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Woman finally reconnects with the mom that abandoned her as a baby, finds out she's been married to her brother.

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Ok, now you're just showing off. (Via Daily Mail)

All right Game of Thrones fans, the season may have ended but we have some high quality incest romance coming your way.

A Brazilian woman who had been abandoned at birth went on a radio show to be reunited with her mother -- and found out she had been married to her brother for seven years. 

The married siblings met for the first time ten years ago when, after recovering from a failed previous marriage, Adriana moved back to the hometown where she and Leandro had been born. They immediately fell in love and had a child together, who is now 6.

Adriana, 39, and her husband Leandro, 37, probably connected over the fact that they had never met their mother. The only thing either of them knew about their mom was her name was Maria. They thought it was a coincidence.

Desperate to be reunited with her mom, Adriana sought the help of a local news show, Radio Globo's The Time Is Now, which regularly helps people track down lost relatives. They found her mom, but then at the end of the show, mom Maria said she had another surprise: Adriana had a brother. She explained she had also had a boy she gave up named Leandro. 

But that's her husband's name. 

That's when Adriana had her The Usual Suspects moment and put it all together. Same birth town, same mother's name, same mom. 

The Daily Mail reports that when she heard this, Adriana sobbed uncontrollably and said, 'I don't believe that you're telling me this. Leandro is my husband. Now I'm scared to go home and find out that Leandro doesn't want me any more. I love him so much.'

Despite the uncomfortable revelation that they were inbreeding, this case of incest turned out to be a wincest. 

"At first we were really knocked by it all," Adriana said in a follow up interview on Radio Globo. "But we had a family meeting and told everyone that we are going to stay husband and wife, whatever anyone might think. We have so many plans together, nothing's going to break us up, nothing."

(by Myka Fox)


Best case.

Some guy's wife came home drunk and tried to make "grilled cheeses."

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I wish I had a.) this much joy for cooking, and
b.) this good of an excuse for sucking at cooking.

Public Service Announcement: If your spouse comes home wasted, but in a cute and amusing way, it's your obligation to upload it to YouTube and let me share it with the world. In fact, I think people should just start adding that to the standard wedding vows: "...for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, and with the understanding that I will put your most adorably embarrassing moments on the Internet for people to laugh at." That's what redditor tivodvr did when his wife came home at 2am last night craving "grilled cheeses."

You may now kiss the drunk, cheesy bride.

Update: It turns out I'm a fool and that My Drunkwife is the creation of none other than comedian and Someecards contributor Ashley Bez! Congratulations, Bez! You have achieved the highest calling of an online comedian—tricking a blogger into thinking you're a normal person.

(by Johnny McNulty)

5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - August 7, 2014

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1. Donald Trump Doesn't Want His Name Associated With Trashy, Run-Down Trump Casinos

Adonis-like millionaire Donald Trump—who made headlines this week for stating his opinion that Ebola-infected medical workers "must suffer the consequences" of their humanitarian efforts—has apparently finally found a thing that he does not want his name plastered across in giant gold-plated lettering. The real estate mogul is trying to get Atlantic City's Trump Plaza and the Trump Taj Mahal to remove his name due to the run down conditions of both establishments, claiming in a lawsuit that they're damaging his brand, which "has become synonymous with the highest levels of quality, luxury, prestige, and success."


2. Larry David Is Taking His One-Trick Pony To Broadway

Curb Your Enthusiasm lead and creator Larry David will reportedly be starring in a Broadway play he has written, titled Fish in the Dark, in which he will presumably play a misunderstood, crotchety guy who has a number of arguments over small matters with the other characters in the play, much like in that one other thing he did.


3. Netflix Promises Another Season Of 'Arrested Development' For Fans To Bitch About

Netflix chief content officer Ted Sarandos is promising fans of the cult sitcom Arrested Development that they'll have a whole new season of the show to pick apart and complain about on Twitter for years to come. "It's just a matter of when," he told USA Today.


4. Marianne Faithfull Reveals That Jim Morrison's Death Just Might Have Been Drug Related

Singer-songwriter Marianne Faithfull has revealed new details concerning the death of rock music icon Jim Morrison. She claims that her boyfriend at the time, Jean de Breteui, supplied the Doors frontman with a supply of heroin that caused his death at the age of 27 in Paris. "I could intuitively feel trouble," she told Mojo magazine. "[H]e went to see Jim Morrison and killed him. I mean I'm sure it was an accident... The smack was too strong? Yeah. And he died."


5. Artist Creates Tree That Grows 40 Kinds Of Fruit You Won't Eat

New York artist Sam Van Aken has spent the last nine years of his life creating a tree that bears 40 different types of stone fruit, including peaches, plums, apricots, and nectarines. "The trees were a way to collapse an entire orchard onto a tree," the artist explained. In related news, there's apparently at least 40 different kinds of stone fruit.


(by Dennis DiClaudio)

Jon Stewart interviewing the entire Wu-Tang Clan is weirder than you can imagine.

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One of these things is not like the others.

Last night, I had this incredibly bizarre dream after eating an entire cheesesteak and falling asleep in front of the television: Jon Stewart was sitting on the set of the Daily Show, and he was flanked on either side by every living member of legendary hip-hop outfit the Wu-Tang Clan. I mean they were all there: the RZA, the GZA, Inspectah Deck, Raekwon the Chef, U-God, Ghost Face Killer and the M-E-T-H-O-D Man. And they were all just hanging out, having incredibly strained conversation like this wasn't the weirdest thing that has ever happened on Comedy Central.

But then something even weirder happened! I discovered that I wasn't dreaming after all. I was actually watching the Daily Show for real in real life. Now I just don't know what to make of reality:

(by Dennis DiClaudio)

Eventually yours.

Use me.

Ghost at cemetery arrested for being a ghost.

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This guy is totally a ghost. (Via Portsmouth News)

Anthony Stallard, 24, is an unemployed ghost who likes to hang out at cemeteries, but he recently was arrested at one for pretending to be a ghost

According to the Daily Mail, he was kicking a soccer ball at some graves at Kingston Cemetery in his home town of Portsmouth, and then he was seen "throwing himself backwards, waving his arms about and going 'woooooooh'.

I'm convinced. Maybe this guy wasn't pretending to be a ghost, maybe he IS a ghost. 

Yes, the classic "wooooh" could be done by a really insensitive human, but what about the soccer ball kicking? It all makes sense. Maybe, just like in the movie Ghost, he is a new ghost who was practicing moving things in the physical realm. 

Remember?

Apparently, there were some mourners there who found his behavior unsettling, and called the cops. He was arrested for "using threatening or abusive words or behavior likely to cause distress."

Prosecuting attorney Tim Concannon said, "I'm assuming he was pretending to be a ghost."

Well, Mr. Prosecutor, you know what happens when you assume, right? You miss out on the chance that you're dealing with a real fucking ghost over here. 

Stallard didn't fight the charges, though. He pleaded guilty and admitted that some people could find his behavior distressing. 

Maybe he felt bad for upsetting the living, but more likely he just decided to plead out because that is a lot easier than having to explain the afterlife. 

(by Myka Fox)


The rumors about the LAPD chief, his officer daughter, $6K, and a horse turned out to be true.

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The family that rides together does shady business together.

Plenty of daughters want their daddies to buy them a horse, but the daughter of LAPD Chief Charlie Beck was a little different: her daddy used LAPD funds to buy a 10-year-old horse off of her to the tune of $6,000, according to the Los Angeles Times. The horse will be used for the equestrian unit, of which Beck's daughter, Brandi Pearson, is an officer. 

Now, the department buying that horse by itself wouldn't be a big deal, as long as a.) Beck recused himself from all decision-making, and b.) they made it clear that his daughter owned the horse. That's exactly what he claimed he did. Vehemently. Then, the LA Times, which has been breaking this story, found the document where Beck actually signed and approved the purchase, which did not explain where the horse came from. In a textbook execution of the oldest "oops I got caught" routine in the book, Beck suddenly "realized" that he had, in fact, been involved.


Ohhhhhh right. THAT horse. Whoops.

The LAPD's commission president immediately (really, really immediately) said he was satisfied with Beck's explanation and that he had done nothing wrong. Other commission members now say that their vote to give Beck a second term as Chief is "fluid." 


How could you have reviewed it? It had just happened when you said this.

Forget it, Jake. It's horseytown.

(bJohnny McNulty)

Who plays dead better? This otter or this snake?

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Just a couple of convincingly dead animals.

Playing dead, or thanatosis, is a classic survival technique utilized by a wide range of species the world over. In addition to being remarkably effective at discouraging predators, it can also be surprisingly adorable. Case in point: this otter and this hognose snake.

Take a look at both videos and decide who wore the cloak of death better:

Pros: Cares enough to jump right back into character when he realizes he's still in the scene.

Cons: Needs work committing to the moment; should have waited for the director to yell 'cut.'

.

Pros: Keeping the mouth open and the tongue lolling out is a nice touch; commitment to the role of 'dead snake' is quite impressive.

Cons: Should have done the research; should have known that deceased animals are incapable of spinning themselves back into 'dead' position.

On the whole, I'm gonna say it's a draw. While neither of them is likely to give Matthew McConaughey a serious run for the E.G.O.T., both of them perform more convincingly than anyone on this season of True Blood.

(by Dennis DiClaudio)

The Bolo Tie Acceptability Spectrum

10 people who look ridiculously like famous people.

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Ed Sheeran and Ed Near 'em. (via Tobias476)

A thread was started on reddit Wednesday which encouraged people who often hear they resemble famous celebrities to post photos of themselves. The results were crazy. (And I don't mean the obligatory crazies who looked nothing like the celebrities they claimed to resemble.)

That said, a lot of the people looked so much like celebrities they probably don't go a day without getting stopped by people asking for autographs. The downside is that, once a week, they probably also have to hear how much they suck because, let's face it, people can be dicks.

Here are just some of the people that have people doing double-takes.


Hey girl, how 'bout a threesome? (via steelcap77)

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Scar Jo and Scar Whoa!(via rehpet)

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Michael C. Hall and his Double Dexter. (via manfromneptune)

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Anna Kendrick and Kinda Kendrick.(via waddleship)

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Am I stoned, or is that Seth Rogen?(via rtcaptain)

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A double shot of Scotch.  (via natural-frown)

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That is a spitting image of Tim McGraw's hat. (via imar0ckstar)

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Taylor Not Quite As Swift(via theglossienerd)

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Two Mr. Pinks, doesn't stink. (via coolinout61)

For dozens more celebrity look-a-likes, plus a bunch of delusional dreamers, go here.

(by Jonathan Corbett)

Unforgettable.

Blame game.

A sheriff's department posted this image of Kim Kardashian's face on meth.

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In the Sheriff's imagination...was she smoking meth with her nose? (via TMZ)

The Sheriff's Office in Bradley County, Tennessee doesn't want people to do meth, and they're willing to make Kim Kardashian look ugly in order to prevent that. Well, they were until TMZ noticed, and now there's a 90s-style "Under Construction" page on the Sheriff Department's site.


Mmmm... del.icio.us-ly retro. (via Bradley County Sheriff's Office )

Up until now, one of the primary tactics for scaring people off America's amphetamine of choice was to show what it did to people's faces. Most of us have seen Faces of Meth (which was created by a different sheriff's department) or some version of it at this point, and yet people continue to do meth. I imagine this is the point at which someone in the Sheriff's Department said "let's be honest—no one cares about their faces because they aren't famous. What's a face people actually care about? Kim Kardashian's. I would never do a drug that might affect her face."


Photoshop: Not Even Once. (via TMZ)

I guess they eventually figured out that it's not exactly acceptable to use a law-enforcement website to unintentionally spread a rumor that one of America's most famous people is horribly addicted to meth. As silly and weird as this is, I do hope that it keeps someone from picking up an addicting drug. I mean, could you imagine if Kim Kardashian's face was used to sell something incredibly addicting that people lose all their time and money on? That would be absurd.


Much like with illegal drugs, they give you a free taste first.

(by Johnny McNulty)


Don't miss it.

Check yourself.

The Facebook IQ test is for idiots.

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Nice going, Einstein.

Ever wanted to prove you're smart, like, really quickly and without much effort? So does everyone else on Facebook. You've seen 'em posting their results, all proud of themselves. Almost every person on my feed has been proud of their 126 IQ which, according to this random scale I found, puts them at a "very superior intelligence."

After all, what is Facebook for, if not to feel very superior?

YouTube's 32pritch decided to make everyone feel really stupid by seeing if he could outsmart the smart calculator. Watch him take the test by just quickly clicking randomly like a someone who is trying to wake their computer from sleep mode. The tester has become the tested.

Wow, 110. According to that scale his random clicking has "superior intelligence." With the tiniest bit more effort he could get himself into the exclusive Mensa online dating pool

Ready to feel very super exceptionally superior? Take the test yourself

(by Myka Fox)

Watching kids.

The reports of Steve Jobs not being dead were greatly exaggerated.

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Steve Jobs' caretaker is gonna have to put another peeping Tom in the Trash Bin.
(via redditor TheHorseSizedDuck)

For one brief, shining moment this week, Steve Jobs was alive again. Photographic evidence had proved that he was living in secret in Brazil, being pushed around in a wheelchair by an attendant. Of course, like an Apple keynote address promising everyone free iPhones, it was too good to be true. 


Not a dead CEO, just a testament to the triumph of the human spirit. Dammit.(via)

Instead of an inspiring genius with maddening qualities who ignored cancer treatments that would almost certainly have saved his life, it turned out to be an inspiring man with no known maddening qualities who only ignores doctors when they tell him his actually incurable disease will keep him from doing what he loves.


Not enough rounded rectangles on that wheelchair for it to be Steve Jobs.
(via BDOutdoors)

The spoilsports over at Valleywag, who had published this photo earlier, got emails from people revealing the true identity of the paralyzed man in the photo, including from the man himself, Andy Hahn. Because Valleywag hates fun, I guess, they shared the truth with the world.


Read the rest of Andy's letter to ValleyWag here. (via Gawker)

Oh well. I suppose one might argue that maybe it's better that we got to read about Andy's refusal to back down in the face of Lou Gehrig's Disease than to discover that Steve Jobs had coldly deceived the entire world and possibly his own family into thinking he was dead. I mean, if Steve Jobs was still alive, Walter Isaacson might have had time to edit his biography of Jobs down from its current length of a billion pages (I didn't do an exact count, but that's what it felt like). Maybe someone can write a slightly shorter biography of Hahn one day, because he seems to have a pretty good attitude about things.


I'm kinda glad he's not constantly re-inventing the high-velocity rifle like Jobs.
(via BDOutdoors)

Whether or not you approve of hunting, you should approve of not laying down in the face of overwhelming odds. If you'd like to contact Hahn for some motivational speaking or something, he's got some simple instructions.


That's a pretty common name in Rio, I gather. (via Gawker)

Check out more about Hahn at Valleywag, or at BD Outdoors and AllOutdoors.com.

(by Johnny McNulty)

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