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Olivia Wilde shows off her new 'drinking buddy' in this breastfeeding selfie.

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Second-time mom Olivia Wilde snapped a selfie while breastfeeding her new daughter, Daisy Josephine Sudeikis on Monday. In the picture, Wilde was wearing a t-shirt that reads, "never underestimate the power of a woman." Damn right.

My drinking buddy. #neverunderestimatethepowerofawoman

A photo posted by Olivia Wilde (@oliviawilde) on

Wilde adorably captioned the photo "My drinking buddy." Hopefully she is able to hold her milk and won't spit up on that killer shirt.

Despite only being two-weeks-old, Daisy is already the budding feminist. She made her debut on October 11th, the International Day of the Girl, joining big brother Otis, who Wilde has told E! News is already a "little feminist."

There goes the neighborhood. Daisy Josephine Sudeikis. Born, like a boss, on #internationaldayofthegirl. ❤️

A photo posted by Olivia Wilde (@oliviawilde) on

A breastfeeding selfie in an empowering t-shirt with a feminist message? Suck on that, mommy-shamers.


Lady Gaga and her dad got matching tattoos in touching tribute that also promotes her album.

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On Monday, Lady Gaga shared an Instagram photo of her new tattoo: her late aunt's signature on the inside of her arm. She also wrote that her father got a matching one, "with an angel on his shoulder."

Gaga's latest album, Joanne, is also dedicated to her late aunt, a poet and painter who's obviously had a massive influence on the pop star.

This isn't the first or even second time Gaga's honored her aunt. According to Billboard, one of Joanne's poems appeared on her first album. She's also said that her career is partly an attempt to "finish [Joanne's] business" as an artist.

Sadly, Gaga never met her inspiration. Joanne passed away 12 years before she was born.

But as far as completing her work as an artist, no one can deny Gaga's had incredible success. And this is months before she outdoes herself at this year's Superbowl.

Gwyneth Paltrow's kids Apple and Moses sang with dad Chris Martin at a fundraiser and were pretty good.

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GwynethPaltrow and Chris Martin's kids, the whimsically named Apple and Moses, joined dad on stage at a fundraiser for the Malibu Boys and Girls Club to sing some tunes and represent the youth. While both of the kids are dead ringers for their mom, they luckily scored their musical talent from dad. (Well, Gwyneth's not that bad. Remember Glee?)

First, 12-year-old Apple covered Ariana Grande's "Just A Little Bit of Your Heart":

Martin then switched to the guitar as 10-year-old Moses sang another modern hit he probably hadn't heard of, "House of Gold" by Twenty One Pilots.

The kids seem to be coping well with their parents being "consciously uncoupled." They likely get their strength from Goop-mandated bee stings and a steady diet of "moon dust."

Tom Hanks flawlessly recreates the rap from 'Big' because he's still got it.

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Tom Hanks is a national treasure. (Seriously, did you see him on SNL this weekend? So good.) Well, now he's made us love him even more by flawlessly recreating his famous rap from his 1988 movie, Big.

Filmmakers Wesley Chan and Phillip Wang of the Wong Fu Productions YouTube channel caught up with Hanks and fellow legend, Ron Howard, at the Florence, Italy premiere of their new film, Inferno. Wang was extremely starstruck (as anyone would be in the presence of Forrest Gump slash Woody from Toy Story), and asked Hanks if he would do the rap from Big with him. Hanks, being the gem of a human being that he is, of course obliged. (Skip to 3:30 in the video to see the rapping greatness.)

Twenty-eight years later and Hanks launched into the whole entire rap without skipping a beat. For reference, here's the clip from Big. He got every single word.

National. Treasure.

This woman's form letter is the classiest way to respond to an inappropriate text.

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A UK woman named Sarah-Louise Jordan has become Twitter's newest hero by drafting a form letter response to a dick pic that manages to be classy, hilarious, and devastating all at the same time. Jordan's friend, Twitter user @maellevie, shared the letter, where it is blowing up as we speak.

The letter reads:

DEAR SIR,

THANK YOU FOR THE UNEXPECTED AND UNSOLICITED SUBMISSION OF YOUR PENIS PORTRAIT FOR OUR CONSIDERATION.
WE REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT IT HAS FAILED TO PASS OUR MOST BASIC STANDARDS OF QUALITY CONTROL AT THIS TIME.

HOWEVER, FOR A NOMINAL FEE WE CAN OFFER YOU A REPORT THAT WILL HELP YOU TO CHANGE THAT.

THE A4 REPORT, PROVIDED VIA POSTAL SERVICE, WILL INCLUDE PERSONALISED BOOKLETS THAT COVER THE FOLLOWING:

-WHY GENITALS ARE NOT AN ACCEPTABLE CONVERSATION OPENER (A STEP BY STEP GUIDE TO SAYING HELLO)
-HOW TO APPEAR AS THOUGH YOU WEREN'T RAISED BY WOLVES
-BETTER WAYS TO DEAL WITH YOUR SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
-HOW TO DRESS YOUR PENIS FOR SOCIAL MEDIA (A ROUGH GUIDE TO PANTS)
AND
-PENIS-READING: A NEW FORM OF PALMISTRY THAT MAY HELP YOU UNLOCK THE KEY TO YOUR FUTURE

WE WILL ALSO ANSWER QUESTIONS YOU MIGHT HAVE SUCH AS
-DO I HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS?
AND
-WHY DID MY PENIS FAIL BASIC STANDARDS OF QUALITY CONTROL

(NOTE THE NUMBER ONE REASON FOR THIS OCCURRING IS THAT IT IS ATTACHED TO A BIGGER DICK THAN ITSELF. )

FINALLY, AS A GESTURE OF GOODWILL WE INTEND TO OFFER TWO FREE SAMPLES WITH ALL OF YOUR FUTURE PENIS PORTAIT SUBMISSIONS:

AN INVENTIVE CRITIQUE OF YOUR PRIDE & JOY

AND

A SURPRISE CONSULTATION WITH YOUR CLOSEST AVAILABLE FAMILY MEMBER ABOUT YOUR PORTFOLIO.

WE TRUST THIS EXCITING OFFER IS ACCEPTABLE AND LOOK FORWARD TO WORKING WITH YOU IN THE NEAR FUTURE.

-YOURS FAITHFULLY.

In only two days, Jordan's letter has been retweeted more than 2,600 times, and favorited more than 3,600 times. It's well on its way to being the standard form letter all dick pics are met with. And while you can wither any dick pic sender just by responding, "Ew," why not do it in a way that makes him feel like he just got rejected from Oxford? That will make it sting all the worse.

Rihanna makes a desperate plea to fans to help find her missing backup dancer.

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Shirlene Quigley, a professional backup dancer who has worked with Rihanna, Beyoncé, and Missy Elliot, has gone missing. Now some of the biggest stars she has performed with are reaching out to fans to help find her.

💍💗 its @_nina_christina_ wedding!!!!!! #TheTateWedding #hair #makeup #weddingday #bridesmaid #HairandMakeupready

A photo posted by Princess In Pumps (@shirlenequigley) on

Quigley was last seen around 1 a.m on Sunday, October 23rd boarding a New Jersey bound bus out of Port Authority in New York City. Quigley reportedly lives alone in North Bergen, New Jersey.

Her father grew concerned after not hearing from his daughter, who routinely calls him around 6pm daily. Police later found Quigley's phone at a bridal store in Chelsea, New York.

Rihanna made a desperate plea to fans on her Instagram to be on the lookout for Quigley. She reposted a video of her former backup dancer talking directly into camera about kindness and tolerance.

This beautiful soul, and former dancer of mine is MISSING!!! My heart aches thinking of how heavy this is on all who love her! If anyone has seen or has any information on @shirlenequigley's whereabouts .....
PLEASE CONTACT the North Bergen Police Department 201 392 2100 !!!!

Missy Elliot also begged her Instagram followers to help find the missing 32-year-old. She reposted a video of Quigley giving a motivational speech to a group of dancers about the importance of being your authentic self.

This is@shirlenequigley she's been missing since Friday she is so loved & we pray for her safe return.. if u have any information or seen her please contact North Bergen police 201-392-2100 she was last seen at 12:55 am at Port Authority. Need help from the whole Dance Community to spread the word! Those who have met her know her spirit is always bubbly and kind & uplifting energy! Sending countless prayers🙏🏾

Quigley works as a dance teacher at Peridance Capezio Center and Broadway Dance Center in Manhattan. A friend reportedly told Quigley's father that Quigley recently made a cryptic comment along the lines of, "Get ready, it’s about to happen and I’m going to need you to sub for me." Her landlord also said she did not seem well when she was seen leaving her home on Saturday afternoon.

If you have any information on Quigely's whereabouts, please call North Bergen police at 201-392-2100.

Two 'Bachelor' contestants found love with each other instead of the guy.

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This is the best news: This year, on the Australian version of The Bachelor, two contestants vying for the love of the same man ended up falling in love with each other instead. Megan Marx, 27, and Tiffany Scanlon, 30, have been posting Instagram pictures of each other for the last few months, leading fans to wonder if something more than friendship was up. Marx flew Scanlon to the Abrolhos Islands for her 30th birthday, and on Monday, Marx wished her girlfriend a happy birthday with the sweetest caption.

I met Tiffany in a very strange situation. Well... we were kind of dating the same guy. And it was filmed and put on TV 😂. From that first cocktail party, it was like this instant calibration between souls, as if we had known each other once before. Friendship ripened into something bolder, trust in a very strange situation was formed, and now every adventure we have rivals the other- and continues to make plans for itself. Yesterday I flew this beautiful woman to The Abrolhos islands for her 30th birthday! I have to admit that I felt so so proud to be with her, my favourite person, celebrating such a momentous occasion on the water- a mutual love of ours. She is so confident in the ocean and in every adventure, as if every new experience is a winning of the lottery somehow; a chance to grow and learn and develop. To Tiffany, experience wins over the worldly acquisition of 'things' every time- and I think this is why she is so open-minded, so accepting of others, so fun and so at ease with letting winds blow her towards a variety of opportunities. She's helped me to disintegrate many of the ideals I've had that were harmful (about relationships, about career and 'stability') and for that I feel set free. Thank you for always asking questions (detective Tiff), for being curious about people, ideologies and the universe; for loving people with such a wholesome love that I don't know if I would ever be able to emulate. It inspires me. Happy Birthday Tiffany. I love you.

A photo posted by Megan Marx 🌷 (@megan.leto.marx) on

The full caption of the Instagram post reads:

I met Tiffany in a very strange situation. Well... we were kind of dating the same guy. And it was filmed and put on TV 😂.

From that first cocktail party, it was like this instant calibration between souls, as if we had known each other once before. Friendship ripened into something bolder, trust in a very strange situation was formed, and now every adventure we have rivals the other- and continues to make plans for itself.

Yesterday I flew this beautiful woman to The Abrolhos islands for her 30th birthday!

I have to admit that I felt so so proud to be with her, my favourite person, celebrating such a momentous occasion on the water- a mutual love of ours.

She is so confident in the ocean and in every adventure, as if every new experience is a winning of the lottery somehow; a chance to grow and learn and develop. To Tiffany, experience wins over the worldly acquisition of 'things' every time- and I think this is why she is so open-minded, so accepting of others, so fun and so at ease with letting winds blow her towards a variety of opportunities. She's helped me to disintegrate many of the ideals I've had that were harmful (about relationships, about career and 'stability') and for that I feel set free.

Thank you for always asking questions (detective Tiff), for being curious about people, ideologies and the universe; for loving people with such a wholesome love that I don't know if I would ever be able to emulate. It inspires me.

Happy Birthday Tiffany. I love you.

Bad boy of voting Justin Timberlake may have taken an illegal selfie in Memphis.

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If Donald Trump's worried about sketchy happenings at the polls this election, he need look no further than notorious bad boy Justin Timberlake. In an effort to promote early voting in his hometown of Memphis, JT basically rigged the election by snapping a selfie.

Well, take a good look at the Instagram before this callous attempt at "getting out the vote" is flagged and removed by Instagram as a completely obscene disregard for voting law.

You do know about Tennessee's restrictions on taking photos at the polls, right?

According to ABC's sadly useful guide to where you can take a "ballot selfie," Tennessee "voters are not allowed to take photos or videos while in polling places."

Oh, snap. JT, you rebel.

Twitter's obviously furious about this. Just look at one woman's seething reaction:

Although the law also says electronics are "only allowed... for informational purposes to assist during voting," so Timberlake could probably spin this outrageous stunt as some sort of educational experience.

Oh well. We'll get you eventually, TIMBERLAAAAAAAKE.


This hot dog stand doesn't want your children to grow up to be Donald Trump.

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The 2016 election has affected all parts of American life, including the meanings of the nation's favorite snacks. Tic Tacs.Skittles. And now: hot dogs.

One of New York City's many, many hot dog stands has a message for parents of unruly kids, many of whom are registered to vote.

People on Twitter loved the Public Service Announcement.

While the name "Trump" invokes fear in the hearts of many—women, minorities, people with eyes and ears—it's now being used to scare parents into disciplining their kids so they don't become threats to American democracy.

Now I'm hungry for a hot dog, with ketchup, onions, and political discourse.

You'll love this model who looks exactly like Kendall Jenner even if you hate the real thing.

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Although millions of people around the world hate the Kardashians and Jenners for vague reasons, no one can deny how attractive they are. Which is why Russian model Kate Bogucharskaia is so great. She looks eerily similar to Kendall Jenner (herself a very successful model—some of them do have jobs), but she has none of the reality show baggage of the Jenner clan to cloud your mind with rage. Just look at this powerful resemblance.

👀

A photo posted by Kate Bogucharskaia (@foxy1kate) on

Here's Kendall Jenner for reference.

As if you forgot what she looked like.

Creepy, right? That dark hair, those smoldering eyes… Here's Bogucharskaia again.

And Jenner…

more from Vogue shot by @mertalas & @macpiggott

A photo posted by Kendall (@kendalljenner) on

And Bogucharskaia…

#ss17

A photo posted by Kate Bogucharskaia (@foxy1kate) on

Getting dizzy?

👁👁

A photo posted by Kate Bogucharskaia (@foxy1kate) on

Best of luck to this gorgeous young model on what's sure to be a bright future. Unless Kris Jenner sues her for copyright infringement, in which case she'll be destroyed.

😀👁👁👀

A photo posted by Kate Bogucharskaia (@foxy1kate) on

sneak peek @kendallandkylie bathing suits w/ Top Shop

A photo posted by Kendall (@kendalljenner) on

Happy hump day !:)

A photo posted by Kate Bogucharskaia (@foxy1kate) on

One of those was Kendall. Did you catch it?

'New Girl' creator explains why women usually only talk about groping with other women.

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Liz Meriwether, creator of the sitcom New Girl, recently wrote an essay published by The Cut about how women handle unwanted groping entitled "Laughing Until We Cry: Conversations About Getting Flashed, Grabbed, and Groped."

The essay, inspired by the recent comments made by Donald Trump, explores why women commonly don't report instances of groping or "forcible touching" to authorities, but choose instead to share their stories with each other.

When I tell my stories to other women, I don’t have to stick to the tidy black-and-white narrative that I am a helpless victim who has fallen prey to an evil predator. For most men, anything outside that narrative sounds like a lie. Men who hear these stories, I’ve found, tend to interrogate you to get to the truth of what happened, then, if they believe you, they want retaliation or revenge. Men want rules to be enforced and authorities called. Women want those things, too, but we understand the complicated mental calculations that are forced on us: If a man reaches under your skirt on an airplane, does that mean you should put your career, your ambitions, your livelihood in jeopardy just to watch him get some kind of slap on the wrist? Isn’t that ultimately giving this stranger more power over your life? Women don’t have to explain these things to other women, because we’ve all had to ask these questions ourselves.

Women often fear retaliation when it comes to reporting instances of sexual assault, and if you are confused as to why, look no further than the presidential election. Women who have accused Donald Trump of sexual assault have been lambasted by his supporters, called liars, and have been threatened to be sued by the Republican nominee himself. The potential backlash is enough to silence most abused women and men.

I wish I could say my decisions not to report were heroic, but for the most part, they were selfish: I didn’t want the hassle. I wanted to keep dancing at a party. I wanted to keep getting paid to write. I did the calculation in my head and decided the best thing I could do for myself was to ignore what happened and put it away in the part of my brain that occasionally wakes me up in the middle of the night. Were those the right decisions? I genuinely don’t know. The problem is, of course, that the men involved never got into any trouble, and other men in my life or my industry or my city had no idea that any of it was happening.

Meriwether is now urging women to stop laughing off instances of groping and start holding their assailants accountable. In a weird way, shaking off forcible touching seems almost natural, especially after years of abuse at the wandering hands of others. It shouldn't be that way. It is time for a change.

Let's do it, ladies.

You can read the essay in full here.

This is not a drill: The official trailer for 'Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life' is here.

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Okay okay okay okay, Gilmore Girls fans. Everybody stay calm. After months of teaser trailers and script pages and Luke's Diner pop-ups, the moment we've all been waiting for is finally here. Netflix released the official trailer for Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life on Tuesday morning.

And it's good. So good, in fact, that several Someecards staffers admitted to tearing up at their desks upon watching it. (Okay, maybe it was just two of us. We didn't actually cry though. We're very brave and in control of our emotions.)

Are you ready? Okay, here it is. Welcome back to Stars Hollow, kids.

AHHHHH! It's cruel that we have to wait another month to watch this. Hopefully that truly perfect visual of Kirk sitting at Emily's dining room table is enough to hold you over until November 25.

Article 32

Amy Schumer responds to 'Formation' appropriation with topless photo and weird video.

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For some reason, Amy Schumer decided to make a version of Beyoncé's "Formation" video. It was weird to see the camera zoom in on her butt and her and Goldie Hawn dance to a song so clearly for (and by!) black women.

Okay ladies, let's learn 'bout appropriation.

Naturally, there was a backlash, bigger than the average Schumereaction, and Amy apologized with a duo of Instagrams almost as confounding as the video itself.

You know you that b—- when you cause all this conversation. Thanks for the exclusive release Tidal! We had so much fun making this tribute. All love and women inspiring each other. #strongertogether.

She later posted a video in which she says she's "Grateful for all of this sh*t. Grateful to be alive right now, during this time."

Grateful

A video posted by @amyschumer on

Feminista Jones, the writer and activist who started the #AmySchumerGottaGoParty hashtag after the video came out, was not having the apology.

Between apology posts, Schumer Instagrammed this pseudo-strip as an attempt at a distraction.

Where's the music?

A video posted by @amyschumer on

Based on Twitter today, I don't think it worked.

People are furious at this rapper who threw $30K to 'make it rain' on homeless people.

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Atlanta rapper Terrell Davis, professionally known as Ralo, caught a ton of heat after donating $30K at a homeless shelter because, instead of doing it thoughtfully and discretely, he threw his money at people like he was at a strip club.

Fuck going to the strip club, all the niggas wit money let's go to all the homeless shelters and make it rain on the poor people...#RALOHOMELESSCHALLENGE

Ralo's gesture is undercut by the maniacal laughter coming from behind the camera while people lined up outside an Atlanta homeless shelter scramble to get the cash. This could have become dangerous if anyone decided the money was worth fighting for, and you can hear a woman who works at the shelter say "don't hurt those people."

Comments flooded in claiming this was just a publicity stunt and that Ralo was treating these people like animals.

  • simone.sullivanThis was rude because you watched and enjoyed them fight over the money. Their desperation was enjoyable enough to post on social media.
  • ashley_rrsVery sad. The thought was great. But you truly treated them did respectfully like animals like they get treated daily by others on the street. Very nice but done very distastefully... And why post it?? You got the attention you wanted 👍🏼
  • chevellelaneYou stuntin on the gram for pub Ralo. I'm disgusted watching this. Give it tob them the same way you got it. In your hand.

Nevertheless, Ralo was trying to help his community.

"How the f*** did you get mad at me for making it rain on homeless people?"

"Let's see who is going to give the most to the homeless people."

"No disrespect to the strippers," diamond-covered Ralo says. "But I'm going to spend all my m***er f***ing money throwing it on all the homeless people."

As perverse as it is, this is how he wants to be charitable. As long as no one is getting hurt, is this really worse than just ignoring the homeless problem altogether?


Article 29

'Game of Thrones' set photos confirm that thing you've been looking forward to since season 1.

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Spoilers for Game of Thrones season 7 ahead, duh.

New photos—unofficial, extremely blurry, but nonetheless fairly indisputable—from a Game of Throneslocation in Spain are confirming something fans have fantasized about since, at least, A Dance with Dragons came out in 2011.

When we last discussed Game of Thronesplot in earnest, we were confirming Jon Snow's long-suspected heritage.

Now that we know the White Wolf's parents are Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen, it's pretty sweet that we're getting this photo of Jon and his Aunt Daenerys hanging out together on some ramparts somewhere in Westeros.

WAIT WHAT.

Unless that's some other long-haired mountain man and silver-haired dragon lady, these photos are all but confirming a Jon/Dany rendezvous this season.

Again, if you stopped to speculate at all, you would have guessed this. Like, it would have been your first point on a list of believable fan theories.

Still, actually seeing them next to each other in costume is a nearly religious experience. The question on everyone's minds now is simple—will they make babies?

This man's famous hand played Thing in 'The Addams Family' films.

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It's October. We're all cozying up with our Pumpkin Spice Lattes and binge watching all our favorite Halloween movies, including the always spooky, always hilarious Addam's Family films. Speaking of the Addam's Family, remember Thing? Their adorable pet disembodied hand? Have you ever thought about the real-life man behind the hand that played Thing?

In this episode of Brandon Hardesty's series, No Small Parts, we meet Christopher Hart. Hart is the professional magician-turned-hand-actor who brought Thing and many of TV and film's other favorite hands to life. Hart talks about the difficulties of turning your hand into a character with emotions. It's pretty fascinating. Why not learn some fun facts about Thing to break out at your next Halloween movie night?

Groom divorces bride two hours after wedding because she won't stop Snapchatting.

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A Saudi bride and groom found their marital bliss almost immediately shattered when a disagreement over social media tore apart their marriage only two hours after the ceremony. Saudi newspaper Okaz reports that the groom had included a stipulation in the marriage contract that his bride would not share pictures of the wedding on Snapchat. (This guy sounds like a real catch.)

But the bride, like a true millennial, was unable to resist the lure of social media. Her brother told Okaz what happened next (translation by Metro):

There was a prenuptial agreement between my sister and her fiancé that she would not use social-media applications such as Snapchat, Instagram, or Twitter to post or send her pictures.

It was included in the marriage contract and became binding. Regretfully, my sister did not honor the pledge and used Snapchat to share pictures from the wedding ceremony with her female friends, resulting in the shocking decision by the groom to cancel their marriage and call for divorce.

This is a rare example of a story that could only happen in 2016, but also sounds like it happened in 1016. Let's hope this bride finds love again with a man who appreciates social networking, and let's hope this groom learns to chill the F out.

17 retail employees share secrets they wish customers knew about shopping.

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Do you have a computer-based job where the majority of your human contact comes from emails or Slack messages? Count yourself one of the lucky ones who don't earn a living from retail. Whether they're jeans or computers, retail employees have to be friendly when they don't want to. But what's behind that friendly mask? What if retail employees... could talk? Amazingly, they can, and they did on Reddit about the secrets of their trade. Here are some secrets you may not have known about life in the store.

1. Before you can buy a single sock, people like trolltollwhatyousay have to release them from an environmentalist's nightmare.

I worked in a clothes store for years and when delivery arrived every single item had to be unwrapped. A pair of socks, jeans, a pair of £3 earrings etc., every last thing comes in a plastic sealed bag. We'd throw away enough rubbish to fill a huge dumpster easily before the store even opened every day

2. This tip from EatingTurkey shows that the "loyalty" in "store loyalty card" is more about employees' loyalty to a place that could fire them at any moment.

We HAVE to ask if you have our "X" card. Managers are often discreetly observing transactions and writing up little feedback cards. We'll lose our jobs if we keep skipping that question and we dislike asking as much as you dislike being asked.

3. Threatening to take your business elsewhere is the greatest gift you can give a retail employee like suestrong315.

That we aren't hiding merchandise from the consumer. I work at Home Depot and ppl seem to think that by saying "I'll just go to Lowe's then!" means it'll magically appear in the store for purchase. And on top of that, your declaration of taking your business elsewhere doesn't affect us the way you want it to. I'm not gonna throw myself at your feet and beg that you stay and apologize with tears in my eyes because we don't have any more 100w daylight light bulbs. If you can find it at Lowe's then get it there.

4. Sharobob shares a heretofore unheralded pleasure that comes with getting old.

I know someone who works for Walgreens and they say that it would shock you the number of little old grandmas who will just straight up grab shit off of the shelf, throw it in their purse, and walk right the fuck on out of there without a single sideways glance.

All the employees are allowed to do is go up to them and ask if they can help them with anything to try to make them uncomfortable enough to stop.

5. Have you ever asked a retail employee to check in the back? User salhey has a shocking revelation about what stores keep "in the back."

IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK IT'S NOT IN THE BACK

6. But Mykelbrown says that sometimes there is a back room, and it's full of garbage you'll buy on December 23.

Every year at Christmas time , especially the last two weeks before, we empty out the back room of all the shit that wouldn't sell all year long and watch the desperate crazies buy it

7. Here's a generic comment from I_Time_Bomb.

Ok, trying to provide an actual secret. A lot of store brand items are actually name brands in different packages. I used to work for Walmart and great value milk was actually Land O Lakes milk, Sam's choice pizza was actually freschetta, and I believe great value bread was made by Sara Lee. It all depends on where the store is and which company will give them the better deal, but store brand is usually as good as a mid quality name brand.

8. Hey, you know how stories relating to "profiling" have dominated the news for the past 10 years? According to d0ndada that's also retail's jam. Neat.

Worked 10 years in retail. Our loss prevention team profiles you. Teenagers, especially in groups, are watched the entire time they're in the store. You are economically profiled, if you look like trailer trash or a gangster or just shit broke, there's a camera on you the whole time.

9. Some people like cash, and cashiers like groudontamer don't like to handle old, warm, germ papers.

We actually like when you use your credit/debit card instead of cash. No matter how big the purchase.

10. Skyemonkey doesn't remember you. And all this time you thought you'd made a friend.

"I was here last week and you helped me with..."

"uh... I wear a name tag because when I'm here I can't remember my own name, why would I remember you? "

11. So, if what medinaiscool says is true, it's like being nice…will make others nice…to…you?

If you are nice, I will give you whatever coupon I have. If you demand I give you a discount, said coupon does not exist.

12. This fact from TemplarReflex777 is true. Unless they're playing Phil Collins' "One More Night." They're always playing Phil Collins' "One More Night."

Music plays over the speakers because studies have found that shoppers spend more time in the store when music is playing versus less time spent in the store when there is no background music.

13. Tarshana, and everyone else in line behind them, will magic slow shoppers.

When I see you break out a checkbook I am swearing voodoo curses at you in my brain.

14. Go ahead, Megaross says. Complain to the manager. Please.

Most complaints you make to managers will be basically dealt with as "oh some customer complained about you but he seemed like a prick so I'm not concerned."

15. User needtoshave says to only fill out the customer surveys if you're going to give employees all "excellents." Or, you could just help them out and give them all "excellents" even if their customer service was only "good."

All the customer surveys only count positively if you say you are 100% satisfied. I.e. If the questions ask from 1-10, 1 being not satisfied and 10 being satisfied how would you rate "blank". If it is not all tens then it counts against us. We only get reported the % of highly satisfied, and are penalized harshly if monthly numbers are low.

In short, unless the person serving you was an ass, then just give them top scores every time.

16. If you've ever wondered if they're tryin' to get ya, OhCleo confirms that they are, indeed, tryin' to get ya.

The entire supermarket 'experience' is designed with the intention of making you spend more time and more money inside the store. The lighting (real and artificial), the sounds, the smells, the temperature, the layout, the depth of the baskets/trollies, the position of certain items in the store, the height at which certain items are displayed... nothing is accidental.

17. Then why do you always ask, MrauderGaming? And why do we always say "And then some!" when we know you've heard that "joke" a hundred times?!

We don't actually care if you found what you wanted

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