Happy Tuesday, internet! How was your day? Getting excited for Thanksgiving? Same. Chances are you didn't get to catch up on the day's top internet stories. Maybe you were busy at work all day, or you were practicing self-care and refusing to look at social media. (And honestly, good for you. It's important to take breaks from this madness.) Whatever the reason, we can catch you up on what you missed. Here are seven things you should at least pretend to know today.

1. President Obama handed out Medals of Freedom today.

Ellen Degeneres, Lorne Michaels, Bruce Springsteen, Tom Hanks, and Diana Ross were among the recipients of the Medal of Freedom. And yes, they did the Mannequin Challenge.

2. A couple recreates famous movie scenes with their surprisingly patient cats.

Film buffs Dave and Sarah have an Instagram account called @moviecats where they regularly post photos of themselves recreating famous movie scenes with their cats. It's just as perfect (or should I say, "purrrrrfect?" I'll see myself out) as you might imagine.

3. Chrissy Teigen accidentally flashed her "hooha" on the AMA red carpet. She's sorry.

Teigen took to Instagram to apologize to "anyone harmed mentally or physically by my hooha."

4. Kanye West was hospitalized following his abrupt cancelation of his remaining tour dates.

His wife Kim Kardashian skipped what was supposed to be her first public appearance since being robbed at gunpoint in Paris, and support and well-wishes for Kanye from his fellow celebs poured in on social media.

5. Two best friends tried to reassure their families they're not gay by filming an extremely bromantic vacation video.

Travis Henning filmed his trip to Thailand with his BFF to prove to their families that they're not lovers. Henning edited the footage into a montage set to "Some Guys Have All The Luck" by Rod Stewart. Perfect song choice to declare your platonic love, if you ask me.

6. Tila Tequila had her Twitter account suspended for hate speech. Finally.

After years of spouting pro-Nazi sentiments on social media, the reality star's Twitter account was finally suspended on Sunday after she posted a terrifying photo of herself and others performing the Nazi salute at a white supremacist convention. Yes, that actually happened.

7. One mom "ruined" this girl's dog with her choice of haircut for him. The internet shared her pain.

It's one of the worst cases of dog shaving we've ever seen. Once you get over the horror, though, it's pretty cute. And we have to agree with the people saying he kind of looks like an early NSYNC-era Justin Timberlake.

Oh, Gwyneth Paltrow. Sweet, beautiful, infuriatingly out-of-touch with reality Gwyneth Paltrow. While speaking at the Airbnb Open in LA this past weekend, the actress and GOOP founder was as unrelatable as ever when she commented on the recent presidential election, declaring this an "exciting time to be an American," as Page Six reports. Ok, Gwyneth. Exciting for you maybe.

"It’s such an exciting time to be an American because we are at this amazing inflection point,” said the 44-year-old actress, whose GOOP website once suggested women purchase a $15K vibrator.

“People are clearly tired of the status quo," she continued. "And … it’s sort of like someone threw it all in the air and we’re going to see how it all lands. It’s very important for me, personally, now more than ever, to create a community and to remember the humanity of everybody and to create love and … understanding.”

Ah, yes. Let's throw America up in the air and see how it lands! How fun! Like confetti! Very, very, very expensive confetti! Tra la la dee da!

As far as her political leanings, she pleaded the fifth. “The most amazing thing for me about this election is I felt … 'I don’t understand the opposition well enough at all,'" she said. "I’m not going to tell you what side I’m on, but my big takeaway was, 'I really need to open my mind and understand better because I don’t.'”

Someone please explain to Gwyneth Paltrow why America is not a pile of confetti.

I don't know what's scarier, the idea of a Trump presidency or talking about it with your drunk uncle at Thanksgiving. But luckily, the internet never fails to find humor even in the darkest of times. The hashtag #TrumpYourThanksgiving is trending on Twitter, in case you needed something to be grateful for (also: food, booze, and the fact that you're not a turkey).

Here are TK of the funniest #TrumpYourThanksgiving tweets to remind you not all is lost. Also, there's always gravy!

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Jimmy Fallon rounded up a collection of bad signs sent in by viewers that can't exactly be called effective, but certainly are hilarious. Who knows how these signs got approved, but if you designed a sign that ended up on Fallon's "Bad Signs" segment, it is definitely a bad sign for your career. Check out all the glaring mistakes, weird wording choices and misprints below:

Honestly, that is a total steal for man nuts. Why grow a pair when you can just buy a pair at the low low price of $3.99?

It's Black Friday, and whether you're out fighting the crowds or hiding at home, you could probably use a good laugh. These are the 27 funniest Black Friday tweets of all time.

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A Rhode Island bookstore employee who ran into Hillary Clinton has posted a photo with an encouraging message for the would-be first female president.

"She was gracious and she was warm and she said the bookstore was beautiful. Bill Clinton shook my hand and complimented my sweater."

So as Donald Trumpwreaks havoc on Google Calendar notifications for everyone at the New York Times, Hillary Clinton's spending her post-election months strolling around a bookstore, inspiring open letters from her heartbroken supporters.

She may not be president, but she's still the King Midas of Facebook: everything she touches goes viral.

Jessica Wick's post has been liked by thousands of people, shared hundreds of times and commented on by hundreds of supporters. Of course, the trolls showed up, too, because in case you didn't know—Hillary Clinton is sort of polarizing.

This follows Clinton's chance encounter with a supporter while taking a walk in the woods around Chappaqua, New York. In both instances, Bill Clinton was there. In both instances, Bill Clinton was apparently not asked for a photo.

Sorry, Bill. Better keep practicing with that iPhone camera.

Things are not going great for Kanye West lately—he acted bizarrely at a few recent shows on his Saint Pablo tour (I know, I know, Kanye acting weird? You don't say), including going on a rant about Jay Z and Beyoncé, and ultimately canceling the rest of the tour altogether.

Then yesterday he was taken to the hospital on a 5150 psychiatric hold (involuntary hospitalization) after allegedly attempting to assault someone at the gym. But one good aspect of the whole 5150 thing is that, according to TMZ, it might end up saving the rapper millions of dollars he would otherwise owe to the venues for canceling. In fact, he might still get paid for the shows he's not performing.

TMZ is reporting that West canceling those shows not only means he would lose the approximately $30 million from ticket sales, he would also owe money to the venues at which he was slated to perform. Except it turns out that West's insurance policy covers him if illness is the reason he's unable to perform. So if it's proven that "accident or illness. . . prevents any Insured Person from appearing or continuing to appear in any or all of the Insured Performance(s) or Event(s)," West will still get the money he would have made from the remainder of the tour, and he won't be on the hook to the venues. Interesting!

Bono, Kristen Bell, Julia Roberts, The Killers, Channing Tatum (DEEP BREATH), DJ Khaled, and Halsey all joined Jimmy Kimmel in singing a cute little song about going to hell on Tuesday night. Phewph.

The song, appropriately titled "We're Going to Hell," warns people of their firey fate if they don't help people with AIDS—especially if you're loaded like all these fancy celebs.

With Brandon Flowers on the keys, the gaggle of stars crooned the lyrics "if we don't help people with AIDS we're going to hell!" before Bono, in bizarre devil makeup, starts singing from within a bathtub. A HELL bathtub, that is.

The stars were raising money for (RED), an organization that fights AIDS and funds AIDS research. So it looks like they are exempt from hell for doing their part.

Wait, if Bono is in hell, what does it take to get to heaven? That dude is single-handedly saving the world through his multiple humanitarian efforts.

The rest of us are totally doomed.

After a brief, peaceful period of detente, it appears that Justin Bieber is back to his old Joffrey-esque ways.

Rolling up to his concert in Barcelona on Tuesday night, a fan reached through a car window to touch him and got a punch in the face in return.

Here's the view from inside the car:

It appears to be contentious whether the fan struck first—some Bieber apologists believe that the fan struck first, and that Bieber's was a defensive punch.

A close investigation shows that the fan's touch looks suspiciously like a slap.

What do you think: Was Joffrey Bieber on the offense or the defense?

Star of Westworld and "Handsomest Man in the World" (according to GQ) James Marsden stopped by TheLate Show with Stephen Colbert on Tuesday night, where he talked about how actors are really just Westworld hosts in real life—they have scripts, they often die in scenes, and then they have to do the whole thing over again. Actors also tend to be fairly good-looking, as evidenced by Marsden's high school yearbook photo, which he thinks is "goofy" but is still about 20 times better than Colbert's "pre-color film" one.

What a cutie he is! And his McConaughey impression isn't too shabby, either.

Louis C.K. is not shy about sharing his true feelings about anything. The guy tells it like it is, and that's why we love him. When he stopped by Conan recently, Louis had some blunt and honest words of wisdom for all the professional dancers out there: Dancing "is the worst available career choice." Might some dancers be offended to hear that? Sure. But probably not as offended as Conan's house band when C.K. offered up being a musician as a career that, unlike dancing, at least had a second tier if it didn't work out the way you planned. He then pointed to the Basic Cable Band and said, "Look at these guys." He went on to point out that they all probably went on to be separate rock stars but instead, ended up "a clump of nothing."

So, the next time you need life advice and feel like your friends are being too nice, maybe give Louis C.K. a call.

Ben Millar, an Irish man currently living in Houston, Texas, got generous tip from a patron who wants him to take his new family home for the holidays.

According to Irish new source Independent.ie, Millar, an expectant father, was waiting on a man named Jeffrey at a restaurant when the two started talking about Irish rock band U2. Jeffrey told Ben he recently visited Ireland, and Ben responded that he wishes he could get home for a weekend to visit family, but "thought nothing of it."

When he came to collect his check, Millar found this.

His immediate reaction? "Holy sh**!"

The picture of the receipt was shared on Facebook by Millar's girlfriend Taryn Keith, who is currently pregnant with their son, Killian. The baby is due January 20th, so Millar and Keith won't be able to make it to Ireland in time for Christmas, but are planning on visiting as soon as their son is old enough to fly.

Keith told reporters, "I think it's a blessing and it couldn't have happened to a better guy than him. He works really hard. He's pretty stressed right now with money and the baby coming, so this just made his whole year. It's good to know that there are kind people in the world."

Unfortunately the generous donor slipped away before Millar had the opportunity to thank him, but the couple is hoping that by sharing the story, Jeffrey will see how much his gesture meant to them.

Thanksgiving brings the family together—which means it is also the ultimate time to tear each other apart. Whether or not people admit it, the holidays are the time for family power rankings. And if you can't tell who the weird cousin is, you might be the weird cousin. Here's how to translate what your nosy aunts really mean:

"How's work?" = "You do have a job, right?"

"Your boyfriend couldn't make it?" = "We have bets on whether or not he actually exists."

"You still have a beard!" = "You are a slob."

"You need to visit more often." = "Grandpa is not going to live forever."

"You always did march to your own drum." = "You were such a weird kid, it's a miracle that you've survived out there on your own for this long."

"You know, I was married when I was your age." = "You should be trapped in a loveless marriage by now."

"Please pass the gravy!" = "This turkey tastes like cardboard."

"Who's excited for pie?" = "Let's skip straight to dessert so I can get the hell out of here."

"I baked this myself." = "I'm better than you."

"Thank you for making this holiday very special." = "Buckle up for Christmas, beeyotch."

A respected art connoisseur once declared that Squidward's self-portrait —titled Bold and Brash—"belongs in the trash."

But like so many visionary artists light-years ahead of their time, his work finally got the respect it deserved years later, when one unknowing mom bought it for $250 (according to her son on Twitter).

"When u get home look at the kitchen wall, I bought a painting," texted Mom. "It's cool, found it at Walkers for $250 but the guy selling it said it could be worth #3,000 or more :)."

Did the guy at Walkers, by any chance, look anything like this?

The painting's from the Spongebob episode "Artist Unknown," where Sponge reveals himself as something like the talented, ocean version of Michelangelo. Squidward, naturally, is terrible at art and everything he makes belongs in the trash.

Twitter users immediately marked this significant moment in art history.

New dad Taveon Glenn has struck a chord on Facebook with a video of his newborn daughter having her hair washed. And while most toddlers would throw a tantrum when subjected to this treatment, this little angel hasn't hit that point yet. Instead, she loves every second of it.

Glenn's video has gone viral in a big way, which is no surprise. People love babies (enough that they're willing to give up all their money and time for them). In only three days, the Facebook post has been viewed more than 24 million times, receiving more than 200,000 likes, 350,000 shares, and 63,000 comments. This baby is basically more famous than Justin Bieber (and more mature).

After what was definitely the most divisive presidential election that I have seen in my 26 years on Planet Earth, some family Thanksgiving tables may be just a liiiiittle bit tense tomorrow. We already know that supermodel Chrissy Teigen is a master of chill (who else could laugh off a wardrobe malfunction with such ease?), so why not take some of her advice on how to survive your post-election family holiday getherings? Teigen shared some of her tips with The Huffington Post.

The first thing in Teigen's survival guide? Booze. "Drinking always helps," she told HuffPo, "especially this year."

"It's hard because people get in such huge fights around the dinner table," Teigen continued. "I think obviously try and never talk about politics or religion, but it’s going to come up, especially if you’re in my house or John’s home and everyone has very strong opinions all the time."

In other words, brace yourself for the inevitable political discussions by snagging a seat next to your aunt who keeps the wine bottle next to her plate. (We all have one, right?)

But what if six glasses of wine just isn't enough to escape the rampant political debate happening at the dessert table? Teigen does have one other remedy.

"My escape has always been reality television," she says. "It’s like the background noise that makes you feel sane can relax now, even though people are screaming at each other."

So grab your fun aunt, a bottle of wine, and settle in for a marathon of The Real Housewives of New York. We're in for a long holiday season.

The staff of the Rufus T Firefly, a pub in Glasgow, Scotland, decided to have some fun at the expense of a guy who may not be a regular customer, but is certainly regular. After noticing that a certain well-dressed man would come in at least three days a week after work, head straight to the bathroom, and leave immediately while avoiding eye contact, manager Will Jamieson decided to reach out to him the only way he could: on the pub's chalkboard.

The sign reads:

To the guy who keeps coming in to do a wee jobby without buying anything then pretends to be on his phone on the road out to avoid eye contact, hiya pal!

For anyone not familiar with Scottish euphemisms, a "wee jobby" means a bowel movement, which makes this guy's crime so much more heinous.

But despite how harshly he called out this serial pooper, Jamieson insists that the sign was just a light-hearted gag. He told the Morning Advertiser:

It was a joke at the expense of bad etiquette … There's no issue. If somebody needs to use the toilet then I'm not going to stop them. We thought we'd put it on the board, he'll see it but at the same time it doesn't give his identity away to anyone else. It was a wee joke to that one particular individual. We've never told anyone that they can't use the toilet.

And Jamieson never intended the sign to go viral on the internet, but of course it has. Someone unaffiliated with the pub shared an image on the popular Facebook page Scotland by the Roadside, where it has received more than 2,000 likes. It has also vastly elevated the Rufus T Firefly's online presence, as Jamieson explained.

In terms of our social media traffic it's blown up big time. The phone goes every five minutes with people following us on Twitter and Instagram, liking us on Facebook and checking in.

This might be more bad news for the Wee Jobby Bandit. Will he keep frequenting the pub once there's a line for the bathroom? It seems like he doesn't like to wait.

Professional bridge-burner Kathy Griffin ain't afraid to call out celebrities on stage or in her new book, Celebrity Run-Ins: My A-Z Index.

Griffin wrote about the time she was seated next to a "very drunk" Jon Hamm at a dinner party thrown by talent agent Sue Menger. Griffin recalled that Hamm had just come off a day of filming Mad Men and got completely wasted during the "coffee table" portion of the evening. By the time everyone sat down to dinner, Hamm was drunk enough to continually interrupt fellow guest Jack Nicholson with "boozy yammering."

Then Hamm randomly attacked Griffin with insults. He started off by saying, "You know your Emmy isn’t a real Emmy," before leaning over and whispering "You’re so o-o-o-old" in her ear. Ick, you can almost smell the alcohol on his breath.

But the sharp comedian has never been afraid of firing back, so she wrote some pretty cutting things about Hamm in the book. This is what she has to say about the man she considers her "nemesis."

He’s one of these hot guys who’s mildly funny but actually thinks he’s comedian level funny. You know the type — there’s probably one in your office or family. He just reeks of that. It’s an entitled air. When Hammy wants to be funny, he’s, well, not.

Jon Hamm has gone to rehab for alcoholism, so hopefully the dude has learned from his messy past and moved on. Sounds like Griffin is still holding that grudge, though.