This International Women's Day, may your boss take credit for your ideas as often as your male counterpart's.
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JK Rowling has the perfect response for dudes complaining about International Women's Day: facts.
March 18th is International Women's Day, and men feel left out. Much like most non-groundhogs beg for their turn on Groundhog Day, males on Twitter are wondering when it will finally be their turn to be celebrated.
Hundreds of people are asking Twitter (even though Google exists) are asking simple question: When's international men's day?
Well, gentleman, Google has an answer for you:
JK Rowling, master of Twitter, creator of Wizarding Worlds, pinned this tweet to her profile for the day to keep men informed.
Apologies to the gentleman who have to wait until November to have their accomplishments celebrated and their challenges highlighted.
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Today is the one day out of 365 that we honor half the planet.
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I'm looking for a wine that my date won't mansplain to me.
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Twitter rallies to help girl dump controlling boyfriend who gets 'sad' when she sees friends.
A tweet posted by student Ciara Behrens is raising red flags all over the internet, and causing strangers to band together in the hopes of ending a toxic relationship before it gets even further out of control. In the tweet, Behrens shared texts between an unnamed friend and her boyfriend, who flat-out forbade her from seeing her friends. Behrens asked her 953 followers to retweet it if they thought her friend should kick this chump to the curb.
Not only did Behrens's followers agree that this guy has to go, but her tweet quickly spread way beyond that. Currently, almost 80,000 retweeters have shown their support for this relationship coming to an end yesterday. And their comments are brutal.
Of course, some naysayers surfaced to blame the victim. That always happens.
Afterward, this whole situation turned into a flame war. And Behrens was caught in the middle. She finally responded to everyone bugging her for an update (and for the boyfriend's home address so they could beat him up).
Boom.
And not a moment too soon.
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Vladimir Putin's dead-eyed #InternationalWomensDay message terrifies the entire internet.
As people celebrate International Women's Day around the world, Vladimir Putin doesn't want to miss out on the fun. The President of Russia congratulated women via an English-language Kremlin Twitter handle, and just look at how loved and comfortable he wants you to feel on this special day.
Yes. The dead eyes and zero smile of a warm congratulations. Please clap.
Reactions were of the OMFG variety, and this might be the time to familiarize yourself with Russia's recent vote to decriminalize some domestic violence:
But a mortifying stare isn't all you get for International Women's Day! Just click the tiny URL and read Vladimir Putin's full, eloquent message for the women of the world.
Featuring such lines as (emphasis mine): "Even today, on International Women’s Day, you are still caught up in your routine, working tirelessly, always on time. We often ask ourselves, how do they manage it all?"
How nice, Vladimir Putin speaking for all men and saying women are always on time. What a nice compliment? DO NOT BE LATE. Anyway, how do women manage it all? Well, it's not that they can do it all themselves. Enjoy another line from Putin's message:
"That said, women also need men’s support. We will remember that always, not only today. We will do our outmost to surround the women we love with care and attention, so that they can smile more often."
We've all heard how much women love being told they should smile more. And if you've forgotten how, here, this guy sets a contagious example:
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Celebrities from Adele to Pee-wee Herman are sharing empowering messages for International Women's Day.
People around the world celebrate International Women's Day on March 8th, whether they're participating in the Women's Strike or simply spreading the love on social media. Celebrities are getting in on the action, and many of them are even sharing pictures of people other than themselves!
Chelsea Handler
LeBron James
Patricia Arquette
Ellen DeGeneres
Jared Leto
Yoko Ono
Cara Delevigne
Katy Perry
Russell Brand
Tamron Hall
Lindsay Lohan
Sarah Silverman
Mark Ruffalo (ft. Danny DeVito!)
Pee-wee Herman
Queen Latifah
Alicia Keys
Lily Allen
Kris Jenner
Cole Sprouse
Adele
David Beckham
Amy Schumer
Kerry Washington
Jenna Dewan-Tatum
Blake Lively
Rob Kardashian
Karlie Kloss
Madonna
Mayim Bialik
Lena Dunham
Priyanka Chopra
Gabourey Sidibe
Kim Kardashian West
Joss Whedon
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It's an honor to be on strike from trying to look busy all day at work.
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Net-a-Porter accidentally uploads image revealing just how much they photoshop their models.
Luxury retailer Net-a-Porter is in hot water over a slipup on their online catalog that inadvertently revealed how they use Photoshop to retouch images of their models. The incident happened on the listing for their Maria La Rosa Sailor Man socks. As you can see below, some hapless webmaster accidentally uploaded a version of the photo with annotations instructing the graphic designer on how to retouch it.
The image in question features a model named Amelia wearing the socks. Here's a closeup:
On the image, blue lines seem to target areas that the company wants reduced. At least one is labeled "Please, slim."
Of course, Net-a-Porter quickly fixed the mistake. Currently, the product page displays the image without annotations (or Photoshop, interestingly).
A spokesman for Net-a-Porter apologized, and explained the error.
We post images that accurately represent the garments so that customers receive product they expect. This image was uploaded to our product page in error and the notes refer exclusively to the garments.
There are a couple problems with that explanation. One: the ad is for socks. Why would they be retouching the other items? Two: how does photoshopping images of your clothes help you "accurately represent" them?
If nothing else, this story demonstrates how insidiously photo retouching has crept into every facet of our lives. It's a cruel irony that the same technology that makes memes so hilarious is also used to make us feel bad about our bodies.
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I’d go on strike today if I trusted the men in my office to accomplish anything.
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I'm celebrating International Women’s Day by both wearing red and drinking it.
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Farting kid crashes weather report to make his butt's voice heard.
Meteorologist Patrick Ellis was updating Mississippians on the weather on Saturday when a kid jumped in to pass wind.
Mississippi, already prone to tornados, will be plagued by a series of "toots," according to the guest star. The rambunctious little man tries his best to fart on demand, angling towards Ellis to let 'er rip.
The child's identity remains a mystery, but is sure to have a great career in Arrested Development chicken impressions.
According to Thrillist, Ellis shared the clip on Facebook, writing, "All I'm going to say is watch out for the 'toots' across central Mississippi." Don't forget about the farts, too.
Oh, what a gas.
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Let’s make zero effort to hide our tampons this International Women’s Day
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Catholic school's 21-page prom dress code is just as sexist as it sounds.
Boylan Catholic High School just dropped a hot tome in the laps of the boys and girls of Rockford, IL in the form of a prom dress code. That's right, they've written 21 luminous pages of "what not to wear" to help their students have the most fun possible (within the rules of course!) at the big party that our culture has told them will be the biggest deal of their teenage lives.
Now, gentleman, if you're confused about what you're supposed to wear to the most amazing experience of your young life, don't you worry. Because Boylan's got four incredible images of men in suits to guide you towards the dapper look you're going for. They also remind you that you're expected to wear either a "tuxedo, suit with a tie, or sport coat and slacks with a tie."
And ladies? Where do I begin, because the remainder of the guidebook is dedicated entirely to you. Boylan has provided the lovely young women about to head off to college with 57 images reminding them how they should—and, of course, should not—dress. Wow, thanks Boylan! Now, girls, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that this isn't fair. Why should the boys barely receive any guidelines for how to dress for prom, meanwhile you are given strict rules on how low, high, strappy, or mesh things are allowed to be? And you know what? You're right! It definitely isn't. But the truth of the matter is that we live in a society that often defaults to promoting rape culture. Women are treated as sexual objects who could potentially distract and arouse young men, causing them to do all kinds of things that boys are wont to do, due to their penis areas.
Oh, and if you're an LGBT student, this manual is sure to make you feel really out of place and horrible. Chances are, if you don't conform to Boylan's gender-normative understanding of traditional dress for prom, you could get in trouble. But, prom will definitely be so fun!
Now, I'd like to take a moment to point out one of my favorite lines in the entire book, which is on page nine: "Some girls may wear the same dress, but due to body types, one dress may be acceptable while the other is not." Is that line obliquely body shaming women who might have fuller figures? You bet it is! But that's because Boylan wants to make sure that all of you have a great time at prom, and what is prom if everyone isn't feeling extreme shame over their bodies, especially those who don't conform to the media's portrayal of the ideal female body type?
How is this real? That's a really great question. But I'm really glad Refinery29 brought it to my attention, because today is International Women's Day, and this insane double-standard-filled dress code is just another example of how sexism continues to persist in 2017. If we instill these types of judgments in girls and boys when they are not even out of high school, we are complicit in creating a culture that systemically supports sexism, even if we're telling women to apply for whatever college they want and take STEM classes. Plus, prom is weird enough as it is! Let these kids live! Just a suggestion, but I think a great use of paper would be printing out these dress code guidelines and setting them on fire. Just an idea. You can read (and print out!) the whole book here.
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New study says we're boning a lot less than we did in the 90's.
It's not just the intoxicating nostalgia that's got us thinking the 90's were way better than the twenty-teens (?). A new study shows that adults are having sex fewer times per year on average than we were 20 years ago, The Guardianreports.
After surveying nearly 27,000 individuals, researchers found that adults "were having sex seven fewer times annually in the early 2010s compared to the early 1990s, and nine fewer times compared to the late 1990s." I want to unpack this for a moment, because what this means is that the late 90's were peak season for trips to Bone Town, USA. Yes, even though the early 90's were still better for sex than the 2010s, the late 90's were even better. Now, this is mere speculation, but is it possible that the dawning of Y2K made people wanna freak all the time because they figured they were all gonna die anyway? I am no scientists but I think I could be onto something.
Now, if we are indeed having less sex, does that mean we're less horny, less attractive, or less social? Maybe. But is that so bad? "It is very possible that for young people this is a conscious life choice," said Ryne Sherman, co-author of the study from Florida Atlantic University. The study also noted that millennials use social media and online streaming more than previous generations, but if you're trying to tell me people would rather scroll through Instagram than screw, I'd say it sounds like you're comparing apples and oranges. That being said, millennials are getting married later, and the study pointed out that being single longer can lead to having less sex, and that those in committed relationships have sex more frequently.
The study also offered up some expected though depressing news about the correlation between having sex and aging: "for each year after the age of 25, adults, on average, had sex 1.18 fewer times a year, corresponding to a fall from about 80 times a year for those in their mid twenties to about 20 times a year for those in their mid sixties." It's all downhill from here, folks!
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In honor of International Women's day, Billy Eichner tries to get a stranger to name any woman.
"Name a woman!"
"Name a woman?"
"Yes!"
"Um..."
On behalf of women everywhere I'd like to say thank you for your service, Billy. Yoga mat girl, I'd be more upset if I didn't genuinely believe you were terrified. You can watch the full clip of Billy On The Street: Lighting Round, which came out yesterday here:
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J. Lo and A-Rod are now dating so you better get used to ‘J. Rod.’
According to People, Jennifer Lopez is dating none other than retired Yankee and active ladies' man, Alex Rodriguez.
According to a source, the 47-year-old singer and the 41-year-old former baseball player have been an item for the past few weeks now. The anonymous source noted that J.Lo "seems excited" about the match, but is cautious about the new relationship given Alex Rodriguez's reputation.
And let's be real, A-Rod definitely has a type—famous women. The baseball player has been connected to everyone from Cameron Diaz to Kate Hudson to Madonna, and had just broken up with Silicon Valley CEO Anne Wojcicki last month. Hopefully J.Lo won't be just another notch in his bedpost.
Jennifer Lopez has a pretty impressive dating history as well. Besides being married to Marc Anthony, Lopez has been in high-profile romances with P Diddy, Drake, and, of course, Ben Affleck (BENNIFER FOREVER).
And with that, we the internet officially christen this couple "J.Rod." May they enjoy a coupledom full of photo-ops, free of scandals, and may is last longer than the typical celebrity mating period of two months. AMEN.
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Samuel L. Jackson reenacts almost all his movies in 11 minutes. There are some patterns.
Did you know Samuel L. Jackson's been in every movie ever? Revisiting a running sketch made famous by the Tom Hanks version, James Corden and Samuel L. Jackson took us through nearly the entire career of the Pulp Fiction actor, and it really gives Kong Island a lot to live up to. Because Die Hard with a Vengeance is a classic.
But seriously, Samuel L. Jackson's been in a lot of movies, and in the first handful he starred alongside a smoking gun. As the career goes on, Samuel L. Jackson puts down the firearm and picks up a lightsaber, starts to show off his singing voice, and insults James Corden for having zero shot at a Tarantino cameo. The dramatic monologue remains a staple throughout. There's something for everyone, because the man acts. A lot.
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Nicole Kidman has a pretty reasonable explanation for her super weird clapping.
There was so much craziness at the 2017 Academy Awards ceremony, what with the announcement of the wrong movie for Best Picture and all, that we almost forgot about Nicole Kidman's bizarre seal-clapping. But now the actor has spoken out about just why she was clapping in such a strange fashion. The reason? Her Harry Winston ring.
During an Australian radio interview, Nicole Kidman explained,
It was really awkward. I was like, "I wanna clap, I don’t wanna not be clapping"—that’d be worse, right? Like "Why isn’t Nicole clapping?" So therefore I’m clapping but it was really difficult because I had a huge ring on that was not mine—but it was absolutely gorgeous—and I was terrified of damaging it.
So there you have it. She was clapping that way so as not to damage an expensive ring on loan. But we can all still pretend she was going for Best Seal Performance At An Awards Show.
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Australians just learned about this one American kitchen hack and they're utterly disgusted.
If you want a glass of tea or a steaming styrofoam container of ramen, you might throw a cup of water in the microwave. And if you do, according to a fascinating report from BuzzFeed Australia, you're a caveman.
Hot water comes strictly from an electric kettle, according to Australian Twitter. You are a monster if you think otherwise. Even worse if you just don't own a kettle.
Full disclosure: we put roller coasters in malls, we steal soda refills, we argue incessantly about healthcare, and we heat up water in the microwave. But in our nation's proud defense: it's extremely simple—it takes approximately one second to sufficiently heat up, and the convenience is unimaginable. Australia, if you're listening, try this technique and then try making an egg in the microwave. It's also great.
But in the interest of healing our two countries' already-fractured relationship, there's a good reason for our two different perspectives.
According to a 2015 report from Business Insider, most American homes don't have the voltage to heat up an electric kettle quickly. American voltage is around 100 volts, where many other countries operate between 220 and 240 volts. This makes the electric kettle a hassle for Americans compared to the freaking microwave, so get off our backs and send Robert Irwin to The Tonight Show again.
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