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5 people having a worse Monday than you.

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5. Lorde, because her dog died, so she's delaying her next album.

Bless the Lorde.

Popstar Lorde, who was Billie Eilish before Billie Eilish was Billie Eilish, announced to subscribers from her newsletter that she was working on another album. That was exciting, however, in the same email, she announced that her album was going to be delayed because she is mourning the loss of her beloved dog, Pearl.

Lorde adopted Pearl in 2018, and he "brought an immeasurable amount of joy and purpose into my world." Her dog enriched her life and gave her "huge amounts of energy [she] can only describe as divine," and she sought to express her feelings in her next album. But then he got sick.

"Pearl had two cardiac arrests about an hour apart, and after the second one, he died," Lorde wrote to her fans. "I was holding him when he went, and I know he knew that I was there. But this loss has been indescribably painful, and a light that was turned on for me has gone out...it won’t be the same work — as anyone who has felt loss can understand, there’s a door that opens that you step through, and everything is different on the other side."

Singer-songwriters often do their best work when they're dealing with loss (just ask Adele!). It's going to be a great album.


4. Donald Trump, because he lost one lawsuit and was hit with another. Oh, and he got booed again.

Time to pucker up to the Supreme Court.

While the House of Representatives is looking into the president's actions to try and cheat at the 2020 election, prosecutors in New York are looking at his (successful) efforts to cheat the 2016 one.

The Manhattan District Attorney is investigating the hush-money payments Trump made to porn stars, and today, a federal appeals court rejected Trump's plea to shield his tax records from scrutiny.

Last week, Trump's private attorney argued in court that a sitting president couldn't be investigate, even if he actually did shoot someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue. The 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals did not find that argument convincing, and ordered Trump to hand over his tax return, as all recent presidents did during their campaigns.

The case is almost certain to go to the Supreme Court, which sounds depressing because it is packed with conservatives like a Vineyard Vines store. SCOTUS, however, has ruled against this president before, so there's still a chance they won't rule that Trump is king thou shalt not scrutinize.

The battle over the secret tax facts is just one of Trump's many legal troubles at this very moment.

E. Jean Carroll, the writer who accused Trump of raping her in a Bergdorf Goodman dressing room in the 90s, is suing him for defamation.

"I am filing this on behalf of every woman who has ever been harassed, assaulted, silenced, or spoken up only to be shamed, fired, ridiculed and belittled," Carroll said in a statement. "No person in this country should be above the law – including the president."

Carroll is not alone—more than a dozen women have accused him of sexual assault.

Of all the problems he faces, the one that likely consumes him the most is the fact that he was booed by people at a UFC event on Saturday, his second awkward encounter with civilians in a week.

The sentient balls of hair grease known as Don Jr. and Eric Trump insisted that the boos you are hearing are not real, and that the Fake News is pushing Fake Boos.

Is it possible that a large stadium like Madison Square Garden had different people making different sounds? Or is that too nuanced a take for these times?


3. The New Zealander who accidentally bought 1,000 hens.

It sounds like the name of an old folk tale.

Do you know anybody in New Zealand who wants between one and one thousand chickens?

When Steve Morrow from Hamilton, New Zealand entered an auction on the website Trade Me, he thought that he was bidding on only one bird. But when he won the auction, the seller told him to multiply by 1,000.

The seller told local site Stuffthat his ad clearly stated that it was for the 1,000 hens (also known as 2,000 chicken wings), and "it's pretty bloody hard to get that wrong."

Morrow is owning up to his mistake, putting up a social media to help find homes for the hens. He told stuff that he has already found homes for 700 of them, and that he will take 20 himself.

"The reaction on social media has been tremendous and overwhelming. I put out that post because I really want to see the birds live. The ad was worded a bit confusing but I'm happy the birds are safe," he said.

The timing couldn't be better: New Zealander Lorde is in the market for a new pet.


2. Pamela Anderson, because she got backlash for wearing a racist Halloween costume.

Why wear a racist costume when you can just wear nothing?

Is it really Halloween—or any day, for that matter—if a celebrity doesn't wear something insensitive?

Congratulations to Pamela Anderson, the model and activist who, despite successfully shutting down Meghan McCain with a speech on US imperialism, was insensitive about the United States' very first violent war.

Anderson wore a Native American headdress as a costume, and it was not well received.

Come on, Pamela. You can't get away with being a racist idiot anymore, unless you're a Republican.

She should have followed the lead of hundreds of women around the world and just dressed up as Pamela Anderson.


1. The Florida Man who plead guilty to sawing off the nose of an endangered fish.

"If they don't want us to saw it then why is it called a sawfish?"

This week, the Florida Man of the Week Award goes to Jacksonville man Chad Ponce, who faces a year in prison and a $50,000 fine for messing with the wrong species.

Ponce plead guilty to killing the endangered sawfish by introducing it to its namesake when he was fishing off the coast of Ponte Verde Beach.

Next time you go fishing, be sure to you don't kill anything endangered, or you'll endanger yourself.


Guests furious after bride cancels wedding but keeps donation money to spend on honeymoon.

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You really can't blame someone for cancelling their wedding. But you can blame them for canceling their wedding but keeping all of the donations people gave them to help fund that wedding—and putting the money towards their honeymoon instead. And yet....a couple did just that. Understandably, their friends and family are pissed.

A couple shared in a Facebook post that they would be cancelling their wedding—which is less than a month away—and keeping the (more than) $30,000 their friends and family donated to their "money fund."

The bride assured people "not to worry" because all of the money would be put to good use—towards the couple's honeymoon. She added that they would be accepting more donations when they reschedule their wedding for a later date. Screenshots of the post went viral on Reddit, where people are dragging the couple for their shockingly entitled breach of wedding etiquette.

I mean, sure, the wedding industrial complex allows you to squeeze your friends and family for all they're worth in the name of "celebrating" your legal union—but at least those people are supposed to be able to get an open bar and/or a dance party out of it. If you take the actual wedding out of the equation, "bride and groom" become "grifter and grifter."

Here's the post, by a bride named Pam:

Remote file

If you're outraged by this couple's entitlement, you're not alone. Friends and family were furious and made their feelings known, loud and clear, in the comments.

A family member of the groom wrote:

Is this a fucking joke??? After raking in $30k you decide to be greedy and use it all for yourselves?

A friend of the bride wrote:

Pam what did I tell you about day drinking. In all seriousness, is the wedding really cancelled? I've already gotten the time off for Dec. 1 which is less than a month away

And another friend of the bride wrote:

alright step the fuck back. WHAT?

Then the bride responded:

All, please calm down. You're making me feel very attacked and hanged (ED: ganged?) up on. You chose to DONATE to ME. If I want to use the money, who cares how? I told you the wedding is getting rescheduled not cancelled.

Guests aren't the only people dragging the bride and groom. Reddit commenters are adding their 2 cents.

Hammer_Jackson writes:

I love how someone can claim being distressed or “attacked” and all of a sudden they are the victim in a scenario.

The scary thing is I doubt she realizes it’s ridiculous, and instead she believes she’s being appropriate and reasonable.

And undercoverbrova points out:

They did not choose to DONATE to HER, they chose to DONATE to a WEDDING. In which ALL could enjoy. TF kind of thought process is this?!

TypicalPrototype4 was left (almost) speechless:

I'm actually speechless. Spending 30k on a honeymoon for a wedding that got cancelled? Wooooow

And SerrateAndDominate has some news about what a "honeymoon" means:

Somebody should break the news to her: it ain’t a honeymoon if there isn’t a wedding

desenagrator_2 adds:

Yeah that's just called a vacation lmao

Are these two even a couple? Or just a couple of scammers who figured out a way to get their friends and family to fund their insanely overpriced vacation? You almost have to respect their ballsiness for thinking they could get away with this—unless you were invited to this wedding and donated money to them. In that case you have every right to drag them to the money-grubbing Hell from whence they came.

23 Memes For Anyone Who's Not Already Celebrating Christmas.

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Some of you have been celebrating Christmas since the clock struck midnight on Halloween. How could you just ignore Thanksgiving after all of delicious the food comas it's put you in over the years? Shake my head. For the purists who wait until after the turkey's been digested to deck the halls, these memes are for you.

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23 teachers share the most NSFW incidents they've witnessed at school.

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Actually teaching stuff is just a tip of the iceberg in terms of what teachers are required to do. In addition to educating future adults, they have to keep a bunch of often-hormonal young people from behaving inappropriately at school, which can result in some severely uncomfortable situations for everyone involved.

In a Reddit thread, these 23 teachers shared stories of the most NSFW (Not Safe For Work) things that they've seen at work. These stories are about as cringe-worthy as you can imagine.

I've said it before and I'll say it again—we should pay teachers more. A LOT more. Because these 23 teachers deserve to drink top shelf champagne on a yacht.

To quote one of these teachers, "this is about to get weird."

1.) From Zakkana:

Former College Faculty Here... the worst one I have experienced was being in the bathroom while some guy was having phone sex... while he was taking a crap. To this day I am amazed that I was able to not laugh.

2.) From PonchoWizard:

I had a substitute once who told us about his experience at a "not so well funded" school.

He was walking down the hall when he saw a line a for the boys bathroom which is an immediate red flag cuz idk about you guys but I've never seen a line for a boys bathroom.

Turns out a girl was giving blowjobs in the stall for the low low price of a dollar a piece.

3.) From whpalmer:

School policy is if you vomit you have to go home. Girl had detention after school and I had her last period. She vommed all over her book deliberately so she wouldn't have to go to detention.

It.................. Did not work.

4.) From axxxxxxxk:

School camp for 14-15 year olds, walk in on a girl giving a guy a handjob with about 4 other guys just sitting around watching

5.) From Noregsnoride:

Kids would Airdrop naked pics to whoever had theirs turned on. After teachers getting a bunch of pictures we had a huge school investigation. (I taught 7th and 8th grade).

Edit: A lot of people asked and I wasn’t specific I guess, the pics were either of themselves or of other kids who I would assume sent them in confidence and then they got distributed.

6.) From dude_who_could:

One of my mom's students would masterbate in class. Had her feet up on the desk and everything. It was second grade.

7.) From drunkbabydinosaur:

Walked into the restroom one day and caught a 6th grade girl giving an 8th grade boy a blowjob.

8.) From Mister_M00N:

A few years back, a teacher at my school had sexy pics taken for her husband, and wanted to email them to him. She scanned them on a printer at work, and uploaded them to a shared public directory, thinking she was uploading them to a private folder (which I still don’t know why she thought this was a good idea). Needless to say it didn’t take long for someone to find her pics on the shared directory

9.) From grysong:

Used to be a teacher for a year, but this story is relatively tame compared to some of the things I'm reading here.

One day I was giving a test, walking in between the students, some girl sitting in the last row. Everyone was bent over to fill in the test, but every time I walked behind the last row, it appeared as if that girl had pulled her pants lower and lower, up until the point she was nearly sitting on the chair with her bare cheeks.

Of course I had to tell her it was inappropriate, at which point she had to BUTTON UP HER PANTS AGAIN in order for them to stay up.

Very strange thing to comment on, I can tell you that.

10.) From _Not_Bruce_Wayne_:

Preschool teacher here, and this is about to get weird

One thing kids have in common is they reach an age where the mysteries of their bodies become incredibly fascinating. One aspect of this is when little boys realize they get erections. YES if you're not a parent or a teacher, little boys get erections, even infants do.

One time when I was teaching 4-5 year olds one little boy was taking way too long in the bathroom. The door went 3/4ths of the way to the ceiling so teachers could monitor, and when I peeked into the bathroom I found one of our little boys exploring himself.

By this I mean he was using his little boner to push the bathroom stall door open, letting it swing back, then pushing it open again.

Kids are fucking weird

11.) From Chezzica:

Had a four year old tell me the myriad of ways he'd like to kill me. Shoot me with gun till I'm dead, put me in fire until I'm dead, etc. Then he tried to push a shelf over on a sleeping child. Fun times.

12.) From Toren8002:

I teach middle school literature and theater. First year of teaching, after a rehearsal when I thought all my students had been picked up, went back to the stage to collect a few things.

Walked in on two 8th graders getting super touchy-feely. Guy had gotten her shirt off and was working on removing her bra.

Not sure who was more embarrassed: me or the kids. Turned my back, told them to get dressed and get to the front doors. Immediately called both families. Both were pretty cool with it, all things considered. Worst part was, about 3 minutes into the conversation with the girl's father -- he realized I'd seen her without a shirt on.

Don't think I made eye contact with either one of them for the rest of the year.

13.) From xilog:

A pair of year 10 going at it doggy style in a secluded stairwell.

14.) From DerpyTheCow47:

I teach group music lessons. One group consists of five 9-year-old girls who are learning the flute. While one of them was in the bathroom, another grabbed her flute, held it to her posterior and farted on it. She placed it back on the table and muttered, 'That's what she gets for wearing a hat indoors

15.) From eroticpineapple:

I was a student in high school and in my junior year we had a substitute shit himself. I felt bad for the guy but it brought much joy to my heart because the chair he shit himself in belonged to my old history teacher who we later found out was a pedophile.

16.) From noamhashbrowns:

As a camp counselor I had to separate two boys about 8 years old having a “sword fight” in the bathroom....... Needless to say I was the one who needed to talk to someone after that

17.) From Being_a_Mitch:

I worked IT at a school. Had a laptop come in that "suddenly" stopped working for no reason. In a surprise to no one, the inside was filled with sticky brown soda residue. Got the motherboard replaced at a shop, powered it on, aaaaaand horse porn. With a lot of search history to go along with it. I considered my job done and just handed it to the principle and was on my way.

18.) From kwid:

Using an office chair to aim his anus true battleshits style. Thankfully the chamber was empty, but the puckering and pulsing as he tried will scar me forever

19.) From ClaptonBug:

I was a science teacher in a boys boarding school. The school was located in a very cold region and so some kids would skip showers. Once I was on duty and I had to go inspect the boys dorms, I noticed a really awful smell coming off one kid, I reported him to his house master so he can get him to shower, long story short at some point it came to light that the kid had developed gangre around his private parts and in his feet. It fell on me as the teacher on duty to take him to the hospital, on further inspection the kid was found to also have bed bugs so I had to be scrubbed down too and shave my hair bald for being close to him and the health inspection office also got involved with the school and the school basically closed for 4weeks PS the school had hot water showers for students but not in the teachers quarters so all the teachers showered with cold water, this kid really had no excuse.

20.) From N3rdM0n:

Not a teacher, but multiple times this emo girl was caught jacking off her boyfriend. Whether it be in the lunchroom, the classroom, the bathroom, etc. She always was jacking him off. I walked in on them doing this, but they didn’t notice me. I left the room as soon as I saw them. Last I heard the girl got expelled and the guy got off scot free.

21.) From Karreck:

Back when I was a long term substitute, I walked into the backstage area of the theater and interupted two students having sex on couch we used for the show the previous week. Turned around and walked out saying "You have two minutes to get dressed and get on stage". I didnt report them to Admin, but I gave them a talk about appropriate time and place. I then had the couch moved into storage.

23.) From LordOfLightOW:

Not a teacher, but I once saw a female student giving head to a boy on a football field...which she then vomited all over.

23.) From Bells87:

Former teacher.

Had a three year old scream at me during nap time that I was a "Fucking bitch".

I mean, I am, but no need to be so blunt about it.

Radio host mocked for calling 'boomer' the 'n-word of ageism.'

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Kids these days are so sensitive, they have no idea how to take a joke. And by "kids these days" I mean the people who say "kids these days," also known as Boomers.

The New York Times recently published a report on a popular phrase among Generation Z, "Ok boomer," which teens have been using to brush off the unfair criticisms of the generation that actually had everything handed to them.

"'Ok boomer' has become Generation Z’s endlessly repeated retort to the problem of older people who just don’t get it, a rallying cry for millions of fed up kids," Taylor Lorenz wrote in The Times. "Teenagers use it to reply to cringey YouTube videos, Donald Trump tweets, and basically any person over 30 who says something condescending about young people — and the issues that matter to them."

As the prophecy foretold, old people can dish out the condescencion, but they can't take it.

A now-deleted tweet from talk radio host Bob Lonsberry went as far as comparing "boomer" to the n-world, which is quite the take.

People from every generation united to dunk on this dude, and "Boomer" quickly started trending.

People ribbed on Baby Boomers for acting like total snowflakes.

They also riffed on the N-word comparison.

People also flooded Lonsberry's other bad takes with "ok boomer."

"Boomer" isn't just an age, it's a worldview. You don't need to have been born between 1946 and 1964 to be a boomer, you just need to be extremely condescending and argue with young people in bad faith.

People are applauding Keanu Reeves for dating an 'age-appropriate' woman.

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Until yesterday, the bar for famous men was three inches above the floor. Today, thanks to Keanu Reeves, it's risen to about four, if you're keeping track.

Keanu just revealed he's dating a woman who's over 30. In fact, she's over 40. This is such a rarity for a Hollywood actor, people are freaking out about it.

The star of "Point Break," 55, appeared on the red carpet for the fancy LACMA Art + Film Gala presented by Gucci in Los Angeles with Alexandra Grant, 46, yesterday.

Keanu is one of the internet's most treasured men, so this unveiling of his new relationship is a big deal.

Alexandra Grant is an artist who's intelligent, articulate, super smiley and most importantly, over the age of 30.

She's also collaborated with Keanu for years, according to People:

The two have been friends and collaborators for years. Grant has previously worked with Reeves on his 2011 book Ode to Happiness. It was their first collaboration, which was followed by 2016’s Shadows, which was also written by Reeves with illustrations by Grant.

The pair has also founded X Artists’ Books, a publishing house which they established in 2017.

Here she is talking about her feminist artwork. Swoonsville!

She's now dating the internet's boyfriend — and the internet fully supports it.

Some thought Keanu was dating Helen Mirren.

Let's keep in mind these two aren't even the same age. She's nearly a decade younger than him, in fact.

Still, he's being praised for dating someone who's not, in fact, young enough to be his daughter.

He's also drawing comparisons to Leonardo DiCaprio, who exclusively dates models under 25.

Congrats to the happy couple!

12 red flags to watch for when picking a therapist, according to therapists

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Therapists might require a lot of schooling to get where they are — but they're only human, and humans are imperfect. And some therapists can do more harm than good.

A Reddit user asked the therapists of the internet to spill the red flags we should all be looking out for when trying to find a therapist. Here are the top warning signs that your therapist might not be the best for you. Don't be afraid to move on if your mental health practitioner seems a little sketchy.

1. Distracted therapists are no good.

"Therapist checks for messages during session" is a red flag, according to Reddit user quaintrelle.

2. Surprisingly, a lot of therapists will bring up their own religion during sessions. This is a flaming red flag.

"Therapist pushes their own religious views on their client (it's a stupid mistake, but it's common)," quaintrelle says. User copperpanner confirmed that this is a thing:

Tried going to a therapist during university. During the first visit she asked about my religious beliefs and scoffed when I told her I didn't find any of the arguments for god(s) convincing. And then she implied that was a cause of my difficulties. Needless to say, I didn't go back.

3. A therapist without a waiting list might be a bad sign.

If they can get you in immediately, it may mean they don't have many clients. This could either mean they are very new or not a very good therapist. Could also mean they had a cancellation...so do some research. - The_Head_Shrinker

4. Allowing you to vent without coming up with any plans for helping you improve.

Not helping you define goals to move forward. Some therapists are happy to take your money and just let you bitch about life for an hour - and while that might be a relief for you, it's only going to help long term if there are actionable steps taken that are agreed upon by you and your therapist. (This is the "work" of therapy and most important, but also when many people drop out). - The_Head_Shrinker

5. Offering concrete answers instead of perspective can be a bad sign.

If they immediately try to present you with answers to all of your problems - not lead you to your own solutions. There is a major distinction there. - Ejgee

6. For very specific types of therapy, a lack of awareness surrounding triggers can be a red flag.

My role is a little different as I am a trauma based/ short term crisis therapist, meaning I just help stabilize my clients to where they can be transferred to a lower level of care. To me warning flags are:

no risk assessment

no crisis planning

no exploring triggers

no plan to help you cope when faced with a trigger (especially important when triggered in/ out of session) - rubyred138

7. An overview of timelines and patient rights should be de rigueur.

no timeline for treatment

no discussion about your rights as a patient

too much advice giving (I call this could've should've would've people)

also giving advice about anything outside of their scope of practice (medical treatment, religious practices, legal issues, etc)

in family/ couples sessions specially, any Therapist who acts like a referee to determine who is right or wrong - rubyred138

8. Personal opinions and judgments should be absent from the therapist's office.

Not keeping professional boundaries, like sharing personal information about themselves. Giving you direct advice about a serious decision (like a breakup), expressing their personal opinion strongly. Any sign of judging your decisions, opinions or feelings. - tylenna

9. A therapist who consistently minimizes your negative feelings might not help you process them.

If they start most of their responses with "at least" and then try to put a silver lining on it instead of honoring your pain and what you shared with them. - Ninjatheclick

10. Failing to recommend multiple forms of treatment can be a red flag.

The big three are as follows: talking about themselves in a way that is too detailed or detracts the attention and focus from you. Advice giving, we are not here to tell you what to do. Not referring you on when an issue is out of their competency. For example, attempting to treat LGBTQ issues without training or skills with that particular population. - StillOnAMountain

11. Simply not clicking with your therapist's personality can be a red flag.

If their personality is a clash with yours or their modality doesn't work for you, it's fine to find someone else, Hell, it's expected.

This is kind of my own personal style showing in a way, but I'm of the opinion that if every session the therapist is talking more than the client, there's something very wrong. It's a little normal for them to interrupt you to focus on something you said here and there, or direct you if you lose your way, but if they're yammering on and you can't even talk about what you wanted to, I'd say that's a pretty big red flag for me. That said, I'd still say give it a couple sessions before deciding on that, because the first session can often mean a lot of information gathering, so they have to touch on a lot of things. - ararebeast

12. Any therapist who thinks they know your life better than you do should probably be avoided.

I think there is a misconception that advice giving is what is most helpful. Therapists don't often give advice but rather they offer alternative perspectives and create space for a collaborative approach to explore new ways of overcoming obstacles. We, as therapists, shouldn't ever assume we know what is best for a client to do. It is their life. If you have a therapist telling you what to do, I would have to assume there is a unhealthy power dynamic occurring which can have a variety of negative outcomes. - sahcratik

The bottom line is when it comes to therapists, there are plenty of fish in the sea and you don't ever have to feel bad about leaving one that doesn't work for you.

25 Memes To Help You Start Your Morning Off With A Laugh.

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It's really annoying that we're expected to get out of bed every single day. Who approved that system? If you hate mornings with a fiery passion, you're not alone. That's why we compiled this list of randomly hilarious memes to help you start your day with a big ole chuckle.

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15 people share the most expensive mistakes they've made so far this year.

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Losing money definitely isn't fun.

Unless you put aside a certain amount to gamble on your Vegas vacation, losing money isn't a particularly exciting activity. Sometimes it can be a devastating and life-changing loss, sometimes it's a silly mistake that you can shrug off as "it's only money." After all, we're the only animals on Earth that put so much value in a completely made up currency...

Remember, if you even mess up at your job and cost yourself and your company a massive amount--there's probably someone out there who has made a far worse mistake. When a recent Reddit user asked the wild world of the internet "What was your most expensive f*ck up?" regretful people were prepared to chime in. Get ready to feel better about any of the financial nightmares you've caused. Accidentally flushing a $100 tip down the toilet at your restaurant job was no big deal, right guys? RIGHT?

1. Oh my god, "CandyWhitelow."

i work at a company that handles PHI (personal health info). I work in the mail room stuffing those packets. i stuffed two peoples PHIs in one packet and the company ended up getting sued for 1.2 million.

2. $190 is such a specific amount, "twizzlescam."

A few months ago i bought a $190 visa gift card at family dollar, only to drop it into a manhole on my way home.

3. TRAGEDY! "Kether_Nefesh."

Bought $200.00 worth of wine for a party - left it under the bottom of the cart because it was raining... went home... realized there was no wine... went back to store... wine was gone. Bought $200.00 worth of more wine :-(.

4. Sad! "Pumpkinbread717Fan."

I was engaged in June. I was no longer engaged in September. Whole lot of money down the drain.

5. Divorce is expensive, "shadowbruiser."

I just got my new social security card and driver's license and changed my name legally after getting married last November. Guess who's getting divorced and needs to change their name again? This girl.

6. Poor pups, "UnanticipatedRacism."

I left a nearly full box of Raisin Bran on the kitchen table, left to hang out with a friend. Came back home to find that between my three dogs, they’d ripped into and eaten all of it.

Just now paid off the $3,000 vet bill, finally. All the dogs survived.

7. This is hell, "SharkDuck1011."

Doing 400$ worth of food shopping then getting into a car accident which destroyed the food in my trunk, had to get the car fixed and do food shopping again

8. College is a scam! "Moonhunter3."

Finished school that I paid out of pocket for, went into my internship, and absolutely hated the field. Decided im going back to school for something else.

9. Never trust Instagram sales, "TakeThatTae."

Paid 100$ for something from these stupid instagram fashion shops, never received it, and they never returned my money.

10. That friend owes you, "beachboy7."

Spent $50 one night on Ubers to and from the club and the entry fee, just to leave after 15 minutes because my friend got bounced for being stupid. That was a quiet ride home.

11. So sad, "SlenDman402."

Reserving a hotel room by central park for the current day instead of in a month when I actually needed it. You can't cancel with less than 48 hours notice. Cost me $220

12. You have to be careful on rooftops! "sticky_dicksnot."

Fell off a roof and cut my finger, cost $1200 for stitches at the hospital.

13. Watch out for pigs, "FlatLandsRedneck."

On my drive to work at 5am on a Saturday morning, I hit a pig. Apparently the department of conservation calls them "wild boars" but let's get real, it's a better story to call it a pig. Fucked my car up pretty good, discovered that full coverage doesn't always include rental reimbursement. All in all Babe cost me $1529. That's lost pay, the rental and the deductible. I get the car back tomorrow. Shit I'm glad this is almost over.

I guess I didn't really cause the fuck up because you can't control animals, but I sure do feel like I caused it.

14. This is a real bummer, "drdroofus2019."

This is my friends. She was at a party (college freshman first month) some dude came up to her and was like “wanna make money, let me transfer my bitcoin into your Venmo and you can keep $100” she doesn’t know shit about shit and she was drunk so she let him. He transferred $880 from each card on her account (hers and she has no idea who the other card belongs to, not her parents or anything). Can’t report it because she doesn’t have the bank account number or anything but the guys Snapchat.

15. Damn, "niftyifty."

I decided to move my dresser without taking the tv off the top. Good bye Sony 55" hello new Sony 55".

15 'ok, boomer' tweets that poke fun at the battle of the generations.

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Baby boomers are waging war on millennials and Gen Z over the "ok, boomer" meme.

The meme was originally created by Gen Z (born 1996-2010) but millennials are getting blamed for it, because well, millennials get blamed for a lot...

The "Ok, boomer" meme pokes fun at the "Karens" of the boomer generation who constantly finding something to "go off" about. Sure, boomers had healthcare and social security and job security within a stable economy, but let's blame the younger generations for not "pulling themselves up by the bootstraps" enough? Millennials and Gen Z'ers are constantly being pegged as overly sensitive, but the boomer reaction to these two words is alarmingly sensitive as well...

Will the generations ever get along?

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Man tweets that women prefer 'losers' to 'providers' and people are calling him a loser.

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If anyone can speak on behalf of all women and provide insight into what women want and need, it's a dude on the internet.

Twitter user @vickers_stephen went viral with his hot take about what women are missing: a beefy dude who gets the beef.

He tweeted a rundown on what is certainly his Tinder bio and captured everyone's imagination with his specifics.

"My housing is paid for. I make a good salary," he wrote. If you're not impressed yet, gird your loins because here's where things get irresistible:

I get health insurance, 401k, 700 lbs of beef a year, and I live on a couple hundred acres. I’m a puncher by trade with a bachelors degree.

Beef Man is shocked that the pounds of meat have failed to attract a lady, and he insists that "women would rather have a loser than a provider. It's sad."

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman must be in want of 700 pounds of beef, right?

The tweet looks like one of those targeted ads you get on Facebook.

Women pointed out that there's more to marriage than just meat, and that they can provide for themselves.

The marriage-for-beef "debate" kicked off a conversation about what women do, in fact, want.

Beef Man is taking his viral status in stride, insisting that he is not a sexist, he just wants to see that his cowgirl is fed.

Now that's how you squash a beef.

Beautician responds to customer who won't hire her after seeing Instagram pics with LGBTQ friends.

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A text conversation between a beautician named Pam and a homophobic customer is the perfect example of a homophobic getting brutally owned. We absolutely love to see it! In the texts, which were shared on Reddit, the customer informs her beautician she will no longer be going to her for eyelash extensions because of the woman's association with the "wrong crowd." Imagine thinking someone is not qualified to glue longer eyelashes onto your eyelashes because of the gender of the people their friends have sex with. Homophobes: nothing like us!

Pam responds by shutting the homophobe down with a stunningly perfect retort. And then, when the customer follows up to demand she keep her final appointment, Pam shuts her down again. It's a sight to behold.

The exchange began when the customer saw the beautician's photos on social media which showed her surrounded by the "wrong crowd." As a Mormon who is "very involved with the church," the woman says her beautician's involvement with the LGBTQ community makes her "very uncomfortable" and she can no longer keep going to her for her eyelash extensions.

The text reads:

Hi Pam. I've been meaning to reach out to you about something that has been making me uneasy. I noticed you tag yourself in your own post sometimes on your lash page so I went to it and I noticed that you surround yourself with the wrong crowd. I told my daughter and she said she already knew because she follows your accounts. As you know, I am very involved with the church and it makes me extremely uncomfortable to be getting services by someone who is deeply involved with the gay community. I can no longer keep coming to you for my eyelash extensions and it's so sad that it's because of your choice of actions. I cannot give my money to you it would be against what I and my husband believe in. Maybe when you mature I could come back to you.

The beautician's response is the epitome of a classy shut-down.

Pam says she has "no shame" about her choice to have LGBTQ friends who she loves "so much" and that she wants all of her clients to feel "safe" regardless of their race, sexual identity or religion. Therefore she "respects" the homophobe's decision to take her business elsewhere.

Her text reads:

Hi [homophobic lady] I can certainly appreciate how you feel. As you are allowed to have an opinion so am I. I am actually not surrounding myself with the "wrong crowd". They are my friends and I love them so much and if I chose to show that love publicly that is a choice I've made and I have no shame. I am aware about where you stand with the church and I've respected that and I've respected everyone in the church as well. I want my clients whether they are white, black, green, blue, rainbow, catholic, Mormon, gay, trans or whatever their heart desires they want to be to feel safe with me and my environment. So if not coming to me makes you feel safe then I respect that. Also I know you think I'm 28 and I'm actually 21, so that says a lot about my maturity. Have a good day!

But that's not the end of their interaction.

The woman follows up, with a great deal of nerve, to say that she still wants to keep her last appointment.

But I'm still wanting to keep my appointment for the 1st of November.

Pam, once again, swiftly shut her down:

I'm sorry but you already said you can no longer come to me. And in order to keep this a safe environment for everyone including yourself I think it's best to refer you to someone else.

[Picks up megaphone] HOMOPHOBE DOWN.

You can see the entire exchange here:

Remote file

In these situations it can be tempting to go into attack mode—I personally would've given this woman a piece of my mind in a far less eloquent way. But a respectful, thoughtful response has a greater chance of getting the message across in a way that might actually change or open someone's mind. So kudos to patient Pam.

And ultimately, homophobia is a sad. Not only is she missing out on eyelash extensions from Pam—she is missing out on the LGBTQ community and their contributions to society. This woman has probably never even seen an episode of Queer Eye. What a sad way to live.

25 Memes For Anyone Who's Already Decorating For Christmas.

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"Christmas isn't a season. It's a feeling."

-Edna Ferber

The above quote is useful to use on anyone who tries to tell you November is too early for Christmas music and decorations. The haters and Scrooges in your life can back off. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

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18 hiring managers share the worst things people have done to screw up job interviews.

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No question job interviews are stressful: the pressure is high, the palms are sweaty, the tags are rustling around inside the jacket you'll return tomorrow. It's nearly impossible to not make a single mistake while trying to convince people to help you pay your rent in return for your time and soul. But there are certain no-no's we all know to avoid—well, not all of us, apparently.

Hiring managers and people who have been responsible for hiring new employees are sharing their most "WTF moments" from job interviews. Here are 18 stories about potential employees who messed up interviews in hilarious and horrifying ways—but, hey, at least they made an impression!

1.) From blatentpoetry:

Hiring for a Senior Dev position. Had a telephone interview and she seemed confident and competent so I flew her down for an on site interview. She calls not me but the front desk reception and says she can’t drive in a big city and needs a car to pick her up and she refuses to get the rental car we reserved (before Uber/Lyft). Call is transferred to me and I tell her to take the train (Atlanta, MARTA) no, she says, too scary. I tell her to go to the taxi stand and take that, nope afraid of taxis. She wants a corp limo to pick her up and nothing else will do. She is adamant. I put her on hold, have a chat with my boss who says just send her home, shes too much work if she can’t even handle this. I tell her thank you for taking the time to fly down but not even our own VPs get that treatment and to go ahead and change your ticket to fly home, now. She then starts telling me she will take a taxi, etc. i said please don’t bother it will be a waste of everyone’s time, thank you, goodbye.

Not once when setting up her travel plans did she say she needed assistance getting from the airport. It was explained to her she would pick up a rental car at the airport. She was fine with it. No idea WTF she was thinking but ain’t nobody got time for dat nonsense!

2.) From xantyrn:

I was preforming a video interview with a candidate. They were clearly in a large room/bedroom, with most of it visible in the background, but it was clean so I didn't mind. In the back right corner was a closed door. About 7 minutes into the interview I see the door open slightly and some dude poke his head in, see that his roommate/girlfriend was in an interview then close the door. Not a big deal, it happens. I ask my next question and let the candidate respond. But then, about 30 seconds later I see the door slowly open again, only this time the dude comes crawling out the bottom. He continues to crawl across the floor making his way to the opposite side of the room. I assume he thought he was out of the cameras FOV, but he was clearly visible. He gets to the far end of the room and turns to fiddle with something ass in the air facing the camera. Finally, he finishes up with whatever he was doing and makes is way back and out the door.

I know I should have stopped the candidate and had her deal with the dude, but it was so funny to watch I had to let it play out. I could barely contain my laughter and after the interview finished I lost it. She got the job though, and from what I remember was a great employee.

3.) From accidentalhorse:

She cried three times during the interview about how much she hated her current job. My coworker had to get up and grab a box of tissues for her. When she finally calmed down, she informed us that she'll need a special desk chair due to an injury she sustained at her current job, and yes, she did have a workers compensation court case against said job and she hoped to "win big". No one had said anything about hiring her, she just made an assumption that she got the job I guess.

The icing on the cake was that she was interviewing for a workers compensation job, at a firm where we only represent employers, never injured people. While that doesn't influence hiring decisions, talking at length about her current case against her boss was just a weird thing to bring up. That and crying...

4.) From Safraninflare:

I hire student (university) workers. One of my questions is “Tell me about a time at work where you made a mistake, and how you fixed it.”

This kid had no prior work experience, so I modified the question to remove the “at work” part. I thought he’d tell me about fucking up at school or at home and no. He told me about the time where he ripped his pants in gym class in the fourth grade. He didn’t tell me how he fixed the situation either, so I’m assuming his pants are ripped to this day.

This kid was a goldmine of what not to do in an interview, tbh. He did not get the job.

5.) From ejsandstrom:

We have a very simple “pre-employment” test. If you have been in our industry for more than a year you should get 100%. Some times we even give it as an “at home” test.

We had one guy that took his test home had it for over a week. He brought it to the formal interview and got 90% of the questions wrong. Even though according to his resume he was an all star and knew everything.

He had an excuse for every wrong answer to even the most widely known questions in our industry.

It would be the equivalent of saying you have been laying sod for 20 years, and then put the green side down.

He didn’t get the job.

6.) From BuffelBek:

Obligatory not a hiring manager, but I still had to interview some candidates.

Some of the walls in the office were painted a vague brownish colour. Partway during the interview this guy starts looking around with a really spaced out look and says: "This office really reminds me of a cardboard box. But not in a bad way. Like the kind of box that you put things in, you know?"

He then decided that he didn't want the job and left before the interview was over.

7.) From Sharkattackr:

The strangest ever was a man telling us all about his mom’s Alzheimer’s, talking crap about our company, and getting upset we didn’t offer him the position on the spot. It was a wild ride beginning to end.

8.) From DefinitelyYoda:

To start the interview, I asked him to tell us (3 people) a little bit about himself.

35 minutes later, he stopped talking. Usually people answer this question in 1-5 minutes. It was incredibly awkward and I was tempted to interrupt him but then truly wanted to see how long he would go.

9.) From Saddoo:

I was interviewing for a salesperson position. I asked all the candidates to tell a joke, just to see their storytelling skills. This guy told a joke that included swallowing semen, puking and gang rape. It was so out of place!

10.) From lovelanguage_sarcasm:

When she listed all of her ex boyfriends that currently worked there, and said she couldn’t wait to see the look on their faces when she showed up to work. This was in the first 3 minutes of the interview so I wasn’t even close to offering the job yet. I cut the interview right there and sent her on her way.

11.) From refreshing_username:

In a case study interview, I prefaced everything by saying "Look, this case is designed to see how you break a problem down and analyze it. I won't give you enough information up front to solve it right away. You'll have to ask questions to get more information. The final answer is important, but more important is you showing me your analytical process. This might take 15 to 30 minutes."

Candidate then listened to the 30-second exposition of the case study, which as promised did not include enough information to solve it.

Her immediate response was "I think the answer is X." I asked why she thought so, and she said "that's just what my judgment tells me." I asked if she could quantify how she came up with X, but she just pointed back to judgment and intuition.

My pen went down, I leaned back in my chair, and I wondered how to politely bring the interview to an immediate close.

12.) From tittyelf:

I did a phone interview with a guy and he seemed really excited and very friendly. He seemed to be relatively new to the field, but we were willing to give him a chance. I invited him to come in for an in-person interview. My manager and I were doing this second interview, and when I called him in, he gave me a huge hug and proceeded to talk to me like I was his best friend. As a 27 year old woman, I was incredibly uncomfortable and froze up. At the end of the interview, we told him we would reach out to him within the next couple of weeks to let him know the outcome.

After the interview, my manager asked if I knew him, and I said I definitely did not. His interview was not great either, and he was not a good fit for the job. My manager was the one who had to call him to let him know he didn't get the job. However, he proceeded to call my phone every day that week and left me long voice mails. Most of the times he'd ask about his interview, but sometimes he'd say things like "Hey girl! How are things going? I was thinking, if I get hired we should hang out!". It freaked me out, and I had my manager call him early to give him the news that he did not get the job. The calls did not stop, and I just kept deleting his voice mails without listening. My manager and I were so disturbed by his persistence that we went to HR for help, and they must have done something because the calls stopped after that.

13.) From BoopThisIsMySam:

On a team hiring to replace our Regional Manager. This guy...he was really good, but he kept bringing up his vacation in the Finger Lakes. Like, every 4 sentences. "Just making sure the Finger Lakes thing is okay". I mean, for real?

14.) From gmabarrett:

Had a candidate who came in and said how hot my admin was and asked if she was single or “open to freaky Fridays”

15.) From fievelm:

Hiring IT:

Candidate seemed a bit off to start with. He made a lot of claims about experience in the field, like "writing apps for companies" but couldn't name a single programming language, couldn't explain DHCP or DNS, etc.

I could tell it was going nowhere and just decided to pad the interview with some casual questions and asked him why he had moved to our state from California.

That's when it happened. It was like he had this speech geared and ready to go. He started ranting about the snowflakes in California that couldn't handle his opinions, went on a political tirade and claimed the liberals drove him out of the state. How happy he was to be with like minded folks "like us", etc etc.

I sent him back to reception to turn his guest badge in, and 10 mins later our CFO calls me direct and says "You will not hire that man.". Apparently the receptionist wasn't at her desk, so he wandered to the CFO's office. She was on the phone so he stood in her doorway and stared at her for 5mins while she was on the phone.

Oh, and the kicker is that my state is one of the most liberal in the country. We haven't had a Republican governor since the 70's. We were the 1st to legalize marijuana for crying out loud.

16.) ​​​​​​​From Boxman75:

I set up an interview for an acquaintance's nephew with a company looking to hire 30 college students for summer work. The nephew's major and the line of work this company performed seemed to mesh perfectly, and I knew the hiring manager personally, so it seemed like a great fit.

A couple weeks later the acquaintance emails asking about the job. So I hit up my hiring manager friend and the conversation went something like this.

Me - Hey how'd the round of hiring go?

HR - Great, needed to fill 30 spaces and only had to do 31 interviews to fill them.

Me - Oh cool, so was Paul X one of them?

HR - Oh him, yeah well... uhh.. he was naked during the interview so we declined.

Me - What?!?! Are you serious? I find it hard to believe he would show up to an interview nude.

HR - Well it was a skype interview, and when we brought up his video feed he was laying in bed nude.

Me - Oh, well maybe he thought you couldn't see him. Maybe he thought it was just an audio meeting.

HR - We told him we could see him and he said "sorry" then covered up with a sheet. We asked if he wanted to reschedule and he said no he was good. So yeah we decided to pass.

Sorry Paul.

17.) From UnexpectedBrisket:

Asked a (male) applicant about a few specific projects he'd done with people I've met. His comments about male collaborators were perfectly normal and respectful. His comments about female collaborators were dismissive, condescending, and inappropriately familiar.

I know there are lots of sexist people out there, but... not being able to conceal it for a 30-minute interview?

18.) From cutlassandclean:

Not a hiring manager exactly but have been with the company long enough that they let me run the occasional interview for the delivery drivers that work under me. There was a guy who came in and already seemed off when asking for an application. They handed him one because why not and he came back the next day and handed it back filled out, minimally. Then kept asking "So when is my interview?" They just told them they would call him when they figured it out but after ghosting him for a couple days he began calling up everyday asking when he could come in for an interview. They said I should just sit down with him and tell him we aren't hiring and we will let him know if anything changes. So I sat down in a booth and waited for this guy to come in, then I see through the window him getting out of his car, in our work uniform. See we give you all that stuff your first day and he hasn't even had an interview. He comes in and sits down opposite me and we exchange pleasantries and he asks me if I like his uniform, I say yeah but question who gave it to him and he tells me he made it. I ask him why he made a uniform if we give him a few and he told me it was because we hadn't given him one, he also started being very rude after this question so I guess I hurt his feelings. I told him what I was supposed to tell him but he also didn't have a functioning car but 2 days a week and somehow wanted full time hours so I denied him for that reason but yeah definitely strange at the least.

Men and women are reacting differently to Emma Watson declaring herself 'self-partnered.'

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Stars: they're just like us! They feel pressure to couple up by the age of thirty, because society still expects women to couple off and build a home in order to be valuable!

Emma Watson is on the cover of British Vogue promoting the new Little Women adaptation written and directed by Greta Gerwig. Watson has already been roasted on the internet for her terrible American accent, and now Twitter is having fun with a weird phrase she made up.

The magazine asked the former child star about her "dreams," and she lamented the immense pressure she feels to "get her life together" before she turns 30 in April, but she's happy being single:

“I never believed the whole ‘I’m happy single’ spiel,” she continues. “I was like, ‘This is totally spiel.’ It took me a long time, but I’m very happy [being single]. I call it being self-partnered.”

"Self-partnered"?

The quote makes more sense it context, but it is more fun to make fun of the phrase like it's a woo woo invention from somebody like Gwenyth Paltrow or Marianne Williamson.

Many people (mostly dudes) laughed at the weird phrase.

Other people (mostly women), had more nuanced takes, and were grateful to have a new way of talking to their relatives at Thanksgiving.

The takeaway isn't the phrase—it's the fact that she felt the need to coin it. She's literally a Disney Princess! She's frickin' Hermione Granger! She went to an Ivy League school! If that's not success, then what is?

Is there hope for any of us? Being a woman rules!


23 Memes Men Probably Won't Find That Funny.

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"I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships."

– Gilda Radner

Bros may not find these memes too funny, but who really gives a rip? These jokes will be funny and relatable as hell to any woman who needs a laugh today.

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Couple overheard discussing if they can change unborn baby's gender and people are mocking them.

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Some stories tred the fine line between hilarious and horrifying—and this is one of them. An expectant couple's conversation in an antenatal (equivalent to "prenatal") clinic was overheard by a pregnant doctor, who was so shocked that she texted it to her friend. The friend uploaded their convo to Reddit, where commenters are roasting the couple for their spectacular combination of ignorance and bigotry.

The couple, who are expecting a girl but wanted a boy, were overheard discussing if they could ask the doctor for "hormones" that would change the baby's gender in the womb. To make matters worse, they were hesitant to do this for fear that it would "make the baby gay."

Here are the text messages detailing the conversation:

Remote file

Reddit commenters are responding with a mixture of horror, confusion and amusement.

badassmamabear writes:

Doesn't sound like they even know what caused the pregnancy in the first place! SMH!!!

NotStreamerNinja asks an astute question:

What’s wrong with people?

While Captin_Banana hypothesizes an answer:

Poor education or too much Jesus would be my guess.

QuitYourBullshit- also has a question, with an unfortunate answer:

Is it too late to tell these people they're legally not allowed to reproduce?

And RiflemanLax adds:

Almost as stupid as those people who wonder ‘whether they’ll be an aunt or an uncle?’

nedeta makes an important point:

Proof that sex Ed has failed

ParmesanOnMyRatsAss writes:

I remember having this conversation with my friends. In fourth grade!

And WoxyBoxy pretty much sums it up:

Dumb AND homophobic.

In conclusion: we're all doomed.

Woman's story about period tracker telling advertisers she's pregnant shows how we have no privacy.

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We live a lot of our lives on our phones. You probably found this very article on Facebook and are reading it on your phone right now!

Don't be afraid, but you are being watched by corporations hoping to sell you stuff, and they're tracking your (and your uterus's!) every move.

Talia Shadwell, a reporter for The Daily Mirror, went viral on Twitter explaining the suspicious reason Facebook started flooding her with pregnancy and baby-related ads, even though she wasn't pregnant.

As Shadwell writes, it's "insight into how big tech navigates women’s bodies," and if you're a woman with a body, it's helpful to know.

At first she was confused, but then she cracked the case.

When she logged in her period, the ads stopped.

There are multiple reasons why this spycraft is troubling.

Shadwell wrote about this experience for The Daily Mirror, cleverly calling the period tracking app "Big Mother." It is always watching.

This is scary stuff. My uterus is a libertarian, and is firmly against government and big tech intervention.

Eminem allegedly says he 'sides with Chris Brown' in leaked verse about Rihanna assault.

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Rapper Eminem can allegedly be heard saying, "I side with Chris Brown" in a leaked rap verse — and that's not even the worst part.

The verse was intended for the song "Things Get Worse" (appropriate title!) with fellow rapper B.o.B. It first popped up on Reddit but appears to have been taken down, and is now making the rounds on Twitter.

In the verse, he says he'd side with Chris Brown and "beat a b*tch down" if she "gave [his] d*ck" either an itch or an inch, it's unclear. Genius is quoting the verse thusly:

Let me add my two cents
Of course I side with Chris Brown
I’d beat a bitch down, too
If she gave my dick an itch, now
It’s just ridiculous how

Fans assume Eminem is referring to an incident in 2009 when Chris Brown assaulted then-girlfriend Rihanna.

In the same unreleased verse, Eminem also rapped about murdering Dakota Fanning, according to Genius:

Kick down Dakota Fanning’s front door while the whore is tanning
(“He can’t say whore”), of course he can, man he just saw her fanny
Then murdered her while he danced around the room and wore her panties

Guess he's not a big "I Am Sam" fan.

People are pointing out that the song "Things Get Worse" came out in 2009, just two years before he and Rihanna collaborated on the song "Love the Way You Lie," which is about domestic abuse. They're also saying it was recorded even earlier, in 2007.

Others point out that during this time, Eminem was battling drug addiction. They're implying that this verse shouldn't be taken too seriously.

And then there's the fact that Eminem's music has always been heavy on the violence against women (oh, and gay people, and once in a while himself).

And it's true. Remember when a track where he slut-shamed Christina Aguilera was the biggest song of the year in 2000 and no one even cared? Good times.

By the way, don't hold your breath for Rihanna to comment on this. Her fans are doing a good job of commenting for her, though:

It's also worth noting that this unreleased verse wasnot released— so maybe even Eminem felt it went too far.

Either way, it's clear that nowadays when a man jokes about violence against women, people take it way more seriously than they did 20 years ago.

12 hiring managers describe job interview moments that made them say, 'WTF?'

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There are some odd people in the world. And odd people need to work too!

That's why so many hiring managers have cringeworthy WTF stories to tell about their time interviewing candidates for jobs.

A Reddit user asked the bosses and hiring managers of the internet to detail which job interviews made them say, "WTF is wrong with this person?"

1. This lady decided to play corporate word jumble.

I interviewed a gal once and while we were talking, I was looking over her resume'. (Please note that English IS her first language or else this wouldn't have humored me so much) Her "mission statement" on her resume' was as follows:

"Along with my detail oriented and organizational skills, I will bring encourage team to work cooperatively and creativity to provide an understanding the visual aspects of our work."

This was for an admin position at a law firm. Not sure what "the visual aspects of our work" entailed in this position, honestly. I read it over about 5 or 6 times, worried that I was having a stroke so I didn't really hear much of anything she said during the interview. I haven't been able to make sense of it no matter how many times I read it. I actually cut it out of her resume' and have it sitting on my desk some 15 years later. - mattweb94

2. Maybe this guy just really likes Linday Lohan movies?

Had a candidate who came in and said how hot my admin was and asked if she was single or “open to freaky Fridays” - gmabarrett

3. If you're gonna stretch the truth on your résumé, you need to keep stretching it during the interview.

Me: I see you managed a vegetarian restaurant.

Interviewee: What?

M: It says here you managed a vegetarian restaurant.

I: Oh, I guess I did write that. Not really though. My girlfriend had an art exhibition, and I organized the sandwiches for the opening. They were vegetarian.

This was a candidate that was otherwise pretty impressive seeming, and had been among the favorites for a quite sought after position, the interview had even gone quite well up until this point. Met him later at a party, he had no memory of me. - squirrel_exceptions

4. Well it's not like he was handling food then and there.

This kid, probably 18-20, started picking his nose, like nuckle deep and digging for gold in the middle of his food service job interview.

Wrapped that up real quick and didn't hire him. - tactics14

5. Honestly, this sounds like a great way to get a free flight to another city.

Hiring for a Senior Dev position. Had a telephone interview and she seemed confident and competent so I flew her down for an on site interview. She calls not me but the front desk reception and says she can’t drive in a big city and needs a car to pick her up and she refuses to get the rental car we reserved (before Uber/Lyft). Call is transferred to me and I tell her to take the train (Atlanta, MARTA) no, she says, too scary. I tell her to go to the taxi stand and take that, nope afraid of taxis. She wants a corp limo to pick her up and nothing else will do. She is adamant. I put her on hold, have a chat with my boss who says just send her home, shes too much work if she can’t even handle this. I tell her thank you for taking the time to fly down but not even our own VPs get that treatment and to go ahead and change your ticket to fly home, now. She then starts telling me she will take a taxi, etc. i said please don’t bother it will be a waste of everyone’s time, thank you, goodbye.

Not once when setting up her travel plans did she say she needed assistance getting from the airport. It was explained to her she would pick up a rental car at the airport. She was fine with it. No idea WTF she was thinking but ain’t nobody got time for dat nonsense! - blatentpoetry

6. This lady sounds like fun, I'm sorry.

When she listed all of her ex boyfriends that currently worked there, and said she couldn’t wait to see the look on their faces when she showed up to work. This was in the first 3 minutes of the interview so I wasn’t even close to offering the job yet. I cut the interview right there and sent her on her way. - lovelanguage_sarcasm

7. So does this guy. What's wrong with pink satin?!

We had a short-listed candidate come for a campus interview. This usually includes meeting with the dean, a long interview with the full hiring committee, a formal meeting with the department chair, dinner with the hiring committee, a formal "job talk" (1 hour academic lecture), teaching a sample undergrad course, and meeting some students, as well as a campus tour.

During the job talk, he kept flashing the pink satin liner of his suit jacket in the direction of one of our openly-gay grad students. Everyone noticed.

Later, he proceeded to get trashed during the meet/greet with the students at a local bar and confided all of the dirt about his current department and overshared the status of his rocky relationship with a grad student back at his home university (a big no-no, even though it happens sometimes).

The next morning sealed the big fat no. A grad student usually volunteers (and is compensated) to drive the candidate back to the airport. This person kept trying to persuade the openly-gay grad student to drive him instead, even though another student (female) already had the task assigned to her.

He didn't get an offer. - periphrazein

8. This is a job interview, not ChatRoulette!

I set up an interview for an acquaintance's nephew with a company looking to hire 30 college students for summer work. The nephew's major and the line of work this company performed seemed to mesh perfectly, and I knew the hiring manager personally, so it seemed like a great fit.

A couple weeks later the acquaintance emails asking about the job. So I hit up my hiring manager friend and the conversation went something like this.

Me - Hey how'd the round of hiring go?

HR - Great, needed to fill 30 spaces and only had to do 31 interviews to fill them.

Me - Oh cool, so was Paul X one of them?

HR - Oh him, yeah well... uhh.. he was naked during the interview so we declined.

Me - What?!?! Are you serious? I find it hard to believe he would show up to an interview nude.

HR - Well it was a skype interview, and when we brought up his video feed he was laying in bed nude.

Me - Oh, well maybe he thought you couldn't see him. Maybe he thought it was just an audio meeting.

HR - We told him we could see him and he said "sorry" then covered up with a sheet. We asked if he wanted to reschedule and he said no he was good. So yeah we decided to pass.

Sorry Paul. - Boxman75

9. Sometimes an interviewee's life gets derailed by a stomach bug.

Not a manager, but I was the interviewee. I wasn’t feeling well that morning but I had an interview with a super cool science museum as a promotions event coordinator. It would have been the perfect job. I decided to go anyways. As I drove to the interview, I felt horrible. When I went inside I was feeling worse. I was asked to sit and wait for the hiring manager to come get me. When she finally did I knew I had made a mistake in coming. I got up and followed her across the whole museum and up 2 flights of stairs. It felt like it was 120 degrees in there. And finally as we were walking toward her office and she reached for the door handle, my stomach let go. I barely made it to the trash can right next to me and proceeded to vomit for a good 2 minutes. Even dry heaving a few times. When I was finished I looked up and she had her back to me with her head in her hands like she was trying to hold it together. I said I was sorry and I hope she had a better day than me and I turned around and left. Man that would have been a fun job. - FightingForBacon

10. When in doubt, leave your mom's mental health out of job interviews.

The strangest ever was a man telling us all about his mom’s Alzheimer’s, talking crap about our company, and getting upset we didn’t offer him the position on the spot. It was a wild ride beginning to end. - Sharkattackr

11. Again, sounds like a great person to meet at a party.

back in College days, we were interviewing for a new college newspaper reporter. The question was "This position requires an energetic, inquisitive and outgoing person who can chase a story and get the facts, with that in mind how would you describe yourself?" The answer was "Uh, Fun?" … Care to elaborate on that? "No." - piercet_3dprint

12. At least this one has a happy ending.

I was preforming a video interview with a candidate. They were clearly in a large room/bedroom, with most of it visible in the background, but it was clean so I didn't mind. In the back right corner was a closed door. About 7 minutes into the interview I see the door open slightly and some dude poke his head in, see that his roommate/girlfriend was in an interview then close the door. Not a big deal, it happens. I ask my next question and let the candidate respond. But then, about 30 seconds later I see the door slowly open again, only this time the dude comes crawling out the bottom. He continues to crawl across the floor making his way to the opposite side of the room. I assume he thought he was out of the cameras FOV, but he was clearly visible. He gets to the far end of the room and turns to fiddle with something ass in the air facing the camera. Finally, he finishes up with whatever he was doing and makes is way back and out the door.

I know I should have stopped the candidate and had her deal with the dude, but it was so funny to watch I had to let it play out. I could barely contain my laughter and after the interview finished I lost it. She got the job though, and from what I remember was a great employee. - xantyrn

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