In an ideal world, marriage is about committing to a future with someone you love.

Whether that future means having children together, traveling the world or just having someone with similar movie and restaurant interests to support your goals and share your life--the foundation of the institution of marriage is love. However, being with the same person forever (even when you love them more than anyone) comes with a few challenges. Not every day is spent with fireworks and passionate kissing in the pouring rain. Finding someone who brightens up the mundane, everyday grind of your routine is critical.

Even though marriage takes compromise, work, and constant communication, having fun is key! If you add kids to the mix, chaos ensues pretty fast. Luckily, laughing about the chaos and remembering there's always someone else out there who feels your struggle can get you through.

Here are the funniest tweets about marriage we could find:

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Unlike bookstore meet-cutes and dramatic runs through the airport, marriage pacts are something that don't just exist in romantic comedies.

A Reddit thread asked, "Who here has actually married their 'Let’s get married if we’re still single by 40' person, and what’s the story?"

Whether a marriage of convenience or a rekindled romance, a pinky-promise of a pact is an interesting path to a Happily Ever After, even if the theme of the wedding is "settling."

1. Like every great love story, Kdj2j2's proposal was over Instant Messenger:

The age was 30. Friends through high school and went to college apart. Using IM one night (yes almost 20 years ago), we were chatting. She’d just had a bad break up and I was striking out. I said let’s get married if we’re single at thirty.

She posted on Facebook that she’s single one week after her birthday. My birthday was a week later and I sent, “Gee, we’re supposed to get married soon. We better go in a date.” Married seven years and one kid so far.

2. shorthomology has the added benefit of marrying for love.

A friend made this proposition to me several years ago. I said, "No, even if I'm still alone I will only marry for love." About a decade later we got married. Things are good and we didn't even have to wait until we turned 40.

3. Movie buddies make the best life partners, shadattack.

My wife and I went to high school together and never dated. We were movie buddies and I had a little crush on her, we did make out one time at a party. I was a year ahead of her, and right before I graduated we made a pact to marry each other if we were single in the distant future, can't remember what that date was, but... Fast forward 20 years. We reconnected on social media and 2 years later we were married. About 5 years later we were going through some boxes and I found a "cheesecake" photo of her from 1987 with a note written on the back saying how she can't wait until our wedding day. We had both forgotten about the pact until we found the picture, Then about six months ago, my parents cleaned out their attic and gave me a box full of stuff they saved. Inside was a note from my ex in high school and in the ramblings of teenage angst she mentioned that she had a vision of "my now wife" and I together. Odd for an ex to say but we had a good laugh about that. Tomorrow is our 12th anniversary. Thanks for letting us walk down memory lane for our anniversary.

4. sblade77 and her husband got their act together thanks to geography.

I had this agreement with a good friend who lived across the country (be each other's fall back plan when I turned 30). Whenever we were both single, we would be on the phone basically all day. However, when one or both of us was dating someone we would fall out of close contact. This went on for a few years.

After a bad breakup for me, he said that he was coming to my part of the country for Christmas to visit family and that maybe we should not date other people between now (September) and then. After that, there was no question of not being together even before he actually arrived at Christmas. That was almost 15 years ago. This year is our tenth wedding anniversary and we have two boys.

5. skeletaldecay got her happy ending, and video games are included.

We're not married yet! (Mainly because of financial reasons.) But we agreed to get married when we turned 30. Both of us weren't in the best place and feeling hopeless and lonely.

It got us talking about our relationship, at the time just friends, in a serious context, and helped a lot with the blues we had been feeling. Turns out we really enjoy each other's company. We spent a lot of time on Skype while playing video games and texting while at work since we lived 12 hours apart at the time. He told me he loved me one day and I decided I loved him. Long distance for something like 8 months, living together nearly 4 years, and expecting our first child in June! Honestly, I would say our favorite thing is still hanging out together and playing video games, but on the couch together with our pets.

6. mattymattmatt77's story has a few (well, one) twists and turns.

Made this pact with my dear friend when we were pre-30. The attraction was always there it was just timing on why we never got together. I moved away and got married, then divorced (now 37). Four years later we take a road trip and fall in love. Not married, not sure if that’s what we want, but it’s the strongest bond I’ve ever had with someone.

7. MorphoFan's story is the least romantic of the bunch.

We met when I was 35 and he was about to turn 37. We got engaged after three months, broke it off, got re-engaged and finally got married the literal day before his 40th birthday, so he could say he got married before he turned 40. :-D

Jameela Jamil, star of The Good Place, is a woman with a huge platform and strong opinions. So, naturally, she is often at the center of controversy (a nice way of saying people won't leave her the F alone).

Her most recent controversy involved her response to a male stranger—with a baby in his profile pic—who asked her to "send nudes." So she put him on blast.

She also did what he asked—technically. But instead of sending her own nudes, she sent nude pics of two (unidentified) men.

"Don't ask me for nudes," she wrote ominously on Twitter, along with screenshots of the pics she sent.

If Jamil were less famous, it's likely that this hilarious interaction would've earned her a parade of "yassss queen"s and "LOL"s. To be fair, she did receive a fair amount of laughter and praise.

Most people, it seems, found the images a combination of funny and horrifying.

But many others found her response "problematic" for various reasons which they were quick to call her out for.

One person accused her of body-shaming and homophobia. In a since-deleted tweet, they wrote:

err yea this aint it jameela. Not only are you being a tad homophobic, but its incredibly hypocritical of you to basically bodyshame these men, after you've been on oh so many rants about the like. Just send them a newt photo or send their screenshots to their mums. not this.

Jameela responded to defend herself, claiming there is nothing "anti gay" about sending naked pics of a man to another man.

But her tweet still didn't sit right with some people.

This woman had more questions:

And Jameela had more answers, calling the men's poses "funny" and "iconic."

Others criticized Jamil on the grounds that the naked men in the photos did not "consent" to having their nudes put on blast.

Jameela had an answer to this, too:

This seems like a gray area. These men may have consented to having their nude pics posted online, but maybe not to having a huge celeb share them. And while Jameela Jamil gets more pushback online than the average Joe (and Joanne), maybe that's the nature of having a platform of over a million fans.

To avoid future controversy, many women shared their less problematic responses to men soliciting nudes. Feel free to borrow!

In conclusion: please treat your fellow internet-users with respect and don't solicit nudes, K?! Especially not to Jameela Jamil. She will come for you.

Being an introvert can be a struggle.

While some introverts are naturally shy and quiet, there are many introverted people who are outgoing, but just need to prioritize alone time for their mental health. If you're unclear about what it means to be an introvert versus an extrovert, it all has to do with how you relax, recharge and reset your energy. Like going out and meeting new friends in a crowded bar or club to unwind? Probably an extrovert. Need to sit and meditate while drinking tea and organizing your books alphabetically? Probably an introvert.

Introverts are often misunderstood to be antisocial and unfriendly, but just because you don't get the same relaxing out of going to a speed dating event doesn't mean you hate people. When #StupidQuestionsForIntroverts started trending on Twitter, introverts everywhere finally felt seen. Before you judge your friend for going to the movies alone and spending the whole weekend inside with their cat, give these hilarious introvert tweets a read.

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Since the internet is littered with wedding horror story portraits of brides and grooms gone mad, it's good to remember that most weddings are just fun parties celebrating love. There's food, there's (often) booze, there are pretty people wearing pretty outfits, and there are plentiful toasts from the married couple's closest pals.

While wedding speeches run the gamut from saccharine Hallmark-style gushing to awkward jokes couched in faux-hostility, the best ones manage to hit fresh funny notes the crowd won't soon forget.

In a popular Reddit thread, people share the funniest toasts they've heard at weddings and they range from NSFW to deeply embarrassing.

1. OP kicked off the thread.

The best man at my cousin's wedding was finishing up his speech, and stated "I'm sure they will enjoy their Honeymoon in Wales!" They were not going to Wales, so everyone looked at him confused and he turns to the groom and goes "What? You said you were going to banger' for a few weeks."

2. Moto341 was called by the name of his wife's ex.

"My wife's best friend/maid of honor called me the wrong name in her toast...the name she called out...my wife's ex-boyfriend.

I laughed it off at the time...but to be honest I was pretty humiliated."

3. Kbax witnessed a moment of unbridled horniness.

Best Man: "And now that you're a married man, I think we should make an agreement. I'll stop hitting on your sister if you'll stop hitting on my mom."

Groom shoots out of his seat and yells, "Not a chance in hell!"

4. doft saw Josh crush it.

"My sister got married in a small Canadian Mennonite community. The groom's best man, Josh, was black. Josh started off his speech by saying: "I'm Josh, the one you have been staring at all day." Everybody laughed so hard."

5. TwinkleTard's brother kept it honest.

"My brother was the best man at his friend's wedding. HIs quote at the end was, "I'd like to give you relationship advice, but what do I know? I'm single and have a cat."

6. krs_1 has a feeling the bride didn't love the toast.

"Ian said that if I did a good job tonight I could be the best man at his next wedding."

7. Luxowell appreciated the commitment of the key stunt.

"I shoot a lot of weddings, but the best one I heard was "Well she's moving in with Dave now, so it looks like all the ladies will have to give up their keys to your place."

Silence.

"Ladies...I'm not kidding...give them up." Every woman in the place gets up, walks to the head table, and drops a key in front of him. The last one was a very old family friend who, with her back to everyone, opens her blouse and flashes the guy. It ends up, she was wearing a shirt underneath that said: "Everyone thinks I'm flashing you right now."

8. watermelon101 appreciated the cocaine joke even no one else did.

My ex-brother-in-law opened with:

"I was nervous about this speech so I just prepared a few lines. After snorting them, I got to work with the writing," or words to that effect. I think I was the only person laughing.

9. JVM_ loved the role swap.

Bride and groom speech at the end of the night.

Bride gets teary-eyed talking about her mom...hands the speech paper to the groom.

Groom (reading the next line): I wish I could be half the wife and mother that you are.

10. Dovesongz saw a groom draw a line with cats.

This was in their handwritten vows, the groom said "and absolutely under no circumstances are you allowed to have more than 8 cats. Ever."

11. sundevilstick watched a best man mourn his friendship.

"At a friend of mine's wedding, the best man started the speech by talking about how the bride didn't really like him all that much, and that when anybody met him and the groom at the same time they thought they were gay together and he was going to miss that."

12. sniffles_snort saw a good Queen joke.

"Being asked to serve as best man is a bit like being asked to make love to the Queen. It's an incredible honour, but no one wants to do it."

13. Ghoom went to a wedding with a very confident best man.

"Can't remember where I heard this..."Me and [groom] have been friends for a long time, but he had some trouble finding a best man. He first asked his richest friend to be his best man, but he said no. Then he asked his funniest friend to be his best man, but he said no. He then asked his best-looking friend to be the best man but even he said no. Then he asked me and after turning him down the first three times I couldn't refuse again."

14. MisterCanoeHead's friend was a grade A troll.

"A friend of mine took a folded up piece of paper out of his pocket and began to read, "Sodomy is defined by Websters as..." then paused and said, "Oh! Sorry! Wrong speech."

Folded it up, stuffed it in his pocket, took out his real speech and began. The bride was furious! She later approached my friend and shouted, "You said 'Sodomy' on my wedding video?!"

15. HeroOfTime1987 felt the toast about the open bar.

"Ladies and gentlemen. We are gathered here today to recognize something magical. Something that has seemingly disappeared in our society. Something so rare and beautiful, we have come together to partake and share in the joy it gives off. I am of course talking about the open bar."

16. sentimental pirate's best man did a bait-and-switch.

"My best man was my roommate in college. He told a story about when he knew my wife and I were right for each other. He had come home from a class and noticed the dorm lights were off but could hear slight mumbling inside, from presumably me and my girlfriend. He entered to find us on the bed at the far end of the room...(at this point I felt super awkward, as did many of the audience listening), but when he got closer he noticed that we were side by side with a game boy in each of our hands playing Pokemon."

17. angelamm10 watched the groom poke fun at himself.

The groom had a lazy eye and said, "I knew the first time I laid eye on you that I loved you."

18. youarentbenjamin celebrated with grim statistics.

I was the best man at my buddy's wedding this summer. I closed with "A lot of you don't know me but I've spent my time in college studying mathematics, specifically the field of statistics. I want you guys to look at each other in the eyes. You are now looking at the person who, statistically speaking, is most likely to murder you."

19. LiterallyOuttoLunch watched a reference bomb.

My cousin parroted the speech that the Impressive Clergyman gave during the wedding scene of 'The Princess Bride.' Only a couple people under 40 got it. My mother whispered in my ear, "Oh my God, I think Michael is having a stroke."

20. gutoandreollo watched a groom give a big reveal.

In a recent wedding I went to, during the reception afterwards, the groom, who's universally known (to us, friends of the bride) to be an AWFUL singer, asks for attention, and proceeds to give a speech similar to this:

"Ok, so, after knowing [bride]for 5 years, and marrying her an hour ago, I feel it's finally time to let her know my biggest secret ever, and one I wish to share with all of you. One secret only my closest friends know, and now I wish that all of my wife's friends know, too."

Cue in "Stairway to heave," which he sang PERFECTLY, like a true cover, much to my friend's (the bride) joy and extreme surprise.

Turns out, the day they met, he had a sore throat and couldn't sing, and just made a fool of himself. So, right then and there he had the idea (and the balls!) to hide the fact that he could probably lead crowd singing, and only reveal it on the most interesting moment, to which he waited for five years, and had his side of friends swear to his secret too.

LIKE. A. BOSS!

Who among us hasn't daydreamed of discovering a secret room behind an enormous bookshelf, or a Harry Potter style chill spot to hide and read?!

Countless movies show the equally magical and grim possibilities of hidden passageways and secret rooms. In some cases, they serve as torture spots run by villainous figures, while others function as safe havens and secret garden-style utopias.

While there are often less glamorous functions for secret rooms in real life, running into a hidden door is always elicit exciting questions about where it leads, and why it exists in the first place.

In a popular Reddit thread, people who found secret rooms or passageways in their homes, workplaces, and schools shared their stories.

1. Guardian_Ainsel's house has an old haunted opium den.

My house had a secret room in the attic. It's a really old house and the former owner was a pretty wealthy banker. The room was used as an opium den, and when the stock market crashed he hung himself in there.

2. Admiral_Fancypants had a handy talking hole.

There was a tile in our kitchen that you could lift up and there was a hole down to the laundry room in the basement. We usually just used it to talk to anyone that was down there, or a laundry chute if we were too lazy to go downstairs.

3. paintingtrees's friend discovered the death well.

My best friend works maintenance/groundskeeping at a high school. One day he found a strange cylindrical hole in the packed dirt under one of the older buildings on campus. The hole was about six feet across and three feet deep. One afternoon when work was light he lined the edge with rocks, complete with mortar to make them look like they had always been there, then he got some old timber out of storage and put up some posts and a beam across the hole, so it looked exactly like the top of an old well.

He re-positioned the lights in the crawl space so only one would come on and it would strategically rake light across the opening of the well, so the bottom was always in complete darkness. You seriously could not tell how deep this well went down (he sent me pictures).

Last, he took a few broken toys out of the lost and found that had been in there for years, and he put them on the far side of the well, just visible if you look closely. Then he turned off the lights and walked away. Within a month, without him saying a word to anyone about it, he started overhearing kids whispering about "the Death Well" under the school and "the Bottomless Pit" and things like that.

It's been probably five years since he built The Well, and it's still standing, the toys are all still there, and the kids still talk about it. One last thing, none of the students have ever asked him about the well. But if they do, his response is going to be, "don't EVER go near that well! That's what it WANTS!" and then he'll limp quickly away (he doesn't have a limp). I think it's brilliant.

4. perfectcarlossultana walked through a pipe.

At my high school, there was a culvert pipe just large enough to crawl through with our backs hunched. We knew that it went as far as the campus pond and about fifteen minutes in, we had to squeeze to the side to avoid the steam pipes.

Being stupid kids, we decided to keep going. We walked through that culvert, backs hunched, for two hours. Boy, was that worth it. We made it into town and we could see people walking over us through the irrigation grates. Fit fifteen minutes, we'd grab the grate every time someone walked passed, shake it, and yell incoherently, effectively scaring the living sh*t out of them.

Best day ever.

5. captainmagictrousers lived in a house with a tornado shelter play room.

The closest thing I've ever had to a "secret room" was the tornado shelter in my last house.

When my wife and I moved in, we went into the garage and discovered a trap door on the floor. The door lead down to an underground tornado shelter. There were no lights. The stairs creaked horribly, the air was thick with dust, and the echoes sounded like something was walking towards you. To make things even worse, you had to go down the stars backward, so you couldn't see whatever evil monster was waiting for you in the dark.

I told my wife "That tornado shelter is scarier than a tornado. I'm never going down there."

But later, we actually had a tornado warning. We grabbed flashlights and sleeping bags and rushed down there. It turned out, once you walked around the corner, the super creepy tornado shelter was bright pink and covered in lady bug stickers. Apparently the last owner's little girl used it as a play room.

6. uReallyShouldTrustMe suspects their aunt found a secret goldmine and hoarded it for herself.

This is more of a family legend, but here it goes. Everyone always heard that my great grandma had build a secret room in her farm somewhere. No one knew where it was or what she kept in there, but the speculation was that it was gold as she always saved money, bought gold, and there was no trace of it.

She died without telling anyone, or so we thought. However, an aunt started going to the old ranch an awful lot in the months following her death. She went repeatedly and then suddenly stopped.

About a year later, a different family member found a will, with the location to the secret room, a small 2'x2' crevice with a lock. Many members of the family went together to prevent foul play, but found that the lock was broken and the small room empty. Looking back at the clues, that first aunt suspiciously had money to buy herself property and businesses in the times following the death.

Although she never admitted to it, most of the family is convinced that great grandma had a stash of gold, the aunt found it, and hoarded it. No one knows for sure though.
Edit - the irs idea sounds great guys, except this was decades ago in Mexico.

7. 5peasinapod's grandparents had a trick bookshelf.

My grandparents had a built in bookshelf that could be pulled out of the wall to reveal a small space (about enough to fit 3 skinny people in). I never knew about it until a game of adult hide and seek and my uncle hid there, and my grandfather scolded him for revealing it.

8. tuckyd had a secret room with survival tools.

I used to live in suburban Detroit where people had immense fear of breaking and enterings. So, when we moved into our new house, the landlord showed us the 'special cabinet.' One of the cabinets in the office room off the living room was actually a passage-way tiny to a small room with some water bottles, gas masks, other important survival things. It had room for about 2 or 3 people.

Needless to say, we never used it.

9. duskull11's friend had the coolest set up.

It wasn't really that secret, but as a child it felt like it was. In my friend's house, what looked like a bunk bed actually had a door where the bottom bunk was, which lead to a secret toy room. I loved it in there.

10. ShitKiknSlitLickin found Sam the ghost's wine.

I worked at the Banff Springs Hotel about 15 years ago. The place was supposedly haunted by Sam the Bellhop who had worked in the big old hotel for over 60 years, his entire life. From time to time over the years there were reports of luggage disappearing from the bell hop area later to be discovered in the guest's room. Upon discrete inquiry the guests would describe a kind old gentleman in a grey bell hop uniform who brought their bags in for them and refused to accept a tip. The grey uniform had been retired long ago. In other words, Sam was still lending a hand from time to time.

I was a runner, my job was to find stuff guests had requested and bring it to them. 1206 wants an extra blanket, kettle for 304, comp 612 a bottle of wine, etc. All this stuff was locked up in random closets and areas and cupboards all over the old hotel. They gave me a huge set of keys and a map, but no clues as to where any specific items were located.

One day I was searching for a power adapter and not having any luck when I came upon a door without any signage. Assuming it was a closet because it didn't have a room number I started trying keys until I found one that fit. Once inside it took me a minute of looking around but suddenly... I realized I had discovered Sam the Bellhop's old staff accommodations. It was clear nobody had been in this room for years.

What I presume were his uniforms were hanging on a coat rack. "Sam" was stitched over the heart, the same place we were told to wear our name plates in orientation. On the bedside table was an expensive looking bottle of port wine and a stemmed glass. Both were covered with a thick layer of dust, perhaps as an offering to the restless spirit? "Have a drink on us Sam, your favorite! Job well done. You've earned a rest." I took it all in, the old bed frame, the frayed carpet, the stationary with the old Canadian Pacific Railway logo, the smell... then I slowly backed out and gently closed the door.

11. robingallup was serenaded by the organ.

I janitored (janited? janitated?) at a church with really nice bathrooms.

They had the trash cans that are built into the wall. Recessed, I guess, where you just push the little, swinging-from-top-hinges, stainless steel door open, and you drop your paper towel inside. The base of it was actually a large door that held the trash can, so as the janitor, you just pop open the big door, remove the can, take out and replace the bag, and then close it all back up.

Late one night, when the big door once got stuck, I had to remove the entire apparatus. You just pop out the screws around the perimeter, and the whole thing slides out of the wall in one piece, about two feet wide, four feet high, and a foot deep.

Upon pulling it out, I realize that in the space where the apparatus just was, there's a lot of space going upward on the other side of the drywall. I peek my head inside and realize there's a small tunnel going straight up. It was just a little wider than a person, made of sort of a silver flashing that reminds me for some reason of air ducts, though I'm fairly positive it wasn't part of the ventilation system. Really, what it made me think of most was the laundry chute at home we played in as kids.

I figured out that it would be easy to shimmy up. It was narrow enough that by extending my arms slightly, I would stay wedged in place, but wide enough that if I pulled my arms back against my body, I'd start sliding back down, so no worries of falling out too quickly, or worse, getting stuck. I went up a few feet, then stopped because I couldn't see. The further up, the darker it became, and my body was blocking most of the light from the entry point below. Afraid of spiders, I decided to grab a flashlight, and then I started back up again.

I inched my way upward about ten feet, at which point the chute opened on one side into a narrow walkway. It was basically the space between the wall of the sanctuary on one side and the wall of the foyer on the other. It had a simple floor made out of particle board, which I took to mean I could probably walk on it without falling through.

The pathway went about 50 feet, then turned left. I figured I must be somewhere behind the back wall of the sanctuary -- that is, the back of the stage, the wall everyone can see while seated. It occurred to me that the baptism pool must be just about right underneath me, which was a little unsettling, but the floor seemed solid enough. I kept going.

The hallway ended at something really weird that I couldn't identify. It was on the left-hand side of the wall, taller than I was, circular within a larger square frame. It had a huge, conical metal thing coming out of the back. There were some wires coming out of it, and as best I could figure, I guessed like it was a giant speaker of some sort. This made no sense to me, because the sanctuary had a cluster of smaller speakers that hung from the ceiling.

And while I stood there trying to figure it out, there came the most earth-shattering noise I have ever heard in my life. Felt, really, because the whole floor shook, and my hand that was touching the metal apparatus vibrated horribly. The sound was a massive, deep, rumbly blast that I could feel in my gut, the way you feel when someone blasts one of those huge subwoofers in the trunk of their car. I thought the world was ending, followed almost immediately by the thought that maybe I was being electrocuted. I covered my ears, but it was still deafening.

And then the sound began to change. It took a good ten seconds or so for me to realize it was music. Organ music. I had wandered my way directly behind the massive speaker connected to the church organ -- which, it turns out, is how non-pipe organs work. The organist was a nice old lady who often came in the late evenings to practice, and she arrived while I was shimmying my way up the chute. Most nights, I enjoyed hearing her play while I worked, but let me tell you, having an organ go off while you're standing directly behind the speaker is a hell of a thing.

Weeks later, I found some building schematics which showed you can also reach the organ speaker access shaft through a crawlspace entry in the ceiling of the choir room, which I later learned that the maintenance man would get into every once in a while with a step ladder.

But I suspect that, even now, not many people know you can also get there from the secret tunnel behind the trash can in the men's room.

12. bulldog0256 loved their big cement room.

I was a maintenance guy/custodian for a high school, and my shift started about an hour before school let out and ended around 11:30 at night. I couldn't clean anything while students were in my areas, so I would go to the storage closet, and climb up the ladder to ventilation room. It was the area you needed to go to replace air filters. The room itself used to be for team meetings for basketball games before renovations, so it was huge.

Also near the IT room, so it had wifi. Best part was that someone had pulled up a chair from the auditorium and put it in a space around the corner, so I would go up there for an hour if I had nothing to do, chill in a comfy chair and browse reddit. Got even better when I found a good tennis ball, would play wall ball in this giant cement room.

13. LANCafeMan's old job built a room to fake out the fire marshall.

One job I used to work at was on the 10th floor of an office building, but due to fire safety rules they were limited in their occupancy permit to about half of what they needed.

So they literally built a wall in the hallway which cut the place in half, and then added with a hutch-sized door on this new wall that they then put a photocopy machine in front of. This hid half the company behind this micro-door that hopefully the fire marshal would not discover.

EDIT: http://imgur.com/XtQ2vNo Behold, the power of cloud storage delivers a picture from 2005!

14. mrg313 found a secret room with snacks from the 70s.

There's a bomb/fallout shelter under my high school. After school one day, this was about 6 years ago, we found a random door a ways off from the schoolgrounds and went exploring. It looked like it had been untouched since the 70s and there were jugs of water and crackers in a tin can similar to this.

I'm actually going home this weekend to visit, maybe I'll see if the place is still unlocked.

Edit: Door was locked =( but here's a picture of the cracker tin my friend took out of it many years ago

http://imgur.com/t16Vfpk

15. SchwartzKatze had endless fun using the mini hallway.

I used to live in a very large house in northern Ontario (Canada) and there was a closet in the front hallway that if you entered you could make your way through and come out in the bedroom on the other side. It was like a mini hallway/passage between the walls from the front closet to the bedroom closest. Me, my siblings and my pets got many hours of fun out of it!

16. calcaneus's school had steam tunnels.

At my undergrad college, there was a series of what were called "steam tunnels." Supposedly in the earlier history of the college, they were used to allow students to pass between buildings during times of gnarly winter weather, but they had been sealed off long before I got there. Unless...you knew how to get in. Most students thought they were a myth; the few of us - and judging by the number of people I saw down there, there probably were less than 100 out of 5,000 students who knew they really did exist - who did found a nice haven for - whatever. Makes sense that they were old, because they only went between the three oldest buildings on campus.

They were just really wide tunnels with high ceilings that did in fact carry steam pipes, so they were warm; there were some blind offshoots, but mostly they were just nice, wide thoroughfares that were fun to explore.

17. jutah1983 may have scared a guidance counselor during their exploration.

Found a secret dumb waiter on the third floor of my high school. It was just big enough for a person to fit in. I got inside and took it down to the second floor where I found the door to the outside was boarded up but the other side was a guidance counselors office. I banged on the board and made ghost sounds then hauled back up to the third floor and ran away.

18. Svardskampe's monastery was full of whimsy.

I went to this monastery for middle and high school (secondary education):

http://footo.nl/userphotos/2010/0317/9602oo181264658706.jpg

Wider surroundings: http://www.hoek.be/hoek/hoek1college.jpg

1. Under the bell tower, there was a big wooden staircase, with a small door on the flights. It was locked most of the times, but one time I passed it and it wasn't. It was a towering, small and square library with ladders all around it.

2. All the way up in the bell tower, it was all old and squeaky, bird shit everywhere. Well, that was eerie. Never managed to explore that area well.

3. The basement was all tunnels and rooms. Apparently it was used in the second world war to hide Jewish people.

4. There was a story about the hill harboring a container with WW2-era firearms from a bikergang.

5. There were stories about the fathers having hidden their gold treasuries in a step of the stairs around the kitchen and filled it up with concrete so the germans didn't get to it when coming around.

I know it was some straight up Hogwarts-level of mystery surrounding it. It has been used as a film location some time(s?), at least once in this series: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salamander_%28TV_series%29

EDIT: To add to that, I'd like to put a link to my old history/philosophy teacher's web show (I don't even know if it comes on TV for real. I haven't seen TV in years): http://www.fansofflanders.be/Channels/Once%20Upon%20A%20Time who tells you all about historic little facts and quirks about Belgium (Flanders actually, but alright). If you like mystery, medieval practices and culture, definitely click one or two videos.

EDIT: for Americans, use https://unblockvideos.com/ to unblock the video for your country!

BTW: In class he was less animated and quicker than he does on camera.

19. Billy-Orcinus never went back to see the clown painting.

A junior high school that I used to go to for language classes had a hallway at a corner of the building which was completely dark. The hall led to a stair well which was dark as well. The teachers always used to tell the students to never go upstairs, so naturally we formed "raiding parties" to find oit what was upstairs. Idk why but you'd think it would have been easy to get a bunch of kids to run through a hallway and up some stairs, but there were a lot of failed attempts because the parties would fall apart because teachers came to stop us or kids would run back as soon as they got to the stairs cause they were scared sh*tless.

Anyways, it was after quite some time before we actually managed to reach the top of the stairs and what we saw up there reinforced the rumour that that place was haunted. Basically you walk up these steps in complete darkness and you are met with a bright painting of a clown or something at the top. Let's just say there were no more attempts to explore further the upstairs anymore after that day.

20. gumbydude found letters from the 1960s in their secret space.

It's not exactly a secret room, but rather a secret space. After my senior year of high school, I worked the summer as a laborer at the school- they were doing extensive renovations and they hired a few students to do the unskilled work so that they wouldn't have to pay the contractor's guys to do it. In the library there was the school vault which mostly held old records, blueprints, and some time capsule stuff.

The vault was only about 7 feet high and the ceilings in that wing were about 10 feet. We tore out the old plywood and veneer that had filled the space between the vault in the ceiling and there was a motherlode of old stuff (presumably from the last time renovations had been done). There were notes from kids in the 1960s, some pictures, baseball cards, a pair of panties, and some old beer cans.

So, we kept everything up there in its place, and then added some of our own: a picture of the four of us (with names on the back), a list of who the hot girls (and teachers) were at school, and I think a Skillet CD someone had in their car. We put it all in a box the next day, got back up on top of the vault and shoved everything just out of sight. The next week the contractor came in and bricked over crawlspace, so we assume that stuff won't surface again until the building is demolished.

Unfortunately, we didn't recognize any of the names on the stuff from the 60s, otherwise we'd have let them know. I sure hope somebody contacts us in 40 years.

Celebrities are always on their phones, mindlessly scrolling through Twitter as life passes them by: just like us! Social media sites like Twitter and Instagram are a chaotic free-for-all where celebrities and normies hang out side-by-side, separated only by a little blue checkmark. And it's pretty common for the rich and famous to interact with the public, often completely out-of-the-blue.

Someone recently posed this very 21st century question to Twitter:

What's y'all's funniest celeb Twitter interaction?

Here are 26 interactions between civilians and celebrities that belong in the Internet Hall-of-Fame. Surprisingly, only a few of them involve Chrissy Teigen.

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25.) This by far pic.twitter.com/TN9CWxFguJ

Names can be deceiving. The country of Greenland is not very green, and 24 Hour Fitness is not, in fact, opens for 24 hours.

Dan Hill, an animator and dad in Sandy, Utah, was swimming laps at his local gym on Saturday night when he emerged from the pool to find that nobody was around.

After midnight, Hill discovered that the staff had locked up and went home, leaving him alone with nothing to do but take funny selfies.

"I am literally locked inside 24 hour fitness right now. They closed the doors and went home while I was swimming my laps in the pool. Doesn't the name suggests that they stay open 24 hours?" he wrote, aptly observing the irony.

Hill called the police dispatch, who didn't see it as an emergency and said they'd call him back.

He added, "I called my wife, she said find a comfortable place to sleep. LOL."

A good sport, Hill took the opportunities to take pictures around the deserted gym. It's shocking to see a gym empty in January—most people haven't given up on their new year's resolutions yet.

"Hello? Is anybody there?"

"Weight for me! I'm still here!"

About a half an hour later, Hill was rescued by the cops, and took one last funny selfie of the night, celebrating that he was "free at last!"

The cops gave the rescue their thumbs up.

Over 10,000 people have shared the post, which is like the size of the population of the entire state of Utah.

The story got picked up by outlets including People magazine, and Good Guy Dan felt guilty for exposing the fact that the name 24 Hour Fitness was a lie. He took to Facebook to say that he stands by his gym, and hopes that a sign saying "I'm Here" could remind the staff not to lock him up inside.

A surefire way to make sure you never get locked in the gym? Never go to the gym.

Becoming a parent is an intense enough experience even when you're partnered up and fully prepared, so it's no wonder unexpected pregnancies present big question marks.

In a more equitable world, everyone would have access to comprehensive birth control, abortion services, and easy adoption services (the process is incredibly complex). Unfortunately, social stigmas and classist politicians have consistently fed into a system that trap women in tough situations and punish them for their decisions.

For single mothers, keeping a child they didn't plan sometimes traps them into a cycle of poverty that is compounded by a system that punishes and gaslights lower income people. For women who don't want children, false conflations between embryos and children are thrown around in order to demonize and silence them about how normal abortion is.

All this is to say, the conversation around birth and abortion is wrought for the women at the center, and many face pressure from all sides.

In a recent post on the Am I The A*shole subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for asking her sister-in-law to keep a pregnancy in order to give the baby up for adoption.

AITA for asking to adopt my SIL’s baby that she’s planning on terminating?

OP shared that her younger brother died in an accident months ago, and while her sister-in-law survived, she has trauma induced epilepsy as a result.

My younger brother was married to his wife (who he had dated for nearly 2 years) for just over a month before they were involved in an accident in November. My brother passed away while my SIL survived with minor injuries and mild brain trauma. She is technically healed, but suffers from trauma induced epilepsy as a result.

Just last week, OP's sister-in-law found out she's almost three months pregnant with her dead husband's child.

Too stricken by grief and physical trauma, OP's sister-in-law shared (in confidence) that she is planning on terminating the pregnancy.

Last week, my SIL told me that she just found out that she is nearly 3 months pregnant with my brother’s child. She told me that she does not know what to do, and that she wants to terminate the pregnancy because she does not want to be a single, widowed mother. She says if my brother was alive she would keep the baby for certain, but now she is grieving and does not feel capable of being a mother for a long long time.

OP has kept her sister-in-law's secret and didn't tell her parents, knowing they would get upset at the situation.

I didn’t tell my parents because my SIL swore me to secrecy (edit: she told me explicitly not to tell them, she told me while at my house with my husband beside me) but I know that they would be absolutely devastated if they learned that my SIL was planning to terminate her pregnancy, and thereby their grandson/daughter. My brother was their favourite kid and they took the loss hard, especially my mother. I think if she found out it would absolutely tear her apart.

However, OP did think up a potential plan for the sister-in-law's pregnancy.

I myself am 32 years old and I have a 2 y/o son with my husband of 4 years. I am a SAHM. We were actually thinking of trying for our second child. So, I figured that I would ask my SIL if she would be open to the idea of letting us adopt the baby.

Since OP's sister-in-law doesn't have the bandwidth to approach life as a single, widowed mother, OP hatched up the idea of her and her husband adopting the child.

I thought this was reasonable. My husband and I are good parents, have a stable income, and live in a big house in a nice neighbourhood. Our son is a sweet boy and would love a little brother or sister. We would be more than capable of providing her child with a good home and happy life.

However, when OP invited her sister-in-law over to pitch the plan, it did not go well.

So I invited my SIL over for dinner at my house, and I (alone) asked her what she thought of this possible plan. She reacted very oddly, and was almost angry that I would suggest such a thing. I told her I’m not forcing her into anything, but she accused me of guilt tripping her, because I briefly mentioned that “my parents will be so happy to meet their grandchild.”

OP's sister-in-law called the offer invasive, and felt guilt-tripped by OP's mention of the grandparents being "so happy" to meet a new a baby.

Again I apologized and told her its just a suggestion, but she was angry and said that she does not want to carry her own child for nearly a year just to hand it over to “almost a stranger”. I said thats unfair, I’ll technically be the child’s aunt and hardly a stranger, but she was still offended and said she had to leave.

OP has since apologized and has yet to receive a response from her sister-in-law, who left the dinner deeply upset.

I typed up an apology text but she never responded. I went over my words and actions at dinner with my husband and he agreed that I approached it as sensitively as possible. AITA for approaching her with this suggestion in the first place?

SqueaksScreach thinks OP was completely out of line, well-intentioned or not.

YTA she is in no health to even carry a child you didn't think about her well being. You just thought of yourself and your family. She has every right to do what she decides.

333_143 understands where OP is coming from, but thinks it was deeply manipulative to bring up the grandparents.

YTA — Although I see your good intentions. You’re both grieving, and you obviously want to hold on to a part of him—but that part of him was never yours to begin with.

She went through something horrific, is obviously suffering both mentally and physically, trusted you with this.

Again, I see how you probably honestly thought this was a beautiful offer, a great solution, but fuck, also kind of selfish. And the grandparent comment was definitely a cruel guilt trip.

Lifesaboxofgardens thinks it was deeply manipulative for OP to push their views on abortion on their grieving sister-in-law, not to mention the trauma of bringing the child of her dead husband to term.

YTA, I honestly am baffled as to how you don't see what you did wrong. You not only pushed your own views about abortion on to her despite how subtly you think you were, but you ASKED HER FOR HER BABY? I am stupefied that you would ask a woman who is terminating her pregnancy to go to term and give the baby to you. If you want to adopt, adopt, this is like some Twilight Zone stuff I am so confused.

thewheelerdealer thinks OP really missed the mark and is underestimating the trauma of unwanted pregnancy.

YTA. I can tell your heart is in the right place and you truly care.
Even though you did this in a sensitive way, it's still an asshole thing to do to someone, because you're essentially expecting your SIL to be an incubator and ignoring her feelings.

matilsal thinks OP needs get honest about her guilt-tripping.

YTA. And please, please, do not tell your parents about this baby unless your SIL is the one to choose to tell them. The last thing this poor woman needs is more people guilt tripping (and yes, I'd classify you bringing them up as a means to sway her to giving you her child as guilt tripping) her into making a choice she didn't want to make.

It seems clear that the internet thinks OP was out of line, hopefully she'll take that on board and move forward with more understanding towards her sister-in-law.

A guy's post on Reddit complaining about his fiancé's dream wedding dress resulted in the wedding being called off.

The saga begins—like most internet dramas do—with a man kvetching about his partner, a woman who is a decade younger. Because his fiancé Emma has a Reddit account, he made a throwaway profile called "josh8449." He might have been smart enough to change his name, but not smart enough to change hers.

The dude, who claims to be 38, asked, "Am I the a-hole for telling my fiancee [a 27-year-old female] her wedding dress choice is way too extravagant and suggesting alternatives?"

He opens the post by explaining how fiscally responsible he is, especially compared to his betrothed:

We are getting married in July of this year, the venue is booked and the wedding is pretty much sorted.

Emma has been researching dresses and has a little scrap book of lots of dresses she likes for ideas but is now looking to buy.

All that's left to get is the bridesmaid dresses and her wedding dress.

We jointly put aside 10k each for the wedding, everything is paid and we have 6k left over which i think could go towards the honeymoon on top of the honeymoon fund we already had.

We aren't the extravagant type at all, then comes the time for Emma to pick her dress. I know everything is more expensive when it has the term wedding attatched to it what i wasn't expecting was an $950 dress plus $120 veil!

He then explains just how little his outfit will cost (it's free), and just how much of a "diva" Emma is being by wanting a wedding dress that's over $100 and fitted:

I'm using my dad's old tux he used for his wedding to my mom, just had it taken in a little, Emma can't use her mum's dress as her and her mum both say the style hasn't aged well wich is fair.

I had a quick Google around at dresses online and there were so many! And so many just like the one emma wants for like $50 to $100.

I'm not trying to get her to cheap out on her dress but she will literally wear it once, one dress for over $1000 is just insane that would fund our honeymoon .

I tried to show her some dresses i found on a reccomended app called Wish and others on websites but she was having none of it.

She is very slender but apparantly wants it specially fitted?

While Emma argues that it's her perogative to buy a wedding dress-price level wedding dress because it's her own money, Josh argues that it's not exactly her money because it'll become his money as soon as they are wed.

It turned nasty unfortunately because i said i refuse to drop such a large amount of money on a dress and she argued that she is using her own money for the dress.

Wich isn't strictly true as we ate about to marry and our finances will be joined.

Then her mom had to get involved, they offered to pay for the dress but it's not a case of not being able to afford it.

It's a dress! there are identical one's online at a fraction of the cost.

I thought she would be ecstatic to learn there are identical dresses for a fraction of the cost but she was really angry and upset.

Now here's the part where he asks if he's an a-hole:

AITA here? Is there something I am seriously missing because after we argued about the dress Emma has been extremely cold towards me.

Then yestersay she said if i want her to cheap out on her wedding dress on her wedding day that she needs to really consider if we are a good match for marriage.

I'm blown away that she would say that over a dress, I told her she's like a toddler throwing a tantrum over a sparkly toy she can't have, that was a mistake as she left to stay with her parent's, who called to tell me I am much more than an a**hole.

AITA here?

The AITA jury responded with a resounding "YES!"

"[You're The A**hole]. You say you don't want her to cheap out, but then you say you want her to buy a $50 -$100 wedding dress. That's cheap. That's cheap even for a regular dress. Those cheap dresses you're finding online will look terrible in person and are the source of so many disappointed women and jokes. Wedding dresses and their tailoring are expensive. $1000 is actually a low priced dress," milee30 calmly explained.

"Regardless of dress type, though, your reaction to her - calling her names and deciding you have veto power - is the real problem. You should be solving this issue together. If you can't, maybe it's not time to get married yet."

Now here's the part where it gets juicier than your average post: despite the fool-proof method of describing their exact situation under a different username, Emma saw the post, so Josh provided an update:

EDIT: Emma found this thread, it was a mistake to post here and im sorry i posted our problems on reddit, [I Am The A**hole]

A Redditor claiming to be Emma posted on r/Relationships explaining why she called off the wedding, and that the original poster lied about her age.

The now-deleted post is called "Me [23 F] with my fiancee [43 M] of 1 and a half years, he has humiliated me just a few months before our wedding over my dress and I don't know what to do."

"I picked a very simple and traditional gown that was already discounted as it is a...sample gown. My absolute idiot of a fiancee decided to post to a subreddit asking for opinions, or more likely validation, on whether I was being unreasonable," she wrote. "My dress is under 1000 dollars but will come to around 1500 with alterations."

She found the thread not only because it included her real name, but "his throwaway was his real name followed by his alarm pin!"

Josh denied making the post, but Emma said that it's not the first time he kvetched about her on Reddit.

"He got utterly [hammered] last night and called my parents, my dad had to hang up on him because he was screaming down the phone and my mom was disgusted," she added.

The whole story is sad and scary, and this Josh guy frankly sucks.

Emma deserves an age-appropriate dude who won't undermine her at every turn, while trying to rally the internet against her.

As do you, dear reader. Nobody deserves a Josh.

"I restore myself when I'm alone."

-Marilyn Monroe

Introverts will enjoy these memes because they are funny and can be enjoyed from the privacy of your own home. That's a winning combination for any introvert.

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Doors exist for many reasons—not only do they keep our belongings safe and protect us from the outside world, they also protect the outside world from the weird things we do in the privacy of our rooms or homes, when we think no one is watching.

But every human has, at some point in our lives, walked in to a home or room or situation we were not expected to enter. Or we've been on the other side of that threshhold, unexpectedly interrupted in the midst of doing whatever thing we were doing. Because life is a minefield of embarrassing surprises, and not everyone remembers to knock first.

Many times these situations involve sexual activity of some kind—but sometimes they involve the human condition at its most raw and uninhibited. And these PG-rated scenarios can be just as awkward to enter in to.

Someone asked Reddit: "what's the weirdest non sexual thing you've walked in on someone doing?" Here are 27 stories of people who accidentally entered a scenario that was extremely odd but entirely safe for work:

1.) From littleladygay:

My brother, high off his ass, laying in our chicken pen trying to pet everyone that went by and getting the shit pecked out of him.

2.) From paulinaatjex:

My grandpa putting a new lightbulb in the lamp wearing a dress.

Note: I was very depressed then so he tried to make me laugh

3.) From Nugbuddy:

Smoked weed once with a friend I met at University. It was her first time smoking and we went back to her room to hang. I went to use the restroom, and came out 30 seconds later to her dipping dry Wheaties (yes the cereal) into a bowl of guacamole. Like she was scooping the shit out of this guac that the cereal to guac ratio was 1 Wheatie to a half handful of guac. Then she fell asleep sitting up with food in her mouth lol.

4.) From ISleptWithYourM0m:

Once walked in on my brother high as a kite trying to put a string through a needle naked

5.) From snufyou:

I walked in on a new-mom coworker squeezing breast milk into her own coffee right from the teet.

6.) From shesavestheday:

I once came home to my roommate sitting on the living room floor with literally 20 bags of Lay's potato chips and just looked up at me and said, "Betcha can't eat just one."

7.) From fuchajen:

when I was 15, I opened the door to see my little brother be born.. opps!

8.) From TheGreatTiger:

I once caught my roommate studying. It was the only time I ever saw them do anything academic related. It was a bit surreal.

9.) From Viranax:

I once walked in on my step-sister dancing to crab rave with a crab costume on

10.) From BurlyKnave:

I don't know if this fits, but... I delivered pizza in my teens. One order had three pies, two 2-liter bottles of soda, plus chicken-wings. It was one of the largest orders I had ever delivered. Turned out, someone was moving into a new house, and it seemed like they recruited the whole extended family to help unload two moving vans.

So I rang the door bell, and this young teen answered the door.

"Pizza! How much?" I told her. She said she will go find someone, "Wait right there!" She disappeared to the left. I waited, holding a tall stack of food.

A few moments went by. A woman entered from the right. "Pizza! How much?" I told her. "Wait right there." She exited back to the right.

The girl reappeared from the left. "I haven't found anyone, but here's some money!" She gave me some cash. I couldn't count it, since my hands were full. "I'll be right back!" She went up the stairs.

A man appeared from the hallway directly in front me. "Pizza! Has anyone helped you?"

"Yes, actually I've been..."

"Good, good!" he interrupted, and left.

Girls returned from upstairs. "Sorry, I can't find anyone. But have this while I look some more." She stuffed a few more wadded bills in my fist then skipped into the hallways the man came out of.

The woman returned. "Here you go!" She produced the full amount, plus a tip.

I removed all the pizzas from their insulated cases, and handed her the products.

"Let me get you some change," I said, thinking about the cash the girl also brought.

But she just waved me off with "Don't worry about that! Thanks for being so patient with us."

And that was the biggest tip I ever received during my short career delivering pizza

11.) From soggydave2113:

So, this is a story of the opposite happening, and to this day, I cringe thinking about it.

This was the very dawn of smart phones with apps and cameras. I had just gotten through downloading a new app that let you scan any random barcode and it would search the internet for the item and tell you the price.

Before I had time to use it on anything, my girlfriend at the time dragged me to one of her friend’s houses for a couples dinner. I didn’t know them at all.

After introductions were over, the three of them stepped out of the room, so I was by myself in their living room where I saw that the husband had recently bought an expensive purse for his wife that still had the barcode on it.

lightbulb!

I can use this purse to try out my cool new app!

Long story short, the husband walks in on me looking really sketchy, holding his wife’s purse and doing something weird with my phone.

I was so not-cool about it too haha

I kind of reflexively threw the purse down and mumbled something about “nice bag” or something. I don’t quite remember.

He totally probably thought I was digging through her purse.

12.) From Wambolt90:

When I was 15, I was walking home from a friends house one evening when I cut through this local park with a gazebo in it. In the gazebo, there was this gypsy lady dancing around a chair with a Shrek plushie sitting on it. It looked like she was trying to put some sort of curse on it. I just kept walking hoping she didn’t see me.

13.) From Solobotomy:

I come home to find a black garbage bag on the kitchen floor, an open can of paint, a mug with paint on it, and socks with paint on them next to it. My roommate yells from her bedroom "I wasn't painting a mug with my socks!"

Years later she admitted that's exactly what she was doing.

14.) From whereegosdare84:

A fully decked out Victorian tea party for his stuffed animals where he only had a top hat on and tighty-whiteys.

He was 19.

It was freshman year and I was assigned to be his roommate.

I transferred to a new room.

15.) From the_house_from_up:

Not necessarily "walked in" on. A couple of years ago, I was mountain biking a popular trail in a pretty remote area. I came around a corner and there were 20 or 25 people sitting on the ground all facing the same direction dressed in your run-of-the-mill hiking clothing. In front of them were 2 men in white robes performing some kind of ceremony.

They were in a public place, so it's not like they were really hiding it. However, it was still quite strange.

16.) From Karontik:

I drove to my friends house in the county to try and suprise him when i was about 18 and walked into his house to him absolutely blasted on MDMA with music blasting through the entire house and him raving his ass off with a smoke machine in his living room, he was the only one home.

Turned out to be one of the most fun nights ive ever had.

17.) From laughsfromadistance:

I watched my sister fart on her bed then spin around and press her face into the fart spot and inhale

18.) From chillipotpeeps:

My wife sleep eating pizza in bed

ALRIGHT SIR BUT THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH SLEEP-EATING PIZZA IN BED.

19.) From CryingIsForTheWeak:

I live alone, so I don't walk in on people. I've done some very weird non sexual things with my bird though. Sometimes I'd just cup him in my hand and give him face rubs with my own face until he falls asleep. Sometimes, I stand in front of him when he is on top of his cage and I dance around to try and impress him. At other times, I give him nuzzles, except I fit his head in the arch of my nose (right between my eyes) and just hold it there as he bows lower and lower.

20.) From Sofargonept2:

I don't know if its sexual but I caught someone licking a bathroom mirror before.

So yeah this might not count if you think about it.

21.) From LuckyHightown:

I threw a house party when I was in high school and my bedroom door was locked from the inside. Would have bet my life it was my mate hooking up with a chick in my bed. No.

It was a homeless man who snuck in a crack whore and they were watching charmed and surrounded by heroin paraphernalia

It was a really good episode, we all watched the end then orbed them out

22.) From FreyjaOvAsgard:

My brother frantically trying to hide a rawhide bone i still have no idea why we don't even have a dog🤔

23.) From Orion_Starrlight:

So, the other day, I was going to check on my brother and his friends, as they were having a sleepover, and I hear one of them say, "No, it is your turn". I check to see what is going on, and they were trying to do the trend where they stuck their legs inside the arms of their sweatshirts and run around. One kid fell over and my brother says "It has been done. Our crab overlords have been summoned." and they all look at me.

24.) From GoldenShatteredStars:

Well, my roommate managed to shriek and I went running to see what happened.....she sent fire to pasta. She was trying to cook pasta and forgot to add the fucking water which led to a (small) fire. Her excuse was “I’m high”.

25.) ​​​​​​From MoterThread:

It was a sports teacher in my school selling these pills to these guys in an older year, all 6 of them,locked eyes with me and all I could say was "has anyone seen a science book around here somewhere" and then I just left without saying anything else

Is there anything better than an old-timey phrase that barely makes sense, but sounds wise because someone old said it?

A Reddit user asked people to share the funniest peculiar old-school sayings that their parents and grandparents loved. There are too many great ones to count, but here are 18 of the best.

1. Who among us has not been accused of gallivanting by an old person?

My grandma always liked the phrase "out gallivanting", as in "you wouldn't be so tired if you weren't out gallivanting all night" - Cthulhuhoop

2. *wistful sigh* It's been years since I last lollygagged.

My grandma too. She was Irish. She was also big on "lollygagging". - Lucinnda

3. Dads always have funny ways of showing affection.

Every time my Dad would fart he'd say "There's a kiss for ya." - RuggedMeshBlue

4. This fart euphemism gets points for creativity.

My dad would always say “How’d that tree frog get in here?” - Obwyn

5. Dead squirrels as motivation!

"Be decisive. Right or Wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels that couldn't make a decision." - thestonez

6. Did he ever get rid of that bean?

When I would say "I gotta pee" my dad would say "I gotta bean" as if I said "I've got a pea" and he has a bean. Every time. My whole childhood. - -_Bad_Wolf_-

7. Touché, Gramps.

Anytime my grandfather would drop something, he would frustratedly say, "Well lay down if you don't feel good". - DoctorQuinzell

8. How many nickels would you pay for this?

My Mom used to say that someone was so cheap, "He wouldn't pay a nickel to see the Pope wear tights." Apparently, her Mom used to say that. - gtmbphillyloo

9. Extremely relatable.

When my mom's going to go to sleep she says "It's time to do what I do best" - adastrally

10. A rule to live by.

If my dad didn't want anything to do with something he'd say 'not my monkeys, not my circus' - coughinginthenight

11. "Bippy"?

"Hold on to your bippy!" when making some risky driving moves. - Olita333

12. Someone needs to write a book about this woman now.

My 104 yr old grandma who was a vaudeville actress in the 20s and married a guy in the mob in the 30s would always say as she left, with a wave, "See you in jail!" - Threewisemonkey

13. Not a single one of these makes sense or means anything. Incredible!

my best friends mother has some classics

"Oh sweetie, are your diamond shoes too tight?"

"Looks like what we need around here are more horses' heads"

"Can't get blood from a turnip"

And this awesome one from my Great Grandfather

"Well I sure do feel a lot more like I do now than I did a while ago" - hotrodgirl70ss

14. Dark and intriguing.

My great grandma would always say,

"Good Night Nurse!"

generally as a statement of exasperation.

I love everything about it, the alliteration, there's something dark about it, makes me think the meaning it that you're talking to the nurse when you're slipping into a coma or dying. - CmosNeverlast

15. Maybe he just forgot all their names.

My papa called every female he ever met the name Katie, including my gran, mum and all of my cousins despite NONE of us being called this. Had no explanation as to why he done this but weirdly we all knew which ‘Katie’ he was referring to when he shouted on us. - da_lonely_panda

16. This one's deep.

If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it between sex and syphillis in the dictionary. - steinweg

17. Literal LOL.

“She’s red on the noodle like a pecker on a poodle” referring to a red haired lass. Or “that’s the kind of gal that could make you write bad checks” - 1toke

18. Old people sure love to fart.

Dad would fart and say “uh oh! My whistle’s broke!” - tzoids1

What's more important: your brother's wedding or a your wife and unborn child's health?

This is what one man had to ask the internet to help him figure out, as he weighs the personal cost of leaving his pregnant wife on bed rest in order to attend his brother's wedding.

"So my brother is getting married in two weeks," the man wrote. "The wedding is in LA where the rest of my family lives, my wife and I live on the east coast. I’m the best man."

His wife is eight months pregnant and has been ordered not to leave bed for the health of the baby and herself:

My wife just recently got put in bed rest, and is 8 months pregnant. She said that I can’t go to the wedding. I can’t just skip my brothers wedding. Especially when I’m the best man. The original plan was fly over two days early, stay three days and fly back.

He moved his flights around in hopes that his wife would relent. No dice:

I’ve moved the flight to night of the day before and afternoon of the day after.

My wife is still saying I can’t go. Her friends are willing to come over and help, and worst come to worst her parents can drive up and stay a day or two. It’s not like she’ll be all alone.

I told her I can’t skip the wedding and that she’ll be fine and there are other people to help her. It’s only a day and a half, nothing’s going to happen.

Neither he nor his wife will budge:

She said that if I cared about her I would skip the wedding. I got pissed off and said she can think that if she wants but I’m going either way. She’s now only talking to me to demand water.

Nice environment to bring a child into, right?

The people of Reddit have answered with a resounding "you're the a-hole," with a few holdouts.

User tenpercentofnothing says that this shouldn't even have become an argument:

She’ll be what 37-38 weeks pregnant when you leave? That’s full-term! She’s on doctor-ordered bed rest because of high blood pressure and now you’re stressing her out which is probably going to increase her blood pressure even more and lead to early labor. She shouldn’t have to tell you that you can’t go! You should have made that decision on your own. Yes, it absolutely sucks that you’d have to miss your brother’s wedding. I’d be devastated if that happened to me. But your wife needs YOU, not her parents, not her friends.

Bangbangsmashsmash pointed out that bed rest is not exactly a staycation:

Bed rest is meant to protect health of mom and baby. and they really don’t like to put people on it if they can help it (increases risk of blood clots and other stuff). Bed rest means you’re in imminent danger to a degree

Bugsdoingthings pointed out he might regret going to the wedding big time:

Your wife is a first time mom and has medical complications already.

I think you need to stop and ask yourself: if your wife, God forbid, has a catastrophic medical event during childbirth, do you really think you are going to look back at this and say "yeah, I'm really glad I dug in my heels and told her to shove it"?

And abhikaivi gets real about what could actually happen:

I feel like OP is missing how dangerous this is. His wife, child, or both could die. Missing his child's birth would be terrible, but imagine missing one of their deaths.

Abigfatsmellypoo points out that the brother could be stepping up more:

You know who the AH is? You and your brother. You should have told your brother “oh #%* my wife is having complications you need a backup best man” and your brother should have been like “on it bro”

And EmpressSundae sealed the deal with a true story:

My husband left me for five days to fly across the country to go to a wedding where he was a groomsman. I was 38 weeks pregnant.

It was a pretty shitty thing to do. I don’t actually know if I’ll ever really get over it. I felt totally abandoned. Also broken-hearted for my poor baby when I realized that he didn’t truly want to be present for the birth, where he ranked that in his priorities. He did the wedding and then went to his hometown and kicked it with his family for a few days. Which also was a nail in the coffin of my opinion for a lot of his family- that no one freaked out at him and gave him a Tough Love come to Jesus talk for even being here. If my brother left his wife at that point of pregnancy for almost a week across the country my parents would die of shame.

I didn’t even have health issues going on. My pregnancy wasn’t high-risk like your wife’s.

Please don’t make a decision you can’t go back from. It not only made me question his love for me, it also made me question his love and care for his child.

Yikes. Let's hope OP makes the right choice!

"At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities."

. -Jean Houston

Laugh when you can as much as you can. These memes will definitely help you start your morning off with a giggle. What could be better?

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At what point does a gesture to show support for a cancer patient become more about you and less about the patient?

Many viral posts and movies have depicted friends and family members who shave their heads to support someone with cancer who is losing their hair from chemo. While it is a grand gesture that is appreciated by some patients, it's not appreciated by all. Many people attach a part of their identity to their hair and losing it for solidarity might not be the best way to support their loved one, especially if there was never a conversation about whether or not the patient would appreciate it.

Plus, there's always the question of where to draw the line. You might not even think twice about shaving your head for your sister or your best friend if that's what they want, but should you feel obligated to make a major change in your appearance for an acquaintance? A neighbor? Your co-worker? That is the exact question that a recent reddit user asked in the "Am I an As*hole?" section AKA the moral compass of the internet.

Let the debate begin!

AITA for not shaving my head alongside my coworkers in support of a coworker with cancer?

I work at a gas station, have for over a year. It's got a small subway inside, and we have a staff of 8 on the gas station side. Subway has a staff of 10.

Our assistant manager on the gas side was diagnosed with cancer and as it usually happens shaved her hair when it began falling out from the chemo.

Everyone in the store has decided to shave their heads in support. Everyone. Both gas station side and subway side. I'm the only one who wont and I'm being treated very passive-aggressively. I'm getting snide comments Time to time, when customers ask why everyone shaved their heads all my coworkers give sarcastic responses clearly aimed at me. It's been a few weeks and I'm getting frustrated. I've mentioned it to my manager and she gave me something how they're frustrated that not everyone seems fully committed to wishing our assistant manager good luck.

I'm a 27 year old guy. I haven't cut my hair in 5 years other than basic trims to remove dead ends and groom it. I'm proud of my hair. I've only cut my hair once since I turned 18. I know it sounds stupid but I am very proud of my hair. I suffer from major depression and my hair is the one thing in my life I feel I have control over, if that makes any sense. Plus I have never found a short hair style that made me feel comfortable or one I felt I looked good in.

"discombobubolated" wrote:

Instead maybe make a donation, or give blood, or volunteer. And if they bug you again, say "I'm not shaving my head but instead I donated in honor of [name]." Donations go farther in cancer research than cutting one's hair, anyway.

"peppered_s" wrote:

Maybe an opinion that will come across as shitty to some people, but shaving your head does literally nothing except make you feel like you're doing something. It's not like there there is a need to raise awareness, or for people to make a stand and declare their opposition to cancer. The fact that you made a relatively large sacrifice doesn't mean anyone else benefited from it.

"tamarynmay" wrote:

Everyone loves to look like they are doing their bit. The people who really get stuff done don't advertise it. And shaming someone over not conforming is really narrow minded and hypocritical. Everyone is trying to empathize with another human being who is suffering, but think it's fine to hurt and belittle another for wanting to feel good about keeping their hard earned hair.

"dumbest" wrote:

OP, you’re NTA at all. I’m a woman and my hair is 3 feet long so I understand the pride and identity that gets tied into it. If people were trying to guilt me into shaving (or even cutting) it, I would have a very difficult time not getting violent with them lmao. You’re not obligated to sacrifice your self esteem in an act of solidarity when there are other ways to show your support.

"cenhinen" wrote:

My mum's friend died from cancer and she absolutely hated the trend of shaving your head to "show support". It's doing something to make yourself feel better and make yourself feel like you're doing something, and her attitude was it's a way to be all "ooh look at me, I'm so thoughtful that I did something which literally only affects me." Donate money instead.

"contender811" wrote:

Sure offering that kind of support is moving, but at the same time it’s a tall order that should not be done involuntarily or under duress.

"twosoxx" wrote:

I’d even argue that shaving your head in solidarity is the laziest way to support someone with cancer. Give them a ride home from chemo or offer to cook/clean/etc for them some time. Others suggested donating money to research or such. Your coworkers are way off base, you don’t owe them a haircut that you don’t want under the guise of “being supportive.” Especially not if they’re gonna be little b words about it, it’s not about the support it’s about posturing and appearances at that point.

"happysam89" wrote:

cancer survivor here and my kid also has cancer. You don’t need to shave your head to show support. I see so many videos of people shaving their hair off to raise “awareness.” I’m pretty sure everyone is aware that cancer exists now. Someone mention blood donation which is way more needed for cancer patients or just needed in general. My kid has had four blood transfusion due to chemo. Many chemo patients also get platelet transfusions. Blood donations all the way. Honestly if you don’t want to do anything to show support you don’t have to!

"plonkydonkey" wrote:

I'm a girl. I have cancer. My hair is gonna fall out one day. But it'll grow back once treatment is over.

You're a guy. If you go bald you ain't ever getting it back.

Enjoy what you have while it lasts, man. Just like I'm trying to enjoy my life while I still have it.

"starry_skyz" wrote:

Your hair, your choice.

So, there you have it! Shaving your head to show support for a cancer patient is a very personal decision and should be done with the patient's best interests in mind! Plus, there are plenty of other ways to show support for a loved one or an acquaintance and every method helps.

The heated debate around vaccinations has showed no signs of slowing in the past few years. Because of the growth of once fringe community of anti-vaxxers has steadily increased in the past decade so much that several U.S. states have implemented personal-belief exemption bans, which means parents can no longer opt out of vaccines due to their belief systems.

Sadly, parents are still finding other loopholes, with many of them switching to religious exemptions, while others choose to homeschool their children or pressure doctors to write notes.

While the reasons people state for opposing vaccines vary, with some feeling largely anti-medicine, others fearing the side effects, and ableists claiming vaccines cause autism even though it's been scientifically disproven, the biggest driver behind the anti-vaxx community is misinformation. And this is where the issue doesn't lie solely on them, but a fractured education system that doesn't equally empower people with the basics of science.

In a recent Twitter thread, someone shared a screenshot of a Facebook post (the internet is truly a winding road) by someone who empathized with the concerns of anti-vaxxers.

In the screenshot, the OP shared that they themselves aren't anti-vaxx, but they understand why parents don't want "those chemicals" in their children's bodies. As an alternative, OP suggested children be given a small piece of the virus so they could build an immunity.

People on Twitter were quick to point out the fact that giving kids a "small piece of the virus" is exactly what vaccines are.

While it's depressing to see OP's blatant disconnect, some people found hope in it, and suggested rebranding vaccines to loop anti-vaxxers back into the fray.

Still, others think piling onto someone for their ignorance isn't the right way to go, and believe this high level of disconnect reflects far more on our education system than individuals.

What do you think - is it better to focus on gently educating those who put our health at risk, or is shaming them into submission a better route?

Can you get expelled from school for eating a rainbow cake outside of school on your 15th birthday?

Apparently in Kentucky you can! According to The Washington Post, Kimberly Alford ordered a cake for her daughter's birthday instructing the bakery to make the colors "pop." The bakery innocently interpreted those instructions and designed a beautiful rainbow cake, but when Alford posted a photo of her daughter with a matching rainbow shirt, chaos ensued.

Alford's daughter Kayla was expelled from her private Christian (surprise!) school, immediately after her birthday when Alford received an email from the academy's head stating the following:

“The WA Administration has been made aware of a recent picture, posted on social media, which demonstrates a posture of morality and cultural acceptance contrary to that of Whitefield Academy’s beliefs,” Jacobson wrote. “We made it clear that any further promotion, celebration or any other action and attitudes counter to Whitefield’s philosophy will not be tolerated.”

First of all, the cake was a birthday cake and not a coming out cake. That being said, even if it was an LGBTQ acceptance cake, discrimination against sexual orientation shouldn't be tolerated in any school, especially a school that prides itself on loving thy neighbor.

The expulsion seems so ridiculous it's pretty hard to believe. However, when the school later said that the decision was actually based on two previous years of conduct violations, they failed to elaborate or justify those claims. Alford admitted to The Washington Post that her daughter had been previously punished for smoking an e-cigarette and cutting lunch, but the fact that the rainbow cake was even considered as a part of the ultimate decision to expel her is ludicrous.

Needless to say, the internet was not impressed with the school...

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That school doesn't deserve you, Kayla!

In the year of our lord 2020, what kind of guy still things that being mean to a woman is a way to get her to like you? A bro leaning on "negging" would at least make some sense when How I Met You Mother as on TV and people thought that Barney Stinson was a cool character, but now?

A bro named Rob tried to endear himself to Reddit user CouchTomato212 by calling her stunning, and then insulting her by saying that she'd "spend more time drinking/partying/on Insta than in a relationship lol."

Dude: just because you say "lol" after being judgemental doesn't mean you're not being an a-hole!

Without sensing her sarcasm, Rob continued to dig himself into more of a hole.

And then she went in for the kill, returning the favor by making broad assumptions based on his profile.

Rob didn't respond. As our heroine writes on Reddit, she was "Promptly blocked after this."

Pro tip: Backhanded compliments are bad pickup lines.

RIP Rob.

In theory, working a theme park is a fun gig. After all, you get to spend your days surrounded by delicious snacks, water slides, roller-coasters, cuties in swimsuits and costumed characters, what's not to love, right?!

Despite the conceptual whimsy of getting paid to hang out at a theme park, the reality is it's a job just like anything else, and that means there are some very, very bad days. In fact, the very aspects that make theme parks fun can also make them incredibly dangerous (hellooo upside-down roller-coasters).

It should be noted that most theme parks are incredibly safe 99% of the time, and statistically, riding a rollercoaster is far safer than riding in a car. However, that 1% makes for some pretty brutal stories.

In a popular Reddit thread, people who have worked in theme parks shared their horror stories, and I honestly hope they're all doing okay today.

1. ledtomadness walked in on a very weird sex scene.

Worked at a Six flags as a sound technician, so I spent most of my time backstage with the characters and actors. One time I walked backstage to find a headless Bugs Bunny and Scooby Doo having sex, costumes just unzipped, not off. Not exactly a horror story but definitely scarring.

2. wockawocka88 hopes the injured girl sues.

I once worked at a water park as a lifeguard supervisor and it was an everyday thing that someone sh*t or threw up in the pools. We even called it a code brown so we weren't straight up saying "uhhh yeah, another turd in the kiddie pool."

Another time we had a rip tide water ride where people could ride body boards like a big wave and while I was talking to another guard I heard the whistle go off like there was an emergency. As I approached, a guard told me that there was a nail in someones foot. I thought he meant someone stubbed their toe and their nail pushed back into their toe but it was an 8 year old girl who had stepped on a 4 inch screw leftover from the maintenance the ride had recently undergone. Right into the heel.

As I saw it I got a little light headed but that what I was trained to do so as I picked her up and pulled her out of the water she moved her foot and it started to come out, but it was still in there a good 3 inches. I put a latex glove on it and told her itd be ok as I called for paramedics. Her damn brothers came up and said that she was gonna ruin their time if they had to leave and i had to tell them to get away. When the paramedics came they picked her up to put her on the stretcher and when they did, that good ol latex glove slid off her foot and got hooked on the screw in the foot causing her, what I believed by her screams, excruciating pain.

Never found out what happened after that but she should have sued. Big payday.

3. okiewxchaser got threatened by an angry dad.

Operated rides for 4 years. 2 moments stand out. The scariest moment I had was when lightning struck a utility pole below me (my position on the ride was about 50ft up) knocking out power to my ride and forcing me and my supervisors to unload the ride in the middle of a lightning storm.

The second was a guy who was very upset that I wouldn't let his kid who was a foot under the height requirement ride. I told him no early in the day, but one of my coworkers let the kid ride while I was on break. The family comes up later and the father who was noticeably drunk, jumps two gates and over the tracks to threaten me with a knife. I called security and he ran.

4.AhrmiintheUnseen watched a child learn.

I used to work at a small water park where there were some dry rides up the southern end. There was this 8-year old kid just being a little sh*t; pushing in line, climbing up the slide of the playground, knocking other kid's hats off, that sort of bullsh*t. I warn him several times then ask him to leave, but he doesn't. I go and ask my supervisor what to do and he says "Get the scissors". He means to cut his wristband, without which he can't go on any rides. I call him over, and he surprisingly complies, and before he can react, I grab his wrist and cut off his wristband.

Naturally, he starts crying like a b*tch. He runs off to get his mum and she comes back about 15 minutes later and comes and talks to me (without her son). She asks why I did what I did, and I explain the situation to her, and how it is standard procedure. She nods and understands, and knows that her son is a demon-child. She leaves, but, lo and behold, 10 minutes later here he comes. He tries to cut in line again and I stop him, and ask him to go back to his mum. His first reaction was to punch me in the balls. Oh shit, no he didn't. My supervisor sees and immediately calls security. Apparently his mum saw too and she comes running.

She doesn't say anything to her child, but goes and tells the supervisor to 'scare' him. When security arrives (30 seconds later) they grab the kid, whirl him around and handcuff him. He's sh*tting himself at this point. They grab him and take him off in their golf cart. A few minutes later they return and the kid has obviously been crying, and hard. He jumps out of the cart and runs straight to his mum, who grabs him and walks out. People watching were stunned, but amazingly, and I sh*t you not, some applauded as they went off. Best day of work I had at that place.

5. Commander_Shepard_ watched a teen make his own waterbed.

When I was a lifeguard lead manager, this sh*t happened.

It was mid July, and it was ~100 degrees outside. Not a cloud in the sky. It was hot for me, wearing a set of khaki shorts and a thick polo shirt. I had the break guards go on water runs as needed, and guards were permitted to rotate by swimming in the pool. This was to keep them happy, and to keep them from dropping like flies in the deathly summer heat.

Naturally, the cycles of the day began like any other. We delegated starting spots, and determined the final rotation based on the number of guards who had shown up, which was all of them. For that, I felt lucky. We had lost 35 guards from the staffing pool as a result of laziness and the usual number of kids who had life's events pop up.

At our park, we had a slide that was about 60 feet high. This slide had three channeled slides that started off like a pipe, and then became fluted (half of a pipe, no upper half) channels. One pipe, and the most popular, was the one slide that went down at an 80 degree angle. It was completely open. You sat down, and slid down the 60 feet withing two seconds. Quite a thrill really, if not a quick one. Two guards manned the ride, one at the bottom and one at the top, to control the antics of the guests at all times.

As midday comes around, I settle into the usual rhythm, occasionally serving as master arbitrator for the minor problems that our guests have. Bored, I begin watching the slides go down. Four people come every 15 seconds, like clockwork, as they should. The technique is flawless on the part of the guards, almost robotic at times. If I were to approach these guards, they would likely be lost in their own world of thoughts and repetitions. At the top, I notice one of the guards turn around as a teenage male prepares to get into the slide. This is a problem.

Teenage males are the trolls of the park, their antics a perpetual source of problems for all staff, from the lowliest trash-kids to the upper echelons of management. Then, I see the kid take two steps backwards. I know what he is about to do. He must be stopped, I think. But, alas, what am I to do? I have no way to contact the lifeguard up top. There is no phone, no radio. I blow my whistle twice. The guards nearby look at me, the guard at the top urns around to find the source of my noise, to find me pointing at the kid.

Too late.

The kid ran and jumped clean off of the slide. Now, up to this point in my life, I had been afraid of things. Getting in trouble at school, failing something miserably. They all made me a tad anxious. A lot of things had made me scared, and a lot of things had made my stomach churn. But nothing, in all of my life, had made this scared until now. Seeing a young man fall to his impending doom and being powerless over it makes you feel terrible. Feeling, by some extension of logic, that you are indirectly responsible for this, makes it even worse. Never, in my life, has my stomach and jaw dropped so fast.

To his credit, he assumed the proper position of arms and legs being crossed. But now he was clean in the air, flying like a lead brick. AS he did so, his body turned ever so slightly. It was something he noticed, and fruitlessly tried to correct for. Instead, he fell some distance before hitting inside the flume and chaotically tumbling down the ride. I called the paramedics immediately, and we had to backboard this kid out of the splashdown flume.

The kid messed up neck pretty badly, broke his fibula I think. He was carted off in an ambulance and put in a brace the moment we got him out. They said he was fine, he walked again, much to my surprise. Other than that, I heard nothing else from upper management.

6. Salvo623 caught a supervisor in a horrible act.

Used to work for a Theme Park back in the 90's called Calaway Park. it was Flintstone's themed park mixed with traditional rides, and all in all was a fun place to work.

I had been working there for 3 months when "the incident" happened. There was a supervisor there that literally EVERYONE hated, and she was nicknamed Grunt. You see Grunt was a heavier set woman with a lung condition and whenever she walked or did anything physical she would groan and grunt. She was a very conservative Jehovah's Witness, the reason EVERYONE hated her was because if you were doing anything she considered wrong she would berate you in front of everyone, customers and staff. It was rarely for anything worthy; like goofing off, or taking a smoke behind the rides. it was for things like a bra strap was visible, playing music on rides of anything that was loud or indecent like "the macarena" I shit you not, she even left a poor girl in tears calling her filthy because she left her post to change her tampon.

The incident:

One evening after the park had closed I walked up the tower to get some extra garbage bags, from above me I heard Grunt, well. . . Grunting. I grabbed my bags and started to head back down the stairs, however as I left Grunt became louder. I headed back upstairs, wondering if she was hurt, but couldn't see here. I unlocked the door to the top of the tower, and saw Grunt and Gordy (not his real name) a special needs worker naked. Gordy was fingering her, and had his other thumb in her ass. She was moaning and grinding her big wookie bush all matted and wet up, and down this kids fingers. I screamed what the f*ck!!!???

They both looked up at my in horror and surprise, Gordy started crying immediately while Grunt did her best to conceal herself. I stood in silence not knowing what to do. eventually I made my way to the Management office explained the situation, and the cops were called. I know Grunt went to prison but not for how long. Calaway handled the situation really well with tact, and Gordy did come back for the next summer. I however quit, not being able to look at the big tower everyday as I came into work.

TL:DR Caught a beast of a Supervisor getting fingered by a special needs worker

Update: Since there are a lot of questions about why she went to prison here is the reason: She was convicted of Sexual Assault, sexual exploitation, and I think one other. "Gordy" didn't have the mental age of someone over 18 (actually he wasn't even that old when it happened) He cant, legally give consent since he cannot understand everything that goes into having sex or the consequences of sex also called informed consent, plus she was in a position of authority over him, another big no no.

7. longbeachguy watched a guy paralyze himself.

I worked at Raging Waters in San Dimas, Ca for a few summers in high school/college. Great job: walking distance from home, got to work on my tan, hot and cold running chicks.

Anyway, this was the summer of 1987--I was just about 17. I was on lifeguard duty at the top of Drop Out (Drop Out was our huge slide that went up about 70 or so feet and slide straight down--no twists or turns--just straight down into a shallow slip of water.

I'm doing my thing: telling people to lie down and cross their arms across their chest so I could gently nudge them over the edge. It didn't take much for me to slide them over--literally a slight tug was all it took.

Mid-shift, out of nowhere, a group of 20-somethings get to the front of the line--must have been about four guys--maybe a girl, too. The one alpha guy of the pack tells me, "Hey, let me slide myself off." And before I could say anything (I was told by lawyers that witnesses heard me yell at him to "Get down"), he hoists himself up on top of the horizontal platform of the slide (where one's supposed to lay down so I can slide them down) and takes a f*cking running hop over the ledge. I think what he was trying to do was a cannon ball and land with his back against the slide--that's my theory.

Like they say when something bad happens, everything was in slow-motion.

The guy got lots of air, I don't think he realized that the drop is almost 90 degrees down. In mid-air, he tried to self-correct his jump--his arms and legs wildly trying to feel for anything to grab on to. It never happened. Thinking about it as I write this, it was sort of like Wile E. Coyote when he runs off a cliff and for a split second or two, he hangs there in the air realizing he's f*cked.

Somehow, he free-fell between both slides (Drop Out has two identically slides about 2 feet apart) and hit every iron crossbar that held up the seven-story deck.

Here's a video of the ride I found on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5fOdE5VjfA

Those aqua-green cross-beams above the point of the drop on each slide weren't there in '87. If they were, the guy never could have jumped.

So the guy falls 70 feet, hitting pretty much ever steel girder on the way down. He lands at the base of the slide with just about every bone in his body broken--compound fractures everywhere. He ended up in a wheelchair for the rest of his life and settled for about a tenth of what he tried to sue for--yep, the a*shole tried to sue the park and me.

Luckily, there were dozens of witnesses who saw and heard me yelling at the guy to get off the slide. It was also passed along to be by one of the managers later that he was royally loaded out out his mind.

Lots of near drownings and lost bikini tops at that job, but this Drop Out story is the one everyone wanted to hear that summer.

8. ilovegarybusey got the last laugh.

The worst thing that's happened is a guy spitting in my face and starting to film me with his phone while screaming at me that he was going to sue the company I work for because I confronted him when he tried to trip one of my performers during a Halloween event. He was drunk. He was arrested. We all laughed at his mug shot the next day.

9. tweetattom was threatened for doing their job.

I don't know if these count as "horror stories" as there's no injury or gore involved, but here's a couple things that happened to me while interfacing with the theme park going public.

I was managing a few ride photo booths and I was in one of them talking to an employee when a guy looked at our prices, picked out the package of four photos for $20, and said "$20 for one photo? That's unfair to families." I told him that the price was $20 for 4, and if he'd like a single photo, it was $10. He got very close to my face and growled "Are you getting smart with me?" I told him no, tried to walk him through the different prices, and he kept saying "Are you getting smart with me?" Finally I just walked away round to the back of the booth to check on some stock, during which point he told my employee that if he saw me again, I was getting punched in the face.

TL;DR: Guy wanted to punch me in the face for telling him the prices.

10. TubbytheIDD is so glad the kid survived.

Worked at King's Island on a ride called Diamondback. One day the train came back and this kid (~10 or 12 years old) was completely unconscious. He was slumped over in his seat being held up by his mother. (For those of you who don't know. The seats on Diamondback are lap bars, so this kid was literally like folded in half slumped over. Also, the ride is smooth as silk, so he didn't hit his head or anything.)

Anyway, we immediately call 911 (inside the park, any park telephones route to the park's first aid station when you call 911)meanwhile all we can legally do as teens who weren't medically trained was offer a subpar first aid kit (2 gauze pads, a box of band aids, and some other misc items) and water. I had to stand there completely helpless watching his parents try to wake him up.

They said he passed out while going up the first hill (230 feet) and they had to hold him up to keep from flopping around throughout the entire ride. When the first aid cart got there, they lifted him off the seat and onto a stretcher and wheeled him off the ride, and he regained consciousness near the entrance of the ride. My area supervisor asked us all if we were okay to keep working and said if we needed to we can all go home. It was terrifying.

I thought the kid was dead and the moment I saw him slumped in his seat is still etched in my mind. That memory isn't the worst part though. Standing there, legally unable to do anything even if I knew how, while the mother was crying, just trying to get a response while the father tried to keep it together for the boy's sister, is the most haunting memory I have and I think it will be for a while.

11. lil-praying-mantis's cousin had a deeply traumatizing work day.

My cousin had a summer job at a really run-down theme park. It was probably awesome in the 50's... but not so much anymore.

One day one of her coworkers dove in front of a roller coaster for no reason. Suicide right next to innocent children. Everyone said he was a normal person, but clearly fucking not.

Edit: Let me also add the time that... hmm let me just save time and post this article from the place's Wikipedia page. Literally so many accidents that it has it's own recognition. Also my bad, he died the next day from it. The roller coaster wasn't fast enough to kill him.

12. italianstallion2 doesn't want to relive that day.

I worked as a lifeguard for a while at a water park. The wooden building behind the wave pool caught on fire one day (probably because of an employee smoking in there). The park had to be evacuated and people were passing out in the parking lot left and right since it was about 100 degrees outside. The building burned down, along with all of the ride tubes that were stored in there. It was one of the worst days I've ever had to work.

13. Obvious_Moose worked in a maze from hell.

I worked for the halloween events for a theme park in my area (won't say the name, but it might be on the border between two states).

I got kicked in the face and almost broke my nose. I was given a break for as long as it took for my nose to stop bleeding, and that counted as my only break for the evening (we got under 30 minutes of break time for a 8 hour shift).

Another guy actually got fired because he had a migraine and had to go to the first aid area until it was over. It took something like two hours, and they fired him for it.

We were also the "maze" closest to the only place that served alcohol in the park, so we had to deal with drunk a*sholes and sh*tty kids fairly often. Someone choked a girl working in the maze.

The maze almost burned down a few times because assholes decided that a dried corn maze was a good place to smoke a f*cking cigarette.

I had a lot of fun most of the time, but I had to deal with a bunch of stupid shit on a nightly basis.

14. LipstickSingularity was traumatized by the wave pool.

Worked at a Paramount Park several years back as a lifeguard. The grossest part is that the giant wave pool is not drained/refilled all summer. By the end of the summer, when the wave pool was turned off at the end of the night, you could see sunscreen oil slicks on the surface and all of the band-aids and hair ties would settle into a giant disgusting mass. A few times I saw guards go in after money, but I can assure you it wasn't worth it.

After the waterpark closed, I filled in on Rides duty. One time I filled in as a height-checker because the girl who did it before me had her arm broken by a psycho dad who tried to take her wristbands (which were used to indicate kids' height) from her for his kid who was too short to ride safely.

15. nightofgrim got their fill of poop.

My first job out of high school was at a theme park.

Nothing crazy, just a lot of poop. Kids would poop on rides, adults would poop on rides, it was a daily poop fest. At the time I was under 18 so it was always awesome when it happened because I had to shut the ride down and call in for cleanup instead of doing it myself.

Diarrhea on a roller coaster is not fun for anyone on the ride.

16. Oysterchild has heard of the beak collision.

Never had a lot of horror stories, as a lot was quite safe.

But before I worked there, a woman went on Stealth (very fast and very high) and it hit a bird mid flight, and part of it's beak went into her arm.

But apart from that, the constant sick.

17. duckstuff has true horror stories.

Well I Worked at Busch Gardens Williamsburg and I have two stories:

First Story (WTF):

I was working as a ride operator on the Big Bad Wolf (now torn down). It was a slow day for us so my area manager had me move from my current position to help out the area staff (cleans the park) in a busier part. I didn't mind because most of the time you just walk around and take in the sights. I also like to keep it clean and the park is usually pretty damn clean. I then got a radio call to come to the men's bathroom at the German Festhaus. Now usually this would mean there is an over flow in the trash or some toilet paper on the ground FROM INCONSIDERATE NESTERS (you know who you are!). Well i walked in and instantly realized something was wrong.

The smell.... Oh My God the smell. It was so thick I could taste it. I walked past the open stalls and still nothing could be seen but the smell got stronger. The last stall was in sight and it was the handicap stall.l I went to the door and opened it..... inside.... was what looked like a caveman painting of horses and arrows but drawn in human feces. It was everywhere....literally everywhere. I immediately went to a couple of stalls over and threw up. I then radioed in that the men's bathroom was a big nope from me and put an out of order sign on it..... not touching that literal sh*t Picasso that was going on in there.

Story 2 (Sad):

This is a sad story and one that has managed to stick with me for a long time. I was on break. The park was hot like 94 degrees out with the humidity squeezing my neck. The park was packed with walking room no better than rush hour traffic. My friend was a park medic who only has been working for about four months... lets call her Shelly. Well we were talking and an alarm came in over the radio stating a guest has past out next to her child. She immediately left our conversation and took off running.

The next time I saw her I was clocking out and she was walking to her cry crying. I asked her what was wrong and she let the water works go. Shelly looked up and told me what really happened. An old lady came to the park with her grandaughter. The grandmother was waiting on a bench while her daughter played in a splash zone. The grandmother collapses and the daughter runs over just as the woman starts bleeding from her eyes, nose, mouth, and fingernails. Shelly is there moments later as a manager was buy her side in panic. Shelly immediately starts trying to check her vitals as the girl grabs her arm and begs her not to let her grandma die. The grandmother died shortly after. Shelly quit that day.

18. Trebor417 watched pigeon heartbreak unfold.

One time I saw a pigeon get obliterated by someone's face one one of those pendulum rides that spin and swing, it landed just in front of me, in the queue, and it's claw grabbed the air in its last motion as a trickle of blood ran off the edge of the ride and into the water underneath. the worst part was when it's little pigeon lover was looking out sadly from their nest which they'd decided to make in the triangular 'legs' of the ride.

19. T-Money2187 is lucky to be alive.

We were walking around the amusement park (wasn't open) in Mosul, Iraq looking for a mortar team that was reported to be in the area and a sniper took a couple of shots at us. Does that count?

20. SeasonalManagement has dealt with some serious theme park drama.

Having worked in Rides at an amusement park for 8 years I have plenty of stories, but very few sound good without context.

I'll take a swing at 2...

There was a supervisor that worked under me, he was awful. Totally regret promoting him. He was passionate about the park but wasn't able to handle his role. Long story short he got demoted and then the night before we opened the following he sent me this text. That was funny.

The next story was the only true time I was scared while at work. We had a ride breakdown, surprisingly normal, however the train was stuck in such a way that we were unable to reach two rows of the train. It just so happened that in one of those rows was a lady that was having a severe panic or asthma attack (Our First Aid team took over when she got off) and wouldn't/couldn't calm down or get her breathing under control. Luckily mom was near by and had an inhaler. The ride was a flying coaster so the guests were laying on their backs while stuck and I was able to toss the inhaler and land it right on her chest. Between Mom, First Aid personnel, and myself we were able to get her calmed down while we wait for maintenance to pull the train into place.

I whole ordeal only took 10-15 minutes but it felt like an hour.

People stuck on rides always seem to think their lives are in danger when in reality they're safer in the seat than I am standing on the catwalk next to them. But this woman was the only time I felt someone was in real danger and it scared the shit out of me.