Kendall Jenner turned 21 on Thursday, and big sister Khloe Kardashian divulged some of the details about her lavish birthday party on Jimmy Kimmel Live! As far as gifts go, it could be hard to get something for the girl who has it all, plus enough money to buy anything she could ever want. But one generous stranger still gave it a go anyway.
Yep, some random dude (who is possibly a prince?) bought Kendall a Rolls Royce, but she got so drunk the night of her birthday she totally forgot about the over-the-top gift.
The Kardashians are just so relatable, aren't they?
According to People, Kendall and her guests celebrated at the 1920s themed club Delilah, where they popped 21 bottles of Perrier-Jouët Belle Epoque Champagne, which typically sell for $500 a bottle. Yep, this birthday bash spent over 10 grand in Champagne alone.
So maybe the gift went right along with the theme of the party, which apparently was "Look how much money I have!"
Comedy Chelsea asked Politics Chelsea how she's dealing with Trump's avalanche of insults, and Politics Chelsea said it all comes down to a big lesson she learned from her mom: discern whose criticism is worth listening to.
Politics Chelsea loved getting to hang out with the same name as her. Maybe they'll be roommates at the Chelsea Convention in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan.
Aubrey Plaza and Michael Cera almost got married in Vegas once. Oh, and also, apparently they were in a relationship for a while. I KNOW, WHAT?
Plaza revealed on RuPaul and Michelle Visage's podcast, "What's the Tee?" that she and Cera were together for a year and a half. According to Aubrey, the two of them met on the set of their film, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (where she says they were "just friends"), and then fell for each other during a cross-country road trip. And then apparently there was one time they "almost got married in Vegas."
In true Aubrey Plaza form, when RuPaul asked if her and Cera's initial attraction came from being "enclosed in a small space," she responded, "Oh, like animals in captivity? Everyone just wants to fuck each other?"
Of course she was kidding, and said it wasn't like that at all. "He’s a very special — I mean, we love each other,” she said. “We’re still really good friends. He’s just a weird little freak and we speak the same language. He’s one of the funniest people I know."
I'm sorry, I didn't even know they dated and now I find out that April Ludgate and George Michael Bluth almost got MARRIED? And they "LOVE EACH OTHER?!" I'm going to need a minute. Or several. I ship this so hard. GET BACK TOGETHER, PLEASE!
On Wednesday, Beyoncé and the Dixie Chicks took the stage at the Country Music Awards and dazzled with their rendition of "Daddy Lessons." This was notable not just for the great performance, but because the run-up to Beyonce's appearance had been full of backlash from country music purists and racists alike.
Unfortunately, the controversy did not end after the show. The next day, the CMA website and social media featured, curiously, zero evidence of Beyoncé's part in the show.
CMA erased all evidence of Beyonce performing at the awards last after her appearance sparked racist backlash from some country fans. 🤔pic.twitter.com/LOngo91jjL
As Buzzfeed reports, "there was no mention of the performance after the fact...even though CMAs posted on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram many times about other stars’ performances."
The Beyhive's fury centered largely on one deleted tweet:
But Sarah Trahern, chief exec of the Country Music Association, said simply: "Beyoncé's team hadn't approved that [Tweet], so we pulled it down. Fans can get kind of passionate and read other things into it."
Other sites, like Hollywood Gossip, certainly read "other things" into the strange circumstances. They pointed to the CMA YouTube page, completely devoid of Bey or the Dixie Chicks.
As to that, Trahern told the New York Times that Beyoncé's team "had only approved one official live video of the song and that the CMAs "stand by" their decision to include the Lemonade singer in the festivities.
For their part, so do the Dixie Chicks.
If we all turn this up really loud, together we can drown out the hate. https://t.co/PWJcDeNmuR
Teigz told Cosmoabout the time Legend tried to break up with her, but it just didn't stick.
"Early on in the relationship, I was on tour with him and he’d gotten sick. He was feeling really bummed and stressed out. He was like, 'I can’t be in a relationship right now,'" she said.
"That lasted for one day. Literally, a day. I knew it came from a place other than us not working ... I always joke, 'Remember when you tried to break up with me?' He’s like, 'Yes, sorry. Big mistake.'”
Even the Oscar-winning "All of Me" guy gets nerves.
Teigen also mentioned how cool she is with Legend's exes, and also in general.
"I didn’t know it, but John used to be a notorious modelizer," she explained, "To me, he was the sweetest teddy bear. What’s funny is that I get along with everyone he’s ever been with. I end up really liking them. After I see them, I’ll tell him, 'Oh, I was on-set with your ex today — it was fun!' ... It was before me, so it’s fine."
For someone with the most famous awkward face, she turns out not to be that awkward.
Pick up the issue in grocery store checkout lines everywhere.
In his popular segment Lie Witness News, Jimmy Kimmel sends a correspondent onto the street to ask passersby about a made-up news story, just to see if they'll pretend they've heard about it. And because everyone wants to be on TV, they always do. This time, the poor rubes were asked how they felt about President Obama's decision to run for a third term (which would be illegal under the constitution). They were all too willing to believe him.
To be fair, if someone on the street told me Obama would be sticking around, I'd probably believe them too. I so want it to be true.
As the Cubs take to the streets of Chicago to parade their victory in front of their adoring (wasted) fans, no one's really going to school. That's an accepted fact. But when one student's "absent" email was extremely lackluster, a criminal justice professor at Trinity Christian College responded with a hilarious lesson in proper ditching.
I think what you meant to say is as a criminal justice student, you are very interested in how police handle large crowds. For this reason you have decided to get first hand research seeing the Chicago Police work with a large crowd. I think it is very commendable that you are so dedicated to criminal justice, that you are spending your time and money to do this important research.
Please be safe. Dr. Connelly.
Seriously though, "I won't be in class tomorrow because I'm going to the Cubs parade" is extremely half-assed. Still, it's the kind of thing you can pull off when hell freezes over—or the Cubs win the World Series.
One of the best parts of a wedding is the Daddy Daughter Dance, which is not as creepy as it sounds. It combines all the emotion of a couple's first dance without feeling like you're intruding and that the newlyweds should just get a room.
“Every night [in the week] prior to the wedding we’d run through it a few times,” Phillips told Good Morning America,“I think since we’d talked about it for years that it was pretty easy for it to come together.”
“The most fun thing was seeing my dad and how happy he was.That was a dream fulfilled.”
The DJ literally says after the dance, "Somebody please put this on YouTube. It needs to go viral."
One couple is blowing up Reddit with a pregnancy announcement video that tops all others—deliberately. When they became pregnant just before their sister-in-law did, they wondered about how to let their friends and family know. But then, their in-laws announced their own pregnancy on Facebook before them, totally stealing their thunder. So they responded the only way they could: by filming a totally meta, totally hilarious announcement video that would blow them out of the water. And did it ever.
Oprah recently announced her "Favorite Things" list for 2016, and it is just as impractical and bizarre as ever before. Check out what Oprah has been loving this year (besides bread) and see if there is anything you want to buy for the Stedman and Gayle in your life. Bonus points if you put their gifts under their chairs instead of under the tree.
This gift is great for: Someone who is on their feet all day but has enough money not to be on their feet all day. Foot models. Hobbits.
Oprah suggests this lovely foot care set, which is basically just a pair of socks and some Epsom salts, that will only set you back $132. Sure, your tootsies will likely be shoved in your boots all winter and not see the light of day until May, but if you want a taste of luxury, you're going to want to budget for this set that costs as much as a week's worth of groceries.
This gift is great for: People who own shoes. Those who are anti-velcro. Your coworker who had a lot of quirky tchotkces on their desk.
Forget the jewelry or fancy gadgets, what she really want this Christmas is shoelaces. Don't settle for the laces your shoes come with, be like Oprah and change them out for these slightly more interesting ones! Also, I would like to stress that these laces are unisex, because usually shoelaces are gendered. Progressive af.
Any human with feet can use these!
3. This poinsettia cake that will almost definitely get damaged during delivery.
This gift is great for: People who pretend they know how to bake a cake. Your great Aunt Florence who is impressed by intricate sugar work.
If you can't choose between bringing your host flowers or dessert, kill two birds with one stone and bring this poinsettia cake. According to Amazon, the cake is 100% edible, which is good because it is a cake. The cake retails for $132 and serves about eight, which puts each slice at about $16 each. You'll love saying "Everyone look at the cake! Appreciate the cake!" at your next holiday party.
This gift is great for: People who can't decide on a color. Someone born with extra fingers and/or toes. 13-year-olds.
This is actually a pretty great gift, but isn't 22 colors overkill? Many nail polish enthusiasts have a few colors or shades they like to stick to, but for someone who is indecisive af, this wheel may be the perfect gift. Best of all, the polish comes on a lazy Susan, the same thing you use to pass food around the table in fancy Chinese restaurants, which only exaggerates the hilarity of giving someone 22 FREAKING BOTTLES OF NAIL POLISH.
Ever the savvy businesswoman, that sneaky 'lil Oprah hid her iPhone game "Bold Moves," in the list. "Gifting" this app to someone will speak volumes about how you feel about them, because it is a free app you can download on your phone and not actually a gift at all. Good news is that you don't have to wrap it.
This gift is great for: Wood nymphs. Rich girls who love Coachella. Candle bloggers.
This candle retails for $52, and for that price you probably are expecting it to be somewhat large. WRONG. This candle is 8oz, a.k.a. the size of those mini water bottles they give out at soccer games. It comes in a variety of scents, such as Back in Avenel, Chisos, Highland Dell, South of Monterey and Sweet Atchafalaya, which basically means nothing to anyone.
Perfect for: Your dog, that spoiled brat. People who like animals more than humans.
Dogs are important. Very important. They are also dogs. They will pretty much sleep on anything. I've seen a dog doze off on a pile of rocks. So this $395 dog blanket with hand drawn portraits of your pooch lining the edges seems a tad excessive, does it not?
This is a great gift for: Stressed out millionaires. People who still own CD players.
Oprah wants you to have the gift of Oprah this Christmas. For a mere $100 dollars you can seek peace with Oprah as she whispers in your ear the secret to enlightenment. This trilogy of meditation tapes by Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey will help you to shed weight, create peace, and get unstuck (whatever that means). After all, nothing says relaxation more than a meditation led by the woman who screams about bread on television.
Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm my god.
9. I think this is some sort of VR headset or something?
This gift is great for: That kid from Willy Wonka who loves TV. Bratty teens who don't like interacting with others.
I have to be honest, I really don't know what this thing is. According to Oprah, the Avegant Glyph Personal Theater is a "HDMI-supported device that can do everything from checking emails to watching movies in digital HD," which basically clears up nothing. It will, however, make you look like a person whose headphones fell over their eyes or a New Yorker cartoon about people being blinded by technology.
Great For: Your annoying friend who is obsessed with brunch. Eleven from Stranger Things.
Elevate your "brunch game" with these fancy-shmancy bottles of maple syrup. It's almost sacrilegious to pour this stuff over some toaster Eggos, but like, isn't that the point of maple syrup? The good news is that this doesn't come in a creepy woman-shaped bottle (lookin' at you, Mrs. Butterworth), but the bad news is that at $70, you might not be able to afford to eat anything but this maple syrup for a week.
In the end, the cheap stuff always tastes the best anyway.
This is a great gift for: your friend who always has lipstick stains on her coffee mug. Olmac from Legends of the Hidden Temple. Your 2-year-old niece who loves to play with your lipstick.
What is going on with this, Oprah? This red lipstick by Edward Bess is freaking huge, 5.6 oz to be exact (almost as big as that tiny candle), and is way too big to carry around everywhere. Also, if you tried to apply it to your lips, you would also be painting your nose, cheeks and chin as well. Just look at that thing! It's huge! Plus, no one can commit to one shade for that long. Geez.
This gift is great for: your gadget-obsessed friend who makes you feel bad for not knowing how to access the iCloud. Rapunzel.
Dyson has done it again and created this hair dryer that looks like a fancy socket wrench. The hair dryer costs $400 bucks (unless you also want the case, in which case it's $450), and at that price you can expect this baby to really make your hair not wet. That's right, this thing dries your hair. That's about it! Oprah swears it is "worth every penny," but let's be real. Oprah doesn't even know what a penny is.
This gift is great for: Enemies of frosting. The lactose tolerant. People who read too much Home and Garden.
Disappoint everyone who was expecting dessert with this cheese cake. No, not cheesecake. Cheese cake! $140 gets you two giant wheels of cheese, a bunch of little succulents, and little doggy bags in case you somehow can't finish two giant portions of goat cheese in one sitting. Nothing says, "thanks for coming to my holiday party" like a bag of leftover cheese.
Watch out, sexism, because Alicia Keys is on a rampage. First she stopped wearing makeup. And now she's going in on the Disney princesses. The singer specifically called out one of the classics, Snow White, which she described as "totally sexist, misogynistic" in a recent interview with The Edit. She's not wrong!
As someone who grew up watching waifish, doe-eyed Disney princesses consistently make huge sacrifices to "win" their "Prince," I'm 100% on board with this message.
“They say that every child learns from their mother – it’s ingrained from babyhood," Keys, 35, told The Edit. "Have you watched Snow White lately? I get real funky about the classics; I don’t like [my sons] watching it."
The multiple-Grammy-winner, who is mom to 6-year-old Egypt and 1-year-old Genesis, continued: “It’s totally sexist, misogynistic–she’s cleaning for seven dwarfs. There’s nothing wrong with a woman who chooses to stay at home with her family, it’s a hard-ass job, but it’s the way it’s spoken about.”
As Page Six pointed out, in that cleaning scene that Keys refers to, Snow White did have some help. "Snow White in fact delegated most of the chores to the woodland creatures that she lived with in the home—which she broke into and where she apparently stayed rent-free—while the dwarves worked in a mine," they wrote.
Okay, fair point, Page Six. And yet (SPOILERS AHEAD), she also gets kissed by a stranger while she's in a glorified coma (def not consensual) and then has to marry that dude, who fell in love with her while she was asleep. Yeah, if I had sons, or daughters, I wouldn't want them watching this movie either.
Thursday night on Conan, Tracy Morgan addressed the Wal-Mart truck driver who, reportedly sleep-deprived at the time, crashed into Morgan's limo and left him in a coma.
"You went through a real serious thing, but you did forgive the Wal-Mart driver, is that right?" asks Conan.
"I did forgive him and I'm not even mad at him," responded Morgan, to applause. "I'm not mad at him, but you know who is mad at him? All my white neighbors."
"You wouldn't have hit his ass, he wouldn't be living next door to me!" joked Morgan, who apparently moved as a result of the accident.
Morgan proceeded to talk about how he likes to shock his neighbors by driving his Lamborghini slow "like a pimp," and how if he had a better education, he could have starred on 60 Rock instead of 30 Rock.
Many celebrities have already come out in support of Hillary Clinton during the 2016 election (Like Louis C.K., Oprah, the cast of Will & Grace, James Franco, and Adele, to name a few). Now even more famous people are joining forces to beg you to vote against Trump.
Led by Crazy Ex-Girlfriend creator and musical comedy genius Rachel Bloom, this star-studded music video from FunnyOrDie features the likes of Glee's Jane Lynch, Modern Family's Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Parks and Rec's Adam Scott, The Big Bang Theory's Mayim Bailik, and even Broadway legend Patti Lupone. Plus about a million others. (Bloom's band has Moby on the drums and Elizabeth Banks playing the bass.)
Their message is simple: "Holy fucking shit, you've got to vote." (Now is probably a good time to point out that their message is also laced with profanities, so if you're going to listen in the office, make sure you have headphones.)
The video is simultaneously a hilarious effort to get out the vote for Hillary and a spoof on "We Are The World"-type songs. I'm going to be listening to this all day.
As evidenced in the opening lines of her hit song, "Gimme More" ("It's Britney, bitch"), Britney Spears really loves the word "bitch." It's a great word, so what's not to love? It's also the title of that iconic '90s song by Meredith Brooks, "Bitch." You know the song. Even if you think you don't, you'll remember in a second, when you watch this clip of Spears speaking the words to the song, during a performance from her current Piece of Me Las Vegas residency.
Spears, looking fierce AF clad in all black, starts off by saying "I feel like a bitch…and a lover." Aw yeah. Now you remember:
"And a child…and a mother. And a sinner, and a saint, and I do not feel ashamed. I’m your hell, I’m your dream, and I’m nothing in between. And I wouldn’t want it any other motherfucking way."
Knee high leather boots, reading glasses, and a fake British accent? Damn straight, bitch. Or Britney. Maybe I'll just go with "Britney" until I know her better. Either way, it's classic Britney.
Even as other states around the country inch closer to legal recreational marijuana for citizens over the age of 21, Texas persists in severely punishing cannabis possession. And in one of the state's most striking quirks of drug law, anything cooked with weed butter or hash oil is treated as a controlled substance on par with heroin, meaning a pound of pot brownies could put you behind bars for life. The friendly attorneys of Hutson & Harris don't want to see your buzz harshed that way, so they've produced a music video that ought to convince any half-baked pastry chef to put down the mixing bowl and rethink their choices.
It's hardly the first time these country lawyers have offered advice in song. Over the years, they've crooned about your Miranda rights, not talking to the police without representation, and why you shouldn't try to eat your pot when you get caught with it. Man, it's like some people have never seen Super Troopers.
Are these guys as sultry and smooth in court as they are on YouTube? Guess you could always commit a crime in Texas and find out for yourself.
One disgruntled dad is getting a lot of attention for a passive-aggressive Craigslist post pleading with his wife's lover not to stop sleeping with her, but to be a little more conscientious about it. The letter, posted anonymously on October 26 to the Reading, PA "missed connections" message board, is clearly meant to be funny, although you can't help but wonder if it's a work of pure fiction, or the work of a man desperately trying to cope with his marriage unraveling.
Also, it would be funnier if it contained less casual sexism (although you can't blame the guy for being bitter).
Here's the full post:
To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry, I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife.
1. Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old.
2. You may be giving me a chance to go fishing more often but please stop drinking all my beer. It is fine if you have a couple while you visit (god knows I drink plenty before I find her attractive), but please leave me a few as I have to be there longer than you.
3. If you do drink the last one buy more or leave money on the counter I will pick some up.
4. Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son believes if its not there he does not have to wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recommend a better spot?
5. After doing my wife please use something disposable to wipe off with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are clean as my wife does not do my washing, I run out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty(thanks).
6. Please do not tell my children that you are their uncle, they are young not mentally challenged.
7. Please stop turning the heat up, You pay nothing and MUD is putting it in my ass, my wife may like it but I think it hurts.
8. When she asks "do these pants make me look fat", say no. You may think giving a different answer will make her think twice about eating a gallon of ice cream a day but all you are doing is giving her a reason to go buy more pants that she will look just as fat in.
9. Stop eating the baked goods. The brownies you ate were from my mom for my birthday. My wife has not cooked anything that good for years and if she does she will not share.
10. Try shifting your weight when you sit on my chair. The recliner that I rarely have time for (soccer games and practice, basketball camp for the kids takes much of my time and I try to help with school work too)has a grove in it that forces me to roll to the left.
Lastly I would like thank you for taking her to lunch on Valentines Day. She was not as hungry as usual and only ordered one meal.I may be able to use the money I saved to take the children to a movie. I hope you can help me with these items, it may become awkward if I have to confront her. If you can do this for me I will give you a heads up on when I will be gone and for how long so that you don't feel rushed.
P.S. I am going to take the kids to the Great Wolf Lodge on the 3rd of April for four days, I have a bottle of vodka above the fridge if you find yourself low on beer.
Thanks This was not written by anyone named Jack S.
On Friday, Canadian singer Michael Bublé pinned a post to his Facebook wall, revealing that his 3-year-old son, Noah, was diagnosed with cancer. This is obviously heartbreaking news, but Bublé and his wife, Luisana Lopilato, are staying positive, and counting on the support they receive from "family, friends, and fans around the world."
In his statement, Bublé wrote:
We are devastated about the recent cancer diagnosis of our oldest son Noah who is currently undergoing treatment in the US. We have always been very vocal about the importance of family and the love we have for our children. Luisana and I have put our careers on hold in order to devote all our time and attention to helping Noah get well. At this difficult time, we ask only for your prayers and respect for our privacy. We have a long journey in front of us and hope that with the support of family, friends and fans around the world, we will win this battle, God willing.
A photo posted by Michael Bublé (@michaelbuble) on
Besides Noah, the couple also has another young son, 11-month-old Elias. In October, Bublé appeared on Entertainment Tonight, where he talked about his overwhelming love for his kids, saying,
I love them more than I’ll ever love anything, or anyone in the whole universe. I think it gave me perspective on life that I think I very badly needed. It’s hard to be able to quantify that level of love. I didn’t even know that there was that color in the spectrum. I didn’t know that level of love existed. But it makes me better at everything. It allows me to pull more emotion and be more honest and to be in the moment.
Sending lots of love and good thoughts to the whole family.
Drake posted this pic on Instagram this morning, from his 30th birthday party back in October (the same party where he and Swift were reportedly "canoodling"):
I have to give Taylor credit though, she bounces back quick! Now please, let "Swake" be a thing. Because whether you love or hate this potential couple, we all need something to distract us from the actual, possible end of the world as we know it.
It's been 10 years since the end of Dave Chappelle's iconic Chappelle's Show, which proved a heartbreaking loss for fans and Comedy Central alike. But at long last, it appears we'll get to see the beloved comedian back in sketch mode: Chappelle is set to host Saturday Night Live on Nov. 12, which also happens to be the first episode of the series following Election Day on Nov. 8. A Tribe Called Quest will join him as the musical guest.
That Chappelle has never hosted SNL before seems to have only raised expectations, so go ahead and get hyped. And if you miss this, don't count on having many conversations that Sunday.
