Article 12
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Is Hiddleswift back together or are they playing games with our hearts again?
BIG NEWS, everyone. Reports are saying that Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston might be getting back together after Swift chartered a plane to London over the weekend.
Wait. That's it? That's all the evidence?
Okay, let's see if there is anything to unpack here.
According to Lainey Gossip, Taylor has some pretty hardcore fans who follow her private plane (which is kind of scary) to keep track of her comings and goings. Apparently, Swift's plane flew from Los Angeles to New York City on Friday, and then the plane proceeded to fly to the UK. When Swift normally visits England, she flies into Luton airport, but her plane landed in Stansted airport, the same airport Tom and Taylor used when they visited his parents over the summer.
Meanwhile, Tom had just finished filming Thor 3 in Australia, but didn't attend the wrap party. Could that be because he was traveling through multiple time zones to rush home to Swift? Time to dig up that old "I <3 T.S." t-shirt!
The creepy plane-tracking fans reported that the plane has already returned from the UK.
Now let's be clear—there is absolutely zero evidence that Swift and Hiddleston have reunited. She simply flew into an airport near her ex-boyfriend's parents house the other day. That pretty much means nothing. Nothing at all.
Guess we will just have to be patient and see if we get that long awaited Hiddleswift sequel is in the works. In the meantime, read these Taylor Swift and Drake dating rumors to hold you over.
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Khloe Kardashian wore the Marc Jacobs dreads that everyone already agreed were a bad idea.
Khloe Kardashian tweeted out a picture of her wearing the now infamous Marc Jacobs deadlocks, and people reacted to them the same way they reacted when they were on the runway to begin with. Who could have predicted that?
Why, Khloe? This was part of an attempt to try out Spring '16 runway looks for her website, and according to Buzzfeed, who coughed up the subscription fee, she "despised" how they looked on her.
I absolutely despise this on me! I think dreads are really cool but the rainbow combined with the dreads is just too much on me. But how cute is my little Kenny with her dreads walking in the show?! Werk sissy, werk!!
Well, the public reviews are in, too, and the general response is: not kool, Khloe.
This is becoming a family tradition. Remember when Kylie kept wearing kornrows?
Who will be the next family member to pull this stunt? Find out on the next episode of Kultural Appropriation with the Kardashians.
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Article 9
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Woman gets her 20 boyfriends to each buy her an iPhone 7, sells them for the coldest reason.
In China, an unnamed woman has shown the world how it's done by savagely using the love of her 20 suitors to take care of #1. The story started on the web forum Tian Ya Yi Di, and quickly went viral. And even though you'll want to believe it's made up, it was verified by the BBC. Thank god.
The woman, who has been dubbed Xiaoli by the Chinese media, was living in the Southern Chinese city of Shenzhen. She asked each of her TWENTY boyfriends (get it girl) to buy her a brand new iPhone 7 as a token of their affection. All of them complied, presumably because she's bangin', at which point she promptly sold all the phones online. She collected a sum of 120,000 Chinese yuan (roughly $17,700 USD), and used that money for a down payment on a house in the countryside.
Here's an artist's interpretation of her enjoying her new home:
According to the writer of the original post, a coworker of Xiaoli's who calls herself "Proud Qiaoba," word got out about Xiaoli's scheme when she invited her friends from work over to the new digs. It soon became THE hot office gossip, and after Proud Qiaoba wrote about it, the biggest news on China's main social network, Weibo. A hashtag, translated as "20 cell phones for a house," became the top trending topic in the entire country (pop. 1.3 billion).
Xiaoli has become a modern-day hero in China, where poverty is still rampant and the pressure to better your life, and that of your family, is immense. In particular, home ownership is a major status symbol that many can't afford. Proud Qiaoba says about Xiaoli:
[She] is not from a wealthy family. Her mom is a housewife and her dad is a migrant worker, and she is the oldest daughter. Her parents are getting old and she might be under a lot pressure hoping to buy them a house… But it's still unbelievable that she could use this method!
Now that the word is out, everyone will be using this method. And more power to them. I would gladly date 20 women at once if I could get a house out of it. And also if I couldn't.
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7 things you missed today while you were at your boring adult job: New emoji, @POTUS, and Eleven.
Hello! How was your day? Damn, that sucks, especially because it's getting colder now. But at least the fact that it's November means there are no more "October Surprises!" Now any revelations will just be blatant electioneering!
Speaking of the election, here's what you missed while you had the privilege of thinking about other things.
1. Trump saw Hillary's private server, and raised us his own public server that might have been used to communicate with a Russian bank. о мой Бог! (via Slate)
2. Oh, and there may or may not be a tape that involves Trump and an orgy in Russia. мне страшно!! (via Death and Taxes)
And in non-Trump news...
3. New emoji updates features such necessities as avocado and facepalm. We'll miss the peach butts, but that's what Kimoji is for. (via Emojipedia)
4. The White House has figured out the protocol for the peaceful transition of power for the official POTUS Twitter. (via USA Today)
5. TV shows hate millennials just as much as you do. (via The Week)
6. Harry Potter Yoga is real, unlike Harry Potter. (via Mashable)
7. L'eggo your Eggo: Eleven will emerge from the wall for Stranger Things season two. (via TVLine)
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Pilot interrupts flight to propose to a 'very special passenger.'
This Australian Qantas pilot interrupted the regularly scheduled in-flight announcement to make a request of a "very special passenger." And it wasn't "please return your seat to the upright position." Instead, the long-time Qantas pilot, Captain Ellis, proposed to his girlfriend. The airline uploaded a video of the proposal to their Facebook page with a sweet message, so you know it ends well:
The passenger, named Ana, said yes (that isn't always the case with public proposals). Otherwise that would have been an awkward (and nerve-wracking) flight for everyone involved. But she seems very happy—although maybe it's just all of that leg space?? Dating a pilot must have its perks.
May these two enjoy a lifetime of happiness together and, more importantly, thousands more likes and shares on their viral proposal!
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Article 5
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People are outraged by this Starbucks cup for the dumbest reasons.
Ah, November. Fall is winding down and soon the holiday season will be upon us. You know, the joyous time of year where we all put aside our differences and join together in a blind outrage over something silly, like paper coffee cups. It seems that the newest cups at Starbucks are causing quite the stir.
On Tuesday, Starbucks announced the arrival of its new limited edition green cup that features "a mosaic of more than a hundred people drawn in one continuous stroke.” These are not meant to replace the chain's holiday cups (which will be red, as they are every year), but instead are a separate thing intended to "celebrate community."
“During a divisive time in our country, Starbucks wanted to create a symbol of unity as a reminder of our shared values, and the need to be good to each other,” Starbucks CEO and Chairman Howard Schultz said in a press release.
And, in the spirit of community, the good people of the internet joined hands to shout their anger over these cups from the rooftop.
Some people (WHO CLEARLY DID NOT READ THE PRESS RELEASE) assumed that these cups were for Christmas. (Again, they're not.)
Others accused the chain of "political brainwashing."
And some folks were just downright hostile.
This is what Starbucks gets for trying to do something nice.
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Lakers' Metta World Peace complains ghosts touched him 'in the wrong places' at hotel.
When the L.A. Lakers travel to Oklahoma City to play the Thunder, they stay in the Skirvin Hotel, a 1911 behemoth believed by many to be haunted—a belief shared by Lakers small forward Metta World Peace, who said he was taken advantage of by spirits during his stay. The Skirvin is widely believed to be haunted, thanks to gruesome legends about its founder. Visitors often report hearing a baby crying and/or seeing a ghost woman pushing a baby carriage. World Peace, however, encountered...friendlier ghosts.
The ghosts were all over me. I just accepted it. They touched me all over the place. I’m taking one of the ghosts to court for touching me in the wrong places.
Despite threatening legal action against the deceased gropers, Metta World Peace did choose to finish his in-room movie. "I was watching a good movie," apparently Money Monster, "and I was tired. I didn’t want to move."
Other NBA players have reported supernatural incidents at the hotel like doors slamming or the aforementioned crying baby (which, y'know, might just be a crying baby in a hotel). In fact, Lakers guard Lou Williams and forward Larry Nance Jr. opted to pay for their own accommodations nearby, rather than mess with forces beyond human comprehension.
The Skirvin was built in 1911 by a wildcatter (an independent oil speculator) named Bill Skirvin. He originally had a partner, Fred Scheruble, who died under mysterious circumstances. Despite suspicions from investigators, the case against one of Oklahoma City's most prominent citizens was dropped. Skirvin (like a certain other hotel magnate today) was known for hosting parties with "loose women" at the hotel. The haunting legend begins here. Apparently, Skirvin impregnated a maid named Effie. The stories vary, but according to legend she was either locked in a 10th floor room until she died or was driven to jump out of a window. In any case, the legend of Effie is the root of the Skirvin's haunted rumors. Until now, though, Effie had never been accused of taking liberties with any of the guests.
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Japanese man levitates a cup and a lit cigarette because magic is real.
This video from Japan is driving everyone wild on Twitter. And even the most skeptical among us would have to agree it's pretty unbelievable. In the video, a man makes a cup float in thin air. That not impressive enough for you? He then does the same trick with a lit cigarette. IT FLOATS. You can see for yourself:
How is this possible? BuzzFeed Japan reached out to the guy who recorded the video, 22-year-old Felipe Isamu Nagano, but he didn't offer much by way of answers. Mr. Nagano said the video was shot at Aeon Mall Suzuka, and that the man in the video "did that magic at a smoking area next to the food court on the second floor."
Okay, but how did he make that cup float tho???
“He just started making the paper cup float around," said Nagano. "When we asked him to do it again, he did it without saying a word. He never said anything, but as it was time for us to eat, we thanked him and left the smoking area."
It seems like there is only one possible explanation: Magic is real, and it lives in the smoking section next to a Japanese mall food court, on the second floor.
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Flirting
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Amy Schumer thanks doctors and nurses for helping her sick dad watch her perform.
Hey! It's Amy Schumer news and it's not controversial! The comedian put up a heart wrenching video on Instagram today with a post thanking the doctors and nurses who have been treating her dad, Gordon Schumer, who has multiple-sclerosis (MS). His health has improved so much under their care, she wrote, that he was able to see her performance on October 18th at Madison Square Garden. The video shows him in the audience that night, while his daughter made history as the first female comedian to ever headline the arena.
During the video, she also gave her dad and mom a very Schumer shout out. "I love you daddy," she said, "Both my parents. I'm a wise ass psycho because you guys raised me this way. So thank you."
Aww!
In the caption, she wrote:
My dad watching me at the garden. I want to thank all his aids and doctors and nurses and Nilda and especially Dr Sadiq for giving my dad a second chance at life. He never used to be able to come watch me perform. But he is reborn with the faith you have given him. Everyone at Tisch MS research center thank you. #samthenurseiloveyou
Gordon Schumer, who now lives in an assisted-living facility, has been living with multiple sclerosis since Amy was 12. In the post, she also thanked his aides for helping him get to the show.
Whatever your thoughts on Amy Schumer as an actress or comedian or a feminist icon or the person behind this unfortunate remake of Beyoncé's "Formation" video, there is nothing controversial about her devotion to her dad. Two thumbs up.
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It's another fantastic edition of parents telling their kids they ate their halloween candy on 'Jimmy Kimmel.'
It's that time of year, again. Time for parents to usher their children into their very first panic attack by telling them they ate all their Halloween candy. Watch children get their first dose of "life ain't fair" and laugh at their expense in the 6th annual "Hey Jimmy Kimmel I Told My Kids I Ate All Their Halloween Candy" segment on Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Hey. Those kids spent hours shlepping around their neighborhood dressed as Elsa for those fun-size Snickers all for it to be pried from their small, sticky hands. You would freak, too.
Like taking candy from a baby. Literally.
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Congratulations
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Louis C.K. tells Conan O'Brien he's voting for 'tough bitch' Hillary Clinton.
Louis C.K. stopped by Conan O'Brien's show Tuesday at the Apollo Theater in Harlem, where they talked about—what else—the upcoming election. It's good that everybody's (still) talking about it, though, because it's there, looming, and it's truly imperative that people get out and vote. C.K. himself is really excited about the possibility of a Hillary Clinton presidency, saying that what we really need in the White House is a "tough, bitch mother."
C.K. says that he has no problem with anyone voting for Trump if that's their "ideology," but that he thinks it's a problem that he can't take criticism, asking, "What's more important about a president than that you can shit all over them?" He explains,
We need somebody who can take abuse. Hillary Clinton can take abuse. She's been taking it, and taking it. This is what's been going on, we've been hazing her, we've been holding her down and spitting in her mouth, and yelling at her, and she just gets up and goes, "Well, I just think if children have proper healthcare and education," she just keeps working. So I'm totally for her.
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Mean dad Jimmy Kimmel tricked his own daughter into thinking he ate all her Halloween candy.
For the past six years, Jimmy Kimmel has had parents trick their kids into thinking they ate all their Halloween candy, but now it is time for Jimmy's own daughter to endure the prank. Jane Kimmel was patiently awaiting her breakfast when her Dad told her he binged on her hard-earned sweets. That monster.
Jane totally didn't take the bait. She used some master deflection tactics to shut down her father by repeating "no" whenever Jimmy tried to explain that he ate all her candy. Where did she learn that from, Donald Trump?
Maybe Jane is used to her dad's high jinks, or more likely she is just a stubborn toddler with a limited vocabulary, but Jane's non-reaction totally shut Kimmel down. Take note, trick-or-treaters of the world.
Now go make her some pancakes.
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Internet instantly outraged by photo of Farrah Abraham, her daughter, and weight loss tea.
On Tuesday, former Teen Mom star and frequent internet-enrager Farrah Abraham posted an Instagram photo of some tea. Then everyone went crazy.
"Teatime @flattummytea @sophialaabraham & I—after all that candy 👻," wrote Abraham, tagging a weight-loss tea and her seven-year-old daughter in the same sentence.
The post seemed to imply that her daughter—with mug in hand—and her were drinking the tea to detox after binging on Halloween candy.
As US Weekly and dozens of irate commenters pointed out, the tea apparently "contains laxatives." Not the best health strategy for a child.
Not to mention the clear warning on the website that any statements about the tea have not "been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration."
Of course, Abraham's daughter was not drinking the tea. "She has strawberry milk and I have my tea," said Abraham. "She wanted to take a pic like that, so no, my daughter does not have tea in her cup."
The last time the internet sought to crucify Abraham, she had put her daughter in makeup. The time before that, they were incensed about her daughter's bikini. Clearly, Abraham's aware of the internet outrage that can follow a photo of her daughter.
So, just maybe, is it possible she posted this Instagram to troll her followers? And get more attention for the tea she's promoting?
She's just sipping her tea, laughing at all the free press.
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Comedian calls men 'little bitches' for pulling out of birth control experiment.
Tuesday night's Daily Show featured a news segment on male birth control by comedian Michele Wolf. Hooray, male birth control! For years women have been hoping that one day a form of birth control would be invented for MEN to take, and it seems our prayers were almost answered, until the men involved in the study dropped out due to—wait for it—mood swings. Womp womp.
It turns out 20 of the 320 men involved in the experiment withdrew due to side effects, including mood swings, depression, acne, and increased sex drive. True, this is exactly what women go through each month, and that's basically with or without oral contraceptives (either you're getting your period, or you're taking pills that mess with your hormones and still feeling awful). As Wolf said, "You guys call that 'side effects.' I call that 'day four of a fairytale period.'"
Wolf continued,
Men are such little bitches. I mean, one of the side effects is actually increased sex drive. You men always end up winning. I mean, the shot might as well be called More Sex, Less Babies.
The pill that women take also comes with the additional concerns of potential blood clots and strokes, so, as Wolf quipped, "Side effects are the only area where women earn more than men."
Don't lose heart, ladies. It's just a matter of time before they perfect this, because of course men want to do their fair share of birth controllin.' Right, men? RIGHT?
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Leah Remini gets emotional in the trailer for her new anti-Scientology docuseries.
In 2013, actor Leah Remini (best known from TheKing of Queens) had a highly publicized break from Scientology, becoming one of the cult'spseudo-religion's most well-known ex-members. In 2015 she wrote Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology and on November 29, the first episode of her new A&E docuseries, Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath, is scheduled to air.
In the trailer for the series, released Tuesday, Remini explains why she wanted to make the show, saying, "My whole life I was a very dedicated Scientologist. I didn’t want to find out what I’d done was a lie. Something inside of me was saying, 'Get them out of this thing.'"
In a statement about the show, Remini said,
This series is about sharing the truth about Scientology. Truth born out of very personal experiences. Truth that is shocking, things I did not expect to find when I embarked on the journey of making these shows. Even though I had been a member of the Church for a long time, I was stunned by some of the things I learned. There is a lot more to this story than anyone knows. And this series is breaking ground on bringing that information to light.
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