In case you thought Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump seemed awfully interupt-y of his female opponent at the debate on Monday, The Daily Show is here to remind you that Trump has a long history of flirting with sexism; in fact, he once defended a case of statutory rape by noting the rapist was a "hot" woman.
Daily Show host Trevor Noah dissects Trump's sexism going all the way back to 1994. Noah points out Trump's creepiness toward his daughter, his employees, and even his female opponents in the primary and general presidential elections.
While going out for dinner as a family is a treat that often feels like a punishment, a deli in Redditor nabced's neighborhood is making things easier with brutally honest kids' menu. It includes options that your kid might even order by accident, making sure they get their required serving of fries.
Zayn Malik has done what few before him have been able to do: he has pulled off a soul patch. Not only pulled it off—but he has elevated the lower-lip beard into, dare I say, a thing of beauty. The former hottest member of One Direction (he was replaced by a potato) revealed his new look on Instagram on Thursday.
The look works for him—probably because it shows off more of his face. And it is a very, very good face. With or without a teeny-tiny beard on it.
Here is what he looked like before, with a less-tiny beard:
Also a good look for him.
But before you take a razor to 98% of your facial hair, remember that the 23-year-old could pull off pretty much any look—like that time he dyed his hair green and was still gorgeous. Hell, he could probably pull off the Rachel. So just because he can rock a soul patch, that doesn't mean you should try.
Kristian Nairn, who played Hodor, recently Instagrammed this picture of a doorstop presumably found at his mother's house. The photo is captioned with "... Really, Mum??? Et tu, Brute? Hahahaha 😍"
A photo posted by kristiannairn (@kristiannairn) on
Even though that is kind of a cruel joke, it's really very funny. Don't even pretend you're not planning on searching for "Hodor Doorstop" after you finish this article.
Tim Burton's new film Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children has a predominantly white cast, and when the website Bustle asked Burton why, he gave… not the best answer.
Burton said:
Nowadays, people are talking about [diversity] more. [But] things either call for things, or they don’t. I remember back when I was a child watching TheBradyBunch and they started to get all politically correct, like, OK, let’s have an Asian child and a black — I used to get more offended by that than just — I grew up watching blaxploitation movies, right? And I said, that’s great. I didn’t go like, OK, there should be more white people in these movies.
Even assuming that he was going to say "a black child" before cutting himself off and not just "a black," it's strange to me that he thinks there shouldn't be diversity unless the script "calls" for it—that's something rooted in the mindset that white people are neutral and the default race.
Burton's film is set in Great Britain during the 1940s, in which the country was even less diverse than it is today—and even today, it's significantly less diverse than the United States. His film has one major black character, played by Samuel L. Jackson. Perhaps he thought it was unrealistic to include more than one person of color.
But, of course, that isn't what he said, and it's noteworthy that there have been very few nonwhite characters in Burton's films, even in those set in America or in modern day Great Britain. I mean, his movies are so white that Winona Ryder is blonde in one of them, which is a crime against Our Greatest Brunette.
A female teacher boning her underage students is not only gross and wrong, it's illegal. These stories continue to pop over over the years and people continue to be fascinated by them, especially if the teacher is attractive. There's always that guy in the Facebook comments that's like, "Why couldn't I have had a teacher like that?" Get a life, Rob, and be glad you weren't molested.
SMH
Here are five teachers who went to jail for sleeping with their students.
1. Debra Lafave
She said she was "too pretty for jail."
Debra Lafave was a middle school reading teacher when she seduced a 14-year-old male student into oral sex and intercourse. When she was arrested and brought to trial, she and her attorney declared she was too pretty to go to jail. Lafave faced up to 30 years in prison, but because her teenage victim wanted to avoid a trial, she was offered a plea deal. In exchange for pleading guilty to two counts of lewd and lascivious battery, she received three years of community control and seven years of sex-offender probation.
Gym teacher Stacy Schuler was found guilty of having sex with five of her high school students. She allegedly had group sex parties with the boys, and when she got caught, she pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity. Schuler ended up serving one year in prison, and will be on probation for five years. She also must register as a sex offender. This clip from the news gives you an idea of how creepy and jokey coverage of these kinds of stories is:
4. Pamela Smart
Those bangs weren't her only crime.
Back in 1990, Pamela Smart seduced her 15-year-old student, Billy Flynn, but her crimes didn't stop there. Smart allegedly convinced Flynn and his high school buddies to murder her husband Gregory Smart in cold blood. She was sentenced to life in prison for being an accomplice to first degree murder, and Flynn was released on parole after serving 25 years in prison. If this story sounds familiar, it's because Nicole Kidman played her in the movie adaptation, To Die For.
Had the movie been on Lifetime, she would've been played by Tori Spelling.
5. Mary Kay Letourneau
Ew.
The most infamous teacher- student sex scandal is that of sixth grade teacher Mary Kay Letourneau. She had an affair with her 13-year-old student, Vili Fualaau. Her husband found out about the molestation and turned her in to the police. That's where the story got worse: Mary Kay was pregnant with the 13-year-old's baby. She was put in jail for a partial sentence of six months. When she was released, she met up with Vili again and got pregnant with his second child. She went back to jail, and gave birth to her second child there. After getting released in 2004, the couple got married. They are still together, and their children are now teenagers. You can see the updated story in this Barbara Walters interview.
The news is overwhelming. There's too damn much of it! Luckily for those of you with short attention spans, we've combed the internet for everything you should know today, Thursday September 29, 2016.
"It's called being a woman in the industry," Winter told Rogue. "It's complete sexism. It's really degrading, annoying and sad that this is what the media puts out, it's disgusting to me."
She also included a shoutout to Rihanna, another badass woman who knows a thing or two about sexism and fame.
Winter entered the spotlight at age 11 when Modern Family premiered, so she has had some time to develop a thick skin in response to sexism. But she said negative feedback "still bothers" her, just less so than when she started out.
"At this stage, you get sort of jaded after a certain period of time," she said. "I feel like I've been in the industry for so long that I have gotten to that point where people's comments and the exposure doesn't bother me as much."
In spite of everything, the actress seems to have a positive outlook. "I've gone through a whole bunch of things, both in my personal life and my professional life and they've all contributed to where I am now and made me stronger," she said.
If I were sexism in Hollywood I would be so, so, so scared right now. Get 'em Ariel!
A man proposed to his girlfriend via Jumbotron at a Yankees-Red Sox game (the most romantic rivalry in sports!) only to find that once the cameras found him, his ring had gone missing.
It was going so well, too. PA played Frank Sinatra. This dude actually wasn't booed like most dudes proposing here. Then, he loses the ring
His girlfriend did not look happy—she was forced to join the rest of their stadium section in searching for the missing diamond, as the cameras watched the panicked boyfriend and everyone in the seats around him searching for the diamond. Luckily it was a boring game?
The video has a happy ending, so I hope it isn't too mean to say: serves him right for proposing in public at a baseball game.
The news this week was dominated by the presidential debate, viral Bush-Obama pics, and Rob Kardashian. Unwind with jokes about Tinder, healing crystals, kittens using laptops and more, in the top 39 tweets of the week!
1.
Hillary: I will defeat ISIS. Trump: I will pretend to be a moose. The best moose. The greatest moose ever. pic.twitter.com/LXX09jaHVs
So glad I spotted this sign when I did as by that point I'd already got down flat on my back & pushed my mouth right up to that rusty pipe. pic.twitter.com/1DmcR2U4B3
I'm at CVS & just heard a woman say "i'm up at school still" on the phone! SHE LIED! THIS IS THRILLING I KEEP LOOKING AT HER WITH THIS GRIN pic.twitter.com/eAKUsOd1hx
Looks like Alicia Machado's support of Hillary Clinton has really gotten to Donald Trump, who sent out a tweet Friday morning encouraging people to check out her alleged "sex tape."
Did Crooked Hillary help disgusting (check out sex tape and past) Alicia M become a U.S. citizen so she could use her in the debate?
That's one way to ensure women won't vote for you.
Alicia Machado won the Miss Universe pageant 1996 when she was 19-years-old, but shortly after gaining the crown Trump started criticizing her weight. He called her "Miss Piggy" in addition to "Miss Housekeeping," as Clinton pointed out in Monday night's debate, because she is Latina.
But why stop at fat shaming and racism? Trump also wanted to slut shame Machado by bringing up an alleged sex tape. A sex tape that, according to Snopes, doesn't even exist.
Machado also revealed to the New York Timesthat Trump's comments resulted in her subsequent five year battle with anorexia and bulimia.
Trump is supposed to be busy trying to run for president, but if we know one thing about Donny T, he will always take some time out of his day to insult someone on Twitter.
Brit Brit has her eye on another Brit. In an Instagram video captioned "The men in London omg," Britney Spears shared with her 13.3 million fans "her crush in London." The commentary track includes her going, "Very hot! Very hot!" with a British accent.
Kevin Hart (a.k.a. the first person to ever perform comedy for 53,000 fans at a football stadium) hit the gym with Conan O'Brien, where they compared athletic garb and how Conan has "the body of a Dutch woman."
Verbally, this was like a roast at a gym, but physically, Kevin Hart is in so much better shape than Conan it wasn't even a competition. Also, Conan is a little obsessed with his taint.
Just look how small Kevin Hart is, though! He's so little he makes this normal sized water bottle look HUGE, right?
Need to look your best? Follow the beauty advice of an internet-savvy three-year-old. Cheyenne Peralta of Oahu, Hawaii, posted a video of her toddler sister Jordyn doing a makeup tutorial last month, and it went viral this week for being adorable.
Jordyn starts off perfectly by saying "Welcome to my channel!" and "Let's get started!"
Wow, she's already got down 90% of what makes a great makeup tutorial. Then she pretends to apply "this eyelashes thing," which honestly is what I call half the things in my makeup bag.
Give her another year or two and she'll be a YouTube star.
L. Scott Briscoe, attorney at law, has seen some sh*t in the trenches of justice. Throughout his 19 years practicing law in West Virginia, Mr. Briscoe has encountered some of the most hilarious alibis and excuses that border on the unbelievable.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Free Legal Tip of the Day #1
DO NOT post photos of yourself committing crimes A, B, and C. They will become State's Exhibits 1, 2, and 3.
Lucky for you, Briscoe has been graciously sharing these anecdotes for years, and they're just now beginning to go viral. Enjoy, and don't make the same mistakes as these lazy criminals (and also don't commit crimes).
Make new friends.
Free Legal Tip of the Day #2
When using a friend's urine in an attempt to pass a drug screen, drug test your friend first.
Free Legal Tip of the Day #4
Do not ask the victim with a restraining order against you for a ride to court for a hearing to determine whether you have violated your restraining order.
Political pundit and confirmed non-Donald Trump fan Megyn Kelly had Clinton supporter Krystal Ball and spokesman for the leading pro-Trump super PAC Carl Bigbie on her Fox News show to discuss Trump's complete refusal to stop trying to tell women what size their bodies should be. Case in point: former Miss Universe Alicia Machado, who Trump allegedly referred to as "Miss Piggy" when she gained 40 pounds after winning the crown in 1996.
The smart move for Trump would have been to simply apologize, but Trump's not a man given to smart moves. Instead he decided to double down on his stance, saying on Fox & Friends the day after the debate in which Hillary Clinton brought it up that Machado had "gained a massive amount of weight" and "it was a real problem."
Bigbie claimed that he doesn't understand why people are harping on the fact that Donald Trump "called some woman fat 20 years ago." Ball is quite happy to explain to Bigbie why people are talking about it: first, Trump won't shut up about it himself, and second, it matters because it says a lot about who he is as a person. As Ball says,
It's kind of relevant to people whether their future president happens to also be a sexist pig. I think that's kind of an important piece of information that actually a lot of voters might care about.
One question not tackled in their conversation, though, is what exactly a "luxury exercise program" is. Do the participants drink champagne instead of water? Do they wipe their sweat with cashmere towels? Does someone else do all the working out for them entirely?
