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Your Tinder matches can now see the embarrassing music you listen to on Spotify.

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Starting on Tuesday, your Tinder matches are going to be able to see all the embarrassing things you listen to on Spotify.

According to Tinder CEO Sean Rad, if a Tinder user links their Spotify account to their dating profile, potential matches will be able to see their top played songs before swiping right. So if you secretly sing along to "Let It Go" every day, or if you don't want anyone to know that Hannah Montana is your guilty pleasure, it may be time to clean up your Spotify profile.

You, alone in your home, after work.

In addition to your most played songs, Tinder will also allow you to post your personal "anthem" to your profile, so choose wisely.

*Sets anthem to "Careless Whisper" by George Michael*

Tinder and Spotify are also expanding their relationship by creating Tinder-themed playlists such as: "pre-swipe," "discovery," "match," "love at first swipe" and "date night." They should also make "stood up," "you don't like your picture" and "I'll settle for anything at this point" playlists.

Music is definitely a way to connect with someone new, but if you have questionable taste in music, it may not be the best thing to lead with. Or, I don't know, just really lean in and own it.


Designer introduces bejeweled Crocs at London Fashion Week, fans recoil in horror.

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When you think Fashion Week, you think high fashion, maybe you think uncomfortable clothes, but Crocs? Designer Christopher Kane made the latter a reality, leaving everyone thinking, "WTF?!"

Kane does Crocs. Will you wear them ? #christopherkane #crocs #dedicatedfollower #keepitchic #lfw #ss17

A photo posted by Lisa Armstrong (@misslisaarmstrong) on

The Scottish designer attempted to make the Crocs look fancy by bejeweling them, but like, no. Just no, no, no...

Bet their feet were super sweaty.

Twitter, naturally, threw all the shade.

But... at least they're good for your back?

Yeah, you're right. Nothing will make this OK.

Eggo is recalling waffles and the internet is worried for Eleven from 'Stranger Things.'

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Kellogg Co. is recalling 10,000 cases of Eggo Nutri-Grain Whole Wheat Waffles in 25 states because they could be contaminated with listeria bacteria. Listeria can cause serious infections in infants, the frail, and the elderly. But what about little girls with supernatural powers?!

We trusted you!

We get it, Stranger Things is just a show, Eleven is just a character, yadda yadda yadda. But we're human beings with feelings, and we're genuinely concerned with how she's going to react to the Eggo waffle recall because her emotions are, well, scary AF.

I'll just leave this here. #eggo #eggorecall #strangerthings #eleven

A photo posted by Jenaro Pagan (@realms_of_nowhere) on

Along with the rest of the internet, we're keeping Eleven in our thoughts and prayers during this most difficult time.

Kendall Jenner pisses off ballerinas with flouncy dance video.

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Kendall Jenner offended professional dancers with her mediocre dance moves in a recent ballet-themed video for Vogue España. Geez, people will truly find any reason at all to hate Kendall Jenner.

Professional dancers who have trained their whole lives in ballet are not thrilled to see the 20-year-old model and reality star slip on point shoes and bounce around a dance studio in a tutu like it's all some kind of JOKE. After all, they endure grueling rehearsals, years of wear and tear on their bodies from training, and a lifetime of calluses. Kendall probably has perfectly manicured feet and doesn't even know what a callus is.

Even Dance Moms star Abby Lee Miller gave her two cents when it came to Kendall's video.

Oop! #DanceMoms coach #AbbyLeeMiller is not here for #KendallJenner's new shoot 😩 #KrisJenner

A photo posted by The Shade Room (@theshaderoom) on

Dancers argued that if Vogue wanted to do a ballet-related shoot, they should have hired ballet dancers to do it, and that having an untrained dancer assuming the role of a ballerina is an insult to the craft. On the other hand, she was just doing what she was told. Besides, it's not like Jenner markets herself as a dancer. Nothing proves that more than her awkwardly gripping the ballet barre while struggling to stand en pointe.

Well, she's no Mila Kunis in Black Swan.

Angelina Jolie may have filed divorce from Brad Pitt over a woman named Mary Jane.

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The latest rumor in the unfolding Angelina Jolie/Brad Pitt divorce is that the cause is not Pitt's alleged affair with his Allied costar Marion Cotillard, it's Pitt's alleged drug use.

According to TMZ's sources, Jolie got "fed up" with Brad smoking pot (and maybe drinking), as the drug use combined with what she's apparently calling "an anger problem" that led to a situation she felt was unsafe for their kids.

The sources tell TMZ it's not about another woman, it's just a matter of how Pitt was parenting the children. Jolie's entertainment attorney, Robert Offer, told TMZ that she decided to file for divorce "for the health of the family."

TMZ even got ahold of the actual divorce papers (how??), which the truly morbidly curious can see here.

Jolie's manager, Geyer Kosinski, also gave an exclusive statement to E! News, which simply said, "Angelina will always do what's in the best interest of taking care of her family. She appreciates everyone's understanding of their need for privacy at this time."

Offer added, She "will not be commenting, and asks that the family be given its privacy at this time."

Pitt, for his part, made the following statement to People: "I am very saddened by this, but what matters most now is the well-being of our kids. I kindly ask the press to give them the space they deserve during this challenging time."

Actor Jon Voight, star of Ray Donovan and father of Angelina Jolie, told Inside Edition: "It’s very sad. Something very serious must have happened for Angie to make a decision like this.... I don’t know what it is. It’s a sad thing. Say a little prayer."

He added, "I am concerned for Angie and the children and hopefully I will be seeing them very soon."

Hopefully Voight doesn't hold his breath on that—he and his daughter are believed to have an especially strained relationship.

So statements have been made, rumors circulated, and private documents uncovered. What a day for Jolie and Pitt.

Mom shares shocking photo to explain why you should think before kissing a baby.

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This is Portsmouth mom Amy Stinton and her infant Oliver.

Cheek to cheek only if you MUST.

Oliver was a healthy baby until he was kissed by someone with an open cold sore. Everyone loves to kiss babies, but once you see this picture posted after Oliver contracted herpes, you'll want to keep your lips to yourself.

This is what happens 2 babies when been in contact with a coldsore. Oliver now has the herpes virus and will have this for life. Think before you kiss a baby next time.

Haven't we learned our lesson about kissing babies when we have cold sores? It was only a year ago we saw the same thing happen baby Brook, and it almost killed her. Herpes can be fatal to an infant under three months old.

And now that it's election season, there's never been a better time to get the message out. You hear this, presidential candidates? I know you love to kiss babies for the publicity, but think about the children. I'm looking at you, Bill.

Enjoy this cringe-tastic video of best friends kissing each other for the first time.

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Best friends are usually cool with sharing everything together—clothes, secrets, fries (if they're especially close)—but one thing best friends don't normally swap is spit. If the mere thought of frenching your BFF makes you squirm, check out the incredible cringey-ness of these three pairs of real-life besties actually doing it.

Oh God it hurts to watch so much.

The things people will endure for an internet video. There has not been a kiss this awkward since Drake tried to kiss Rihanna at the VMAs.

It would seem that none of these best friends saw sparks fly while smooching, so if they can stand the memories of the awkwardness of kissing each other, they should just be able to go back to being friends. Maybe it will even bring them closer together.

Never. Again.

Article 32


5 awful sex moves men learned from watching too much porn.

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Everyone wants a lover who can spice things up in the bedroom from time to time. But if your partner's been watching too much porn, he might get the wrong idea about what's actually pleasurable.

Why? Because porn stars are performers and everything that happens onscreen is acting. It could seem encouraging when an adult actress screams "Oh, Rodney!" on your laptop, but if a man tries that move IRL, he may well be exiled from the bed forever.

Here are some moves that might seem sexy to pornoisseurs, but fail miserably with living, breathing women.

1. Jackhammering

https://media.giphy.com/media/l41lQ2V6TmvfDJYBO/giphy.gif

While porn stars respond enthusiastically to this kind of heavy pounding, it’s pretty much a disaster in the bedroom.

You might feel like you’re a big strong lover, but all we see is mindless, maniacal plugging. Please, chill. In real life, women need you to build up to this level of thrusting. And some don’t want to be pounded at all. If you dive right in… we won’t like it.

2. Rapid nipple-licking

First off, you look like a lizard. Flicking your tongue is not a good look. Us women want to feel like we are being made love to, not like we fell inside a reptile tank.

Nipples are super sensitive, and most women will want you to pay attention to them. Just ... not like that.

3. Motor-boating

There are few things more unappealing than a grown man smashing himself against bare breasts like he just got pied in the face. Much like our nipples, breasts want to be touched. But handle them with care, please.

4. Cheesy dirty talk

Whispering sexy somethings can get your lover hot. But the words used in porn are usually impersonal and crude. They might make your lover laugh, but they won’t get her in the mood. If you want to talk dirty in bed, we humbly suggest you get a green light on the verbiage first.

5. Unannounced ejaculations

In most mainstream porn, the cum shot is an epic achievement. Behind closed doors, your unannounced climax looks less like a dazzling fountain show and more like, well, a surprise sliming.

Always ask first, and be prepared that the answer might be a big ol' no thanks.

In conclusion, gentlemen, we applaud your efforts to keep us pleased. However please, please, please stop trying to mimic your favorite porn stars. Continue to be a supporter of the erotic arts—but if you want to know what a woman wants in bed, just ask.

Article 30

The Brangelina breakup: Who's really to blame? A Someecards investigation.

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The world is reeling from the bombshell announcement that Angelina Jolie has filed for divorce from Brad Pitt, dissolving the Brangelina alliance that has stood strong for 12 years. But who is really to blame for this catastrophe? As Someecards' top speculator, I resolved to find out. Here are the prime suspects:

Suspect #1: Brad Pitt

Only a guilty man wears sunglasses.

At first glance, Tyler Durden is the obvious suspect. Reports are claiming that Jolie decided to divorce him after her private eye discovered he was cheating on her with French seductress Marion Cotillard, but isn't that a little too obvious? Hollywood couples cheat all the time—they're just too attractive to adhere to the common rules of fidelity that us uggos live by.


Suspect #2: Angelina Jolie

Maybe she's been getting her Jolies with someone else.

Could Jolie have been cheating too? There's no evidence of this, but that won't stop me from speculating wildly like a real journalist. Maybe she met some hot idealistic young volunteer while doing charity work for refugees abroad, and then they started a torrid love affair. Even if it's not true, that would make great fan fiction.


Suspect #3: The Kids

We're too classy to use a real photo, so enjoy this artist's interpretation of their silhouettes prancing in a field.

We can dismiss this theory outright. Kids are never to blame for their parents' divorce, and the six young Jolie-Pitts are no exception. Besides, they're too busy plotting their world domination to pull a stunt like this.


Suspect #4: The Parents

Voight is always scheming.

Now here's a theory with some legs. Pitt comes from a conservative Missouri family, while Jolie's famous father Jon Voight is a right-wing icon. Could the two families have conspired to break up Brangelina just because their marriage had become the most powerful liberal brand in history? The very idea seems absurd—or would have, before this election.


Suspect #5: The Exes

Four people who haven't aged in 15 years.

Both Pitt and Jolie were in other high-profile celebrity marriages before getting together. Pitt spent five years married to America's Wife Jennifer Aniston, while Jolie was married to Slingblade hottie Billy Bob Thornton for three years (during which time they wore vials of each other's blood around their necks, like you do). Could Aniston and Thornton be behind the Brangelina split? Both of those stars are currently happily married, but perhaps they grew jealous of their exes' drama-free marriage and sought to drag them back into the tabloid muck they couldn't escape in the Aughts.


Suspect #6: Me

I'M SORRY!!!

Damn it, I can't hide behind my wild speculation anymore! It's my fault! I've known it all along. I just didn't BELIEVE enough! I'm sorry, Angelina! I'm sorry, sweet sweet Brad! I didn't deserve you, and now the entire world has to suffer.

Article 28

Hailey Baldwin is being sued for stealing a quote to weigh in on the Bieber/Gomez feud.

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Ever since Melania Trump Made Plagiarism Great Again, there seems to be a celebrity stealing scandal every couple of days. Donald Trump Jr. stole a picture from a former refugee to create an anti-refugee meme, and now Hailey Baldwin is being sued for the Instagram post she made to comment on a celebrity feud.

Page Sixis reporting that Baldwin, a model and the niece of Alec (or the "daughter of Stephen Baldwin" if you're being technical) is being threatened with legal action by an author after she allegedly stole these words of wisdom.

Baldwin posted this in the midst of the great Justin Bieber-Selena Gomez Instagram War of 2016 that resulted in Bieber deleting his 'gram after people started trolling pictures of him and Sofia Richie (daughter of Lionel).

Unfortunately for Baldwin, writer Melissa Molomo, also known as Miss Say What's Real, actually wrote the above quote. Molomo posts such inspirational paragraphs for a living, and sent Baldwin a cease and desist letter for stealing her words.

💪🏽💪🏾💪🏼💪🏿💪🏻

A photo posted by Quotes (@misssaywhatsreal) on

“In copying and using Ms. Molomo’s work without permission, you have taken credit and caused confusion as to whom the original author of this work is,” Molomo's lawyer, Zoltan Stein, wrote in the letter.

Sorry to disappoint the people who thought the model had these insights on her own.

Dr. Pimple Popper deserves a medal for yanking this huge stubborn lipoma out of a dude's back.

Kanye gave Kim a 15-carat diamond engagement ring to go with the one he gave her when they actually got engaged.

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Celebrities are literally freakish aliens, as proven by the news that Kanye West spent about $8 million on an engagement ring for his wife Kim Kardashian-West even though they are already married. The engagement ring is a close match for Kardashian-West's existing engagement ring. Can you even imagine a less satisfying way to spend your money?

A reminder that diamonds aren't even, like, rare or anything.


Author of 'Playing Dead' creates handy flowchart to help you decide whether to fake your own death. (Hint: No.)

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Elizabeth Greenwood, author of Playing Dead: A Journey Through The World Of Death Fraud, recently created this flowchart of whether you should try and fake your own death for the insurance money (or just to disappear). Spoiler alert: the answer is almost always no. In a viral LinkedIn post, Greenwood also shares some of the most interesting things she learned from insurance investigators and others who look into mysterious disappearances and fraudulent deaths.

The biggest takeaway? People usually try to fake drownings, but most real drownings result in a floating body. If you really want to vanish, insurance investigator Steve Rambam told Greenwood, "People disappear hiking all the time, legitimately. That’s a great way to disappear."

Check out Greenwood's full post to read more fascinating tidbits about how death fraud gets caught (don't Google yourself after you "die"!) or pick up her book.

Article 23

Dear Straight People, here's what's been going on since gay marriage happened and Trump distracted you.

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Dear Straight People,

Hey, it’s your gay best friend! I just wanted to fill you in on a couple things that have happened to the gay community since the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage. I know it’s sometimes hard to notice, what with Trump out there trying to “Make America Straight & White Great Again,” so I’ll do my best to fill you in.

First, “gay weddings” are now just called “weddings.” Just two people publicly declaring their love and commitment to one-another. That’s it, no need to make it distinct from any other weddings.

Speaking of weddings, when us gay folk get married, nobody is the “wife” or the “husband,” because we’re both the same gender. Which means we’re both the “wife” and/or the “husband,” because we don’t have to be locked up in the patriarchal prison your community is stuck in (unless you like it in there, in which case, hey, live your straight dreams).

Here's some big news that somehow got overlooked: Did you know there’s a pill that effectively blocks the HIV virus? It’s true! It’s called Truvada, and it’s a new preventative measure that has dramatically impacted the community of your gay friend (me). It means that maybe I can have sex with a little less fear. Think about that: associating sex with fear because of a disease that could kill you. Truvada is huge, and if you like your gay friend, you should educate yourself on Truvada. More importantly, maybe help us get it to the communities most impacted by the HIV virus, including lower income people of color and women).

Speaking of sex, it’s not OK to ask us whether we’re a bottom or a top sexually. We know what you’re doing, and let me tell you right now, being a bottom is just as masculine as being a top, because again, f*ck your patriarchy.

When you talk about “political correctness,” all I hear is, “I things were the way they used to be when minorities didn’t have the privilege to speak their opinion.” So maybe check your privilege, because millions of folks are finally exercising their Constitutional rights, rights that haven’t always been afforded to us.

Gender, like sexuality, is fluid. There are so many other trans people besides Caitlin Jenner. They’re your co-workers, friends, even the person next to you in the public restroom. Guess what? They’re just trying to live their lives and deserve the same respect you’ve learned to give to your gay friends over many years of struggle. Basically what I'm saying is: shut up and let them pee.

Also, and this isn't exactly new, but telling us the number of gay friends you have doesn’t make us like you any more. Here, listen to this, “I love straight people. I have so many straight friends.” Sounds dumb, right? Of course it does, because they’re friends, so how 'bout they just be friends without categorizing them?

So, yeah. A lot has changed, and we’re pretty grateful that you finally like us. But just because we have marriage rights doesn’t mean we’ve got it all taken care of. In so many states, LGBT people can still be fired, denied housing or even denied hospital visitation rights. So maybe now that you’re more informed about a couple of the new things happening in our lives, you’ll tell your influential straight friends that the way to truly "Make America Great Again" is to support legislation that protects LGBT people, gets Truvada to communities who need it most, and finally start calling “gay weddings” “weddings,” because it's 2016 and we're just trying to live our goddamn lives.

Sincerely,
Your Gay Best Friend

PS,
If you have children, let them grow into the person they're meant to be, not what you think they should be. Because every kid should be able to respond like this on TV.

Feeling violated.

A brief, weird history of Regis Philbin and hip hop.

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Hip hop was invented in the Bronx 42 years after Regis Philbin was born there in 1931. Yet it took nearly 73 years in the life of Regis before his biggest hip hop moment: The Shout Out from Kanye in "Jesus Walks" (skip to 2:54).

The way Kathy Lee needed Regis/that’s the way I need Jesus/ So here goes my single dog!/radio needs this/They say you can rap about anything except for Jesus!

Yes, the biggest line on the biggest track on Kanye’s first breakthrough album... was an ode to Regis. If you can't rap about Jesus, you can definitely rap about Regis.

Four years before "Jesus Walks," the author of the hip hop bible, Nas, rapped on "Oochie Wally (Remix)." Skip to the 50 second mark for the glory.

Oh you ain’t know how many O’s in the bankroll/ Sort of like the game show, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?/ But my name ain’t Regis/Nas the one they call when they want their thing beat up.

Gross, but okay. Regis rhymes with fun things and sounds unique. Of course Regis got The Shout Out. Who cares? Is this the end of the brief history of Regis and hip hop?

No. Unfortunately, it is not.

Bootygate

The above tweet is Nicki Minaj's response to Regis Philbin slapping her butt on live TV just 10 days after the debut of her breakout album, Pink Friday. We wanted you to read her response first to prepare you for the video of the actual incident. This clip requires some sort of warning. Consider yourself warned. Skip to 1:40 for the shame:

For context, Nicki Minaj had stopped by the Regis as well as Kelly Show to promote the album that would make her the second-highest selling female hip hop act of all time. She was on top of the world, and all that meant to Regis was a good angle to slap her butt.

Don't avoid the reality here: Nicki Minaj was sexually harassed by Regis Philbin. The road to the top is paved with the pervy hands of the gentile Billy Crystal.

This should have tarnished Regis forever, and a wall between Regis and hip hop, women, and TV cameras should have been erected immediately. It was not.

Crowd Goes Wild

Three years after slapping Nicki Minaj's butt, there was Regis again, on Fox Sports 1's ill-fated Crowd Goes Wild. He made headlines when two members of the Wu Tang Clan dubbed him “the new ODB,” which is not as much offensive to the memory of ODB as it is offensive to the legacy of hip hop.

"But the truth is, when I really want to let off some steam, I get in my car, I turn on the 8-track, I put on a little Wu Tang," says Regis/the new ODB, before introducing Raekwon as Kay-Won to audible groans from the studio.

Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to Kay-Won, and Ghostface Killa!

Clearly, Regis had been thrust into a world he didn't fully understand. "I can never get these names right," he says with dismay. But he’s a showman. An entertainer. A Regis. And Regis wants to be a millionaire. So he adapts.

In another Crowd Goes Wild clip, this time with Ice Cube, he dons a chain that an intern bought at Party City. He grabs the microphone. He. Does. This.

As of press time, Fox has presciently blocked this clip from being embedded on our website, but even if we could, we would not post the video of Regis Philbin rapping. You've already watched Bootygate; you've suffered enough.

Just trust us, it's bad. Not as bad as replacing the "N" in NWA with "Regis" (the segment was called "R.W.A.: Regis With Attitude"), but bad.

If you have a gross taste in your mouth, here, have a screenshot of Regis having fun with the Fresh Prince.

And here, have a clip of Regis hanging out with Snoop Dogg.

This could have been Regis's hip hop legacy: a fun, light intersection of pop culture. A tiny old man getting props from Kanye. But it seems that, in the course of the Shout Out, some of Kanye's hubris transferred into the tiny body of Regis. His enthusiasm got the best of him. In the words of Regis:

You know there are two things all hip hop fans know about. Number 1: Regis is down with the Wu. Number 2: Ice Cube and I always prefer to roll into the club TOGETHER.

Regis. Regis, no.

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