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Ann Coulter and Donald Trump are having a nasty public beef and they both deserve to lose.

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Separation of powers as enshrined in the Constitution be damned: President Trump went and declared a national emergency because there are brown people on the border with Mexico.

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You'd think that human pitchfork Ann Coulter would be impressed by Trump's egregious power grab in the same of erecting a massive "f*ck you" monument to Mexico, but the pile of toothpicks is surprisingly skeptical.

Coultergeist was pissed that Trump's emergency declaration came in tandem with his signing the budget that Congress did approve, which didn't include the billions he demanded for his fence.

Ann Coulter slammed Trump's emergency declaration as a charade to appease "the stupidest people in his base" and now people are in the very uncomfortable position of agreeing with Ann Coulter.

To Donald Trump, all words are fighting words, and the president must have seen Coulter's take on his morning toilet Twitter scroll. He decided to burn her from his podium at the Rose Garden, a place most famous for hosting the signing of a declaration of peace between Israel and Jordan.

Asked if the conservative media circlejerk informed his decision—as it did with last month's shutdown—Trump riffed on his friends Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh before taking the opportunity to burn the witch known as Ann Coulter.

That's right, he PULLED A MARIAH CAREY!!!

i dont know her mariah carey GIF

If you think that's how petty the Rose Garden presentation got, you should hear the president describe how the constitutionality of his actions will be challenged in the courts!

Speaking of court, expect to hear a lot of lawsuits mentioning the fact that Trump admitted himself that this "national emergency" is hardly an emergency.

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez tweeted about the comment, so you know it's important.

Amazing how everything can be both so scary and so dumb.


Ariana Grande fans are boycotting her music for a supremely confusing reason.

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Ariana Grande stans truly know no chill. And now that it has officially become the year of Ariana Grande, they are v busy taking their fandom to the next level. So much so, that they are now boycotting one of her songs in an attempt to make one of her other songs go to number one on the charts. Say what now?

Just to recap here, Ariana Grande recently broke the internet when she debuted the iconic "thank u, next" music video. Like, literally YouTube froze momentairly because so many people were watching it. Needless to say, the refreshingly positive breakup anthem had everyone talking, and it quickly made its way to the top of the charts where it became the pop singer's first number one hit on Billboard Hot 100.

Ari didn't stop there. She continued to grace us with more singles from her album, which eventually led to a second legendary music video release. This time the single attached to the video was an anthem to herself, her riches, and her bitches. "7 rings" also rose to the top of the charts, because as we covered, this is the year of Ariana Grande.

Then, Ari finally dropped the entire album. And because she also knows no chill, she released yet another amazing music video with the song "break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored." Was it an instant hit? Take a guess (hint: yes, duh).

Okay, now we're all caught up. As we speak, "break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored" is climbing its way up the charts. And Ari stans are determined for it to hit number one so she can break records by being an artist with three top hits at once. So they've decided that in order for it to get there, it has to surpass "7 rings," meaning they need to stop listening to "7 rings" and start listening to "break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored." Ow, my head hurts.

Ariana Grande fans literally live online, so they have taken to Twitter to get their message of boycotting "7 rings" out to the public.

Ariana loves her fans, but even she seems to realize how crazy this shit is.

If you need me, I'll be doing what any rational person would and listening to both "7 rings" and "breakup with your girlfriend, i'm bored" on repeat until the day I die.

'Foodie' mom claims her child won't need a kids menu, gets hilariously served by other parents.

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Even if you've never taken care of a child, you know they're notoriously finicky when it comes to food. A food's taste, texture, or appearance might inspire a child to protest its consumption or throw a tantrum until a better, more edible alternative is introduced. Sometimes bribery helps a child expand their palette, at least temporarily; to this day, I promise myself chocolate if I finish all the vegetables on my dinner plate. It works if I do, in fact, have chocolate. Sometimes the food isn't the issue but rather the way it's presented. Chrissy Teigen understands this concept all too well and made mealtime more tantalizing for her daughter with a handmade 'menu.'

The feeding struggle gets extremely real for parents, but one new mother hasn't hit that roadblock yet. She's convinced that *her* child won't eat from the kids menu, what with being a foodie and all.

Of course he won’t be, Karen. Of course he won’t be.

Posted by Sanctimommy on Thursday, January 24, 2019

Her child hasn't started eating solids yet and she thinks he's the second coming of Anthony Bourdain? That's...a lot to process. Luckily, more experienced parents jumped in to 'educate' her. It's easy to romanticize a stage of parenthood when you haven't experienced it, including the downsides.

Woman asks if she's 'an a**hole' for wanting to dump her boyfriend because of his rape. She got answers.

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There is no easy one-size-fits all way to respond to sexual trauma, particularly when you're learning about the pained memory of a loved one. Everyone processes abuse differently, and while some people may need an ear to vent or cry to, others prefer space after opening up about sexual trauma.

Still, even though there's no easy way to respond, most people with empathy know that shaming someone or victim-blaming is never a correct way to react. If you love or care about someone, your first concern should be their well-being and finding ways to support them. People's true colors often come out during times of intense vulnerability, and sadly, those colors aren't always good.

To this very point, when the Reddit user calinylo00 found out her boyfriend had been raped as a child, she quickly left his apartment and claims she "views him differently now."

She made a post on Reddit asking if she was an asshole for feeling different about him after learning about his trauma, and luckily, the internet served as a voice of reason confirming that she is in fact a self-centered horrible person.

"Im a 20yo woman currently dating my 24 yo boyfriend of 5 months.

Hes tall, muscular, blonde with blue eyes. Hes also really dominant and works at a start up doing marketing. In general hes very smart, funny, yadda yadda you get it. I like him."

"However even though our sex life is good hes been having trouble performing starting a week and a half ago. I thought it was me at first so i asked him and he started to break down a bit before crying. Hes just started seeing a therapist or "counselor" about his childhood."

"Then he tells me that he was raped as an 11 year old by his stepbrother, multiple times when he was young. This floored me as up until this point he seemed so macho and sort of like a "tough guy" and nows hes confessing to being raped by another man while completely being in tears and holding me.

I held him back and let him vent but i ended up leaving (we were at his apartment)."

"I completely understand that its horrible being a rape victim but honestly i dont know if i could see him the same way again. I had this image of him that's completely shattered and honestly everytime i see him text me I just feel weird now.

My best friend thinks i should try to keep dating him for a bit but im really not attracted to him like i was before. We're not broken up yet but im considering it kinda. AITA?"

People were quick to lay out the many reasons her response is awful. For one, she's centering herself in his trauma, and somehow making his flashbacks about her comfort (or lack there of). On top of that, she is effectively victim-blaming him by claiming his abuse shattered her image of him.

There's already a toxic conflation between emasculation and sexual abuse that silences male victims, and she played into it by suggesting his trauma makes him less attractive.

ToytlesLikeMe suggested she leave him so he can find a nice girlfriend.

"YTA, Do him a big favour and break up with him. Then hopefully he can get himself a nice girlfriend."

Tyreathian pointed out how obviously messed up her response would seem if the roles were swapped.

"Imagine if he was in your shoes. You had been raped, and he wanted to break up with you because of it. Doesn’t sound so good now does it?"

CaptainHacker lamented how its a lose-lose situation for the boyfriend who is already reliving his trauma. Either he has a girlfriend who stays and doesn't empathize with him, or she leaves and he is saddled with a fear to open up again.

"I can't even begin to imagine what OP's boyfriend must be feeling.

And no matter what OP does, it sucks for the boyfriend. He's either in a relationship with a woman that refuses to respect him because of a traumatic experience he had or she leaves."

"Obviously she needs to leave him so he can hopefully find someone a little more... human, but think about what her leaving would be telling him. It would be telling him that when people learn about his experience, they think less of him. I don't know about the boyfriend, but I'd have a hard time letting anyone in ever again after that."

annieklucas43 broke down how there's nothing more strong than opening up about your vulnerabilities to a partner.

"100% this. Not much more masculine and STRONG than being real and honest and vulnerable with someone. Her response is reprehensible. I’m a female survivor of rape and I had a dude do this to me and it was probably the most pathetic thing I’ve ever witnessed and spoke volumes about his shallowness. Made it easy to walk away for sure. This girl needs to go find a nice shallow guy."

FlyingTwisted called out the girlfriend for what she is: an awful, cruel person.

"This. You are the absolute worst kind of person. He trusted you enough to open up to you about his worst experience. You're only human too and nobody can stop you from feeling this way but he deserves better than you. Somebody who is going to respect him for who he is.

Do him a favor and make up some bullshit about why you're breaking up with him so it doesn't hurt him more mentally moving forward."

avicioustradition pointed out how the girlfriend's response is precisely why so many childhood abuse survivors, particularly male ones, repress their experiences and continue the cycle of abuse.

"Just....this shit is why so many me. Who are CSA victims bottle things like this up inside and never deal with them. They just get angry and bitter and turn into over-compensating, emotionally handicapped jerks. It makes me want to start screaming and never stop and also hug her poor boy friend until he explodes with love and validation. ( as long as he’s okay with hugs)"

Unfortunately, this situation is so awful all around there is no possible happy ending. But for the sake of the boyfriend, I hope she leaves him without causing further emotional damage, and that he's able to continue processing his trauma with his counselor, close friends, and in the future - a more understanding partner.

People are pranking their dads by pretending to fill up cars with olive oil. The reactions are hilarious.

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Dads are easy targets for pranks, but it doesn't make the "punk"ing any less satisfying.

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Dads are often the pranksters, but now they're the prankees.

The latest text prank in the grand tradition of Nathan Fielder's glorious "I haven't been fully honest with you" text prank shows that parents will believe anything when it comes to millennials and Gen Z trying to "adult."

Popular Twitter account "The Dad" called on its followers to tell their dads that they filled their car up with oil. Tasty oil.

The dads' responses are hilarious.

BarryFloyd83's dad respects his son's commitment to being health conscious.

Ashbake's dad was seriously concerned.

RomanBloemke's dad was not impressed.

Mamma mia! That's a spicy a-text message, @SusieSalas!

ArielleVonn's dad couldn't be fooled.

CarrieBot's dad got dad jokes.

MyNameIsCJLyons' dad does, too!

Rachel_Tab owned up to the bit right away.

LaurenPresley04's dad with the tough love.

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Lauren's dad, basically.

This guy's Instagram is so ridiculous, even Chrissy Teigen noticed. Try not to snort-laugh.

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What a privilege to raise awareness of an Instagram feed so absurd, it's taking the Internet by storm. It doesn't belong to a celebrity, it's not a viral stunt that's actually an advertising campaign, and it's not relevant unless you love stupid #content. That's why I'm here today, and possibly why I'm here on this planet. It is my greatest joy to introduce to you "Hard Rock" Nick Johannsen.

View this post on Instagram

hard as hell. #specialbread

A post shared by Nicholas Rock Johannsen (Nick) (@hardrocknick) on

Nick is not a rock star. He's not even a musician. He IS, however, the animating force behind an Instagram presence so hilariously ridiculous, Chrissy Teigen can't help but be obsessed.

Ok, let's start from the beginning. We're all indebted to @wwwdotyoutube for this thread that brought Hard Rock Nick Culture to the masses.

"there are jelly packets"

His Facebook account is similarly legendary, if extremely problematic. He and John Mayer have one thing in common and it's not musical ability.

He's looking for a NATURAL beauty, ladies, despite what his lash extensions and makeup might indicate. Natural! No fakes for this authentic, down to earth, definitely-not-lying-about-everything guy.

The plot thickened as people came forward to share information and anecdotes about Nick. Ends up his name isn't 'Nick' and he's super scary. This next thread is long, so I've only included the first part. Click through if your life, like mine, has been utterly consumed by this assclown's existence.

As you probably assumed, Nick's lifestyle isn't the luxurious romp through Hollywood he portrays it as on social media. It's more about, like, eating fast food and working in Amazon warehouses.

The full thread DEMANDS to be read in its entirety. You must. It's riveting. Oh Nick, you wildly unconvincing charlatan. You might not have my heart, but you do have my attention, which is a valuable commodity nowadays. Also Chrissy Teigen's!

23 Workplace Memes Everyone Should Laugh At By 5pm.

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You work hard all dang day. It's time for a laugh break. Check out these hilarious workplace memes and watch your stress melt away.

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Guy pretends to get stood up on Valentines Day as an 'experiment.' The internet is divided.

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There is a thin line between a funny prank and outright emotional manipulation, and that line is constantly debated among prankers and prankees alike.

One such debate was sparked when the Twitter user Stephen Bonser decided to go to Outback Steakhouse alone on Valentines Day, with the intention of pretending he was getting stood up on a date.

The intention of the ruse, of course, was to see if he would receive a free steak dinner out of his performative sadness.

Regardless of the results, his sister promised she would pay for him so long as he went through with the act.

And so, Bonser stuck to his word and live-tweeted his fictional Valentines Day date.

He kept his ruse next level by pretending to leave a worried voicemail on his phone while within earshot of the waiters.

He even brought in a fake present for his non-existent date.

The image he created was genuinely sad, albeit entirely manipulated.

He ended up chugging the chardonnay that was poured for his date minutes before the kitchen closed, as a final act of dramatic effect.

The waiter was very gentle and swift, so as not to upset Bonser on his bombed date.

He even shared an audio clip of his fake voicemail with his Twitter followers.

He also decided the name of his imaginary date was Katherine.

Unlike Katherine, the steak did in fact arrive looking fine as hell.

He also, in the ultimate customer faux pas, sat staring at his untouched steak 30 minutes after the restaurant closed.

Apparently, as kind people who empathized with his plight, a couple at the bar paid for his meal.

Bonser shared he would be donating $50 to the ACLU in honor of the couple who bought his meal.

Apparently, the waiter even stopped him before leaving, to give him some words of encouragement.

While some people thought the performance was funny, a lot of people pointed out how Bonser essentially spent the night manipulating strangers into feeling sorry for him, accepted their money, and gave a mediocre tip after forcing a server to stay after their shift.

However, despite the backlash, one woman offered to go on a real date with Bonser.

What do you think of Bonser's prank - funny and harmless, or deeply selfish and manipulative?!


25 hilarious tweets from women this week that have nothing to do with Trump.

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It's been a crazy week, with President Trump seizing power and overriding Congress by declaring a national emergency to build his wall and stuff.

None of these tweets have anything to do with this "emergency" (that is so emergency-y that Trump is spending the weekend golfing). Enjoy!

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19 Hilarious Memes That Perfectly Nail What It's Like To Be Single In 2019.

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If you are single you will definitely relate to these hilarious memes. Take a break from swiping and get ready to laugh.

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12 people share stories of near-death experiences that will make you value life a little more.

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It's easy to feel invincible when you're #blessed with good health, a roof over your head, and food only one Seamless delivery away. But life is incredibly fragile and can end in a split second, as one harrowing Reddit thread recently made clear. spacexe asked"What was your scariest 'A second later and I would've died' moment?" and people came through with some terrifying responses. I might never talk to a stranger, get inside a car, or go near a train ever again. Sure, I'd be doomed to a life of isolation and solitude...but remember when I mentioned Seamless? As long as someone brings food to my door, I'm set. In the meantime, read the below anecdotes and feel justified in your everyday paranoia.

1. Acridid12 got lucky.

I was walking into a Miller's Outpost (tells you the time period) and the 'M' from the sign above the store fell down and hit me on the shoulder. It was a big glass sign. One moment sooner and it hits my head. Because it drew blood, the store offered to give me any item I wanted so I wouldn't sue. I chose an awful red cardigan. I was 16 and dumb.

2. clipperlad was almost kidnapped! Omg.

I can not confirm whether this would have been death however it would have changed my and my parents life like death. I was about 6 or 7 and I went along with my mum to go train the new puppy we had. The training ground was quite far away from home and I remember that it was a big field surrounded by a forest and a motorway on the side of it. I was told to stay in the car and play on my gameboy (back when they were a thing lol). After an hour or so I got bored and I went to have a look at where my mum was with our puppy. The carpark was a little while from the training ground but I decided to walk towards her anyway. In the meantime an older man (30ish) starts talking to me and the naive little boy I was I talked back (regardless of all the times my mum told me to NOT TALK TO STRANGERS). He convinced me I was going the wrong way and told me he would take me to my mum and puppy has. We ended up by the motorway side and we were about to walk down the bank to the side of the motorway where his car was parked. As I am about to disappear down the bank I hear the loudest scream of my name from my mum, I look back and feel the grip of the man tighten on my hand but I was just in time to get my hand out of his grip and run towards my mother. My mum runs past me to see where this guy is but he had just got into his car and drove off. To this day I still imagine about the what if scenario and how close I was to being kidnapped and potentially killed.

3. LongJohnColt offered a variation on the theme.

My story is "a second earlier and I would have died."

Basically I got t-boned by a van while riding my bicycle. Missed me by a couple inches, destroyed the back of the bike, and threw me into traffic.

4. ethanlan's life could've ended in a split second.

Outside my college dorm my freshman year there was this "stoop" that was half under the building, half out from under it. The building was 18 stories tall.

So I'm sitting out there sitting on the steps (not under the building) and I get up for no real reason and walk under the building. As soon as I get under the building, a huge sheet of glass falls right where I was sitting. Some idiots where messing around on the 11th floor and knocked a 10x9 window pane out of its mooring.

5. kimb0q reinforced my irrational fear of elevators.

My friend and I were taking an elevator down to the cafeteria in our dorm in college. For some reason, we were arguing about something when the doors opened, so we hung back for a second.

Then the elevator dropped two floors with the doors open.

I still hate getting in/out of elevators and I do a weird running start every time.

Edit: happened in Canada, was an old building/elevator (<1950s)

Second Edit: We were in the elevator when it dropped. More terrified of the “getting sliced in half” aspect than the drop.

6. NZT-48Rules was in the worst carpool EVER.

When I was in junior high I was car pooling with another kid and her mom. For a reason I can't fathom she decided to race a transit train hoping to get across the tracks before the train stopped traffic. She gunned the car. I was in the back seat screaming NO. She hit the train. Because I was in the back seat I was injured the least. I had a pointy piece of metal pierce through my jeans and flesh until it hit bone. Had she been a second faster the train would have hit us broad side and killed us all.

Edit To answer the questions. This was 1980. She was not charged or sued. It was labelled an accident. She and her daughter suffered broken bones, lacerations and concussions. Because of the parental acrimony I couldn't be friends with the girl anymore. The family moved away before the end of the school year. I know at the time her mum was still not working. I'm not sure if she ever went back to work. Clearly she had or had developed some kind of mental or emotional problem which the accident probably made worse. I wondered if she was an alcoholic who began day drinking, but I never mentioned my suspicion to anyone. I needed crutches for a few months.

7. janearcade evaded certain death.

About 30 years ago my family and I were driving up to Jasper, Alberta in the winter. There was a slow car in front of us, and an impatient one behind us who kept trying to pass. Eventually the car behind us did pass, on a blind corner and hit a logging truck head on. The slow car in front of us was also hit, but my dad managed to put us in the shoulder and not in the collision.

This was way before mobile phones, or anything like that. So I remember my dad and my older brother getting out and going over the other cars and talking with the truck driver. It was this indescribable moment of total silence, and freezing cold, and disbelief until the authories came (quite a bit later). I remember sitting in the backseat with my younger brothers wondering what the hell just happened.

8. That's scary, fms10, but at least you got to miss work.

I passed out at work and came around in the hospital. They diagnosed a bleed on the brain and eventually decided to drill a hole in my skull to drain the fluid. Just as they were about to put me under, the phone rang. It was the Head of Neurology. I actually had a burst aneurysm. According to my doctor, I would have probably been dead seconds after they started the surgery.

9. elephantlover85 almost died thanks to a nurse's negligence.

When I was in middle school I called my mom on my cell during lunch because my head hurt so badly I couldn't move (she was 1 on speed dial). Well the nurse came and brought me to the office for a check up and some pain pills while I waited for my mom (we didn't live close). Nurse said no fever, and to take me home and put me to bed. My mom watched me get into the truck and decided that maybe we should go to the hospital to be safe. By the time we reached the hospital (it was further then our home) my temp was at 104 and I was incapacitated. I had meningitis. If we went home and she put me to bed like the nurse suggested, I never would have woken up.

Edit for detail: For those who keep asking/speculating it was Viral Meningitis (the less severe form) but it progressed very quickly. I had no headache when I arrived at school. By lunch time I couldn't move on my own and I couldn't see because light was too bright. The nurse came to get me and I didn't have a fever. After waiting for my mom 10 minutes and the 20 minute drive to the hospital and 10 minute wait at the hospital it was at 104. Yes we told the nurse after, but there was only some of the symptoms when I left school. She never gave me or my mother advice again, just told symptoms and gave pain meds.

10. Of COURSE some dumb teen driver almost killed HopelessDreamerDM.

I was freshman in college and came back to my hometown for fall break. I decided to go to a football game to hang out with some old friends. On the way home, I stopped at a red light and when it turned green, I pulled forward, as usual.

From the left, a truck suddenly hit me. He was speeding and ran the red light, t-boned me right in front of my driver's door. I luckily got out with just an injured knee and fractured clavicle and some bruising.

It haunted me for a while that, had I pulled forward just a little faster or he had been just a quarter second slower he would've gone straight into my driver's door and I likely wouldn't have made it.

He wasn't even drunk or under the influence, it was just a 16-year-old kid not paying attention.

11. luckygiraffe experienced danger while working construction.

I was working on a pipe crew in 1998, we were installing a large concrete vault in a pretty big hole. I'm standing in a ditch about six feet deep marking grade while the excavator operator is digging. So to the front of me is a large excavator bucket, itself weighing hundreds of pounds and backed by powerful hydraulics and thousands of pounds of steel armature, and behind me is a solid concrete wall about a foot thick. And the ditch is only a few feet wide and too tall for me to jump or climb out of with any kind of speed.

Suddenly the excavator spins to one side and the arm snaps out to full extension with full force, and the operator shuts it down. The bucket missed my head by about a foot. He climbs out of the machine, visibly shaken, and tells me that something has failed on the machine and the arm "wasn't supposed to have done that." So as he's been digging he's been noticing that ever so slightly there's a bit of a delay between his inputs and the machine's actions, and in the moment before failure he just felt "something wasn't right" and tried to pull the bucket in; when it didn't seem to want to, he turned the excavator "just in case" and that's when the arm extended. Had he not, I would have been crushed to fucking death.

There were two other excavator operators on that crew, and they were basically idiots. Had one of them been with us that day, I'm sure I'd be dead.

12. ...and one last terrifying anecdote from fruchte.

My dad and I were driving down the road after heavy rainfall in Vermont. He is driving, and I am fiddling with the radio. I hear a very load CRACK, and before I can ask my dad what it was, out of the corner of my eye I see movement.

An entire tree was falling on the road - due to the heavy rainfall, the dirt was too wet to keep some trees in place.

My dad stood on his brake, cartoon style, and we slid nearly right into the tree. I heard a pop before we fully stopped, and when we lurched back to 0mph, we were both breathing hard. My dad got out to check the damage, and the pop I hear was a branch hitting a headlight out.

First time I've ever seen my dad call 911. It was scary. Could have been he end of us if he didnt top to chat to the waitress after we left the restaurant to go home.

This 'fan' mansplained a musician's own song to her and Twitter isn't pleased.

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How lovely to be a woman in music. While experiencing systemic sexism, you're also treated to the specific misogyny of the music industry. People consistently underestimate you, your musical skill, and your ability to "hang" with the other musicians (a.k.a. mostly dudes). At worst, you're passed over for professional opportunities, not given credit for work, or targeted for sexual violence. At best, you're Beyoncé. Wait...should I become a musician?

Japanese Breakfast (née Michelle Zauner) offered an example of her profession's drawbacks yesterday and it's cringe-inducing AF. Reading it gave me flashbacks to every unfunny, untalented man that's tried explaining comedy to me. In one of those instances, the man cried because I challenged him. What a way to inadvertently test masculinity's boundaries!

Yesterday JB revealed a series of DMs she'd received from a self-described 'fan' that contained 'constructive criticism' she didn't ask for...or need. She's released two studio albums, is signed to a record label, and has performed on NPR. She knows what she's doing. Nevertheless, he insisted.

People were...nonplussed. Yeah. Let's go with that.

Other women in music could relate. HARD.

Utter nonsense. Hopefully that guy thinks twice before he jumps into an unsuspecting woman's DMs again. Here's my favorite response one more time for good measure and future reference:

People can't stop roasting this photo of Trump at brunch after declaring a national emergency.

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Two days ago, President Trump declared a national emergency. Today, he's brunching in Palm Beach without a care in the world, and the Internet has reactions in spades.

Let's rewind. On Thursday, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders confirmed via Notes that Trump would forge ahead with funding his border wall, Congress and its budget be damned. Though we're supposedly in the midst of a national crisis, Trump's been spotted in Palm Springs ordering omelettes and chillin' like the villain that he is. I can't blame him. He works hard and wants to relax with some brunch! Just kidding. He's fundamentally averse to work. He probably opposes it for religious reasons.

Twitter's having a f*cking field day with the image, which would make an incredible lower back tattoo. Let the communal dragging commence!

23 Memes Jesus Is Not Going To Be Happy You Laughed At.

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Warning: don't scroll any further if you're easily offended by memes that are full of sex, sins, and other totally NSFW things. These memes will only be funny if you have a very filthy mind. ​​

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Trump calls 'SNL' the 'real collusion.' Sad!

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SNL kicked off last night's episode with a cameo from Alec Baldwin doing his infamous Trump impression. The cold open satirized the president declaring a national emergency during a press conference, and honestly it wasn't that far off from the real life event it was making of. In the sketch, Baldwin puts on his best Trump voice and tells the people of America,"Wall works. Wall makes safe. ... Abuelas and bebes unless you give me wall." Like I said, it's not a long way from reality.

You can watch the full clip here:

The crowd was eating the performance up, but unfortunately the president was not as pleased. In fact, Trump was so upset by the sketch that he tweeted about it. Does Trump know he can just like, not watch SNL if he doesn't like it?

Anyway, his tweet about his disdain for SNL was more concerning than usual because he implied that they shouldn't be able to do what they do, AKA make fun of him (and literally everyone).

Trump seems to think that SNL only targets Republicans, which goes against the fact that the show spent the entire Obama presidency poking fun at Obama. It is literally the writers' and performers' jobs to make fun of whoever is in office, but Trump doesn't seem to be able to handle it. Sad!


The press release for Meghan Trainor's new EP has people talking. What did we just read?

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Look, I love a spicy PR move as much as the next girl, but I am also willing to admit when things go too far. And too far is exactly where things went with Meghan Trainor's recent press release for her new album. The PR email was overloaded with millennial, stan culture slang and it was...a lot.

Where to even begin here? I suppose we can start with the sentence about Billboard being "wet" for one of Meghan Trainor's songs. I truly never knew I would ever have to read that sentence, but here we are.

I would really love to see some behind the scenes footage of this person drafting this, because I can only assume it involved a lot of intense Googling of phrases like "wig snatch."

Naturally, people had some things to say about this.

I love the enthusiasm of this PR rep, but also...is they okay?

11 people share their embarrassing teen phases. We're not cringing, you're cringing.

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It's hard not to look back on our teenage years without cringing. All that angst and poor fashion choices make for some terrible memories. As our mothers told us, a lot of what we went through were just phases (thank God). I think we can all agree that the world is better off without all of my awful haircuts I used to rock.

While most of us try to forget our teenage years, a Reddit user inspired people to do the opposite. User tenamonth asked, "What 'emabarrassing phase' did you go through as a teenager?" and the internet delivered.

1. Kighla brought the emo vibes to a whole new level.

I used to want to sound like a cool, edgy, emo writer or something... so I would narrate things that were happening around me, out loud. I remember at a family event we were roasting s'mores and I was just like "Fire, slowly burning, destroying and turning everything black..." I can't remember any more because I'm cringing too hard.

2. DROPTHENUKES remembers the good ol' days of live journals.

My friends and I all had livejournals and we would regularly passive aggressively communicate with each other through them.

Livejournal Entry

UGH. I can't believe how crazy Sam has been lately. I know her boyfriend broke up with her, but that was MONTHS AGO. She's no fun to hang around anymore.

Sam's Livejournal Entry, the following day

I AM SICK. AND TIRED. OF PEOPLE WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE A BROKEN HEART.

3. J0nnyGreenGiant clearly wasn't afraid of heights, but others might have been afraid of J0nnyGreenGiant.

when I was a teenager i was huge WWF fan and there was this wrestler named Edge, who would perch in high places inside the arena and just watch the matches for months before he made his actual debut. Because of this, I use to do the same thing because I thought it was bad ass. I use to find high places and just perch there like a gargoyle for hours. ( In trees, on roofs of peoples houses, on ledges, anywhere that i could climb ) and I would just sit there , crouched motionless and watch peoples reactions when they would see me.

4. Now this is just blood embarrassing. (HairyHorseKnuckles)

British accent. I'm from the southern US

5. Plasterwork was ahead of their time.

When I was 15, well before Avril Lavigne happened, skater boys were the most attractive guys in my social environment. My friend, my sister and I would spend evenings hanging around the skate park, checking out the guys and fighting over which one of us would get to date the cutest guy. After about a month of this we conceded that the answer was “none of us.”

6. leafydew was a victim of the war against eyebrows.

I decided it was a fantastic idea to shave my eyebrows a finger-width thick in 7th grade.

My parents only recently told me they called them “Hitler brows” behind my back.

7. trolldoll26 cultivated a lewk.

In middle school I went through a phase of slicking my long hair back into a tight bun at the nape of my neck. I used a ton of gel to make sure my hair didn’t move. I also only plucked one eyebrow and made it super arched.

I was super jealous of all the girls who were thin and girly. I look back on my middle school years and cringe. Blessed be puberty.

8. sixesand7s sent mixed signals.

I did the whole dye my hair black, black finger nail polish, black smudgy eye liner (I was a emo dude)

But I also loved gangster rap, so I work big chains with batman symbols on them.

It was a mess

9. Great_Gogley_Mogley was off the chain.

I had a giant, thick wallet chain. Wallet chains were pretty common at the time but I went to Ace hardware and had them cut me a 18" section of their thickest chain. The oddest part of the story is that I didn't even attach it to my wallet because it was too thick. I just tucked it in my back pocket.

10. academiclady wasn't like the other girls.

Manic Pixie Delusional Idiot.

I thought by trying to turn myself into the opposite of every female stereotype - super into sex, not into commitment, loves sports and booze, not into "emotional BS," not into make-up or standard fashion, not into gifts, said PMS was a load of crap, etc. - guys would be dying to be with me. They would gush to all their friends about how I was SO COOL and NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS.

Turns out that being a big fake isn't that attractive at all.

11. Like many of us, MillenihilistBeatnick is still haunted by Hot Topic.

I bought Happy Bunny merch from Hot Topic unironically. Along with those TRIPP raver pants with the chains and Manic Panic AMPLIFIED hair dye in blue. I owned band tees without ever listening to the bands because they looked xXxhardcorexXx. I wrote angsty DBZ and Trigun yaoi fanfiction. Multiple. That were over 100k words.

DeviantArt.

12. insideouthoodie mixed business with pleasure.

I had business cards made (waaay before vistaprint) that had my name, number and title of Knight in Shining Armor. I would hand these out, with a smile, to any person that I found attractive, in or out of school.

I thought I was really suave but it is only embarrassing now as a groupd of newer friends and I were discussing this and them pretty much laughing at me for doing this.

13. gingersaysjump remembers the days of DDR.

Was far too good at Dance Dance Revolution, and would go places just to play it. I also wore those giant pants with too many straps so I jingled like a change purse.

14. Nach0Man_RandySavage might have been a genius?

I started a rap crew based on Winnie the Pooh. I was Pooh Daddy, my friend was the Notorious T.I.G. and another friend was Big O. We were writing a song called 'Honey Rhymes with Money'

The name of this group? Pooh Tang Clan.

Miley Cyrus came for Shawn Mendes’ thirst trap like a thirst-wrecking ball.

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Miley Cyrus and Shawn Mendes performed "In My Blood" at the Grammy Awards last week. Complete with a matching vest ensemble, the performance was a definite crowd-pleaser.

All that hot, vested musical collaboration would make it impossible for them not to become friends, which explains why Miley just had to say something when Mendes posted his recent Calvin Klein ad to Instagram. Complete with designer underwear, muscles, and more muscles--it is 100% the thirst trap of the year.

Damn, Shawn. That's a whole lot of abs. While Mendes is only twenty years old, that didn't stop the entire internet (and Miley Cyrus) from falling directly into the Calvin-themed trap of thirst. Posting a side-by-side comparison meme to Twitter, a parched Miley got in on the joke:

And people were there for it:

A lot of people couldn't help but also notice why Miley's joke is extra brilliant, though. Apparently Miley was referencing fellow Queen, Lady Gaga, for a joke she made in 2013 when Miley was 21-years-old.

Great job just bein' Miley, Miley. As for Shawn, those abs are a lot. You're making us all feel bad...bad and thirsty.

People are saying this wildly viral Rihanna birthday meme is better than astrology.

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Rihanna is not only an accomplished musician spanning multiple genres who has launched a wildly successful makeup brand, but she's also a paragon of style. While she's got enough confidence to pull off objectively ugly outfits that would read as a cry for help from most of us, a majority of the time Rihanna is reminding the world that she's got an eye for all that glitters and is gold.

In celebration of Rihanna's unfaltering commitment to serving up lewks, the Twitter user Guccisima started a new challenge urging followers to Google their birthday and Rihanna in order to get their assigned outfit. Essentially, this challenge functions as a type of astrological projection of your birthday vibe, via Rihanna's fashion.

Unsurprisingly, the challenge quickly went viral, and the thread filled up with Riri outfits matched to people's birthdays.

If anything, this challenge only further proves that Rihanna has fashion range and can pull off pretty much anything.

There is truly an outfit for every birthday, and each of them has a distinctly different vibe.

A lot of people are connecting how the outfits correspond to their sun signs.

It's pretty much impossible to lose with this challenge, all of the outfits are serving up attitude, it's just a matter of what attitude.

At this point, if you haven't Googled your birthday to see which Rihanna outfit corresponds, it's absolutely imperative that you do. This is for collective research, if nothing else.

5 people having a worse Tuesday after a long weekend than you.

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5. Malia Obama, because she's surrounded by snitches and the tabloids pounced.

Most of Malia Obama's friends don't deserve to be friends with Malia Obama.

While "First Daughter" Ivanka Trump™ is gallivanting around the world getting trademarks for her big fashion comeback in China, cool Harvard student Malia Obama has been spotted being cool during a vacation.

The Daily Mail "reported" that not only was the 20-year-old Obama spotted with a $20 bottle of rosé, she also expressed disdain for a certain current president who spent years spreading racist, xenophobic BS about her father and whose only consistent policy position is to undo everything he did.

Poor Malia is surrounded by snitches ready to sell her out at any moment. Obama's friends are like the Meghan Markle's Dad of friends.

I, for one, feel compelled to go easy on Malia Obama. It couldn't have been easy growing up the way she did...with such hot parents.


4. Roger Stone, because he might have Instagrammed his way to prison.

There's nothing at all suspicious about this guy.

Roger Stone, the Trump advisor who's always just one pair of dice away from starring in a regional theater production of Guys and Dolls, was indicted in the Mueller investigation.

Nicely-Nicely Johnson pleaded not guilty to lying about his efforts to conceal communications with WikiLeaks, and is enjoying his freedom right now because he was able to afford bail.

Ever the Trumpist, Stone couldn't help but use Instagram to threaten the judge presiding over his case, posting a picture of Judge Amy Berman Jackson next to a crosshairs with a blurb about how he insists that she's compromised.

Threatening a federal judge might seem illegal, but only because it is.

Stone (or his lawyers) might have had some inkling that inciting violence against the judge was wrong, because he (or his lawyers) formally apologized on Instagram and in a letter to the court.

View this post on Instagram

Statement of Roger Stone #rogerstonedidnothingwrong

A post shared by Roger Stone (@rogerjstonejr) on

Well, the apology's not accepted, according to Judge Berman Jackson. The judge ordered Stone to appear in court on Thursday and explain why he shouldn't be subjected to pretrial detention.

It's going to be fun when Don Jr. is indicted—there's no way he doesn't meme himself into solitary confinement.


3. Jussie Smollett, because his Empire scenes were allegedly cut and his case going to a grand jury after he allegedly faked an attack.

He's either the best or worst actor of all time.

Joke's on you, libs! An actor claimed to have been victim of a hate crime...and you had the audacity to CARE ABOUT IT?

Two Nigerian brothers and unnamed sources are claiming that the racist and homophobic attack on the Empire actor was a big, fat hoax. There's a special place in hell for somebody who'd empower Donald Trump for attention.

Smollett told Chicago Police that on January 29th, two men attacked him while yelling racist and homophobic slurs, and the latest theory is that he paid acquaintances to stage the entire thing.

In the midst of the controversy, TMZ is reporting that the case isn't going to any regular old jury but a GRAND jury to determine the credibility of the claims.

Smollett is also already (allegedly) facing consequences at work, with his scenes on the Empire episode currently filming have been cut down and his musical number completely scrapped.

One thing is certain: you know it's dire when you've lost Cardi B.

Cardi said she was "disappointed," and that if fake, Smollett "f*cked up Black History Month."

Cardi, however, is still giving Smollett the benefit of the doubt.

"Until he says out of his mouth that it was fake and this s–t was staged, I don’t want to completely blame him because, you know … police in Chicago are racist so they might probably try to frame him and make him look like he’s a liar," she said.

Until then, be very, very careful on Twitter.


2. The alleged murderer who googled how to get away with murder.

Rookie mistake.

A teenager on trial for allegedly murdering a six-year-old in Scotland forgot to clear his browser history, and now the court has heard what he's been Googling.

According to Mirror UK,a 16-year-old boy (who can't be named for legal reasons) Googled "how do police find DNA" before allegedly committing the murder, and Googling "how do police find things" is a surefire way to make sure that the police find the things.

Here's hoping that all murderers are this stupid! (And also that there are no more murders).


1. The former American Idol contestant arrested for selling drugs.

Going to Hollywood, if "Hollywood" means jail.

Antonella Barbra made it to the top 16 on American Idol in 2007, and having left singing behind, recently made it to the top of her new field: drug trafficking.

NBC News reports that Barba was arrested yesterday "on a federal charge of distribution and possession with intent to distribute drugs, and one count of conspiracy."

That's almost as criminal as her rendition of "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing."

According to a federal indictment, Barbra "conspired to distribute heroin, fentanyl and cocaine."

That's gonna be a no from me, dawg.

simon cowell facepalm GIF by America's Got Talent

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