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Jay Pharoah breaks out 8 impressions while reviewing spicy hot wings.

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Saturday Night Live alum Jay Pharoah is one of the current reigning masters of comedic impressions (especially impressions of black comedians), which he proves by breaking out a rapid-fire series of famous voices while eating hot wings. In between bites of First We Feast hot sauce,* Jay has DMX, Will Smith, Stephen A. Smith, Denzel Washington, Shannon Sharpe, Jay Z, Eddie Murphy, and Gollum give the actual sauce reviews. This may be the most celebrities you'll see in one hot-sauce-based video.

*Yeah, this hot sauce company made the channel, but so far it's just comedians eating wings, so we're cool with it.


Rose McGowan penned this amazing note to Shannen Doherty about 'bad girl shaming' in Hollywood.

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On Tuesday night, Rose McGowan posted an Instagram picture with a really sweet and empowering message to Shannen Doherty, who is currently undergoing treatment for cancer. McGowan confessed that she was always worried about being branded as "difficult" in Hollywood, like Doherty was, but that she now really regrets how afraid she was of being cast as one of Hollywood's "bad girls." Because screw the patriarchy.

Dear @theshando Someone made this of us & I wanted to share it with you as it made me reflect. We have a funny history. As young women we were pitted against each other for society's pleasure. The rules of Hollywood engagement brainwashed into us were truly vile. The men & brainwashed women in our business made it so we couldn't be friends, I regret that. We were cast in this weird fake reality show where we were supposed to be enemies. I resented it greatly. I regret not being awake enough to articulate this to you at the time. Fear was drilled into me from day one in this town & you were the barometer by which my behavior was judged. I was under a microscope, one false move and I'd be branded 'difficult' just like you. I think we all know what happens when girls here get out of line. I willfully remained enigmatic & unengaged. The Bad Girl Shaming you received at the hands of the media was merciless. Global media shaming is real AF, as you know. Fuck them all & their machine, too. You cast a long shadow over my life. We were both cast in a fake real life role, that of the Bad Girl. I had to prove I wasn't as bad as you or I'd get the axe, too. But we were never the bad ones, it was them., the Beige Brained White Dudes in Charge. Well fuck them. Damn them for fucking with our minds & careers just because their misogynistic belief systems couldn't sanction two strong females in a traditionally subservient role- actress. I refused to give them the cat fight they so wanted. Shannen, we didn't know it yet, but we were the good ones. Two boss young women that scared the 'faux-liberals in provincial Hollywood, for that sin we got burned at the media stake, egged on by Hollywood who believe the press they start. There was a strongly inferred threat of me being blacklisted in tv as I'd been in film. Instead of understanding that we were a different breed, they tried to crush us, but they couldn't. I send you strength. ⚒🛡#rosearmy #BRAVE #shannendoherty #typos4life

A photo posted by Rose McGowan (@rosemcgowan) on

The picture included cartoon versions of both women, and McGowan's caption read:

Dear @theshando Someone made this of us & I wanted to share it with you as it made me reflect. We have a funny history. As young women we were pitted against each other for society's pleasure. The rules of Hollywood engagement brainwashed into us were truly vile. The men & brainwashed women in our business made it so we couldn't be friends, I regret that. We were cast in this weird fake reality show where we were supposed to be enemies. I resented it greatly. I regret not being awake enough to articulate this to you at the time. Fear was drilled into me from day one in this town & you were the barometer by which my behavior was judged. I was under a microscope, one false move and I'd be branded 'difficult' just like you. I think we all know what happens when girls here get out of line. I willfully remained enigmatic & unengaged. The Bad Girl Shaming you received at the hands of the media was merciless. Global media shaming is real AF, as you know. Fuck them all & their machine, too. You cast a long shadow over my life. We were both cast in a fake real life role, that of the Bad Girl. I had to prove I wasn't as bad as you or I'd get the axe, too. But we were never the bad ones, it was them., the Beige Brained White Dudes in Charge. Well fuck them. Damn them for fucking with our minds & careers just because their misogynistic belief systems couldn't sanction two strong females in a traditionally subservient role- actress. I refused to give them the cat fight they so wanted. Shannen, we didn't know it yet, but we were the good ones. Two boss young women that scared the 'faux-liberals in provincial Hollywood, for that sin we got burned at the media stake, egged on by Hollywood who believe the press they start. There was a strongly inferred threat of me being blacklisted in tv as I'd been in film. Instead of understanding that we were a different breed, they tried to crush us, but they couldn't. I send you strength. #rosearmy #BRAVE #shannendoherty #typos4life

Both women were on the cult late 90s/early aughts TV show, Charmed, but not at the same time. When Doherty left​ the after the third season, McGowan came in to take her place (different character, though). But they might just forge a friendship yet. As long as McGowan is Team Brenda.

Donald Trump went on 'Dr. Oz' just to be weird about kissing Ivanka again.

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Donald Trump taped an episode of Dr. Oz on Wednesday, and although it hasn't aired, journalist Katy Tur of NBC had a source in the audience with the exciting scoop that the internet's favorite campaign story is back: Trump's reverse-Oedipus complex with his daughter Ivanka. The source also had information on Donald Trump's latest physical, but it's his physical interaction with Ivanka that's going viral.

According to Tur's source, Ivanka walked on stage and Trump gave her a kiss. Then,

Dr. Oz said "it's nice to see a dad kiss his daughter" and Trump responded he "kisses her every chance he gets."

If it happened by itself, it would be no big deal. But after a year-and-a-half of these moments, it just makes you wonder why no one at Camp Trump has the courage to tell the boss that there's this weird rumor online about him and Ivanka.

In case you're blissfully unaware, Donald Trump famously said on The View that "she does have a very nice figure. I've said if Ivanka weren't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her."

He also told Rolling Stone in September 2015,

"Yeah, [Ivanka’s] really something and what a beauty, that one. If I weren’t happily married, and ya know, her father…"

And Howard Stern back in 2003,

“You know who’s one of the great beauties of the world, according to everybody. And I helped create her. Ivanka. My daughter, Ivanka. She’s six feet tall, she’s got the best body.”

People quickly found old photos like the one above of Donald and Ivanka next to their fornicating parrot statues. Other old photos emerged, and soon any time the two appeared together, people started watching for odd moments. The Trumps haven't been shy about providing them.

Trump later praised Melania and Ivanka's speeches, forgetting Eric, Don Jr., and Tiffany.

Ivanka isn't the only Trump with two X chromosomes whom Donald has said weird things about. Here he is discussing his one-year-old daughter Tiffany's future breasts.

At least Trump has promised to put Ivanka in his cabinet. It may be weird any time they're together, but as the child-care and maternity leave proposals Ivanka forced Donald to adopt prove, she's the most serious person he listens to. Granted, when he unveiled those widely-praised proposals of Ivanka's, he did it by imitating her saying "Daddy, Daddy, you've got to do this!" Baby steps.

(By the way, since everyone forgot the actual point of visiting Dr. Oz, Trump allegedly has decent blood pressure, takes cholesterol meds but is doing ok, weighs 267 pounds, and would be the heaviest and oldest president ever elected.)

Article 27

Chelsea Clinton got mommy-shamed for her missing daughter's first day of school for the presidential campaign.

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The internet took a break from yelling at Hillary Clinton for being sick to instead yell at Chelsea Clinton for missing her daughter's first day of school. Chelsea, as you may know, was busy helping her mother, who has not only been sick but is running for president. I'm so, so tired by this already so I can only imagine how Chelsea and Hillary feel.

Chelsea has been on the campaign trail in North Carolina to help her mom, who is recovering from pneumonia, save the world from Trump. Because of this, she had to miss her daughter Charlotte's first day of school, as the Daily Mail discovered when they photographed the two-year-old in a stroller with her nanny and dad.

Presumably, young Charlotte—who is in the care of not one but two responsible adults—will be just fine. One could argue going to school without your mom is a lot less stressful than being followed by paparazzi.

A few news sources picked up the non-story, including a Fox affiliate that posted it and asked their followers to "sound off" on whether or not Chelsea is a bad mom (as if the internet needs to be reminded to "sound off" about anything). They have since deleted the post, but not before writer Parker Molloy grabbed a snapshot.

I would like to sound off: everyone leave Chelsea alone. Make up your minds: are helicopter parents ruining America, or does Chelsea need to literally watch her daughter's entire life? If any mom needs the flexibility to go save the world while Dad takes the kid to school, or even if she just needs a day to stay home for Netflix and Cheerios, that's her prerogative.

A long-lost character may be rowing his hard body back to 'Game of Thrones,' and fans are ecstatic.

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Remember when Arya Stark was still a little kid instead of a trained killer and she had a crush on that cutie pie Baratheon bastard Gendry? Well, even if you forgot about those more innocent times, the creators of Game of Thrones apparently haven't.

Joe Dempsie, who last played Gendry way back in season 3, has been photographed in Belfast, one of the locations where the next season of the HBO hit is filming. Here is a GIF of Gendry, so you remember what he looks like:

I'm, um, looking forward to see him again.

Article 24

College freshman sends terrifying email to her new roommates before she even meets them.

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Starting college can be stressful—moving away from home, finding your way around campus, and taking all sorts of new, difficult classes. But none of that compares to the horrors of a psycho roommate—so good luck to Winnie, a student who recently received a seriously unhinged email from her new roommate-to-be. The screengrab she tweeted of it quickly went viral, and it's not hard to see why.

She seems fun!

The letter reads:

Okay so I'm not sure why neither of you responded back to my emails, but I don't really care just as long as you both know this and understand that I'm not gonna settle for anything less than what I'm gonna tell you that I'm gonna get once I arrive in the dorm. I'll take the top bunk of the bunk bed that has a bottom and top bunk. I DO NOT want the single bunk where it has a desk underneath the top bunk so don't try to leave me that. I'm also taking one of the white closets. There should be two white closets and I'm taking one of them. I don't care for which one it is, just know I'm taking one of them.

I want the desk that's near the window. Plain and simple. I don't care about who gets the bottom bunk but just know what I stated above is what I'm expecting once I arrive at the dorm and I won't be in the mood for any arguing or other nonsense because one of you two decided to deliberately disregard this email. If needed be I'll turn it into a bigger situation so don't try me.

Sorry but not that sorry for the attitude. I don’t like being ignored because that’s just rude but that’s what you both decided to do so I decided to make it clear now on the kind of person I am and what I will and will not take.

So as a final reminder: I am getting the top bunk of the bunk bed with the bed on the bottom, I am getting one of the white closes and I’m getting the desk near the window. That’s fair enough to ask considering that I’m giving up fighting for the top bunk.

Jesus Christ on a cracker! Where does this girl think she's moving, the Bad Girls Club residence?

The third roommate, Guistinna Tun (who apparently already knows the tweeter, Winnie), responded to the out-of-control email thusly:

No one wants to be tried. Please, no trying.

Hi Ashly,

First and foremost, I was not ignoring you. Not only have I been incredibly busying moving houses this week and driving back and forth for more than three hours everyday, which leaves me little to no time to talk to my friends – much less check my email – but I’m not used to communicating with people through email. So please excuse me for being rusty at this. Plus, I we got in contact on Tuesday, and today is barely Thursday. A day’s difference shouldn’t be made into such a “BIGGER SITUATION.” That’s why I suggested we communicate through group chat on Facebook messenger, but its honestly okay if you don’t want to. I can settle with emailing.

Second I would like to say that me and Winnie are extremely easy going people. We’re chill and more than willing to compromise with one another, including you, and make decisions based on fairness. And we appreciate that you are letting us know your preferences from the get go. But… here is a list of things we don’t appreciate.
1. Assuming off the bat that we are ignoring you. Please, don’t play the victim. It’s petty.
2. You making all of these demands. While it may not like it to you, it seems like it to us.
3. Your attitude. GIIRRRL, WE HAVEN’T EVEN MET YET. But at this rate, I don’t think I wanna even meet you anymore #SORRYBUTNOTTHATSORRY
4. Your sense of entitlement… just because you gave up the BOTTOM BUNK. Please, there is more to life than the bottom bunk. And that doesn’t give you the excuse to automatically demand ‘THE TOP BUNK THAT HAS A BOTTOM AND TOP BUNK, ONE OF THE WHITE CLOSETS AND A DESK THAT’S NEAR THE WINDOW.”

Look I’m not here to fight with you. I hate being a bitch, but I am not going to allow anyone to talk to me or Winnie like that. You said “don’t try me” but you ended up trying me. So, here I am. I’d understand if you would want to chance roommates after reading this email, because honestly, that is how me and Winnie felt after reading yours. But if you’re willing to work this out and start over, then so are we. I’m all about being open minded and getting to know people. Just let me and Winnie know.

And because you just know out-of-control Ashly has to get the last word in, she wrote back. Crisis averted (for now).

Lol at "lol."

But word of advice: while I stepped out of line with my attitude, you throwing it right back along with other snarky unnecessary comments is just fighting fire with fire. I’m mature enough to put out the fire myself once I see it spreading, but other people aren’t so I don’t think that was necessariliy the right way to handle the situation.

However like I said, the fact that you stuck up for you and winnie seemed pretty cool to me- I like people who know how to speak up for themselves but most importantly, for others too. So yeah, I don’t mind starting over considering the fact that I don’t get along with other people right off the bat because I’m not that much of a people person. So I’m not looking to find other roommates either.

I’m also really chill too. But as you can see from my previous email, I am like a ticking time bomb that sets off when certain things I don’t like happen to me. I went far with the assumptions that you both were ignoring me, but I wasn’t “playing victim” I truly believed I was being ignored because of how I was looking at the situation. My mind trails elsewhere when I’m not catching it on the tracks.

I’m an over analyzer which leads to over thinking at times. I do have anger issues that has only been going off recently because of personal stuff, one of the major ones being that I’m leaving home to go miles away. If that scares you then you can request another roommate. I have low tolerance for a lot of things and my patience level isn’t high at all. those are the three things I’ve been working on and plan on working on while in college too since it’s one of the best times to grow and develop into who you want to be.

So, now that I’ve said a little bit more about myself and my piece of the situation, if you’d like to request another roommate that’s fine. But if not that’s cool too, I’d appreciate if you would take the top bunk with the desk underneath (lol.)

Tun handled it pretty reasonably, so it looks like this super chill ticking time bomb won't be going off this time. THIS TIME. We're all really looking forward to updates from Winnie when the three girls move in—I'm sure everything will go just perfectly AS LONG AS ASHLY GETS THE DESK BY THE WINDOW. Can you imagine the passive-aggressive note-leaving in these girls' future? Girls, leave your pet rabbits at home, 'cause Ashly will boil the shit out of those suckers if you try her.


18 people share the worst things they ever blurted out without thinking.

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On Tuesday, Redditors came together to share their best "I should NOT have said that" moments, because it's oddly comforting to know you're not the only one who ever said something so cringe-worthy it made you want to hole up in a cave for the rest of forever. While most people work hard to suppress the memory of saying something incredibly embarrassing or inappropriate, these people decided to share theirs over a public internet forum.

Things are going to get real awkward.

1. What AcetylLater said could have sent a pregnant woman into early labor.

I was in my OB-GYN clinical rotation. Had a very nervous and borderline overly worried first time expecting mother that I was taking care of. She was in for a routine pregnancy visit. I was performing the fetal heart monitor check with the doppler. Perfect heart sounds for a few seconds then the battery on the doppler machine ran out. I mutter "Dang it, it died". The mother let out this shriek. "NO, NO, NO - the battery died". Needless to say, lots of time spent with me sitting there with the ultrasound showing her the beating heart and taking pictures.

2. blewws will do anything for a puppy. Anything.

"Your puppy is adorable!" "Thanks. He's learning to be a service dog. He'll be working with my son who has neurological damage." "I wish I had neurological damage!"

3. abeersoundsnice picked the worst word possible to describe coworkers.

I'm reluctant to even post this because it was really stupid and embarrassing.

While I was in college I managed a movie theater. One day during the winter, a female employee came to the managers' office after her shift and told us that someone had put a cinder block behind her rear tire and poured water on it so it froze to the asphalt preventing her from backing out of her spot. A couple managers chipped it away for her and had a serious talk about starting to walk employees out to their cars after work in the future. I was on the pro walk them out side. I was trying to make the case that we have quite a few very petite, trusting female employees who might be people a rapist might choose as a potential victim. However, I'm not known for thinking before I speak and instead of saying that I said, "we have some rapeable employees here." There was nothing but complete silence and stares from the other managers for about fifteen seconds until one of them said, "you should figure out a better way to word that." It was one of my more embarrassing situations.

4. Jimmeh912 went to the dark side by saying this.

Cat is sitting in girlfriends lap.

Me: 'Hey the cat looks like the monster that sits in Jabba the Huts lap.'

5. TheLastHaggis tried to make a joke. It was not funny.

Had a friend who taught two different girlfriends of his to drive. One crashed and got badly injured the other crashed and died.

Some years later, met him and his new girlfriend on a night out. He introduced me, I promptly told him "don't teach this one how to drive eh, loooooooooool".

The second I said it I regretted it. Felt like such a dick. Offered to take his best shot to the face for it. He declined. Still feel shitty for it.

6. DukeofJuke discovered the one time not to quote Remember the Titans.

I walked into the break room at work, and heard one middle-aged coworker talking to another. I wasn't particularly listening, but I heard her say "left side." This activated a part of my brain devoted to remembering Remember the Titans, a movie I had seen most of once at least five years prior.

So, like any good person would, I half-to-three-quarters-shouted, "LEFT SIDE! STRONG SIDE!"

The coworker looked at me for a full two seconds, then said to her companion, quieter now, "Yeah. He's doing a little better, but that whole side is still paralyzed."

Her husband had had a stroke. It turned out to have nothing to do with Remember the Titans.

7. wiseprocrastinator served a yo' mama joke to their own mama.

Someone said to me when I was younger that I'd grow up to be just like my mother. My instant response was 'what, fat?'. My mother was there. Oops.

Ironically, I now am much fatter as well.

8. todayonjeremykyle shows that you don't have to blurt something out loud to seriously eff up.

I used to work for a small web agency in a tiny office. There was one loud account manager who just blathered on and said some outrageously stupid things (e.g. told a customer we couldn't polish a turd, about work we'd done for them).

One day he's droning on at volume 11 about some bullshit and it was echoing around the office whilst I was trying to work. I sent my friend a message on MSN saying "OH FFS WON'T YOU JUST SHUT UP YOU NOISY CUNT!".

Obviously I'd sent it to the wrong person.

He looked over at me and mouthed "What the fuck!?", I panicked and did the only thing I could think of and sent a smiley emoticon.

9. Oh God, ReverseGusty, no.

Black colleague: "have you seen the video of the baby monkey?"

Me: "no is it about you?"

What fucking possessed me

10. iwantmynickffs did exactly what your mom always told you not to do.

When I was a kid I went over to my friend's place and we had dinner. I remember that the food was some tasty pasta dish with a slightly sour component, something that I hadn't really experienced in savoury dishes before. So I was thinking really hard about where I had experienced a similar sourness with food in my mouth before and blurted out:

"It tastes like vomit"

To be honest I was too confused over why the mother replied that I should just not eat it if I didn't like it to correct her. It was delicious after all.

I'M SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE YOU THINK I DID!

11. iamlinkalot said something grosser than a hotdog tastes.

We were at a friends and having hotdogs, and one of our friends (who is a girl) was like "I wish there were more hotdogs, but we've run out" to which I replied "I've got a hotdog right here"

I can feel the cringe and disappointment in myself typing this

​12. Pokabou had a beast of a Freudian slip.

Meant to say beating a dead horse, said beating off a dead horse.

In class

13. MisterMortal said something racist, but it surprisingly ended up being okay.

Went to a pub, had one drink too much, went outside to smoke a cigarette and saw this asian looking guy. Alcohol got better of me and being friendly guy I am I decided to make a new friend and what's the better way than making a joke?

"Wadup suzuki!"

I immediately felt like a biggest asshole in the world while the "should have not said that" meme flashed before my eyes in a violent fashion. But then the asian guy turns to me and says:

"Have we met before?"

"Well, I don't think so..."

"Then how do you know my last name?"

The guy was named Suzuki! You can imagine my relief! We smoked one more cigarette together, had a pleasant chat and went on our ways.

Even though I dodged the bullet on this one I still feel like shit for blarping out such a racist thing...

14. djkeone still has not been forgiven for what they said.

I was at a concert with my girlfriend and bumped into a group of old friends i hadn't seen in years. they all knew me when I was with my ex, who my current girlfriend was convinced I was still in love with.

when it came time to introduce her I said "I'd like you to meet _" and called her my ex's name in front of this group. fruidian slip/brain fart/too high? awkward silence for a long moment, then says "no, actually my name is __, and I'm his new exgirlfriend as of now." I've never been forgiven for the faux pas and still can't figure out why I said that.

15. iamthejed almost certainly got an F from this teacher.

I think I may have posted about this one before.

Grade 8, last day of class. Heavy-set teacher who hated my family but liked me.

Teach: No one is leaving until the fat lady sings

me: You're really going to sing?

16. kevie3drinks made a faux pas bigger than his wife's new shirt.

Last year, i think it was in November, my wife came home from shopping with a shirt. She put it on and I said "Oh, is that your ugly christmas sweater?"

it wasn't

17. steiner_math really spoke their mind. Even if their mind is kind of rude.

I was on a date with a girl and she said she was a vegetarian.

My response? "That's stupid"

I have no idea why I said it and I regretted it immediately

18. wheresmattynow sounds sort of familiar. WAITAMINUTE—

This one time I had this guard dog that I raised from a pup. Anyway, one day my employer comes to me and says he has some kind of underground vault/cellar, IDK, and he asks me if he can borrow the dog because he's got some valuable stuff down there. Me, I'm a pretty chill guy (people think I'm violent cos I'm quite big but really I'm a gentle giant) so I tell him, "of course", but he says not to tell anyone cos he doesn't want people knowing or getting curious and going to check out the cellar.

Anyway, a couple days later these kids somehow break into his cellar and Fluffy nearly tears their heads off. I know the kids and they ask me about it and I accidentally spill that I lent the dog to the guy (he's a headmaster) to guard his underground chamber thingy.

I shouldn't have said that, should not have said that.

MFW I did it again like five times with the same kids over the next three years.

British Prime Minister Theresa May told to stop wearing heels in order to "advance" women.

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England has a new Prime Minister named Theresa May and everyone has a lot of opinions about her policies shoes. May's love of kitten heels has been widely discussed, even though she's the Prime Minister of England and not your friend at brunch. Now, she is being asked by a delegate from an influential trade union to stop wearing her beloved high heels in order to "advance the cause for women in the workplace."

In summation: A woman in a powerful position is being told she can not wear the shoes she likes in order to "empower women"?? It's a riddle wrapped in sexist double standards inside an eye-rolling enigma. This is Theresa May, by the way, beginning her term in office and somehow not bringing up shoes:

At a conference of Trades Union Congress (TUC), a national trade union in the UK, members voted unanimously to make it illegal for employers to impose "sexist dress codes" forcing women to wear high heels. All well and good, because forcing women to wear heels is weird. Then, a delegate at the conference named Penny Robinson added an addendum that May should stop wearing high heels to make a statement to the public.

“Our new prime minister might be well known for her leopard-print kittens, her leather boots and of course her Jimmy Choos, but if she really wants to advance the cause for women in the workplace, there are two things she can do," said Robinson, who also removed her own high heels in protest. "The first is to make a point of wearing pumps, flats and comfortable shoes for her cabinet, PMQs and for meeting all those EU leaders."

She continued:

Let the media see that you can be the most powerful woman in the country without needing to wear designer shoes to meet men’s expectations. Women are still expected to wear completely inappropriate shoes every day just to make sure that the right image is portrayed for the employer.

Personally, high heels make my feet feel like they're being tortured for information. But, I believe in a woman's right to choose her shoes. So I hope May told these delegates, kindly, to sashay away.

5 cutting-edge sexts that are now possible thanks to iOS 10’s new emojis.

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The latest Apple software upgrade comes with new emojis, which means it's time to upgrade your sexting game. iOS 10 finally features women playing sports and having jobs (but sadly still no female Ghostbuster emoji), and all these new icons can join the beloved eggplant and peach emojis for flirty fun.

Here's how to best utilize some of the new characters.

1. The squirt gun.

2. The female golfer.

3. The female detective.

4. The upgraded haircut emoji.

5. The Vulcan salute.

You're welcome in advance for all the hot sex and/or people who block your number you'll get after using our advice.

This cute semen-detecting police dog is doing important detective work.

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Meet Billie, the cutest semen-sniffer fighting crime in the UK today. Billie works with the force on the Derbyshire Constabulary (perhaps the most British thing you'll read all day) investigating sexual offenses with her specially trained nose.

A dog specially trained to find semen at a crime scene is helping our officers investigate sexual offences. Billie and...

Posted by Derbyshire Constabulary on Wednesday, September 14, 2016

The Derbyshire Constabulary (say that ten times fast) writes on their Facebook page that Billie can "detect stains on a range of surfaces and has detected stains more than a year old."

With this superpower, Billie can find a DNA link where an alleged rape has taken place, leading to a conviction.

The Derbyshire Constabulary's (I'm officially obsessed with that phrase) superintended Dick Hargreaves (oh, British names!) says that Billie's skills have already been successfully employed.

He’s already been used in numerous investigations and has found evidence that has resulted in crime scene investigators identifying DNA profiles.

Billie's ability to find evidence will lead to crucial convictions and a safer Derbyshire.

This is how Billie's evidence will be received in court, but the other kind of court.

This uncomfortable groin-loosening fitness video has gone viral for its sheer awkwardness.

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It's official, folks: "Loosen Up That Groin For The Weekend" is the sleeper fitness viral video of the Fall. We've all been there: you're eating something unhealthy when a fitness video pops up on your Facebook feed. FML! But every once in a golden while, a video like this one from CaliSpine pops up and you're not sure if you're watching a fitness video or something totally inappropriate for the workplace.

Loosen up That Groin for the Weekend!

The adductors (inner thighs) greatly restrict your range of motion in a deep squat and prevent the legs from being spread wide enough to allow the hips to settle straight down and maintain a flat back. This simple exercise is meant to be done for 2 minutes on each side and is excellent as an active warmup before your squats. Make sure you maintain a flat back during this exercise. Your goal is to get your butt as close to your back heel as possible, but if you round the back, you are cheating! #Exercise #HipMobility #GroinRock

Posted by CaliSpine on Friday, July 15, 2016

"Loosen up That Groin for the Weekend" shows a man bent over while the khaki wearing instructor from CaliSpine, a fitness club in California, awkwardly details the muscles being targeted in this most unfortunate stretch.

Seriously, we have no clue what's going on here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude, watch where you put that hand.

Whatever, you immature gigglers. They're just two dudes having some fitness fun, nothing to see here.

On second thought, we're going to call this one like it is...

'Bun dropping' is the hypnotic Instagram trend that will make you want to grow your hair long AF.

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The name #BunDropping suggests this is a new type of twerking, but no: the buns that are dropping are the ones on your head. Long haired women are posting slow motion videos of their buns twisting down their backs like hirsute waterfalls, and it is magical.

Bizarre and captivating at the same time, this trend belongs to women flaunting some some serious long hair privilege. Is this women's answer to last summer's man bun craze? As men's buns go up, women's are going back down.

With all these strange "I'm in a field" scenes, and the super short skirts and shorts, it feels like some of these are preludes to a porn. That said, not all of them look like part of some newly discovered hair fetish thing. Some are just a celebration of a freed bun.

#superlonghair#longhair#reallylonghair#verylonghair#hairgoals#hairporn#bundrop#hairplay#longhairvideo

A video posted by Viktorija Jukonytė (@vikituks) on

Whatever is going on, we like it. Stay weird, Internet.

Forget the DNC leak, Taylor Swift's old MySpace pictures have been found.

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Red alert: someone found Taylor Swift's old 2006 MySpace pics hidden away in an archive, and so many of them are a testament to her best-friendship with her red-headed saint Abigail. The internet truly is forever. It's impossible to imagine what it's like to watch your BFF become a mega-star, but we can come close by looking at what they were like together the year Swift's first album dropped.

It seems like Abigail always knew fame was headed Tay's way.

1.

Hi, we're about to be celebs.

2.

Nice filter work! Thanks, Myspace!

3.

A rare moment with only men.

4.

Cat eye goodness from above.

5.

Because Taylor is a cat lady 4Evr.

6.

Srsly, who is that dude?

7.

Everything looks more betterer with a filter

8.

She must have asked Santa for perfect hair every year.

9.

They, like, always dress in black and white together, right?

10.

And finally, what Myspace album would be complete with out a faux-candid, looking-at-the-screen-instead-of-the-camera shot?

6 actors who went way too far to prepare for a role.

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Sometimes, method acting results in absolutely incredible performances. Sometimes, method acting makes actors kind of f***ing insane. Here are six of those times.

1. Jared Leto

His antics for preparing to play the Joker in Suicide Squad included giving his castmates used condoms and a pig carcass. For Suicide Squad. Was that really worth it? Shut up, Jared Leto.

2. Dustin Hoffman

Hoffman tortured Meryl Streep with memories of her recently deceased partner John Cazale to "help" get her into character during Kramer vs. Kramer. Bad Dustin.

3. Jamie Dornan

Yeah, that's right, the 50 Shades of Grey guy. He apparently once followed a woman home from a train one day to help get into the mind of a serial killer for the TV show The Fall.

4. Daniel Day Lewis

OK, this is actually kind of badass: Lewis built a 17th century house with 17th century tools for his role in The Crucible. That's cool, but The Crucible is an allegory for 1950s McCarthyism.

5. Aaron Eckhart

Eckhart pretended to have lost a child and visited a support group for grieving parents to research his role for Rabbit Hole. Those are kind of supposed to be private, Aaron.

6. Ben Foster

The actor took the same performance-enhancing drugs as Lance Armstrong to prepare for the Armstrong biopic The Program. And how many Tour de France trophies does he even have to show for it? Zero.

'Kimmel' asked kids on the street where babies come from, and haha they got awkward.

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The current late-night king of "asking people on Hollywood Boulevard stuff," Jimmy Kimmel sent his team out into the wilds of LA to ask real kids how babies are made. Now, as mature adults, you and I know the answer to this (I just saw the documentary Storks), but boy, do these kids get flustered. On the other hand, the fact that some of them know the answer is kind of heartening for the state of sex ed in America.

Article 13

5 celebrity couples we desperately want to get back together like Bennifer just did.

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The OG Bennifer, Affleck and Lopez, are back together. Anything is possible! (It took every ounce of restraint I have not to type 100 exclamation points there.) For real, newly single Jennifer Lopez is rumored to be reuniting with her ex Ben Affleck 12 years after their breakup. Let's just hope he doesn't pull a Ben Affleck and ruin the whole thing.

Behold, the beauty of original Bennifer.

If this IRL Gigli reboot is legit, then the sky really is the limit for celebrity fan-fiction coming to life. Here are 5 celebrity couples I want to get back together more than my own parents.

1. Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon

I thought you said he'd "Always Be Your Baby?"

Mariah, if you're reading this (and I know you are), dump your billionaire fiancé immediately and reunite with your baby dad. Nick's love for you is pure and true. It's worth more than a billion billionaires. Remember when Nick told the world he pleasured himself to your song "Hero?" That's real love, Mariah. (It's weird, but it's love.) Also, your li'l family is the cutest.


2. Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling

It wasn't over for ME, and that's what really matters.

I keep thinking that if I just watch The Notebook enough times, I'll be able to mentally force Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams to get back together. (Sorry, Eva Mendes). Whatever their problems were, I'm sure it's nothing French kissing in the rain couldn't fix.

Oops! Spent the last 45 minutes watching this gif.

3. Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake

My life needs more casual hats and more Britney and Justin reunions.

Justin Timberlake said he would absolutely collaborate musically with Britney Spears, but all I heard was, "Hey Brit, bust our matching denim formal wear out of storage, because our love is real and I can't deny it anymore."

I don't care if it's far fetched, I need this one.

Let's party like it's 1999.

4. Amy Poehler & Will Arnett

This is one comedy that's due for a reboot.

When Amy Poehler and Will Arnett split after 10 years of marriage, it broke our hearts. They're both so funny and they have two cute little sons. If any celebrity couple should get back together, it's these two. COME ON!

Yes. Yes, you have.

5. Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston

Ain't no love like a Pitt and Aniston love, because a Pitt and Aniston love don't stop selling tabloids.

It's been 11 years since Brad and Jen broke up, but people have never, ever stopped speculating about whether they'll get back together. Sure, Jen has a handsome new husband and Brad is still happily married to that home-wrecking shrew (only kidding, but I have never and will never see Mr. and Mrs. Smith. #TeamJenforever). I'm 99% sure if Brad and Jen ever did get back together, all of the tabloids would spontaneously combust and there'd be everlasting world peace. But these two are just too selfish to try.

Life without Brangelina be like.

It's doubtful any of these couples will actually follow Bennifer's lead and get back together, but a girl can dream. Alternatively, a girl can listen to "I Will Always Love You" on repeat while a single tear runs slowly down her cheek.

10-year-old girl wearing 'inappropriate' top forced to wear jacket during hot summer recess.

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A 5th grader from Riverview Elementary School in Fort Mill, SC was forced to wear a jacket all day at school, including in the heat when she went out for recess, because her teacher deemed her top "inappropriate."

Alicia Rogers is speaking out on behalf of her daughter, Jordan, claiming that her top was not in violation of the school's dress code when she wore a criss-cross back top to school on September 1, and that the teacher mishandled the situation according to the school's own policy.

According to KFVS12, the school's dress code says that kids (or, let's be real—girls) are not to wear "tank tops, tops with spaghetti string straps over the shoulders, and other tops that expose a student's stomach or midriff," and Rogers is confident that her daughter's top did not fall into those categories.

Plus, possible heat stroke is a bit more important than bare shoulders, right? Come on, Riverview Elementary School.

This is the shirt at the center of the controversy.

Furthermore, according to the school's website, teachers who have issues with student's apparel are supposed to send them to the principal. Rogers is claiming that this teacher failed to comply with policy when they took the matter into their own hands.

Rogers is now demanding an apology from the school and is planning on speaking in front of the Fort Mill School Board about the incident. She also says that she is speaking up to set an example for her daughter.

"I wanted to take this situation where she felt completely powerless, and I wanted to give her a chance to kind of turn that into empowerment to stand up."

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