When jogger Kelly Herron took a break to use the restroom while running through Golden Gardens Park in Seattle recently, a man (who is reportedly a registered sex offender) followed her into the public bathroom. Herron told ABC News that the man attacked her, took her down to the ground and beat her knees and legs.

Luckily, Herron had taken a self-defense class at work a few weeks prior to the assault and was able to employ those tactics to fight her attacker off.

"I just kept screaming, 'Not today, motherf***er,'" she told ABC News.

"All those little things that I learned in my life ... how to punch and everything came back to me," she continued. "I started to feel like I was going to lose consciousness ... but I got another surge of adrenaline, and I reached for the door and was able to get out."

Kelly posted about her assault on Instagram, including an image from her fitness tracker's GPS going crazy during the fight.

Herron said a passerby outside had a carabiner on them, and they were able to use it to lock her attacker in the bathroom until police arrived.

According to ABC News, the alleged attacker was identified as 40-year-old Gary Steiner, who apparently has an assault record against multiple women dating back to the 1990s. He is being held in jail on $750,000 bail.

And as for Herron? She's doing okay. "My face is stitched, my body is bruised, but my spirit is intact," she wrote on Instagram.

In related news, Kelly Herron is jogger and a badass.

Some people were just born to party. Like this grandma named Doreen Grett.

Grett was recently vacationing in Mexico when her visit happened to overlap with a bunch of college students on spring break. She showed them she is just as capable as they are at having a good time.

Grett's granddaughter, Payton Grett, shared a screenshot from her grandma's Facebook account on Twitter:

"My grandma is in Mexico taking shots with random girls on the beach and posting pics of it with captions like they're bff's.." she wrote.

I mean, how could this not go viral? A grandma partying it up on spring break is the stuff the internet lives for.

The tweet has been shared nearly 20,000 times, and even found its way to Doreen's drinking buddies! They weighed in to proclaim their love for Doreen, leading to this adorable bonding moment:

And Twitter is overflowing with love for Doreen.

I just hope Doreen and her friends remembered to alternate shots with water and to only drink on a full stomach and to wear lots of sunscreen.

How do you tell if the President is lying? His lips are moving! LOL!

During today's White House press briefing, NBC reporter Peter Alexander grilled White House press secretary Sean Spicer on whether the things President Trump says are "real" or "phoney." And Spicer got suspiciously squeaky as he gave his response.

Alexander first asked Spicer, "When the president says something, can trust it?" referring to claims the president made last week about the jobs report, as well as his claims that Obama "wiretapped" him.

Not getting a straight answer from Spicer, he persisted. "The question you have still not answered is, can you say affirmatively that whenever the president says something, we can trust it to be real?" he asked.

Spicer's voice then went up nearly an octave, as he replied: "If he's not joking, of course!"

He then launched into one of his signature non-answers:

Every time that he speaks authoritatively — that he speaks, he’s speaking as president of the United States.

You can watch the awkward moment here:

As far as those bizarre wiretapping claims, Alexander asked if that was a "joke" and Spicer replied that, no, "he does believe it."

Much like me, most people on Twitter aren't finding Trump's "jokes" particularly funny.

Aren't we all, Rebecca. Aren't we all.

An artist who goes by the name "Saint Hoax" has replaced the headlines from a bunch of 1950s and 1960s advertisements with actual comments our current president has made about women, as part of a series called "Make America Misogynist Again."

Frighteningly and not-at-all-surprisingly, the sexist quotes fit nearly perfectly with the vintage ads, revealing a fact about our president: he would have done great as a copywriter at Sterling Cooper in the '50s.

But it's not the '50s. It's 2017 and he's not an ad man: he's our president.

"The headlines and visuals strongly complement each other, although there's almost a 30-year gap between them," wrote Saint Hoax.

You can see the full series here:

These would be hilarious if they weren't so horrifyingly real.

Someone get Peggy Olson on the phone. We need her. ASAP.

On Monday night, Nick "Forever Alone" Viall finally managed to seal the deal with a woman after his proposal to Bachelor contestant Vanessa Grimaldi was accepted. Fourth time's a charm, right?

So now that Vanessa and Nick are officially set to wed, they are off to do what every other normal newly engaged couple does— lots and lots of press. One of their first stops after announcing their engagement was to Jimmy Kimmel Live! where these two lovebirds had the challenge of proving that they actually know something about each other despite only dating for six weeks (also, Nick was dating 29 other women during those six weeks, but details, right?). They played "The Newly Engaged Game," a.k.a. "The Newlywed Game" for engaged people, and their knowledge of one another was put to the test.

Not bad, not bad. Of course, they hardly got into the nitty-gritty, and Nick and Vanessa were asked questions that Nick probably could answer about any of his 30-something ex-girlfriends, but I digress. Also, Nick doesn't know how to spell "Libra"? Concerning.

Still, judging by how much these two are flashing their perfect smiles, they do seem very happy together. I give them two months.

Fox News anchor Shep Smith continued his slide into the snowflake zone on Monday, disputing the Orwellian talking points of Trumpland once again and providing some savory sound bites for anyone who mocked Kellyanne Conway's"microwave" comments on Monday.

Shep Smith! And Shep Smith's writers! Endearing themselves to snowflakes everywhere with such quotes as:

"Kellyanne Conway, who we really don't quote much anymore because, well, history."

"Kellyanne Conway, whose, well, previous words have been up for debate..." And everyone's favorite:

"Fox News can now confirm, microwaves heat food."

In case you missed it, a reporter askedKellyanne Conway on Sunday about Trump's claim that his yuge tower was "wiretapped." She responded:

"There was an article this week about how you can surveil someone through their phones... any number of different ways. Microwaves that turn into cameras, etc. So we know that that is just a fact of modern life."

That quote gave Twitter the opportunity to mock her savagely, and Shep Smith got in on the fun from his perch on Fox News' front porch. And it might be time to sell that real estate. Remember the last Fox News host to get on the left side of the right? Shep Smith's already enraged "deplorables"—how many more times can he speak for reality?

Nope, she's not pregnant, that's just bloating. Thanks, PMS! This is Malin Oloffson, a 27-year-old Swedish anorexia survivor and body positivity advocate, according to Cosmopolitan. She's also a sufferer of PMS, as are so many women around the world.

In her caption, Malin Oloffson explains her extreme PMS, which causes bloating, among other things. She also wants people to know that her body's reaction is normal, writing "this is nothing to be ashamed of." Her full caption reads"

Some of you have seen this before.
Some of you haven't.
Some of you experience and go through this yourself once a month.
Some of you will be disgusted.
Some of you will sigh with relief and think -Omg I'm not alone.
Some of you will not read this caption and presume that I'm pregnant.

This is the visual signs of PMS for me and many other women. For some it's less extreme, for some it's more.
Water retention is a very normal and common symptom of PMS.
Some women will hardly notice it and some go through immense discomfort for a couple of days a month. It can start anytime between ovulation and your period.

THIS 👏🏽 IS 👏🏽 NORMAL.
This is nothing to be ashamed of.
Yes - it is very uncomfortable, and yes - it is really difficult to not feel like you must hide it and try to suck your stomach in.
I've stopped.
I've decided that breathing is more important than what other people may or might think.
I've decided that my body's reaction to the hormonal change is not going to be an aspect that I let contribute to my already unstable mental state. Because when I have PMS, I already feel like dying. And I've decided to love my body no matter how I feel about life.

Do not blame your body for how you're feeling.
It is never your body's fault.
It is never anything wrong with how your body looks.
Yes - your body might experience discomfort due to hormonal changes - so instead of making it worse through shaming your body, try doing the opposite.
Realize that this is when you need extra self-care and self-love.
Realize that you don't have to be ashamed and hide.
You are perfect and your body is just doing it's job.

It's hard to remember that bodies just gonna body, and that's fine. We should celebrate them for working, instead of condemning them for not always looking how we want them to.

That doesn't change the fact that PMS is a bunch of bullshit, though. Grab yourself a salt lick and settle it on the couch for the long haul

.

Ah, those magic words: "Alison's reps confirm the exciting news to ET." We can only hope it's the same thing they told their families. Dave Franco, 31, and Alison Brie, 34, tied the knot on... well, they confirmed it on Monday, and that's all we know. Can't you just brie franc with us, guys?

According to Entertainment Tonight, the stars of Neighbors 2 and How to Be Single, respectively, are "notoriously private." But as Someecards wrote about this couple an eternity ago: "It's just so heartwarming when really attractive people double up."

So here's all the info gossip magazines have been able to pry out of them since the engagement in August 2015:

"I'm not very bridal, instinctually," said Alison Brie to Yahoo! Style. “Marriage never really interested me, I guess because I was very focused on my work. I wasn’t sure if I really saw the point to it. I bought a dress on Net-a-Porter, and I’m like, ‘Maybe I’ll wear that.'”

Did she wear that?!

"I don't know if I'm gonna have a best man," said Dave Franco to ET regarding his wedding. "I feel like when we do eventually get married, we're not gonna do a lot of the traditions and we're just gonna make it easy and who knows?"

Did they do a lot of the traditions?!

Congratulations to the happy couple! We're ready to see your wedding photos as soon as you feel comfortable sharing them on an episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live.

Beauty bloggers are like the mystical unicorns of the internet—they can apply liquid eyeliner correctly the first time and know what the heck primer does. Meanwhile, us plebeian folk have to deal with sneezing while putting on mascara and figuring out if the lipstick we had since 2006 is still safe to use.

Australian radio host Tanya Hennessy decided to parody these makeup gods and goddesses by making a makeup tutorial for the every-man, and it is just as hilarious as it is relatable.

Most beauty bloggers use approximately 300 products for their everyday makeup routine. Tanya Hennessy just sticks to the realistic essentials that everyone can find in their makeup bag, including that brush that you've had "since 2002" and "never washed" as well as "this MAC primer that this lady sold you against your will."

Since being uploaded to the web in February, the video has racked up over 5 million views. Her other videos, including "Things people say to hairdressers," have also gone viral.

P.S. I would totally tune in for that "slutty eye" tutorial if Tanya ever made one.

Applying for college is nerve-wracking, but something tells us 17-year-old Black-ish star Yara Shahidi won't have too much trouble. She's smart, talented and a social activist. Oh, and Michelle Obama wrote her recommendation letter.

According to Us Weekly,Shahidi first met the 44th first lady back in October, when they both appeared at Glamour magazine's International Day of the Girl event in Washington, D.C.

"She is very amazing and such a supporter, which is something very surreal to say," Yara Shahidi said of Michelle Obama in an interview with W Magazine. In addition to writing her a recommendation, Shahidi says that Obama gave her a "go get 'em tiger" pat on the back before she took her AP exams.

Shahidi told W Magazine that all of her college applications have been sent in, and she hopes to double major in African-American studies and sociology. (Damn. You go girl.)

On March 9, Billy Ray Cyrus, dad of Noah and Miley Cyrus, tweeted a picture of Miley in a white dress, along with the caption, "I'm so happy…you are happy." Of course, when an unmarried celebrity is wearing a white dress, people's minds go to one place.

Fans immediately started to freak out, because OMG did Miley secretly marry her longtime boyfriend Liam Hemsworth? Billy Ray Cyrus added to the drama by retweeting people asking if his daughter had gotten married.

BUT NO, apparently they did not, Noah Cyrus told Entertainment Tonight at the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards on March 11. "She's not married," Noah said, clearing that rumor right up. She explained that her sister was "probably just having fun or something."

Later, Billy Ray Cyrus posted an Instagram that seemed to dispel the rumor he sort of started, writing, "Whoa! Don't jump the gun."

Okay, so Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth are not married…yet. When asked how she felt about her possible future brother-in-law, Noah Cyrus said, "I love him." Awwww. Sounds like it's going to be one big happy family.

Jessica Singleton is mom to adorable toddler named Pierson. While she and Pierson's dad are no longer together, Singleton wrote a powerful Facebook post about how they're still partners in parenting.

"This is my ex. This right here is more valuable than gold," she writes. "This is a man who doesn't pay a dime through the state because when my son needs new clothes, I just call him."

Jessica Singeton wrote on Facebook the many ways that her ex is a perfect father to Pierson, putting their son first even though breakups are almost always painfully awkward.

This is my ex. This right here is more valuable than gold. This is a man who doesn't pay a dime through the state because when my son needs new clothes, I just call him. This is a man who buys a bundle of kids' movies on Vudu so even I can enjoy them with my son in my own home. A man who drops off the $45 box of pull-ups at my front door so I don't have to load him up and go to the store. One who takes his son in 10 min notice far often than he should because I have too much to get done or just need a nap. This is a man who listens to me cry because I'm stressed out. This is a man who tells his son not to forget mommy's boyfriend when he lists his favorite people off the top of his head...A man who rushes over because we got locked out of the house or spends his evening fixing something for us. This is a man who labeled the presents he bought his son from "mommy" because mommy couldn't get him as many. A man who still watches my sister's kids so our son can be with his cousins. One who accompanies me to meet strangers from Craigslist to ensure we are safe. This is the diaper-bag-wearing, chocolate-milk-making, selfless, protective, generous, accomplished FATHER to my son.

People can't help but scroll through Facebook to assume that people have perfect lives and that other moms just have it easy. Singleton made a point to explain that the road to such amicable, cooperative co-parenting took a lot of work. To inspire other parents to put in the effort, she wrote:

The amount of obstacles we've had to overcome to get to this point are tremendous. This was not easy, this was a choice. Stop giving excuses and come together for your children. I'm the most stubborn person that I know and forgiveness came easy to us for the sake of our son. And because of that, I see my son every single day. We always welcome each other's presence.

Her post received over 133,767 shares (!) 244,000 likes on Facebook (!!), at least 10,000 of which were likely so other moms' exes will see it.

People on Facebook are moved by the parents' teamwork while raising their son.

Pierson will one day read this post and be really proud of his parents—both for their partnership and their impressive ability to go viral.

A new star was born during the recent Crufts dog show in Birmingham, England. 5-year-old Olly, a Jack Russell terrier, has become an internet sensation with his adorably terrible performance in the rescue dog agility competition. While certainly agile, Olly lacked focus, constantly running in the wrong direction, evading his handler, and face-planting on the ground. But he couldn't have cared less—he was having the time of his life. And so was the color commentator, who could barely contain himself.

The world needs more dogs like Olly.

President Donald Trump isn't the only person who hates Alec Baldwin for doing an impersonation of him on Saturday Night Live. Infowars host and noted shirtless lunatic Alex Jones is so pissed off at Baldwin for portraying the president on TV that he has challenged him (no joke) to a "bare-knuckle fight" and threatened to "break his neck."

Sure, seems reasonable.

But the fight wouldn't be just for fun—whoever wins would donate a million dollars to the charity of the winner's choice. Somehow that doesn't make it seem any more sane, though, with Alex Jones yelling, "I hate you, and remember that, scumbag, forever!" Then he bellows, "We're going to defeat this anti-human scum!" before taking a break to eat some jalapenos (really).

On the Alex Jones intensity scale of 1 to 10, that's about a three. At least he kept his shirt on.

Alec Baldwin, it's your move.

Earlier this month, terminally ill author Amy Krouse Rosenthal penned an essay for the New York Times titled "You May Want To Marry My Husband" that touched millions of people. On Monday, her longtime agent and friend, Amy Rennert, confirmed to People that the author has passed away at the age of 51.

"Amy’s final essay, written under the most difficult of circumstances — a love letter to her husband Jason — was the ultimate gift to him and also to the rest of us. She leaves behind a legacy of love and beauty and kindness,” Rennert told People.

Amy Krouse Rosenthal was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2015. In her popular essay, she recounted her and her husband Jason's fairy tale love story. In the essay, she created a moving "dating profile" for her husband.

"First the basics," Amy wrote in her dating profile for Jason. "He's five-foot-ten, 160 pounds, with salt-and-pepper hair and hazel eyes." She touted his cooking skills and called him "a dreamy, let's-go-for-it travel companion."

"I am wrapping this up on Valentine’s Day, and the most genuine, non-vase-oriented gift I can hope for is that the right person reads this, finds Jason, and another love story begins," Amy continued.

“I didn’t know exactly what she was composing,” Jason said in a statement to People. “But I was with her as she labored through this process and I can tell you that writing the story was no easy task. When I read her words for the first time, I was shocked at the beauty, slightly surprised at the incredible prose given her condition and, of course, emotionally ripped apart."

"I don't have the same aptitude for the written word," he continued, "but if I did, I can assure you that my tale would be about the most epic love story… ours."

Will Smith is keeping the legacy of James Avery alive by slowly turning into the late actor. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air fans knew Avery as the strict but loving Uncle Phil during the show's six years on air. Avery passed away in 2013 from complications following open heart surgery.

Redditor MidasGloves first noticed the similarities between the two actors while watching this video of Will Smith bungee jumping off the historic Victoria Falls Road Bridge above the Zambezi River.

There is a split-second in the video where, given the angle and his graying hair, Smith appears to be a dead-ringer for Avery.

Fellow Redditors couldn't help but chime in with their takes on Will Smith's all-too-familiar resemblance.

Somehow we feel that The Fresh Prince wouldn't mind that he is turning into Uncle Phil. Or, you know, at least playing "Uncle Will" in the inevitable reboot of the '90s sitcom.