Some people just feel better buying the more expensive versions of things, but if you're not afraid of saving some money, here are 13 cheap versions of products people on reddit swear are just as good as their expensive counterparts.

1. a_great_thinker will never pay for expensively named cereal again.

2. student12543 points out that the wage gap isn't the only way society skims money away from women.

3. tivofanatico has a way to stick it to the late Steve Jobs.

4. tigerinhouston never spend more than a couple bucks on food that can be made in a truck.

5. Space_cat1776 will teach you how to be a basic bitch for less-than-basic prices.

6. ItMightBeTru3 doesn't believe in paying for bottles.

7. Hogwarts9876 has a great tip if you don't mind paying for the flight to Australia.

8. UnsuccessfulAtLife has a hot tip for anyone who is still trying to impress someone from the '80s.

9. OfficerBrando has you and your food covered.

10. Original_Jeballa has a tech tip for pretty much everyone who isn't stuck in the 90s.

11. enginerd808 knows Grey Goose's dirty little secret.

12. no_talent_ass_clown has a charming story about the value of time.

13. And finally, theres iBendUove, who clearly has no idea how expensive it is to keep a girlfriend.

We get it, you're far too busy and important to read all of the news, so here's a quick and dirty run-down of today's top stories. In less than 5 minutes, you can learn everything you need to know for Wednesday September 28th, 2016.

1. A driver in Oregon got a $136 ticket for using a cardboard cutout of Donald Trump's head to ride in the carpool lane.

2. The Pepe the Frog meme has been designated a hate symbol by the Anti-Defamation League.

3. The computer hacker who stole nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton pled guilty today.

4. A spokesman for the White House called the 9/11 bill veto override"the single most embarrassing thing the Senate has done since 1983."

5. The World Health Organization released a report saying 92% of the world breathes polluted air.

6. SpaceX's Elon Musk revealed his plan to put humans on Mars.

7. Former presidential candidate Howard Dean is under fire for suggesting Donald Trump's sniffling at the debate could be due to cocaine use.

Over the weekend, CTV Winnipeg News Anchor Maralee Caruso tried—and failed spectacularly—to keep it together while covering the story of a man who lived as a goat for three days in the Alps. After much struggle, she gives in and just surrenders fully to the giggle fit. If you can watch this and not at least crack a smile, I'm worried about you.

Caruso was presenting a story about Thomas Thwaites, a British designer who recently won an Ig Noble Prize for a project that involved him spending three days wearing prosthetic legs and co-habitating with a herd of mountain goats in Switzerland.

I'm just impressed she was able to compose herself for as long as she did. It's not until the guy starts eating grass that she really loses it—which is the response a grown man eating grass on all fours should elicit. If you don't laugh at this, you might be jaded, uptight or a goat.

James Corden, host of The Late Late Show, got his staff and actor Owen Wilson to all challenge Usain Bolt—Jamaican track star and the fastest man in the world—to a 100 meter race. No spoilers about who wins, but, again, one of those people is the fastest man in the world.

Bolt is freakin' merciless, but he's damn lucky that Owen Wilson was getting over a cold!

Now that Playboy has officially stopped showing naked bodies, they're swinging the other direction by featuring their first Muslim woman wearing a hijab. Is Playboy becoming a feminist magazine?

It seems counterintuitive for a woman who wears a headscarf for modesty to be appearing in the same publication Pamela Anderson famously asked her children's permission to appear in. But, despite her obvious beauty, 22-year-old Noor Tagouri is actually in the men's magazine as part of their "Renegades of 2016" series, which includes "men and women [who] will change how you think about business, music, porn, comedy, gaming and more."

In her feature, Playboy shines a light on Tagouri's work as journalist and activist, giving her the platform to discuss her new job as a reporter for Newsy. This makes her not just the first woman wearing a hijab to appear in Playboy, but also the first to work as a news anchor.

While the current distrust of Muslims in this country would indicate a difficult path as a journalist, the 2015 TedX speaker believes her hijab makes her more trustworthy to her subjects.

To be honest, I think being a hijabi Muslim woman, helped me gain that trust. I know what it’s like to have the narrative of our community be skewed and exploited in the media. I was like, “Hey, I know what it’s like to be misrepresented in the media.

If a woman who is used to being misrepresented in the media can trust Playboy, it won't be long before we're seeing critical feministic analysis on Brazzers.

This super cute video of a toddler helping his dad propose to his mom at his second birthday party is deservedly going viral. The li'l guy unwraps a present that has a ring box inside it, and hands it over to his dad, Joshua Womble, right away—who then gets down on one knee to propose to his girlfriend. According to BuzzFeed, the couple has been together for three years.

(The sound cut out on original tweet, which is here; it received over 10,000 retweets.)

His girlfriend, Sade Robinson, said yes, of course. She apparently was touched that their son got to play a part in the proposal.

“It made it so much more special,” she told BuzzFeed. “That was the part that made me cry.” Yeah, us too.

Last weekend, Jamie Barnes returnedto her house in South Memphis, Tennessee to find that not only had her house been broken into, but that the burglars had decided to stop for a quickie on her couch, Huffington Post reports. How rude!

As if breaking in and then third wheeling her wasn't bad enough, the burgling couple (burgle buddies? burgle-lovers?) also ransacked the house. “It’s horrible in there. It’s absolutely horrible in there. It’s like they just had a big old nasty party,” Barnes told WREG TV. “Walk in and they’re having sex on my couch. I pick up my broom, I wanted to hit that man so bad.”

Instead, Barnes chased the man out of the house, while he kept saying, “I don’t know nothing!” over and over (maybe he meant he "don't know nothing" about how to burgle, because you should always leave the house right after, not stop to have sex). He is still at large.

The female burgle-lover wasn't so lucky (typical!). She stayed behind and apparently she tried to cover up by putting on one of the victim's dresses. “She tried to grab one of my dresses and put it on and I snatched it from her ― ‘What are you trying to do?’” said Barnes.

According to the police department, jewelry, appliances, shoes and clothing were reported stolen from her house. Barnes is apparently also looking for a new home, which makes sense. Probably a new couch, too.

Remember that "prankster" who attacked a terrified Gigi Hadid out of the blue last week? He's back in the news again, and this time Vitalii Sediuk "pranked" Kim Kardashian. Did I say pranked? I meant molested. Vitalii Sediuk molested Kim Kardashian, a woman he does not know personally, by walking up to her on the street and literally kissing her on her ass. Forget your feelings about Kim Kardashian for a moment. Imagine this guy did that to you, or your daughter, or your mom. Then imagine he was this f*cking proud of it afterward:

The caption reads:

I was protesting Kim for using fake butt implants. I encourage her and the rest of Kardashian clan to popularise natural beauty among teenage girls who follow and defend them blindly.
P.s. I was sitting there outside the posh restaurant to use free wifi and eating my ice-cream. When all of a sudden, the pack of paparazzi came out and the car with Kim Kardashian. I swear I didn't know she was going to be there. So I had to come out with an idea very fast. Does it mean if I don't go to celebrities, they come to me? Lol
Have a nice evening everybody! I have to finish my ice-cream..
Photo credit: Goffphotos
#kimkardashian

Luckily, Kardashian's bodyguard quickly separated Sediuk from the reality show star. Kim K tweeted her thanks:

Luckily, she isn't dwelling on this total violation too much, though you could hardly blame her if she did:

Tyra Banks had an über good time in her Lyft when her driver was blasting showtunes and taking requests. Like millions of Americans do every day in their cars and showers, the duo decided to belt out Hamilton tunes to teach the neighborhood about history.

Banks retweeted the video with this extra context.

Banks is such a pro, she whipped out her phone to improve the lighting.

Lin-Manuel himself approves.

It's undoubtedly the best Lin-Manuel Miranda carpool karaoke since Lin-Manuel Miranda was on Carpool Karaoke.

And Banks's best musical performance since the iconic number "Be A Star" from Life Size.

Tyra's great, no matter where she goes.

A man filmed himself flushing a toilet filled with liquid mercury instead of water. The result? A video I willingly spent 14 minutes of my free time watching last night. It's surprisingly cool and educational—despite being liquid, mercury is so dense that solid lead floats on top of it! Also, 240 pounds of mercury takes up a terrifyingly small amount of space.

Plus, you can watch and be terrified that this guy is in the process of poisoning himself for the sake of a viral YouTube video!

If you've spotted a few similarities between Donald Trump and 30 Rock's Jack Doneghy (no offense, Jack!) over the past 18 months, so has Saturday Night Live. The show has decided to bring in Alec Baldwin to play Trump this season. Because not just anyone can play a bigoted, egomaniacal Oompa Loompa. That takes range.

Baldwin (who has hosted SNL a whopping 16 times) will play the Republican Presidential candidate across from Kate McKinnon, SNL's resident Hillary Clinton. Not only that, but this new promo for the season premier on October 1st promises a debate between the two.

Fine, I'll watch. But mostly because of Kate McKinnon.

Last season, Trump was played first by Taran Killan, who was then replaced by Darryl Hammond. Former SNL cast member Hammond has been playing Trump since back when was just a goofy business man and not a threat to national security. Remember that? Sigh.

Why are children's TV show theme songs almost universally annoying as hell? Is it so parents will be discouraged from letting their kids watch TV all day? If so, it's not working. TV is awesome! Almost as heroic as the parents who put up with these 11 extremely irritating tunes over and over.

11. Thomas & Friends

Let's ease into this list with the grating voices of a dozen English schoolchildren. Why are the trains being counted by twos when they can only go down the track one at a time? Also, all the emphasis on them being a "really useful crew" is downright creepy. Isn't there more to life than work? Not on Sodor, apparently.

10. ​Teletubbies

This one's going to be divisive—either you love the Teletubbies or you don't. But we can all agree that they're living in a dystopian nightmare, and that the voice repeating "Time for Teletubbies, time for Teletubbies" from a dozen moving speakers is definitely evil.

9. Pinwheel

You may be familiar with Pinwheel (1977-1990) if your parents couldn't afford Sesame Street. Even the children singing this theme song sound sick of it already.

8. Lamp Chop's Play-Along

"The Song That Never Ends" was the closing theme for Lamb Chop's Play-Along, but you may also know it from every car trip you've ever taken with a child. It's as close as a song can get to a nightmare.

7. Power Rangers

Go go Power Rangers! Far far away from here.

6.​ SpongeBob SquarePants

Another divisive one, but if you listen to it one time and don't have it stuck in your head for the next dozen years, you're a medical marvel.

5. Pokémon

Good lord, this song is more irritating than sand in your eye. It's almost as if the creators knew they'd need the song to remain embedded in the human subconscious for 20 years until the technology developed to create Pokémon Go.

4. Dora The Explorer

Listen Dora, it's okay to include words other than the name of your show in your show's theme song! Also, please stop yelling everything.

3. Zoom

The fact that I made you listen to this song is proof that the Milgram Experiment holds up.

2. Barney

"How dare you?" you say. "It's Barney!" But imagine a world where this song didn't exist, and we didn't have to sing it to our children over and over again, our heads bobbing from side-to-side like so many deranged chimpanzees, demanding the person we love say it back just say it back won't you. It would be a better place.

And the #1 most annoying children's TV show theme song is...

1. Caillou

It's not bad enough that Caillou has the most grating voice/personality of any cartoon character ever? He also has to screech out this pile of barf at the beginning of every episode? And my kid has to absolutely love it?

It's a cruel, cruel world.

On September 28 at 4:32 p.m., Kim Kardashian West found herself feelin' kinda Paris, so she tweeted a picture of herself topless, wearing a pair of high-waisted, big-diamond fishnet stockings under a pair of jeans, her boobs safely anchored into their hand bra.

Kim's picture was accompanied by the words "Parisian vibes," which is French for, "me, not quite naked."

Her lady humps were playing hide and seek a lot during Paris' fashion week, as evidenced by this picture of her in a very sheer shirt.

So what will winter's topless Kim K photo look be? Perhaps a pair of suede hot pants and a fur belt. Whatever it is, one thing's certain—her breasts will be supported lovingly by her own hands or an always-fashionable black censor bar.

While discussing news that a secondary school in Essex, England had outlawed homework in order to cut down on the time teachers spend assigning and grading it, a panelist on Australia's Today program made what seemed like an ill-thought-out, off-the-cuff comment. Said Phoebe Burgess:

I'm actually old school education. I think that there is a place for homework, in terms of you know discipline, work ethic, cementing what they've learned for the day, independent learning. And my little sister's a Latin teacher, and so much of the work she brings home to do at night... I think it's plain lazy to say you don't have time. You clock off at 3 p.m. You do have time.

Burgess's co-hosts began a chorus of "ooo" after she "threw down" with teachers, but commenters weren't taking the slight lightly.

I'm not sure who the smiling lady is but I invite her to come and spend a week as a shadow teacher with me. Be part of the process that makes teaching wonderful but also what makes it an incredibly difficult job some days. It involves - classroom teaching, meeting, planning, cross marking, marking, parenting, councillor, mediator, dealing with parents, coach and the many hats that I get to wear in a day. Your ignorance and lack of respect for teachers is incredibly disappointing and through education maybe you can learn if your going to share your opinion at least it can be a reflection of a

Anyone who knows a teacher—who wakes up at 5 a.m., plans lessons late into the night and still can't pay off her student loans—will commiserate with the fury in the comments section of Today's apparently deleted Facebook post featuring the segment (which you can watch here).

Sick of people thinking we clock off at 3pm. Instead of striking, let's do the hours they think we do and only work 9-3pm. Let them see the quality of our lessons when we have no prep or marking time or communication with the other teachers as we are in a classroom. See what they say about their kids education then!

Burgess eventually responded to the controversy, in the comments section on the following Instagram post.

When a "big supporter" of Burgess's wrote of her disappointment to hear her comments on teaching, Burgess responded:

Agreed @dndsydneypoor expression to make my pro-homework point. Bucket loads of respect for your profession. Xx

She gets partial credit.

A Twitter user called "uncle jessy," a student at Penn State, happened to find that her roommate had been writing spiteful tweets about her.

So she decided the best revenge would be to print them out, decorate them with hearts, and hang them on a public bulletin board in their dorm.

Her roommate's tweets include such poetic gems as "I'm da allergic to my roommate" and "My roommate situation is a horror story. And if you don't believe me ask Britt."

I wasn't sure I believed her, so I did ask Britt*, and you know what? Britt wants no part of this nonsense. [*not actually true]

Jessy's picture of the bulletin board festooned with her roommate's petty tweets has been liked 300,000 times since she tweeted it on Tuesday, because lolololololol.

On top of that, her narc roommate (who we'll refer to here as "N") allegedly called the cops on Jessy for smoking weed.

The dorm's RA also contacted Jessy, saying in a message "Hey I heard you printed those tweets out and posted them on the wall. Can we stay neutral until we all speak please? I'm going to tell [N] the same thing right now."

Oh poor, sweet RA. It's a little late for "neutral."

Jessy also tweeted screengrabs of some texts she and her roommate shared after this fiasco went down, and suffice to say they're probably not going to be best friends.

Side note: pretty wallpaper!

Someone didn't appreciate Jessy's collage, and pulled it down.

LOOKS LIKE IT'S GOING TO BE A GREAT YEAR, EVERYONE!

Statues that look like penises have defined art since the beginning of art, but the latest statue unveiled in London adds the hilarious bonus of being a penis that's supposed to be another body part.

Really Good, a sculpture by David Shrigley that was commissioned by the city, debuted in Trafalgar Square and the patrons of art are giving it a dubious thumbs up.

The disproportionate length of the thumb doing the "thumbs up" is giving Londoners major penis vibes.

Mashable reports that according to the plaque, the long-ass thumb is supposed to send a message other than "Penis!"

Cast in bronze, with the same dark patina as the other statues in the square, the thumb is disproportionately long

Shrigley's ambition is that this simple gesture will become a self-fulfilling prophecy: that things considered 'bad' such as the economy, the weather and society, will benefit from a change of consensus towards positivity.

If you consider what it means, perhaps an erect penis is the ultimate thumbs up.

If anything could unite the people in these horrifying times, it's giggling at a penis.

The internet has been abuzz with rumors that Rob Kardashian and his fianceé Blac Chyna have broken up once and for all (for REAL this time, guys), but the sock designer squelched the separation speculation by posting a couple of Snapchats of Chyna's baby bump.

Rob posted two videos on Wednesday night. In the first one, Rob concentrated the lens on Chyna's bump and said, "move!" The baby didn't move. In the second video, you can kind of sort of see her belly move a bit. But the content of the snaps doesn't really matter—the important thing is that these two are exploiting their unborn child together.

Breakup rumors began when tensions came to a head after the Kardashian/Jenner family threw Rob a baby shower and neglected to invite Chyna. Rob then retaliated by posting his 19-year-old sister Kylie's phone number all over twitter.

An inside source close to the couple toldUs Weeklythat the two have not split, although they are not in a great place. "Filming the show has been a lot of stress on their relationship." They went on to say, "Add to that Chyna's pregnancy and the fact that Rob and his moods go so up and down."

Hopefully these two can keep it together long enough for Rob & Chyna season 2.

You don't have to like your coworkers, but you do have to tolerate them. However, consider yourself lucky that you don't have to tolerate one woman's coworker, who insisted that everyone in the office refer to her boyfriend as her "master." Really.

The strange story was submitted by an anonymous woman to the "Ask a Boss" advice column in New York Magazine.

The weirdness started when "Sally" brought her boyfriend "Peter" to an office Christmas party in 2015 (names have been changed).

Everything there seemed fine as well, although at one point Peter asked Sally to get him a drink, to which she replied “Yes, master!” in a very I Dream of Jeannie kind of way. We all laughed it off as a joke, and it didn’t come up again.

But it did come up again. This time it was at a company BBQ several months later.

At this party, there was a good deal more of Peter ordering Sally around and Sally calling him “master”: He sent her to fetch drinks and hot dogs, he told her to find a place for them to sit, etc., to which she replied consistently with “Yes, master.” It made a number of people, myself included, clearly uncomfortable, but there was nothing objectively abusive about it (he never yelled at her or threatened her), and her immediate supervisor and her supervisor’s supervisor weren’t there, and so no one said anything (perhaps incorrectly?).

Eventually Sally clarified that she is in a "24/7 dominant/submissive relationship" with Peter, and that he is not her boyfriend, but her "master." She then requested that instead of referring to Peter as her partner, everyone refer to to him as her master.

Sally even likened having people call Peter her master to gay rights and trans rights, saying that if she were a man, they wouldn’t erase her relationship by referring to “Peter” as “Patricia,” and so they shouldn’t erase their dominant/submissive relationship by calling him a partner instead of a master.

In short, Sally would like people to say things like, "So how was your master's birthday party yesterday?" and "Are you going to bring your master to the company happy hour tonight?"

Clearly this makes everyone incredibly uncomfortable, and the writer and her coworkers asked Alison Green, the person doles out the advice for New York Magazine's'Ask a Boss' advice column, if they should comply with Sally's demands. You can read her entire response here.