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26 Memes To Help You Start Your Day Off With A Laugh.

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"The only courage you ever need is the courage to fulfill the dreams of your own life."

-Oprah Winfrey

Listen to Oprah. Fulfill your life's dreams right now and keep scrolling on this meme list. I'm assuming your life's dream is to laugh at awesome memes if so, that's a wise choice my friend. Wise choice.

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16 people share about first dates that didn't go as well as they had hoped.

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Everyone loves to hear a terrible first date story...

However, it's not as fun when it's actually happening. With online dating and ghosting and the general stress of modern romance, it's hard to go on a normal date these days. The typical approach tends to be to start with a few drinks to test the waters and then perhaps head to dinner. But, who pays for the bill? Is it romantic to split it? Is it respectable to go home with your date after only meeting them that night? The rules are intimidating, but the rules also don't really matter. Do what makes you feel happy and comfortable and the rest is history.

When dates go off the rails, though, it can be pretty hilarious. A recent Reddit user asked, "what's the weirdest date you've ever been on?" and the answers were cautionary tales. From dates where the conversation was strictly about horses to dates with an entire small town family, sometimes the only thing to do is run toward the horizon...

1. Yikes, "SuperNovaPangolin."

Went to the church of Scientology, roped in with promises of free food. We were on a date for Christmas. So, so odd.

Edit: they had us take the personality test and tried to break us up. They said we were completely incompatible, to the point of being toxic. We've been together 10 years lol

2. Wow, "ThanksCancer_com."

Went on a first date where someone asked me why I cut my hair so short. I guess I could have lied or blown off the question, but I don’t like to start anything with falsehood, so I told him that I had chemo for breast cancer—that I’ll probably be completely fine now, and we absolutely didn’t have to talk about it. He asked me a few questions about the surgery (single mastectomy), and he said “I wanna know which one it is, but I can’t look at your boobs NOW!”

I told him if he could guess which boob got the axe, I’d buy the drinks and appetizer. He won, and I never saw him again.

I’m positive I am the weirdest date THAT guy has ever been on.

3. This is "The Twilight Zone," "AtomicMojave."

I went on a date with a girl to a bar and grill. The girl just got set free from a bad relationship. The bartender was her uncle, the server was her sister, and her fresh ex-boyfriend was there on a date with another guy.

4. Oh no, "The_Blind_Ashland."

Was going to go to a bar with a girl I met on tinder. She showed up 15 minutes late, which wasn't that big of a deal. Got out of her car, crossed the street, and then awkwardly shook my hand. Told me she forgot her ID at home, apologized, and then left. :/

5. Dear god, "amberlumps."

Third date with a guy from hinge. Started off completely normal- went to a pub for a few drinks. Pub closes. Guy invites me back to his.

We get back to his and have a few more drinks, he then asks if I'd like to smoke a joint. Hadn't smoked for a few years but thought "hey it'll be fine". End up feeling very sick and unable to move. Guy doesn't have a bucket or bowl so brings over the entire kitchen bin and places it next to me. He then suggests we watch a movie.

Guy puts on American Psycho and I sit there for the next two hours paralysed and paranoid completely convinced he's going to murder me.

Also he lived on a boat.

6. This is a nightmare, "darmenda."

My first dating app date. Starts off pretty good, we barely put in our dinner order and her phone starts blowing up. Her ex was drunk and causing a scene outside her apt. Her ex kept calling, then her roommate started and then the landlord calls threatening to call the police. We get our food to go and I take her back to her apt. Long story short, both her and her ex are crying messes, she goes inside, leaves me outside with crying drunk ex who starts telling me all about how he messed their relationship. Dude is way too drunk to drive, I end up driving him to his apt, Uber back to my car, realize my date took all the food with her. The joys of dating!

7. Worst double date ever, "EpicShwinn."

When I was 15, a girl asked me to the movies. It was I Love You, Man. Her parents decided to attend too. Then one of the characters cursed like 10 minutes into the movie and the parents told us we were leaving. They took me right home and that was that.

8. I would go on this date, "Disprezzi."

I went on a 4 hour date with a woman who rides horses for a living.

The entire 4 hours she told me everything I could possibly want to know about horses and then some.

I learned so much about horses that I done forgot most the shit she told me.

9. ...Are you married now? "666bongripper666."

This girl from tinder "invited me over to cuddle." So I assumed that we were totally going to bang. I get there, she cooked a lovely dinner, and we just kind of held each other and talked about our traumas for a while. I told her about stuff I don't even really talk about with my closest friends. Then we moved to her bed and she fell asleep like, fast, and we just sorta cuddled all night. We never even kissed, except those back of the neck ones that happen when you're spooning. I woke up, we cuddled a little more, and then I went to work.

It was an awesome, super intimate experience. Pretty weird though.

10. Wow. Just. Wow. "ryanzbt."

We met at Applebees, and she brought a friend with her which was odd because this was a first date, then she invited me to her place for more drinks, she lived in a single-wide trailer that was in the back yard of her parents place, which was also a single-wide. She went to her room and shut the door and I was left there by myself. In the morning I left and her dad was shirtless watching me leave and yelling at some dogs that I think were trying to attack me.

11. A waive to a priest indeed, "naturebuddah."

Told a girl I was into granola environmental shit. She replied "me too" we hit it off quickly. Anyway... She kept talking up how incredible her job was and that she taught a bunch of kids about environmental issues and how amazing this job was. Basically begging me to come check it out. So we picked a day and I took the day off from work. It had been a while since we saw each other so she decided it would be fun to send me real kinky texts about fun places we could sneak off to around her work as it was her fantasy. I was down, and I was getting in the mood myself.

I drive to her work, only to find out she works at a trash burning powerplant and recycling center and on that day we'll be giving a tour to a bunch of preschoolers. Throughout the "date", basically every chance she could, she would try to get me turned on when no one was looking....there were about 20 kids and teachers right there! Meanwhile we're walking through piles of rotten trash, or looking at machinery that could kill you in an instant if you stepped over a boundary line, or staring into a white hot furnace to see the burning trash. Thefore you walked around the dirtier you felt, which in a way was not surprising. I still had the worst blue balls in my life which in itself was questionable. Anyway... The tour ended, she took me in her office and well let's just say it took three showers and a waive to a priest to feel clean after that.

12. I hope somebody brought bleach, "HippyKiller925."

This chick suggested we go to this experimental art exhibit thing. It had a giant ball pit for adults (among other things). Pretty interesting to have two 30-somethings in a ball pit for a date. Fun time

13. This was a robot, "AALen."

I went on a date with a girl who does not ever listen to music by choice, who says all food tastes the same (kept emphasizing that "she eats to live and not lives to eat"), has never finished any book or tv series in her life, and was about the coldest (not angry, just cold) human being I've ever met. Conversation was as awkward as you can imagine.

I'm no psychologist but I'm pretty sure she was my first (and hopefully last) schizoid personalty disorder date.

14. Not a picnic site, "Back2Bach."

The weirdest was when I was a college junior and dated a girl that was a classmate.

She wanted to have a "picnic" in a cemetery at a gravesite where her ex was buried (he had been killed in a crash 2 years previously).

I told her that I'd accompany her to visit his grave, but that picnicking and having a good time there somehow didn't seem appropriate.

15. Is there an online market for dead mice? "ComedyDude."

Went on a date with a girl who revealed that her hobby was buying dead little mice, doing taxidermy on them and then dressing them up in tiny little metal battle armor and swords to stage historical battles...using dead mice...that she bought online.

She showed me lots of pictures before the date ended.

16. Keeping it classy for mini golf is important, "KelsasaurusRex21."

We were going mini golfing and the dude picked me up wearing a full on tux.

It was so odd and everything about the date was uncomfortable.

Sean Spicer's 'Dancing with the Stars' debut gets memed.

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Sean Spicer, the propagandist whose greatest hits in the White House include gaslighting everyone about the size of Donald Trump's inauguration crowd and saying that Hitler didn't gas anybody, made his Dancing with the Stars debut on Monday night.

One might assume that Spicey joined the show to cleanse himself of the Trump stench and make a hardy six-figure sum, but he posted on Twitter that he's actually dancing on television on a mission from Jesus, to stand up for Christians everywhere.

The Lord works in mysterious ways, and here's what standing for Christ looks like to Old Spice.

A "star" is born.

The image of Spicer dancing in the puffy shirt from Seinfeld, dipped into nuclear waste, has become a symbol for society's willingness to forgive fascists if they're funny.

The Democratic Party has even chimed in on the matter.

Spicer's betting that if you see him shimmy, you'll forget that he defended the Muslim Ban, so Twitter is making sure that we don't forget.

If the stench of working for Trump doesn't follow him forever, at least this GIF will.

To quote Sean Spicer, "Jesus Christ."

Bride makes Facebook post demanding $400 wedding gifts and 'a new car.'

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Most wedding registries include gift options that range from small and affordable to more costly luxury items. This variety gives guests an opportunity to find what they can afford (and want) to give the couple, without putting people in awkward positions emotionally and financially.

However, not all weddings are organized with the same consideration in mind, and there are couples that opt to lay out a very specific list of expensive gifts, rather than a more comprehensive spread.

One bride is currently getting roasted on Reddit, after a screenshot was shared of her Facebook post demanding each wedding gift cost over $400.

Her post starts out with a reminder about RSVPing to the wedding, and then quickly escalates into a numbered list of gifts all starting at $400.

Special mentions include Gucci and Louis Vuitton purses, a new car, or a simple cash gift of $400 if the process of buying a whole car stresses guests out.

The Facebook post reads:

"Hey everyone!

We we are all aware that my wedding is coming up in October!

I've already sent out all the invitations. Meaning most of you have gotten the! Thanks for those who have RSVP'd already. If you have not, then please RSVP by Sunday otherwise we're not going to be able to have you."

"That being said, I would like to announce our gift registry to everyone! To all those coming to my wedding, there are a list of gifts that you can bring. You MUST choose from the list or consult me first. There are no exceptions."

"The list includes:

1. Any KitchenMaid appliances over $350, this does NOT mean regular kitchen items like an apron or a spatula. I'm talking about their stand mixer, blender, etc.

2. Any Gucci or Louis Vuitton purses. Other purses are allowed but please consult me first.

3. Any clothes OVER $400 from Calvin Klein, Moschino, or Nora's."

"4. New floor tiles for the entire house (I know this one is a bit of a stretch but I'd gladly appreciate it)

5. A new car or a new trim for my car, or anything in relation to the car.

7. $400 or more gift cards to any of the following places: Fifth Sak's Avenue, Bloomingdales, Nordstrom, Calvin Klein, Gucci, Whole Foods, Sprouts, maybe even JCpenney. Other places are acceptable but please talk to me first."

"8. Any Korean of Asian beauty products totalling $400 or more.

9. Any HIGH CLASS paintings or decorations totalling $400 or more.

10. A cash gift of $400 or more."

"So as you can see, there are a lot of things on here. I am expecting everyone to spend AT LEAST $400 on the wedding gifts. I'll accept slightly lower amounts as long as you tell me first. Also, everything on here is first come, first serve. Here's a link to the spreadsheet where you can find who's bringing what. Remember to apply early if you don't want to get me a Gucci purse or anything you don't want to get! Thanks loves! xoxo"

Fnshow316 noted the strangeness of the bride calling it "my wedding" and requests purses as gifts.

"Intersecting all the gifts are about her (clothes, purses). Who buys someone a purse for their wedding gift?

I’m gonna go ahead and spend $400 on a divorce lawyer as that should cover the groom’s first hour with him. Anyone want to pitch in?"

Sarcastic_Troll proposed a perfect way to troll the bride.

"I'd tell her I'm giving a gift card, bury the envelope in the gifts somewhere, and when she opens it it'll just be a card that says "Haha fuk you. Thanks for the food and liquor, and unfriend me bitch."

"I can be really mean and get a used up Nordstrom gift card with a sticky that says, haha, jk, you know I love you." And it be nothing but a blank card worth no money. Honestly I'd pay the $5 for an empty gift card just to fuck with her."

"Hopefully she's not one of those ppl who actually open gifts at the wedding. But, I think she's the type of person to be that tacky and that petty"

WhitBG noted that the bride didn't even get the shop names right.

"KitchenMaid? Fifth Sak's Avenue? Bitch thinks she's fancy but doesn't even get the names for things correct."

Kattsu-Don thinks guests should give the bride a taste of her own medicine.

"I would sign up for multiple items cheaper items then not deliver anything. That way the can go through the same excitement everyone else felt when they got the wedding invite then the requirements."

While the OP who posted the screenshot of the Facebook post has yet to circle back with details on the comments or status of the bride's guest list, it seems reasonable to predict there will be a few less guests given these demands.

Couple sends wedding invite with penalty for late responders: 'bring a chair and a sandwich.'

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Penalties for lateness aren't just for students and library card holders: they're also for wedding guests.

A clever couple sent brutally honest reply card with their wedding invitation, telling friends and family what to do if they don't send it back in time.

Under the standard "Declines with regret" and "Accepts with pleasure," it reads:

If you do not RSVP by September 10th please bring a chair and a sandwich.

It's quite hilarious to see the less-than-fancy word "sandwich" published on beautifully twee stationery and raised lettering.

The comments included some other tips on how to assure people respond.

"We didn’t put the address to the venue on our invites. You had to RSVP to get it," BJJJourney wrote.

Russian_repost_bot had an idea on how to win the wedding: "Don't RSVP, and bring a lazyboy and one of those extremely long subway sandwiches. Assert dominance."

They seem like a fun couple. If I were invited I'd definitely accept with pleasure.

27 people share the things they learned about their friends' sex lives that 'shocked' them.

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We all think we know our friends, but how well do we really know them? Many people have secret lives in the bedroom that they don't even talk about with even their closest pals. Maybe because sex and sexuality are still stigmatized in modern society. Or maybe because they are into some stuff that is probably best kept on the DL. Someone recently asked Reddit:"What did you find out about your friend's sex life that actually shocked you?"

These 27 people share the things they learned about their friends' sex lives that they were not expecting, and their friendships may never be the same:

1.) From flippantcedar:

My best friend uses blowjbs as bribery to an insane degree. I mean, I'm not above a little BJ bribery myself, but she uses it on her husband like several times a day. Wants coffee, but doesn't want to make it? BJ. Doesn't want to clean the dishes? BJ. It's her turn to walk the dogs? BJ. It's kind of hilarious, she's super lazy, but prefers giving him head to doing most chores and apparently it works for him too. She also doesn't want sex as often as he does, so she finds this keeps him happy and she doesn't feel the need to "put out" as much. All of which I find hilarious.

2.) From iScoopPoop:

A woman I dated previously moved back home upon finishing grad school. She lives on some sort of "Free Love" commune estate. She has 10 husbands.

3.) From stealingfirst:

He was into swords and getting cut and stuff

Not that kind of swords.

4.) From MotterFodder:

That a friend has been married for 15 years and they’ve never actually had sex.

Not. One. Time.

They’ve tried but not been successful. From the info I’ve gotten, I think he’s not hard enough. He won’t see a doctor. They’re both virgins.

It’s all so sad.

Oh no.

5.) From corinthianblue:

One friend was all into gangbangs and orgies. Never took her as the type.

6.) From cootbaybee:

My sister-in-law told me what she apparently calls my brother in their, uh, private time.

Big Daddy Roo Roo.

7.) From SherrLo:

In high school a classmate of mine was bragging one day about losing his virginity to a lady in our community who happened to be the mother to a girl a grade above us. We all called bullshit and asked why he’d make something like that up cause not only is it not believable it just wasn’t even a funny lie. Fast forward six months and fellow classmate has to to leave class on multiple occasions to go to court. Older lady was bragging to a co worker about sleeping with said classmate and now older lady is a sex offender.

8.) From woolmittensarewarm:

I used to frequent Craigslist back before they banned anything even resembling a dating or hookup ad. I once placed an ad and got a response from a guy on my team at work asking if I wanted to f*ck his wife. As in bluntly asking "Hey buddy, you wanna f*ck my wife?" Your email address is stripped off when using their built-in email system but the name on your email account comes through. The response was in this guy's name (which is unique) and he included a picture of his wife who I have met. The pic didn't show her face but she has some visible tattoos so there is zero doubt it was her.

9.) From teaching-man:

She used to shit in her ex husband. Kinda took me by surprise.

"IN"????

10.) From TheAmazingApathyMan:

That they eat a*s despite being a germaphobe.

Not all heroes wear capes.

11.) From Link-to-the-Pastiche:

A couple that I was friends with was into necrophilia play. He would make his wife take an ice cold shower, quickly dry off, and then she'd just lay there while he f*cked her cold unmoving body....and they really liked it.

12.) From rustyplayer1515:

One of my former best friends and his fiancee had been together for nearly 5 years and due to be married in a few months when this happened. They were very open about their sex life saying it was awesome and that they had their fun nearly every night. A few months before the wedding she confided in me that they had actually never had sex before because he was scared. Apparently he had her act like they were having daily sex to make it seem like everything was normal. First couple years they tried and didnt get anywhere with sex. After that he just lost interest in her. Apparently the mental abuse in the relationship was pretty high too which she completely hid from everyone to save his a*s. this story is why this best friend is now a former best friend.

13.) From ruser777:

That his gf doesn't enjoy having sex with him (my best mate) unless she is really drunk. Never brought it up but the implication is a bit rough.

Edit: I dont mean this in any kind of rape way, its all consensual and they are a happy couple

14.) From AlternateNameNoShame:

That she had elaborate pirate role play sex.

We were housemates in college and I heard way more than I barrgained for.

Also the guy she had elaborate pirate role play sex with smelled bad and wore those shoes with the separate toes.

15.) From Jungleg1337:

My friend only do an*l because she saving her virginity for her husband. She has about ~5 bf up to this point.

16.) From Cutezacoatl:

A former friend of mine used to wipe her husband's butt after he'd been to the bathroom. Initially she'd do his washing and he'd leave stains on his underwear (for her? I'm not sure) and that progressed to some humiliation and her "checking him" when he got home from work every day. She told me this when we were outside having a cigarette and I then had to sit across from them both for the longest game of monopoly.

17.) From WillJongIll:

I knew this guy, lived with a friend of mine. Then one day I saw him on the local news’s version of, “To Catch a Predator.” I think he got got some time and might have been deported after that. That was quite a surprise.

18.) From ​​​​​wildwithit:

My friend was US army/special forces/green beret and would go on regular "shadow f*cking dates". He would find people online, mostly on Craigslist (this was in the 2012) and set up random anonymous sex liaisons with people he had never met, spoken with or had even seen. He would show up to an unlocked apartment or house, f*ck in the dark without ever seeing or speaking and bail.

One day we were playing xbox, he got an email, said "don't unpause it, I gotta go f*ck real quick.." He left, did the deed and brought a six-pack back all within an hour, sat down and kept playing. This happened a few different times and I think about it often.

19.) From shadow106t:

My bestfriend never masturbated until I told him the experiences of the luxury, then he actually did it and he questioned his life

20.) From IzJusMeOG:

Two of my friends used to date and, due to martinis and cider, I now know exactly how big he is and how long she can hold her breath.

21.) From IzJusMeOG:

Two of my friends used to date and, due to martinis and cider, I now know exactly how big he is and how long she can hold her breath.

22.) From viktor72:

My SO’s boss’s husband would call up various guys (sometimes police officer friends, etc.) to f*ck his wife at her work while she left the phone on speaker so he could hear. That’s all he wanted was to hear her moans I guess. It was interesting realizing this otherwise seemingly normal husband and wife with children had this phone cuckhold fetish (well the husband at least).

23.) From JTDriver13:

A friend of mine thinks of me while having sex so they can "keep going for much longer"

24.) From l8nitefriend:

My best friend in college got in a pretty kinky sexual relationship with this dude for a while. They’d do BDSM type stuff (none of which is particularly shocking to me) but I remember visiting her apartment and seeing a spoon out randomly in her room and asked why it was there...

She said she loved the taste of his cum so much he’d jerk off onto the spoon and feed it to her while she was tied up. I didn’t think she’d ever really shock me but that one took the cake.

25.) From ArendelleAnna:

He slept with a clown

26.) From onfire9123:

He posts himself and his girlfriend to pornhub and redditNSFW

27.) From BlankNothingNoDoer:

After several years I found out that one of my female friends wore a strap-on and f*cked her husband up the butt almost every time they had sex. I don't remember how the topic even came up, but apparently that was just how he liked it and she was happy to oblige.

He said that when he was 20 he did try it with another man but didn't really find any enjoyment in it because he likes playing with tits while getting plowed, so he only likes it when it's coming from a woman wearing a strap-on.

People are joking on Twitter about how millennials are planning for retirement.

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Retirement has become something of a pipe dream for millennials.

Survival mode is key for millennials and that means putting off future savings to simply get through another few years. Between crippling student loan debt and low paying jobs, the world isn't the same as the one that earned many baby boomers a house, a white picket fence and premium health insurance before 30 years old.

While millennials are often pegged as the entitled, selfish, lazy generation by their elders, most of them are just trying to get by. How do you save for retirement when you don't have a job that offers a 401K? What even is a 401K? Retirement, like health insurance, is a luxury now.

It's no surprise then that the hashtag: #MillennialRetirementPlans sparked a whole lot of jokes. The main joke being that, well, there is no plan...

Before we all cry about how we'll retire in the gutter let's laugh away the pain!

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Bartender bleeds through uniform to prove that her job's dress code is unfair to women.

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What's it like being a woman? Sometimes you literally have to bleed (or cry) to get men to listen to you. A woman who goes by inconvenientsilence on Reddit recently shared her story about how when she was 19 she fought back against a sexist dress code in her workplace by letting herself bleed everywhere.

The woman was 19 at the time and working at a UK casino chain where the women had to work on the casino floor while the men remained behind the bar.

She says the women were "not allowed to stand still" so even on a quiet day, they were forced to walk in circles. It was "frustrating," but since "the pay was good," she and the other women complied. It helped that the uniforms they had to wear were "comfortable."

Okay I have worked in a lot of different industries but this happened while i worked in a casino chain in the UK. At 19, I was a bar tender and shifts would usually be 12 hours at a time. While I worked there the dress code was smart black (so smart trousers and black shirts) which men and woman had to wear because it was comfortable. To get more tips, even though I was classified at a bar tender, the company forced the women to work on the casino floor making us walk in circles around the gambling tables and made the men stay behind the bar. The woman were not allowed to stand still so even on a quiet day we still had to walk in circles, this was made easier with our uniforms being comfortable. Although it was frustrating to walk around for hours on end the pay was good so we complied.

But then the company held a meeting in which they decided to change the women's uniforms, demanding that they wear high heels and "tight grey dresses" that "you could barely move in." Remember, their job literally forced them to keep moving.

The woman and her female co-workers complained to management that the new dress code would leave them "in pain by the end of the night," but management told them to "suck it up." So the woman came up with a plan.

Then the company held a meeting and told us how they decided to change the uniforms. Unsurprisingly the guys uniforms didn’t change at all but the women were told to wear tight grey dresses you could barely move in and high heels by the next shift, it was clearly to look more appealing and get more tips. Of course my female coworkers and I were pissed off about this and told the managers that we will not only have restricted movement but will also be in pain by the end of the night if we have to walk around for hours in high heels on the hard floor. Management did not care and told us to suck it up. After this we all gathered in the changing rooms and talked about how there is no way we are wearing this new uniform and shouldn’t wear it in protest. That's when I had an idea. I suggested that my coworkers do what they have planned and I will wear the new uniform because we needed to prove our point. After a long discussion and hesitation they agreed and let me do it.

She showed up to work in her new uniform, which she said made it "difficult" to turn her body and "near impossible" to bend over. She also "struggled to breathe," and her feet were in pain from wearing heels on hard floors. Nevertheless, she persisted.

Even as her co-workers encouraged her to change from heels to flats, the woman "pushed on through the pain" until the end of her shift. It was all part of her plan.

The next shift I walked in the building in the new uniform, my god it was uncomfortable, the dress made it difficult to turn my body round and bending over was near impossible, it was so tight that when i did kneel down I was scared it would rip. Management were really happy to see that I complied even saying to my coworkers how they should learn from me. I had to keep it cool while they said that as I was already started to get sore from the heels. It was a busy night and I was running around like a headless chicken, the dress made it difficult to keep up the pace as I struggled to breathe properly (I think the dress was not designed for this kind of movement) and the pain from my shoes increased to the point that at times I had to attempt to crouch for a second in the back to give my feet a rest. My coworkers started begging me to stop and just get flat shoes on for my own sake but I declined stating how I needed to prove our point so I pushed on through the pain till the end of the shift.

At the end of her excruciating 12-hour shift, when management came over to "see how everyone was," the woman smiled and removed her shoes.

She says her managers faces went from "all smiles to shock" when they saw her standing before her with her feet covered with blood and blood running onto the floor from open wounds on her heels.

Management came in when we all finished to see how everyone was and asking me how I found the shift. I smiled and said it was great with one small problem. I removed my shoes for the first time in 12 hours and stood in front of my managers mildly shaking. Their faces went from all smiles to shock when they looked at my feet to see my blood running on the floor from the open wounds on my heels, the injuries covered the entirety of my heels with dried blood on the back of my shoes. They started telling me I should not have done that and should of worn flat shoes but I reminded them saying “but it’s part of the new dress code, I had to wear high heels like you told me". As the injuries were exposed I started to feel the pain intensify and had to hold back tears but my shaking got worse. They made me sit down and got the first aid kit for my feet as I started to unzip the back of my dress saying how hard it is to breathe.

She says after that, the women never had to wear high heels during their shifts again. And though they still had to wear dresses, they were "made looser."

The dresses were still compulsory but the dresses were made looser and we never had to wear high heels on shift again.

TLDR: Managers made female employees wear high heels and tight dresses on nonstop 12 hour floor service shift, we complained but managers ignored us, I wore the new uniform even through all the pain, shoes cause bad injuries and my blood ran on the floors, new dress code was modified.

Women shouldn't have to literally bleed onto the floor to prove that a dress code is restrictive, uncomfortable and painful. But her story is not uncommon. Every woman has had an experience where someone didn't believe she was in physical or emotional pain until they saw it with their own eyes.

She explains that she didn't take legal action against the company because she was 19 and "wasn't aware" she could do that. However, now she has gone back to school to study law "focusing on the employment and contract side of things."

Edit: I'm sorry it was a bit anticlimactic. Just for the people asking about lawsuits or if I took any action against them, unfortunately I did not. When I was 19, I wasn't aware I could do that or how I could do anything about it but this and other work related issues I had over the years actually encouraged me to go to university and study law focusing on the employment and contract side of things. I'm starting my first year in 2 weeks.

Hopefully now she'll be able to help other women avoid having to go through what she went through.


25 Memes That Will Only Be Funny If You Wear Leggings.

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If you wear leggings every single day, as I do, these legging memes will hit home. The haters who say leggings aren't pants can just step aside. These memes are for those of us who live for comfort and understand jeans are a prison.

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20 pizza delivery drivers and hotel workers share the scenes they wished they hadn't walked in on.

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If you've worked any customer service job you already know that the general public has no chill whatsoever. People act truly wild when interacting with employees they assume they'll never see again, and few know the depths of this depravity more than hotel workers and pizza delivery people.

In most customer service jobs, workers don't have to find out just how bonkers people act in the privacy of a hotel room, or their own home. But hotel workers and pizza delivery drivers have a special peek into the surprising and often NSFW practices of the most memorable customers.

A recent Reddit thread is full of stories from pizza delivery drivers and hotel employees detailing the scenes they wish they hadn't walked in on.

1. SuplexPanda declined their guest's desires.

A few years ago, the hotel I was working at had a few jacuzzi suits.

This man and woman check in and give a "trashy" vibe from the very beginning. We get through the check-in and everything is fine until a few hours later...

I get a call from the room. The man is clearly intoxicated and begins his rant about how his air conditioning isn't working.

I immediately roll my eyes and groan internally as 9/10 times people have a steaming hot bath and fail to realize that turning on the switch doesn't immediately create a winter wonderland.

This is where I been the general placating to resolve this as easy as possible.

"We don't have maintenance on hand at this time, however, I'd be happy to move you directly across the hall for the night.".

This isn't good enough.

"No! I want you to look at it! That's your job! Come look at it now!"

Well, technically he's right, however, he's drunk and calling someone an idiot when they're sober isn't the most fun experience to begin with.

So, I make my way to his room, knock on the door and he opens the door...

BAM! Blasted by the hot air immediately... who knew?

I immediately knew something wasn't right. The room was completely dark save a few flickering lights. My internal "NOPENOPENOPE" sensors were going off. And then I saw it...

More than a dozen tea lights flickering in the room, a drunk man wearing leopard print undies... I walk inside and make my way to the air-conditioner.

I didn't get too far before I am greeted by a woman on my right. She's friendly and polite... And completely naked on top of the bed.

I retain my professionalism, greeting her and making my way to the air-conditioner. Sure enough, it's working fine, it's warm in the room because of the jacuzzi.

I explain the situation to the man again:.

"Your air conditioning seems to be fine sir. All I can do at this point is move you across the hall."

After some general rambling, the man leans in towards me and whispers in my ear:

"Uh... The general is at half salute tonight... Can you have s*x with my wife for me?".

"While he's explaining this to me, he wife is finding a more comfortable position on the bed... Now legs and vagina spread wide. I politely decline his offer and apologize being the Canadian that I am and return to the front desk and never heard from him for the rest of the month.

The next night I came in I was presented with "How did we do?" card where the comment stated they were very happy with their stay although disappointed I didn't sleep with his wife."

2. Toshhba remembers the moment they decided to quit.

"I was a housekeeper, it was a gross job. I came across used condoms, s*x toys, poo, pee. The final straw came when someone had jacked off and left the load on top of the cover. I went to change the bed sheets and I put my hand right in it. It was a 0/10 definitely wouldn't recommend. I quit soon after."

3. scottevil110 delivered sustenance to an orgy.

"Pizza delivery for 7 years. Fewer than 10 times did I see any noteworthy degree of nudity. Usually women who'd answer the door in a towel or topless, but it wasn't the opening scene to porn that you're picturing."

"But ONCE, I delivered pizza to an orgy in progress. If that's not a 10, I don't know what is, except that I didn't join in."

4. Comicspedia finally met Ron.

"There was a guy who ordered the same way every week. "You know who this is, gimme the usual," and then hangs up. His name was Ron, and his usual was a large (14") sausage pizza "burned." Like there's well done, where we make the cheese a uniform brown, but he wanted it further than that. Not literally black dust, but REALLY dark all over. It was always delivery, and he tipped very well.

Our drivers were drivers and order takers only, they didn't work other positions. I worked the oven and would only go on deliveries if we were waayyy behind on orders.

One day in December I get the call from Ron, and I say "I know your address, but I've never been there, is it easy to find?" He replies "It's the one with two reindeer fuckin in the front yard."

"So I'm driving around these cookie cutter townhomes that all look the same, and sure enough, there's one with a decorative reindeer mounting another out front. I walk up to the door, this super-tan Italian guy in a purple robe and leopard print briefs (because his robe was wide open) answers the door, shouts at me "YOU MUST BE NEW! HERE YA GO" and throws a 20 at me (bill was $13, this was in 2001)."

"Only a 2/10 in terms of NSFW stuff, but man that was a memorable delivery. Seeing this man in person who I'd cooked pizza for every week for two years was like seeing a centaur or unicorn.

10/10 as a customer though. Predictable, direct, kept it quick, tipped well."

5. justaboyinaguysbody made a delivery to a woman mid finger blast.

"Used to do bicycle deliveries on the French quarter in New Orleans. Frequently made deliveries to strippers while they’re working. Sometimes you get a little behind the scenes view of the happenings between customers and strippers. Once handed food directly to a stripper while she was getting finger blasted and she proceeded to hand me a tip from her bosom as though nothing was happening."

6. sammayylmao does not miss their old job.

"Probably not what you came here to see but I used to work at the front desk of a crappy (no pun intended) hotel. One day the housekeepers found a room where the occupants had taken a steamy #2 in the tub and turned the heat up to 90 before checking out.

It was not safe to work in there."

7. Egodram hopes the man is okay now.

"I was a housekeeper at a hotel for a few years, I lived in an expensive city so rent was high but the pay covered the basics."

"One day my boss came up to my cart and warned me not to start cleaning a particular room until it was "clear." It's not unheard of for guests to request later check-outs or stay an extra day, but I've never heard someone talk about a cleaning delay in such terms before. Then after 10-ish minutes, a 30-something white male and a paramedic jog over to the room I was warned about."

"I didn't think it was my business to start prodding, but my first thought was "Oh f*ck, dead body." I've heard stories from other hotel staff, it's rare but it happens. This time, the situation was kinda sorta worse than that: Elderly Vietnam Vet rented a room with the sole intention of killing himself, called his son to say "goodbye," and son called for an ambulance. He had already taken a shit-ton of pills, but his body "rejected" them and he'd puked and sh*t all over the room."

"They escorted the elderly man out of the room, there were tears streaming down his cheeks and he wouldn't stop apologizing for the mess. It took 2 hours to clean what I could, we had to call a specialist service in to get the rest. I wasn't angry this time, it was one of the saddest things I'd ever seen: 8 out of 10."

8. turn_n_2 walked in on an unfamiliar tradition.

"I delivered room service at a nice hotel back in 89-90. One night I get a delivery for a bottle of high end scotch to the penthouse suite. Great sale as I get automatic 17% on all orders. So the door opens and I get invited in. There are about 20 young Japanese men in the room and they have one of the guys pinned down on the bed and are wailing away on his bare feet with a shoe. I see this and don't know whether to laugh on call security."

"They see the stunned look on my face and reassure me that this is a bachelor party tradition where they are from. Sounds reasonable to me, so I go about my way. On my way out several of the guys discreetly slid 10's and 20's into my hand as tips. After a couple more deliveries that night, I walked with over $250 from that room alone. 10-10 would recommend."

9. llamamama03 has too many stories to narrow down.

"I worked front desk for a small hotel in a small town that had 8 of those “fantasy suites,” where the rooms were designed to look like different things. Igloo, cave, casino, honeymoon suite, etc."

"There was so much NSFW stuff going on there that the housekeepers just told me to lie to myself when I was doing the laundry. Blood on the middle of the sheet? Clearly someone had a nosebleed. Unidentifiable stain? Had to be a food spill."

"It was the only way to get through the days. Thank goodness I never worked third shift. Those are the employees that dealt with the most NSFW stuff, mostly thanks to “noise” complaints."

10. Korvon got followed by crazed customers.

"Posted before, but fits...

Delivered pizza in Washington State back around 15 years ago and had several odd experiences. Most bizarre one I can remember I was delivering several pizzas to a house which came to a total of about $36. I walk up to the house knock on the door and a little kid answers the door. He hands me $40 takes the pizzas and closes the door. I stood there for a moment and just figured they were giving me the rest as a tip and the parents were too lazy to get off the couch."

"Im almost back at my car and I hear "HEY PIZZA GUY GET BACK HERE!" I turn around and see crazy looking blonde lady in the door in a towel. I walk back and she starts into a rant about how I was trying to steal money from her kid! I explain to her that I just thought they were giving me the money as a tip, and if that was an issue, they can have it back. I gave her the $4 back and after a bit more talking she ended up giving me $2 as a tip. Not that great, but better than having a pissed off customer. Thinking all was cool I headed back to the shop."

"When I get back at the shop, my friend who was managing the shop was on the phone looking a bit pissed. I walk in and he gets off the phone and explains that was the customer yelling at him about my behavior. I explain what happened, and we both figure they were crazy and continue on with the day."

"Fast forward 20 min, I have another order to take and I am putting more pizzas in my car. I go to leave but there is this big ass pickup truck in the way. I go to the driver and ask if they could move since I have pizzas to deliver. The driver responds "Why so you could rip more people off!!??" I look closer and in the passenger seat is the crazy lady now with crazy boyfriend driving."

"I go back into the shop and tell my buddy "Crazy people here to see us!" My friend being the hilarious guy he is, grabs paper and a pen, and walks outside very obviously writes down the guys license plate, and heads back inside. Then proceeds to call the cops."

"Shortly after that they take off, but tried to follow me most of the night, but found it hard in their oversized redneck truck and me in a little sporty pizza mobile.

TL;DR Dont deliver to Crazy. 4/10"

11. happycamal7 didn't get tipped by the kissing cousins.

"Pizza delivery to a residency, receipt says “deliver to set”. Now, I’ve been on a few student film sets before and I have a pretty good layman’s idea of the way things work, so I thought I’d ask what they were filming inside.

“It’s this movie about these two cousins who f*ck each other.”

They did not tip me."

12. tankerawsome's friend wasn't down.

"A friend of mine works at a hotel. This guy called the front desk asking if they could fix the heater, which is a very common request even though they are very easy to operate. She went up to his room and when she got there he had hand cuffed himself to the bed and was naked. Guess he was confident she would go for him cuz he didn't have the key. She left him there, with no key, but naked and didn't close the door all the way."

13. RampantRooster got a tip to remember.

"The most NSFW delivery I ever did was deliver to a couple in a hotel. The woman answered and paid wearing only panties and a tight-fitting t-shirt, and her chest was ginormous, then she tipped $10. Due to how close this hotel was to the shop, that's basically a 10/10 delivery."

14. amaezingjew wants people to put on clothes, please.

"I use to work in a hotel as the front desk supervisor."

Please don’t answer the door in a towel. Ask us to wait if you need to throw on some clothes real quick. I can’t tell you how many times I’d brought something up to a room, the person answered the door in a towel, and then accidentally dropped some or all of the towel reaching for whatever I’ve brought them.

Please...please put some clothes on...:

15. Inevitable_Professor wasn't into the women at the apartment complex.

"Was one of two maintenance men at an apartment complex. Thankfully, two older, trashy women preferred the other guy. They would wear old worn out lacy things every time he was scheduled to be in their unit for repairs. They were also borderline hoarders."

16. zackowea will never forget the man from Spain.

"I worked a few months at a 5 star hotel here in Chile back in 2016, since i speak English i worked as a receptionist and had to deal with a variety of guests from tourist to businessmen. A common thing to deal with was prostitutes who came to see business men (this hotel is near the costanera center building in santiago so we had businesses and other hotels around) Prostitution is illegal but we can't assume every girl or boy who comes asking for a specific room is a prostitute, however we can suspect and for that we used the internal "code Charlie" (we took their info and kept their id in the reception in case something happens)."

It was like my second month there when a man came from Spain and took one room with a king size bed and paid for three days"

"Not even an hour after he arrived a Charlie shows up 19 y/o girl blond and green eyes I took her info and id then she went on her way

About half an hour later another one shows up 21 y/o short and tan latina girl asking for the same room."

"One we can turn a blind eye and move on Two and we start to worry

Still i take info and id then on her way to her Spanish conquistador

We had to kick the guy out when one of my colleagues let in a third Charlie and didn't realize was for the same room."

"This time a 18 y/o thin and pale boy with a moonstone necklace

We got 5 noise complaints after the boy arrived amd according to the guards who went to kick him out the four of them were completely naked and caught a glimpse of the boy's gaping a*shole while the first girl snorted a line of cocaine."

"We had to call the cops and i had to give a statement to them as to why would we allow 3 people into his room

For months we kept talking about this incident with the maids who had to deal with the stains of this guys 3 hour stay"

17. Drakesward got tipped in a scary way.

"Worked at Domino's. A guy waved me into his apartment with a gun. Shut the door. Then he just tipped me and I left. As if it was the most casual thing in the world.

Maybe he was cleaning it or something when I knocked? Still weird."

18. shartnado3 wishes they'd had longer to gaze.

"I delivered pizza for 5 years. Seen a lot of boobs, people in the middle of having sex, drugs etc. The one that sticks out was a very attractive lady coming to the door, after her bf goes to get her, wearing the most see through lingerie I have ever seen. She might as well have been naked. It stands out because of how d*mn attractive she was, and how she just stood there for a long time letting me soak it all in. I think they got off on that stuff, and I am super pissed I got the order right and didn't forget anything, lol."

19. coltraneb33 will never forget the sh*t couple.

"The worst one for me was at a high end Inn. Couple was staying 2 nights, walked in to clean after the first night. Literal sh*t everywhere. Arm and leg restraints were on the bed, huge box of s*x toys beside the bed and in the jacuzzi tub, all sh*t covered. Sh*t on all the towels, sheets covered in sh*t, walls everything. I was 8 months pregnant, and noped out of there."

"As I was walking out to tell my supervisor I was not going to clean it they walked in and acted like there wasn't shit everywhere. Work conferences at that In always had one person who would take a dump in the middle of the bathroom floor."

20. spiderborland had an interesting training.

"I was being trained to do the night audit. The audit is a pretty dead shift with a LOT of downtime. We'd done the basics and now were just hanging out in the lobby. We're watching TV when my trainer points past me and says, "That dude's naked." Nope. Not turning around. Not even going to pretend to be interested. Nope."

"He gets up and rushes over to the front desk. I finally turn around and see a completely naked man. "How can I help you, sir?" "I f*cked up." "Yes it seems you did." He'd done the classic set something outside your door and it closes behind you, locking the naked person in the hallway."

Lizzo criticized for sharing picture of Postmates courier on Twitter and accusing her of theft.

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Strap in, folks, because this post is going to be FULL of corny Lizzo puns.

Truth Hurts, and publish shaming a service worker is not Good As Hell!

Lizzo, the effervescent singer who provided the soundtrack to your Hot Girl Summer, usually has great tweets, but she recently did a bad one.

Feeling hungry and angry—or "hangry," if you will—Lizzo accused a Postmates delivery woman of stealing her food, and blasted her name and face to her (almost) one million followers.

"She luck I don't fight no more," she wrote. Yikes yikes yikes (to the tune of the
"Ya-ya-ee" part of "Juice.")

Heaven Help Tiffany W.

Covered Tiffany's face as not to be a hypocrite.

Don't worry, Lizzo likely didn't go hungry. She slid into Postmates's DMs (oooo, their DMs!).

People on Twitter promptly called Lizzo out for putting poor Tiffany W. in danger, which is not a good look for America’s Next Bop Star.

People who deliver with Postmates tweeted to Lizzo that public shaming a service worker is not the answer, especially when you don't know the circumstances of her life and/or the alleged theft.

This communist even reported Lizzo to Twitter as an act of class warfare.

Lizzo deleted the tweet, and apologized. To her credit, she did not blame it on the juice.

While Tiffany W. might be in a safehouse somewhere, the episode has a happy ending because we got this line-for-line parody of "Truth Hurts."

Blame it on the juice.

22 people share the things they did to get back at phone scammers.

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Phone scams and unsolicited marketing calls are an epidemic and sometimes it seems like there's no way to escape them. We've all had a perfectly good Netflix binge interrupted by the sound of a ringing phone, frantically torn apart a messy room trying to find the phone, saw an unknown number, picked up anyway JUST IN CASE, only to be betrayed by the sound of a robot or a salesperson on the other end. I don't know about you, but I'm MAD AS HELL and not going to take it anymore going to have to continue taking it because I can't imagine a way to solve the problem.

But not anymore, because THERE IS HOPE!

According to a recent Reddit thread, people have fought back against scammers and marketing callers and WON. Here are 25 success stories full of tricks we can all use next time we get a call from an unknown number:

1.) From Flutternuffer:

Got a call from "the social security administration". I asked for the company's address and he paused and then said "New York, America".

2.) From Madcowspots:

Yeah. Got a call from the "duct cleaning" people. I told them I don't have ducts, I have geese... They just hung up on me and haven't bothered me since.

3.) From BirdShitPie:

I'm sure another scammer will call again since it's just an act that all of them do, but I got a social security scam call. They told me they had found 22 pounds of cocaine in a Toyota Camry with some blood in the front seat because they always say that exact line. I responded:

"Oh my god that's terrible!"

"So are you telling me that this was not you who left the car there?"

"No that was me but I had 30 pounds of cocaine in that car. Are you telling me that 8 pounds just went missing?"

So he was very confused and I was accusing him of stealing it, then he started swearing at me until he hung up.

4.) From Im_sorrywhat:

I took a call from the "I hear you've had an accident that wasn't your fault" call that I get about once a week. It's automated at first, but as soon as I said yes I got put through to someone. I spent 20 mins explaining how someone reared into my lane and crashed into me and it wasn't my fault, at the end when they asked me for details of the damage I explained that they bent the handlebars a bit but the bicycle was mostly OK. They hung up on me and I haven't back from them for about a month.

5.) From DrScottyBrown:

Told them that I was a member of their branch a floor above them and that they misdialed.

They said “Fuck you” and hung up. Didn’t get a call back from them for a few months.

6.) From SAEPUMA:

I asked them for THEIR social security and they hung up on ME. wack

7.) From venice7771:

I always hit the button to speak with a person or get more info, or sometimes they call with a live person to begin with. I put on my 'sexy' low voice and say 'hey baby, how you doin?'. They usually hang up immediately. If not my next response to whatever they say is 'that sounds really hot, what are you wearing?'.

Pretty close to 100% hang up and don't call back.

8.) From The--Dudest:

“Hello! Federal Bureau of Investigation, Telemarketing Fraud Department, how may I help you!”

click

9.) From SaigoBattosai:

I tried to troll a guy who was clearly calling people to get their bank account information by saying they were giving away money to help college students. He was from India and was dedicated to his job. I tried to piss him off for about 30 minutes but he kept interrupting me and I eventually told him to fuck off and hung up the phone. He kept cutting me off saying “But MY FRIEND...MY FRIEND!”

10.) From eres5:

I got a call, started reeling off this massive script. Finished probably after 2 minutes of solid talking, and I politely sat through the whole thing.

I paused and said "... Sorry?"

She said "again" and started the whole script again from the start.

Another 2 minute solid talk-wall later, I said "... Sorry?"

This time, there was a bit of frustration in her voice. "AGAIN" and once again did the whole 2 mins again, aggressively this time.

"... Sorry?"

"fuck this" and the call ended.

11.) From Denegroth:

Just play dumb and eat up their time.

They are playing a numbers game and don’t want to spend 30 minutes with some good that gives them nothing

In that 30 they would rather get shot down 20 times and maybe find that old lady they can trick

12.) From ShastaBeast87:

Answer the phone. Connect to an agent, mute your phone and carry on with what you were doing. They quickly take you off their diallers when you waste their agents time.

13.) From CarlSpencer:

The thing that gets them is wasting their time. They are getting paid to make calls so the longer you keep them on the better. One thing I like to do is start a rambling story that goes no where like Grampa Simpson does on 'The Simpsons'.

You know: "Survey? Yes, I've taken some surveys in my time, why, I even worked on one. Now I think it was in '06, or was it '07? No, it must have been '06 because that was the Winter I crashed my Buick. God I miss that old car! It was such a beautiful shade of green like the jungle, now, I've been to the jungle and BOY do they have mosquitoes..."

14.) From zerbey:

My friend speaks English, Spanish and Russian. He would just start switching randomly switching between languages and each language had a different personality. He would confuse them into total submission. They rarely called back.

15.) From CapnMcNutSac:

would receive a specific one 9 times out of 10, "Your car warranty is about to expire, press 1 if you'd like to be connected to a representative."

So I would oblige, wait for someone to come on the line and say "Make, Model and Year of your vehicle," which i usually followed up with "2013 HasBro ATV or 2017 Little Tikes Tricycle" or something of that nature. I must have become a famous caller because they only called maybe 6 times after I started doing that and they always started with "Oh look who it is." Eventually, it just stopped. I assume it's because they were tired of wasting their time on someone who was wasting their time.

16.) From lordsogybottom:

Got a call that there was a virus on my computer told them that was impossible as I throw my computer into the river so the cops couldn't get any evidence on me. Haven't heard from them since.

17.) From CarlSpencer:

The thing that gets them is wasting their time. They are getting paid to make calls so the longer you keep them on the better. One thing I like to do is start a rambling story that goes no where like Grampa Simpson does on 'The Simpsons'.

You know: "Survey? Yes, I've taken some surveys in my time, why, I even worked on one. Now I think it was in '06, or was it '07? No, it must have been '06 because that was the Winter I crashed my Buick. God I miss that old car! It was such a beautiful shade of green like the jungle, now, I've been to the jungle and BOY do they have mosquitoes..."

18.) From lordsogybottom:

Got a call that there was a virus on my computer told them that was impossible as I throw my computer into the river so the cops couldn't get any evidence on me. Haven't heard from them since.

19.) From TheMidget27:

Just ask them if they want to buy sex toys or something, just present yourself as a salesman of another company

20.) From KC5SDY:

About once or twice a week I would get the "Microsoft Support" phone call. For about 3 weeks, I would hang up on them. After about a month of this, I decided to jack with them. I let them give their line about how my computer is sending them error, blah, blah, blah, blah. I kept responding with, "interesting", "ok", "fascinating", etc. When they said that they wanted to connect to my computer, I told them that this would be difficult. They asked why, I told them that they called the server room for the Pentagon. I do not think I have ever heard anyone hang up quicker.

21.) From Paul-Mode:

The phone scam that puts you through to someone who says you have been in a accident no longer calls me because i just keep telling them an elephant ran out in front of my car and it was a hit and run didn’t get the plate.

22.) From Edsoft2013:

I get a call from a random pharmaceutical company saying that my supply if Viagra is ready for pick up. I told him that I had a complaint regarding the Viagra. I said that I only took half a pill and now only half of my pp was hard. Now my base is hard but the tip was soft and I was pissed. I kept going on this Viagra rant for about a minute or so and then they hang up. Happened twice and my friends are still laughing.

23.) From City-slicker:

I used to get a lot of unsolicited calls from a company who could 'sort my debt'

I got a call from them one day, when I wasn't doing much at home so decided to have some fun. I gave a false name, false address (which they couldn't find on their system - I convinced them it was a new build eventually).

I then went through my 'debts' meticulously, had them waiting while I 'found the paperwork' etc. Some of the 'debts' were for my sex change, and then reverting back because I changed my mind.

30 - 40 minutes later and I had over £300k debt, and able to pay up to £4,000 per month to clear it with them.

The woman on the phone got her boss (because it was such a big contract), and when the boss lady got on the phone, I told her I made it all up.

I kid you not, she told me I was wasting their time! And that I shouldn't do that - then hung up on me.

Never heard from them again.

Survivors of gun violence criticize menswear brand over school shooting-themed hoodies

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Somebody, somewhere, thought this was a good idea.

Bstroy is a brand that pretentiously describes itself as a "Neo-Native Menswear Design House," and that's not the worst thing about them. The worst thing about them is that they debuted a line of school shooting-themed sweatshirts, complete with names of the sites of massacres and fake bullet holes to drive the point home.

Models strutted down the runway representing Columbine, Sandy Hook, and Stoneman Douglas, where a combined 56 people were murdered in cold blood.

The family of Vicki Soto, a teacher who was murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary School, commented that the sweatshirt is "absolutely disgusting, hurtful, wrong, and disrespectful," articulating that "our pain is not to be used for your fashion."

A survivor of the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida wrote, "to make money off of something pathetic like this is disgusting...there's so much trauma with [not] only myself but with thousands of other people who have experienced gun violence."

March For Our Lives, the movement build by survivors of the massacre, condemned the sweatshirts on Twitter.

Taken at face value, these "fashion statements" are absolutely abysmal, and if you think about it for three seconds, they're even worse.

Hoodies with bullet holes can't help but conjure the image of Trayvon Martin, the young black boy killed on the street by George Zimmerman, who was scared of his hoodie. After the tragedy, hoodies became a symbol of the Black Lives Matter movement, and adding bullet holes to them for fashion purposes is pretty f**ked up.

Not only has the line been condemned by people affected by gun violence, it's not a hit with fashion insiders either, and that's got to hurt.

"Putting bullet holes in school sweaters isn't shining light on an issue," fashion consultant @bibbygregory tweeted. "It's being provocative for the sake of being provocative. And that's not very provocative. It's not artistic. It lacks refinement. It lacks intelligence. It lacks design skill. It is lazy at best."

Bstroy has yet to release a statement, but there's no doubt it's going to be something like "we just wanted to raise awareness of gun violence!"

With multiple mass shootings a month, I'm pretty sure that Americans are well aware of mass shootings.

25 Memes That Will Only Be Funny If You're Married.

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“Marriages are like fingerprints; each one is different and each one is beautiful.”

– Maggie Reyes

Every marriage is different, but one thing all married people can agree on are these hilarious memes. If you've ever been married you will relate hard to this list. The struggle is real, people.

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Woman asks if it was wrong to kick out friend for calling her pregnant belly 'creepy and gross.'

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When you really think about it, pregnancy is weird as hell. As majestic as the miracle of birth is, growing an embryo for months until it turns into a chubby human swimming in amniotic fluid is truly wild to think about.

All women face a lot of inappropriate speculation about their bodies, but pregnant women deal with an extra creepy sub-section of people who want to rub their stomachs in public AND body shame them for not losing weight 10 hours after birth.

All this is to say, we live in a world where pregnancy is viewed through a culty lens of worship and also disdain, depending on who you talk to. And being a pregnant woman is exhausting enough without all of the outside input.

In a recent post on the Am I The A*shole subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for kicking out her best friend after her called her baby belly gross.

"AITA for kicking my best friend out and telling him to grow up after he called my baby belly gross and weird?"

"I’ve known James since we were 11. He’s been my best friend for a long time and we’re so close people ask us all the time if we are siblings because we look alike AND even share a last name. He lives close by and is very much integrated into all parts of my life."

OP kicked off the post by sharing that she's known her friend James since childhood, and they've been best friends for most of that time.

"I had a crush on him growing up and I asked him out a couple times when we got a little older. He always declined and said we were just best friends. He’s really goofy with me, and treats me like I’m his little sister and over time I came to agree with him. we are 27 now and still the best of friends. My parents treat him like a son and honestly, he’s family."

A few months back, OP found out she was pregnant and was over the moon.

Because of her PCOS, she didn't think it would be possible for her.

"A couple months ago I had a ONS and found out I was pregnant. Being as I have PCOS I am OVER THE MOON because I was always told that the chance of me conceiving were very low. I am keeping this gorgeous miracle baby and I cant explain how many tears of relief I shed. I’ve always wanted to be a mom and finally I have a chance at this. I have my own home, have savings, I’m in the right place in life and I’m so happy."

When James found out about OP's pregnancy, he was naturally happy for her.

However, OP soon realized he was avoiding hanging out with her while pregnant.

"When James found out he was also over the moon. He thought it was the coolest thing ever but then gradually dropped off the face of the planet and he never wanted to hang out anymore. Won’t go to the gym with me, is too busy for the cinema, doesn’t feel like going to the mall, can’t come with me to visit mutual friends, nada."

During a recent dinner, OP confronted him about his avoidance and he revealed that he finds her growing baby bump "disturbing and a little gross."

"My mom and dad invite him over every so often for dinner and so at the most recent one I cornered him and asked why he was avoiding me so much and if he had an issue. He confessed that he finds my growing baby bump disturbing and a little gross. He said ‘I know it’s really weird of me but it just creeps me out."

OP immediately felt upset, and told James to immediately get out.

He apologized, and now OP is unsure of how to mend their friendship.

"I found that so demeaning and hurtful, and I burst out crying and called him an immature a*shole and told him to GTFO. He apologized and left and I haven’t heard from him since. I’m so upset that he’s ruining a lifelong friendship over my goddamn baby bump! I want to reach out but I just feel so .... alienated from my own body and made to feel gross and I’m not sure if I’m the one that’s being difficult or if it’s him."

Furk thinks everyone's feelings are completely valid in this situation.

"NAH - This one is really tough. I don't think it's wrong for you to feel hurt by his comment, but I also don't think it's wrong of him to express how he felt. He clearly attempted to share your joy when he learned about it, so it's not vindictive or anything. It could be a maturity thing, but it might not be."

SerenadingSiren thinks James might have tokophobia.

"Yeah. I've got tokophobia and my coworker was offended when I didn't want to rub her belly, I didn't know how to explain that pregnancy bumps are very similar to me as spiders are to many people. I've worked hard on being able to deal with it on my own but part of that is avoiding what I can. I can't help working with and seeing pregnant people, but I temporarily unfollow social media of people who post pregnancy pictures (like bare belly) and don't rub their belly or what not."

"I ended up just saying "sorry, I'm uncomfortable with that" and she rolled her eyes at me.

Of course, it hurts OP, and he could've said it nicer, but overall it's a hard situation to be in"

FeistyThrowAway2 thinks that James was in the wrong.

"He ghosted her instead of telling her he was uncomfortable. Quietly avoiding a situation/conflict while knowing you could be hurting someone’s feelings is asshole behavior."

fearthepib thinks James is in love with OP.

"IMO this isn't about a baby bump. This is about your friend realizing he's in love with you. After you got pregnant with someone elses child.

Edit: Stop giving me gold stars and spend your money on something meaningful. I appreciate ya'll but damn people is hungry out there."

Rivka333 thinks James was wrong to avoid her and not explain why.

"NTA

Everyone's focusing on his comment; they're forgetting that it's not just that but the fact that he'd been deliberately avoiding you (because of your belly)."

"Feeling weirded out by a belly? Not too strange. Avoiding your close friend because of it? Not normal."

Unlike many of the posts that feel more cut and dry, this situation has thoroughly divided the internet


25 Memes To Help You Start Your Morning Off With A Chuckle.

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"Life is funny. If you don't laugh, you're in trouble."

-Taylor Hawkins

If you don't laugh at life, what's the point? These memes will crack you up and help you start your day off on the right foot.

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Reporter gets memed for saying on air that dead man was unavailable for comment.

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Dead men tell no tales.

Not only is that the name of the fifth Pirates of the Carribean movie, it's also a lesson that a reporter recently learned when they were exploring the consequences of a car crash.

Journalist Sara Welch was on the scene in Anaheim, California when she had an unfortunate slip of the tongue, and the show was live, unlike the car crash victim.

Welch said:

We tried to reach out to the man who died in this pursuit, they were unavailable for comment.

I, for one, think that it's impressive that the reporter wanted to take the extra mile in hosting a séance and summoning a spirit to explain their perspective on a fatal accident.

People mourned what could have been the local station's life-changing scoop, had she been able to contact the undead.

The video is seven seconds long, but provides at least seventy seconds of satisfaction.

Wedding guest complains about bride demanding she do her hair and makeup to avoid paying $350.

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Weddings are expensive. And you can't blame someone for trying to cut corners and save on expenses, but you can definitely blame them for trying to get their friend to work for them for free and then being rude about it when they refuse.

A woman shared screenshots on the Reddit of a conversation she had with a bride friend of hers who tried to get her to do her hair and makeup for free in order to avoid paying a professional $350.

$350 is a lot of money, sure. But the way this bride went about asking her friend comes across as entitled and rude.

"Hey! I have a question for you," says the bride. She continues "So it's going to be $350 for my hair and makeup and I really don't want to pay that since I'm really only wanting my hair done and I don't wear too much makeup."

Her friend agrees to do her hair but is reluctant about the makeup, saying she's "not that great at doing makeup on others." Her friend persists, saying "can you just do something simple?"

Then she shares a photo of the look she wants, and it makes Kylie Jenner's makeup seem subtle. This is far from "simple."

Her friend responds, good-naturedly "oh that is not simple haha," adding "that is going to take a lot of blending and I cannot do wings on other people." She even kindly offers to do the friend's face makeup if she buys her own foundation.

But bridezilla continues to demand that her friend give her the makeup look she wants, with her makeup, saying "you always do wings though? And you can't use your foundation on me?"

Her friend, who deserves an award for her patience, again offers to help her friend "pick out a good foundation" at Sephora. But the bride responds "so you can't do my makeup?" and then tries to butter her up, saying "I really thought you'd be able to help since your makeup always looks so good....."

In the most polite and generous way possible, the friend explains "you're probably better off just hiring a makeup artist since that's the look you want" and STILL she offered to do her hair for free.

Bridezilla's entitled response? "Whatever. Guess I'm gonna be stuck paying $350."

Commenters are commending the woman on her patience and calling out the bridezilla for her entitled behavior.

Laja21 writes:

You're so patient and doing your best to be helpful... I can't stand people who don't take no for an answer and then try to guilt trip you into magically fulfilling all of their needs!

I have a feeling that if you did her makeup and it wasn't absolutely perfect, she'd throw a tantrum.

While many pointed out that the biggest problem is the bride claiming she wants "light" makeup when really she wanted to look like a Kardashian.

idk-issy says:

She said she wants light makeup and chooses that look.

And Ohmalley-thealliecat writes:

My girl wants a full contoured look, three shade eyeshadow, winged eyeliner, falsies, brows and a nude lip and says it’s just simple

The moral of the story: brides, if you want your friends to work for free, at least be nice about it. Because Reddit is always hungry for a bridezilla to shame, and they WILL come for you.

Pro-vaccine activist responds to anti-vaxers using his photo as someone 'killed by vaccines.'

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On September 11th, anti-vaxxers gathered in Sacramento to hold a vigil for all of the people allegedly killed by vaccines.

However, at least one of the photos they displayed at the vigil was quickly called out for being a stock photo.

In fact, the pro-vaccine activist Ethan Lindenberger spotted a photo of himself in the corner, which was deeply surprising since he is very much alive, and very much believes in medicine.

Earlier this year, Lindenberger went viral after he testified before the Senate Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee about his personal decision to get himself vaccinated despite growing up in an anti-vaxx home.

Rather than solely placing the blame on his mother, who Lindenberger believed was truly doing what she thought was best, he called out the social media companies and social media websites profiting off misinformation.

Given Lindenberger's role as an outspoken pro-vaccine activist, the use of his photo at the vigil for people "killed" by vaccines feels extra wild.

People were quick to point out how sloppy it was to include stock photos and photos of public figures in the vigil.

After Lindenberger's tweet went viral, anti-vaxxers started cropping the photo to cut out his picture.

However, even the cropped version still included a stock photo.

A lot of the comments on Lindenberger's thread jokingly grieved him.

Of course, it's entirely possible the inclusion of Lindenberger's photo was a pointed commentary on the loss of his soul, and how he is now dead to the anti-vaxx community.

Luckily, Lindenberger is very much alive and well, actively fighting the spread of conspiracy theories. Unluckily, so is the misinformation fueling the anti-vaxx movement.

16 memes for anyone who saw 'Hustlers.'

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The movie Hustlers came out on September 13th and it's everything you dreamed it would be. A true crime story? Check. A celebration of female friendship starring soon-to-be-Oscar-nominee Jennifer Lopez and also-wonderful-but-in-a-less-flashy-role Constance Wu? Check. A group number set to Usher's timeless "Love In This Club"? Check check check.

The movie is an absolute blast, and I'll I've wanted to do since seeing it is crawl into J.Lo's fur, but until that fateful day we meet on the roof, enjoying these memes will have to do.

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