Quantcast
Channel: someecards.com
Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live

A nurse got fired for posting an Instagram from an operating room.

0
0


Katie Duke, still nursing, still selfie-ing. (Via Instagram)

If you are really into summertime TV and/or gore, you might recognize Katie Duke from the ABC reality series NY Med, which follows Dr. Oz and the staffers of New York Presbyterian and Newark University Hospital as they save lives in really gross ways. Katie Duke was one of the IRL nurses on the show, until recently when the hospital fired her for an Instagram she posted.


(Screencap via NY Med)

Duke's Instagram post—or as she calls it on the show, "online social media post" (you gotta pay ABC if you want them to say your name on the air, Instagram!)—shows an empty trauma room after treating a man who had been hit by a subway. The caption reads "Man Vs 6Train... The After" followed by a bunch of hashtags. 


96 likes?! Worth it! (Screencap via NY Med)

After seven years in the ER, Duke was fired by her supervisor at New York Presbyterian because it was felt that the post was insensitive

Keep in mind, this is a hospital that signed off on having a camera crew aiming a lens at every bloody gash and screaming face brought through its doors. Hell, they're even cool with having Dr. Oz around. But Instagram is over the line? What if she'd simply tagged herself on Facebook, "at NY Presbo, saving asses again," would that be fire-able? (Answer: yeah, probs.)

This could be a case of old media fighting off the new, with ABC desperately struggling to keep their shit on the TV and not letting anything leak, even the slightest little tidbit. 

But more likely, it's a matter of context, and this is just further proof that everything looks worse when it's online. Sandwich your pic of an ER aftermath in between your selfies and that pic of the perfect grapefruit you found at Whole Foods, and you look insensitive. 

From now on, if you want to take pics at work, put them in a scrapbook and invite your 16K followers over to flip through in your living room. After all, isn't that the only way to test who your real followers are?

Katie Duke will probably be fine, given that she has a website with a merch page where you can buy water bottles and t-shirts bearing the slogan, "Deal With It," her catch-phrase, apparently. It's a mantra you have to embrace when working alongside Dr. Oz all day.

(by Bob Powers)


You can buy .gop domain names as of today. Do with this knowledge what you will.

0
0


The GOP likes turtles.

The Republicans, ever the trendsetters online, are now selling .gop domain names to the general public. Presumably, they were hoping to recreate the thrill and excitement we all remembered so well from the rollout of .biz, .us, and .xxx.  As Will Martinez, vice president of sales and marketing at .GOP told the Wall Street Journal, “It creates that connection between a teenager trying to start a blog, all the way to a college group to candidates." Totally. All that will have to wait until .gop gets up and running, however, because today the domain belongs to snarky people on the Internet who are searching and in some case registering addresses that most loyal netizens of the .gop domain would find very distasteful. 

.


Would have been a popular site in 2008. (via Good Ass .GOP Domains)

.


Potato salad has never been hotter. If it's going to run, it's gotta run now.
(via Good Ass .GOP Domains)

I wish I could say that all of my personal queries were dry political observations:


I'LL SAY.

But really, I think my most important finding was that this is still available:


I like to go for the low-hanging fruit.

What really interested me, though, was the pricing scheme. $20.16 is the lowest possible price (2016, get it?), and then some domains are more expensive, like "turtles." Then, there's the premium list. This is for the stuff they won't just give out to anyone. It's got to be special.


Aww, man. And I really wanted to direct Republican drug policy.

.

Some of the premium domains make you wonder, though:


Really thinking ahead about the people's demand for GOP selfies in 2016.

.


Not unless you're the right kind of person to own this domain, apparently.

I'm sure most of that can be explained with...something, but what I can't explain is how I found all these awesome GOPeriffic domain names that haven't been snatched up yet:


Maybe Jeb can finally make it to the finals.

.


I regret looking at that...and it doesn't even exist yet.

.


We need to take over this domain before the terrorists get the opportunity.

.


C'mon, everyone loves that, right? It's something everyone can get behind.

.


Sigh. It was inevitable.

So head over to join.gop and see what kind of hilarious sites you can imagine (or, if you've got the cash, buy). Or, you know. Join. You can also check out Good Ass .GOP Domains for more of the best examples found today.

(by Johnny McNulty)

The guy who fell asleep during a Yankee game would like $10 million for his pain and suffering.

0
0


He doesn't look that sensitive.

UPDATE: The guy who fell asleep during a Yankees game and was goofed on by the announcers that you'd already forgotten about would now like to be known as a guy with no sense of humor that is suing anyone remotely connected to the incident for 10 million dollars

That guy is Andrew Robert Rector, who was at a Yankees-Red Sox game back on April 13th, and by the 4th inning was doing what most people do after watching 3 innings of baseball in April, catching Zs and dreaming about football. Except that most people are at home on their couch when they conk out, not sitting at the game while it's airing on ESPN.

When the camera cut to Rector, the game's announcers had some lighthearted fun at his expense, wondering how long he'd been asleep and speculating about a potential neck cramp. The worst thing said in the clip was when play-by-play man Dan Schulman asked his partner Jon Kruk if Rector was a relative, alluding to the fact that neither of them have a future in swimsuit modeling.

In the suit, Rector claims the announcers portrayed him as a "fatty cow that need two seats at all time and represent symbol of failure," as if he was George Costanza eating ice cream at the US Open. The bizarre wording makes is seem like Rector may be much harder on himself than Kruk or Schulman. It also makes it seem like Rector wrote it while still half asleep (Kidding! Don't sue).

Now Rector and his lawyer believe the used car salesman's pain will be eased by a fat (Again...) payday. From the New York Post:

Rector was made out to be “a confused individual that neither understands nor knows anything about history and the meaning of rivalry between Red Sox and New York Yankee.”

As a result, the used-car dealer claims to have “suffered substantial injury” to his “character and reputation,” as well as “mental anguish, loss of future income and loss of earning capacity.

Put simply, he's taking it pretty hard. Which means he'll likely be really upset when his suit is thrown out by a judge familiar with the legalese on the back of a MLB baseball ticket.

If nothing else, even if the suit gets thrown out of court, I have a feeling he won't be losing any sleep over it.

(by Jonathan Corbett)

A man and woman discover why it's dangerous to mix romance and time travel.

0
0


Time is a flat heart-shaped figure.

Let this short film from Bo MirosseniElisha Yaffe an Stephanie Hunt serve as a lesson to any young lovers out there who might be tempted to take things a little fast. And by "things," I mean "utilizing quantum physics in an effort to traverse the fourth dimension so as to deliver potentially dangerous information to previous incarnations of themselves." Take it slow, guys. Relax. Enjoy the ride. You have all the time in the world. Or, to be more precise, you have all the times in the world.

(by Dennis DiClaudio)

Couple has their wedding anniversary on the wing of a commercial jet.

0
0


There's...something...romantic...on the wing!

Comedian Mark Malkoff has made a lot of cool videos involving long-term, quirky stunts. In 2009, he lived on a commercial jet for 30 days straight in order to get over his fear of flying (and score himself a Guinness World Record). He couldn't shower or ever enter the terminal, but there was only one part of the entire process that really counted as a "problem": his wedding anniversary was right in the middle of his month-long plane imprisonment.

So, his hosts at AirTran arranged for he and his wife Christine Peel-Malkoff to dine on the wing of the airliner that was serving as his home away from home. This occurred at Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson airport, which is apparently where AirTran hides their gourmet chefs. It's a pretty charming meal, and Mark seems like a good enough comedian to avoid too many airline food jokes (plus, the chef is right there, so...).

I don't know why this took five years to come out, but I'm glad it did. Check out some of Mark Malkoff's other videos, like the time he and his wife spent 48 hours handcuffed to each other.

(by Johnny McNulty)

There's now a vibrator with a GoPro camera to create the most personal selfies ever.

0
0


"Ooh... now slightly to the left and two feet higher."

If you're a lady who read the recent post about the device that allows men to have sex with their tablets and thought, "what about my weird needs?" then I've got some great news for you. Svakom Design has made a vibrator with a GoPro camera attachment that will allow you to get so far up in your own business you might be tempted to bill yourself for an ultrasound.

For some reason it's called the Gaga - because they're both weird by design? Overexposed? Look better in the dark? Meat suit? I have no idea. Whatever the reason, if you're in the middle of a bad romance and want to go full paparazzi with a little poker face and then some (I think I just found the reason), then check out the shockingly SFW video.

Still interested? Really? Then you can buy the Svakom Gaga here. While you're at it, you might want to pick up some Pjur Med Clean Doekjes.

(by Jonathan Corbett)

Level playing field.

Lots of love.


You won't believe Google's doodle following the Germany-Brazil game.

If only.

The 8 pictures every guy on Tinder thinks they need to have.

0
0

You are a dude, and you are on Tinder. As such you know the best way to play it is to swipe right on everything that comes across your screen so that you only expend your energy choosing from matches.

Unfortunately, the women on the other end are actually looking at your pictures and shallowly making judgements about you. Based on my research (a year of Tindering/screen-grabbing pictures of dudes and making fun of them with my friends), here are the 8 pictures every guy on Tinder believes he needs to have to get the swipe right.

1) With a baby

There's no better way to prove that you haven't been convicted of a sex crime than being photographed with youth. Plus, holding a baby is a great way to let your potential suitors know a) You have two arms b) Wait, you only have one arm? How are you holding that baby? c) Ohhh, you have a fake arm. 

Note: Don't forget to put "not my baby" in your bio.

2) With your boys

Show 'em you don't even need a dating app! You already have a killer social life as evidenced by you and your five bros who all wear the same blue-striped button-down shirt (AKA Button-Downs Syndrome). You are a busy man about town and the only time you have to search for online gash is when you're taking an expensive coke dump into a black porcelain nightclub toilet. Don't forget to not flush!

3) With your girls

Who is that? Is that his girlfriend? Wow, she's so beautiful. Would he think I'm beautiful enough to hang out with him? I better swipe right and message him right away before this woman snatches my soul mate right out of my hands. Hand me a towel, I've just carved his name and number of shared interests into my arm.

4) Without your shirt

The only way to let someone know you have a smoking hot body is to have a smoking hot body. If your body looks like an uncooked, unshelled lobster, don't worry. You can always photoshop your head onto someone else's better body. Or, better yet, hold off on Tinder for a year and spend six days a week, two hours a day, at the gym instead. Focus on weight, not reps. And, for all that Tinder is holy, if you are going to go to the gym, take selfies of yourself while you are there! 

5) On top of a mountain

You could schedule a trip to climb a mountain, or just take a helicopter to the top, it doesn’t matter because once you've got that picture you can pretty much just jump off that mountain into a valley of pussy. Ditto for jumping out of a plane. 

6) Jumping out of a plane

Fact: If you want to use your genitals you're going to have to face death first. Or look like you did. Hell, this guy is still on the plane but but it is enough to get the imagination cranking. Plus, now you can offer to show her the video of the jump in a quiet location, like your couch. You'll be boning before that plane reaches altitude. 

Note: Take this plane to the top of a mountain and get a twofer. 

7) With a group of tribal children

Bonus points if they are wearing a t-shirt from Friends or any losing NBA Championship team. If you're worried that visiting an impoverished tribal region will enrich you in some way, try a lesser commitment, like signing up for the Big Brother program. 

Note: If you don't want (or are not allowed to have) your arm around strange children you can always photoshop yourself in front of a National Geographic photo, just make sure to wear a bandana for authenticity.

8) With an exotic animal

This is a classic. The best ones are tigers in Thailand, but make sure they have been properly zonked full of tiger prozac. You don't want to end up like whichever Siegfried or Roy got his face eaten cause then people might think you're gay. No tiger prozac? No problem! I'm pretty sure this dude is on a tiger rug but if you blur out the edges of the pic it's hard to tell. If only you could do the same cheat for picture #1 with a baby rug.

Ok, so that was your 8 must-have pictures. Tinder only lets you use 6, but just in case they up their allowance here are some runner-ups that couldn't hurt to keep in your back pocket:

- Meeting the president

- Meeting a famous person

- Being a famous person

- Aspiring to be a famous person (just holding a microphone or instrument on a stage will do)

- In front of a foreign landmark

- On a boat

- On a camel

- On a surfboard

- On a surfbordt

- In a fancy office

- In a Hummer limo

- In a person

(by Myka Fox)

Over heating.

5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - July 9, 2014

0
0

1. Brazil Suffers Its Greatest Loss Since Nerdy, White People Stole Samba Music

It's bad enough that Brazil had to suffer a humiliating 7-1 defeat at the hands of Germany in yesterday's semi-final World Cup game, one that sent its fans into ululating fits of unimaginable despair. But now, as it turns out, that game has become the most talked about sporting event in the history of Twitter. But, on the plus side, the World Cup host nation did manage to deliver an historic tournament.


2. Rosie O'Donnell To Replace Jenny McCarthy As Resident Annoying Conspiracy Theorist On 'The View'

ABC has announced that it will be replacing the foul-mouthed vaccine-conspiracy theorist and former MTV host Jenny McCarthy with the loud-mouthed 9/11-conspiracy theorist and former VH1 host Rosie O'Donnell on The View.


3. Sarah Palin Calls For Obama's Impeachment — Or, Failing That, Your Attention

In an op-ed for Breitbart.com, half-term Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin has demanded that U.S. Congress begin the process of removing President Obama from office. "It’s time to impeach; and on behalf of American workers and legal immigrants of all backgrounds, we should vehemently oppose any politician on the left or right who would hesitate in voting for articles of impeachment."


4. J.K. Rowling Releases Her Own 'Harry Potter' Fan Fiction

Best-selling fantasy author J.K. Rowling recently published a new story in which her iconic character Harry Potter is a thirty-something guy with a regular job who's still obsessed with wizard stuff. It's kind of the perfect story for Rowling's fan base.


5. Study: You're Not Fat Because You Ate A Whole Jar Of Mayonnaise —You're Fat Because You Used A Hoveround To Get It

According to a new study, Americans aren't ingesting any more calories than they were twenty years ago. Increased obesity rates instead can likely be blamed on the fact that most of us wouldn't exercise if our lives depended on it. Which it kind of does.  


(by Dennis DiClaudio)

Barack Obama survived an encounter with a horse-headed man on the streets of Denver.

0
0

So, President Obama was in Denver, Colorado—where, it's worth noting, smoking marijuana is totally legal now—and this happened...

Honestly, I don't know what takes more balls: to be a guy attempting to shake hands with the President of the United States while wearing a horse head mask, or to be a President who agrees to shake hands with a guy wearing a horse head mask. Either end of this exchange seems somewhat fraught. I'm really happy that this came and went without incident, though. Mostly because I'd hate to see that horse head mask take on any more cultural significance than it already has. (Ugh, that thing.)

My favorite part of this whole ordeal is the nicely dressed woman patiently waiting for her turn to meet the President, as though she wasn't standing next to a guy wearing a horse head mask. She's the real MVP.

As weird as this is, it's actually not the strangest anthropomorphic encounter that a sitting president has ever had. Remember that time Bill Clinton hung out with that guy who had a lump of uncooked sourdough for a head?

(by Dennis DiClaudio)

A comedian ranted about how terrible dance music is, so a DJ turned his rant into dance music.

0
0


This is probably a pretty accurate re-enactment of his reaction.

Comedian Bill Burr is, among many other things, the host of the very popular Monday Morning Podcast. In this week's episode (at bottom), Burr went into a rant about raves. Specifically, he ranted about how terrible electronic dance music (EDM) is. Referring to it as "that DJ music," he then started doing an annoying hum and predicted that a club DJ would be able to turn it into a successful song. Well, one of his listeners, a Harvard-educated, world-touring DJ named Raffael De Luca, took him up on this challenge and made a head-bobbing club track that legitimately could be a hit song:

I'm not going to lie, I've just left his song on loop since I started writing this (not that it's easy to tell that it's on loop—it's EDM, after all). So, what did De Luca actually think about what Burr had to say? Well, as the DJ told Laughspin

"Bill Burr is dead on. It was refreshing hearing it come from an outsider’s perspective. I made this song in about 40 minutes to show how screwed up the EDM scene is and how little to no work needs to be done to make the songs.” 

I'm sure Burr thought it was hilarious (until he decided he couldn't stand it any longer, that is). Good work, Raffael. I've got some really good screeds about how much quirky hipster music from the 2000s sucks if any twee people out there want to turn it into a charming acoustic tune using anachronistic instruments. 

Here's the original episode if you want to hear Burr's rant:


(by Johnny McNulty)


Pornhub begs fans to stop uploading World Cup clips of Brazil getting f-ed by Germany.

0
0


Check out their goal face. (via IMGUR)

Stunned by the worst defeat in World Cup history for a team on their own soil, fans felt that the amount Brazil got "fucked" during their astonishing 7-1 loss to Germany was enough to qualify as porn, so they started uploading clips of the game to popular porn site Pornhub with titles like "Young Brazilians get fucked by entire German Soccer Team."

Apparently, enough of these clips went up that Pornhub took to Twitter to beg users to let the joke go, so that dedicated porn connoisseurs could continue their jacking without obstruction.

Haha, public humiliation category. Good one, Pornhub. 

But don't worry, fap fans, your fav jerk joint still has what you really went there to find. As a responsible journalist and jackspert, I went to Pornhub to investigate this flood of World Cup mockery for myself. When I did a cursory search for "Brazil," "Germany," and "World Cup," I still got "porn," "porn," and "porn." 

Note: If you are looking for a legitimate crossover between the World Cup and porn, videos of the fans could work. You know, if watching people crying is what you're into.

(by Myka Fox)

A tiny hedgehog had a tiny birthday party with tiny cakes for his tiny hamster friends.

0
0


That's exactly the satisfied face every hedgehog chef wants to see.

This video was created by Hello Denizen, the YouTube channel that started the whole Tiny Animals Eating Tiny Prepared Foods movement with their debut hit, "Tiny Hamsters Eating Tiny Burritos." Soon, there were imitators, like the irreverent and un-capitalized short film, "Tiny hamster eating a tiny pizza." But this newest entry, Tiny Birthday For A Tiny Hedgehog, is undoubtedly the magnum opus of the entire "miniature creatures nibbling miniature human food prepared by stressed-out human chefs" genre.

Just when you thought the entire idea of hamsters eating things was dead, they take everyone and place them in a mind-blowing new setting that makes everything feel fresh and young again: a hedgehog's tiny birthday party.

We live in exciting times.

(by Johnny McNulty)

This little boy's reaction to a surprise trip to Disney World is not what his parents were hoping.

0
0


Monsters what?

When these parents packed up the car, got the kids strapped in and broke out the camera to reveal the big surprise, they were probably expecting their kids to be thrilled to find out they were headed to Disney World. They were half right. The daughter is all-in. Gavin, however, responds as if he just found out his parents are sending him to an all-girls school called Cootie Elementary.

The problem could be the clue that tipped off his sister, because the first word she says is "monsters." If she'd pulled out an item and said "Mickey," or "Ariel," things might've turned out differently. But when your kid is four and finds out the family is headed to a place with monsters, all bets are off.

This isn't the first time a surprise Disney trip has made a child cry. Sometimes the whole gang bums out. And it's not just Disney trips - springing a new little brother on a kid can be stressful as well. 

If you are going to surprise your kids with anything, it's probably best to avoid mentioning monsters.

(by Jonathan Corbett)

A big splash.

A local nightclub made a promo video that was so bad, it became an instant Internet classic.

0
0


This guy is really feeling how viral this video is.

The next time you're in the English city of Preston (pop. 114,000), be sure to check out the hottest nightclub in town and on the Internet, Bounce by the Ounce. This local gem recently made a promo video to attract new visitors, and it was so effective that it racked up almost 8 times Preston's population in views in the month since it was released. What was the secret to their viral marketing success? Two words: Crazy Guy. I've cued the promo video up so you can skip straight to his glory (it's at 1:40 in case you need to find it):

This one club goer, who looks like someone gave a vampire-zombie from I Am Legend way too much MDMA, has secured Bounce by the Ounce a place in the Bad Local Commercials Hall Of Fame. Not that the owners of Bounce by the Ounce sounded happy about it on Facebook (although they did sound EXACTLY how I'd imagine English nightclub owners to sound):


Let's just hope they don't see this article.

Some have wondered whether it's mean for websites to make fun of a small business in a small city for their low-budget ad that was only meant to be seen by local audiences. To those people, I say "this is what the Internet was built for." Well, it was built to share information between computers at the Department of Defense, leading research universities, and defense contractors, but immediately after that, the most important original use for the Internet was sharing ridiculous local ads that you previously had to painstakingly capture on VHS and then physically show someone in person.

That, and for making new videos like this 10 minute loop of Crazy Guy dancing.

I wouldn't consider the ad a failure. Bounce to the Ounce is officially the #1 (and only) item on my list of things to do in Preston, UK, a.k.a. "The Place To Go Crazy." 

(by Johnny McNulty)

Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live




Latest Images