"Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up. "
-Evelyn Hendrickson
Marriage is hard, but it also has its humorous moments. Every husband or wife will be able to relate to these hilarious memes that perfectly illustrate the highs and lows of married life.
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There is never a good time to be in a car accident, but an especially bad time to be in a car accident is when you're covered in fake blood.
Sidney Wolfe, a college student at Marshall University in West Virginia, was in costume promoting a production of "Carrie: The Musical" when she totaled her car when a deer ran in front of it.
Wolfe wrote that the first responders who came to the scene saw the fake blood and assumed she was dead. "The first responders saw my blood and freaked," she explained.
Everyone is asking for the backstory so here it goes. I was promoting Carrie the Musical at a haunted house. At the end of the night, I was too tired to shower and remove my makeup so when i wrecked the first responders saw my blood and freaked. pic.twitter.com/RksJVMv4uX
— Sidney (@SidwWolfe) October 29, 2019
The accidental prank went viral, and Wolfe has been declared the queen of Halloween.
It's okay to laugh, because she wasn't hurt—it only looks like she was.
Only a slight bruise on my leg. I’m very lucky!!!! It’s just funny because I looked terrible. God was looking out for me.
— Sidney (@SidwWolfe) October 28, 2019
If you happen to be in the Ashland, Kentucky area, go see Carrie The Musical at the Paramount Arts Center. As Wolfe joked, "I risked my life to promote this musical. Y’all better buy tickets!!!!!"
You need thick skin to be a teacher—and a sharp tongue doesn't hurt either. One of the hardest things about the notoriously difficult profession is dealing with wisecracking students—because kids and teens can be absolutely savage with their words. But the best teachers come prepared with comebacks of their own. Nothing shuts down a rude student like playing them at their own game.
1.) From Divinixm:
The other day another teacher came into our class who has a bald head and he just got it waxed or something and my mate says "Fresh polish sir?" and the teacher fires back with "Anything for your mother mate." Class went ape shit
2.) From TraximusW:
Teacher (my mother): Please sit down, the lesson has started
Student: You can't tell me that, I'm not a dog
Teacher: I know you're not a dog, because a dog is able to do that simple command
she is still proud about that one and tells it at family gatherings
3.) From AnnieBannieFoFannie:
I had a really fun teacher everyone liked, and when students were talking about their various weekend exploits, he'd stare at them and then go "Has anyone ever told you that you're an idiot? I'm not.calling you one, but has anyone ever told you that?"
4.) From mooroi:
My maths teacher in secondary school, stuck my middle finger up at her - "only one finger for a woman my age?" My 15 year old self was mortified. You won that battle Ms Walcott.
5.) From Digger-of-Tunnels:
I didn't intend it as a roast, but I got a long serious look and a pause when I told a student, "You're smart enough to be President, but with your manners, you're going to get fired from McDonalds instead."
6.) From Bsnman14:
After announcing the upcoming quiz for the umpteenth time....
Student: Wait! What? You can't spring a test on us with one day notice!
Me: I've been announcing it daily for two weeks.
Student: I never heard it.
Me: It's ok. I only wake you up for the really important announcements.
Class roared.
7.) From zoolak:
3rd grade.
Class trouble maker is galloping around the classroom pretending to be a horse. Teacher is continually telling him to go to his seat.
He finally starts to gallop to his chair when the teacher walks up, takes his chair, looks at him and says
“horses don’t sit”
Made him stand the entire rest of the class.
I think about that moment a lot. One of my favorite grade school memories.
8.) From AlanMercer:
Wiseass: So, Mr. Smith, are you married?
Mr. Smith: Is this a proposal? It's so unexpected.
9.) From 1014187912:
"if you spent even 1/4 of the time you dedicate to smoking weed and partying on the weekends to my class, this wouldn't be the third time you're taking it." -my high school algebra teacher.
10.) From beccatz:
Not to a specific person but my AP Lit teacher was explaining how grades are final when it gets close to the end of the year:
"When a student comes in with a sob story, expecting me to change their grade, I'll give them a tissue and say: There there, there there, there there's the door."
11.) From The_Raghav_Agarwal:
While explaining how reproduction works, one of my students was making gnarly comments so i said "Dont worry, you wont be getting any.."
12.) From SuckySucky3fiddy:
I'm not a teacher, but this is a legendary one that I've heard. The kids are in a math class, and one kid just raises his hand and "when am I ever going to use this in real life?". The teacher says "you won't, but the smart kids will".
13.) From Mooshan:
Not a teacher, but was there to hear the roasting.
I had an amazing biology teacher in high school. Everyone loves him in the community, and he was a teacher and coach for over 50 years. Lots of great stories about the man.
My bio teacher would often whip out this amazingly booming voice, for whatever reason. To wake us up, emphasize a point, to ask the neighboring classroom to turn up the heating THROUGH THE WALL, and of course to roast fools.
Anyway, one day in the early 2000s, I'm in my bio class along with this other guy. We'll call him Chad. Chad was popular, a jock, but kind of a douche, so it wasn't uncommon for teachers to mess with him in particular. And on this day, he decided to text in class, holding his cell phone in his lap. My teacher obviously notices this, and switches to his giant non-inside voice: "CHAD! YOU ARE EITHER PLAYING WITH YOUR PENIS, OR TEXTING ON YOUR PHONE. I DON'T SEE A MAGNIFYING GLASS, SO IT MUST BE YOUR PHONE. EITHER WAY, PUT IT AWAY."
14.) From thefisforfinance:
Student sitting with three friends: 1 in 4 people in [town the school is in] have an STD. (Pointing to friends) One... Two.. Three... Four. As he said four he pointed to himself and smiled like an idiot, as if to say he had sex.
Disregarding the nastiness of implying that he had himself an STD, I said: [student name], you don't need to worry about it. You can't catch anything from your hand.
15.) From Daisy242424:
I had a kid picking on the religious girl in class, asking her all sorts of tricky theological questions just so he could catch her out or something. When he asked "Does hell exist?" I said "Yes, it does. It's here, in the classroom, with you."
16.) From brevityandlevity:
One of my students has been calling people losers lately. While in group work he called another girl a loser while holding an L up to his forehead.
I told him in front of the group that he had the L turned backwards so technically he's just played himself.
It was a real life "watchpeopledieinside" moment as they laughed at him.
17.) From IluvKai420:
A kid was very loudly talking about smoking weed at school and the teacher threw a bag of chips at him and told him to shut up.
18.) From The-Potato-Lover:
So, this kid has a computer, and people were looking at it and laughing
Teacher: what’s on your computer dude?
Kid: it’s nothing, these neanderthals are looking at my work (the kid always called the other kids less intelligent then him)
Teacher: so that’s why their laughing
The class practically exploded with laughter
19.) From Back2Bach:
The wiseass in our class sassed the teacher back and always had to have "the last word."
Finally, in telling the student to shut up, the teacher said:
"Why don't you freeze your teeth and give your tongue a sleigh ride."
20.) From MHeraclea:
One of my science teachers in highschool was a serial killer when it came to shutting students up ( I thought it was hilarious). Among other things, one day the typical guy at the front making lame jokes at the teacher's expense was being super annoying, and my teacher said 'Hey X. See the tree outside? Go hug that tree. And come back only after writing a good song about that tree.' So yeah the dude came back later on with a song he had to sing in front of the class
21.) From mbern14:
My favorite HS teacher's story. She was fresh out if college in the 1970s. She was a short white woman full of naivety and optimism. Her first job was in the inner city with a predominant black population.
First day of class she hears laughing. Turns around and the biggest guy in class has his pants down and his genitals out. She turned around and said "Pull your pants up and sit down. I've seen bigger." Kid was embarrassed and sat down.
After class she told him to come up and see her. This was an older kid in HS. She gave him a box of crayons and said, "Next time you feel like doing that, draw a picture instead."
At that point until she retired, all if the "bad" kids were sent to her and she managed to figure out a way to get through them.
22.) From brkh47:
Not a comeback, but our high school Physics teacher told the wiseass, “If your brain was made of leather, there wouldn’t be enough to make sandals for a canary.”
Think of the dumbest thing you've seen an anti-vaxxer do online and multiply it by a thousand. That'll be almost as cringey as this post that's making the rounds on Reddit.
According to the post, a woman painted red measles dots all over her body to go as "measles" for Halloween. She allegedly captioned the photo, "Was trying to think of the least scary thing I could be for Halloween...so I became the measles."
Another Facebook user commented underneath, which you can read above, to eviscerate the woman for pushing anti-vax propaganda. She also allegedly posted an apology backed by anti-vax science, saying she's sorry her costume "wasn't Christlike":
I'm sorry for posting the measles costume, it wasn't Christ like. It wasn't meant to be a jab at babies who died from the measles. Literally at all. Every single baby's life matters. So the post really did not reflect my heart.
She goes on to try and prove that it's okay to welcome measles into your life with open arms because strep throat kills more people per year... apparently failing to realize that the reason measles isn't deadly is because so many people are vaccinated against it.
The costume is going viral on Reddit, and people are shocked. As meetMayra says, many of us might not have realized that anti-vaxxers believe that diseases like measles don't actually pose a threat:
So, this presents a different aspect for me. I always thought anti-vaxxers laid on the premise that theres no reason to get vaccinated because they are "bad" and the chances of getting one of the diseases is so low, that they'll chance their child getting sick. I never thought that they actually believe that these aren't actually deadly diseases that kill children. Wtf? I'm baffled. Like how? Good lort. I cant.
And Dr_Ulzy pointed out she might need treatment herself after the response she got on Facebook:
She needs to see a homeopathic treatment practitioner after that burn.
UriahHeep1 pointed out it's pretty easy to not fear measles when you, yourself, were vaccinated back before the anti-vax thing blew up:
Love how all these antivaxxers are themselves vaccinated.
And DNY88 asked the biggest question of all:
Besides her stupidity in the manner, why would you try to think "of the least scary thing" to be for Halloween? It's Halloween, you're supposed to be scary.
A giant fail on all fronts.
When you get into cooking, you start to develop preferences and tastes pretty quick.
A Reddit user asked the people of the internet: what are your biggest cooking no-no's? Home chefs sounded off with their biggest kitchen dealbreakers and nightmares.
Glass cutting boards. Like seriously, just GTFO.
And in a similar vein, dangerously dull knives. I’ve seen some real bludgeons in other people’s kitchens; no wonder they hate prep work. - BattleHall
Don't let your baking powder get clumpy. Tiny rocks of baking powder ruin anything you bake. - Dzastrus
For the love of god stop mucking about with whatever it is you're cooking. Unless it's something you specifically need to be mixing or stirring constantly, leave it alone! You'll never get proper color on things if they make more contact with your spatula than your pan. - SorrySeptember
Incorrectly storing ingredients - seriously, you can get ill if you let raw chichken juice drip on your salad in the fridge. Then, cut meat and veg on separate boards. - symes
Always wear pants while cooking bacon. - tjipa84
don't cut meat immediately after cooking it, more juices will flow out, the meat will become drier. Wait a few minutes - atavaxagn
Learned this the hard way: don't throw fresh chili peppers into a hot pan unless you want to pepper spray the whole house! - sriracha_everything
There is a YouTube channel called Sam the Cooking Guy and he taught me about using avocado oil rather than olive oil. Olive oil (and vegetable oil and others) have a lower smoke point and can impart flavor into the food, when you may not want it. Avocado oil is "neutral" (adds no flavor) and has a higher smoke point allowing you to (for example) sear meat more easily. - UniqueConstraint
not seasoning your chicken - Prazzic
Do not mix hot cooking oil and cool sink water! I saw a girl burn the hell out of herself because she didn't listen to the Home Ec. teacher. She threw her hot oil in a sink with some cool water running. Boom! Sprayed hot oil all over her arm and neck. Let your oil cool folks. - XxVerdantFlamesxX
a big problem is the variability in a recipe when it says "cook on medium-high" with no reference to the type of range. It could be shitty electric coil range that takes 15mins to carmelize brown onions, or my aunts gas stove could do it in like 5 because the "low" setting is basically med-high on other stoves.
Basically temperature is so ambiguous unless you plan on probing every thirty seconds or something ridiculous. If you coook enough you can go off of intuition, taste, smell and look without really having to know the exact time or temperature. - MrHoneyCrisp
Pasta should never, ever be rinsed for a warm dish. The starch in the water is what helps the sauce adhere to your pasta. The only time you should ever rinse your pasta is when you are going to use it in a cold dish like a pasta salad or when you are not going to use it immediately
Everything else I read here seemed like common sense... But I guess I've been doing pasta wrong my whole life! - HoboBeered
Coming anywhere near my non-stick pan with metal. If you scratch my pan I will scratch your soul. - o0oO0o0Oo00oOoo00i
Baking is science.
Cooking is art. - 32MB-Lamb
"Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious."
-William Feather
Early morning cheerfulness, I simply do not understand. I need mass amounts of caffeine and a good laugh to get my day started. These memes will put a smile on your face and brighten your mood as you get ready to face the day ahead.
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Working under a petty and vindictive manager can make an otherwise doable job insufferable. Sadly, there are a lot of workplaces that don't give employees proper medical leave regardless of how dire the situation is, and the final judgment call is left to the manager.
If you work in food service, there is little if any grace given for missing a shift without a replacement, which is extra scary when you consider how many sick people are forced to work with food. In theory, seniority and loyalty from a worker (as well as their basic humanity) would prompt a restaurant to hold an employee's job while they sort out a medical emergency, but it often doesn't go down this way.
Terminated me while on medical leave, put them on permanent leave.
The new manager was a power-hungry jerk who wielded their authority in frustrating ways.
So first, your typical backstory. I was an employee at a well-known breakfast chain, particularly popular for their wide selection of pancakes, for nearly three years. I was decently well-liked among the employees, and had a very good friend who had just been promoted to a shift manager by the former general manager, who was a really great guy that unfortunately got transferred to a different store against his wishes. He was replaced by a horrible, power-hungry shift manager that no one cared for.
They worked between 8-18 hours per day, and never complained.
So a typical work week for me was six days a week, between 60-70 hours a week, with Tuesdays being my only day off. My shifts ranged from eight hours to as much as an 18 hour double-shift (important later). I worked this schedule without complaint for years of my life. Unfortunately on September 10th, I fell very ill while at work with no known cause. This was accompanied by very severe, stabbing pain in my lower right abdomen.
Their manager threatened to fire them if they missed their morning shift or didn't secure an immediate replacement, despite the fact that OP was mid ER visit.
I called the general manager (it was about 12am at this point) and informed her I planned on leaving to go to the ER, to which she told me if I left, then I would be fired. Now at the time, I really needed this job, so not wanting to be fired, I decided to work through my shift. I had two hours remaining, but it was hell to work through. Finally, 2am rolled around and I immediately left to drive to the hospital. Upon arrival, I was admitted almost immediately into the hospital due to scan results showing an inflamed appendix. I called the general manager, and let her know that I was being admitted to the hospital, and would keep her updated.
At this point it was 330 in the morning, and OP's shift was at 8. The manager expressed no empathy, and told OP they'd be fired for being in the ER.
Her response? "If you're going to try to get out of work, can you at least find someone to cover your shift in the morning? Some people...", note at this point, it was around 3:30am, my next shift that she wanted me to cover, was at 8am the next morning. A few hours later, I was notified that I needed an appendectomy, and it would be scheduled for the following morning. I agreed, signed the release, and called up my manager to notify her. I told her that I would be out of work for at least a few days, but after surgery I'd let her know.
It is important to know that I kept her informed throughout my entire absence. I even sent her a picture of myself laying in a hospital bed after multiple accusations of faking (I still have the texts if anyone is interested.) So surgery went smoothly, however they found that I had a gangrene infection in my appendix that appeared to have spread. Due to complications involving this, my hospital stay ended up being two full weeks.
When they were discharged they immediately drove to work to further prove the validity of their medical leave, and ask to return.
I was discharged at noon, and drove to work almost immediately after discharge to inform them I was out of the hospital and cleared to come back, as well as turn in the hospital note, proving I was there. To my surprise, the regional manager is there. I walk in and find both the regional and the general manager at the front counter having a conversation. I slide the note towards them on the desk, and inform them that I was cleared to come back to work. The general manager looked at me in utter disbelief. "Excuse me? You've already been terminated for no-call-no-showing for two weeks." I reminded her that I did, in fact, keep her informed, and had proof.
She cut me off, and with an annoyed tone, said that she'd give me another chance. I came back in that night for my shift, luckily working with my friend the shift-manager. I was also training a guy I had never seen before (not uncommon, as I was a floor supervisor/trainer.) My friend later called me into the office, and that's when I learned that I was only rehired so that I couldn't file a wrongful-termination suit, and said that the person I was currently training was my replacement. The general manager had plans to fire me the next morning. As shocked as I was, we immediately hatched a plan.
However, OP quickly found out from a friend that they were training a replacement, and the final shift was a tactic so OP couldn't file a wrongful termination suit.
So this restaurant was dirty. Huge roaches infesting the kitchen and dining room, black mold, rotten food mixed with fresh food, water leaks so bad the carpet in the dining room is literally decaying, you name it. We have reported these issues to the general manager multiple times, but nothing ever happened. My friend sent the trainee home, with the excuse that our labor was too high, and I spent the remainder of my shift taking pictures of every continuous health-code violation I seen.
I went as far as cooking orders, just so I could get pictures of the grills and kitchen areas without suspicion from other employees. Finally, the next morning rolled around. I woke up to a call from the general manager. Sure enough, she demanded that I turned my uniform in because I was being terminated immediately. I drove up there and asked for the reason behind my termination, and she replied that I was a "lazy worker who always complained that they had hours." Please remember, I averaged about 64 hours a week, and never complained. Not in the mood to argue, I simply turned in my uniform, and left. But that's not the end of my plan.
I was one of the only food-safety permitted employees. I had just renewed my permit, so all of the information in the class was fresh on my mind. I also distinctly remember the health inspector teaching the class stated that if we wanted to report our workplace, just come in, ask for him, and bring evidence. I went straight to the health department, asked to speak with him, and supplied seven written paragraphs of every violation, as well as all of the pictures I had taken to back my claim up. He informed me that with the picture evidence, it would be hard for the restaurant to fight. He also informed me he would follow up with a surprise inspection the next morning. The next morning, I woke up, and found messages from my general manager, calling me a "snitch" and a "greiner (whiner)".
Luckily, my friend recorded the entire inspection from the office. Due to how recent this story is, I will not be releasing it due to it showing faces as well as names being mentioned, but it was beautiful, and it showed who the true "whiner" was in this situation. The regional manager was slapped with a hefty $7,000 fine for allowing unpermitted employees to work, and the restaurant was ordered to shut down operations to clean, however, being a barely-profitable franchise, the franchisee (who owned many other locations) closed it down and ran off.
Now as much as I want to feel bad for the people left without work, I don't, and for the decent employees, the story actually has somewhat of a happy ending, as many have moved on to better things.
If you'd like any of the pictures I used for proof, let me know, as I still have all of them.
(TL;DR: My manager terminated me while on medical leave, so we reported the location to the health department, resulting in it’s closure.)
In order to bolster their story, OP posted several different photos to go along with the story, including dirty tables, busted ceilings, toxic adhesive on a drinking water line, and good old fashioned mold.
In an ideal world, OP would never be driven to these lengths because their workplace wouldn't fire them for having a gangrene infection, but in this flawed capitalist hellscape sometimes revenge is the closest to justice we get.
Most of the time, when people post on Reddit's "Am I The A**hole?" forum, it's to get validation from strangers that they are not in fact a douchebag and the circumstances have forced them to act that way. That's why it's so exciting to see a post from a bonafide man baby making the rounds on both Reddit and Twitter, and it will make you feel like a capable, mature adult.
AwayPerformer posted "[Am I The A**hole] for asking a neighbor if she wanted to share food?" and it reads like a Kevin James sitcom:
I'm a 31 year old single guy who lives alone in an apartment complex. I've lived there for 6 years. My neighbor across the hall, a woman around my age or a little younger (I actually don't know her first name but I'll call her Katie) lives across the hall from me diagonally and has for about 2 years. We exchange hellos but aren't friendly, which is how it is with most of my neighbors.
So I don't know how to cook, and due to losing one of my part time gigs, I don't have as much money for takeout anymore. I'm getting really sick of eating cheap fast food or box mac and cheese. I'm gaining weight and I never feel great.
Okay, he seems sort of sympathetic so far. Losing a job is tough. Here's where things take a sharp turn into A-holeville:
This is where Katie comes in. I can always smell her cooking in the hall and it always smells amazing (I know it isn't the other person at our end of our hall cause it's a single old man). I've even complimented it a few times. So I got the idea that I'd offer to give her some money each week to cook a little extra and bring it over to me (or I can pick it up from her!) at night. She's cooking anyway and then I'd have varied presumably delicious food.
I asked her the next time I saw her and she looked surprised and said she couldn't because she was too busy (which didn't make sense cause she cooks almost every day but okay). The next time I saw her a few days later, I asked her if she was sure and upped the amount I was offering, and she said she was sure and that it was rude to ask me, and that she isn't a housekeeper for hire and I should get a housekeeper if that's what I want. She also called me 'a stranger' even though we have talked in the halls before.
So this 31-year-old man asked his neighbor to start cooking for him, and was shocked when she was insulted and creeped out by it. My dude was dumb enough to ask, and dumb enough to be surprised:
Overall she made me feel like a big jerk and really embarrassed for even asking her, and a little mad because she was acting like I was being creepy (I wasn't, trust me, she isn't my type). I think asking her to split cooking wasn't completely outlandish, since she cooks every day anyway and it wouldn't be hard to make a little more.
So, AITA?
All together now: YES! YOU ARE THE A**HOLE!
This guy wouldn't take no for an answer, and doesn't even know her name.
The post went viral on Twitter, and there is so much to unpack.
HOW HARD IS IT TO LEARN TO COOK?
Also, he doesn't even know her name, yet he asked her to be his personal chef.
Does he need somebody to do his laundry, too?
After nearly 3,000 on Reddit alone told him that he was a creep, he added to his original post saying that he got the message.
EDIT: People keep assuming I'm sexist because I didn't think it was the old man who lives on our hall cooking. It's not an assumption for me. He and I have lived across from each other for 6 years. The cooking smells didn't start til she moved in, and I've talked to her about how good her cooking smells before.
EDIT: Okay. It is abundantly clear that I was the asshole and asking her was inappropriate and, as much as I hate to admit it, creepy. My instinct is to apologize to her but since my instinct was to ask her in the first place, I'll do the opposite and stay out of her hair. Thanks.
It looks like the guy has learned has lesson—even if he still hasn't learned her name.
"I think, therefore I'm single."
-Liz Winston
Honestly, being single is the bomb You never have to worry about being cheated on, you can watch whatever you want on TV, and you can totally relate to these hilarious memes.
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Anyone who grew up drinking out of milk cartons remembers the haunting "missing person" photos of tiny children staring dead-eyed into your soul.
While carton milk is less in trend than it once was, images of missing people are still widely shared across internet posts and neighborhood fliers. The stories we often hear are either the best case situations where someone is found within a day, or the nightmares tales of mangled bodies. Rarely, if ever, do we hear stories from the perspective of those who were missing and survived (save mega famous cases like Elizabeth Smart).
Got tired of my dad kicking the shit out of me so I ran away at 15. KSP found me less than a week later drunk as fuck in the train yard by where I lived. Dad was pretty upset but he got sober and stopped being a dick after that.
"My parents stopped talking to each other since I was 5 but they still lived together.
One day, my father took me (9F at the time) to go shopping with him. We came back to find all the neighborhood looking for me and screaming my name, well...my mother was relieved but my parents had their 1245543th fight again.
This could have been avoided with one phone call.
I wish they could just divorce.
When I was young, probably about 6 I think, my family went on vacation to Yosemite. We stayed in a small cabin at a campground. I met another kid who was a bit older than me, and we went exploring. Apparently we went a bit too far, and eventually ran into a bear cub.
We just stood and stared at each other for a few minutes and went our separate ways. When I got back to the cabin, I found out that park rangers had been out looking for me because my parents had no idea where I was. For some reason they didn't think my bear story was as cool as I did.
My sister once had the entire neighborhood, the police department, and God knows who else out looking for her. It turns out, she had crawled behind the sofa, and fell asleep on top of an air conditioning vent for about 5 hours. My mom went inside as the sun started to go down, and sat down on the couch to cry. My sister then crawled out from behind the couch, and started petting her on the head asking her what was wrong
Not really "Missing" but my parents flipped and filed a missing person report when they couldn't find me
I was left at Walmart by them the only reason they found me was because they retraced their steps and Walmart was paging them every 5 minutes.
In 2nd grade, I fell asleep on the school bus ride home and missed my stop. My mom always waited at my stop to meet me, and freaked out when I didn't get off the bus. The bus driver looked back, and since I was lying down fast asleep, he didn't see me. An hour later, I woke up at a random school bus terminal on the outskirts of town, and my mom had phoned half the town freaking out.
Funny story to tell now, but my poor mother was convinced I had been kidnapped for a solid two hours, it really took a lot out of her.
Not me, but my brother was missing for around a year. He'd disappeared before, but only for a few days --he suffers from paranoid schizophrenia and would often get delusional--but this time he didn't turn up. We live in NYC and my parents had no idea where to look for him. They'd regularly go to the police station and look at pictures of bodies that had turned up. He didn't have any friends or girlfriends we could ask about him. He had just vanished.
A year later we got a call from a hospital in DC. My brother had been picked up on the street, nearly dead from malnutrition. He'd gone to Washington to warn the government about something or other. He often refused to eat, believing his food was poison, and lived on the streets for a year. The only reason he survived was because other homeless people took care of him and convinced him to occasionally eat something.
He was a skeleton when they found him, full of flea bites. Eventually my parents nursed him back to health. He's still mentally ill but hasn't tried to disappear again. I think about him whenever I see a homeless person.
I was kidnapped by my biological mother and missing for 3 months when I was a year old. My bio-mother has a horrendous crystal meth habit, took me during a court-mandated visitation and kept me in her various users/sellers houses.
When I was found, I hadn't been changed in days, I was in damp clothing and I had been given cough syrup daily to keep quiet. She was arrested and eventually released.
I got lost at 6 flags as a kid and it seemed like the entire police force was looking for me.
It was my first day in kindergarten, I was supposed to go to the after school day care but I lost the note saying I was supposed to. So the teacher shoved me on the bus and told the bus driver where I lived ( not sure if that's actually how it went down but regardless they made me leave) The bus drops little 5 year old me off at home. All the doors are locked and my mother wouldn't even get out of work for another 2-3 hours. So I do what any little kid does I sit on my front porch and cry.
Luckily I lived right across the street from the high school and this angel of a woman sees me from the the bleachers while a soccer game was going on. She comes over to check on me and stays with me the entire time.
Mean while at the school the staff is going crazy because im no where to be found, my mother was called and as im told, crying profusely. Then out of the blue I see this 1960s brown Cadillac pull up and over walks my principal he thanks the women for taking care of me and brings me back to the school.
Because of my situation they suspended my teacher and the bus driver, and I never do anything without proper paperwork
Edit: just talked to my mother and apparently the teacher left because of major medical issues at the time
Was never reported but my dad once forgot me at a café in the mid 90s during a time when local police was looking for this guy. Because everyone was paranoid at the time, my mom had made me learn my full name, my adress, our phone number and my parents‘ work phone numbers by heart and so when people realized that I was alone they were able to call my mom at work. Shortly after my dad showed up absolutely horrified. He had forgotten that he’d taken me with him.
Make your kids learn your phone number by heart.
My mother was on the phone with the police after I fell asleep in a cemetery for 7 hours after school?
I had a sh*t homelife, so I'd be anywhere and everywhere I could be to not go home. Beginning of the school year was still really nice outside, so I decided to hit the Dunkin Donuts near my house, grab some coffee, and I walked to the cemetery that was maybe 10 minutes walk from my house.
There was a really nice mausoleum in the cemetery, which happened to be the structure at the highest point in the city, so you can, on a clear day, see about 15 miles. I chilled there for a while, just kinda thinking. About 300 feet away is a statue of Jesus on the cross, with other figures. I was kinda tired so I laid a little ways away from it, just enough to get some shade, not enough to be laying on it, and I listened to music until I passed out. Woke up a few hours later, figured "f*ck it, might as well go home" and my mother started losing her shit. "He just walked in, I'm so sorry- WHERE THE F*CK WERE YOU????"
I left and went back to the cemetery.
My mother throw me away from my family home.
It was almost 25 years ago.
I was missing person for many years.
The worst part was when you call the number from the poster is that you have to answer very private questions about yourself or your past, that only you can know the answer. I did it few years ago. After being missing for a most 20 years. Those questions were difficult. They asked me about my dog. I swear to god my dog was the only thing I missed all those years. I miss my dog.
After a long period of estrangement, I went to visit my mother and father. This was after a long drive and I was quite tired. My mother decided it was the perfect opportunity to berate me. I tried to leave and she blocked my car physically so she could continue to berate me.
I just left my car in the driveway and walked to a nearby hotel. I stayed there for a couple days, went back and got my car without seeing them, and drove back home.
A few years later I googled myself as I was up for a job and wanted to make sure there wasn't anything stupid on the Internet about me. I found out they reported me missing.
I called the government and got it removed.
Edit: this was over a decade ago and I do not recall which government agency I contacted. It was either a sherriiffs department or a local police department website which publically displayed my photo and my mother's nonsense.
Edit: And yes, you're right, it does sound weird that I called 'the government'. Considering the extent these events upset me, it makes me happy to laugh about it now.
I was reported missing for a few days because I ran away from home at 16. I ran away with my 17 year old boyfriend (who was not reported missing by his parents).
My parents had read through some of my chat messages (I had a habit of saving logs) and knew I was likely heading north or west, but weren’t sure. Thankfully, since I was listed as missing and they knew who I was with, the guy was being monitored and he used his debit card on the way, so they had an idea where I'd be.
Cops came with a search warrant to the place we were staying a couple hours before we were going to head off west. We already had a new car ready to go, with some cash, to make it harder to be tracked- were gonna leave later that night.
I’m very lucky. If we’d taken off before the cops found me, there’s a more-than-decent chance I’d have stayed missing and life would have been very very bad (I married the guy a couple months later and he was an abusive asshole- his manipulations and isolation of me were a huge factor in the running away also).
I had a decent stay at a sheep farm while a ward of the state though, waiting for my parents to arrive and get me. That was neat. Then I got home and a family friend came over to scream at me about how I was trying to murder her daughter and that I was a disgrace. Not so neat.
I've been "missing" for about 5 years now. It really gives you a new perspective on how many missing people, particularly adults, either just don't want to be found or simply haven't contacted the particular people who filed their report.
The people who know where I am and what happened are the people I want to know that information. For a while I was homeless and met several others who were also in the database or on the Charley Project. Circumstances take you to places you never thought you'd go. It's not always as simple as being snatched off the street.
And the ones who reported me didn't get anywhere by doing so. My trail went to a website of 150,000+ other missing adults and just hangs out there perpetually cold. I'm fine with that.
I have really strict parents and they absolutely did not want me to have a boyfriend. Instead of doing what they wanted, I went and got a boyfriend (age 17, almost 18) behind their backs and would routinely sneak out to hang with him. One night, he dropped me off at home and my mom saw us kiss. She flipped her shit and started beating the hell out of me and threatened to kill me. So, when everyone went to sleep, I packed all my stuff in the middle of the night and left.
I walked to my boyfriends house (clear on the other side of town) and stayed with him. Woke up to multiple threats from my parents about how they were going to charge him with kidnapping or with being a sexual predator (he was 20 at the time). I stayed there until they filed a missing person’s report and the police came and took me home. I ended up dating him for 2 years anyway lol
Not that interesting but I was 14 and I decided to walk to my then boyfriend's house which was an hour away walking but I thought I could do it since it was still in the same city. Anyway, I sneak out the front door while everyone's asleep. And I almost got kidnapped. Some guy pulled up in his car on the side of the street where I was walking. There was no sidewalk so I was in the shoulder and I made the ugliest double chin face I could make and picked up a rock trying to make my self look super ugly so I wouldn't get kidnapped and I just stood there with my double chins until he finally drove off.
I kept walking. It's maybe 25 minutes later and i've now found myself passing night clubs and so many people outside drunk and in short revealing clothes. That's when I got scared and went up to two policeman I saw in the corner. I told them I needed a ride home. And they asked for my info, I gave them my address and name. They looked me up on their computer and found out there was a missing person report out on me.
When they dropped me off infront of my door, my mom was up, my sister, my aunt and uncle and cousins were there. It was the most embarassing moment of my life and I never snuck out again.
I have a story! And it’s actually about me!
When I was seven years old, everyone in my family got the flu pretty bad. My two younger sisters and I all shared a room adjacent to my parents’, and my baby brother was sleeping in my parents’ bed.
Well, because of the illness, my two younger sisters were also sleeping in my parents’ bed. At around 1:30 in the morning, I woke up and realized I was the only person sleeping in my room. Not wanting to be alone, I crawled into my parents' room and saw everyone cuddled on the bed. Feeling incredibly jealous, I turned to go back to my room, but had a lightbulb moment and figured out another solution. I bundled down to the bottom of the covers at the foot of the bed, completely covered.
Around 2:15, my mother woke up to check on me, as mothers do. I wasn’t there. Unusual. She checks for me in her bed. Husband and three visible children. She goes downstairs, and check to see if I’m sleeping on a sofa, or in one of the two guest bedrooms. We have one door in our house that’s tricky, and will sometimes swing open on its own accord.
The door was open.
Checks both bathrooms.
Still no sign.
At around 2:30, she woke up my father. It was early February, and therefore quite cold out. My parents walked around outside, and they saw my footprints all around the house. However, I had been outside earlier that day, and it hasn’t snowed in a few weeks.
My parents were afraid I had become delirious and wandered outside in the cold, or worse. So after some heated discussion, they first called the police, and then our babysitter to watch the rest of the kids.
In about 10 minutes, the entire police force of our tiny town is in our living room. They have lit up all 16 acres of our property with floodlights, and have lifted up a chopper in the county over to start a search. All of my siblings were woken up and moved to the living room with the babysitter. Funnily enough, this is actually my youngest sisters earliest memory.
The chief of police said they were going to crack search the house, and started in my parents' bedroom. Naturally, the first thing they did was take the covers off the bed.
The only thing I remember is being woken up by a police officer shining the light in my face and rudely ripping the covers off me. I was incredibly annoyed.
Naturally, my parents were incredibly apologetic, but the officers were very good-natured and said not to worry about it and that this was definitely the preferred outcome.
About five months later, my father and I went to the local fire hall’s annual fundraiser and performed a few songs that my dad had me learn specifically for this occasion, and he told the story of what happened to me that night, thanking the first responders for their quick action, and good attitude. I think we donated some money, but honestly, I have no idea. I was slightly embarrassed, because everyone was picking on me, but flattered enough by the fact that I got to sing for all of the adults that I didn’t mind.
That’s probably the fastest way I’ve ever spent your hard-earned tax dollars. You’re welcome.
I was 9 and sometimes I would walk home after school, sometimes my mom would come pick me up. One day I was invited to go to my friend’s house down the block to work on a school project, and I called home from the school phone to see if that was okay. The line was busy, so I kept calling for nearly half an hour and couldn’t get through. I started walking toward my friend’s house on the same route I would normally walk home hoping my mom would pass me. I was also thinking maybe I had mixed up my days, because my mom hadn’t come to get me.
I told the office workers I was going to walk to my friend’s house and to let my mom know I had been calling since school got out. It took me about 15 minutes to walk there, and I started calling my mom again. For the next hour, the line kept going to a busy signal. I was getting really worried by that point, so I left and on the way home a family friend saw me and said my mom had reported that I was missing.
In the 15 minutes it had taken me to get to my friend’s house, she had gotten off the phone with who ever she was talking to, driven to the school, didn’t see me, waited a few minutes, then drove home and started calling the police, my dad, and anyone else she could think of to help look for me.
It never occurred to her to ask any of the school staff if they had seen me, or to get off the phone for a few minutes in case I (or anyone else) was trying to call. The police even scolded her for tying up the line after they told her to keep it clear.
With a few exceptions, we all need to work to survive. And as someone who makes curated lists for a living, I'm in no position to judge what other people do to make that bread. And there's something fascinating about the people who appear in adult film sets without actually engaging in any of the sex stuff. It raises so many questions, like: how did they get there? What's the pay like? Are they hiring? (Lol.) And finally, some of those questions have been answered.
1.) From DaddyTotofski:
My dad is an actor and one of his first jobs was being the main non-sexual role in a porno, where he basically visited his high school graduation class crushes and was there to look at them having sex with other dudes. It's fucking hilarious.
He basically said he got paid like 500 for the day (back in the 80s) and was just improvising the entire time. There's a scene where he smiles at the camera while peaking through his roommates door, and the last scene is him half-talking/half-crying to his roommate while he and another chick are going at it hard. The porno itself is absolute shit, he was definitely the highlight.
Can't remember the name tho, found it on xhamster.
2.) From EatTheHead:
In the ‘80s my dad owned a video store and was approached by an adult video production company to shoot the intro to one of their movies in his store. He agreed and on the day of the shoot they informed him that they needed one of the employees to be in the scene as the video store clerk. So there’s probably 10 seconds of this hour-long movie with my dad showing these two women to the adult section of the store.
Cut to a few months later, the production company wants to do a soft core cut of the movie for cable channels and my dad’s scene is in the preview for it on the playboy channel. He gets a call one night from his sister yelling at him about how he’s in a porno. Apparently her husband liked to watch the playboy channel and saw it. My dad had to explain how he wasn’t actually “in it” etc. he got a lot of calls while that preview was being shown haha.
3.) From UsedSexToys4Sale:
My buddy used to be a camera guy and his wife the makeup artist on adult films in Chatsworth, CA.
They invited me to come visit. I didn't know this meant I'd be in a scene. It was called Frathouse Fuckfest and I'm the guy yelling "Fuck her face!" over and over again while eating BBQ chicken.
4.) From sammavet:
I used to DJ at a fuck club (swingers bar, or what ever you call them in your area). Not quite the same, but you just stop noticing the naked after a (short) while.
5.) From Lookatitlikethis:
My time to shine!
A few years back I was offered a role in a porn and as I was excited about the offer I accepted. It was standard uninterested husband/horny wife plot.
I stayed under the covers and pretended to be asleep while ass got smashed around me.
6.) From NOTcreative-:
Actually me. Friend worked for a major company whose logo you will see on memes, got invited to be an extra and did so several times. Got paid a flat rate of $100/shoot. Some would last longer (parodies involving costumes/makeup such as zombie) others would last just a couple hours (often played the Bf who got cheated on). Talent was always super friendly and nice, no terrible stories.
Sometimes a lot of waiting around while they shot the sex scenes sometimes they would cut just to focus on female talent, saw male talent outside studio doing what he could to maintain stiffness. Some talent and extras would be using stimulants but nothing terrible drug wise. It was a job for everyone. Pretty professional and fun. They would often buy lunch for everyone on longer shoots. Easy cash and fun times, female talent would be overly flirty. Did a zombie parody and Star Wars one amongst other shoots where my girlfriend had sex with the teacher to get out of failing grades for both of us or she had sex throughs glory hole in a changing room whilst I waited outside. Probably not as exciting an answer as hoped but, if here are any specific questions I’d be happy to answer!
Edit: Couple things coming up. When I said girlfriend I mean it in the context of the story of the porn we were shooting, not my actual girlfriend. But wouldn’t have been opposed to dating one either, I had a girlfriend at the time that was not cheating on me.
One thing of note that’s kind of funny to mention is when they’re shootings sex scenes there are usually a lot of cuts and actions. It’s amazing how in the middle of sex they can stop or start and the female talent can turn off and on the “pleasure” sounds like it’s nothing. From completely silent to sounding like she’s having the biggest orgasm of her life in one second flat, that’s quality acting.
7.) From nickycthatsme:
I was assured it wasn't a porn (just an 'erotic film') by the guy who introduced me to the project but a few things tipped me off:
Every other actor there was a porn actor
We had an 'alibi' if the owner asked us what we were shooting
The title was a sexy riff on a well-known TV show
The director had exclusively directed porn for 40 years
Saw them shooting a scene where a dude was actively jerking off to a naked woman dancing.
I just played a cop and never had to drop trou. Highest paid acting gig I'd ever gotten up to that point in my life. When they asked me what I wanted to credit myself as, I realized I couldn't put my name on it, so I chose my friend's name--to whom I owed some mild revenge.
It's still on his IMDb profile.
Sorry, Mike.
8.) From Darx92:
I was an extra for a Public Disgrace and an Upper Floor shoot for Kink.com. It was super cool! For Public Disgrace they had an open bar, but if you chose not to drink you could actually play with the model during a couple parts of the shoot. This one chick jumped in at the first opportunity and just went to town finger banging the model lol.
The Upper Floor shoot was basically a fancy sex party with a porn being shot in the background. They had an open bar, delicious appetizers, sex toys and furniture to use. In the outside halls they had giant oil paintings of crazy kink shoots placed in golden ornate frames. It was the most posh sexy thing I've ever done!
9.) From WhiskeyTimer:
HA! I can answer this. I had a roommate in college who was a bartender. One night when I was about to start studying for midterms, I got a call asking if I wanted to come watch a porn. Bartender roommate said 'They're doing some porn shoot for kink for public disgrace, and need people to just stand around in the background. There's free booze' So obviously me and the other roommate go.
Now, I was unaware what Kink was, but the site has...niches, to put it lightly, and public disgrace is what it sounds like. Girl shows up, gets fucked in public (with some bondage aspects. We arrive, and I decide not to drink, because I have midterm test the next day, and the director told us "So ya'll can grab her, but can't insert anything. And if you want to masturbate, that's fine, but keep it off the actress, only tested actors can insert, or get anything on her'
They start setting up, and this short chubby bald dude comes up to us and says "So, uhh, how did you guys hear about this?" and we explained our roommate told us and he said "Oh that's sweet you see this stuff all the time? I found out about it on craigslist. Figured it was worth a shot to try and come out"
This dude proceeds to get SUPER drunk, and very creepy. He very willingly engages in the 'if you want to masturbate go ahead' offer, but takes it too far. When they're in between shots, and the actress is just sitting in a robe, he's still going staring at her, fat guy hanging out, sweaty. During once scene she yells "STOP! THAT GUY JUST CAME ON ME!" Fat dude looks down super sad, and they tell him he's gotta go, and he apologizes. I almost felt sorry for him because he looked so pathetic, and I remembered he just ejaculated on a total stranger.
The rest of the shoot was uneventful. I made it into the trailer just looking bored in the background. So that's pretty funny. I started a slow clap after the finale, but they edited to everyone just applauding.
Slow clap would have been funnier.
10.) From Skypimp380:
I signed up for a porn shoot, thinking I would get to fuck some Lena Paul kinda girl. Turned out that I was the boyfriend the girl cheated on. It was the kinda porno where I’m across the table and she’s hiding underneath and sucking his dick. I could see everything but I wasn’t allow to get hard cuz it would ruin the shot.
11.) From monorail_pilot:
Apparently they were shooting something on the Balcony at Tricou house in New Orleans during Mardi Gras. I was in the background as I was nextdoor doing work for nola live.
12.) From callmeraylo:
I was an extra in scores of adult videos for one of the bigger websites. Here is how:
A buddy of mine was super into porn, not just watching, but fanboyed The girls, liked to go to conventions. I always found the conventions awkward myself. He asked me to go with him one year, so I did. We stopped at a booth, he wanted to get some autographs, I didn't care too, so he jumped in line and I hung back behind the crowd. I stuck up a conversation with some English dude, he was super cool. Quickly discovered he was a popular male talent. I asked him "hey you know in like a classroom scene there are students who start in the class, but leave when the sex starts, how does one get to be those guys?" "Oh dude we always need extras. Hey we are having a barbecue on Saturday, if you want to come you should text me"
I take his number, tell my buddy about it when he comes back and he freaks out. He wants to go, I text Kieran, he gives me the details. Huge mansion in the Hollywood Hills. We park, knock on the door. Some random dude with a shaved head answers, "you the guys Kieran invited?"
"Uhhh....yeah..."
"Cool come on in"
The guy was the camera man, he had us sign some waivers and filmed us staying our names, that we were not under the influence, and we were done 18 while holding our IDs up. Quickly realized this was no normal barbecue. That was just the setting for the scene. The crew (3 people), Kieran and the starlet were all super cool people, very nice. Didn't mind any of our questions and were super welcoming.
There crew was 3 people, a director, a set builder, and a camera man. The starlet was there and Kieran. A married porn couple was also there just hanging out, weren't in the scene at all.
We had no lines, but we're just supposed to pretend we were talking with Kieran, and give some omg looks at the beautiful girl in the bikini outside, things like this. We were there a few hours. At one point I was told if I was thirsty to help myself to cokes in the pantry. I opened it up. And it was wall to wall condoms, home enema kits, and roll after roll of paper towels. On the floor was one 12 pack under a box of plastic gloves. Was super interesting.
Eventually they had the shots they needed from us extras, and were going to get to the action. We were given $100 checks, and were thanked for our time. The director liked us and asked if we'd like to do it again, flat $100 per day. We said yes, and he told us his assistant would be in contact whenever we were needed.
I did scores of scenes, and got a lot of my friends extra work too. I was football players, a married guy whose wife cheats on him (did that several times), a clubgoer, a survivor-like contestant, a wedding guest, a point pong player at a party, and time of other things. It was a lot of fun, meet a lot of really cool people, and got some great stories. The crew and most porn stars I met were all super nice, relaxed people. Was definitely an interesting time....
13.) From bloatedkat:
It was by accident. There was this website on Bangbros 10 years ago called Fuck Team Five where they filmed average guys banging porn stars. I was at the checkout line at a liquor store and they staged a couple of "random guys" next to me and three porn stars walked in to seduce them. It wasn't until years later that my friend discovered me and sent me a link to the video. The camera guy never asked me for permission to be on film so I guess I could have sued.
14.) From gimletglass:
A friend of mine got to be a background extra in a porno for an "alt" porn site that was filming at his friend's coffee shop in Brooklyn after hours. It was supposed to look like the couple was fucking while disinterested customers just sat in the background. The male actor had trouble staying hard and they had to keep stopping and restarting. He said it seemed like everyone was pretty upset with the whole situation and while they did eventually finish the scene, apparently it was bad enough that the site never even bothered to post it.
15.) From didsomeonesaydonuts:
Wasn’t an extra but when I was a student and just starting out in photography I lived in Miami I met a model (Anita Dark) who ask me to photograph her. I didn’t know of her at the time It came out later in the conversation that she was a porn star. She was really nice and sweet and asked me to shoot her and a couple of her friends for her website. I was young and single, she was seriously nice and hot so figured why not. Turned up at her house to find her and two friends nude putting on makeup in the bathroom. Her manager was there along with another girl who was filming with a video camera. After hi’s and introductions I started shooting Anitas two friends who were doing a lesbian scene. During one point while one girl was doing the other with a dildo she looked me right in the eyes and said “it’s been ages since I’ve had a real dick”. I then noticed that the girl with the video camera was filming me. I figured out quite quickly that they were hoping i’d join in. I stayed professional, figured that my family would be really disappointed in me and finished the shoot. Said goodbye, sent them the photos and that was the last of my porn photographer days.
16.) From theyellowtiredone:
Was on the set of a porn to interview Julian Rios with a friend of mine for a message board I was a part of. It was a mansion that was rented in Malibu. We were there all day. They had a party scene but no people to represent a party so they asked us if we wanted to be in it. I'm always down for a fun new experience so we said yes. All we had to do was walk out the door like guests leaving a party. We weren't actors so we didn't know anything about marks, when to stop, etc. We walked out and just kept walking. They had to come get us to redo the scene. We just laughed, the director didn't think it was a funny. They had us fill out forms. Again, knowing nothing about anything, I was happy when I got $50 check in the mail to go with my fun story but I really should have paid more attention to the paperwork. I used my real name and I ended up in the credits and on IMDB. I like to tell people you can see the back of my head in a porn. 😂
Watching a porn being shot isn't sexy or hot. I was embarrassed and kept looking away but it was an experience. One of the gals was sitting on the couch reading a Harry Potter book in a see thru dress.
17.) From IsuruKusumal:
Not me but, this guy called Joey - was an extra and he was the printer boy trying fix the copier while people having sex on it. His only line was "you know, that's bad for the paper tray"
18.) From PJExpat:
I was an extra
I actually didn't know it was porn until I got there, my role was I was sitting down at a cafe, when the main two characters met. You see me for like a second. I got $100 pretty easy money, would do it again.
19.) From Roland_T_Flakfeizer:
Guess I'll contribute one.
Before anyone asks, no sauces available, it was for a pay site and I've long since lost the ability to access it.
One of my best friends and former fwb ran a website for a low level porn producer. She talked me into being in front of the camera as sort of a fake cameraman who was on camera filming people have sex. I was supposed to be a husband or boyfriend or whatnot who was filming his partner fucking someone.
It was fun, i guess. Got to join in on the post-shoot hot tub parties, and slept with a few of the girls when they were off duty. All in all, it was a thing i did during my wilder days.
20.) From -_-_-CONFUSION-_-_-:
This reminds me of that guy who played a blind dad who's daughter got pounded by his stepson in front of him.
21.) From IncenseAndIron:
sigh
Not an extra, but I have done some background work in porn. There's a guy in our town who does small time porn shoots. So, just to call myself out as a sexual deviant, I'm into BDSM. I've been tying knots on people for almost 15 years. So, this porn guru that I'll call LL, got my number from a friend who was in one his shoots and texts me about doing some bondage for a few of his films. LL gives me an idea of what he wants and says he'll pay me per shoot. Because why TF would I say no to that kind of easy money?
So I show up, spend a couple hours tying up girls, stay on set to make sure it all works and is safe and watch a guy rail them. I've had to kind of "coach" his male star about where to pull to tighten, where to pull to loosen, how not to actually hurt someone, etc. The shoots lasted each about 4 1/2 hours, give or take. I've done this four times for LL now. It's really awkward. I mean R E A L L Y awkward.
About a week ago, he started texting again asking about sex machines and suspension and I'm not sure if I like where this is going.
22.) From cryptorific:
Sort of an extra, An ex-roomate of mine from my college days had a "girls gone wild" porn shoot (or something similar) at his house. Eg college girls screwing in the middle of a "house party". It was authentic in the sense that there were a bunch of college kids playing beer pong and standing around. It looked like a collegiate house party on film but the girls were most certainly not college students, nothing was spontaneous, camera lights are surprisingly bright in person. My ex roommate charged his frat brothers admission since he wasn't getting paid by the producers. He made a decent amount. I was barely visible off the edge of a couple shots. I doubt anyone could pick me out unless I specifically pointed myself out and they knew me back then. This was in the days when a lot of stuff was still filmed in SD so the video quality was poor. It was surprisingly boring after the initial novelty wore off and i didn't stay for the whole shoot.
Landlords are oftentimes villains. In many cities landlords are known for jacking up rent, pinching pennies when it comes to fixing up spaces, and largely attempting to wield financial power over people trying to obtain shelter.
However, not all tenants are innocent parties working hard and minding their own business. There are plenty of reckless people who put the safety of themselves and others at risk through their lifestyle choices, and there are times when eviction is the only answer.
While not making rent hardly makes for a good story (and is a financial strait many of us can relate to), there are notable instances where tenants get booted for next level weirdness.
I can answer that.
Tenant was growing weed in the house.
Other tenants were complaining.
Called in and told him to get rid of it. I don't care about it being illegal (it is where I am), but I take the complaints from the other tenants seriously.
He said he would.
Couple of days later the other tenants call and say the plant is still there.
So I met him and said if you don't get rid of the plant now, I'm calling the cops.
He said 'call them'.
So I did. Arrested and evicted in one easy motion. What an idiot.
They built a turtle habitat without permission in the basement.
Heard this story second hand from a friend who knows the tenant. They started a turtle breeding business, so they decided to flood the basement with maybe 6 inches of water. The entire basement. It was a concrete floor, but there was still drywall on the wall.
Don’t know how the landlord found out, or how long they had the habitat, but he kicked them out immediately. No notice. It was either leave now or he’d sue for damages. Next day they were out.
Guy got evicted from university housing because he was using the fire sprinkler head as the endpoint of a clothesline. This broke the sprinkler head, flooded half my floor (4th floor) and every apartment underneath down to the base level.
Had to evict someone for not using the shower curtain.
They took a long shower and flooded their bathroom, which ran down and flooded the apartment below them.
We lost the downstairs tenant as well. Plus insurance wouldn't cover the damages since it wasn't from a burst pipe or other plumbing issue.
Then when they were evicted they asked for their damage deposit back.
Not a landlord, but: I knew a guy in college that moved into an off-campus apartment with his friends, because he was completely broke and irresponsible. He didn't add himself to their lease, in an attempt to avoid fees for additional occupants, and he didn't pay rent to his roommates.
About a year later, his friends graduated and moved out, and they gave him plenty of warning so that he could get his shit together and move out.
He did exactly nothing.
The landlord came and told him that he had to vacate, because the lease had ended, which lead to the dumbest excuses I've ever heard in my life:
Well, this isn't my apartment, so it's not my job to pay rent. I just live here.
Later on facebook, he tried to twist this into a sob story:
Can you believe they just evicted me??
My dorm mate freshman year got evicted for rolling through the hallway on an office chair blasting a big fire extinguisher.
Not me but one of my college friend was evicted by his landlord because he was f*cking landlord's daughter.
Had a tenant who started gutting the apartment and selling off the appliances that came with it.
Not a landlord, but: When I was living in a dorm there was a mysterious case of small plastic bags filled with poo appearing on a tree in front of the dorm building over night. How did they get there? A foreign student seemed to have had some kind of toilet shyness and didn't want to use the shared dorm restrooms, so he did his business into small plastic bags.
He then decided, instead of discarding those bags discretely, to just throw the bags out of his window into the tree at night. This didn't go well with the facility management of the dorm and he lost his dorm room.
My sister used to have some duplexes she rented out. One tenant was several months late on payments and numerous times the tenant promised she was working on getting the money.
My sister was being nice because the tenant was in a hard spot and recovering. One day she went by to visit and the tenant had a brand new tattoo sleeve all the way down her arm. When confronted about why the money wasn't used to pay rent the tenant said they really wanted the tattoo.
The eviction process started immediately.
My dad was a landlord and one of the tenants tore out the cabinet doors and replaced them with chicken wire and put chickens in the cabinets
Tenant left all the windows open I'm rain storms apparently and didn't clean up water that blew in and every single window in the house was rotted and had black mold.
They asked for their deposit back.
I'm not a landlord but a property manager, so manage properties on behalf of landlords.
We had a group of tenants that climbed out of their kitchen window to smoke on the flat roof outside, fell through and caused tonnes of damage to the shop immediately below then attempted to have a pop at us as we never informed them that they couldn't climb out of the window.
Later that tenancy, one of the same tenants (there were four total, two involved in the roof thing) put a pan on the hob then forgot about it which set fire to the kitchen. They complained that the ash aggravated their asthma.
They didn't seem to understand why their tenancy wasn't renewed and why we kept their deposit.
My landlord had to evict the two young men living in the basement apartment. They got into a habit of terrorizing the poor old lady living on the first floor. And they would also always turn the heat of the building up to 45C. It was a huge fire hazard. Let's say we were happy they left.
My dad’s the landlord but I’m technically second voice of the property. We own the house next door for renting purposes.
This tenant was the definition of ”I’ll pay you eventually.” She only talks to my dad if she needs help, otherwise she avoids us. But I’ll get back to that.
This woman had a dog and all that time we thought it was hers. She treated it like garbage, barely took care of it. One day she left this little puppy in the snow and my mom was furious. Before we could call over the dog to give him some warmth, the tenant walked out, grabbed him and slammed the door. She would keep using “pet fees” as an excuse to hold off on rent and we learned that A) she was lying and B) the dog WASN’T EVEN HERS.
From what I put together, she held her ex’s dog hostage and took it out on him by not taking good care of him. My dad, after realizing it went to confront her and she hid from him, then drove away, claiming she had a party to go to. My dad blocked the driveway with his car and said he’s move it once she pays her rent. She was so hysterical; it got to the point where she got her dad involved, but he ended up taking OUR side.
Her dad paid the rent, sent the dog back and we were done with her.
EDIT: I see a lot of people were skeptical about my dad blocking the driveway. To clarify, he wasn’t blocking her IN, he was blocking her OUT from when she returned. Also she didn’t likely go to a party, she was just trying to avoid him. And this is in Canada so the laws slightly vary. It definitely would’ve been illegal if he blocked her in. Either way, this didn’t last very long, so it wasn’t something that put her in danger.
My husband and I just bought a new rental and had to evict one of the tenants because they were running an illegal water ice business out of the home. The previous owner had to pay user/occupancy fines before the sale could clear and we didn't want to risk being on the hook for those same fines when the tenant inevitably started the business up again.
[edit] I forgot water ice is a regional thing. It's a dessert thing in Philly, it's like Italian ice or a slushie. They were selling frozen treats out of the house, which is illegal because the house wasn't zoned as a business.
I helped my father evict a tenant from the second house he owned and was renting out.
The house had a small secure garage attached to it. But rather than use this to repair his motorbikes, the tenant had three of them inside the house. Two in the living room, in bits and one in the spare room upstairs, also in bits.
Oil everywhere. He'd spilt at least one gallon of old downstairs which had soaked into the carpet and floor underneath. He'd taken the carpet up and thrown it in the garden. Upstairs there were numerous small spills, carpet wrecked again.
Dirty handprints all over the doors and walls, especially on the stairwell, kitchen cupboards and so on.
We found out as the neighbours were complaining about the smell of petrol - he had a leaking fuel tank in the kitchen, on the draining board. It was very slow so thankfully he hadn't blown the house up, but the kitchen stank, along with the outside drain.
My father had a clause in the rental agreement that specifically prohibited any kind of workshop type activity in the house (no woodwork, pottery, engine repairs etc). So it was fairly easy to evict him, took two months. He didn't even ask for his deposit back and left two of the bikes behind - two shitty old Hondas that were beyond repair. My father sold them for a few quid to help pay for the repairs to the house.
She kept shutting off the power to the AIRBNB a unit above her. Also she assaulted an AIRBNB guess. That was pretty dumb of her.
Not the landlord,son of the landlord. Parent had to evict tenants because they kept damaging stuff in the house than taking my parent to court to demand it be fixed. 1 tenant is now in jail for breaking back into the house to rob me after being evicted.
Obligatory not a Landlord, but my dorm mate got evicted for getting really drunk, having to throw up, not wanting to do it in the toilet, and against me and my friend telling him not to, smashed the window and puked out the window onto a car. Kicked him out but not me and my friend meaning we had to pick up extra rent money.
Former president Barack Obama called out "call-out" culture, and it's sparking discussion on both sides of the aisle.
At the Obama Foundation Summit in Chicago, the eponymous Obama criticized "woke" social media users for judging people online and refusing to compromise.
"This idea of purity and that you’re never compromised and you’re always politically woke — you should get over that quickly," Obama said, and the room giggled. "The world is messy. There are ambiguities. People who do really good stuff have flaws. People who you are fighting may love their kids, and share certain things with you."
He didn't stop there. The former community organizer added that being Extremely Online is not activism, and he cited college campuses as a sort of unproductive Wokeness Olympics:
I do get a sense sometimes now among certain young people, and this is accelerated by social media — there is this sense sometimes of the way of me making change is to be as judgmental as possible about other people, and that’s enough. If I tweet or hashtag about how you didn’t do something right or used the wrong verb, then I can sit back and feel pretty good about myself. Did you see how woke I was, I called you out. Then I’m going to get on my TV and watch my show … That’s not activism. That’s not bringing about change. If all you’re doing is casting stones, you’re probably not going to get that far.
People on the Left were disappointed to see the former Hope and Change Candidate promote a politics of compromise, using his platform to rail against teens rather than racists.
They also wrote that Obama failed to recognize that Leftists with Twitter accounts do things in person, too.
Speaking of racists, Donald Trump Jr. cheekily asked if Obama "has gotten red pilled," which is the alt-right term of having an epiphany and supporting MAGA ideology. It's basically the Right's term for their version of woke.
Many people who aren't Don Jr. supported his comments, captioning the video with such praise as "this. Very much this" and"THIS! THIS! THIS!"
If you went through a phase in your teen years where you redid your entire wardrobe/worldviews to mimic a band or cultural movement you thought was "cool," you're part of a long tradition that is keeping Hot Topic in business. Maybe you were goth, punk, emo, a white guy with dreads, a white guy with a hip-hop obsession or some combination or something completely different. Maybe you were a juggalo. Or maybe, like me, you paired parachute pants with a puka shell necklace and went to Dave Matthews Band concerts dressed as Avril Lavigne. It was that classic combo of trying to fit in while also being "unique" that defines so many people's awkward-yet-exciting teenage years.
1.) From galejprz:
There was a time in my mid-teens where I could grow my sideburns out but no other facial hair to accompany it. I thought the sideburns looked cool on their own, but upon further review, they did not.
2.) From JustAnotherVoice44:
I LOVED WWF growing up. I had a couple of cassettes with some of their walkout music. If my mom was sitting around with her friends, I would put on a song, usually Stone-Cold, Bret Hart or Shawn Michaels, then proceed to "walk-out" acting like them, standing on a random item and raise my hands to the crowd. I would take it as far as I could before the embarrassment took over and I would hide in shame.
3.) From AltogetherGuy:
The only goth dressed all in white.
4.) From TimDuncanCanDunk:
I was that guy trying to be as random as possible in an attempt to be funny
5.) From Who-Dey88:
I'm a super white ginger dude who is not cool at all.
I used to wear a gold chain in high school and actively "studied" on how to be hip. I hate it, I hate thinking about it, and I hate you for making me think about it again.
6.) From Zalyni:
In high school I would wear cat ears to school. Every. Single. Day.
7.) From it5th3m1ckster:
There were a good few years during ages 12-15 where I tried to convince everyone including myself that I was a robot. I have no idea why. I had all these explanations as to how I grew (pneumatic bones) and how my brain was actually a computer. During truth or dare my biggest secret was always "I am actually a robot".. so cringey. Everyone thought I was trolling but to be honest I actually believed it myself.
Now looking back I kind of view those times as undiagnosed mental issues that presented in weird ways, but by god everyone thought I was the weirdest person ever and I don't even blame them!
8.) From SoutherMI517:
“Frosted tips”
9.) From DiamondsInTheSky97:
I wrote poems and songs about my boyfriend (now fiance) when we first got together in our early teens.
He still has the damn papers and hides them from me so I can't throw them away. I cringe so hard remembering the shit I wrote
10.) From Horny4theEnvironment:
Bowl haircut, parted down the middle with the McDonald's arch in the front. 🤢
11.) From biripom:
I'm not like other girls one. It was awful. Thank God, teen me thought adult me would be embarrassed of that, so I barely took pictures of my teens.
12.) From CincoDeMayonnaise55:
I watched too many Pauly Shore movies and adopted some of his catch phrases.
13.) From Saintblack:
I use to quote depressing lyrics on Myspace to let my girlfriend know I hated being with her but I didn't have the balls to break up with her.
When she would ask why I wrote that I'd bluff and say "It's just a song, lol".
Edit: To clarify, she was cheating on me but I had been with her a long time and was stupid/naive.
14.) From zazzlekdazzle:
Suicidal, existentialist, goth, poet with an interest in "witchcraft," tarot cards, vampires, etc.
The whole enchilada, I really left no cliché unturned. I have no idea how I got so far down that rabbit hole since I didn't even know anyone else who was that into this stuff.
15.) From NyanHotdogParty:
"I was born in the wrong generation because today's music sucks" phase in high school
16.) From Teglement:
POP MUSIC BAD
INDIE MUSIC GOOD
of course my idea of 'indie' was Radiohead, completely invalidating my existence
17.) From NerbleBurfs:
Pretending that I was an alien disguised as an earthling sent to this planet to observe humans through friendship. I don’t know how those who became my friends during that phase stayed my friends. Also I’m thankful I don’t remember much of it.
18.) From Digitalprop:
When I thought my sexuality was my personality.
I wiped everything from my social media accounts purely because of all the cringe.
19.) From iatemysweater:
my shock humor phase. most of my jokes were dirty and offensive. it made people laugh (middle school) but i was trying too hard. it’s still a part of my personality i just don’t do it as much.
20.) From aaalchemisttt:
Classic rock/metal phase in early middle school. Back then I found out my crush who was 4 years older than me liked Pink Floyd so I thought that letting him know that I listened to them too would get him to notice and talk to me. So I drew the Dark Side of the Moon album art on an A4 paper with colored pencils (because I wasn't able to print it and I wasn't able to buy any merch) and put it in my binder and just kept walking past him while holding the binder. Spoiler alert: that didn't work.
21.) From Swimm_:
I used to say I was a metalhead but I only listened to System Of a Down. I had a Korn poster in my room but I didn't know a single song of them.
22.) From dobak94:
Blindly following and listening to whatever Pitchfork said was good, and not being subjective about music. Then making fun of more popular artists constantly on my twitter
23.) From superboredgurl:
I was an otaku who said unironically "nyan" and called all my friends their names but ended with "chan".
Thank god it was just a phase.
24.) From frecklesandmurder:
Crushes on teachers and actively pursuing my coach romantically while I was under 18. He leaned into it a bit. I think he liked the attention and flirting, but looking back...yeesh. Essentially led to something when I was 19, but I was just... grossly persistent and embarrassing. Makes me think about how clearly unfinished my brain was.
25.) From megasaurus420:
Being a scene kid. Walking round town listening to Blood on the Dance floor with a “free hugs” sign and yelling RAW at people telling them I loved them in dinosaur...
I cringe at the thought of it, what was I even thinking. I would literally punch someone in the face if someone did that to me now.
26.) From RubeNation:
I was not (and currently am not) attractive. However, I was in middle school when the pop the collar, wear a random ass tie around your neck for no reason phase was super popular. I wear cargo shorts and MN twins T shirts, EXCLUSIVELY at this time.
I showed up to school wearing a untucked, button down shirt, hollister t shirt, american eagle shoes, and a random ass tie around my neck.
Girl I had a crush on approaches me before I even get to my locker and says "lookin good Scott!"
I open my locker, look in my mirror, sigh, and took off the tie. Never wore that Sh*t ever again. it was a shameful day, but one that I am still proud of in the end
27.) From ConneryFTW:
Is self-righteous a phase? I was utterly convinced that because I did volunteer work, that I was a good person. Despite my behavior being generally douchey and not particularly nice. It ebbed eventually. Luckily being a douchebag doesn't have as much picture evidence as some of the other phases.
28.) From _spooky_spooks:
Being a “Scene Kid”... but don’t you DARE call mea scene kid, because ~labels are for soup cans~ (but also please I’m so desperately trying to be scene and acknowledge that, just not out loud).
RAWR XD
29.) From mastiffmad:
Bandana tied around head with knot at the front. Was reallllll into Tupac but nobody told me I was a white boy from a rural farm community. Oy.
30.) From drewlopan:
Mid-90srudeboy ska. Long, plaid skater shorts, dress shirt and suit jacket, dumb hat, skank circles.
31.) From blublablublu:
The depressing poetry. I was 14 and that was deep.
32.) From InfinitePizzazz:
I went through a "white-pride" phase in middle school in the 1990s. It lasted about two months.
I was hanging out with a group of normal kids who slowly became racist, and then white supremacist, and I went along. I guess I was socially racist. Cringe doesn't even begin to describe it.
Fun fact: Of that group, two are now dead and the rest married people of other ethnicities.
33.) From jonahvsthewhale:
Video game addiction that caused me to miss out on some potentially good memories and fed into my social anxiety. As an example, a cute girl in my Precal class was like "Jonah, who are you asking to homecoming?? I may just go with friends unless someone asks me...." While I'm sitting there thinking about Knights of the Old Republic or something.
"Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going."
-Phyllis Diller
If your angelic newborn babies turned into cracked out little demons who drive you up the wall, congratulations, you're a parent. These hilarious parenting memes will make you laugh, and make you realize you love those little nightmares.
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Everything you loved in your childhood—except for the hope you had for the future—is coming back! Disney+, the upcoming streaming service from the Mouse media conglomerate, is reviving Lizzie McGuire, and they provided a sneak peek.
The official Disney+ Instagram shared this picture of Hilary Duff schlepping an alpaca in Manhattan's Washington Square Park. As the voice of the millennial generation, Lizzie and her cartoon self are likely overworked and underpaid at a job she is creatively unfulfilled by but because of the economy and automation, she can't complain because she feels happy just to have a job at all.
Duff shared a better look at her outfit, which is this incredible leather coat that I am extremely jealous of.
The whole McGuire family is coming back, including the mom, the dad, and the brother whose names you've forgotten but you definitely recognize in this picture. We still have no word on the whereabouts of Miranda and Gordo, but the McGuires are all in.
The hype is real, as nostalgic fans are singing "This is What Dreams Are Made Of."
Have you ever seen such a beautiful sight?
In 2019 it seems like most couples met on Tinder, Grindr, OKCupid or whatever app they happened to both swipe right on that day, which doesn't make for the most romantic "meet-cute" story. But apps are not the only unromantic way people are finding love. Someone recently asked people on Reddit who "do NOT" have a romantic "how we first met" stories to share how they met their significant others.
If you're single, maybe it's just because you're not going to enough orgies, threesomes, or psych wards!
1.) From tj_xraybanvision:
My folks met when they ran for cover in the same spot during a drive-by shooting
2.) From edjuaro:
Salvadoran here: a whole bunch of people from my parents generation have similar stories. When your country is undergoing a civil war, it turns out that a lot of people meet covering from bullets...
3.) From chocolate_turtles:
I don't remember meeting my husband. I was a freshman in high school and it was during band camp. I got a text from him one night and pretended to know who he was because I was too embarrassed that I didn't know everyone's names yet.
4.) From MiaKica:
I met my wife in 1989, in psychiatric hospital. Married for 29 years now...
5.) From demonardvark:
I was the DD for the night at the local club. It was getting late and everyone wanted to party more, I was getting hungry. Outside the club this guy always had his hot dog cart set up so I went outside to get a couple. The club didn't allow outside food or drink so I just sat on the curb. She came out drunk as a skunk with her friends, took a few steps then puked on me, my hot dogs got ruined too :( Her friends really weren't in any condition to drive either so I called an uber and asked him to let me know they got home safe. She called the next day incredibly apologic and asked to make it up to me. She showed up to the restaurant with a new shirt and a pack of franks, laughed hysterically, got talking and here we are. I always say she had a very unique method of picking me
6.) From strangedigital:
Have same first name and last names one letter off. Keep getting each other's mail.
7.) From Andwhy99:
Met my gf at a new years eve party. We were both super drunk. I may have blurted out my life story too. I came back with her to her apartment. After sobering up, I decided to get naked and crawl into her bath tub. I passed out, but woke up with a blanket on me and a pillow under my head...
She sent me a message asking if I was ok. I asked her out for coffee. The rest is history I guess
8.) From onlysane1:
Met at a homeless shelter. We hit it off, got back on our feet, got a place together, getting married.
9.) From Empty_Insight
My late wife and I met in a psych hospital, so same general situation. She and I were the 'big crazy' in the non-violent population, so we got to talking and she gave me her phone number to hit her up if I wanted to talk or get pizza. I thought she was really cool, so I was definitely down. Turns out she had a huge crush on me since our first conversation but I'm stupid and had no clue. I thought she just wanted to be friends.
I ended up inviting her over to stay with me because of her living situation at that moment, and I figured it would be cool to hang out with her. Of course, being that I had been unknowingly teasing her about sex (again, I seriously had no idea) for the last two weeks, she wanted dick, and she wanted it bad. Bare DD titties can be quite persuasive, so we ended up doing the do and both being rather surprised at how natural everything felt with us being intimate. So yeah, we eventually ended up getting married.
But the best part about this story that saps all romance is that she had a borderline stalkerish obsession with me. She wrote erotica about me in the psych ward (like fanfic, but a step up), and after we got engaged told me it was the first time we had sex (two weeks after we met) that sealed the deal for her on wanting to spend the rest of her life with me. I wasn't exactly surprised, after all we did meet in a psych ward.
10.) From firefairyqueen:
He was drunk. An acquaintance and I went to pick him and another friend up to go out to a club. We've been together almost 15 and 1/2 years married 13.
Even his proposal was not very romantic. We were in our backyard getting ready to barbecue and he asked me if I would marry him. First thing out of my mouth was "are you sure?"
It totally works for us though.
11.) From abunchofsquirrels:
My wife and I met on OKCupid. I used to feel kind of embarrassed about this until I realized that now there are married couples out there who met on Tinder.
Who knows -- in a few more years Tinder will probably seem old-fashioned, and all the young people will be meeting up on FindASetOfGenitals .com.
12.) From canterw00t:
"now there are married couples out there who met on Tinder"
Can confirm.
Our wedding invitation said 'swipe right'. Also I am not embarrassed in the least; we found love. Doesn't matter how.
13.) From Pepelucifer:
Not me but one of my friends told me about how their parents knew a couple who found each other around the bin truck
So basically one day a guy went to take back his metal can from the street but there was a big problem. The garbage worker had accidentally made a tear in the bin bag and ripped it open, spreading shits everywhere on the pavement. So next week the upset man waited for the same workers to show up to get some explanations.
Turns out that garbage worker was in fact a woman of the same age (which was really rare in those times, 70s-80s). Charmed by her uniqueness, the dude decided to share numbers. They dated and we all know the rest
Not the nicest way to meet someone if you ask me hahah but quite a nice story
14.) From BetterOffAsADolphin:
She tripped on the gutter. While everyone around her helped her, I just stood there trying to contain my laugh.
She still tells this story to other people up to this day.
15.) From BigBill58:
Added my wife on Facebook 11 years ago because I thought she was hot. She popped up in a friend's pictures and I was like "damn, nice" and now I wake up in the same bed as her and I say "Damn, nice" every single day.
16.) From Buwaro:
She first met me while dating my best friend and I was with another girl at the time.
Years later, my best friend convinced me to hang out with her, called her up and invited her to Buffalo Wild Wings where he and I were hanging out.
Since we had both already eaten, we walked across the parking lot to a bar. I played darts with friends wile drinking and talking to her a bit, then after the bar closed, we went back to our cars, started making out, decided there wasn't enough room inside, and fucked with her bent over the hood of my car in Buffalo Wild Wings parking lot at 4am. It was a magical night we'll tell our grandchildren about one day.
17.) From Saintblack:
At work. She was really shy and I thought she wanted to murder me.
I still think that, but at least now she has my life insurance.
18.) From HicSunctLeones:
Me and my husband met in a threesome I had with an ex (I did open relationships at the time). The sexual chemistry between us was very obvious from the jump, and over the years we became best friends that had an on-again-off-again sexual friendship whenever we were both single.
8 years later, we both found ourselves single again and finally admitted that we were ridiculously in-love with each other. Been together and happily monogamous ever since.
19.) From qwertykitty:
We both joined a group to play D&D together. He was a halfling rogue, I was a human barbarian. In the first session he climbed on my shoulders to spear some foe in the throat and then on my next turn I attempted to assist him up onto the roof of the small hut next to us. I rolled a natural 1 and basically punted him into a wall for some ridiculous amount of damage. Oops.
We've been married for 5 years and have 2 kids (well, almost, I'm very pregnant right now).
20.) From CrazyCatLadyBoy:
Craigslist.
I was new in town, didn't know many people. I put an ad up looking for someone to go explore and do weird shit - like put googly eyes on things.
She answered, we emailed back and forth a few times. Met. Hung out. It was really relaxed. Then about 3 weeks later we realized it was more than that.
21.) From shygirlturnedsassy:
My partner and I don't have a typically "romantic" story but we do have a hot one.
I first saw him at a friend's birthday party. We talked for a bit but nothing happened as I had a flight to catch.
We met again, months later in a different continent, at a sex party. We locked eyes, recognized each other and fucked like insatiable beasts.
Been together for 3 years.
22.) From Dez_Champs:
I met my wife at an orgy. Well, she was leaving an orgy, and we bumped into each other on the street. Real meet cute.
Navigating the social politics of elementary school is tougher than it looks.
A mom asked Reddit for advice on whether she'd be an a-hole for excluding a boy with autism from her daughter's pool party, after her daughter cried and said the boy doesn't respect her personal space.
The back story: her daughter's turning seven and having a pool party to celebrate. Mom was going to invite the whole class — but her daughter stopped her.
There’s one student “Jason” who has autism and is in her class for the first time this year. She said she didn’t want to invite him.
She’s been saying every few weeks since school started that Jason is weird or bothers her or makes her uncomfortable.
Whenever she brought it up we’d discuss accepting peoples differences and interpreting Jason’s behavior differently because he has a disability. Etc.
This was all fine, until the daughter came home crying one day because of Jason.
I asked what exactly he did that bothered her. Apparently since the start of the year he decided my daughter and a few other girls in class were his “girlfriends” and follows them around very closely (like inches away) and gets frustrated when they ask for space. It had been escalating.
He’ll sit next to them and try to touch their hands or pull on their bags and move his seat near them and do all the same activities they are even after they’ve asked him to move and not touch them.
When it happened the teacher told them to play with other people/disperse but he’d eventually come back.
The teacher knows this has been bothering the girls, but nothing much has changed.
My daughter told me that she’s scared around him and doesn’t want him at her birthday party because she’d spend the whole time worrying where Jason was.
The girl's dad tried to encourage her to accept Jason's actions, but the daughter was confused.
My husband started to tell her these behaviors weren’t his fault so she needed to include him because he couldn’t help it and was well intentioned, trying to be her friend. She said “But you always said no one was allowed touch me if I didn’t want them to, no matter what.”
Mom soon realized that her daughter was making a good point.
And I realized, she’s right about that. I decided I needed to carefully handle this critical moment in my daughter’s developing perception of bodily autonomy.
I worried I was setting a dangerous precedent by saying “let someone invade your personal space in a way that scares you, just to spare their feelings.”
She called Jason's mom, who was frustrated.
I called Jason’s mom and explained my daughter is having a pool party at the YMCA and because of the ongoing dynamic between them I’d like her to stay in the pool so she can step in if he starts to bother my daughter.
She said she couldn’t swim well and wouldn’t want to make her son feel like the odd one out who needed a babysitter.
They tried to negotiate for a solution that would allow Jason to attend the party, but to no avail.
I said then I’d prefer you bring him for the cake and pizza portion only as it’s an easier space for us to manage all the kids.
So she starts talking about how many birthday activities her son is excluded from and one quote stuck out “If you just taught your kids compassion for what my son struggles with every day, they could set aside being his social awkwardness long enough to actually get to know him.“
Now she's worried if excluding the boy would make her a bad person.
I’ve been struggling with the decision ever since. I never thought we’d be “that” family who didn’t invite the special needs child. AITA?
The people of the internet are actually mostly siding with the mom. HilariousInHindsight pointed out an important distinction: the birthday girl's discomfort is the issue.
She's not excluding him because he's different. She's excluding him because he makes her uncomfortable, and she's very justified in feeling uncomfortable. Him having autism doesn't mean that she has to tolerate those behaviors, and it's especially important for girls to learn young that under no circumstances do they need to put up with people touching them, being aggressive or violating their personal space, and that they're allowed to draw lines and say no.
DoffyTrash, who works with special needs students, agreed:
Respecting someone's differences does not mean allowing them to disrespect your boundaries. Your daughter has attempted to set an appropriate boundary with this child and instead of supporting her and helping him learn, the adults in his life are enabling him. They are setting him up for failure later in life.
Many, including bassbby12, believe Jason's mother isn't helping him.
This would be the perfect time for his mom to teach him about boundaries, and instead she turns it on you not teaching your kids “compassion.” That’s so sad.
And aarnalthea pointed out that Jason's mom could be more compassionate:
She needs to be compassionate herself towards OP's daughter and her perspective of the situation. It's pretty hypocritical for Jason's mom to be preaching stuff like that without treating it as a universal rule
Some, like cashiousconvertious99, went as far as to say the mom actually is the a-hole — for not doing something about Jason's behavior sooner.
This kid is touching your daughter, and her friends, and the authority figures surrounding her: you and your husband, her teachers, and other adults are treating it as a nuisance at best and something she should be shamed for not bearing at worst.
You and your husband have taken a virtue like tolerance and twisted it into enabling behavior.
Anyway, hope the daughter's birthday party goes okay...
It's a storyline straight out of "Real Housewives of New Jersey" — well, if any of the NJ housewives were actually rich enough to buy an Hermès bag.
Garden State grande dame Maryana Beyder is suing Alpine Country Club to replace her $12,000 Birkin bag — and add damages, totaling $30,000 — after a waiter dropped wine all over the pricey accessory.
The Hermès Birkin is one of the most expensive handbags in human history and most people have to sign up for a waiting list to get one. You might remember it from a story arc on "Sex and the City," or from the time Kanye West allowed his daughter North to destroy one in the name of Kim's birthday. A Birkin is the handbag equivalent of a Maybach, basically.
And Maryana Beyder's got wine all over it! The alleged crime went down at Alpine Country Club in Demarest, NJ, last year. According to NJ.com:
In the suit, Beyder said she was dining at the club with her husband on Sept. 7, 2018 when a waiter, identified only as John Doe, spilled red wine “all over” her, as well as her husband and her light pink Hermes bag valued at $30,000.
Beyder and the club — which, as you can see below, looks like five or six McMansions have been taped together in anticipation of a proletariat uprising — have been engaged in a détente, after she tried to recoup the funds from the club's insurance company to no avail.
The waiter who did the spilling hasn't been named, but Beyder's lawyer, Alexandra Errico, talked smack about his pouring skills to Page Six:
“Whoever the waiter was proceeded to pour red wine and didn’t stop,” Errico said. “Poured it all over her. Poured it all over her husband. And poured it all over a very expensive Hermès bag.”
Errico also floated the idea that Beyder was being "discriminated against" for being rich:
“They couldn’t comprehend that a bag could be that much,” Errico said. “They kind of discriminated against her that she actually owned that type of bag.”
She added, “It’s sort of like a rich person problem.”
Gee, ya think?
Beyder also reportedly filed a suit against the waiter specifically, according to NJ.com.
Online commenters are split on the issue. One person wondered how it was possible to get that much wine all over the place, asking, "Spilled the wine on her, her husband and her bag? What was he doing, spraying wine with a fire hose?"
Another had an idea for a different solution:
"The country club should 'tax' each member an equal share to reimburse her for her loss. She very well might become a social outcast as a result. What happens when she wears her $100k pair of custom Italian leather shoes to the annual gala, and breaks a heal on the crack in the pavement?"
Another drew a comparison to fancy cars, asking, "Why so much vitriol for the cost of her bag? Do people get this angry when a Lambo or Bentley is in an accident?"
Many are sticking up for Beyder, with one person saying, "They damaged her property. They should pay. It doesn’t matter if it were an accident. I don’t get the hostility."
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