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Chrissy Teigen responds to guy on Instagram who accused her of Photoshopping her butt.

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Chrissy Teigen, roast comic extraordinairre, has a response to a troll that also includes some practical advice.

Because Teigen is beautiful and famous and stuff, people think that they can say anything about her or to her, and have yet to learn that she is not afraid to call them out.

The Teigz posted a pic showing off her butt a random pair of leggings she got sent from a stranger.

View this post on Instagram

we get ... really random stuff sent to the house

A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on

While having weird stuff sent to your address might sound like the creepiest this gets, a dude then decided to chime in on how her butt looks and accuse her of Photoshopping the picture.

(While it is unclear, which their emoji profile picture and vulgar screename, whether or not @f*cksympathy is a dude, "f*ck sympathy" followed by this comment is such a bro-ey thing to do.)

The bro was referring to this famous paparazzi pic, in which a squinting John Legend appeared to be disappointed by his wife's lack of an a**.

Chrissy has no butt and she cannot lie.

The supermodel clapped back at the troll with an insult, which doubled as a testament to the power of posing.

Teigen joked that the guy has probably never been behind a girl on all fours before.............because he has never been to a yoga class.

That's the PG interpretation, but yeah, the joke is definitely that "f*cksympathy" is too much of an a-hole to get laid.

The people got it, and liked it.

Do I feel bad for him?

F*ck sympathy.


Mom shares funny text exchange with neighbor who saw her son standing naked at the window staring.

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Kids really don't have the shame around nudity that adults have, and it's a beautiful thing. If small children had their way, pants would always be optional and society would function like a sprinkler party. And in a world without creeps or safety issues, this mindset would take us all to a much more joyful existence.

But alas, in our current world pants and shoes are both expected and required to venture out and interact with others. So, when kids decide to toss away the burdens of clothes it can be both hilarious and inconvenient. If this is confined to the home, it's usually not a big deal, but windows still exist, and a child's lack of shame can make for some amusing neighbor sightings.

The mom-of-two Jeni Boysen quickly went viral after sharing a funny text exchange with her neighbor and friend Laura, who spotted Boysen's youngest son Dax standing naked in front of the window.

The neighbor assured Boysen she had already deleted the photo, but wanted to show her just how funny it was to peek outside her window and see a nude child solemnly gazing into the abyss.

Ya know. Sometimes you think you’re doing okay at life and then you get a message like this from a neighbor. I just cried I laughed so hard 😂😂😂 This is exactly the laughter I needed tonight.

Posted by Jeni Boysen on Monday, February 3, 2020

Boysen shared the exchange to Facebook where it quickly grew in popularity due to Dax's glorious lack of inhibition.

She wrote:

"Ya know. Sometimes you think you’re doing okay at life and then you get a message like this from a neighbor. I just cried I laughed so hard 😂😂😂

This is exactly the laughter I needed tonight."

The thread quickly filled up with comments from other moms and people who appreciated Dax's approach to life.

People also marveled at the beauty of having a neighbor friend who can comfortably share this moment. If Boysen and Laura weren't on a texting level, this joyful moment would have been completely lost.

Dax was just trying to gaze at the world free from the confines of shirts and pants, and that's a sentiment we can all relate to.

31 people share the overused comments and jokes they're tired of hearing about their jobs.

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When I used to wait tables, about 50% of dads who came in to the restaurant joked "hated it!" after eating everything on their plates. Broke my dad's heart when I told him the news—he thought he came up with this joke. As a waiter, I heard tons of clichés delivered by patrons as original jokes—of course, it's well-intentioned, so you have no choice but to laugh it off (plus you need that tip). But after the 1000th time, these phrases and jokes can start to grate on your nerves. And this phenomenon is not confined to the service industry.

A guy named Pete Paphides asked people on Twitter to share the things that people say to them in their line-of-work, thinking they're the first ones to say it:

These 33 people in a whole range of careers share the cliché jokes and comments they're sick of hearing:

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People encourage woman to dump her boyfriend for being angry her OB/GYN is male.

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Imagine thinking that there is anythign sexual or romantic about a pap smear.

A woman who joined Reddit under the username throwawayobgyyyyyyn asked the "Am I The A**hole?" forum whether she was an a**hole for telling her boyfriend not to come to her OB/GYN appointment, and not disclosing that her OB/GYN is a man.

She wrote:

Basically: my boyfriend wanted to accompany me to my OBGYN visit, I told him that I don't like when there are men present in the waiting room and that there's almost never any men there as other women seem to share this feeling. I consider the OBGYN to be something of a safe female space. My boyfriend was okay with that explanation and didn't insist on accompanying me.

Some time later the topic of OBGYN came up in a conversation and I said something about my doctor and I suppose a pronoun or two revealed that my doctor is a man. It just never came up before, there wasn't ever a reason to discuss the genders of my various doctors. My boyfriend got angry and reminded me how I told him that the OBGYN office is a female space for me and how hypocritical that is given that my doctor is a man.

She tried to explain to her boyfriend that a medical professional performing an exam and a dude hanging out with other patients in the waiting room are different scenarios, but he was not having it:

Well, for me there is a huge difference between a professional doctor and random guys who sit around the waiting room and making everyone awkward. Sure, men are not forbidden entry, but most guys who come with their partners just chill out in the hallway or in a coffee shop next door. The waiting room is also catering to women only, with chick-lit books, women magazines, only a female toilet, etc.

My boyfriend told me that I'm being ridiculous if a man sitting in the waiting room makes me uncomfortable but having another man rummage around in my crotch is okay (his phrasing).

Am I the asshole for not telling my BF that my doctor is male? Especially given the context when I told my bf I don't want him to accompany me and make other women feel awkward.

Hold up: this dude called gynocology "rummaging around the crotch"? I think we found our a**hole (Not the crotch. Him).

The AITA jury ruled that not only is this woman not the a**hole, but she should dump this dude ASAP.

"NTA (Not The A**hole). Tthere is no reason for your [boyfriend] to accompany you to a doctor's appointment unless you want him there. Also, the only person who needs to be confortable with your doctor's gender is you. You are setting appropriate boundaries and making appropriate decisions for your body. Your bf needs to drop this," wrote Eeelaineee42.

"[What the f*ck] It's your DOCTOR we're talking about here what does his gender matter? He's a MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. Would a male dentist be a problem too? Your boyfriend sounds extremely controlling--a big red flag," SadStarBoy added.

There was also a decent amount of people declaring that "Everyone Sucks Here."

JudgyLurker commented:

You both sound immature. First off it's none of his business what obgyn you use. Super controlling and major red flags. Secondly you are being weird about the no man in the waiting room stuff. While I wouldn't bring my husband to my yearly visit he was at all my pregnancy [appointments] to see the ultrasounds.

Maybe she should take her boyfriend with her to the doctor. A different boyfriend.

22 Memes To Help You Start Your Morning Off With A Giggle.

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Another day another reason to laugh. This collection of utterly random memes is guaranteed to crack you up today. Share with any of your friends who could use a chuckle this morning.

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21 of the funniest tweets about the 2020 Oscars.

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Sunday night marked the 92nd Annual Academy Awards, and per usual, it was a night full of audacious outfits, tear-jerking speeches, overdue winners (as well as overrated winners), and an endless of abyss of tweets about the Oscars.

Last night's Oscars left many wiping away happy tears over Parasite's win for Best Picture, dissociating to cope with Eminem's bizarre performance, and feverishly roasting countless designer outfits.

Whether you tuned in the whole time or missed the festivities, one of the best ways to sum up this year's Oscars is by sitting back with a hot beverage and enjoying the funniest tweets. So, for your reading pleasure, here are just a handful that truly capture the spirit of last night.

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Adam Sandler applauded for using his Spirit Award acceptance speech to 'roast' the Oscars for snubbing him.

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On Saturday night, Adam Sandler won the Film Independent Spirit Award for best male lead for his role in "Uncut Gems."

While his Independent Spirit Award was a much deserved win, fans of Sandler, the Safdie brothers, and "Uncut Gems" in general have been up in arms over the movie getting snubbed by the Oscars.

So, in true form, Sandler wasted no time roasting the Oscars during his acceptance speech, while making fun of himself and the general discourse around his acting choices.

While employing a trade-mark bizarre Sandler voice, the comedian joked about how the other nominees will now be remembered as the people who "lost to Adam F*cking Sandler" and went on to make fun of the ways the Oscars mirrors high school popularity contests.

"A few, you know, a few weeks back, when I was quote-unquote snubbed by the Academy, it reminded of when I briefly attended high school and was overlooked for the coveted yearbook superlative category 'Best Looking.' That accolade was given to a jean-jacket-wearing featherhead douchebag by the name of Skipper Jenkins."

"But my classmates did honor me with the allegedly less-prestigious designation of 'Best Personality.' And tonight, as I look around this room, I realize, the Independent Spirit Awards are the Best Personality awards of Hollywood. So let all those featherhead douchebag motherf*ckers get their Oscars tomorrow night! Their handsome good looks will fade in time, while our independent personalities will shine on forever!"

Compared to many of the flowery and formal speeches given at these awards shows, Sandler's expletive-laden roast fest was a breath of fresh air.

People took to twitter to applaud his candor and self-awareness, and the way he simultaneously expressed gratitude and shade.

Others joked about how the Oscars snubbed "Uncut Gems" because the Academy couldn't handle Sandler taking the stage with his joke voice.

It's clear the Academy made a grave mistake by snubbing "Uncut Gems," because the movie itself deserved more glow, but also because a Sandler speech would've given the Oscars a rating boost.

Hopefully, members of the Academy watched this speech online (or IRL) and are nursing big regrets for their snub, if not, their power will surely fade away alongside Skipper Jenkins' high school good looks.

17 behind-the-scenes Instagram posts from celebs at the 2020 Oscars.

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We all know the juiciest stuff from the Oscars goes down behind-the-scenes, for every glossy red carpet shot of a celebrity looking their best, there's a gossip session in the bathroom we'll never know about, or a sloppy interaction at an after-party.

While it's ultimately healthy that us voyeurs aren't given a window into every single thing celebrities do at the Oscar, it's still hard to fight the pangs of curiosity about what really goes on behind-the-scenes.

At this point, scouring celebrity social media accounts is the most efficient way to get our injection of FOMO, so I've gathered a handful from before, after, and during last night's Oscars.

1. Saoirse Ronan looking fab.

2. Timothee Chalamet checking in with his followers.

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who’s going to watch tonight ? ☺️

A post shared by Timothée Chalamet (@tchalamet) on

3. Margot Robbie stunting, per usual.

View this post on Instagram

OSCARS ✨

A post shared by @ margotrobbie on

4. Taika Waititi creating space.

5. Josh Gad's marital bliss.

6. Spike Lee and Tonya Lewis serving looks.

View this post on Instagram

Da Lee’s Are In Da House.💜💜💜

A post shared by Spike Lee (@officialspikelee) on

7. America Ferrera decimating us with beauty.

8. Gemma Chan keeping it real with snacks.

View this post on Instagram

Happy #Oscars day. Don't forget snacks.

A post shared by Gemma Chan (@gemma_chan) on

9. Joaquin Phoenix and Rooney Mara chowing down.

10. Eminem and Elton John broing out.

11. The Fab Five making a glorious Instagram appearance with Elton John.

12. Saoirse Ronan working the red carpet.

13. Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz sharing a needed snack.

14. Rebel Wilson connecting with Brad Pitt.

View this post on Instagram

Told ya x 🥰

A post shared by Rebel Wilson (@rebelwilson) on

15. Mark Ruffalo's adorable selfie with Timothee Chalamet and Mahershala Ali.

16. Reese Witherspoon's honest after party confession.

17. Charlize Theron celebrating in style.


5 people having a worse Monday than you.

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5. Eminem, because people's confused reactions to his surprise appearance was the meme of the Oscars.

Guess who's back. Back again.

Last night was the 92nd Academy Awards, and the Academy shocked everybody by awarding Best Picture to a worthy film: Bong Joon Ho's Parasite.

The Oscars making history with the first-ever foreign language Best Picture (and Best Original Screenplay and Best Director for Bong) was thrilling, and robbed the public of it's annual post-Oscar anger (Green Book, anyone?).

One person who is walking around upset about last night is Eminem, whose random appearance singing the Mom's Spaghetti song was perplexing to people at home and in the audience.

Eminem won the Oscar for Best Original Song back in 2003, and for some reason, that is something to celebrate almost two decades later.

There was no explanation or context, just.........Marshall Mathers.

Reactions from celebrities in the audience quickly went viral, with a lot people suddenly declaring, "MARTIN SCORSESE IS ALL OF US!"

"This is the weirdest Oscar moment since Adele Dazeem."
"he's a... bad guy."
"I'd rather be watching a Marvel movie."

We can't tell whether or not Eminem saw Scorsese's reaction to his presence, but his palms were sweaty. Knees weak, arms were heavy.


4. Lori Loughlin, because the Feds are realising evidence from her fraud case.

Fraud Goals.

Better call Becky with the good resume.

New documents released by federal prosecutors include the fake rowing resume that pitched Olivia Jade to USC as the ultimate crewing recruit.

The resume lists Olivia Jade Giannulli's impressive accomplishments, including 2 gold medals, 2 silver medals, and 2 bronzes, despite having never set food it in a rowboat.

The resume boasts that Olivia is "highly talented and has been successful in both men's and women's boats," which isn't a lie if the boat is a yacht.

Becky and her husband argue that they have no idea who made the resume, and had no knowledge of anyone bribing the university.

Stay tuned: the drama will play out in federal court this spring.


3. Pete Buttigieg, because he got booed in New Hampshire, and tomorrow's the primary.

Putting the "boo" in Buttigieg.

This weekend was a glitzy pageant of celebrities giving political speeches, and also the Oscars.

Saturday night in New Hampshire was the annual Democratic Party dinner, which featured the remaining presidential candidates pitching themselves to voters sitting in stadium-style seating.

Pete's speech laid down the track for a loud chorus of "Wall Street Pete" chants, which definitely came from Bernie Sanders supporters, and maybe even Amy Klobuchar and Elizabeth Warren supporters.

He also got a delightfully shady anti-endorsement from America's shaman, Marianne Williamson, who pledged to personally call a Buttigieg supporter and tell her to reconsider.

She posted this incredibly unsubtle subtweet against him as well.

Polls show Bernie as firmly in the lead in the New Hampshire primary, with Klobuchar surging among the moderates. The Klob Glob is forming.

This might seem like a non-ideal position for a politician to be in, but if Iowa is any indication, Pete will declare victory in New Hampshire anyway before any results are reported.


2. The guy who got banned from the library for drinking beer and watching porn on a public computer.

The porn wasn't the problem...it was the noises.

Clarence Stoll of Sandusky, Ohio has been banned from his local library after getting caught getting busy (with himself) at the computer and drinking beer.

A fellow book lover approached an officer about the jerk jerking it in the library, and when they confronted Stoll, he gave the officer his brother's name. Stoll didn't *get off* though, as one of the officers recognized him from somewhere.

Stoll will now be charged with trespassing if he goes to the library within the next 60 days.

This isn't the worst sex crime involving Sandusky.


1. The guy who fell through ice on the Mississippi River because "Google Maps told him to cross it."

Google Maps made him Google "hypothermia."

Minneapolis firefighters rescued a man from ice at 3 AM on Saturday morning, after the presumably drunk dude started walking across the partly-frozen river, trying to cross it.

"The man told firefighters that Google Maps told him to cross the river. The Minneapolis Fire Department says that the app most likely told him to cross the Stone Arch Bridge, not walk across the river," CBS Minnesota reports.

Apple Maps, on the other hand, definitely told him to drown.

The 10 most awkward moments at the 2020 Oscars.

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The Oscars are a huge deal because we all "care about movies" or whatever. But let's be honest, the real reason most of us tune in to the annual awards show is to watch celebrities put their Manolo Blahnik-clad feet in their mouths. There's nothing more satisfying than watching the rich and famous embarrass themselves at a live event that the world is watching (sorry Warren Beatty but the great Oscars gaff of 2017 was one of the greatest moments of my life).

So, while last night's Oscars ceremony may have been replete with stunning garments and moving speeches, that's not what I came here to talk about. And it's not why you clicked.

I have compiled the 10 most awkward, cringe-worthy, and painfully hilarious moments from the 2020 Academy Awards.

Because it's always fun to rejoice in the temporary shame of people with way more fame and money than most of us can ever dream of.

1.) Josh Gad roasting John Travolta's infamous "Adele Dazeem" moment.

“As a dad to two girls and the voice of the American Olaf,” said Gad while introducing Menzel. “The iconic and brilliant Idina Menzel, pronounced exactly how it is spelled, is our Elsa.”

ICYMI:

2.) Joaquin Phoenix vs. artificial cow insemination.

Phoenix accepted the Best Actor award for The Joker but his acceptance speech was anything but a joke. Phoenix went after everything from racism to cancel culture to animal cruelty in a sincere, impassioned 127-minutes-long (or so it felt) rant against injustice. He made a lot of good points and the only thing that was awkward about it was how long it went on, and that bit about cow insemination. Is Joaquin Phoenix running for President?

3.) Eminem made a surprise appearance and so did the year 2003.

All anyone wanted to talk about on Twitter last night was Eminem making a surprise appearance to perform his song "Lose Yourself" which did win an Oscar.....17 years ago. Only, he didn't show up to perform it until last night, 17 years later.

Was he....stuck in traffic? People had a lot of questions about why Eminem decided to show up 17 years later to perform the hit song from 8 Mile. It seems this is the answer:

The song did receive a standing ovation, but many couldn't help but point out the weirdness of having a white rapper who won 17 years ago show up to an event widely criticized for its lack of diversity. Talk about (slim) shady.

4.) Renée Zellweger's cringey acceptance speech.

Zellweger won the Best Actress category for her portrayal of Judy Garland in Judy. And her acceptance speech was bizarre and rambling, but at least she remembered to thank just about everyone who had nothing to do with the movie Judy.

Her speech may have been an insult to Garland's legacy and everyone trying to sit through it, but it was a gift to Twitter.

5.) Rebel Wilson and James Corden dressed up as cats.

There were many moments from last night's Oscars ceremony that made me ask the question: "am I high?" And the award for Best Moment that Made Me Seriously Question If The Popcorn Was Spiked With Acid goes to James Corden and Rebel Wilson dressing up in full-body cat costumes to roast the movie Cats while giving out an award for best visual effects to a movie that was definitely not Cats.

6.) Steve Martin mispronouncing the name of the only black acting nominee.

The Oscars has been under fire for its lack of diversity for as long as there's been a platform to call them out. The least the presenters could do is make an effort to pronounce the names correctly of the non-white individuals who made the cut. But the awards show isn't exactly known for rising to this task and last night was no exception.

Luckily, Erivo overshadowed this clumsy flub with her absolutely earth-shattering rendition of "Stand Up."

7.) Diane Keaton was possibly under-the-influence of...every drug?

Was Diane Keaton wasted at the Oscars? Probably. We stan Diane, even if she did seem like your drunk friend who needs to be put in an Uber home before she does something regrettable. Like drop the paper with the Oscar announcement on it. Oops, too late.

8.) Billie Eilish throwing shade at a pair of comedy icons.

The intentionally funniest moment from last night's ceremony was without question Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig singing "Lady in Red." The moment deserved its own Academy Award. It did not deserve the face Billie Eilish was caught making.

To be fair, she's a teen. Showing respect for one's elders is not exactly what teens are known for.

9.) Someone stepping on Olivia Coleman's dress and not apologizing.

Speaking of respect, the award for Most Hated Oscars Guest goes who whoever stepped on Olivia Coleman's dress and nearly tripped her, then didn't apologize.

Coleman, the Queen, made up for it with her hilarious and memorable presenter speech.

10.) The lights went dim while the Parasite crew were still on stage making speeches.

Ummm, rude? The Parasite cast and crew weren't done with their acceptance speeches for Best Picture when the lights were dimmed. The whole audience had to start chanting "up! up! up!" to get them to turn the lights back up.

Oscars soooooo awkward.

17 teachers share stories of matching with their students on dating apps.

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Online dating apps are a great way for single people to meet other single people. And they sure beat leaving the comfort of your own home to gamble on finding a stranger whose face and personality you can tolerate enough to bone. But they have some major downsides, including the fact that you are pretty much inevitably going to run in to friends, exes, co-workers, or other people you never wanted to think about in a romantic or sexual way. For teachers, dating apps can be an especially awkward and terrifying minefield. Because students could be lurking at every swipe, lying about their age, or filtering their faces beyond recognition.

Someone asked teachers of Reddit to share stories of matching with students on Tinder. People responded with a range of stories about teachers and students or employers and employees encountering each other on dating apps.

Here are 16 stories about awkward matches, inappropriate right-swipes, and other examples of online dating gone wrong (or in some cases, right):

1.) From Joe434:

I unmatched with them as soon as I realized who it was . We still had a month left in the semester , and she never brought it up . I teach in higher ed ., so it’s “legal”, but definitely not worth the headaches and professional fallout it could potentially cause .

2.) From SalemScout:

My roommate unknowingly matched with a guy who had just graduated from the school where I taught. It was a kind of funny passing comment of "Oh, I matched with a guy who graduated from X school."

We both assumed that it wouldn't be one of my students because I taught sophomores for the most part and this kid was a graduated senior, so we figured it was a funny coincidence rather than weird.

She invited him over to our place to hang out. He walked in and introduced himself before he and my roommate went to hang out in her room and watch a movie.

I had to text my roommate that the kid had obviously lied about something because A: he was current senior, not a graduated one, and B: I'd had him as a student in my Newspaper class.

Turned out he lied about his age (said he was 19) and pretended that he didn't know me despite the fact he had class with me.

Nice kid, but he never got invited around again.

3.) From canofelephants:

I matched with one of my online professors last semester. He has a unique name and once I realized who he was I unmatched. Even if it's legal... and at our ages, it would be. It's still a small town and I didn't want to bring the drama on us.

4.) From PM_ME_B00TY_PICZZZ:

I once drunk splurged on Tinder Gold (or whatever the fuck it’s called) and noticed my CURRENT intern had swiped right on me.

Yeah, I had to ignore that one for a while. All the while keeping that secret for the rest of semester.

5.) From PMME_ur_lovely_boobs:

I'm a resident and I've matched with a few medical students, but so far none of them have been under me in their rotations.

6.) From Sirnando138:

Oh damn! This just happened to a regular at my local. We are there having drinks, as we often do, and he starts telling me that he matched with his 8th grade English teacher, who was 24 when he was 13. Not a crazy age difference. So they chatted and laughed about the coincidence and how weird it was. But they ended up talking for hours about life, how they’re both divorced. Decided what the hell and agreed to meet. At our bar. That night. She was there like an hour later. She seemed super fun and looked great for 46. They sat next to me and my wife and we all had fun talking but then they moved to a booth to be alone. 90 mins and good amount of shots later, they are kissing in the booth. About 10 mins later, they are paying their tab and ordering a car to the nearest bedroom. It’s been about 3 weeks and they are still hanging out! They really like each other. It’s kinda creepy but sweet. He seems happier than usual.

7.) From PiccadillyPorch:

Not tinder, but teacher related...

I had a friend who was up for ANYTHING. Flirted with everyone, hooked up with anyone. Give him a dare and he’d do it before you finished talking. Full of crazy ideas and no limits. Any girl could walk up to him and kiss him out if the blue and he’d be on board immediately. Lots of fun and we all assumed there would be nothing he’d say no to.

..... until one night we all walked into a bar in our early 20’s and a girl danced up to him for some close quarters work. Without a pause he immediately turned around, handed his full drink to a stranger, said we’re leaving and walked out without turning around to see if we were behind him. After about half a block of fast walking he told us she had been a student of his LAST YEAR and still attended his school. He teaches Grade 10 Math. Even though drinking age is only 19 here she obviously got in with fake ID.

One of the group made a joke about him getting so freaked out bc he must have been in trouble for hooking up with a student before, and the lecture he rounded on him about taking advantage of kids sexually when you’re in a position of authority made it clear that he wasn’t scared of repercussions, it was his limit, the one thing he wouldn’t do. Ever.

8.) From XN28thePOS:

My youngest brother (24) matched up with a seemingly nice girl on tinder. They started dating afterwards. She was a probation officer for the county and had been doing it for a few years. My brother was and is currently on probation for arson. They were together for about 6 months when they came to dinner at my place, during which I asked her about her job. She told me she is a probation officer. I then ask her if them being together is a problem since he is on probation.

She froze for a good minute, then said she didnt know that he was on probation. The rest of dinner was awkward. Couple weeks later when talking to my brother he told me that she decided to stay with him, even though it was against the rules for her job. I guess she was hoping they would never find out, but they did less than a week later. She got fired and will probably never work in that field again.

My brother broke up with her the next month. He had the nerve to tell me that he broke up with her because she was being lazy, had no money, and was depressed a lot. I told him he was a giant fucking scumbag. I dont think he even understood why she was depressed. He did not feel bad at all and didnt think he was to blame, even a little bit. He is a big piece of shit.

9.) From Connie_Greene:

I matched with a teacher when I was 27 and she was 76, she said "I knew you'd make it at least this far" then unmatched me...

Edit: this blew up and for anyone wondering I found out it was a prank that my friend and my brother was pulling on me, and most of you are right, my brother changed my age range (which I didnt know was possible) to only 55+ and they made an account the teacher account. Sorry to disappoint but yeah

10.) From TheFoostic:

Not me, but one of the teachers at the high school I work at matched with one of his students on Grindr. The kid was 16. Teacher came and told us (the school counselors), and we had to sit the kid down and have a conversation about the dangers of lying about his age to have random hookups with older men. He said he had been doing it a while and appreciated that we were concerned about him. He said he did not plan on stopping, but he was obviously not trying to hook up with anyone from the school.

The teacher felt so awkward having the kid in his class the rest of the year. I think he maybe wanted to try and mentor the kid a bit to help him stay safe in the cruising scene, but that could get ugly really fast if the parents found out. He graduated and went to uni, so hopefully he is doing okay still.

11.) From allie-the-cat:

I went on a date a couple weeks ago with a former student. I was an adjunct prof and she was in my class. I thought she was cute and I had a suspicion she was queer too but obviously wasn’t going to do anything while I was teaching. When she came Up on tinder (I’m no longer teaching university) I swiped right and we matched.

She is only a couple years younger than me though and the class was a couple years ago. We’re hopefully going out again soon and we’ll see what happens?¯\_(ツ)_/¯

12.) From Stoneheart7:

Didn't match, but I saw one of my students on tinder (saying they were 20 when they most definitely were not).

I informed the parents that I'd "recieved an anonymous tip" that either they were on tinder or someone was using their photos.

Not the story most people are looking for here I'm sure, but the right thing to do.

13.) ​​​​​​​From onfire9123:

I teach University. A year or so after the end of the class she took under me she pops up and laughed. I thought there'd be no way she yes'd me so I swiped right for giggles. Instant match. I couldn't believe it. Turns out she wanted to hook up the whole time but didn't want to open that can of worms. So we went on a date.

And she was by far the worst fuck of my life. Animal in bed? Oh yeah. Starfish.

14.) From Wiltron:

As someone who is actively on Tinder, and who works in High Schools, it's frightening how often you'll see someones profile with the age set at mid 20s, but the first line of the profile is "actually 16" or something.

I have my age filters set to 25-37 - students in high school will set their birth date to something wrong to get around that because there's soooo many girls who want a sugar daddy and are not afraid to put that in writing.

As mentioned above with the first line of profile text, the second line is usually "looking for something really sweet" or similar.

Then finally, 16 photos of bikinis and lingerie.

I report every one of them, and if I'm at a school and see the student, I report them to student services / the main office.

15.) ​​​​​​​From mediocrefishmom:

I am a health and safety instructor, and work with a number of organizations teaching them, well, health and safety.

I'm teaching at this one location and one of my students and I really hit it off. About a month or so passes and I receive a message from her on tinder. She asks me if I remember her and I'm thinking to myself, "no shit, I had to spend 16 hours pretending not to notice my giant crush on you and actively try to not flirt." So yes, I definitely remembered her.

Now it should be noted that a) I am gay and definitely not out at work and b) I actively try to keep my personal life to myself, especially to my students.

Part of me is freaking out thinking "I've literally just been outed and I don't know how to react" So I did the only thing I could think of and said maybe we shouldn't do anything until we figure out what the protocol was? Like since I'm technically not her teacher anymore would that still be a conflict of interest? Am I allowed to actually go out with her?

Well we end up going on a date and 6 months later, we're still together. Oh, and she no longer works at that company, so no harm, no foul!

16.) ​​​​​​​From JackHunt32:

A friend of mine came across our politics teacher's husband on a sugar daddy website, that was quite something really

17.) ​​​​​​​From waterloograd:

As a grad student, I work as a TA at my university and because I teach for upper-level courses my students are pretty close in age (2-4 years typically). I usually try to just swipe left by default on all current and past students, but one made it through. She was an old student of mine, probably by about one year. I got the notification, thought about it for a bit, and unmatched.

I felt bad about just unmatching without saying anything, so I messaged her on Instagram and just said that I couldn't because she was my old student and we ended up talking for a bit. Not going to lie, she is beautiful and I was partially hoping she would try to ask me out anyways. I didn't think there was anything wrong since she wasn't currently my student, but I didn't want to be the one asking (and I would have checked with HR first anyways). Afterwards, I looked it up in the university policy, and there was nothing I could find to stop us. So if she does ever ask me out I will instantly say yes, but I highly doubt it will ever happen.

20 people share stories about how they succeeded at 'faking it until they made it.'

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The concept of faking it til you make it is all around us. Sometimes it takes the shape of summoning charisma at a party, finally asking someone out, or bolstering a resume. Other times it blooms into a full-fledged series of lies that you have to surf on until you finally spin the lies back into truth.

Assuming you're not putting others in danger, faking it til you make it can be an inspiring feat, and in a cut-throat economy it can also be a necessary one. The language of faking it comes more naturally to some than others, so it can be helpful to take notes from the pros.

In a popular Reddit thread, people shared their "fake it til you make it" stories and they prove that a little bit of strategic delusion can go a long way.

1. kadno pulled a George Costanza.

I George Costanza'd my way into a job in high school.

I was looking for a new job and went to apply at a local movie theater. The general manager asked to interview me on the spot, which I wasn't at all prepared for, but went with it anyway. This was like a Wednesday or Thursday night. The interview went well, and she told me she was going to be out of town this weekend, but she would let me know on Monday.

I didn't want to wait, so the next day at school I got my work permit filled out and took it back. I dropped it off to another manager and told them she told me to bring this crap in. They asked if I could start the next day.

I ended up working there for over three years.

2. yoshismaster didn't take no for an answer.

Not me, but my cousin applied for a brand new restaurant job and didn’t get it. Her friend got the job and she was pissed she didn’t get hired. So her friend told her where/when orientation was, and she decided to “fake” getting hired til she “made it”. She went to orientation, all the training, introduced herself to all the staff, management, and made her presence known. After a couple of weeks working, everyone got their paychecks, except her...

She went up to management, and was like “wth, everyone got paid but me...you’ve seen me working for the last two weeks!”

Management goes into the computer system and checks “that’s so weird you’re not in the system...I’m so sorry... must be a clerical error...we will get you in the system, and paid right away!”

And that’s how my cousin fake got hired til she made it. I wanna be like her when I grow up.

3. DoctorFincher faked their way into a programming job.

My first job as a programmer I didn't know how to write a single line of code.

Was about 12 years ago.

I wanted to learn programming and I chose a hot new programming language - Ruby. I did a tutorial for Ruby on Rails(remember the one where you create an ecommerce store with a few lines, ehh?) but I had some problems running it on Windows so after I figured it out I documented it on some forum. A guy messaged me that writing a guide shows initiative and they are looking for a Ruby guy. I never say no to anything. We Skyped, the guy liked me, and I got the job the next day. Remote. The salary shocked my 19-year-old self.

The company was a mess at first. It was a new project. I was pretending to work for the first 3 weeks while in reality I was learning for 12+ hours a day using books and tutorials.

Somehow I fucking winged it and stayed with them for 3 years. I actually became proficient with Ruby, Python, and JS along the way.

4. Sticknpucker got in the grip game by necessity.

I'm an artist who works in the film industry. Some years ago my wife got pregnant (purposefully) and I had to try to find a way to make more reliable income while she was on Matt leave and for the foreseeable future, as we knew we weren't only having one. I also wanted to stay in film.

I got work as a Grip. Grunt work lugging things around set and building/setting up large bits of lighting gear. No clue what I was doing. I started off on big shows like the flash and arrow.

A friend got me work on a small set and only 13 days in to working as a grip, which I didn't tell them, they made me the Key grip. Key is film talk for Manager. I was in charge of a whole department which is one half of the lighting team. Faked it until I made it!

Fast forward over 5 years. I have over 30 credits to my name as a key grip. I own an entire 5 ton trucks worth of gear that I rent out, which makes as much money per show as my wage did. My wife is back at work after having 2 kids and I'm a stay at home dad with consistent passive income and the time to continue to write and audition whenever I need.

5. appothecary is thankful for the unexpected pregnancy

I'd always been interested in programming. As a kid I tried to teach myself C and Java with mild success. Fast forward to the time I'm 24. I'm working as a piercing apprentice at a tattoo shop making $20/day a few days per week. I meet a girl, fall for said girl, girl ends up pregnant...

A few hours after the pregnancy test I'm applying for jobs on Craigslist and I find a PHP job a few minutes up the road. I've worked with PHP for maybe a few hours in my entire life time but it was a tiny company and the interview wasn't technical. I lied through my teeth the entire time and get hired.

After being hired I tried to start learning PHP on the job. The owner of the company created his own PHP framework which was GOD AWFUL so I couldn't figure it out for the life of me. I got fired two weeks later.

In those two weeks on the job I made an honest effort to learn more about web design and development so I offered my "design" services to a local web design company for free so that I could learn. Walking home after being fired I called up the web design company and they ended up hiring me. I would learn on the job for a year or so and then take my skills to get more money somewhere else.

10 years later I'm the lead software engineer on a big project making just over 6 figures. If a pregnancy test hadn't scared me to death that day I would still be working dead end jobs to scrape up enough money for weed and booze.

6. picksandchooses was barely ahead of their class.

I taught a class on a specialty software program. I was learning the software myself and I was literally 1 class ahead of the people I was teaching.

7. Raukaris finally had to stop the ruse.

I started at a big ol’ multinational in retail as a college dropout. I started at the lowest rung of customer service in a store.

Now retail has lots and lots of staff turnover. And a multinational has a sh*tton of rules, or you’d expect them to have. Also, I’m not the dumbest around (never mind the college dropout that’s another story) and well to be fair not everyone in retail is supersmart.

So there was a consistent lack of management (or they didn’t care) and all the rules and regulations had gaps in them. So people start asking questions: How do I solve this? What should I do next? Etc.

Nobody had an answer to this questions, so I started answering them using common sense or what I’d think should work. Just filling the gaps which probably made me look a lot smarter than I am. Just faking that I knew what I was doing.

So I started climbing the ladders and I am now the Senior Finance and Operations Director for a store with a gross turnover of over 160million euro.

HOWEVER, cracks are starting to show. The company got a lot more serious and I’m surrounded by smart people with high degrees where I can’t bluff my way through problems and meetings as easily. So, I’m thinking of taking a step back and relaxing a bit more on lower position. I was a lot happier then and had way less stress and way less hours.

TLDR, faking works until it doesn’t.

8. Back2Bach got help from the customers.

During college, I worked part-time as a deli clerk in a grocery store.

I had zero experience with deli items - didn't know head cheese from salami, or provolone from muenster.

So, I'd explain to customers that I was new and ask them to point to items in the case that they wanted and what the sign indicated for the price per pound.

They always seemed happy to help out - especially when I gave them "free samples" from the slicing machine.

9. -Fapologist- wrote a masterful resume.

I was desperate for a job several years back so I wrote up this resume that was utter horsesh*t on a whim granted some of it was legit but a good 80% was me bullshitting. Amazingly enough I got a call for an interview and by some miracle they ended up hiring me and I worked for the place for 7 years before something I was actually qualified for opened up at another work place. That bullsh*t resume saved me from ruin though so I always will look back in that crazy situation fondly.

10. EnnuiDeBlase's brother-in-law is a scammer at heart.

My piece of sh*t druggy brother in law used to lie and said he had heavy equipment operator experience. He'd get the job, and get fired w/in a day or 2 but pick up something small. Did that 15 or 20 times and kept moving around until he learned enough to not get fired.

11. ClownfishSoup's coworker has pushed through the fog.

My coworker has a degree in mechanical engineering in another country but was lucky to get a job in the US helping to fix the Y2K bug. He was told to search for year codes in software and edit it a certain way. He was so out of his league that when he made a mistake that he couldn’t just backspace to fix he would “accidentally” ... turn off the computer to restart it... just because he didn’t know how to undo edits. He’s now our lead Java Developer.

12. happygolucky85 faked it til they made a business.

My business started by me just saying yes I can do that , I can supply that for you. I had no idea that they would be willing to hear me out. 5 years later and I'm now supplying desks and office equipment to over 120 offices in London. You really can go far if you just say yes.

13. PeelGal made up a whole dance on the spot.

Last weekend I was at a wedding dance and they played "The Git Up". No one knew the dance, including myself, but liquid encouragement kicked in and I lead the entire wedding dance (50+ people) in a dance that I completely made up on the spot.

Everyone was so impressed after that I "knew all of the moves", that I didn't tell anyone any different.

14. StarsCanScream pushed through the social anxiety until they became a social butterfly.

Social Anxiety. I was always the quiet guy up until a few years ago. I decided I was tired of not having friends and I started faking confidence and talking to everyone. In the beginning I was dying inside and felt like I was walking on glass. Now I don’t know when to shut up and can talk to just about anyone.

15. Subliminal_Rose traced art to learn art.

Not even going to lie, I used to trace other people’s art SO OFTEN as a young artist (like 8-10) but now, I have that guidance of technique with me when I create my own pieces.

16. Suuperdad is healing the land.

A while ago I decided to stop complaining about environmental destruction, climate change, etc, and ACT. So I started planting trees.

Keep in mind I had no training in this, I never even gardened before. I considered myself a "brown thumb". I researched how to do it and it seemed pretty easy. But everything died. I'd plant a tree exactly how they said, but it wouldn't survive. I had to baby them so much, just to get them through their first year, and maybe half would make it. But I just kept planting and planting and "faking" I knew what I was doing.

Then I came across stuff by Dr. Elaine Ingham on soil science and it kind of changed everything for me. It made a whole lot of sense. Ecosystems transition from deadland, to weed pit, to grass land, to brushland to forest. As they do, the soil microbiology changes from dead soil to bacterial dominated soil, to fungal dominated soil. So the correct way to plant trees is actually to transition the soil to forest soil as fast as possible.

Nature takes thousands of years of weeds dying, and then grasses dying and soil life building and building, to a small woody shrub, which then eventually dies, and NOW it changes. NOW everything changes. Woody material on the ground means FUNGUS can move in. It's game over at this point, and you will transition to a forest now. So the correct way to plant a tree is to speed yourself to this point by dropping woodchips on the ground and letting the soil chemistry change. After a few months (or even better, a year), NOW plant your trees into the environment they want to live in.

Well that changed everything, and now I go around planting mini starting forests everywhere on my land, in wild places, abandoned lots, etc. I've seen little pockets of life I've planted turn from a few trees to a small thicket. At this point, it's unstoppable and the land heals.

It's an incredibly rewarding hobby, but one you must take very seriously. Anytime you plant something, you set in motion wheels of change, so you must know what you are planting. For this reason I stick to local native trees, shrubs, herbs, flowers. Things that exist all around me. That's good for many reasons, the least of which isn't free genetic material (seeds) to make this hobby 100% free.

What is really rewarding though is driving to work and seeing a bird perched on an apple tree that I planted, in a cluster of life with bees buzzing around the apple, haskap and lovage and borage and strawberries and asparagus, clover, fruit tree guild. Looking and seeing apple sapplings bursting up through the sweet cicely. The ecosystem has it's foothold in now, and will replicate itself, sequestering carbon and healing the soil LONG after I'm gone.

So I started as someone who considered themself a "brown thumb", and with a little action and knowledge seeking, I now have pockets of life all around my community that are expanding and growing, that I was the catalyst for creating. That's a legacy right there. And that's how we reverse climate change and give our children a world worth living in.

17. ToxicHeather has always been hustling to stay at their job level.

Honestly, I felt like this for most of my jobs in the IT industry. I work on Cisco voice systems and it always seemed like I was getting jobs that were just a bit higher technical level than I was at. So I was constantly working hard to learn what I didn't know to get to the level that I was supposed to be at, or they would have one of the Cisco voice platforms that I wasn't familiar with but expected me to troubleshoot and work on, such as my current job which has UCCE (call center stuff) and I'd never worked on anything but UCCX, which is the very slimmed down version of UCCE and is very different. So now I'm working hard to learn UCCE but I'm always feeling like at any time they'll realize they can get someone better and replace me.

18. folekel saved their own life with a fake fear of needles.

Almost a decade ago, I was banging drugs and ended up in an induced coma, to save my heart. After coming out of a coma, I was still addicted to the drugs and needles but deadly afraid of doing it again, for fear of finally dying.

I asked doctors, family, anyone who visited me, how I could overcome the addiction because I didn’t want to go back to that lifestyle.

One buddy just said “fake it until you make it”. It just clicked and resonated with me. I lied to myself and everyone that I was afraid of needles and hated the drug I was doing. I kept on until one day I woke up legitimately afraid of needles. (I was still in the hospital for all of this though, I was mostly lucky to be held and detoxed before release).

The phrase has continued to help anytime I’m at a low though. 9 years sober in 3 weeks.

19. veRGe1421 has faked it through grad school.

Graduate school (doctoral program). Anyone who has endured this pain understands that the transition from undergraduate to graduate training can be very much intimidating and elicit imposter syndrome. Everyone in my cohort was faking it till making it, but in that process of stress and class and practica and comps and writing and research and teaching and learning - you eventually make it. But it's a b*tch getting there. And everyday early on feels pretty fake.

Just gotta' get your mental health right, get your physical health right, get your social support right, make sure to keep your hobbies up, try to research something you're marginally actually interested in, establish good relationships with faculty, your cohort, your PI, etc., trust in your self-efficacy, keep grinding, faking it, and doing the best you can...until you come out the other side all the wiser for it. The competency and confidence will come, but not without the sacrifice of anxiety and time put in.

A lot of people think doctoral programs are about intelligence. Sure, to some extent, but not nearly as much as people think. It's really about persistence, determination, commitment, resilience, and grit. The process will test you, and break you. But you will grow, and you can succeed.

20. NYCGreatness19 faked their way into a CMO position.

I dropped out of high school in 10th grade. I hated school with a passion. I did get a GED.

I started working retail and found I really liked managing projects and eventually people. I ended up leaving retail for a call center job in a fairly large company.

Within 4 years I was running a marketing division. I had no F’ING clue what marketing was or anything. I’m just good at getting people to trust me and I’m very creative.

I got bored there and somehow got myself into another marketing role at an even bigger company.

5 years later I’m the CMO.

I still really don’t know shit about “traditional” school taught marketing. I literally faked it till I made it. I’m very good at what I do.

25 Memes That Will Only Be Funny If You're Obsessed With True Crime.

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The only thing better than watching true crime documentaries is laughing at true crime memes while also watching true crime documentaries. These dirtbag criminals are no match for all of us constantly solving cold cases from the comfort of our own homes. These hilarious memes will be relatable as hell for anyone who's obsessed with true crime.

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Dad asks if he's wrong not to approve of his son marrying his stepdaughter.

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This sounds like the premise of an adult film, but sometimes truth is stranger than (adult) fiction.

A dad going by the throwaway username throwawayQuestion667 claimed on Reddit's "Am I The A**hole?" forum that his son is engaged to his stepdaughter, and he wants assurance that he's not a jerk for refusing to pay for the wedding.

He wrote:

When I married my wife, my son was 9 and my stepdaughter was 14. They grew up together and we all got along wonderfully.

My son is now 23 and both him and my stepdaughter have told us they're engaged. We had no idea they were even dating in any form.

I'm feeling very uncomfortable with this. I don't know when this relationship started, and I'm disgusted by the age difference implications.

My wife was shocked and isn't very happy either. But she's in the mindset that they're adults and aren't exactly blood related so we can't do anything about it, which I agree with.

But I've put my foot down on not contributing any money towards their wedding. And my son is aware that I'm not exactly thrilled with the relationship.

AITA?

This is straight out ofThe Brady Bunch Movie....or that infamous Folger's coffee commercial.

Things get worse, as the dad's ex-wife is now using the situation to hurt him even more.

"I'm actually being attacked nonstop by my ex who blames me for this situation. She blames me for bringing my stepdaughter around our son," he wrote in a comment.

"And the sad part is I agree with her. I hate that I'm second guessing my marriage to the woman I love with all my heart."

Plus, the son/stepbrother/fiancé won't tell his dad when the relationship started, which really ups the nauseating ante.

My son isn't giving me an answer of when the relationship started and the five years [age] difference starts feeling very wrong depending on when their relationship started," throwawayQuestion667 explained.

The internet is collectively nauseous.

Juror Kay_Sea425's oppinion is that the dad is Not The A**hole (aka NTA).

"They're adults and can do what they want, but you absolutely don't have to pretend that you are a huge fan of this relationship or pay for the wedding," they wrote. "Also ick. What kind of reaction were they expecting?"

"NTA. i couldn't fathom ever dating or marrying any of my step siblings, past or present. it's just a line you don't cross," dylanjpierce commented.

"NTA. Dude, they were raised as siblings since they were kids. That alone makes it nasty. The fact they won't tell you when they got together and it's a 5 year age gap makes it double nasty," grumpyspudgal added.

Our thoughts and prayers are with this dad. Step-siblings are siblings, and society is rightfully disgusted by incest. There's a reason why Cersei and Jaime lied to Tywin his whole life.

Woman shares texts from aunt berating her for not wanting to bake her wedding cake.

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Weddings are expensive—there's no way around it. But some people are going to try and find a way around it, even if it means putting insane demands on their friends and family member.

One bride-to-be tried to shirk the expenses of her upcoming wedding by asking her niece to take on some major (and expensive) wedding responsibilities: baking her cake, altering her dress, and making her seating plan.

The niece, who politely declined to be her aunt's attempts to make her an unpaid wedding servant, has the screenshots to prove it. She shared them on Reddit's "Choosing Beggar" community, which is exactly where they belong.

In the first text, the aunt is following up from an earlier text asking her niece to bake her a wedding cake. She starts somewhat politely and quickly becomes aggressive, calling her niece "rude" for not responding to her message.

The niece very politely and diplomatically declines, explaining she's unable to make the cake because she has "absolutely no experience" with that kind of baking. The aunt responds by accusing her of being difficult, claiming "everyone else" is pitching in.

The niece declines again but asks if there's another way she can help out.

The aunt responds by insulting her, then asks her to alter her dress. The niece responds by saying she's not qualified to do this either, to which her aunt calls her "belligerent."

Again, the aunt shames her for not being able to help with the two major tasks she asked her to do.

She then asks her niece to do two "smaller jobs": designing and creating "reminders" for the guests, and putting together the final seating plan.

When the niece says she doesn't know how to do this either, her aunt insults her, calling her "lazy" and telling her she's going to have "problems later on in life." She also calls her "selfish" and threatens to disinvite her from the wedding. The niece then tells her aunt not to message her again.

I write about bridezillas all the time (my parents are very proud) and didn't think it was possible for a story of wedding-induced insanity to shock me. I was wrong. There are bridezillas, and then there is this woman, whose raging entitlement is next-level, bordering on delusional psychosis.

Commenters are just about as stunned and confused as I am by this woman's monstruous behavior.

Starfire27 writes:

I'm assuming you're pretty young since she mentioned university. Why would you ask for a wedding cake or dress alterations from someone that has no experience in super important things and then make fun of them????

And gwacemom adds:

Oh wow, even a “simple” wedding cake is difficult. She is out of her ever loving mind.

spaceguyy points out that, clearly, nothing the niece could've done would've pleased this woman:

She would have cried and said you ruined the cake if you baked it. I would never speak to her again.

While boxofsquirrels astutely points out the hypocrisy of this entitled woman calling anyone lazy:

"This is why people say your lazy!" -the bride who's not doing a damn bit of the labor associated with her own wedding.

Kudos to the niece for not getting herself embroiled in this aunt's absurd wedding drama and good luck to everyone who did, especially her husband.


26 Memes To Help You Start Your Day Off With A Laugh.

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"I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again!"

-Anonymous

Taking over the world is overrated. I'd be happy to just get a full 8 hours of sleep. These memes will make everyone laugh this morning, even the people who passionately hate mornings.

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Jimmy Fallon asked people to share their embarrassing wedding mishaps and these are the 25 funniest.

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There is so much pressure put on every detail of a wedding day going smoothly, it's shocking that more problems don't arise.

While weddings are beautiful celebrations of love with a guest list of supportive and excited friends and family, sometimes they can bring out the worst in people. Brides and grooms who try to control every aspect of the day will usually be disappointed. Have a glass (or a bottle) of champagne and learn to let it go that the groomsmen forgot their special socks and the ring bearer is peeing in the potted plant.

While most of time it's a nearly perfect day where every important moment is documented, sometimes things don't go according to plan. If kids are involved, you increase your chances of a wedding disaster. The weather can be unpredictable, and of course, so can family members. When Jimmy Fallon asked his fans to share their wedding fail stories, people definitely delivered. If you're planning a wedding this year, take notes!

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18 people share the weirdest secrets they discovered about their co-workers.

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Just because you see somebody every day, doesn't mean that you know them.

People on Reddit shared the bizarre secrets they learned about their coworkers, and it goes to show you that you never know what your deskmate is up to when they're not on company time.

1. There has to be more to WheezinThaJuice's story.

I had a co-worker that did 15 years in prison for murdering his wife. Super nice guy...Never would have known unless he told me. His daughter, (from the murdered wife) was one of my subordinates and they were actually close. Very strange deal.

2. Ew, BobbyBobRoberts.

In one of my jobs in high school my boss came in to work looking shell shocked. When I asked him what was wrong, he told me he had just learned that his biological parents were siblings. (He was adopted, and didn't know his actual parents.)

3. hedgehoglady's story is so charming and pure.

I once asked a coworker if he had any big plans for the weekend and he said, "just getting ready for Presidents' Day" I thought this was strange but upon further questioning it turns out that he and his son (kid was in first grade at the time) celebrate Presidents' Day in the same way that my family and I celebrate Christmas. my coworker started this tradition because he and the kid's mother have always split custody on major holidays so they have all these cute traditions surrounding Presidents' Day instead. Festivities include reading children's books about the presidents/us history in the weeks leading up to the big event, brining out the "Presidents' Day mattress" from storage and decorating it and then "Monty the Presidents' Day moose" brings his son Presidents' Day presents the morning of. I think it was one of the sweetest yet weirdest stories I've ever heard. Plus I imagine his son knows substantially more about US history than any of his peers.

4. poridgepants spilled the tea on the spilling.

I worked at a record store in my early twenties. There was a guy about the same age maybe a bit younger then me. Really nice dude, he was always well dressed, blazer, khakis. The rest of us just wore jeans t-shirts. He always seemed slightly more professional then us.

I went to his house once after work. He lived with his mom, which was fairly normal for people I hung with as most of us were university kids. We were hanging in the piano room, he was showing me some songs he was working on. He went to get us drinks and came back with his in a sippy cup. Like a kids sippy cup. I asked why the hell was he using a sippy cup. He said he spilled a drink in the room the last week and now his mom makes him use a sippy cup.

5. Everyone needs a side hustle, Tree_Eyed_Crow.

A female coworker had an Instagram account with over 40,000 followers... for her guinea pig.

6. Keep it clean, baadboy1.

My buddy paid a prostitue to clean his house naked. It would have been ok if he woke me up and told me before leaving for work.

7. Controlling siblings are the new controlling parents, cheezwiz62.

She was 25 and in medical school, so she was obviously a very responsible person. She also had a midnight curfew that was strictly enforced by her sister who was in law enforcement.

Needless to say, when we talked about dating, she had never been on one

8. Yikes, Whompman.

One of the nicest people Ive ever worked with, I caught crying because it was the anniversary of when his father killed his mother in front of him when he was six. Very sad.

9. From mgros483:

I had this sweetheart 50-something coworker lady casually mention to me that she had been shot in the head. Turns out she was a bad**s biker chick in the 70's and her methhead boyfriend got drunk and shot her in the head one night.

She kinda got teared up and said I was the first person she had told in like 30 years.

Her biker name was roadrunner, and now she collects little knick knacks in her cubicle and talks about her grandchildren all the time.

10. From CorkyKribler, if that is their real name:

I found out that a coworker--an older lady, as in like 70--made most of her living writing extremely graphic erotic fiction under a pseudonym. It was amazing.

11. Got milk, will18057?

A few of my coworkers and I were joking around with one of our other coworkers (who just came back from maternity-leave) about how often she'd pump at work -- she nonchalantly said that the milk she was pumping was mostly for her husband to drink. Yeah...we never brought up that topic ever again.

12. Yum, FunkHavoc.

I used to work at Target last summer and made friends with one of the other cashiers, he seemed normal up until a particular slow day I noticed he was picking his eye lashes out and eating them...

13. Only Mike Judge can judge her, 5firtrees.

My elderly coworker wrote King of the Hill fanfiction as a hobby. She showed me a massive three ring binder full of scripts but never let me read them.

14. Nice work if you can get it, poopitypoppin.

I Googled one of my coworkers and found these weird conspiracy theories about him and his family. Apparently there are people that believe they are crisis actors. Basically they believe they are actors paid by the government to pose as relatives of mass shooting victims. There were also a few sites claiming he was posing as a political leader and a serial killer.

15. Stay safe, Barkingpanther.

That he was working with us under an alias. There were two stories: that he was trying to duck child support; and that he used to be a bookie and was trying to lay low from the local mob.

16. lokeruper with a fresh one.

He squirts the toothpaste directly into mouth instead of on toothbrush.

17. etsfeet works in the Dunder Mifflin accounting department.

I had a coworker who would leave messages on her home answering machine for her cat several times a day.

18. Sounds corny, tpbutch.

A coworker confided in me that she had been addicted to eating corn starch since she was young. She described craving the chalky texture and how she loved the feeling of choking when some of the powder is inhaled. Really threw me for a loop--she was totally professional and normal otherwise.

Chrissy Teigen shared the 'five tasks' you must complete at the Vanity Fair Oscars party in a series of tweets.

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The Oscar ceremonies are littered with cameras documenting every red carpet look, fly-by interview, and both the excited and non-plussed reactions to the winners.

Every year people take to their keyboards to drool over their favorite celebrities, mock outfits that cost more than our rent, and express opinions about who deserves to win the most.

While the ceremony is technically dedicated to rewarding excellence in the film industry, it also doubles as a night of immense voyeurism for the general public. So many memes are made projecting emotions onto brief shots of actors interacting, and the whole night serves as ideal fodder for paparazzi style leering.

However, the A-listers who attend the Oscars do find respite from the fish-bowl of onlookers when they disperse to the many after parties, some of which are hosted by companies (the famous Vanity Fair after party), while others are hosted by celebrities themselves (Beyonce and Jay-Z's soiree).

This year, Chrissy Teigen and John Legend decided to double dip at both the Vanity Fair shindig AND Beyonce's party.

In true form, Teigen jokingly lifted the shroud of mystery concealing the Vanity Fair after party in a few tweets laying out the "five tasks" each guest must complete.

The first task is a Mark Seliger photoshoot, one that Teigen never protests. After that, you must enter the labrynth of lasers to dance away the awards show stress, before facing the horrors of social media .

After this you will inevitably facetime with someone's daughter - it could be another guest, or someone working the party, it doesn't matter so long as you talk to their daughter. If you refuse to facetime the daughter, you will inevitably get called out on Twitter, which is obviously not the move.

The final boss, of course, is running into someone you can't quite remember and being forced into a cordial 20 minute conversation. There is a high likelihood, in this scenario, that neither of you truly remembers if you've met before.

In the end, Teigen write, all of these necessary tasks are worth it for the merriment that follows.

While Teigen didn't end up sharing the same sort of play-by-play about Beyonce's party, she did share her costume change alongside Legend, and wrote that she was too shy to actually talk to Beyonce despite having a great time.

While Teigen kept her post about Beyonce's party less detailed than the Vanity Fair shindig, she was also quick to shut down rumors that party goers were forced to sign NDAs upon arrival.

Respecting people enough to not be creepy is a great way to be, but unfortunately doesn't vibe well with the vulture culture of the internet.

Mom asks if she's wrong for not wanting to give family heirloom to her trans daughter.

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Family traditions involving valuable, precious heirlooms can get pretty messy sometimes.

While traditions are a beautiful way of preserving a family's memories, traditions do need to change with the times every now and then. Why does the eldest male in the family typically get diamond engagement rings to give to a woman? Let the women in the family have those rings, it means more to them to wear their own family member's ring!

So, when a distressed mother of a trans teenage daughter, a cis teen daughter and cis young adult son consulted the moral underbelly of the internet (Reddit's Am I the As*hole?) section about a dispute at dinner over a diamond necklace, people were ready to give her advice.

Question: AITA (Am I the As*hole?) for refusing to give my trans daughter a family heirloom?

I have 3 kids Susan (17), Jessica (mtf for 4 years 18), and Matt (21). There's a tradition on my side of the family where the oldest daughter in the family gets a beautiful diamond necklace when they turn 18. Okay, so I was having dinner with my family last night when Susan casually asked me if she could please wear the necklace to her junior prom. I told her she could and joked that it doesn't matter because in a year it will be hers. This is where Jessica chimed in and said, " how come I'm not going to get it? I am the oldest daughter." This made us all quiet and I didn't really know what to say as I've never really thought about it since I always planned on giving it to Susan . After thinking for a few seconds. I told Jessica that I have always planned on giving it to Susan and it wouldn't be fair but since circumstances have changed I am willing to go with you to a jewelry store and get you something equally special. This did not satisfy Jessica and she got progressively ruder to me. Jessica being rude to me and our fighting led Susan to say some very transphobic things to Jessica (which made her walk off and cry) that I don't wish to repeat.

I'm at an impasse. My and I really don't think giving Jessica the necklace would be the right thing to do. AITA?

Yikes. This is a tough one. Do I think that 18-year-olds are too young to deserve a diamond necklace? Yes. Is it right to take away something Susan thought she was going to get her whole life? Probably not. That being said, dismissing Jessica as the oldest daughter is also not the right thing to do...

"PooPulls" wrote:

You are all in a difficult situation. Your trans daughter feels it’s yet another instance of her being considered less than a woman. Your female born daughter feels it’s being unfairly removed from her and you didn’t consider this possibility because who can really foresee this. I’m sorry you have this dilemma. My opinion, give it to daughter who always expected to receive it, explain to trans daughter how you respect and recognize her as your daughter but this was set in motion before anyone knew. I think starting a new heirloom is a great idea.

"Stunning-stasis" wrote:

For most of her life, Susan thought she was going to get the necklace because she was the only daughter. I'd say it's not fair to take that away from her.

Josvan135" wrote:

You weren't purposely excluding Jessica, it just didn't occur to you because you'd always intended to give it to Susan.

You're right, it wouldn't be fair to change that after she knew she was going to have it her whole life.

You proposed a thoughtful compromise and she rejected it.

You're in no way being transphobic.

"nobodysquared" wrote:

I don't think it was much of a thoughtful compromise. It's not about getting a necklace or not but about this particular necklace and the message that the family is sending with it.

Jessica has already gotten the message that her sister doesn't and probably never has accepted her after Susan's transphobic rant. And I think that offering to buy Jessica a different necklace instead of Susan is already telling Jessica that on some level her parents don't accept her either.

She asks that if the necklace goes to the oldest daughter and I'm the oldest daughter, shouldn't I get it? Then her parents tell her that they've never thought about that and are going to give it to the younger daughter anyway but we'll go buy her off.

Even if that's not what the parents explicitly intended, that comes across loud and clear to me that "we don't think of you as our eldest daughter and maybe not even our daughter at all, but we're going to try and buy you off so our actual daughter doesn't get her feelings hurt."

It's going to take a lot of work to try and repair that wound, and they're only going to make it wider if they reinforce that message with their actions. Maybe the OP isn't being transphobic but I guarantee that it's coming across that way to their daughter.

"FlokiTrainer" wrote:

If this necklace is given to the oldest daughter when they turn 18 and Jessica is already 18, why didn't Jessica bring this up beforehand? It doesn't sound like she wants the necklace for the traditions. It seems like she wanted it to validate herself as a woman in the face of her little sister getting it. It seems like if Susan had never asked to wear it, Jessica would not have cared, up until the point that Susan was set to receive the heirloom at least. Then I imagine this situation happening at that point in time. Regardless of gender or sexuality, that's asshole behavior in my eyes. Of course, Susan was also an asshole for the transphobic comments.

"kmhr518" wrote:

Honestly, I think your compromise is fair. It might not feel like it to Jessica, but it also wouldn’t be fair to Susan to take away something she’s been anticipating her whole life.

So there you have it! This mom definitely isn't an as*hole, but she should realize that not even thinking about giving the necklace to Jessica makes Jessica think her mom doesn't consider her the "true" eldest daughter of the family. Getting something special for Jessica too is a good compromise. And, if there are any a*sholes here, it's Susan. You owe your sister an apology, girl.

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