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If this hilarious local commercial for an animal shelter doesn't warm your heart, nothing will.

January 4, 2017, 6:14 am
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Local commercials are usually wrought with cheesiness and awkward local business men screaming into camera in their attempt to "act," but this commercial for an animal shelter is breaking the mold and charming the hell out of people. Fur Kids, Georgia's largest no-kill animal shelters, released the three minute ad and it has pretty much won the internet over.

There are a lot of incredible moments in this local commercial, including a woman pretending to be a wacky waving inflatable tube man

This man calling this tiny adorable kitten fat.

And this subtle but genius "tree fiddy" (or should we say "tree kitty") South Park reference.​

Of course, it also had the amazing ability to take the world's saddest song, "In the Arms of an Angel" by Sarah McLachlan, and make it humorous. It'll almost make you want to run out and adopt a cat! Almost.

Here is the Fur Kids website, but it is not nearly as funny as the commercial.

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Kylie Jenner proves she can feel shame after 'very personal post' about sex with Tyga goes up.

January 4, 2017, 6:37 am
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While Kylie Jenner is not really known for privacy (her Instagram could use a Parental Advisory label), she officially drew the line of what's too much to share when a post went up on her app about how she pleases her man Tyga.

happy birthday baby 💋

A photo posted by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

For $2.99 a month, fans with premium access on her app could read personal posts and get exclusive content, and Kylizzl appeared to have written about keeping Tyga happy, “[spicing] things up with lingerie, toys and massages.”

The post was quickly removed, and her staff (she has staff!) took the hit for posting it without her permission. But of course a fan caught a screenshot:

(As a writer-y person, I'm inclined to say that the scandal is that Kylie's blog posts are ghost-written, but no, it's the sexy stuff it describes.)

Kylie quickly took to Twitter to take it back.

While Kylie might have disapproved of the post, her ghostwriter actually has some good advice:

Get your man the personalized chopsticks he wants, and bake surprise cookies so you can eat them too.

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Cat owner orders scratching post online, immediately regrets not reading the description.

January 4, 2017, 6:45 am
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This Reddit post is a perfect example of why you should always check the details of an item before clicking "buy" when you purchase something online. Redditor cewallace9's picture shows a normal sized cat, and the teeny, tiny miniature cat scratching post he or she accidentally purchased for said cat on Amazon. Oops.

Yeah, this cat's not going to get a whole lot of use out of that scratching post.

The picture was posted along with the words, "Note to self...check the dimensions of EVERYTHING before ordering on Amazon..."

According to cewallace9, the listing even included the word "dollhouse" in the title, but somehow that was overlooked, and boom—miniature scratching post.

It's also an excellent opportunity for this cat to practice its "not impressed" look, which is a staple in every cat's repertoire.

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You haven't lived till you've seen an iPhone get slow-motion dunked in molten aluminum.

January 4, 2017, 7:07 am
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You might be thinking that dropping an iPhone into red hot liquid aluminum is a huge waste of money. But don't worry—this is an iPhone 6s. It's as good as trash anyway.

YouTube anarchists TheBackyardScientist and GizmoSlip joined forces to create this video, pooling their money and metallurgic expertise to give the internet a visceral demonstration of the ultimate symbol of commercialism and globalization being destroyed by sheer physics. Or maybe they just thought it would look sick. And it does.

If you want to recreate this experience at home, you don't have to melt your own aluminum. Just buy a Samsung Note 7 and wait.

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The trailer for the Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds documentary will make you cry and call your mom.

January 4, 2017, 7:18 am
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The devastating one-two punch of the loss of mother-daughter duo Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds hurts, and HBO has bumped up the release of their bittersweet documentary in memoriam.

Bright Lights: Starring Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds focuses on their relationship, as mother and daughter, mentors and neighbors. The two-minute trailer highlights their special relationship and repartee, with archival footage and interviews during their final (ouch) years as neighbors.

“I’m my mom’s best friend. Far more than I would ever want to, I know what my mother feels and wants,” Carrie says.

It's like Gilmore Girls. But real.

Call your mom. She misses you. She loves you. And the bond between mother and child is among the most special on this earth and beyond.

Mom, if you're reading this, I miss you and love you and oy I'm verklempt.

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Man who 'lost' his car finds it was right under his nose the whole time.

January 4, 2017, 7:10 am
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If you are a human who drives a car, you've probably had a moment of panic when you can't remember what floor of the parking garage you left your car on. Can you imagine that moment of panic lasting six months? One man in the UK sure can.

According to Manchester Evening News, a man from Scotland borrowed his friend's car to drive down to Manchester, England for a concert back in June. He spent around five days trying to locate the car, even going around to different parking garages in the area, but was unable to locate it.

The car's owner reported it as lost or stolen back in August. All seemed lost until last Friday, when officers in Manchester located the seemingly abandoned BMW in the parking garage. They checked the records, found that the car had been reported lost/stolen, and contacted the owner with the good news.

The Greater Manchester Police took to Twitter to announce that the car had been located, at long last.

And, of course, they made a little joke about how much six months in a parking garage would cost.

They predict that a six month stint in the parking garage would cost around £5,000 (roughly $6,150). Yikes.

At least we're glad that the owner of the car has been reunited with his vehicle. Let this story inspire us all to download a Find-My-Car App. (Do they make those?)

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Katie Couric's makeup-free selfie is deeply relatable.

January 4, 2017, 7:20 am
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For years, Katie Couric's perfectly made-up face and meticulously coifed hair were the first things many Americans saw when they tuned in to Today every morning.

Happy birthday Matt! My favorite time of the year because for 9 days you are as old as I am! Enjoy! Xoxox

A photo posted by Katie Couric (@katiecouric) on

Couric is back on Today after a little 10-year hiatus to co-host the show with Matt Lauer this week (and you thought getting back into the swing of things after the weekend was hard.) Of course, that means impossibly early mornings to prepare for the broadcast, prompting Couric to upload this deeply relatable, makeup-free selfie.

Day 3 of @todayshow time to make the donuts. #firstmirrorselfie #lastmirrorselfie #omg

A photo posted by Katie Couric (@katiecouric) on

SAME, KATIE. SAME.

Messy hair, oversized pajamas and not a stitch of makeup— she certainly woke up like this. Of course, many news anchors and TV personalities don't want to show themselves looking this disheveled, but Couric is not afraid to show us that she is indeed human, which is pretty refreshing.

Plus, her look this morning is not even as bad as her look back in '97. Couric seemed grow a significant amount of hair while Lauer lost his.

Couric being brave enough to post her makeup-free selfie is just another reason to love the television reporter, who will appear on Today until Friday to celebrate Lauer's 20th year with the program.

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Snoop Dogg gifted Willie Nelson a most appropriate Christmas sweater.

January 4, 2017, 7:39 am
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Notorious weed-smoker Snoop Dogg and infamous pot-smoker Willie Nelson share many things in common, including their mutual love of marijuana and smoking marijuana. Apropos of ganja, here's the Christmas sweater Snoop Dogg gave Willie Nelson for the holidays.

Apparently, the two dudes run in the same weed circles, and even hosted their own personal 420 summit in Amsterdam once.

"This is the best thing I've ever heard in my lifetime," said Jimmy Fallon, who considers most things the best thing.

Snoop Dogg even gave Nelson a piece of chicken they both coveted.

Next up on your list of marijuana fantasies: Willie Nelson covers "The Next Episode." Make it happen, Fallon.

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Woman asks boyfriend to write 'persuasive essay' on why she should give him oral sex. He nails it.

January 4, 2017, 8:05 am
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Relationships are all about give and take. For example, in this situation, a woman named Hannah (@lovecloud on Twitter) said she'd gladly give her boyfriend a blowjob if he took the time to write an essay detailing why she should.

In a since deleted tweet, Hannah posted a text exchange between she and her boyfriend ("Man Candy"), in which she said, "I want a persuasive essay with a strong thesis statement written in MLA format on why I should suck your dick. Due by midnight tonight," and he replied, "I'll fucking do it."

And the dude seriously was happy to oblige, as evidenced by the essay he emailed her in response. He must reeeealllly want that blowjob. Nothing like a man with a big…thesis statement.

His essay argued, in essence, that she should blow him because it would improve her self-esteem. Hmm, questionable hypothesis, but okay. In part of his essay, he wrote,

Performing the act of fellatio on your amazing boyfriend surely includes you in the beneficiary. Recent studies and polls have found that there is indeed a correlation concerning the frequency of knob gobbling and a woman's improved self-esteem.

No word on whether or not the blowjob was actually given/received, but according to the Dude Comedy website, Hannah later commented on her tweet, saying,

FOR THOSE WONDERING: we have been dating for a year. Yes, I do plan on marrying him. No, I didn’t really expect him to write the essay. LOL

Ah, romance.

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Bear mascot can't keep it together while filming local car dealership commercial.

January 4, 2017, 8:15 am
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Commercials for local businesses are one of life's greatest, most hilarious joys. Is there anything better than a local car dealership commercial? Oh, right. Local car commercial outtakes, like these ones from White Bear Mitsubishi in Minnesota.

The car dealership recently shared outtakes online from its latest commercial shoot, filmed at Marlucci Arena (home of the University of Minnesota hockey team). It features the dealership's general manager, Richard Herod III, Minnesota's Golden Gopher mascot, and the dealership's white bear mascot.

The white bear is having just a little bit of trouble walking on the ice. I don't normally advocate laughing at the misfortunes of others, but, my God, that last bear fall is hilarious.

Let's get this bear some skates next time, guys. Okay?

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Pink Instagrams pic of daughter and newborn son that is just too cute.

January 4, 2017, 8:19 am
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Pink kept her pregnancy under wraps until the very last minute, but now that she and husband Carey Hart have welcomed their son Jameson Moon Hart into the family, she has no qualms about keeping fans updated with many pictures of him on social media.

The "So What" singer greeted the new year but uploading this adorable picture of her 5-year-old daughter Willow Sage cradling her newborn baby son, born on December 26th.

That's a smile of one proud big sis.

Willow is definitely a spitting image of her mother. She even is rocking the pink locks that gave her mom her namesake. Maybe Jameson will get a dye job once he has hair, too.

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Working out has really helped me turn my depression into narcissism.

January 4, 2017, 8:30 am
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Jenny McCarthy has no sympathy for Mariah Carey's disastrous New Year's Eve performance.

January 4, 2017, 8:57 am
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You've probably by now already heard all about the drama that unfolded during Mariah Carey's performance in Times Square on New Year's Eve. Carey and her team have been scrambling to explain what happened, placing blame on the show's production company, claiming that they purposely "sabotaged" her performance.

Jenny McCarthy, who co-hosted New Year's Rockin' Eve, has no sympathy for her. On her Sirius XM show, The Jenny McCarthy Show, McCarthy said she stopped feeling bad for Carey as soon as the pop diva started to place blame for her disastrous performance on Dick Clark Productions. McCarthy said:

I felt really bad for her, because it was that bad. … It was a complete train wreck. And likeDonnie [Wahlberg] said, being in this business, I know what it’s like to have your prompter go out. I know what it’s like to have my inner ears go out. It’s scary, and it’s like your brain malfunctions and you’re on live TV. So I was like, you know what, I have sympathy for her. My sympathy stopped, however, the moment she accused Dick Clark Productions of sabotaging her performance.

Jenny McCarthy spoke out in support of the production company, saying that if Dick Clark were alive today, "He'd be on air right now fighting back." She went on to say that for Mariah Carey “to defame [the production company is] so incredibly insulting for the group of people who work their balls off preparing and rehearsing for their musical guests.”

You can listen to the full segment below:

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New uncle has hilarious reason for dressing his best for the delivery room.

January 4, 2017, 9:02 am
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Iris Kessler and her family welcomed an exciting new addition when her sister Olivia gave birth to a baby girl, Carter.

When Olivia was in labor, their brother Grant for the occasion, ready to make sure that the baby respects his authority.

You know what they say: Dress for the job you want. And for this guy, it's that of "sophisticated uncle." He's got it all, down to the tie clip.

Twitter marveled at this move's adorable wholesomeness.

Iris followed up on the tweet, and Uncle Suave's scheme worked.

Carter salutes him, showing the utmost respect.

Congratulations to the Kesslers on the birth of Carter, and to Grant for making Barney Stinson proud.

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Smash Mouth gets into bizarre conversation with Twitter fan about oral sex.

January 4, 2017, 9:15 am
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Whoever is running Smash Mouth's Twitter is as wild as the band's 90s pop punk beats. We can't be sure who exactly is in charge of the account. It could be an unpaid intern, or it could be lead vocalist Steve Harwell. Or maybe Steve Harwell is an unpaid intern. But whoever it is, they're out of control.

After creating controversy in December for tasteless tributes to deceased celebrities like Carrie Fisher and George Michael, Smash Mouth's Twitter is back at it, engaging a fan in an enthusiastic but truly bizarre back-and-forth about oral sex.

That lothario probably never expected Smash Mouth to respond. And yet…

At least we finally know where the name "Smash Mouth" comes from.

On the one hand, it's a positive message. But coming from the band that did the music for Shrek, it's kind of weird.

Nevertheless, the fans were into it.

Am I the only one who thinks this is weird? Has the world finally rolled me? I guess I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed.

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My version of Dry January is only drinking Chardonnay.

January 4, 2017, 9:34 am
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What is Mandy Moore doing inside this shower in Queens?

January 4, 2017, 9:36 am
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Some folks bought an apartment in Queens this week, and made the startling discovery that their new bathroom came complete with this stunning work of art.

Specifically, it's Mandy Moore... in tile.

This is the tile art of bad tattoos, but yes, it's her.

What? Why? How? And are they sure its Mandy Moore?

Consider this evidence presented in a text shared with friend and Twitter user Peter W. Kaplan.

That photo really seals it, just like the grout (sorrynotsorry).

When a discovery of this nature comes along, you have no right to keep it to yourself. Kaplan shared the pic to Twitter, and of course it immediately went viral, getting thousands of shares and likes.

The reactions were profound.

It begat a new artistic genre.

It inspired others to share their experiences with humans trapped in shower tiles.

But the big question is, does Mandy Moore know about this? If she didn't before, she does now.

That's pretty much the nicest response you could ask a celebrity to have regarding their likeness being immortalized and then covered in soap scum. And this brings us to the most important point...

"You might want to scrub the hell out of that shower floor before stepping in."

Remember, cleanliness is next to Mandy-ness

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Why is Matt Lauer wearing a choker?

January 4, 2017, 9:48 am
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Matt Lauer is a true renaissance man, always up on the latest trends and fashions. So maybe that would explain why he was donning a man choker on the Today Show Wednesday morning.

Matt Lauer announced on the show that "“chokers for men are a thing now too. Asos has a wide selection of male chokers, some in velvet and others in cotton." But according to Lauer, "they're late to the game because, guys, I have been wearing a choker for years." Lauer then unbuttoned the top of his dress shirt to reveal a very tasteful black velvet man choker, much to the delight of his Today Show co-anchors. What a fashionista he is.

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Wendy's tweeted and deleted a racist meme because they didn't know what it was.

January 4, 2017, 9:57 am
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After winning Twitter's hearts by accomplishing what Hillary Clinton couldn't—no, not winning the Electoral College—and getting a dude to delete their account, Wendy's made a big social media oopsie.

When asked for memes, Wendy slipped up and posted a cute lil' adaptation of the Anti-Defamation League designated hate symbol, Pepe the Frog. It was only up for 15 minutes, but, y'know, screenshots.

Wendy's quickly deleted after the first page of a Google search yields, y'know, this.

Wendy's quickly apologize, insisting that they were unaware of the alt-right connection.

But Twitter had some fun trolling right back.

Alt-right folk were angry, likely believing that Ronald McDonald would never do such a thing.

It aint easy to be a Nazi sometimes.

Fast food chains will play games with your heart, if you have one.

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We all know how to get 'suburban mom drunk,' thanks to this wine shop's honest review.

January 4, 2017, 9:45 am
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Sometimes you don't want to hear about the tannins and fermentation process of the grapes while picking out a wine—you just want something that is going to get you good and drunk. This review left by someone named "Jeff W." gets right to the point, promising that this alcohol will get you "suburban mom drunk." Even if you never heard that phrase before, you know exactly what it means.

There is something special about being "suburban mom drunk." It's not quite "white girl wasted" but definitely above a buzz, so just imagine a bunch of mini-vans parked outside a house throwing a very lit pocketbook party where all the ladies have necklaces with their kids' birthstones dangling off them. Each woman has a novelty wine glasses with phrases like "Not a day over fabulous!" and "Mommy's sippy cup" hand painted on them. After a few drinks, all the moms agree that Viggo Mortensen is very good-looking before they all talk viciously sh*t about Sandy, some other PTA mom who wasn't invited to this affair.

Get it?

You know the type.

The only thing that seems inconstant is that this wine seems to be in a bottle, as opposed to a box.

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