This week was all about Donald Trump vs. SNL, Donald Trump vs. sexual assault allegations, and of course, Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton in the third presidential debate. Relax with jokes about Kid Rock, Stranger Things, baby shoes, menacing birds, and more in the top 41 tweets of the week!

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Trump and Clinton took a break from slinging mud at each other to attend the annual Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation​charity dinner in Manhattan on Thursday. The two presidential candidates had the opportunity to make speeches at the charity event that supports the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of New York, and they used those speeches to continue to sling mud at each other. Naturally.

The annual dinner traditionally invites both presidential candidates to make speeches during election years. When it came time for Donald to make his speech, things started out pretty okay. He had a few funny jokes, got a few laughs from the crowd, and for a moment, even appeared human. However, in the later half of his speech, Donald's jabs seemed to get lower and lower, and it spiraled out into a barrage of insults that were, dare I say it, more "nasty" than funny.

Trump was booed throughout the speech for making jokes ("jokes?") about Clinton "hating Catholics," Wikileaks, and, surprise surprise—her emails. Clinton laughed on, perhaps a little too hard, in what may have been an effort to show that she is totally ~chill~ and could take the ribbing like a pro.

To be fair, the speech was written by at least a few writers, and not The Donald himself. It seemed like Trump didn't even read the speech before hand and at times commented on the material by saying things like, "Oh, this one's going to get me in trouble," and "Oof, this is corny stuff." At least he is semi-self aware for once.

You would think that Trump would be on his best behavior in a room full of priests, but this is the guy who picked a fight with the Pope, so of course he wasn't.

Talk about awkward—presidential candidates Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton turned Thursday night's annual Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation charity dinner into a Comedy Central roast. Well, at least they shook hands this time, unlike at the debate.

The two presidential candidates/mortal enemies were seated only one seat apart, which couldn't have been fun for anyone at that table at all.

During his speech, Trump delivered the following "joke."

I wasn't really sure if Hillary was going to be here tonight because, I guess, you didn't send her invitation by email. Or maybe you did, and she just found out about it through the wonder of WikiLeaks. We've learned so much from WikiLeaks. For example, Hillary believes that it is vital to deceive the people by having one public policy and a totally different policy in private.

At that point the audience booed, and Trump responded, "That's OK, I don't know who they're angry at, Hillary, you or I. For example, here she is tonight, in public, pretending not to hate Catholics."

Wow, just when you finally pick your jaw up off the floor after Wednesday night's debate, Trump makes it completely drop again.

Keep in mind that this is not the typical atmosphere for this dinner, which traditionally has been a fairly light-hearted function. Of course, the candidates don't write their own jokes (can you imagine?), and taking swipes at each other is customary, but nothing like this. Former New York city council speaker Christine Quinn told CNN's Anderson Cooper, "I've been to that dinner like six, seven, eight times. I've never heard boos like that. Never."

Hillary got a few in herself, though, during her own speech. For example, she quipped,

Sharing a stage with Donald Trump is like, well, nothing really comes to mind. Donald wanted me drug tested before last night's debate. ... I am so flattered that Donald thought I used some sort of performance enhancer. Now, actually, I did. It's called preparation.

Then she added, "And looking back, I've had to listen to Donald for three full debates, and he says I don't have any stamina!"

I would not have been surprised if someone just broke down and told them to take it outside. Cut to: Hillary removing her earrings and handing them to a girlfriend to hold, and then Trump and Hillary just duking it out in a dark alley, surrounded by a bloodthirsty crowd chanting, "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

Ouch. Well, take heart—only three more weeks until Election Day. And then no matter what else happens, at least these two will finally stop fighting…maybe.

Stephen Colbert might need to flee the country after the election. Or maybe he's just pandering to one side of the country.

Every four years, Americans upset that their candidate didn't win the election promise to seek refuge in "America's safety school," a mythical place of polar bears and Gordon Lightfoot supposedly untouched by American politics.

Canada.

But before you can "turn over a new Maple leaf," first you have to take a citizenship test.

After an uncomfortably long session of compliments for his Canadian immigration lawyer's gorgeous eyes, Colbert begins his test for citizenship.

He should get it on the strength of his Gordon Lightfoot knowledge alone.

Seriously, how does he know all those lyrics?

Legendary chanteuse Cher appeared on The Late Late Show with James Cordenon Thursday to sing an updated version of the classic Sonny & Cher song, "I Got You Babe." The song, changed to "I Got You Bae," featured James Corden and Cher throwing around as much millennial slang as the Late Late Show writers could come up with—including lines about sexting and eggplant emojis. Despite the modernized adaptation, Cher, who is now 70 (!!!?!?!?!?) still looks and sounds as timeless as ever.

Corden, who was supposed to be Sonny but decided to dress as Cher, looked more like Tina Turner in an outrageous wig and sequined outfit. Will this man ever film an episode of a show where he doesn't have to wear a dress or a wig or both?

Cher took to Twitter to react to appearing on the Late Late Show. She seems to have found her segment just as funny as everyone else did.

Hey James? Three words: Cher carpool karaoke. Make it happen. Stat.

It's almost November, and that means it's time for people start coupling up for the long winter months of cold weather and pseudo-hibernation. It's fatty food and TV binge-watching season, bitches. If you don't have a human to cuddle with, you can always start dating your TV—it'll never let you down. Here's what movies and shows you can look forward to in November, as well as the ones you'll want to make sure to catch quick before they're gone.

Available November 1
The African Queen
Alfie
Bob the Builder: White Christmas
Candyman 2: Farewell to the Flesh
The Confessions of Thomas Quick
Cujo
The Doors
The Heartbreak Kid

Jetsons: The Movie
King’s Faith
Love, Now
Norman Lear: Just Another Version of You
Pervert Park
Ravenous
Stephen King’s Thinner
Tales From the Darkside: The Movie
Thomas & Friends: A Very Thomas Christmas
Thomas & Friends: Holiday Express
Thomas & Friends: Merry Winter Wish
Thomas & Friends: The Christmas Engines
Thomas & Friends: Ultimate Christmas

Available November 2
Dough
Food Choices
Meet the Blacks

Available November 4
The Crown, season 1
Dana Carvey: Straight White Male, 60
The Ivory Game
Just Friends
World of Winx, season 1

Available November 9
Danger Mouse, season 2

Available November 11
All Hail King Julien, season 4
Case, season 1
Estocolmo, season 1
Roman Empire: Reign of Blood, season 1
Tales by Light, season 1
True Memoirs of an International Assassin
Under the Sun

Available November 12
Take Me to the River

Available November13
Chalk It Up

Available November 14
Carter High

Available November 15
Dieter Nuhr: Nuhr in Berlin
K-POP Extreme Survival, season 1
Men Go to Battle
The Missing Ingredient: What is the Recipe for Success?

Available November 16
The 100, season 3
Burn After ReadingJackass 3.5: The Unrated Movie
Paddington

Available November 17
Lovesick, season 2
Paranoid, season 1

Available November 18
The Battle of Midway
Beat Bugs, season 2
Colin Quinn: The New York Story
Divines
Prelude to War
San Pietro
Sour Grapes
Thunderbolt
Tunisian Victory
Undercover: How to Operate Behind Enemy Lines
Why We Fight: The Battle of Russia
WWII: Report from the Aleutians

Available November 22
Mercy

Available November 23

Penguins: Spy in the Huddle

Available November 25
3%, season 1
Boyhood
Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life
Michael Che Matters

Available November 29

Silver Skies

Available November 30
Ghost Team
I Dream Too Much
The Jungle Book
Level Up
Traded

Leaving November 1
The Addams Family
Almost Famous
Angel Heart
Barnyard
Bratz: The Movie
The ‘Burbs

Can’t Hardly Wait
Chuck, seasons 1-5
The Core
Deliverance
E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial
Echelon Conspiracy
Eight Crazy Nights
Empire State
Equilibrium
Escape to Witch Mountain
The Family Man
Fatal Attraction
Fresh
Get Rich or Die Tryin’
The Holiday
Into the Wild

Kanagroo Jack
Legally Blonde
Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, & Blonde
Major League
Mansfield Park
Meet Joe Black
Mel Brooks: Make a Noise
Open Season
Open Season 2
Open Season 3
Patton Oswalt: My Weakness Is Strong
Powerpuff Girls, seasons 1-6
Rounders
Scream 2
Sex: My British Job
Shameless, series 1-10
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
Something’s Gotta Give

The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie
Spy Game
The Sum of All Fears
Total Drama World Tour
Underground: The Julian Assange Story
Urban Cowboy
Varsity Blues
What Women Want

November 2
The English Teacher

November 4
Gigli

November 5
The Homesman

November 11
Quartet

November 14
Seal Team 8: Behind Enemy Lines

November 15
Naked Among Wolves

November 16
The American
Let’s Go to Prison

November 22
Tracers

November 23
The Boxtrolls
Scenic Route
Ultimate Spider-Man: Web Warriors

November 24
The Boondocks, seasons 1-4
Chowder, seasons 1-3
Courage the Cowardly Dog, seasons 1-4
Uncle Grandpa, season 1

November 24
Robin Hood

November 30
Stuck in Love
xXx

Thursday morning, Chelsea Clinton stopped byThe Talk(The View exclusively for people in dentists' waiting rooms who find Whoopi too sassy) to talk about the latest campaign development. After giggling about how cool it is that her job these days is just to talk about how much she loves her mom, she respondent to the Donald Trump's nasty slur-turned-feminist rallying cry, "Such a nasty woman."

Sounding like the daughter of two politicians, she was was firstly just concerned that people would miss the point of Social Security.

My first reaction was, ‘Oh my gosh. Oh no, now no one’s going to pay attention to Social Security,’ which is actually a really important conversation and a topic that hasn’t gotten a lot of attention in this election season.

Clinton also talked about SNL, praising Kate McKinnon "warm, unwooden hilarious mush" that her mom is, "particularly with her grandchildren." But as she says, as far of making fun of a presidential candidate goes, it bodes well if you're just making fun of how much they want to be president.

Seventeen days to go.

After tentatively acknowledging his Nobel Prize in Literature, any mention of the honor on Bob Dylan's website has now been removed.

While it's impossible to know if Dylan had any say in this decision, it's left many baffled fans asking the same question they asked when Dylan released his 2009 album Christmas in the Heart.

Bob. Why.

Dylan was the subject of many a baffled news report after the Nobel Prize committee found it impossible to get in touch with the 75-year-old music icon after awarding him the prestigious honor.

"I have called and sent emails to his closest collaborator and received very friendly replies," said Sara Danius, the secretary of The Swedish Academy, which presents the award. "For now, that is certainly enough." She went on to say, "If he doesn't want to come [to the award ceremony in December], he won't come."

Maybe Dylan really wanted the Nobel Prize in Physics (for 50 years of his hair defying gravity), because there has to be some reason he seems to resent this one so very much.

Paula Grzelak-Schultz of Alberta, Canada left her car parked in the lot outside an Original Joe's restaurant on Monday. When she returned the next day, she found a note from the management on her windshield. She cringed when she saw it, expecting to be chewed out by some fastidious middleman. But instead, she found a very heartwarming message. And it came with free wings!

The note reads:

Dear Original Joe's Sherwood Park Guest,

Just wanted to thank you for leaving your car parked overnight. I'm not sure if you had consumed alcohol at our restaurant or not, but we wanted to thank you for not drinking and driving. Enclosed is a voucher good for 1 lb. of our delicious chicken wings. Please accept this as a thank you for being responsible. Life is valuable, have a great weekend.

Grzelak-Schultz shared the letter on Facebook, telling her friends:

When I found the letter on my windshield, I thought I was getting in trouble for leaving my car in front of the entryway to the pub. Wow! I'm so impressed. Definitely going back. Not just because of the voucher, but because of how well this guy treats his patrons.

Her post quickly went viral. It's been liked more than 8,000 times, and shared more than 16,000. Although Original Joe's insists that the note had nothing to do with generating good publicity, that's exactly what it's done. The restaurant even shared a local TV news story about it on its own Facebook page.

If only more businesses would go above and beyond like this to help prevent drunk driving, even if it hurts their bottom line. It's integrity like that that makes Joe such an Original.

Donald Trump—so strong, the strongest, has the best strength—abruptly walked out of an interview with NBC4 in Ohio after reporter Colleen Marshall asked him about being labeled a racist and a sexist.

The candidate, so brave and tough that he will defeat ISIS with his own two tiny hands, just started walking away.

It's been a long and grueling two years since Lady Gaga released a full studio album, but our wait is finally over. Gaga's newest album, Joanne, is officially available for streaming on Spotify.

Gaga has been teasing the much-anticipated Joanne for about a month now. (Who could forget how excited everyone was when she released "Perfect Illusion," her first new single in three years?)

The new album is dedicated to her late aunt, Joanne Germanotta, who was a poet and artist and has been a huge source of inspiration for Gaga. In 2011, she told Billboard that she felt a sense of duty to "finish (Joanne's) business" by becoming a musical artist herself.

You can head on over to Spotify and listen to Joanne in its entirety right now. Happy Friday, little monsters!

Benedict Cumberbatch is going to be a dad. Again!

E! News reports that the Sherlock star's wife, Sophie Hunter, is pregnant with their second child. The couple's first son, Christopher, was born just over a year ago.

And if his famous friends are to be believed, Cumberbatch is definitely great-dad material. Back when Hunter's first pregnancy was announced, Cumberbatch's The Imitation Game co-star, Allen Leech told E! news, "If he puts the same amount of dedication and love into raising his child as he does into his work, he is going to be the greatest dad of all time."

Congrats on Cumberbaby number 2, Benedict and Sophie! Hopefully your children will grow up to be just as adorable and British as you are.

Hooray! On Wednesday, season 9 BacheloretteDesiree Siegfried (nee Hartsock) gave birth to a baby boy with now-husband Chris Siegfried, the man who won her heart and hand (and womb) on the show. She took to Instagram to proudly show off their new lil' dude, Asher Wrigley Seigfried.

The picture shows the baby clasped on to his mama's hand, along with the caption, "He already has us wrapped around his precious little fingers! We are overjoyed to welcome the newest addition to our family, Asher Wrigley Siegfried. Born yesterday, (10/19) happy, healthy and strong!"

According to Us Weekly, Asher clocked in at 8 pounds and 20.5 inches. In a statement to the magazine, the 30-year-old reality TV star said,

Words can't even express the amount of love we feel for our baby boy Asher. He has already brought so much joy into our lives in one day. He's strong, healthy, happy, playful and warm. Chris and I are beyond blessed with this beautiful gift of life that we are excited to have as a part our family.

That's wonderful. The couple definitely seems very in love with wee Asher, which is to be expected, but they should try to remember to take it slow and not give their hearts away too easily. After all, what if the baby decides to pick different parents on season 1 of The Babelor?

Taylor Swift has requested the photographic evidence and detailed documents used in her 2013 groping case be sealed in order to prevent the sensitive material from being leaked to the public.

According toThe Denver Post, Swift worries that public access to the photos and documents proving she was groped by former radio host David Mueller could be shared for "scandalous and prurient interests,” and potentially taint a jury should the case go to trial. The motion seeks to seal photographs, 12 pages of summary judgment and hundreds of pages of supporting documents.

In September 2015, Mueller filed a lawsuit against Swift saying he was falsely accused by a member of her security team of grabbing Swift's butt, and that a colleague of his was actually the one who molested her. He was invited backstage of the Pepsi Center in Denver in 2013 as part of his then-job as a radio for 98.5 radio. He was fired two days after the being accused of sexually assaulting Swift.

If the judge dismisses Mueller's case against Swift, there would be no trial and all the documents Swift is seeking to seal will never become public. Even if the case it thrown out, Mueller still has Swift's infamous squad to worry about.

Even after making her Twitter account private (meaning only people who followed her at the time that she changed the security setting can see her tweets), Chrissy Teigen still can't escape the criticism of the mommy-shaming crowd. On Wednesday, the Twitter account @uVuyoh tweeted a picture of Teigen holding her baby Luna Simone along with the text, "this is not how a baby is held!!!!" The account holder didn't just post the tweet, she tweeted it directly to the 30-year-old model. And to top it off, she included a bunch of the shocked face emojis because apparently she simply couldn't believe her eyes.

In the paparazzi snap, Teigen is shown walking with in front of her husband, producer and performer John Legend, while she holds baby Luna in her arms. It may not look like the most secure of holds to some over-anxious moms, but it's not like she dangled the dang kid off a balcony or anything.

Always one to speak (or tweet) her mind, Teigen replied to the tweet, "really because that's how I'm fucking holding her." Lol. Unshakable logic.

This person was not ready to be shut down, though, replying, "Nothing grinds my tits like a person holding a baby inappropriately! I almost grew up deformed coz i dislocated my arm for 2 days as a baby!"

And a follow up reading, "I dont give a crap where that baby popped out from! Do not hold a baby like a handbag!"

It doesn't look at all like Teigen's carrying the baby like a handbag, though. How the heck are you supposed to hold a baby? By its feet? Its head? ​

To that Teigen replied, "Well you hold your handbag like a fucking idiot then." Once again, point goes to Teigen!

Teigen followed that tweet up with two more, reading, "Let me know how you hold your baby when she’s about [to get] into a stroller and there are 20 camera flashes at night," and "Photos are literally split-second moments in time that evolve. I despise mommy shamers. I am a proud shamer of mommy shamers."

Unwilling to let it go, @uVuyoh tweeted once more, and Teigen kindly requested, "please, do shut up."

Do people not have enough to do in their own lives that they have to tell celebrities how better to do things they clearly already know how to do? Because if so, maybe it's time for a hobby. Or there's always handbag-holding practice.

A sexual health organization is preparing to make three "sexy" pornos, but it's not for pleasure. Well, it's for pleasure. But it's also to promote safe sex.

As part of a larger campaign by Coventry University in England to promote STI screening and condom usage for youth, the "Pleasure Project" is looking for three young (aged 18-25) couples willing to make £200 (about $244) for a three hour film shoot featuring realistic sex with condoms.

Pleasure Project spokesperson, Suzanne Noble, spoke to The Tab about the intentions:

The research we have done to date indicates that young people would prefer to view stylish, yet naturalistic scenarios in which couples are seen having sex while using condoms. So, for instance, we may film a couple having sex in a bedroom that looks like a student house or in a car!

Anyone who's ever typed "stylish, yet naturalistic scenarios + condoms" into an X-rated search bar knows this is exactly what young people want.

But apparently some people aren't so excited.

According to The Telegraph, the chairman of a non-profit called Parents Outloud, Margaret Morrissey, "said students who sign up to appear in the videos risked 'jeopardising' their future careers."

The paper also quotes Chris McGovern, of the Campaign for Real Education, as saying that "All education institutions are expected to look after the sexual welfare of their students but I struggle to understand why Coventry University feels the need to delve into territory like this."

He continued to point out that the internet is already "awash with sex films."

True as that may be, critics and supporters alike should take a deep breath and keep their purely hypothetical pants on.

The videos will only be "viewable via a private link" so the campaign can test the results of their more naturalistic take on filmed boning, and its benefits in promoting safe sex, before even considering whether to go public.

On October 10th, Indigenous People's Day, actress Shailene Woodley was arrested in North Dakota protesting the Dakota Access Pipeline, a 1,172-mile pipeline for crude oil that poses environmental risks and annexes indigenous peoples' land. The Fault in Our Stars star pleaded not guilty to criminal trespassing and engaging in a riot, and wrote in Timeabout her experience and the issue.

She first explains where she was and what she was doing:

I was in North Dakota, standing in solidarity, side-by-side with a group of over 200 water protectors, people who are fighting the Dakota Access Pipeline.

People who carry a rainbow of colors on their skin. People who gathered together because they realize that if we don’t begin taking genuine steps to protect our precious resources—our soil, our water, our essential elements—we will not have a healthy or thriving planet to pass on to future generations.

Woodley then explains how Americans have betrayed the Native population, appropriating their culture when it's fun while ignoring their needs.

We wear their heritage, their sacred totems, as decoration and in fashion trends, failing to honor their culture. Headdresses, feathers, arrows. Moccasins, sage, beadwork. You know what I’m talking about, Coachella. Walking around the flea market this weekend, I can’t even tell you how many native references I saw being used in a way that feeds our western narrative.

She dives into how troubling it is that it took her, a non-Native celebrity, to draw attention to this important issue.

Treaties are broken. Land is stolen. Dams are built. Reservations are flooded. People are displaced.

Yet we fail to notice. We fail to acknowledge. We fail to act.

So much so that it took me, a white non-native woman being arrested on Oct 10th in North Dakota, on Indigenous Peoples’ Day, to bring this cause to many people’s attention. And to the forefront of news publications around the world.

The day I was detained, 26 others had to dress in orange as well, as they were booked into the Morton County jail. Did you hear about them?

Twenty-six men and women who put their livelihoods on the line, to protect their children, your children and my future children.

Twenty-six men and women who realize that millions of people depend on the Missouri River for drinking water.

Millions.

Read the whole piece over at Time.

Plus-size model Rosie Mercado dropped from 410 lbs to 170 lbs after a tummy tuck, skin removal surgery, and of course, rigorous diet and exercise. Through the whole process, she was very public on social media, proudly sharing before-and-after images like the one below.

And while she's thrilled with her weight loss, some of her former fans are hopping mad. She spoke to TMZ about the reaction she received from "fat activists."

I got hate mail from fans who told me to go jump of a bridge and kill myself … They just hated the thought that I was really public about my weight loss and that I was losing weight … I don’t think they liked how public I was about my weight loss and getting a tummy tuck and skin removal and just being authentic and real about it. But I’m happier at the end of the day.​

Obviously, body acceptance, personal health, and the role of the fashion industry in dictating beauty standards are complicated, interconnected issues fraught with emotion for many people. But regardless of how you feel, why would you tell someone to kill herself? That's psychotic.

Luckily, it doesn't seem to be keeping Mercado down.

Kudos to this lady on being happy.