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Ariana Grande tweeted-and-deleted a complaint about bloggers. Now it’s a meme.

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A self-own? A self-fulfilling prophecy? Ariana Grande kvetched about the bloggers and it's generating memes and blogs, such as this.

Pop star and large-sweatshirt-wearer Grande was unhappy with some moderate criticism of her Coachella performance with Justin Bieber, and tweeted-a-deleted a blurb about bloggers that manages to be both condescending and corny.

The tweet offended people not only because the usage of the phrase "them blogs," but because it showed a fundamental misunderstanding of who bloggers are and what they do.

Ariana, basically.

As a humble blogger who yearns to "feel lit inside," I can attest that most writers don't write blurbs about millionaires' tweets as part of a vast conspiracy to destroy their lives. Bloggers blog because we are humans with bodies, and therefore need to pay rent and health insurance!

She also seems to say that blogs have no purpose, which is likely not her take when the coverage is complimentary.

The Ariana Grande vs. Them Blogs feud was officially on, and people mocked her tweet with their own.

It's a tweet-long version of thatDaenerys Targaryen face.

Don't upset bloggers. We're equipped with.....blogs.

Or give us money and we'll gladly stop blogging!

Thank u, next.


20 things people living with ADD/ADHD wish others knew about ADHD. Yes, it exists.

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As common as it is, ADHD is one of the most widely misunderstood neurological disorders. It's most often associated with hyper-active children, especially boys, so when I was diagnosed with the disorder in my 30's, after years of being misdiagnosed with other mental health issues, I was shocked and relieved. Turns out, the disorder is commonly overlooked, especially in girls and women, adults, and over-achievers with structured, supportive childhoods. Check, check, check, and check!

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Before treating my ADHD, activities like writing projects, socializing, and even simple household tasks like laundry, required excruciating mental energy that could leave me, sometimes quite literally, gasping for air. If you or someone close to you is diagnosed with ADHD, you already know that there's a world of misconceptions about the disorder—ranging from "everyone has it" to "it doesn't exist" (I mean c'mon, which is it???). And those misconceptions are a big part of the reason so many people go undiagnosed and untreated for years.

Recently, someone posed this question on Reddit: "Redditor’s with ADD/ADHD, what’s something you wish people knew about ADHD?" If you don't have the disorder, you may find these responses illuminating. And if you DO, you may find yourself yelling "IT ME!!!!!!!" at your computer for the duration, or at least until you get distracted by one of your 1,000 other open tabs.

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1) Via BandyBenn:

It’s hard af to remember things. If I don’t think about it, other things get on mind mind and eventually I just forget. I’m talking about like a matter of minutes. The worst part is that no matter what, it always sounds like a pathetic excuse. I always feel like shit when I say “I forgot” because I really did but everyone else thinks I’m lying.

2) Via jaspergr:

I am listening to what you are saying it may just not look like it

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3) Via zaq0920:

ADD is "he's smart but doesn't apply himself"

I heard that all the time growing up.

4) Via Quizzika:

It means the world to us when you're willing to listen to us go on and on about our special interests and discuss them with us as well. Also, don't pull that "who are you even talking to" bullshit- that makes us super uncomfortable and worried that no one is listening to us.

5) Via jasmineflavoredpop:

I wish more people would understand that if I start spacing off a bit during conversation that it isnt them or the topic. I just have a very hard time staying focused.

6) Via oneofyrfencegrls:

I'm not being rude and not listening, there's just a problem with my auditory processing.

7) Via RedShirtDecoy:

It can look very different in women/girls than in men/boys. We can be physically hyperactive but for many women/girls the hyperactivity is mental.

for example, when I'm staring off into space and it looks like I'm not thinking of much the reality is my mind is going 1000mph and I can't stop it.

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8) Via randomevenings:

a day, week, month, even a year, are not a long time. Especially a day. An entire work day can go by in a split second and I haven't accomplished a single thing. Where did the time go? How did I manage to do that? Every day is like this except for the few frantic days before a project is due. But, it was also 2011 just the other day. It will be 2025 in a few days or weeks. This is the worst part. I don't get to experience time like other people. I barely remember doing the fun stuff over the years, I know i did it, but the memories are on fast forward, always. A long weekend is no longer than a regular weekend.

9) Via MrKonaBitte:

I should probably clarify I'm not an expert, just highly interested in brain function and mental illness, so correct me if I'm wrong.

Simply put, there are two types of dopamine; one that stays in your brain, kind of rewarding you for staying on track, and one that gets released each time you find a new stimulus. Less dopamine in the brain leads to you finding new stimuli, which should lead to more of it getting released and staying. People with ADHD, however, have a problem with keeping the dopamine, so they constantly look for new things to do.

Stimulants help because they release dopamine artificially, so you don't have to find stimuli. This makes you able to focus on a task, since dopamine is released constantly, without the need for a new activity

I think that your brain might be tired from the constant hunt for activities, so it just wants to rest any chance it gets. It's much easier to take a nap when you don't have any work to do.

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10) Via Dudebroman_5000:

Just as it is with other mental illnesses, it varies from person to person.

For me, it's not "I'm talking with you about- OH LOOK A SQUIRREL!". It's more of an internal struggle to keep my thoughts in line. It feels like there's always background noise in my brain, and keeping my focus on just one thing is similar to holding my breath. I've always felt that the whole "changing the subject of a conversation or being distracted by your surroundings" stereotype is very cartoonish.

11) Via SirEades:

In most cases untreated ADD can lead to developing anxiety issues in the future. Now my dumbass has to deal with both lol

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12) Via Sinclairlim:

  1. If I am doing something else while you're speaking (Fidgeting, looking around, focusing my eyes in a random object, tapping my hands, etc.) there's a good chance I'm doing that because I'm interested in what you're saying and doing this thing makes me focus. It does NOT mean I don't want to listen or I don't care.

  2. If I haven't talked to you in months that doesn't mean I don't care about you anymore. I simply got wrapped up in so many things I literally forgot you existed, but you're still my friend and I still love you and if you hit me up I'm going to buy you some beers at the local pub to make up for the lost time. Please don't be angry at me.

  3. I understand you're frustrated with me. I really do- I am as frustrated with myself as you are with me, because unlike you, I have to tolerate myself 24/7. Please be patient with me.

  4. If I "Don't look like I have ADD/ADHD" that's because I'm controlling myself to be not annoying to you. So please don't try to un-diagnose me. Doing so is you being a jerk with me while I'm trying to be nice to you, even if you don't notice it.

  5. I know it LOOKS messy, but I put my stuff in that place for a reason. If you alter that order YOU FUCK UP EVERYTHING LIKE YOU HAVE NO IDEA DON'T MOVE MY STUFF GODDAMIT

13) Via Shh04:

As someone who's worked in a neuro lab, did research on the genetics of ADHD for my undergrad thesis, and was diagnosed when I was younger with ADHD:

  1. Yes, it exists. It exists even in the DNA level. Certain genes are regulated differently, neurotransmitter levels are different, brain scans of people with ADHD are markedly different from those without ADHD.

  2. There are different subtypes. There's the predominantly inattentive, predominantly hyperactive, and both. Just because you can sit still doesn't mean you don't have ADHD.

  3. It's multifactorial and heterogeneous. This means that it can stem from different causes (genetic, early prenatal environment, exposure to alcohol or nicotine in utero, etc.) and affects different people differently. At this point, scientists are not 100% sure on its origin but they're circling around genetics as being the most likely factor to cause the manifestation of ADHD. Problems with the dopamine pathway are highly represented in ADHD, making some children with ADHD respond impulsively stronger to short-term rewards vs. long-term ones.

  4. It can be heritable.

  5. Those drugs? Yeah, they work. And the way they work is paradoxical. Most ADHD meds are stimulants. They increase dopamine levels in the brain by reducing its reuptake so there's more of it in the synapse, increasing chances that it can bind to the receptor on the other end of the junction so that it is transported along the axon. By increasing dopamine in the brain, the person doesn't need to exhibit risk-taking behavior so their body relaxes paradoxically. If you don't have ADHD, your brain processes dopamine normally so increasing its levels gives you an "upper" effect. This phenomenon is not well-understood yet.

  6. Around 5% of adults have ADHD, while 30-50% of children with ADHD will continue to manifest symptoms during adulthood.

  7. There isn't much evidence suggesting there is a rise in ADHD cases. What we do know is there is a difference in the way we're diagnosing cases nowadays, so this increase may just be because we're diagnosing better now. Studies suggest adult ADHD is still underdiagnosed, though.

14) Via valiantAcquaintance:

It's not just hyperactivity. It's hyperfixations, sudden bursts of motivation followed by week long bouts of nothing because suddenly nothing captivates my attention, etc etc.

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15) Via cdrogers14:

to the chatty students sitting behind me in class: i’m not asking you to be quiet bc i’m trying to be a dick, i’m just physically unable to tune you out.

i missed half of lecture, but at least now i know all the intricate details of your weekend plans.

16) Via TheCowardlyFrench:

It's not quirky or fun. I had a long bout with depression because of it.

17) Via

I procrastinate the things I want to do. I want to do my homework, I want to eat, I want to read, and so on -- I just can't. I don't know why I can't. I have spent literal hours pacing around the kitchen instead of just making food and eating, and I've spent hours looking at the wall instead of doing my homework. I am not willingly procrastinating; there is something broken in my functioning and I feel like a glitched out computer program on loop. (This is called executive dysfunction!) When 'laziness' becomes this distressing and disruptive, it isn't laziness.

On that note, it's extremely difficult for people with ADHD to differentiate between personal flaws and symptoms. For a long time I just thought I was stupid and lazy.

18) Via SquishyKing:

this is something even most DOCTORS dont even tell us about. ADHD has its side effects, one being RSD.

RSD = rejection sensitivity dysphoria

it is the WORST. its an anxiety disorder that basically amplifies the pain of being rejected and can even cause some delusions.

an example:

me: hi :) can i come over today?

friend: sorry not today, i have another friend over

the rsd: they hate you. they obviously like that friend more than you. maybe that other friend doesnt exist? are they lying just to get away from you? your so terrible why would they even want to hang out with you.

it causes overthinking and paranoia and its fucking terrible, so if people with ADHD seem to take things a little more personally, it could just be the RSD, so keep that in mind !

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19) Via Littlesneeze:

People with ADD\ADHD can be hard to talk to some times but for me with ADHD I feel like I can keep a coversation going incredibly well cuz I can just keep bring up random ass topics outta nowhere

20) Via childishinquiry:

I wish i could get more people in my life to genuinely understand how different I am from them. I can't call myself learning disabled around my family without them freaking out and telling me I'm normal. I'm not, guys!! I'm not normal, and we'll all get along better if we understand that!

Also: I hate going out to bars or restaurants with lots of TVs. It doesn't matter whether I like what's on TV or not, ADD is going to make me watch it. And then I'm going to learn more about the real housewives than about what you've been up to lately.

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If you related to most of these, and glanced at about 27 other articles before getting to the end, you may want to talk to your doctor about getting tested for ADHD if you're not already. And don't worry, you're not a lost cause! People with ADHD, with the right treatment, care and medication, often go on to be highly-functioning individuals who do things like run companies, write books, and even, if you can believe it, FINISH BLOG ARTICLES. Hallelujah. Thank you, Jesus (and Ritalin).

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27 Utterly Random Memes Everyone Should Laugh At This Morning.

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If mornings make you hate everyone and everything, you're not alone.

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Thankfully, these memes will crack you up. Laughter makes everything that sucks a bit more bearable.

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28 of the funniest, messiest comments celebs left on each others' Instagrams this month.

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Celebrities: they don't give a f*ck. JUST like us! Kidding, I give approximately a million fucks, last time I counted. But if I were rich and famous, you better believe I'd let it all hang out, airing out my personal life on social media for the world to judge, gawk at, and envy. Because who cares what the public thinks when you drive a Ferrari and have a private pool??

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The popular Instagram account commentsbycelebs takes advantage of the fact that, as the bio says, "even famous people love famous people." Celebrities love to leave salacious, intimate, petty, and even mean, comments on their own and their friends' Instagram accounts, as if that shit isn't public (and free!). The paparazzi may be out of a job soon because celebrities are doing all the work themselves. Here are some of the messiest comments celebs left on Instagram for the world to see, in the past month alone.

Thank you for your service to the community, celebs!!!!!!!! Watch out, TMZ. They're coming for your jobs.

1) Miley Cyrus has wedding dress regrets.

2) Chrissy Teigen loves to masturbatie.

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Who doesn't. #CommentsByCelebs

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3) Seth Rogen does NOT want to be horny.

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Roundup 💫 #CommentsByCelebs

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4) Squadgoals.

5) Chris Noth is probably high right now.

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That’s our guy. #CommentsByCelebs

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6) Hilaria, blink twice if you need help.

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Roundup ✨ #CommentsByCelebs

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7) Tyler the Creator, not Tyler the He-Ate-Her.

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Lmao. #CommentsByCelebs

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8) John Mayer is regular.

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He makes a good point. #CommentsByCelebs

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9) Kylie & Travis are in to GoT roleplay.

10) Uh oh, someone's coming for "MY WIFE."

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Roundup✨ #CommentsByCelebs

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11) The Leo LiLo knows is pro-climate change.

12) Justin HATES the Jets.

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Well that escalated quickly. #CommentsByCelebs

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13) Gwynn's titties still got it.

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Let's hear it for 40's titties. #CommentsByCelebs

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14) Lili Reinhart is not sure how that got there.

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Was wondering the same thing. #CommentsByCelebs

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15) No surprises here.

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Roundup ✨ #CommentsByCelebs

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16) WHO MAKES THEM THO???

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Wait so do we know who makes them. #CommentsByCelebs

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17) Gather round for a group convo about Sandra Oh's big naturals.

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We were all thinking it. #CommentsByCelebs

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18) Chrissy is the DILF gatekeeper.

19) ARE YOU GOING, THO?

20) These two are in to some freaky shit.

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Honestly, same. #CommentsByCelebs

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21) You tell 'em, Busy!

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💪🏻 @busyphilipps #CommentsByCelebs

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22) Relax, he's not a thin-skinned egomaniac....he's a comedian!

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*Update to previous post #CommentsByCelebs

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23) KENDRA, WATCH OUT.

24) Burn those sheets, bro.

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Good looking out, @justinbieber. #CommentsByCelebs

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25) Keep yer head up, Linds (and maybe delete Instagram).

26) Don't judge a Katie Couric by her cover.

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Roundup 💫 #CommentsByCelebs

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27) Pattie's not ready to be a grandma.

28) MOMMMMMMMMMMMM.

STAY MESSY FOREVER, CELEBS.

The funniest reactions to Jo(e) Biden launching his campaign.

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Well, it's official. Former Vice President and current Uncle Past His Prime Joe Biden has officially become the 100th* Democrat to formally announce their campaign for president.

*He's only the 20th, but it might as well be 100th.

Biden launched his campaign with a fourth-grade poem called "America is An Idea," in which he cited Donald "very fine people on both sides" Trump's reaction to the fatal white supremacist rally in Charlottesville as a reason to run.

Biden is pitching his campaign as a return to the old halcyon days of four years ago, in which racists were only spitting vitriol about Barack Obama on Fox News rather than proudly in the streets.

The launch lacks

People are roasting the campaign logo, which leaves it ambiguous whether he's a boy or a girl.

The graphic design department of his campaign definitely leaves a lot to be desired.

Biden also made it easy to riff on his treatment of women, which is quite literally a touchy subject.

To many, he's so 2000-and-late, a corporate-sponsored dude out-of-touch with a Democratic base increasingly focused on Medicare For All, the Green New Deal, and ending mass incarceration and the War on Drugs.

To quote the great Jackson Maine, "maybe it's time to let the old ways die?"

Mood.

We'll find out soon enough.

20 parents share the funniest, most ridiculous reasons their kids are crying. Stickers are sticky.

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What will send a child into a temper tantrum is often times a full blown mystery. I've seen kids flip out because they can't wear the same costume every day to school, or the fact that their sibling got slightly more fruit loops than they did. While we're all stressing about the Mueller report, there's a two year old crying somewhere about not being allowed to swallow Play Doh.

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To be fair, kids are just out here trying to understand a very confusing world full of people who are bigger than they are telling them why they can't do all the things they want to do. If kids ran the world, we'd eat macaroni and cheese for every meal and our dogs would be presidents. Honestly, it doesn't sound so bad...

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When a recent Reddit user asked, "Redditors with toddlers, what’s the most recent illogical breakdown they’ve had?" parents everywhere were prepared to share their kids' craziest hissy fits.

1. Oh my god, "brucelapluma."

I (slowly) walked up the stairs with my son trailing behind me. I heard him wailing when I reached the top. Turn around and see him full blown sobbing, face down on the stairs. Unbeknownst to me, we had been racing and I won.

2. So true, "GreatCatDad."

He felt bad because he couldn't marry my cat. We asked why and he said "because she can't dance and she would get stepped on". He was really upset

3. A true war, "sprickie."

One threw a fit because the other flushed her own pee down the toilet, then a fight broke out over whos pee it really was and who should have flushed it.

4. This is deep stuff, "5girls0boys."

My daughter cried because she couldn’t wear her red shoes. My wife gave in and put them on her. My daughter then threw an absolute fit because she was wearing red shoes

5. Oh no, "PM_ME_YOUR_AVERAGE_TITS."

My 2 year old had a meltdown because he wanted to wear two pairs of shoes at once, not one or the other. I thought I'd be clever and let him wear one of each, but that just ended up in him lying on the floor face down screaming into the floorboards.

6. Ok, but pine cones are so fun, "shastamccnastyy."

My son is now four but a couple years ago I took him camping. We were taking a hike and he just started pointing at something and SCREAMING HIS HEAD OFF. It was a pine cone. He was terrified of it. Then every other one he saw, he would flip out. I took him camping again last year and he is over it.

7. The constant struggle, "Joeysaurrr."

She's a bit young for words so I'm going off wriggles and tears but. She wanted to be put down, but when I put her down she cried and asked to be picked up. But when picked up would try to wriggle free of my grasp.

Repeated this a few times until I realised I couldn't win.

8. This is amazing, "Lonk-the-Sane."

We were trying to teach him to be polite, he asked for a snack so we delivered the classic "whats the magic word?" cue a full scale meltdown over the fact he misheard us and we couldn't provide a "magic bird"

9. Of course, "vegetarianrobots."

Bathtime everyday.

5 minutes of fighting to not take a bath.

Once in the bath they don't want to get out.

10. Oops, "8MAC."

My niece is like 2yrs old and I picked up in her little rocking horse thing and "flew her" around the room last weekend. She definitely enjoyed because she kept looking at me and yelling "up." I made that horse fly around until my arms couldn't handle it anymore.

Apparently she has been yelling "Up!" at all adults since I left and then crying/screaming when she doesn't get flown around.

Sorry.

11. Backfire, "Bangbangsmashsmash."

She got put in timeout for hitting her baby sister. She did perfectly fine through the whole time, but when I told her she was all done, she collapsed on the ground crying. Why? “I want more time out!”

12. Pretty sure I did this too, "EquanimousThanos."

I remember when my little sister was a toddler she would throw the biggest tantrum if we didn't get her pepperoni pizza. She always took them off the pizza and put them aside. But if you dared order a cheese pizza she would lose her damn mind.

13. Savage burn, "PhotoProxima."

When my three year old is mad she tells us, "I'm never coming to your birthday party!" She just had one and it was awesome so she figures that must be a good way to get us back in line.

14. Harsh, "abcdkirby."

My 4 year old was screaming about something and I told her that screaming would hurt our parakeets ears. She screamed back at me "THEY DONT HAVE EARS!!"

15. Wait until he discovers beer, "JPreadsyourstuff."

Took my son to the park he goes on the climbing frame and down the slide then throws the mother of all hissy fits kicking at the slide . I kneel down all dad like n calm him down then ask why hes kicking the slide .. his answer

" I hate it!, it's too fun!"

16. Oh man, "Dthibizz."

The other day I had an argument with my 2 year old because the stickers on his monster truck were actually stuck. He did not like this, and apparently doesn't appreciate the point of stickers.

17. All kids want to be dogs, "SeanLoves-UglyGirls."

My kid had a crying fit because I pulled the dog food out of his mouth and told him he couldn't eat it.

18. Tragedy of the year, "GentlemanBigfoot."

We raise chickens in our backyard. My son loves going outside to feed and watch them. The other day he threw himself on the ground and cried for almost thirty minutes because I wouldn't let him ride a chicken.

He only knew he could ride them because he's attempted and been successful before.

19. Ha, "moxzil."

This morning, because I will not agree to paint our house purple.

Last week, because she has a middle name.

20. Solid point, "gisellekennedy."

Said he didn't have legs and that his actual legs were his 'Back Legs' and he had no 'Front Legs', so he couldnt walk down the stairs. Almost fainted laughing.

23 Memes That Will Only Be Funny If You Have A Cat.

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"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this. "

--Terry Pratchett

Everyone knows cats rule the internet. These hilarious memes are solid proof of that.

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Prince William allegedly boned Kate Middleton's friend, but they want you to talk about Meghan Markle.

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There's a crisis of a union brewing in the UK, which is exposing the British media's racist tendencies.

No, it's not Brexit: It's rumors of Prince William's infidelity.

American tabloids have recently caught up with the whispers amongst the British aristocracy that His Royal Highness had an affair with Kate Middleton's friend Rose Hanbury, the Marchioness of Cholmondeley (which is somehow pronounced "Chumley" and somehow a real name).

British tabloid The Sun has long referred to Hanbury as Middleton's "rural rival," because they both live on fancy estates in Norfolk, England.The Sun reported back in March that Middleton demanded Hanbury be "phased out" of the friend group, which many interpreted as a hint that there's there there. Prince William's legal machine was spurred into action to suppress the rumours, and the tabloids found their content elsewhere.

While this plotline in the soap opera called The Monarchy has been going on, rather than publish juicy stuff like a rumored affair, the British press have been spending their time and ink scrutinizing the pregnant Meghan Markle.

Twitter is ablaze about the cheating rumors, with "Prince William" trending all day. People have been connecting the dots, theorizing that the deep dives into Meghan's every move were accelerated as part of a coverup plan.

The double standard couldn't be clearer.

Meghan was criticized for deciding not to have a photoshoot hours after giving birth, yet no one in the British press has criticized Prince William for allegedly cheating on his wife.

Why slam a prince for cheating when you can bash a woman of color for existing?

Let's also take this opportunity to note that Prince William is very bald now.

According to The Telegraph, the focus on Meghan has been by Prince William's royal decree.

Because the British are all about tradition, a tabloid did, in fact, find a way to make William's infidelity about Megs.

All this royal drama proves that the American revolution was worth it.


21 moms tell the truth about what they want for Mother’s Day. Flowers? Nope. Sleep? Yup.

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Mother's Day is around the corner in the United States and that means a lot of us are going to have to start thinking about how we can show our moms we care. Flowers, books, candles, and wine are staples, but sometimes all moms really want is time to sleep.

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Being a mother is exhausting and the fact that they only get one day of forced appreciation is pretty criminal. While times have changed drastically with women trying to "have it all" and men putting much more effort into family-related chores and activities, things are still far from perfect. Whether you're a new mother or a grandmother, you deserve a day to do whatever you want.

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When a recent Reddit user asked, "Moms of Reddit: What do you actually want for Mother's day?" moms everywhere were ready to get honest. After reading all of these, it seems that all any mom truly wants is time to sit down and not clean up after anyone. Clean your damn houses, people! Mom needs a break.

1. Amen, "Gingerpants1517."

A clean house, a long nap, and to not have to see my mother-in-law this year. It always turns into her day but hi, I'm a mom too.

2. Aw, man, "783742643."

My kids to remember it.

Mother's Day in the UK was last month.

3. Yup, "AbJ1622."

I’d really just be excited to get uninterrupted sleep for a night.

4. Yes, "GarnettGreen."

I want to go to the park with my husband and son. Maybe go out for lunch somewhere together. And I don't want to be the one to have to initiate things we do together as a family.

5. This is a fantastic plan, "tastinginstereo."

Champagne.

Someone to come deep clean my house.

Someone to cook me dinner while I sit on the couch with a drink.

6. Everyone wants a clean house, "twilexis."

Gift voucher for a massage, a clean house and the lawns mowed. And a charcuterie board and a bottle of paired white wine all to myself.

7. "What would you do for a Klondike bar?" "mrschukchuk."

To not have to hide in the bathroom to eat ice cream or sweets by myself. My 3 year old can hear the wrapper on a Klondike bar from a mile away.

8. Yes, "mydearmrsrobinson."

I want a house that stays clean for more than an hour, a meal I didn't make that I dont have to clean after, and a lovely day with my children and husband without having to worry about spending money. And chocolate, and a nap I don't have to set an alarm for.

9. Just clean your room, "justkiddingbutnot."

For you to get off Reddit and. clean. your. room.

10. Too real, "appetizerbread."

What I’ve learned from this thread is a clean house and if they have kids living with them, either time with them or a short break from them, is all that they want for Mother’s Day.

And my mom has told me that she wants a clean house every year yet I still clicked on this thread to see what I should get for her.

11. A+, "mommy_iy."

A clean house, solid uninterrupted dick down from my husband and dinner I dont have to cook or clean up. Not in any particular order.

12. Give her a massage! "lizzardx."

As a new mom (three weeks). I've been jonesing for a massage. Sitting in awkward positions for feedings and pumping has done a number on my back and to get away for an hour or so and get pampered (especially since I couldn't lay on my stomach for the last however many months lol) would be a treat.

13. Definitely, "ladyughsalot."

A large spliff. An afternoon alone with the dog on a forest trail. A steak dinner and a bath with a movie in a clean house.

I’m a simple woman LOL.

14. Get it, "Dm1116."

Hot shower...the kind where you stay in so long the water gets cold.

Very good bottle(s) of wine.

Steak dinner I didn’t make.

And a real good orgasm ....a very very good orgasm...

Then a nap.....wake up house clean.

Is this for too much to ask? 😏

15. Ok, but why do you hate pasta? "velcrodots."

I want my mother in law to step down and realise the day is no longer all about her and only her. She’s got two daughter in laws who are raising her grandchildren (our steps kids) week in, week out and we want some recognition!!!! And we don’t want to eat pasta for lunch at a restaurant we hate.

16. This is ideal, "cssmit."

I want to spend the day with my husband and kids but I don’t want to be responsible for anything. I want to make zero decisions, change zero diapers, fill zero bottles. Don’t ask me if you think it’s time for baby to nap, don’t ask me what we should do for dinner, don’t ask me what snacks we should bring. I want to expend zero mental energy.

17. Let mom play video games, "witchywoman869."

All I want is to be woken up with a "Happy Mother's Day", then left alone for the rest of the day so I can play video games and nap at will. Also dinner that I didn't have to make or clean up after.

This is all I ever want for my birthday as well - along with cake that I didn't buy or make.

18. Give her oysters, "HappyGiraffe."

I feel like a terrible mom for my first thought being, "I want oysters, a new laptop bag and tickets to my favorite band because they will be doing a show here in a few weeks!"

But...like...a clean house is also cool I guess

19. Let her read, "hananobira."

Quiet time to read a book.

20.The dream, "-kimbecile-."

To wake up naturally, just once. I’d love it if I could just sleep and not have to get up to my daughter yelling out, or my alarm, or my fiancé coming in to ask me something when he’s offered to get up early with our kid. Just one day to wake up properly when my body decides its time to wake.

21. Aw, "whtgrlxtrm13."

I wanna go to Target alone and get Starbucks and live my best basic bitch life for two hours.

Also, I wanna bang my hot husband. He's the reason I'm a mama.

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25 Memes That Will Only Be Funny To You and Your Best Friend.

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"A good friend will help you move. But best friend will help you move a dead body."
--Jim Hayes

BFF, Besties, Ride or Die. Whatever you call your best bud, you know the bond you share is stronger than anything. You guys always laugh at all of the same things, and this hilarious meme list is no exception.

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26 Utterly Random Memes Everyone Should Laugh At This Morning.

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I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.

– Flash Rosenberg

Coffee + memes = sweet relief from your morning crabbiness. Get caffeinated and then get ready to laugh.

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5 people having a worse Monday than you.

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5. President Donald Trump, because he's so innocent of crimes he's personally pursuing a top Democrat to prevent him from getting his financial records. Plus, the world just read a 400 page report on his sliminess.

*hello darkness, my old friend*

The redacted Mueller report described ten events in which Donald Trump might have attempted to obstruct justice, as any innocent person would.

President Trump is attempting to stymie another inquiry into his Very Legal and Very Cool business practices, suing his own accounting firm and Rep. Elijah Cummings, the Democratic chairman of the House Oversight Committee, to block a subpoena Cummings issued for Trump's accounting records.

"It amounts to Trump — the leader of the executive branch of government — asking the judicial branch to stop the legislative branch from investigating his past," The Washington Post explains.

Everyone who isn't Trump.

This case comes on the heels of the redacted Mueller report, and calls from the Left to impeach the guy already.

The 400+ page-review of Trump's willingness to welcome Russia's attack on American democracy and his attempts to halt the inquiry into weather it amounted to conspiracy has people screaming into pillows begging to see him face consequences.

Did somebody say "impeachment"?

Trump may have taken the report's release as an opportunity to say "game over," but the games have only just begun.


4. Prince William, because reports of a royal feud eclipsed Jesus's resurrection.

"Oh I just can't wait to be king."

Speaking of cheaters, rumor (or rumour in the UK) has it that Prince William pulled a Prince Charles and cheated on his wife—and that the infidelity is causing a royal rift between Wills and Prince Harry.

Yesterday was both Easter and Queen Elizabeth II's birthday, and neither of those were enough to keep the focus off of the reported feud. Rather than walk into church alongside his brother and sister-in-law, Harry strutted into St. George's Chapel (his wedding venue #tbt) with his cousin Autumn Phillips, the physical distance implying an emotional one.

The Times of London is also reporting that William and Kate, threatened by Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle's increasing popularity, are floating having the Sussexes "exiled" to Africa as William prepares to become king.

"There are discussions in palace circles about how do we harness Harry and Meghan and this tremendous global attention they get. How do we draw them back, because laying down the law and ticking them off doesn’t work at all," an "ally" told The Times.

The Royals exist solely to be talked about, so rumors are a dime a dozen. What's notable about the above two is that Prince William's lawyers are allegedly threatening any outlet that reports on the alleged affair, and the Palace isn't denying the Harry and Meghan Expulsion Plan.

Harry and Meghan are said to"like the idea" of moving to an African country when the baby is born. The couple is known to bless the rains down in Africa.


3. Gavin DeGraw, because he fell flat on his face.

Ice ice baby.

Whether or not you recognize the name Gavin DeGraw (he's a singer most famous for singing the One Tree Hill theme song), we can all agree that watching somebody slip and fall on ice in front of the entire world is one of life's few pleasures.

After singing the national anthem at a Stanley Cup playoff hockey game, McGraw walked backwards and slipped forwards, and the video is a masterpiece I have watched approximately 71832 times.

The fall is so good, I recommend experiencing it from multiple angles.


2. The guy who got busted for impersonating an officer when he pulled over an undercover officer.

"How do you do, fellow officer?"

A guy in—where else?—Florida, was busted for pretending to be a police officer when he pulled over a police officer who was pretending just to be a regular guy.

Matthew Erris, 26, pulled over an undercover officer at a traffic stop and as luck would have it, the guy had the power to pull him right back.

Next time you want to pretend to be a cop, do it at home while bingewatching Brooklyn Nine-Nine just to be safe.


1. The guy who got beat up by the Easter Bunny.

Your move, Santa.

Last night in downtown Orlando, the Easter bunny was on a different kind of hunt when he stumbled into a bar fight and offered his divine intervention.

Luckily, this Easter Bunny didn't get pulled over by the real Easter Bunny for being an Easter Bunny impersonator.

Taylor Swift's new video sparks more speculation about her sexuality and a big reveal.

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Taylor Swift, America's favorite country-pop crossover Barbie princess, released a midnight new single featuring Brendon Urie of "Panic! At The Disco" called, "Me." Keeping up with the trend of catchy power ballads with lyrics vague enough to be universally inspiring ,"Me" absolutely fits the bill. The video is full of Mary Poppins whimsy, kittens, rainbows, unicorns and a pristine pastel palette, but fans are more interested in trying to decode the secret message.

Leading up to the video's release, Swift dropped hints that led many to believe she was going to come out as bisexual. This is a fun theory I will never let go of even if Swift marries four men and releases a song called "Me: I'm straight."

Unfortunately, this wasn't the theme of the song. Although, she does feature menswear and it looks absolutely fantastic.

Rather, a lot of fans think the song might be a nudge that she's engaged. Engaged, or...got a new cat? It's unclear. While she's been low key dating Joe Alwyn for awhile now, this could be one of those anthems where she's engaged to herself which is, well...alright.

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Fans are obsessing over the part of the video where she's offered an engagement ring, which she rejects, but then she's offered a cat, and she's into it. Is this what we've come to as a society? Yes. Am I somehow invested in Taylor Swift's future nuptials despite thinking most of her music is safe cotton candy? Yup.

There's also a scene where she's wearing what appears to be a heart-shaped engagement ring:

Honestly Taylor, if you didn't want people to think you were coming out you probably shouldn't have made your hashtag: #MeOutNow, but that's a separate issue.

While there's a slew of secrets and Easter eggs that people have plucked from this video (including a possible collaboration with "The Dixie Chicks") the most compelling would be a potential Swift wedding. I'm not sure why the world would wait in anticipation over your new cat, Taylor. No cat is that interesting.

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I guess we'll just have to wait and see what the album will tell us. Until then, enjoy all the butterflies and rainbows in this fun springtime jam.

The White House celebrated Melania's Trump's birthday with bizarre post. What is she thinking?

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Melania Trump, Donald Trump's First Lady and Third Wife, is a deeply weird person.

Before she became First Lady and was merely parroting her husband's racist conspiracy theories on TV, she mused about the inner lives of whales.

Her anti-bullying initiative, Be Best, has proven to be as effective as it is grammatically correct, seeing as she pretends to share a bed with the world's most notorious cyberbully.

Her official White House portrait is part of the Muppet Babies Cinematic Universe.

Her behavior is so bizarre, people assume that she has a body double.

She also famously wore a jacket that said "I Really Don't Care, Do U?" on her way to meet children kept in camps on the US-Mexico border.

To celebrate her 49th birthday, the White House put out a picture of Melania that highlights that people take pictures in rooms that she sits in. Namely, the Oval Office.

You'd think that to inspire awe in the First Lady, the White House would want to put forth a picture of her doing something or speaking to someone, but no: here she is on a couch.

What are they trying to say with this photo, other than "please Photoshop jokes into this"?

Is this to remind us of hour much attention, the president, gets?

Nothing says happiness like being alone, on a couch, with people literally looking past you.

Olivia Munn's response to fashion critics The Fug Girls prompted a mass dragging.

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If you read 'Olivia Munn' and thought, 'Who?' you're probably not alone. Allow me, intrepid entertainment blogger, to refresh your memory.

View this post on Instagram

@peterpilotto x @laurabasci

A post shared by Olivia Munn (@oliviamunn) on

If you're an OG Munnhead, you might recall her co-hosting 'Attack of The Show!' on G4, which covered pop culture, technology, and gaming. Olivia first gained prominence as a correspondent on 'The Daily Show' during the Jon Stewart Era. Her hiring helped inspire a spicy Jezebel post that spurred female 'Daily Show' staffers to defend their employer and work environment. After much ado about something - or nothing, depending on who you ask - she impressed critics and audiences alike with her performances in 'Magic Mike' and HBO's 'The Newsroom.' She acts, models, and dates hot people - all standard celeb fare.

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However, Olivia's making headlines this week for messing with the wrong fashion bloggers. The Fug Girls, a.k.a. Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan, have been covering celebrity style since the early 2000s. Apparently Olivia didn't appreciate their take on her Apex for Youth Awards look and responded via 'short essay' on Twitter.

Maybe Olivia assumed fans would rally around her and signal boost her criticism. In that case, she underestimated how beloved - and legitimate! - The Fug Girls are considered in both fandom and media circles.

People characterized her response as not just an overreaction, but an incident of 'punching down' at critics with lower public profiles. Much like her suit, it didn't make for a great look.

Not that Olivia didn't have her defenders. Anthony Rapp, best known for originating the role of Mark in 'Rent', offered a counterargument.

But those opinions were in the minority and easily drowned out by takedown after takedown. My favorites highlighted Olivia's hypocrisy as a woman whose career is buoyed by her appearance and partially owes her success to media coverage of it.

The human part of me wants to shake her and say, 'Girl, turn off your Google alerts, go to therapy, and don't "write" anything on the Internet again.' But the blogger part of me wants her to remain foolish and self-indulgent so I'll always have material. So with that in mind, my official stance is: you do you, Olivia. I've never gotten sick of your persona and its ambivalent-at-best attitude toward women's empowerment. As long as you keep making public mistakes, those direct deposits will stay hitting my bank account.

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17 people share their most hilarious interactions with strangers. 'You’re all going to hell!'

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We've all had that moment with a stranger or group of strangers when something is undeniably funny.

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Whether it's on public transportation, in line at a store, or just a shared moment of joy in the street, laughter is universal and weird sh*t is everywhere. Especially in major cities, it's nearly impossible to live a day without witnessing something outrageous. Holding in laughter out of politeness can be difficult, and if you're with a friend it's best to avoid eye contact and silently think of those commercials with sad puppies and "Arms of An Angel."

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When a recent Reddit user asked, "what's the funniest thing that a random stranger said to you that made you die laughing inside?" the internet was ready to share their funniest moments of stranger serendipity.

1. Amazing, "jimcol."

Okay, the laughter was not entirely inside, but years ago on the subway in NY, a crazy dude walks on the train and screams at everyone “You’re all going to hell!” and then steps off as the doors close. Total silence as the weirdness of the moment settles in. Then, without missing a beat, guy across from me goes, “Shit, I thought this train was going to Harlem.” Entire subway car of cynical New Yorkers bursts out laughing.

2. It's a fun song, "JonoTheDog."

I was in the drive thru of a Wendy’s one time. An employee exited the building with his headphones on and was singing Who Let The Dogs Out at the top of his lungs. He saw me, stopped singing, and started walking away. A few seconds later he come up to my window and said, “yes, that is what I’m listening to.” Then he walked away. I laughed so hard at the whole situation.

3. She gets it, "BurkaBurrito."

I was helping a customer pick out a new bra and she said she wanted her breasts to be lifted. She said, “my boobs are so saggy that if my nipples were eyeballs, I’d be able to see if my shoes were untied”

I really tried my best to remain professional but I couldn’t stop laughing lol

4. Wow this got me, "WinningToad."

I must've been about 10 or 11. I sat down on a bench next to an old guy to sort my shoe out. I took my shoe off and he just turns to me and says "are they golfing socks?" I look at him with a completely blank look on my face thinking "wtf??" as I looked away he just said "there's a hole in one"

5. Aw, "brookski_lee."

Was leaving Walmart and the 80ish year old greeter says "Thanks for shopping at Dollar Tree!"

6. A+, "kingbluetit."

A few months ago I was waiting at a road crossing with loads of other strangers, waiting for the man to turn green. This was a busy main road in my city.

A little girl on the other side of the road did THE MOST ACCURATE IMPRESSION of the 'beep beep' that the crossing makes so blind people know it's safe to cross, and the entire crowd of people just stepped into the road. I had seen her do it, so I stayed put, but I couldn't stop laughing. My girlfriend was confused.

50 adults pranked by one absolute genius 6ish year old. It was magical.

7. Damn, "official_fox_news."

May of 2000, passing through Norwood Louisiana with a friend, at around 2 in the afternoon we stopped to gas up/grab some snacks at the most podunk gas station known to man.

A young man, extremely agitated comes in with frustrated gestures and angrily shouts/gestures at the cashier with an accent that is beyond region, beyond stereotyping, beyond anything I have heard before:

"Where da' got damned wally-mellyons at!!" at the top of lungs, approaching hysteria and tears.

8. Duh, yawn yawn. "dwilatl."

This reminds me of the time I asked for directions in south Georgia and it went like this:

Her: Go down there and take a lef

Us: Uh-huh

Her: Then go pass the gas station

Us: OK

Her: Then yawn yawn

Us: Yawn yawn?

Her: Yeah. Then yawn yawn.

Took us forever to realize she was saying "then you're on your own."

9. He was trying to help, "trustfundbabelfish."

A few years ago I let my friend cut my hair... it did not go well.

I was living in Philadelphia at the time and was walking through South Philly when I passed two strangers in the middle of the conversation. As I pass, one of them says to the other: "Hold up, I gotta talk to this guy."

He precedes to shout to me: "Aaayo! Your hair looks like SHIT. Come over here."

I was amused, partially because of his bluntness and partially because he wasn't wrong. I was curious, so I walked over to him. He says: "Look, a buddy of mine owns a barber shop two blocks away. Here's his business card--I'll write my name on there, if you mention that I sent you he'll give you a good deal. Bruh, but seriously take care of that shit."

I never ended up going to his friend's shop, but I frequently use this story as the perfect example of Philly culture: rude, blunt & in your face yet somehow coming from a place of genuine care.

Plus, it's fucking hilarious.

10. Excellent, "capcalhoon."

Not to me but definitely memorable. Was waiting for the BART train (public transportation in the Bay Area) and some young, cocky looking douche was yelling at the booth attendant because he missed his train. First the rant was about the schedule being off, then "wait until my father hears about this!", then about his overall disappointment in the station, then about "you people", etc.

The attendant pulls out a book and starts reading.

The guy gets furious at this and demands her attention, she loudly retorts "when this conversation swings back to something germane to our situation then I'll pay attention".

He yells and stomps off, I just stood there with love in my heart for that lady.

11. Oh my god, "oppapi666."

Worked at a smoke shop that sold electronic cigarettes years ago. A customer came in complaining that the new flavor made her pee smell funny. I couldn't keep a straight face when I said I wasn't sure if that was related. Then she says, "Oh, well it could be an STD or something I guess...Thanks!" and walked out.

12. This poor kid, "arivin12."

The college I attend frequently has local elementary and middle school kids on tours, especially on Fridays.

One particular Friday I was in line for the cafeteria when a group of kids came walking by with a tourguide. One kinda chubby little dude looked a bit uncomfortable. He was biting his lip a little, and sweating. This part of the tour is usually when they have a bathroom break, and clearly buddy needed to go. At this point I should note that the bathrooms are visible from where we're standing.

But the tour guide, a fellow student of mine, didn't seem to notice. She just kept going on and on, talking about the history of the building. I watched this kid go from nervous, to deeply anxious, to visibly clenching over a span of about 3 minutes. He's staring at the stick figure dude on the men's bathroom sign as if it was the risen Christ.

Ms. Tour Guide takes a break in her spiel. I figure she's done, the next words out of her mouth will be ones to free this boy from the purgatory that is having to use the bathroom on a school trip. It'll be over. He'll be free.

What followed, instead, was this.

"So in 1995, a professor named A.B.C. Kalamazoo-"

"Move lady, I'm gonna shit my ass!"

He ran past her to the bathroom, and presumably destroyed it. Poor guy. Had the entire line in tears with laughter though.

13. Yup, "NightOfTheSun."

An old man on the street with a big, jack-o-lantern grin on his face and two Chihuahuas under each arm loudly proclaiming to no one in particular, "I used to carry grenades! Now I carry dogs!"

14. Small talk champion, "RiSET0FaLL."

I work in retail, and I’m not sure why, but this had me dying for a while. I still laugh when I think about it.

Me: “How you doing today, sir?”

Customer: “Yep.”

And he went on his way.

15. This is adorable, "RottenAvocad0."

I was a lifeguard at a school once, and overheard this exchange between two 8yo girls:

Kid 1: What if your birthday was on the same day as your wedding day?

Kid 2: dramatic gasp DOUBLE CAKE!

16. They're right, though, "relghadban."

I once was canoeing with my fiance for the first time and we were having a bit of trouble at first getting a rhythm going so we were along the edge of the water hitting the canal. This random couple was walking along the wall and said to his wife while pointing at us

"Ahh canoeing, the true test of love"

My fiance and I bursted into laughter for 20 minutes and then finally got our rhythm together

17. This should be in the training manual, "ComicSal."

Just the other day checking out at the Cracker Barrel, the older gentleman ringing my wife up accidentally said, with all confidence, "Have a thank you!"

25 Workplace Memes Everyone Should Laugh At By 5m.

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That feeling when you can't take one more second and your job and you're seriously about to snap at the next coworker who crosses your path, yeah we get it.

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These hilarious workplace memes will release the tension and have you laughing until you finally get to clock out.

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18 hilarious tweets about being a woman on the Internet.

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Being a woman isn't necessarily a cakewalk, and that reality extends to Online. Dudes pop up everywhere to comment on your looks, personal life, and whatever you post like it's their damn job. Could be your inbox, your DMs, public comments on your status - it's supremely important that their voices be heard! And if there's pushback or you ignore/delete their comments, you've affronted the Gods Of Masculinity and you must be punished. I wasn't cyberbullied until the 2016 primaries. That's right, I wasn't cyberbullied until my mid-twenties! By an older man I'd met exactly one time IRL. If you love being scrutinized and criticized for existing - or worse, having an opinion - you're gonna love being a woman on the Internet! Talk to your doctor if being an Online Woman is for you. Side effects include: migraines, screaming at your computer, and experiencing a loss of hope. Not recommended for the thin-skinned and weak-willed.

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I've __bravely__ taken it upon myself to compile some of the funniest tweets about web browsing while female. The best part? They're all from ladies! That's a promise, though with the caveat that men sometimes masquerade as women online. Beware.

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Guy 'volunteering' abroad begs for money on Facebook until an ex-employer calls him out.

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Gather round, dear children, for a tale so rife with foolishness it defies logic. A man who claimed to be 'volunteering' abroad in Israel solicited his Facebook network for funds, saying he had a mere $600 in his possession and 'every place is expensive.' I have no idea of the currency exchange rate, but that's a moot concern, as it ends up the man wasn't volunteering at all. His work gave him an allowance, lodging, utilities including Internet, and a local family that ensured his welfare.

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I guess you shouldn't fraudulently panhandle on Facebook if you're friends with your boss? You also shouldn't fraudulently panhandle on Facebook, period. Feast your eyes upon this f*ckery, friends:

Oops! Not exactly outstanding foresight with this guy. Perhaps Facebook wasn't the ideal forum for his begging. The only upside I can identify here? At least he didn't try to crowdfund. No GoFundMes were created in the process, and for that we can thank goddesses.

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His pride must've been hurt, however. The embarrassment of a) begging for money could only be compounded by b) being unmasked as a liar by your (former) employer. Ouch. That said, zero sympathy for someone with deceptive intentions - and poor judgment. He was asking for it, really.

Please HILP!

-Joe_of_all_trades

Thissss guy everyone

I could write a book about this guy

Context!

Nope... it was working as a “goffer” on a farm and a bit of a odd job man. Yunno, “mate can you pop to the shop and get some milk” - “carry that box”. He was a friend of one of the other guys here and came in from working in a foreign country to the UK after not liking his previous job in Asia.

He came to join the team whilst we moved machinery out of the UK to a new place in Europe.

Yeah the work was kinda tough in places; but also not exactly awful... plus yunno get to travel.... free food and accommodation.... and pay.

-the95th

/quiteyourbullshit

-laughing_gore

I don’t know what you do but that sounds like a great package! Wouldn’t mind “volunteering” myself ;)

-JoeCon1999

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25 Memes Men Probably Won't Find Funny.

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Yes, my queens, this post is for you. Get ready to laugh until your mascara runs off at these hilarious memes.

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