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I'm on a diet where I only eat food I can afford.


Dude trolls hotel staff with Christopher Walken-related room request, is shocked when they come through.

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In this day and age, every food delivery service and hospitality company has an online form with a "special requests" section. Surely, this has open the door for trolls to send in joke requests, but what happens when the troll becomes the troll-ee?

A man named Daniel Buckley recently found out when he jokingly sent in an insanely specific (and Christopher Walken-related) request while booking a room at the Pembroke in Kilkenny, Ireland, and the hotel actually delivered.

"When booking I felt mischevious so Luke Murphy and I wrote a strangely specific request for my room," Buckley wrote on Facebook. "They've only gone and bloody done it!"

This was Buckley's request:

"We would like a FRAMED photo of Christopher Walken (signed if possible) from Pulp Fiction, as my father was an assistant to Mr. Walken on this film and this was his greatest accomplishment," Buckley wrote in the 'special request' section. "We like to be reminded of this!"

Here's what was waiting for Buckley in his hotel room when he arrived.

Yes, that is a framed photo of Christopher Walken from the classic film, Pulp Fiction, just as Buckley had requested.

Oh yeah, and the photo is signed.

Did the hotel just have a signed photo of Christopher Walken lying around or did they actually make the effort to go out and find one? Either way, I love it. This is customer service at its absolute finest.

Helpful video explains why planes get overbooked and how to prevent getting bumped (or beaten up).

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In the wake of United Airlines' PR disaster over the viral video of a passenger being beaten and dragged from an overbooked flight, many formerly complacent travelers are starting to question the practice of overbooking in general. After all, why should airlines sell tickets to seats they don't have? Aren't incidents like the one on Flight 3441 inevitable? The people want to know!

Now, the helpful explainers at Wendover Productions have produced a video detailing the surprisingly sophisticated math used by airlines to determine how many imaginary seats they can sell on each flight to protect their bottom line. The video also includes a few ingenious tips on how to prevent an airline's algorithm for choosing you to be the one who gets hauled off the plane, bleeding.

Fascinating. Now if only there were a video explaining how to poop comfortably in that tiny bathroom.

Ben Carson got trapped in an elevator and Twitter was like 'You're going down.'

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No, this is not a joke. On Wednesday morning, former presidential hopeful and current Housing and Urban Development Secretary Ben Carson got trapped in an elevator while touring an affordable housing complex in Miami.

Eventually, Secretary Carson was freed from the elevator by firefighters.

Of course, getting trapped in a tiny elevator is only funny when it doesn't happen to you and Twitter was quick to make jokes at Secretary Carson's expense. Here are the 12 funniest jokes Twitter came 'up' with that are sure to press Carson's buttons. Okay, I'll stop with the elevator puns now.

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Shia LaBeouf's bizarre new art project will put him in total isolation for a month.

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Shia LaBeouf is always up to something new and often strange. This time, he's planning on spending a month alone in a cabin in Finland, without a phone or a computer, beginning April 12. According to Dazed, he's doing this as part of an art project called #ALONETOGETHER, which involves two other collaborators, from whom he will also be cut off. The only communication any of them will have for the month will be the ability to answer texts (coming through a video link) from people visiting the Kiasma museum in Helsinki.

Dazed writes that the project's aim is to force people to rethink the "relationship we have with our phones and with one another." The artists have said the project is a response to the global “digital revolution and its impact on our culture, economy, human identity, and behavior." So basically, the performance will see the trio disconnect from the constant barrage of internet and social media we now have in our daily lives.

Not that those are necessarily bad things, since, as Dazed writes, "their works are studies of human interaction and their key tools are social media and the internet, which they see as positive forces."

The question remains, though, whether they'll allow themselves distractions such as books or music, or if the cabins even have running water and electricity. Hopefully no one goes stir crazy.

I'm looking for a wine that pairs well with trying to find my W-2.

Police officer giving a safe cycling demonstration should probably watch a safe cycling demonstration.

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A hilarious video of a police officer in Scotland giving a safe cycling demonstration is causing a buzz on Twitter, because it seems he may need to watch the demonstration himself.

A man named Derek uploaded the video to Twitter. "Police were staging a safe way for kids to go down the stairs on their bikes and the policeman failed miserably," Derek told the Daily Record.

Spoiler: he fell over the handlebars. It was very funny.

You had to know that's how it was going to turn out. Derek said the falling officer "took it in good spirits."

"He was fine, just a bit embarrassed."

The video of the officer falling of his bike has now been retweeted over 1,800 times. Poor guy.

Jude Law has been cast in the new 'Fantastic Beasts' movie and you will not guess his role.

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Jude Law, the smug, the coiffed, the very handsome, will join the cast of the Harry Potter spin-off Fantastic Beastsin the role of, wait for it...

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE.

Director David Yates lauded Law in a statement, "Jude Law is a phenomenally talented actor whose work I have long admired, and I'm looking forward to finally having the opportunity to work with him."

He continued: "I know he will brilliantly capture all the unexpected facets of Albus Dumbledore as J.K. Rowling reveals this very different time in his life."

It sounds crazy that the 44-year-old Law will play the beloved warlock, since the last two Dumbledores have looked like this:

But this is the Young Pope we're talking about, so it makes sense that he'll actually be playing the esteemed role of YOUNG DUMBLEDORE, as Fantastic Beasts tumbles back to a time before the dark lord ever put a lightning shaped scar on the Chosen One's forehead.

From Entertainment Weekly:

Law will portray Dumbledore long before the iconic wizard became the Headmaster at Hogwarts, as he has been known in the Harry Potter books and movies. We meet him decades earlier, when Dumbledore is still serving as the wizarding school’s Transfiguration professor. He is also a contemporary of Gellert Grindelwald, the charismatic dark wizard who believes wizards are superior to Muggles and No-Majs

Grindelwald, you may recall, was once Dumbledore's best friend and companion, before he turned evil and took the role of Hitler allegory to Dumbledore's Winston Churchill. All this happens decades before Harry Potter arrived at Hogwarts.

Even more intriguing is the fact that at the end of the first Fantastic Beasts it was revealed that (spoiler alert)...

Grindelwald is played by none other than Johnny Depp.

So we're now in for a Depp-Law battle to the death and we can only hope there's a love scene.

The new Fantastic Beasts will come out on November 16, 2018.


Kelly Clarkson shares an epic singing blooper and her reaction is priceless.

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Most singers work hard to keep up a flawless image, but Kelly Clarkson has no qualms about showing the world that she is only human.

Kelly Clarkson is known for her powerful belt and catchy pop-anthems, but the original American Idol winner uploaded this video of her voice cracking in the studio to prove that no one is perfect. Luckily, Kelly is able to laugh at herself and presumably shared the hilarious blooper because she wants you to laugh, too.

After cracking directly into the microphone, Clarkson fell to the floor, dissolving into a fit of giggles.

"That should be a ringtone," says her producer and she struggles to catch her breath from laughing so hard.

And the vocal snafu only seemed to make fans love Kelly more.

Never change, Kelly. Never change.

The best burns from other airlines trolling United's PR meltdown.

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United Airlines has been in the hot seat for brutally forcing a man out of his chair on a flight. The internet is trolling United for shamelessly dragging 69-year-old doctor David Dao, calling out their brutal treatment of a customer.

After the horrifying incident turned into a PR disaster for United, with United CEO Oscar Munoz's initial comments only making things worse, other airlines are spinning it into PR (and comedy) gold.

The international scandal has been generating great jokes from the Middle East.

Jordanian Airlines has an impressive pun game.

Emirates Airlines makes it personal, Mr. Munoz.

Qatar Airways got real with a hilarious "app update," that "Doesn't support drag and drop."

Plus, there's Southwest Airlines' new slogan, which may or may not be real.

United Airlines deserves to be dragged. Unlike David Dao.

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag have an announcement and shockingly it's not a new reality show.

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Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are two of the most controversial figures in reality TV—an impressive feat considering the competition. And though the couple may not be personally my "cup of tea," I have to admire them for their commitment—to each other, and to fame.

So I'll try to put all judgment aside in light of this news: "Speidi" is expecting! And not a new reality show—they're expecting a baby, the couple revealed in an interview with Us Weekly.

And they're pretty psyched about it. Pratt, 33, said Montag, 30, gave him the news one morning at their Santa Barbara beach house. When he woke up she was "just standing there," and "literally glowing," he told Us Weekly. He continued:

I thought she was about to say she made muffins or banana bread. Heidi said, "I’m pregnant." I was like, "Whoa, that’s way more exciting than banana bread!"

Spencer Pratt, who is still selling crystals online in case you were wondering, is clearly excited to be a dad (because banana bread is awesome).

Montag, who is due October 19, told Us the couple had been "trying for a month" and she was "shocked" that it happened so quickly. "Heidi has wanted to be a mom since the day I met her," said Pratt. "She has planned for and thought about this."

They don't yet know the gender of the baby, but Montag said "I’m hoping for a boy. I’ve always wanted a boy first." She added: "I’d love to have a son and for the Pratt name to continue." Hopefully, if they have a girl, she never reads this article.

Pratt and Montag became famous after their controversial appearance on The Hills, followed by their controversial appearances on I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! and the UK's Celebrity Big Brother. And coming soon, if I had to guess, their controversial appearance on: We're Celebrities and We Have a Baby Now.

Congrats to the happy couple on their growing brood and continuing relevance!

Devastated people share the cruelest thing an ex ever said during a breakup. You'll rage-cry.

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It's never pleasant going through a breakup, and those tired old clichés can make you feel used and depleted. "It's not you, it's me." "I'm focusing on me right now." "We work better as friends." WHAT DOES THAT REALLY MEAN.

But on the flip side of that, the brutal honesty is often a lot more... brutal. You can guarantee the following people would have begged for a pleasant cliché after what their exes went with in the moment of breakup.

And guess who's consistently got the cruelest tactics? Cheaters, of course.

1. Let's start with FredWampy. His story is the worst.

"Your brother is better in bed."

She'd been cheating on me. Yes, with him.

2. Murderousbudgie is murderous for a reason.

"I don't know why you actually thought we were going to get married. I'm only 26."

Uh, motherfucker, because you fucking proposed to me.

3. Imightbeaspider knows too much. Way too much.

He started telling me the details of his cheating.

Originally he told me it was a drunken mistake and he was completely blacked out. After I dumped him he told me the truth.

He said it wasn't one night, it was two. They f*cked 13 times, and the first time he called her by my name. He said she was better than me in every way.

That had me really fucked up for a while, which was his intention.

4. VVillyD makes you glad AIM is gone. It's gone, right?

In early college (2004-5) I had a friend who broke up with his girlfriend by changing his AIM away message to "Found out I'm John Conner. Off to fight the machines. Previous social commitments are on hold, unless otherwise notified". He then just stopped talking to his girlfriend.

That was pretty cruel, I think.

5. Naegerst may have dodged a bullet here.

"Hey you wanna see a magic trick?"

  • Yes

does crazy things with his hands

"Poof you're single"

6. Congrats on two things, lbtrigger!

Not so much as what she said, but how it went about.

The day before she broke up with me, I didn't get into Grad School. That was the kicker, me not getting into grad school apparently. She basically said I was a loser and I'm "not the writer [she] fell in love with before."

Fast forward a week later, the rejection was a mistake. I actually got in the masters program! Fast forward to now: I start the PhD program in the Fall! :)

7. Oh. Oh no. So sorry, DontReadMyPosts.

"You're not my passion; You don't make me melt."

Said about a week after she told me I make her melt.

8. MayonaiseH0B0 dated Larry David, so don't feel too bad.

"If you weren't losing your hair I'd find you attractive. I just can't be with a bald man. What would people say"

she said this to me when I was 20 at an Applebee's and still wanted me to pay for dinner.

Edit: Thank you to everyone for your kind and encouraging words.

9. Bustyturtlelover has a loyal brother to cancel out her disloyal cousin.

After catching him cheating on me in my own house, with my cousin, ON MY BIRTHDAY, his reason was,

"Our relationship is about the emotions, not the sex."

Apparently the whole time he kept fucking other girls while leaving the emotional baggage parts to me. I'm glad to say my brother didn't let Jason go without a nice reminder of why you don't fucking do that on a girl's birthday.

10. 8ack_Space found a true MVP.

She cheated on me, I found out about it, and I gave myself 3 hours to calm myself before I talked to her. This was my first long-term relationship, we had been dating for just over a year.

When I finally called her, I was calm, polite, and most importantly: Indifferent. I wasn't really feeling that way, but I forced myself to be completely flat in my tone and my words. I said, "I found out about you and X. I'm breaking up with you, I'll be over this weekend to pick up my things from your place."

She responded with lying about it, then this that and the other. Everything she said only got a simple response of, "I stand by my decision to break up." She started getting really really frustrated by my even tone and lack of response (in reality, I was biting my fingers one by one to force myself to remain calm as she talked). Eventually she ended with:

"Okay yeah I sucked him off in a movie theater, but you're the real bastard by not even being MAD about it! Clearly you never cared about us!" And she hung up on me. Never did get my stuff, but really the only thing I wanted was the copy of my favorite novel I lent her, so I just ended up buying myself a nice hard copy of it afterwards as a breakup consolation for myself.

Bonus kicker? I was at a gaming session with a group of friends a few weeks later, and a random number I'd never seen calls my phone. Turns out it's her sister, and my ex is there having her call me because she wants to talk because she wants to get "closure" on our relationship.

Someone in the gaming session asked what was going on when they saw my face go stoic. I held my hand over the phone's mic and explained. The instant my hand left the mic, a girl present at the gathering shouted "8ack_Space! Come back to bed, we miss youuuu!" and that got the other two girls in the room giggling and shouting similar things.

Ex heard it (I guess they were on speakerphone) and flipped out. I just said, "Uhm. They're tagging me back in, gotta go." A few weeks later, I asked out the girl who shouted it.

Ten years later, here we are, happily married.

Never spoke to my ex again, but the idea of cheating on someone then claiming they had no investment in the relationship just because they have the audacity to try and be calm about it...

11. Lucifers_scrotum revels in his cruelty, as you'd expect.

Well I have a story for this but I was the one who said it. Basically she said something along the lines of,"What could I do differently so I don't mess things up with Alex" and Alex is a kid she knows I hated so I simply replied with,"Make sure he doesn't get to know you too well."

12. MeMuzzta's was short yet cruel.

'We can't be friends either, sort your shit out'

13. And Azhorion was such a trooper willing to meet the parents!

Been kind of dating this girl for approximately 2-3 months and didn't exactly know where we were heading, but I thought we were getting into a ship called relation.

She then mentioned her parents were gone for the weekend and I was like "Great, thanks for the invitation" but she said: "Sorry, someone else is already coming over."

That one hurt.

14. HONESTY IS NOT GOOD, from lewistronzo.

When my ex found somebody else, she went with the line "He has a better job and he's taller" ouch!! I don't know what his job was but I'm 6'2" so I'm only half offended, I'm happy at this height.

15. At least FreePork got to laugh. Ha. Ha.

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Single."

"Single who?"

"Single you."

Grandma accidentally crochets her grandson a hilariously NSFW 'shark blanket.'

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As the owner of approximately 100 scarves and hats of varying color, shape and consistency that my grandma has knitted for me over the years, I know gifts from grandparents are priceless, perfect treasures. Even if they aren't always exactlythe gift you might have chosen for yourself. Like this "shark blanket" which a grandma knitted for her grandson.

A photo of the kid wearing the blanket was shared by Imgur user newrapson and is going viral thanks to one hilarious, probably-accidental detail.

Once you see it, you can't unsee it.

In case you have a beautifully pure mind and can't figure out what's NSFW about this shark blanket, we can always count on commenters to lay it out for us:

Yes, yes ,it does. Ha ha, good one, Grandma!

Some commenters seem to think Granny was in on the joke.

Or maybe she noticed her mistake, but figured her grandson wouldn't.

And others just have major blanket envy.

I mean, awkwardly placed "fin" or not, it is an AWESOME blanket. This kid is lucky his grandma cares enough to make it for him. Even if this photo going viral could easily be his worst nightmare.

Hey, at least he'll always have a fun story to tell at parties!

Flash forward to high school when he's known as "shark boy" and every girl in school wants him to take her to prom.

Student sent home for ‘inappropriate’ dress that covered basically everything.

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The weather is finally warming up, and you know what that means! Here come the onslaught of stories of girls getting sent home from school due to sexist dress codes! Hooray.

Here we go again.

Sophia Abuabara, a student at Tom C. Clark High School in San Antonio, Texas, was ordered to change after her principal deemed her long-sleeved dress "too short" for school. Sophia called her mother Rosey Abuabara in tears to explain the embarrassing situation, but Rosey was not going to take the sexist double-standard laying down.

Rosey Abuabara uploaded this photo of her daughter in the dress she wore to school that day next to a male student she saw in the parking lot.

She uploaded the image to Instagram with this seething caption:

Wow. My daughter got #dresscoded for this dress. They said it was too short. Yet, boys can dress like this?? She had 3 exams that afternoon, including Physics AP, Latin 3, and APUSH. But her skirt length....

According to HelloGiggles, the boy in the photograph commented on the picture to point out that he hadn't actually worn that outfit to school that day, and those were his workout clothes that he changed into after class. But the unidentified male student did agree with Rosey that the school's dress code is "outdated" and that there is "an uneven application of the rules" between male and female students. With the warm temperatures in San Antonio, girls have to choose between being comfortable or being reprimanded by faculty for their clothing choices.

Abuabara ended up going to the school to defend her daughter but was escorted away by campus police when she dared to defy the principal. She was especially upset because the debacle interfered with the three exams Sophia had that day, all in advanced classes.

Oh yeah, the principal also asked Abuabara if she needed to "call her husband to take care of this" when she refused to back down. Oy.

Rosey Abuabara explains the entire infuriating incident in this video:

I just got escorted off campus by campus police. #DressCodeViolation #GirlsDressCode #StopShaming #DressCode #DressCodeViolations #SchoolShaming

Posted by Rosey Abuabara on Friday, April 7, 2017

If you want to read more stories of girls having to miss school because of their clothes, click here, or here, or here, or here or here or...

Paranoid kids gets to name their own baseball team, knock it out of the park.

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10-year-old Vaughn Guilfoile plays for two different baseball teams—a Little League team, and a traveling team. His traveling team needed a name, and the adults in charge thought Vaughn and his teammates could come up with a good name themselves. They were right. The name they chose was so perfect, Vaughn's father Kevin Guilfoile shared it on Twitter, where it's blowing up. It's not hard to see why.

If you think that's ballsy, check out the patch.
What team would dare to beat these kids?

While you might think these kids are fearless rebels who aren't afraid to challenge the Secret World Government, Kevin claims they're just repeating memes they've seen online. He told BuzzFeed News,

They know it as a joke. They don’t really know what is is.

But then again… does anyone REALLY know what the Illuminati is?

People on Twitter are having a lot of fun with this one.

Do you want to root root root for the Illuminati? This gear can be yours too!

Just don't wear it outside, or the satellites will see you. You don't want to get on The List.


A viral tweet is inspiring people to give their significant others the weirdest nicknames.

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If you think about it, a lot of common nicknames we have for our significant others are inspired by food - Honey, Pumpkin, etc. (Heck, most of our romantic gestures are inspired by food, too.) One Twitter user recently pointed this out, and started a wave of madness.

A Twitter user named Bela recently showed her boyfriend a tweet she'd read that she thought was funny. "I'm going to start calling girls my favorite snacks, you fuckin cute ass bruschetta w cherry tomatoes," the original tweet said.

Her boyfriend also liked the tweet, and used it as inspiration to come up with some new nicknames for Bela. Bela posted some screen grabs of the text messages that followed:

Smoked Salmon, the most romantic of all seafood entrees.

Granted, "guacamole and tortilla chips" doesn't quite roll off the tongue as easily as "sweetheart," but it's definitely more creative.

I'm done. This wins. Nothing can top calling your significant other "My bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich on whole grain wit mayo." NOTHING.

It seems Bela wasn't alone, though. Several people responded to her, telling her that their significant others had been similarly inspired by the tweet.

Okay, I take it back. "You green wet burrito" is the best one.

Just a reminder that you still have plenty of time to do your taxes at the last minute.

Spring is my favorite time of year to stop and smell the roses and then sneeze for 20 minutes.

People claim their tweets criticizing United Airlines were 'deleted' by Twitter.

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By now it seems like literally everyone is talking or tweeting or making memes about United Airlines, after a video of a passenger being forcibly dragged off a flight went viral earlier this week. And now there's a weird conspiracy theory circulating in the Twittersphere that Twitter is helping the airline cover up the scandal, by deleting people's tweets, the Independent reports.

The rumor started when a handful of Twitter users claimed that their tweets had mysteriously "disappeared."

"Very strange- twitter seem to be deleting negative tweets about @united Airlines, including mine..." wrote conservative author Jay Beecher on Monday.

He then reposted his tweet, claiming the social networking site has joined forces with United to "suppress the justified negativity."

And then...

He's not the only one to make this claim.

If true, this would be VERY bizarre, given that United has been trending on Twitter all week, and millions of people are continuing to tweet about the scandal with no problems.

So if Twitter really IS colluding with United Airlines to "protect the brand" as some people seem to believe, the question is: why have they not taken down any of these hilarious gems?

Is it because even these alleged Twitter scammers have a soft spot for a great joke?

Guy falls for fake story about schools 'forcing students to do Muslim prayers.' Twitter schools him.

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Unfortunately, Twitter is a place where ignorance and bigotry can thrive. Fortunately, it is also a place where ignorance and bigotry can get beautifully shut down by smart people who are good with words. So good luck, trolls.

On Monday, a probably-satirical, now-suspended account named "cuckpatroller" tweeted these photos of what he claimed were students at an American middle school being "forced" in to Muslim prayer:

"AMERICAN MIDDLE-SCHOOLS CAUGHT FORCING STUDENTS TO DO MUSLIM PRAYERS 5 TIMES A DAY. TIME 2 REVOKE FUNDING! RT!!" he wrote. This tweet is soignorant it seems like satire. Sadly, it could just as easily be a real tweet from a Trump supporter.

Either way, of course there were people on Twitter willing to buy it. Like this guy:

"This is what decades of rejecting Jesus Christ has done to this nation the children are worshiping Satan," he wrote.

This is so dumb you almost want to feel sorry for him. But not so much that you can't enjoy this perfect moment of enlightenment and Twitter-justice:

"It's a tornado drill," explained good samaritan Rob Dale. To his credit, "Bobbyhead" immediately apologized: "Next time I'll research before sending, sorry," he wrote. To which "fakelawn" had the perfect response: "Next time you should research before voting, too."

This epic, glorious clapback was captured by comedian Ari Scott, who captioned it "when Twitter is good." It's now going viral:

And the good, informed folks of Twitter can't stop schooling these "unhinged men":

Some people think the initial tweet by "cuckpatroller" was satire. The account has since been suspended so we can't be sure.

If I were "bobbyhead" or anyone else who fell for the idea that American middle schools are "forcing students to do Muslim prayers," I think I'd take some time off Twitter and take a long look at the man in the mirror (and maybe do some reading up on Islam?). It's time to make a change.

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