Thanks to teens inappropriately tweeting "f*** me daddy" at every conceivable celebrity, the paternal nickname has been enjoying a currency not seen since the Jazz Age and the Daddy-Os of the Fifties. It's also long been the go-to word term of affection used by creepy couples. It also certainly has significant subcultural implications in the BDSM community, for instance, "leather daddies." Model View Culture writer and CEO Shanley Kane, felt like this background should preclude outsiders from using the word, especially during "monogamous missionary" sex. Soon, "Daddy" was trending as Twitter weighed the merits of her argument.
Twitter ultimately reacted to this notion with some scorn and much amusement. Here are 10 of the best:
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*smoking grimly* You either die a large son or you live long enough to appropriate daddy culture
Instagram has over 500 million users. Pretty much everyone is using the social media app to share sexy selfies, sunsets, and brunch pics. Even the super rich and famous are Instagram obsessed. (Except Justin Bieber who went bonkers and deleted his account.) We all love to see celebs' photos from their everyday lives, but the most entertaining thing about their Instagram accounts, in some cases, is how they choose to present themselves in their bios. Here are 15 random celebrities and their equally random Instagram bios.
1. Usher (4.7 million followers)
"Look through my eyes and witness life as I see it."
Male Kardashian Rob Kardashian got a new tattoo on the very public body part connecting his head and his torso, at least according to a new Snapchat vid recently posted by his on-again, off-again future wife, Blac Chyna, who is also pregnant with their child.
A video posted by Rob Kardashian Snapchats (@robphuckedme) on
And the tattoo looks a lot like "Angela," which is Blac Chyna's real name, and the name she plans to go by after their kid is born.
Oh to be young and in love!
These crazy kids, who got married after three months of dating, have had a tumultuous relationship. They most recently got back together after supposedly splitting up on-camera over "suspicious" texts on Chyna's phone. But if that really is her name tattooed on his neck, than their love will probably last forever. And if it doesn't last, hopefully Rob can find another woman he is compatible with named Angela.
Catrin Williams, using the handle @catttttt___ on Twitter, tweeted two photos on August 19 with a caption that pretty perfectly sums up what fun it can be to be female on the internet.
The first photo is of a pair of headphones, helpfully labeled "new headphones," that Williams dared to post on Snapchat.
Such a racy picture. NSFW?
The second photo shows a response she got from some rando about how sexy he imagined she'd be in the headphones and nothing else. Um.
Men, please come collect this gross guy.
Her tweet of the two photos side by side has been retweeted over 30,000 times, because it's something women hear so often about posting pictures online: "Boys wouldn't send weird messages if you didn't put up such slutty photos."
See? If only the headphones weren't so HOT, this wouldn't be a problem. Just stop provoking men into responding to you. Posting a picture of new headphones, wearing nothing at all, in a lascivious pose on top of a floral bedspread sends out a dangerous message.
A real lady doesn't have ears, or a bed, or a body, or an internet presence.
Despite [SPOILER!] only appearing on a few episodes of the Netflix hit Stranger Things before she was killed off by the Monster, Nancy's sensible friend Barb became a fan favorite and fashion icon. I mean, look at that behind-the-glasses eye-roll:
So, yes, even though Eleven saw her corpse in the Upside-down, Barb fans hoped against hope that she might make a return in season two. Alas, there's no hope, said show co-creator Matt Duffer to IGN:
I can’t see it happening. But Barb will not be forgotten. We’ll make sure there’s some justice for Barb. People get very frustrated, understandably, that the town doesn’t seem to be really dealing with Barb. That stuff is all happening. We’re just not spending any screen time on it.
It’s not like her parents are like ‘Oh Barb left. She died!’ Season One actually takes place over the course of six or seven days – it’s a really short period of time. So part of what we want to do with hypothetical Season 2 is to explore the repercussions of everything that happened.
At least Nancy will always have the lingering guilt about being inadvertently responsible for Barb's death to remember her by.
SoulCycle is the indoor cycling fad that has swept the nation. Founded in New York and now offered in 11 states, the classes focus on choreographed movements while cycling. All those movements are timed to a playlist for each class, and conducted in a room dimly lit by candles (the "soul" part). Interestingly, SoulCycle offers no memberships, and classes run about $30 for 45 minutes.
So if you don't live near a SoulCycle studio, or can't always part with $30 for a class, here are a few ways you can get the same benefits for free. FYI: You should always consult a physician before starting an exercise program. (Trust us—most Someecards staffers rarely go to the doctor).
1. Cycling
Whether you hop on a stationary bike at the gym or ride the real thing outdoors, they key is adding a little resistance for your legs. The secret sauce here is interval training—mixing moderate exercise with shorter periods of high-intensity sprints. That way you're both blasting your legs and mixing up your aerobic activity. Try periods with higher resistance settings on the stationary bike, or be sure to hit a few hills in your neighborhood. And if you can't get on a bike, be sure to throw in a few short sprints while running for that interval benefit.
2. Booty
SoulCycle classes involve dance moves set to music, during which your butt will be off the seat, bobbing up and down while you cycle. This works your glutes. But you can work on your back end at the back end of your own workout. Squats and lifts, baby. You can perform single leg dead lifts and sumo squats anywhere.
3. Sweat
Most people leave a SoulCycle class completely drenched. It's the cardio and constant movement, of course, but it's also because the room gets quite toasty during classes. Don't sweat it—the amount you perspire depends on the intensity of your workout, but extra sweat likely does not have any extra health benefit. Which is bad news for those that sweat on their way to work, or on their way anywhere during these sweltering dog days of summer.
4. Soul
There is plenty to be said for group exercise in a candlelit environment. And while SoulCycle is cathartic, the music is crazy loud, which is why the instructors wear those microphone headsets to yell at you over the noise. Make your own playlist, and mix in a few tracks to amp yourself up for those high-intensity intervals. Try some of the fantastic suggestions from President Obama's summer playlist.
You can also make use of tons and tons of free yoga instruction on YouTube:
Now you can confidently skip the SoulCycle class. Just add some high-intensity intervals to your cardio and pay attention to the booty. The music and soul-cleansing is up to you. Just try not to spend that extra $30 on food that would counteract the entire workout.
US men's basketball stomped Serbia 96-66, winning their third straight gold medal, Americans took gold in women's boxing and men's wrestling, and viewers wrestled with their feelings as the Olympics drew to a close. These are the funniest reactions to Day 16 of the Olympics:
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Fun fact: in 2020 the Olympics will be in Tokyo and you'll look at pictures of yourself in 2016 and you won't believe how young you look
In the latest Last Week Tonight, John Oliver discussed how a Trump presidency would be bad for everyone—especially Trump. Saddled with the responsibility of interpreting the Constitution and commanding the armed forces, Trump wouldn't have time to dive into taco bowls. Plus, if condemned to the White House, he would have to live in a house and fly in a plane that don't have his name on them.
Oliver uncovered the secrets of why Trump is putting himself through a campaign that may inevitably ruin his brand of "#winning." The answer can be found in the 1996 book, "The Kid Who Ran For President," and the similarities are uncanny.
Because Trump may or may not know how to read, Oliver recruited Batman-to-be Will Arnett to read the most relevant passages of the book, and the speech that could ultimately give Trump an out while protecting his brand.
The segment was thoroughly enjoyed by the book's author himself, Dan Gutman.
On Sunday, former Teen Mom starFarrah Abraham became the Source of Internet Outrage of The Day when she posted a pic of her daughter to promote her new show, Teen Mom OG. Many people say the photo is inappropriate for a seven-year-old kid. Sophia Abraham's sassy pose is undoubtedly one that every kid has struck while imitating music videos, but people are criticizing Abraham for putting it on the internet for creeps to ogle.
A photo posted by Farrah Abraham (@farrah__abraham) on
The comments are harsh. One fan joked:
This promo for the show doesn't look right. It's like she's promoting her daughter for the show as the next Teen Mom. That's the first impression I got.
One pointed out that seven-year-olds posing in bikinis is a widespread trend on reality shows other than Teen Mom:
Everyone is talking about bikinis and provocative poses.... But it's ok for other little children to dress and pose like that at beauty pageants. Walk up and down a stage like its the Victoria secret fashion show in front of ppl.. Some of whom should probably have sex offender status...
And of course there were the pious fans praying for Abraham and her family.
I'm praying that @farrah__abraham finds faith in the life and starts raising her daughter in a better way, it's not so much about the way you look physically but what's inside that counts. Beauty comes from within. I know she wants to make lots of money but exploiting yourself and child is not that way to go. In the end you can have all the money in the world and still be unhappy. I'm praying for her.
People also came to Abraham's defense, while bringing up her entrepreneurial decision to make a sex tape so she could support her daughter.
Who cares really? How many mom's actually put their daughters in bikinis now? It's really almost all you can buy. You're all just hating on Farrah because of the so called sex tape, when she did whatever she had to do to support her daughter for the future.
A photo posted by Farrah Abraham (@farrah__abraham) on
One thing is for certain: no matter how righteous or pure you may be, spamming a mom and praying her daughter is taken away is probably not the way to show it.
The 2016 Olympic Games Closing Ceremony in Rio had everything, from mesmerizing psychedelic displays to the return of the shirtless Tongan, plus a certain famous plumber named Mario. See for yourself, in the 21 funniest reactions to the ceremony on social media:
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the olympics are over. closing ceremony goes on. crazy that they kill all the athletes. love tradition though!!! #ANewGenerationStepsForward
On Saturday, Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte sat down with Matt Lauer to apologize for lying about getting robbed at gunpoint in Rio. Well, he's sorry for his "over-exaggeration" of the story, but he's still not entirely sure he didn't get robbed. But he is taking "full responsibility" either way.
Immediately after the incident (in which Lochte pulled a framed advertisement off the wall and peed everywhere but the bathroom), Lochte told Lauer in a phone interview, "We are victims here." But the police said: "Not victims, they're vandals." Lochte says:
It's how you wanna make it look like. Whether you call it a robbery, whether you call it extortion, or just us paying for the damages, we don't know, all we know is that there was a gun pointed in our direction and we were demanded to give money.
Lauer points out that someone did translate the words of the gas station employees, who were saying the swimmers had to pay for the stuff they broke or else they were going to call the cops. So, not so much a robbery. Lauer presses Lochte to see if he understands. Lochte says, "We just wanted to get out of there." Yeah, probably almost as much as he wanted to get out of that interview.
Even if Lauer wasn't ready to let Lochte off the hook so easily, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) sure was, chalking the incident up to just kids having fun.
Pokébros in Japan are ordering massive Snorlax cushions only to find that their very appeal–their massiveness—makes them nearly impossible to fit through the door.
You might think you want to pay $516 for an approximately four-foot-wide, five-foot-tall Snorlax cushion because you're lonely and you need a big Snorlax hug. But keep in mind, Snorlax can't pay rent.
And you might wish he would, since he's going to be basically as big as your studio apartment.
Great news, ladies. Sexism is over! At least, according to more than 50% of men. RIP sexism. Goodbye forever.
The Pew Research Center surveyed 4,602 adults this past June and July on whether they believe that there are “still significant obstacles that make it harder for women to get ahead than men.” And 56% of men said no, compared to just 34% of women. But what would women know about their own experiences regarding sexism?
“A 63% majority of women say obstacles continue to make it harder for women than men today, compared with 34% who say they are largely gone,” said Pew researchers. “Among men, 41% think women still face obstacles that make it harder to get ahead, while 56% say those challenges have mostly been eliminated.”
The survey also found, maybe unsurprisingly, that Democrats were more likely to believe in sexism than Republicans. Only 23% of Republican men believe women still face challenges due to sexism, whereas Republican women were split about 50-50 on the issue.
The study didn't provide answers as to why so many men believe obstacles like the wage gap and sexual harassment no longer exist. But if you asked one, he'd probably be willing to explain.
American gymnasts Simone Biles, Aly Raisman, and Madison Kocian celebrated the end of the Rio Olympics (and their many, many medals) with a well-deserved day on the beach in Rio.
Are you in average-to-bad physical shape and relatively popular? Let's change that! Being likable may have been cool in the 20th century, but today, it's all about being super fit while alienating everyone close to you. Here are six fitness trends that will transform you into the hot, insufferable lunatic you always dreamed you could be:
1. Aerial yoga
Do you do yoga? Good for you, but so does everyone—even cats. If you want to stand out as the most unbearable member of your friend group, try aerial yoga, in which you do yoga poses while suspended above the ground in a fabric hammock. This exercise will help strengthen your core while transforming you into the kind of person who says things like "strengthen your core."
2. Spinning
Spinning is the ideal fitness regime for those of you who want the athletic perks of biking without the hassles of being outside or going anywhere. Indoor cycling programs like SoulCycle involve a lot of peddling on a standing bicycle, usually while techno music blares and an instructor yells at you.
After just a few weeks of spin class, your heart will be as hard as your calf muscles. No one can hurt you. Not even your friends who no longer call you to hang out (because whenever they do, you keep suggesting spin class).
3. Tough Mudder
Tough Mudder was invented by a British Harvard Business School graduate and a former corporate lawyer, in case you thought something involving this much mud couldn't be pretentious. Participants in this endurance event go through a 10- to 12-mile-long military-style obstacle course, which includes challenges like the "Arctic Enema," in which you plunge into a dumpster filled with ice water, or "Electroshock Therapy," in which you have to cross a pit of mud with electric wires dangling above it.
What a fun way to spend a Saturday! This fitness trend will put your friends' cute little workout routines to shame. They won't even dare to mention exercise in your presence, or talk to you at all.
4. Marathon running
It's not a real sport unless you pee yourself while doing it. That's why marathon running is the sportiest sport of all. It pushes your body to the max of what it's capable of, while pushing all your friends away. Don't forget to talk about your marathon on social media. Also get your run sponsored to raise money for a good cause, so everyone knows you are both athletic and virtuous! You are literally a god.
5. Treadmill desk
One of the biggest challenges of office life is how to let your co-workers know you are better than them every day without directly telling them? Solution: the treadmill desk. Hook up a treadmill to your standing desk and watch your slothful co-workers writhe in resentment as they sit at their desks all day, slowly killing themselves.
After a month working at your treadmill desk, you will look hot af. Also you'll probably get a raise after all your co-workers suddenly quit because they couldn't stand your incessant jogging at work. Win-win!
6. CrossFit
CrossFit is kind of like boot camp. It's perfect for those of you who want to be physically prepared to fight in a war, but just for fun (and a sick bod). The timed workouts encourage a sense of camaraderie among members of this highly-exclusive (and often expensive) program, all factors which make it the perfect fitness trend to drive your friends completely crazy with irritation. But you know they're just jealous of the fact that your body looks like a pile of boulders.
The best thing about CrossFit is telling people you do CrossFit. So have fun at your next party! Because it might be the last party you get invited to for a while, you hot, insufferable lunatic.
Kim Cattrall celebrated her 60th birthday on August 21, but she doesn't look a day over Smith Jerrod. If she's anything like her iconic character Samantha Jones, Cattrall celebrated dancing at a club she did PR for on Saturday night, followed by a raucous rendezvous with a mystery man, followed by brunch with the girls on Sunday.
Cattrall's "sister" from another TV show honored the birthday girl with a beautiful pic and sweet message, sending love from a "fellow mischief maker."
One can only dream of knowing what exact mischief the "fellow mischief maker" refers to, but hopefully it has something to do with on-set pranks or modesty garments.
Willie Garson, who played Stanford Blatch, one of pop culture's forefathers to the Gay Best Friend genre, also celebrated Cattrall's day with a pic.
A photo posted by Willie Garson (@willie.garson) on
For her part Cattrall, suggesting that she might be actually be a Samantha, shared a photo of herself dancing with a mystery man. (A Carrie would also be down to post a similar picture, but it could certainly scratch out the possibility of Cattrall being a Charlotte or a Miranda)
Her message of "getting more & more interesting all the time" is an awesome clapback at Hollywood, who would have you believe that women over 60 (hell, women over 35) don't even exist.
Happy birthday, Kim Cattrall! Thanks for existing!
xMudxCrabx posted a picture to Reddit of two kids on the first day of school (ALREADY?), and it has been viewed almost 8 million times. One child is her bright-eyed, bushy-tailed little girl, wearing an adorable bunny rabbit dress and beaming into the camera. The other is the girl's brother, wearing his backpack, curled up distraught and crying on the floor, clearly in the middle of his first existential crisis.
The picture is captioned simply, "There's two types of kids on the first day of school." There sure are. Aww, it's going to be all right, little fella! Probably! Well, I can't promise that. But you'll get through it and there's always next summer.
5. Ryan Lochte, because he had to grovel to Matt Lauer.
How could someone with hair that pure be such a jerk?
The Summer Olympics have officially wrapped un in Rio, but you wouldn't know it from reading the news—everyone is still preoccupied with 2016's favorite new event, the Ryan Lochte Shameathlon. After the American swimmer initially claimed he and his bros had been robbed at gunpoint, it turned out that story was just a cover-up for the awful truth—they had gotten wasted and peed all over a gas station bathroom.
Now that the story is out, Lochte is going on a nationwide apology tour, groveling at the feet of America's most judgmental media figures in an effort to look like less of a douchebag than he is. This morning, he finally appeared on the Today show to prostrate himself in front of America's vice principal, Matt Lauer.
Check out Lochte's full interview if you really want to have a good cringe. Or just wait for him to be interviewed by Oprah. That'll be a bloodbath.
4. Mischa Barton, because she skipped out on work and it cost her $200k.
Fomer O.C. star Mischa Barton can't get any good press these days. First she tried to support the Black Lives Matter movement with the most spectacularly tone-deaf Instagram post of all time. And now she's facing a six-figure fine, all because she chose to party instead of showing up for work.
Mischa, Mischa, Mischa.
TMZ reports that Barton had signed on to start in the upcoming independent film Promoted this past spring, but went M.I.A. on March 3, the day before shooting was set to begin. Producers tried to email her, but just got a response from her mom that she was in Europe and wouldn't be available for weeks. Then, to add to her problems, Barton posted tweets of herself cruising with some hot guy in Italy.
Promoted's screenwriter, Daniel Lief, took Barton to court, and now a judge has ordered that she must pay Lief $200,000 for her shenanigans. And if that seems steep, consider this: the delay in production cost the movie $300,000. Plus they had to recast the lead with somebody who doesn't have the star power of a washed-up soap opera actress from 2006.
3. Leonardo DiCaprio, because he wrecked the car.
Let's just hope he didn't shout "I'm flying."
It might seem like Leonardo DiCaprio has the best life in the world, but he's also under a lot of pressure. In addition to having to maintain his high-profile acting career, he also has to worry about appearing young in front of his many beautiful girlfriends, none of whom have been over 25. And it's hard to look young when you're getting in fender benders like Mr. Magoo.
The AP reports that DiCaprio and his current babe, 24-year-old Danish supermodel Nina Agdal, were unhurt when the actor got into a minor accident in East Hampton on Saturday. The actor has frequented the Hamptons for years, but this is his first crash there. Maybe he's getting into character to play famous Long Island reckless driver Billy Joel in a biopic? We can only hope.
2. A guy who ate 40 knives and got a bellyache.
Yum yum.
42-year-old Jarnail Singh of Gurdaspur, India was recently admitted to the hospital because of severe stomach pains and weakness. Doctors performed an ultrasound on his abdomen, where they discovered a large and puzzling mass. Inserting a camera into his stomach to learn more, they realized that what they thought was a tumor was actually shards of metal and wood.
They were forced to ask him an awkward question: "Have you been eating knives?" Singh's answer: yup. He explained that he had developed an urge to eat knives after recovering from a car accident. (Look out, Leo). He believed that he had swallowed 28 knives, but after a five-hour surgery, doctors wound up removing 40 of the pointy treats from his stomach.
Asked by reporters to explain himself, Singh only had this to say: “I felt like eating knives and ate them.” So that checks out.
1. A drug dealer who tried to evade cops by wearing an old man mask.
Shaun Miller (a.k.a. Shizz Miller) is an alleged drug trafficker who was on the run from the law from April until August 18. That's when cops discovered the 31-year-old Massachusetts resident hiding out on Cape Cod. When officers raided his hideout, Miller tried to trick them by putting on a realistic latex mask of an old man. But because real life isn't Mission: Impossible, it didn't work.
In the home, police found two loaded weapons in a laundry basket, as well as almost $30,000 in cash. Maybe next time, Miller will think to spend some of that money on a more realistic mask. Or he could at least have the sense not to answer to the name "Shizz" when the cops are around.
