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20 parents share the weirdest things they found while snooping through their kids' stuff.

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Kids might think they're being clever when they hide things away in their bedrooms, but nothing escapes a nosy parent's quest. Not all parents snoop through their kids' stuff—but the ones who do leave no stone unturned. And the things they find while rooting through their kids' closets, bedrooms, and search histories might make them regret snooping in the first place.

In several Reddit threads, parents are sharing the weirdest items they found while snooping through their kids' stuff. Here are 20 of their most unexpected, gross, funny and disturbing findings:

1.) From JesusitaLeavy:

An old, cheap revolver. Scared the hell out of me.

2.) From RandaMcsweeney:

When my son was 3 I found an old banana peel in a clipboard that opened. We were battling a fruit fly infestation and couldnt figure out what they were after. It was so disgusting when I opened that thing and hundreds of fruitflies flew out

3.) From KimothyMack:

My 16 year old son hollowed out the end of his wooden closet bar and his marijuana in it. Only found it because it was nasty smelling ditch weed. Kid was clever as hell.

What disturbs me is what I likely didn't find because he was damn good at coming up with hiding places.

4.) From GravityTracker:

Not going through her room, but I listened in on a stern lecture my 4 year old was giving her dolls. She had them all lined up like she was a drill sergeant

5.) From Haris_662:

When my son was 6 years old, I went into his room and found a live pigeon that he had been keeping as a pet. He was really sad when I let it outside

6.) From TawanaGlessner:

Not snooping through his room, but stuff he was throwing out.....I found my son's journal from when he was about 9. In it, he chronicles how he heard me and my then- boyfriend have sex on multiple occasions. I probably died of embarrassment reading it.

7.) From WillowWispWhipped:

Internet history with a video “Shrek is love, shrek is life” or something like that.

I was scarred for life

8.) From ClaudineDillow:

I don't snoop so I haven't stumbled across anything too crazy but when my kids were in 3rd and 4th grade I found a shoe box (without the top) filled with actual cash and "Jesus Dollars" when I grabbed their hamper to do laundry.

Jesus Dollars were something my kid's school gave out to kids for good behavior or high scores or doing anything Jesus like. My daughter was a top student and collected a lot of Jesus Dollars. They were allowed to be cashed in at the school store but my daughter didn't see anything worth buying. My son has always been the kind of kid who could sell ice to an Eskimo so they combined my daughter's ability to get a lot of Jesus Dollars and my son's car salesman skills to sell their fake money for real money during recess. They had 44 real dollars when I found their stash.

We don't pay for regular chores so finding that much money in their closet at that age was a little weird. They admitted to it right away and thought their plan was great but I did put an end to it because I didn't want parents to call the school complaining that my kids scammed them out of their snack money. I'm not religious but it also seemed anti Jesus like to encourage it.

My kids are teenagers now but they keep their rooms clean and have been in charge of their own laundry for years so their Jesus Dollars operation remains the most shocking discovery and I hope to keep it that way.

9.) From LolaMaclennan:

Letters from the school pertaining to grades and behavior issues.

10.) From signequanon:

I found a bottle of pee in a drawer. My son had been on camp with his kindergarden and apparently peed in a bottle for three days and then brought it home.

11.) From MyBroPoohBear:

Not much in the scale on things, but my daughter was trash talking me online. Everything she said was a lie. Pissed me off for a minute, but though know what she's a good kid and need to vent. If she has to make up shit vent about then I'm doing a pretty damn good job.

12.) ​​​​​​​From sconesolo:

My 5 year old daughter drew a picture of a penis. Turned out a 5 year old showed her his privates on the bus... That was a terrible phonecall.

13.) From 00dontask:

I have custody of my 16 yo grandson. He's been having anxiety and depression problems lately. So I snooped on his google account to check out his search history. Boring as shit. Stuff for school, and then lots of anime (no hentai) and graphic novels. I feel like I need to let him know about Pornhub.

14.) ​​​​​​​From 22feetistoomany:

Everyone else's socks. My daughter steals them and hides them in her dresser. She's only 4 so I'm cautiously waiting to see how this develops. She denies having taken them, but I do laundry and put everything away so...

15.) From antidoterhich:

Lol my sons 4 so I see everything when I help him clean his room up. This weekend I found a pile of old food he has collected throughout the week at dinner in the back corner of his closet ... because he thinks it’s going to help him trap a mouse. Instead he’s ‘trapped’ ants

16.) From Zeewulfeh:

My parents actually found beer cans under my brother's pillow.

His defense? He'd found the 'discarded can' in the yard and picked it up planning on throwing it away.

He maintains that as truth, even 18 years later.

17.) ​​​​​​​From thetexangypsy:

My mom found my wife and I's strap on when she was letting our dogs out to potty one day (their kennels are in our room). All I can say is, thank God she didn't find the weed.

18.) ​​​​​​​From bo-barkles:

While organizing my one year old's closet, an envelope with a hundred dollar bill fell down. Seeing as we just bought the house, I'm guessing it was left over from the previous owners and that my infant does not in fact have a side hussle going on..

19.) From Askmewhatimwearing:

i was the kid in that story. I had this phase where i enjoyed loud explosion sounds, and one day realized that empty milk cartons made a loud 'explosion' sound when i stomped on them. So whenever we'd finish a carton of milk, id hide the milk carton in my bottom drawer. I had around 10~ cartons stacked up in there when my mum found them because she kept wondering qhere that foul milk stench came from. It was difficult explaining to her why i collected emlty milk cartons...

20.) ​​​​​​​From mel2mdl:

I'm not typically a nosy parent - but I did have to clean out my child's closet once. (The breaker box was in it and we no longer had access.) After finding handcuffs, whips and chains I decided to let her clean it out herself! (She was 19 at the time. We had a discussion about protection and safe words. I did not share with her father!)


Guy shares eye-opening story of woman being followed by three men approaching him for help.

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One of the best ways men can use their male privilege to create a safer space for women is by staying on high alert in public spaces. It's easy to miss, but there are sadly many cases in which women are leered at on public transportation and followed and harassed by strange men. Approaching a woman and pretending to know her, while awkward, can in many cases diffuse a situation with a harasser - since men tend to fear other men more.

However, given the fact that many cases of harassment are less visible to onlookers, women are often faced with the minefield of trying to judge who will be a safe ally in these moments. Other women tend to understand the struggle, but can also get targeted themselves, while men are the perpetrators in the first place - making it scarier to reach out to a strange one. Luckily, there are men who want to help, and not all horror stories end in tragedy.

A man on Twitter recently shared his story of being approached by a woman who was being harassed by three men.

At first, OP shared that he was hesitant to respond to the woman, since it could have been a mugging set-up. But once she went in for a hug, he could tell it was genuine and that she truly needed his help.

OP doesn't even regularly walk that route, so in a sense he felt the change of course was cosmic.

The woman's walk home is on a dark street that travels under train tracks, so it's unavoidable for her to move through dangerous spaces.

The woman told OP that three men started eyeing her ont he train, and quickly followed her off. When she tried to lose them in a store, they hid in a pizza place waiting for her to exit.

The woman mostly saw other women passing her on the street, and the few men she spotted seemed aggressive. So, when she saw OP smiling at his phone, he seemed like a safer bet.

After getting her home safe, the woman introduced OP to her 5-year-old son, and he ended up speaking with the woman's mother as well, who was incredibly grateful.

OP admitted he's never experienced this type of fear, and it really opened up his perspective about what women face daily.

OP finished the story by sharing that he is a counselor who works with young victims of sexual assault, so these violent power dynamics are very intrinsic to his work.

OP's thread quickly filled up with gratitude from women relieved to know another woman was safe, and men relieved to know there are others trying to change the culture.

Hopefully, as more people read about this exchange, other men (and women) will take notes on how to be present as bystanders - since the simple action of paying attention to your surroundings and offering someone a walk can change or save a life.

Man criticized by classmates for creating $750k GoFundMe to fund their high school reunion.

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The purpose of the GoFundMe website is to help crowdfund for charitable causes, like emergency medical bills, memorial costs or helping build a school for underprivileged kids. Yet, the resource has been increasingly misused by people with a very broad interpretation of what constitutes a "charitable cause."

A man is being justifiably criticized for exploiting GoFundMe by using the website to crowd-fun $750,000 to fund his high school reunion, including covering the "essential" costs of $200 hotel rooms, $100 bottles of wine and hiking boots (?!?!). To make things worse, he planned to keep %20 of the funds raised for himself.

The man received backlash from his classmates, who never approved this idea to begin with. And now he's apparently sending them private messages demanding they apologize to him. Someone shared a screenshot of one of the man's posts on Reddit, in which he's complaining about the pushback he's received for this utterly bonkers idea.

Remote file

In the post, he outlines the bizarre individual costs he believes should be covered by the GoFundMe, including $220 a night for the hotel, $80 buffet, $100 bottles of wine and over $100 for hiking boots, as well as transportation costs.

I'm currently receiving criticism for creating a $750,000 GoFundMe to make a high school reunion essentially free for our class. A room at [redacted] Resort Hotel is about $220 per night, the buffet is about $80 per person, a bottle of wine can be well over $100, a pair of good hiking boots can be well over $100. If you happened to move out of state or to a different country after we graduated, this GoFundMe can also pay for your roundtrip flight and rental car.

He also says he's allocating 20% of the profits for himself as compensation for him being "professional event coordinator."

Tell me what's wrong with this. Is it because I'm allocating a 20% cut for myself? I'm sure professional event coordinators have a similar method of being compensated for their time and effort for putting a huge event together.

He also weirdly suggests that he "might" be planning to donate some of the money to a charity, and that there "might" be more than one reunion, but doesn't clarify.

And you guys have no idea if I planned to donate a substantial part of that cut to a charity and completely improve the lives of others. Also, who says that there can only be one reunion? Perhaps there are other reunions taking place over this summer that aren't publicly known to the entire class. Are you guys going to hunt them down and tell them there can only be one reunion? Please take all of this into consideration.

A fellow graduate of this high school class who goes by MoarPewPewPlz on Reddit shared the guy's post, writing: "some guy tried to take control of our high school reunion and started a gofundme without any of our input on the event location or price. Immediately criticized for it and is now PMing people to apologize to him."

Commenters are having a field day dragging this lunatic.

Many are commenting on his completely insane ideas for "essential" costs.

hibbjibbity writes:

Ahh yes a pair of “hiking boots” is always essential to a class reunion

Clutteredmind275 points out that it seems like this guy is just trying to get strangers to pay for his vacation:

Honestly, those hiking boots make me think this was absolutely just a vacation he wanted to go on and get paid for because how many people can he say actually like hiking???

While others are calling out his delusional sense of entitlement.

ShinyCardboardHunter writes:

Love how this dude is so entitled he acts as if him wanting to do this and get paid for it puts him on par with a “professional event coordinator”

Dude is delusional to say the least.

And ConspiratorM notes that a 20% cut would amount to a whopping $150k, which is a lot even for a professional (which he's not):

He's also wanting $150k for himself out of that. That seems like an excessive fee for a even a professional.

Nobody thinks $750k is even close to a reasonable amount of money to ask for a high school reunion.

gwacemom writes:

750 thousand?? I graduated with almost 1000 in my graduating class and can’t even imagine our reunion costing that much.

Someone asked the original poster to provide updates on this guy's meltdown, and he obliged.

Apparently, the guy was hoping someone like "MrBeast" (a YouTube star) would deem this random high school reunion worthy of a massive charitable contribution.

A commenter Unhappy-Effort astutely pointed out:

there is so much Fyre Festival vibes here...

And they're not wrong. The original poster revealed that this meme was shared in the group:

Luckily this doomed reunion never reached Fyre Festival levels, because no one—not one person—donated to the GoFundMe, thank God. Original poster writes:

Thankfully no one donated to it and it was deleted before anyone could...let alone would lol.

What a wild ride.

13 people share the most elaborate ways they ever got revenge on someone.

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The best revenge is living well...and the second-best revenge is an elaborate scheme that involves months of planning and/or defecation.

People on Reddit shared the most messed up ways they got revenge on people who wronged them, and if you weren't a good person already, these stories will definitely motivate you to never hurt anybody ever again.

1. thats_fuckedup went all out with incest, fraud, and blackmail.

Back in high school I dated a girl for 6 months before she decided it wasn't working out anymore and she cheated on me with about 6 guys and stole my iPhone and wallet to buy drugs. I wanted to report her to the police like my parents encouraged me to and to prevent me from doing such, her brother jumped me while I was walking home with his friends and busted open my lip pretty badly and threatened to kill me if i reported him or his sister (this is South Florida, so I believed he would do it).

My dad got a new job and we moved to a new city but I was still pissed about this whole situation so I did the next best thing. I created two fake facebook account of a random hot girl and guy, spent some time making it look legit with friends and such and added her brother on facebook with the girl and my ex with the guy.

Back in highschool I dated a girl for 6 months before she decided it wasn't working out anymore and she cheated on me with about 6 guys and stole my iPhone and wallet to buy drugs. I wanted to report her to the police like my parents encouraged me to and to prevent me from doing such her brother jumped me while I was walking home with his friends and busted open my lip pretty badly and threatened to kill me if i reported him or his sister (this is South Florida, so i believed he would do it).

My dad got a new job and we moved to a new city but I was still pissed about this whole situation so i did the next best thing. I created two fake Facebook accounts of a random hot girl and guy, spent some time making it look legit with friends and such and added her brother on Facebook with the girl and my ex with the guy.

It wasnt too long before he started flirting "me" up and tried his best to get in this girl's pants. On the other hand, having already courted my now ex i knew exactly what to say to charm her to the point that she was in love with me. This is where it all begins to get fun.

I started a sexting relationship between the brother and sister with me as the intermediate thanks to Google Voice. Both of them had fairly typical South Florida bodies so nothing really gave anything away and I did a fair amount of Photoshopping to remove identifiers in the room that may give away anything.

This went on for about a month and a half totaling about 200 or so nudes between the two of them when i decided to reveal the curtain and send a group of unedited pictures that included key identifiers (face and rooms).

Oh holy Jesus how sh*t went down. I only wish I had some way to see how they reacted. Friends who still lived there told me her brother moved in with his dad that week and that they no longer spoke.

All in all, about 4 months till i got my revenge but it was amazing.

2. Zafara1 made any party better.

I covered his ceiling fan with glitter.

Fear me motherf*ckers.

3. Paranatural has superpowers.

I'm immune to oison ivy, so I was always uprooting it in our yard (About a full acre). I'd left it on this concrete area behind our garage (Because that's where it was near when I pulled it out. Hey, I was/am lazy.) Anyway I frequently walked down to a fishing pond across this canal in my neighborhood (This is in south Louisiana) I didn't always have a functioning bike and the walk was only about a mile. A 'Big kid', probably 2-3 years older than me, was a real jerk**s. He'd do stuff like ride by me on his bike and act like he was gonna high-five me, but then slap my face and ride off, laughing. Anyway, one day he did that, and I went back home, upset. I got my water gun and was gonna shoot him if he messed with me again. Then I saw the poison ivy and got an evil idea. In the bucket it went with some water, stired it all up good, then dumped that in my water gun. Went back to the pond. On the way back home he came around messing with me again. I hosed him down and he broke my gun, but man it was worth it.

From what I hear he didn't go back to school for almost two weeks.

4. dlman's must be proud that they did their homework.

When I was 7 or 8 I did a science project on the antibacterial efficacy of various soaps. Basically involved keeping hands dirty for a day, pressing grubby thumbs into petri dishes full of agar, then washing and doing the same again. I'd take tracings of the cultures: bigger colonies were bad, smaller ones good. This ended up winning the county science fair for my grade in a large metropolitan area, so that was nice.

But before that, after I'd finished the experiments but before I'd discarded the dishes, I got into a dispute with my parents (don't remember what about). I thought, "I'll show them". So I took the nastiest culture and swabbed it onto their bedroom doorknob. They both got sick as dogs and I had to take care of them for a couple of days. Served me right.

TL;DR--I waged bacteriological warfare against my parents using my science project. But I told them long ago and we laugh about it now.

5. Disheremythrowaway screwed the roommates even more than their landlord.

My past girlfriend cheated on me, and her and her roommate at the time had gotten to that point in their lease where they werent super fond of each other and kept some distance. Her roommate was smoking hot, kind of b*tchy sometimes, and wasnt fond of my ex so i decided to make a move on her.

Best move ever. The look on my ex's face when her roommate walked me to the door in her underwear after the first night was priceless. We proceeded to have hot, dirty, loud sex almost nightly for next 8 weeks until their lease was up and for a while after that. My ex even walked in on us in the living room once. Kinda d*ckish, but goddamn was it fun and there's no way i felt bad about it

tldr--My gf cheated on me, I have loud awesome sex with her roommate until the lease is up

6. NeverNudeDumplingCo used his natural resources.

At an all male military boarding school during high school, there was this HUGE douche on my hall. We took his Febreze bottle and filled it with piss. Then took said bottle and sprayed his pillow, wall locker and opposite corner. So he gets back, smells urine and immediately grabs his Febreze and douses EVERYTHING. Eat a d*ck, Donovan. Eat. A. D*ck.

7. popdisaster00's friendship is worth the poop.

I had a friend in high school who became an asshole during our senior year. There were a bunch of little things that added up to our friendship falling apart, but at the worst of it I pooped on his car one night. Real simple, I just crawled up on the hood of his car and took a shit on his windshield. I just knew that he'd walk outside the next day and think, "what the f*ck is this?"

Fun fact: we're actually great friends again now. He still has no idea it was me.

8. rolloxan scarred their friend for life.

My so-called 'best friend' in primary school stole my shiny Pokemon cards.

I was only 6 or so at the time, but that didn't stop me from being a sadistic little first grader, and having older brothers... well, let's just say I knew how things worked.

Guess who found out the truth about santa, the tooth fairy AND the power rangers all at once.

Don't f*ck with 6 year old me.

9. Yagamifyed did the math.

I was being bullied by this kid 2 years older than me in school, but I didn't want to tell the teachers or my parents, because I wanted to handle it myself. Anyway, he wasn't hitting me or anything, he was just verbally harassing me during the day; but hey, I was fine with that, I had plenty of friends to chill out with and he was a lonely bully. So we have to write a Physics exam, and we all have those Graphical Calculators. You can write programs in them and Archive them so a RAM reset can't delete the programs, only a Defaults reset can. Right before the exam, he came to me and told me to give him all the "cheat" programs I had. Well, what he did not know is that I prepared one with wrong formulas for that dickhead. When I transferred the program over to his calculator, I had a huge smile on my face. He got a 6 for that exam, which is equivalent to an F. Sweet sweet revenge. :-D

10. mmmmmmmmmmmmmk lost it.

My girlfriend of 3 years that I dated through high school broke up with me my first semester of college. We went to different schools and I later learned she was hooking up with one of her guy friends there. Anyways when we both were on break she asked me to bring back all the stuff she had given me, (presents, sweatshirts, cards, etc) so I drive to her house with all the things we've exchanged in the past 3 years, once I got to her house I saw that she had invited all her friends over and they were sitting with her along with her parents in the garage. Anyways I walk up with her sh*t and exchange, everyone there had that smirk on their face like they were laughing at me. Anyways as I give her back her things I say "if only I could give back your virginity" the look on her parents' faces was absolutely priceless, and I walked out of that lion's den with the biggest smile on my face.

11. TomDunbar is ride-or-die with Dad.

My neighbour knocked my Dad's motorcycle and simply left it on the floor, it smashed a mirror and they didn't even leave their insurance details. My Dad refused to call the police, saying they probably didn't notice, yet I saw them look at it and proceed to carry on with their usual lives. This annoyed me so much, I decided to call 20 taxis, 5 [Chinese food deliveries], and a stripper dressed as a policeman to their house all for 1 in the morning. It was a really d*ckish thing to do but we all do stupid things, right?

12. Deracinated plays mind games.

My best friend since I was 3 years old, started texting and flirting, then eventually sleeping with my boyfriend of 7 years. He was apologetic, regretful, and begging for me back, as was she. "It was a mistake," they said, "never happen again," they said. Until it happened again.. Well my best friend had this obsessive relationship with this guy Billy, who was so heartbroken by her infidelity, he came to me. He felt like a loser having just lost both his girl and his job, so I hired him at my job where I was a manager. We became good friends, and my now ex best friend was going nuts. I then started a rumor that Billy and I were dating and serious about it. She saw us in a car together, while I was bringing him home, and went f*cking nuts. She started driving like a psycho, and texting me saying "how could you do this to me??! Why would you do this to me??!" buit I ignored them. I dipped off the road, and dropped him off at home, and unfortunately had to fire him for stealing money from work.

All in all, I got my revenge. I f*cked with her head. I fucked with my ex's head. Got them all upset,but never actually did the horrible act of cheating that they did. But they all think I did, and I'm ok with that.

13. MajoraThief says "taste the rainbow."

My brother once stole my bag of Skittles and didn't admit to it. So I bought a bag and opened it carefully so that I could reseal it. I took every skittle, except the green apple, out and replaced them with m&ms. The look on his face was priceless.

20 people share the best life advice they've heard while eavesdropping.

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Inspiration isn't something you can force, and when people try to it comes off corny or cloying. But there are moments when you come across words of wisdom that stick with you for years, sometimes they even influence the entire course of your life.

In many cases, people dispensing sage words don't even realize they're doing it, and strangers in passing can feel more like gurus than people we're told to heed.

In a popular Reddit thread, people shared the most inspiring things they've heard while eavesdropping or going about their lives, and there's a lot of good stuff.

1. OP kicked it off with some words they overheard.

I was just at my local bashes eating lunch. There was a group of people at the table near me, all of whom were getting up there in the age department. They were just hanging out, laughing, having a good time with their friends. I wasn't really paying attention until I caught the end of a conversation where in one of the men said to rest of the group

"you can never be on top of the world if you're carrying it on your shoulders." Then he said "I'm going to tell that to my grand children so they know to dream big."

It pretty much opened my eyes to how great life could be if you just don't let it weigh you down. It got me wondering if anyone else had a similar moment of clarity just by listening in on someone else's discussion or catching the end of a conversation.

2. AutumnShade44 has been thinking about the pace of life.

"The world is moving so fast, these days, that the man who says it can't be done is often interrupted by the man doing it."

3. lolbaer doesn't take a day for granted.

Once was at a cafe when a group of seniors were just chit chatting. One elderly man said, "living this old I woke up one day realizing that my wife, friends, and everyone that I love are gone" I realized that day that the time I have with my loved ones is temporary and shouldn't be taken for granted.

4. raresaturn is glad they took the leap.

When debating with myself wether to call a girl I'd just met, a voice on the radio in the background said "to take no risk is the biggest risk of all". I called her and we've now been married 13 years.

5. apocaaaa thinks of K when they need courage.

Back in middle school I used to have to take the bus home everyday, and on the lucky days, the highlight of my day would be sitting near this girl I liked, we'll call her K. Whenever K took the bus, I made sure to get a seat near her to maybe get a word or two into whatever conversation she was having, to maybe possibly show up as a blip on her radar. One ride home near the beginning of summer it was particularly painfully awkward, and as K got off at her stop I managed a "bye..." that apparently sounded more like a whisper to myself than anything.

After she gets off, a random kid from my school turns around to me and says "Look dude, there's no point in waiting to ask her out. If you do it now and she says no, then that's a lot of time you saved chasing after something that will never work out anyways" Those words have really stuck with me since then, even though it's just something a random kid from my class said, it's been the quiet motivation in the back of my head that I needed whenever I ask a girl out.

6. hp94 knows the power of badges.

If you have a badge with a picture of your face on it, you can walk anywhere.

7. leximouse had a limo ride to remember.

Not eavesdropping, but a conversation I had with a limo driver heading to the airport several years ago. He told me he had started driving a limo in the last year when his company had layoffs and he couldn't find another job. He subsequently he had to sell his big house and move into a 2 bedroom apartment. I said something like, "I'm sorry to hear that". His reply was priceless:

"Why? It just made me realize I didn't need a big house. You can only live in one room at a time."

8. Terostero often thinks of their writing teacher's words.

Not necessarily eavesdropping, but in the last day of my technical writing course in college, my professor started a semi-philosophical conversation with the class. The meaning of life came up and everyone gave their answers. There were the cliché ones like "To be happy" and "To make the world a better place", but he said "You are all wrong, and you are all right. The meaning of life is to make life meaningful. The beauty of that comes from the idea that it's always different for everyone. Everyone's meaning is different, while everyone's is also the same. Whatever you choose to do in life, as long as you are doing it in a meaningful way, you bring meaning to your life." Then he dismissed us for the last time.

I don't believe I have been happier since.

9. Gumpster no longer looks for the path of least resistance.

"If you're going down a path and there's no obstacles it probably doesn't lead anywhere."

10. nobodysweasel thinks we all need a little Red Lobster in our life.

My sister overheard this one. It was a cellphone conversation in a Walmart. The guy said, "Put your clothes on b*tch, we're going to red lobster!" If that doesn't make you want to live a better life, nothing will.

11. whiteyonrice's boyfriend has a touching relationship with his parents.

Mine is more like technological eavesdropping, I actually saw a left open chat window on my boyfriend's computer and came upon this very poignant, heartwarming little conversation.

Long story short, my boyfriend is the son of Chinese immigrants who left good careers and their family to provide what they thought would be a better life for their children in Australia. It worked out pretty good for them, they started very poor but now own a home and have steady jobs and good income. Their children are doing really well, my boyfriend actually lives in the US now after going to college here on a full scholarship, and he is now enrolled in a PhD program in neuroscience.

My boyfriend's relationship with his parents is very different from mine, so I've never been able to understand the fact that he is okay talking to them very rarely, not seeing them for two-year periods, and just generally seeming kind of stand-offish towards them. I'm usually the one who reminds him to call them on Skype, and his mother often sends me messages asking how he is.

It's always worried me that he might be resentful of them for not being very available to him growing up while they were struggling to make a life in a new country. This chat I found changed my perspective, and brought me to tears. He was explaining to his mother what his PhD program was like, about the stipend he makes from it, classes, etc. and his mother was telling him over and over how excellent this was and how proud his family was of him.

At the end of their conversation she told him she was happy he was successful because "I wish you to get better than us." My boyfriend's response was "I will. Because of you." And that was when I knew that despite me not being able to understand his relationship with his parents, I can't deny his love and appreciation for the people who made the man he is today possible. Thanks, Susan and Andy.

tl;dr Discovered my that my first-gen immigrant boyfriend who doesn't talk to his parents much has a very deep appreciation of what their sacrifice made possible for him.

12. sweetreverie often thinks of the sparrow.

Heard this story while two of my friends were talking.

"Once there was a sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, once the weather got colder, he eventually started his flight south. After some time, ice began to form on his wings and he fell down in a farmyard, almost frozen. A cow walked by and crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end and that he was going to freeze, but the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing. Just then, a large cat came by, and, hearing the chirping, investigated the sounds. The cat dug away the manure, found the chirping bird, and ate him!"

The moral of the story and tl;dr: Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy, and not everyone who digs you out of sh*t is your friend. And, if you're in a pile of sh*t, keep your mouth shut!

13. frankledinkle is ready to get their success.

I work as a waitress. A mother and daughter were having lunch one day. As I passed by to check on them, I heard the mother say, "The best revenge is success". It really made an impact on me. This happened last week.

14. m_ell's dad has a tragic perspective.

Posted this before, but it's a good one.

My parents were visiting me at school this weekend. The weather was terrible, so all we did was drink and eat. On Saturday night, while killing time in a bar waiting for a dinner reservation, my dad started talking to an old man who happened to be a Vietnam War vet. My dad never talks about his experiences to anyone who doesn't have a military background, so while my mom and boyfriend were giggling and drinking, I had an ear turned towards my dad's conversation.

The most he's ever told me about his time in the service was in the 6th grade for a report, and that was a stiff and uncomfortable experience. After talking about building firebases, having bleeding and cracked feet during monsoon season, and all sorts of awe inspiring things I'd never heard him breathe a word of, he told the old man that one of his buddies, who was black (and died in Vietnam), told him:

"You'll know what it's like to be a n****er when you go back home."

Sure enough, all the stories my mom told me about my dad being spit on, and having to dig ditches because no one would hire veterans suddenly slid in to place. I've always had a huge amount of respect for my dad for never being racist, despite being caught right in the middle of the civil rights movement (we're talking about a guy who has a foot long scar down his side from being randomly stabbed with a box cutter in his high school for being white), but goddamn. This is something that'll stick with me for the rest of my life.

TL;DR: Heard my dad liken his experience as a veteran to being black during the civil rights movement, hit me like a bag of bricks.

15. DatGuy45 had a depressing realization.

"The one who loves the least controls the relationship." My mum said this and I found a little pocket-book of little things like that. I'll see if I can dig it up. It's been a quote that's really stuck with me and constantly proven itself true throughout my relationships.

16. Oserious stays walking forward.

I was walking around the main street in my town one afternoon. I passed a group of people walking the opposite way and overheard one of them say "we walk forward, or we don't walk at all." I probably heard it completely out of context, but it inspired me to keep moving on in my life, despite any and all hardships, or else I wouldn't call what I was doing life.

17. Shagro now rides the wave.

Two guys were a table over at a bar I was at and were talking about one of their girlfriends and how this guy, although he loved his girl didn't know if he was too young to be getting so serious. His buddy responded, 'dude don't worry, just ride the wave until it breaks.' I thought that was a pretty good metaphor.

18. bezenartw absorbed some RuPaul wisdom.

Overheard while half watching tv with my girlfriend "If you can't love yourself, then how the f*ck are you going to love someone else?"

19. st_basterd feels inspired to live it up.

Eavesdropping. But I once heard a guy say that he'd rather live his life according to his mistakes than by blindly following the paths of others. Thought that was cool.

Also, "If you haven't been to jail at least once, well you're not really living life to the fullest." Said by a guy in jail.

20. FluffyJewBagger tries to keep a smile.

I was working at chipotle and I regularly go out and ask the customers how the food was because I am on of the more regular cooks and enjoy feedback. Anyways I was walking out to the dining room and I was grabbing a few trays of people food asking my questions... I look over and there's a fairly regular guy who had bought a homeless man some food.

I walked back by about 3 minutes later as they were getting up to leave and as they shook hands, the man said " It doesn't matter what anyone does with their life.. as long as they have a smile on their face while doing what they do".. That man is COMPLETELY right... It doesn't matter what you do as long as you're happy.

19 times wives mocked their husbands for failing at domestic tasks.

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The "my dumb husband!" trope is the bedrock of many sitcoms and movies. But apparently it's also the reality for many married couples. Because no matter how smart a guy is or how functional he is in most areas of life, there may be certain domestic tasks that somehow evade his grasp. Or maybe he's just trolling?! Either way, his wife is going to make fun of him for it (and he might end up sleeping on the couch later).

The internet is crawling with photos and stories of husbands who failed at seemingly simple domestic tasks—either accidentally, or to troll their wives. Here are 19 funny examples:

1.) The husband who failed at giving his wife a Mother's Day card.

2.) The husband who failed at pancake portrature.

3.) The husband who bought memory foam for "his side of the bed."

Remote file

4.) The husband who failed at post-dinner clean-up.

5.) The husband who accidentally texted his friends about his wife's waxing appointment.

6.) The husband who used his wife's body as a palate for his penis-art (that's not a euphemism)

7.) The husband who failed at getting his wife tampons.

8.) This husband who belongs in prison.

9.) This husband who failed at stirring.

10.) This husband who is great at counting but bad at grocery shopping.

11.) This husband who wasted a perfectly good bath bomb.

12.) This husband who has no patience for zip-lock.

13.) This husband who skimped on toilet paper.

14.) This husband who is probably single now.

15.) This husband whose wife used hashtags to ask for a #divorce.

16.) This husband whose attempt to impress his wife backfired.

17.) This husband who thinks he's funny and his wife might not agree.

18.) This husband who left his wife a "gift" so she left.

19.) This husband who trolled his wife on her birthday.

Guy asks if he was wrong to request heavy metal song after bride told him that it ruined the wedding.

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This Bridezilla/Am I The A**hole? crossover event is what the internet's dreams are made of.

A bride freaked out at her husband's (now ex-?) friend for playing heavy metal music at the reception.

Heavy metal—the Devil's music!—at a holy church affair!

The guy feels so guilty that he made a throwaway Reddit account just to get opinions on it.

ThrowAWMetalFan writes:

My wife (30F) and I (32M) were invited to my friend (31M)’s wedding. He’s a fairly close friend. We have seen each other about 2-3 times a year since we were 10. He got married to his longtime girlfriend who we have met a handful of times.

He is now a lawyer his wife in med school and their parents are all dentists and pharmacists and doctors etc. To call this wedding extravagant is like calling the Mona Lisa a nice drawing. We added up the things we knew the cost of and got to 100,000 USD and there were lots of things we didn’t know the cost of. If you told me they spent half a million I would believe you. There were approx. 400 people at the event.

The wedding was very nice. Big church big dress teams of photographers and videographers. Dinner was crazy huge and very fancy.

They had hired a band as well as two DJs In front of this large sound setup were 5 iPads where you could request music. My wife and I go to the machines and start browsing. Well I found the song Bloodletting by Burn the Priest (if you don’t know it go check it out it will provide some context) so I click on it and it sends it off. I figured if it was in there maybe there were some other metal fans there or at the very least that the DJ sees the requests and makes decisions. Honestly I didn’t think much past “oh cool man” and smashed the screen (it was open bar obviously).

Here's where things go bad. Listen to the song embedded above while reading it to get the full effect:

About half an hour later the song comes on. Those of you who know the song or went to check it out know how it’s extremely intense right from the start. My wife and I are like “f*ck ya!” and run to the dance floor. After a few minutes of head banging and body checking my wife I look up to see we’re the only ones on the dance floor and the bride is yelling at the DJ.

It didn’t take long for everyone to figure out what just happened so her anger turns to us. Guys, she f*cking lost it. We ruined her wedding, we’re terrible people, something about satan at a godly event. I wish I could remember more of what she said cause it was amazing. She storms off, bridesmaids in tow. I find my friend (the groom) to try and smooth things over. He’s not mad at all he thought is was hilarious and was about to grab his groomsmen and join us but his wife stopped him. I apologized for causing what was probably their first fight as a married couple and ask if he can use his lawyer skills to help me get back on his wife’s good side. He says he’s not that good a lawyer lol. We make a few more jokes and he leaves to go check on his wife. We head home soon after since we seem to be getting a lot of odd looks.

The day after the wedding I start feeling bad about it. With the alcohol cloud now gone I feel like maybe I was TA for picking such an intense song at an event that probably wasn’t appropriate for it. But on the other hand if you’re going to allow guests to pick songs there’s a good chance someone will pick something you don’t like.

This has been bugging me for days so reddit AITA [Am I The A**hole]?

The bride reacted to the screaming with SCREAMING.

Opinions are split, and folks...we got ourselves a hung jury.

Arguing for "You're the A**hole," MuppetusMaximusargues:

Yes, of course YTA [You're The Asshole]. Look, I get it, we all make dumb drunk decisions. But a wedding is like one of the last places to put a metal song on (unless, of course, it's like a big metalhead wedding and that's the theme). You have to know that it's inappropriate to put a metal song on at a wedding reception.

Now are you truly a bad person? No, of course not. It was just a failure to read the room. I probably would have reacted the same way your buddy did.

iphonehome9 blames the DJs, plural:

The DJ(s) are the a**holes. A wedding has 3 hours of dancing. That means about 60 songs. They hired 2 professional DJs and they couldn't plan 60 songs for the night? That's why you hire DJs in the first place. If the couple insisted on the [iPads] then it is partially their fault and partially the DJs fault.

According to sumg, Everybody Sucks Here:

The family was being dramatic, but you should well know that metal is a niche taste and one likely not appreciated by the crowd you were in. You care more about your own enjoyment than the enjoyment of everyone else in the room.

But, like the dude above, "sumg" primarily blames the DJ for even making metal an option.

To quote the heavy metal song, *INDECIFERABLE LOUD SCREAMS*

23 Workplace Memes For Anyone Who Wants To Quit Their Job.

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"The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one."

-Oscar Wilde

It sucks going to work every damn day knowing there are 9-year-olds making double your salary on Youtube. Life is hard as hell, but at least we can laugh at these awesome workplace memes and dream of early retirement.

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23 Memes To Help You Start Your Day Off With A Chuckle.

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“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”

–A. A. Milne

Make the most of your day by starting it off with a laugh or two. This randomly funny collection of memes is the best way to pack some humor into your morning.

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Newlyweds ask if they're wrong to ditch honeymoon after husband's parents show up.

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Remember when a man on his honeymoon asked the internet if it would be ok to cut off his family for showing up to join the vacation?

Apparently some families out there need a very serious lesson in healthy boundaries. In case you've forgotten or you're one of the many virgins on ABC's "The Bachelor," honeymoons are for happy hours, dinner, and lots of...um..."alone time." They're not for family fun days and awkward breakfasts with your in-laws.

Planning a wedding is already so centered on family events, it's fine for the honeymoon to be completely family-free. Between the shower, rehearsal dinner, wedding day, and post-wedding activities most couples get more than enough time with their relatives. Unless, of course, you're these families on Reddit...

Luckily, Reddit's "Am I the As*hole?" section is free therapy for anyone concerned that they're not handling a conflict properly. What would we do without Reddit's powerful moral compass to guide us on all wedding-related bridezilla and groomzilla affairs? It would certainly be a dark world...

Question: WIBTA (Would I be the As*hole) for running away on our honeymoon?

(not from my husband)

My husband and I are on our honeymoon. His parents gifted us a week in an all inclusive hotel at no cost to us as a wedding gift, and we were really grateful. On arriving we found out that they'd also booked a room at this hotel for themselves for the whole week and want to do group things. Outside of this, we see them maybe 2 or 3 times a year for a couple days at a time as he finds them a bit overbearing at times and they don't really like me.

It's not like they're in the room next door or anything and we can still do stuff in our room alone but they knock on our door regularly, waking us up at 6am, making us get all 3 meals a day with them. We've tried telling them we wanted "alone time" for our honeymoon and they shrugged us off saying that's what our room is for. We also tried faking illness to get out of eating with them and they just got room service to our room and sat with us while we faked stomach aches. My husband snapped earlier and said this whole thing was way over the line and they had no right intruding on our honeymoon of all things, and they told us that they paid for this whole thing and that as adults we're allowed to take holidays at the same time to the same place.

We've been talking and we saved up to pay for our own honeymoon before they surprised us. We still have the money we would have spent in our joint wedding/honeymoon account. There's another town we wanted to go to on our honeymoon and we looked it up and we could get tickets from here to there and then back home for less than £60 total. We could also book a few days in a nice hotel for about half of what's left in our wedding/honeymoon fund and use the remainder of the week we booked off in another town without his parents knowing we'd left until we had.

It's 9pm now, there's trains from here to the other town every hour, plus more half-hourly trains tomorrow.

Would we be the arseholes if we ran away from his parents without telling them?

Yikes! This is definitely an awkward situation, especially because the parents paid for the vacation. However, it is their honeymoon and they deserve privacy--especially privacy from their parents and in-laws. Naturally, people were there for them:

"mm172" wrote:

Why are you sitting here writing this? Go! Catch your train! Be free!

"Mamatoboysx3" wrote:

As much as I agree I'm just throwing it out there that if you worked hard to save this $ it seems a shame to not use it for the whole intended length of time. I know it is awful but maybe consider sticking it out and going away on am especially amazing 1st anniversary trip together?

Oh and all the suggestions to make this trip as bearable as possible... Sneak away on an excursion without telling them. Stay in your room all day and order room service (if they come knocking have one of you answer the door in only a towel and say it's not a good time and immediately close the door, every time for the whole day). Use sound effects from a phone to scare them away from the door... I mean might as well have as much fun with it as possible!

"PedanticPlatypodes" wrote:

They deliberately withheld the knowledge that they would also be there from you and your husband until you were committed to the trip and had arrived. That is a seriously sketchy move, and you're under no obligation to make your honeymoon about them.

"keepstaring" wrote:

"they told us that they paid for this whole thing and that as adults we're allowed to take holidays at the same time to the same place."

According to that logic, you can pack up and leave imo and take your honeymoon in another place with your own money.

NTA, this is ridiculous on their part and even really creepy. I can't imagine what shit they are going to pull when you guys would decide to have kids... Now seems a perfect time to make your boundaries clear. You tried talking to them, if they don't listen you need to take drastic measures. Pack up and get on that train.

"Jason_Samu" wrote:

You're free to travel wherever you want, whenever you want.

Turn your cell phone off and disappear for a few days with your husband. Have a real honeymoon.

Running away from his parents on a train makes for a great story 10 years from now. Being cooped up in a hotel having tea with Mom and Dad for a week makes for a terrible story 10 years from now.

"Ms1776" wrote:

DO IT!!! You don't get this time back.

Run and if they or anyone else tries to guilt trip you just stick to that you were not informed they would be joining you on your honeymoon, and no one in their right mind would willing spend their honeymoon with their in-laws popping in sporadically. How are you supposed to "enjoy one another" when they just randomly knock or muscle their way in with room service?

Also, remind them (if you're planning on having kids) that their behavior now, dictates visitation in the future. If they're willing to bulldoze through your boundaries noe, how much worse will they be with grandkids?

Later, the post was edited:

our train should be arriving in our final station in the next 30 mins, we've found a hotel that's able to take us tonight, and we are very excited about the next 4 days

Yay good for them! If you're a parent out there thinking about making your son or daughter's honeymoon your vacation too, think again. They don't want you there. They REALLY don't want you there. Also, if you're about to marry someone who is fine with their parents crashing your honeymoon, cut it off now. You'll thank us later.

24 people share the meanest backhanded compliments they've ever received.

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If you don't have anything nice to say, phrase it as a compliment.

People are sharing the most insulting backhanded "compliments" they ever received, and it's like a Hall of Fame of Passive Aggression. You can just see them all coming out of Regina George's mouth.

1. "Wow, you look so cute today! I didn't even recognize you at first"

-lazyginger

2. "My friend was complaining about creeps hitting on her, then she told me 'I wish I could be invisible like you.'"

-meri_28

3. "'You actually look good!' The emphasis on 'actually' and the surprise in my friends voice still haunts me."

-pat_patrol

4. "Says someone else is super ugly, then 'You're even prettier than her!'"

-The-Berger

5. "'Wow you're really good! I bet you could even play guitar if you wanted.' Said to me, after a gig. I'm a bassist."

-WastaSpace

6. "You're so funny! Now I get why she's dating you"

-nails_for_breakfast

7. ''At least you don't look like a boy anymore'- when I was growing out my hair more."

-OkDuck1

8. "'I have a fat girl fetish' made me lose weight though so worked out for the best."

-whatgray

9. "Wow your face almost makes up for (pauses) the rest"

-alltheselittleones

10. "I constantly get 'wow you're really good at video games for a girl.' Thanks, I guess."

-Despite_Snow

11. "'I can find something attractive in anyone, like Context, your eyebrows are really nice.'

She genuinely thought that was a nice compliment"

-ContextIsForTheWeak

12. "You know, it's really great that society is so much more accepting of your kind these days."

-Marionetteberry

13. "Ya know, you'd be STUNNING if you lost a few pounds! You're pretty NOW, but if you lost the weight * Italian chef finger kiss *"

-Mrs_carroll

14. "'I don’t know why everyone hates you and thinks you’re annoying. You seem okay to me!'

High school sucked"

-dexterr96

15. "'You’re smarter than I thought' helping my then BEST friend in a math class."

-hardycash

16. "'Don't worry, I think of you as white.'

A workmate trying to make me feel better after a racist slur was used against me. He thought it was a compliment...sigh."

-MdmMedeux

17. "Your German is pretty good for a foreigner.

I was born in Germany. I was raised in Germany. I've spoken (with them) German for years. Hell, I don't even look foreign."

-generalIro

18. "You’re still pretty hot for a woman with small t*ts' b*tch what?"

-BABYPUNK

19. "'It’s good to see your still trying.' From a rando on a dating site."

-Brother_Boomstick

20. "'Omg, you've lost so much weight! What's your secret?' - I'd been seriously ill for nearly a year. They knew I was sick. I will never understand this comment."

-peaches13185

21. "Your girlfriend is so great!, How the hell did you pull that off?"

-ad1877

22. "'You look better without your glasses.' Hmmmmm....that's funny, you look better without my glasses too."

-kc-fan

23. "'Your hair looks really good, I like a little grey!'...I had no idea I had grey hair."

-ryanino

24. "When I was 16 I was told by an old lady taking my measurements for my prom dress that I must be German because I had such wide birthing hips. I mean I am German, so..."

-AggieChristie

Mom shares honest post about how being a parent makes her 'not recognize' herself anymore.

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Children might be small, but raising them is no small task. Even the most mild-mannered child requires hours of potty training, sleepless nights, and inevitable messes caused by surly two-year-olds who disagree with the concept of pants.

While parenthood can be immensely rewarding, and the bond with a child can bring a lot of love and joy into your life, it's also such an all encompassing job it can sap you of energy and time for anything else.

When the mom Kate Swenson started her site Finding Cooper’s Voice to talk to about the difficulties of parenthood, she quickly grew a following for her refreshing transparency.

In one of her most recent posts Swenson opened up about the ways being a mother has given her an identity crisis, and how she often misses the parts of her she used to cultivate.

I Never Knew Being A Mother Would Be So Hard For You... Hi, my name is Kate and I am 36 and I’m having a serious case...

Posted by Finding Cooper's Voice on Monday, February 3, 2020

She opened up her post by writing that she might be suffering from post-partum depression, an identity crisis, or just plain old burnout.

I Never Knew Being A Mother Would Be So Hard For You...

Hi, my name is Kate and I am 36 and I’m having a serious case of lost identity. Or maybe it’s a midlife crisis. Or a little post-partum depression. Or maybe I’m just tired, overweight and mentally drained.

Swenson shared that she loves her three boys, her husband, and her job. She recognizes she is blessed and considers her life a net win. However, that doesn't stop her from feeling lost along the way.

Who knows which one.

I have three boys, a husband, a home, and a job I love. I am beyond blessed.

I have devoted my life to the humans in my life. And again, most days, I am happy to do it. But some days, some weeks, I don’t feel that way. I feel like I have lost myself along the way.

There are countless days where Swenson no longer recognizes herself in the mirror, where she feels exhaustion consuming her.

I look in the mirror and I hardly recognize myself anymore. And as I approach middle agedness, that is really scary.

It’s not that I necessary look old. It’s that I look like someone I don’t even recognize. I look tired. I look like I’ve let myself go. I look angry. I look really rushed.

Rushed to shower. Rushed to eat. Rushed at stoplights. Rushed at pick up and drop off. Rushed to get dinner on the table. Even rushed at Target. Rushed to type this because a baby is screaming and one is getting off the bus in 11 minutes.

And that can’t possibly be me. Rushed. I'm typically unrattled. I'm the one who can handle anything. The boy mom. The special needs mom. The happy one. The positive one. I always smile. I always find the joy.

On these days, Swenson writes, she feels guilty for not wanting to play with her kids, for resenting her husband for his spare moments alone, for feeling like she wasted her education.

But lately, I feel almost empty.

When I’m with my kids I feel guilty for not working and when I’m working I feel guilty for not playing with my kids more. It’s a lose lose at times.

I feel like I wasted my education. I feel like a housekeeper, a cook, a chauffer, and a ring leader. I feel like I always have sick kids and I can't finish the laundry or squeeze my butt into my fat jeans. I know I’m a good mom. I don’t doubt myself in that department. But I also feel like all I am is a mom sometimes.

I feel like I’m disappearing into nothing. Some days I am shocked at what upsets me. I didn’t know I could be jealous of my husband for getting to poop alone. He’ll be in the bathroom, on his phone, and I’ll be angry.

I’ll yell for him to hurry up as one kid is crying, the other one needs to be fed and the phone is ringing.

The other day my husband and I drew straws to determine who got to go upstairs and change the pee sheets. Because it meant 5 minutes alone. I lost.

That’s what it’s come too.

There are times, Swenson writes, when showers feel like a luxury and she zooms out from her life and wonders how it arrived at this point in time.

I didn’t know that I could consider a shower a luxury either. Or not have time to do it. It blows my mind.

I am a very capable woman and I can’t find time to shower. I laugh even as I type it.

But with a baby, a very socially active 6 year old and a severely autistic child, showers have to be before 5 am or after 10 pm. And by that point, this mama is exhausted.

Swenson writes there are days she misses having the time and wherewithal to "get cute" and plan outfits.

I used to care about how I looked. Like really care. I ate well. I exercised. I showered. I put makeup on. I’d peek at hashtags on Instagram like ‘outfits for summer’ and pin cute outfits. Now, I wear hoodies. Dirty ones. Grey t-shirts.

I grab my clothes off of the floor every morning.

And the sad part is I almost don’t care. I’m too tired to care. There are so many more important things to do than look cute. Like sleep. Or get my job done. Or go to Sawyer’s baseball game. And I choose those things with happiness.

But then, I see myself, and feel sad. I feel like I’ve lost myself. Almost entirely.

One of the hardest parts, Swenson writes, is knowing that even if she regained motivation and desire to revisit past interests, there is simply no time for them.

I have no hobbies. I have no time to do anything. I just care for kids. For my home. I keep the ship going.

I watch tv shows in 15 minute increments. I stare at my phone for entertainment. I answer text messages three days late.

I’m nonstop busy and yet bored at the same time. It’s a bizarre way to feel.

The paradox of motherhood is simultaneously feeling like you're busy 24/7 while feeling bored and unstimulated.

I don’t know how to fix this funk I’m in. But I’m working on it. I just want to stand still. I want to sit. I want to walk. I want to remember who I am. And what I like to do.

I want to slow down so I can enjoy this. Because I don’t want to miss it. I don’t want to resent it. I don’t want to be angry. What I’ve learned is that there is only so much of me. And I need to find balance.

Swenson capped off the post by writing that her goal this year is to strike a new balance in her life, one that allows her to savor moments with the family while still feeling like her own person.

This year I will find balance in motherhood, marriage, my job, my home and my sanity. That's my goal. Learn to laugh more too and give myself more grace.

Come join our group where we talk about motherhood and raise each other up! https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/772295979579532/

Other moms quickly filled up the comments with support and solidarity for Swenson, encouraging her that these feelings won't last forever.

Several moms encouraged Swenson by pointing out she'll find more time for herself as the boys grow older, and this phase of intensity won't last forever.

Others encouraged her to remember the small things she can do to remind herself of the "good old days" even while in the midst of parenting chaos.

Based on the outpouring of love and solidarity, it's clear that Swenson is far from alone when it comes to dealing with identity issues as a mother. And while it's horrible that women feel an impossible pressure to be all things at once, speaking up about these difficult feelings helps demystify them, which is a form of freedom in itself.

Woman wants to ditch brother's wedding after he refused to invite sister's platonic life partner.

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Should non-traditional partnerships be given the same benefits as romantic relationships? In this story, the "couple" in question are legally married platonic life partners which, tbh, is pretty f*cking cool. But the woman's brother, who is getting married, disagrees and is opposed to their "illegal" partnership. The two have another sister who is on the side of her sister and sister's partner—and now she wants to skip the wedding in solidarity.

What a mess! Luckily, the website Reddit provides a forum where complete strangers can advise us on how to best handle the complicated nightmares that can arise when dealing with our next-of-kin. The woman posted her story on Reddit's "Am I The A**hole?" forum, asking for advice on how to handle this messy situation.

The woman explains that her sister, Beth, has lived with her friend John for 15 years. They are legally married for the benefits but are technically "platonic life partners."

My sister Beth has lived with her friend John for the past fifteen years. They are platonic life partners, they both own their house, share finances, and are planning retirement together. They got legally married a few years ago because they wanted all the rights and benefits of being next of kin. They literally just signed the paperwork and that was it. They don't wear rings or call each other husband and wife.

The two began their non-traditional partnership after going through a traumatic event gave them both PTSD. So they moved in together for emotional support.

The backstory for how they ended up living together is that Beth and John suffered a very traumatic experience that gave them both PTSD. They originally moved in together temporarily for emotional support, and also because Beth had a temporary disability and needed help. They decided that they liked being together and seem to have a good life. Not everyone needs a traditional marriage. Maybe things would have been different if the traumatic event hadn't happened, but that's irrelevant. Beth is happy now, and that's what matters.

Their brother, Ben, dislikes John and doesn't approve of their situation. He believes they're "co-dependent" and that the marriage is "illegal."

My brother Ben started to dislike John after Beth decided to stay with him. Ben is convinced that John has a hold over Beth and stopped her from dating other people. I don't think there's any evidence of that, Beth and John have been friends for almost 30 years and there's never been any sign that John is manipulative. Beth has a job, other friends, and does plenty on her own, so I don't agree when Ben says they are co-dependent. Ben also thinks that their marriage is illegal, which it's not. Fortunately, Ben usually keeps his feelings quiet, since he knows he's outnumbered.

Now Ben is getting married and refuses to invite John since he is "just a friend" of Beth's and their marriage is "fake."

Ben is getting married, and he and his fiancee said that they were only inviting partners of people in serious relationships, not casual dates or random plus ones. That's fair, except that John isn't invited. Ben said that since John is "just a friend" and that their marriage is "fake" he wouldn't invite John.

The woman tried to convince Ben it was wrong to exclude John since he's always been invited to family events, and it makes Beth happy when he's around. Ben wouldn't back down.

I tried to convince Ben that it was wrong to exclude John. John has been invited to every family event since he and Beth started living together and it would be a slap in the face to decide he doesn't count. He said John and Beth's relationship was creepy, and I pointed out to him that we should be glad Beth is even alive, and that we shouldn't judge what makes her happy, since we can't imagine what Beth has been through. I reminded him that Beth and John's friend who initially survived the incident is dead from drug addiction, and that if John helped Beth be happy and avoid that, than we should be glad he's there. Ben accused me of being emotionally manipulative and wouldn't back down.

Now Beth won't go to the wedding since John's not invited, and her sister (the original poster) wants to ditch it too in solidarity, which means her husband and kids also wouldn't go.

Beth won't go to the wedding if John isn't invited, and I'm considering not going either because I feel like I should be supportive of her. My husband won't go if I don't want to, and I think my kids won't go without us.

Would I be wrong for not going, and my family likely not going either? I'd hate to miss a family wedding, but I also don't want to act like I'm okay with another family member being left out for no good reason.

So is the original poster in the wrong here? Obvi not.

Commenters all seem to agree that the brother is being the a**hole here, and that the sister has every right to boycott his wedding.

Many are pointing out that it's just plain weird and wrong for Ben to oppose Beth and John's relationship so vehemently, especially given that they have a shared traumatic history and clearly depend on one another.

ZeusMN85 writes:

This is a very weird hill for your brother to decide he wants to die on. If he wants to make a point about how he feels about Beth and John's relationship, this is not the right way to do it. If you and the rest of your family view John as a part of your family, and that by excluding him your brother is excluding a member of your family, then by all means boycott his wedding.

pcnauta agrees, writing:

"This is a very weird hill for your brother to decide he wants to die on."

Agreed.

And, sadly, there is really only one thing to do when someone does this...

...give him what he wants (i.e. to 'die' on that hill)

He is willing (and possibly wanting) to cut himself off from his entire family just because he has a bug up his butt about his sister's partner.

So accept his offer and cut him off.

And not just his wedding.

The whole family should go NC with him unless/until he apologizes.

Many commenters believe that John and Beth's relationship is valid even if it's not sexual or romantic.

cyanocittaetprocyon writes:

Its amazing that they've been together for the past 15 years, and your brother still only considers them "friends". John is as much a part of the family as any other spouse. If John isn't invited, this would seem like something worth boycotting a wedding for.

ThePointIsMoo writes:

Right? Sure they’re “friends” but they’re also legally married and have lived together for over a decade. Is the difference that they’re (presumably) not in a sexual relationship? What a weird/creepy distinction.

And KahurangiNZ writes:

Not to mention that a good relationship is far far more about the friendship than the sex. It's not all that uncommon to not be getting much or even any sex at all at that point (15 years together), depending on where life has taken them (kids, work etc). Heck, there are asexual/aromantic people who get married and live long happy lives together without EVER having that side of a relationship.

If OP's brother has genuine concerns that the friend/hubby is preventing her from forming other romantic/sexual relationships, he should be showing the family PROOF. Suspicions are not sufficient.

These are all really great and interesting points. Aren't most marriages pretty much platonic partnerships after a number of years, anyway? Beth and John are couple #goals.

13 people share stories of their 'craziest' neighbors.

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If you live in a beautiful, harmonious neighborhood where everyone gets along then consider yourself Mr. Rogers.

Especially in an apartment building, getting along with your neighbors can be difficult. Between thin walls in very old buildings, rearranging furniture at every hour of the day, stomping, banging and loud weekend parties--you can get to know strangers pretty intimately whether you like it or not.

In a suburban neighborhood, interactions with neighbors can include a wave in the car every now and then or a constant string of children's birthday parties, block parties and yard sales you can't really say no to.

So, when a recent Reddit user asked, "Reddit, what is your crazy neighbor story?" people were ready to share their wildest moments.

1. Wow, "mandolinwars"

Neighbour took me to court and tried to sue me for $24,000 because my dog growled at her and caused her emotional distress.

2. Damn, "cpl1."

A bunch of old folks moved out and some new neighbours came in. They met us once to ask permission for barbecuing. That was literally the only time I saw them.

They'd never come out. You'd never see them morning or evening. They were never at the local shops and when they moved in we did they had like 15 mattresses for a 4 bed house which raised some red flags but we didn't think much of it because they were quiet.

Turns out they were running a brothel in there.

3. Interesting, "sheepinwolfsclothes."

Next door neighbor sent us a letter through the mail asking us to never park in front of their house after I parked there once. Kicker is a couple of years later they seem to have started some illegal home business with employees and every single day there are at least three cars parked in front of our house.

4. Ha, "schilpr."

Very religious neighbor came to pick us up for church every Sunday morning.. We kindly declined every time, never made a big deal out of it.

Sold the house, the new owners got a judge to issue a no-contact order, the overly religious neighbors were not even allowed to walk by the house anymore.

5. This poor raccoon, "mandolinwars."

I lived in a complex of sorts with stacked townhouses and a communal backyard. One night I went out for a smoke and heard a commotion. There is a cracked out middle aged woman who is yelling at her upstairs neighbour for stealing her raccoon. Yes, she yelled that it was her raccoon because she left a bag of sugar out for it which is apparently a delicacy to raccoons. The raccoon was on the upstairs neighbours' balcony so to get it back she constructed this ramshackle stairway of garbage (upturned garbage cans, broken chairs, etc) and tried to climb up while wielding a hula hoop. She managed to get to the top of garbage mountain and somehow thought she could trap the raccoon with a hula hoop (????). Other neighbour came out and a fight ensued with upstairs neighbour biting her. Police were called. Raccoon was never seen again.

6. This should be...a movie. "iph0ne."

I lived next to three bro-type mid twenties guys, who clearly all just found each other on craigslist, for a year a while back. Row homes so we shared a wall. I'm just gonna give them all names. Brad, Dave, and Sherman. Here are some highlights:

Brad's girlfriend knocking on OUR door at 3am to have a fight with him and then barging into our house and falling asleep on our couch. Then he showed up, and they had their fight in our living room, then she left, then he left and came back five minutes later with a bottle of whisky and drank it, by himself, while he sat on our stoop in his tank top, basketball shorts, long socks and sandals. Around 9 in the morning I heard her waking him up by screaming his name at the top of her lungs about five times. He passed out on the stoop.

Sherman and Dave showing up to a party at our house, uninvited, with a case of beer that turned out to be empty. They bragged about it to our other, female, roommate. Who kicked them out.

All three of them standing outside of our houses whenever we had a party, trying to get girls to come to their party instead.

Brad crashing his dads car into Sherman's car which in turn, crashed into our other neighbors car. Everyone was in their car when this happened. First thing out of Brads mouth "Sorry dude I was itching my balls" they all laughed it off, except for our other neighbor, who called the cops.

Brad getting a DUI for crashing his dad's car into Sherman's car which in turn crashed into our other neighbors car and dropping several N bombs during his arrest.

All three of them getting arrested for peeing off of their roof into their own backyard, mid day, sh*tfaced, on Easter. They narrowly escaped being charged with exposing themselves to minors since they were in plain view of our neighbors family gathering.

Brad moved out after that, and the last time we saw him, he had one of those "comfy" toilet seats around his neck while carrying a box of his belongings which were: A lamp, a framed picture of himself graduating from high school, some socks, a weight, and a bottle of head and shoulders.

Sherman making us cookies because they had a party and threw all of their trash into our back yard, all night long, because they ran out of trash bags.

Dave sobbing in his room all night long.

Dave getting banned from the local bar because he was on some unknown substance and repeatedly passed out in progressively stranger places and positions.

Dave getting re-banned from the local bar when he had attempted to use a menu to obscure his face while having Sherman order.

Dave sitting on our stoop drinking moonshine literally all morning, while holding some sort of legal textbook, and telling every passing woman that he was studying for his LSATS (false). Dave also tried this on my roommates girlfriend and her mom, and when they just walked passed him leaving us momentarily together on the stoop before I closed the door, said "dude can you believe chicks are falling for this?"

Dave and Sherman arguing about whether or not Dave s*it himself.

Dave falling off our roof and landing in our very large overgrown rosebush.

Sherman getting into a trash fight/verbal argument with an old Chinese woman who had beaten him to a book case someone else on our street threw away.

Sherman losing that fight.

The two weeks in which Dave had a girlfriend and was clearly lying about his job/having a job. He would actually leave his house with her every morning, in a shirt and tie, sweaty as f*ck, drive her to work, and come home. Then leave again and come back with her. He would also make a big show of being a sober healthy individual who, you know, sometimes drank but "never really got drunk" and "didn't really like how it felt." He usually gave you this speech while swigging from a gallon bottle of water and sweating profusely.

The time Dave crashed his car in an empty parking lot while he was black out drunk, after running three consecutive red lights and evading arrest somehow, and then just went home, prompting the police to show up and straight up arrest him at 3am. It was during this interaction that someone let it slip that this is like his umpteenth drinking related arrest and his girlfriend stopped yelling at the cops and started yelling at him while he just kept shouting some sh*t about it just being mouth wash and for the cops to just "get her home safe" "I'll sort it all out baby I promise" "baby why are you crying? Aw babe..."

The second time Dave fell off of our roof, but this time he missed the bush and landed on the concrete and spent the next hour and a half crying like a baby for someone to come help him. Then he yelled at us for not getting their quicker. This was the day we realized we were on a first name basis with several police officers.

Sherman has his computer seized by the police.

Sherman is arrested for...corporate...espionage...which...obviously....

Anyway with Sherman moving on to better things, we now enter the "Just Dave" era. Some highlights:

Dave forgetting which door was his about twice a week.

Dave locking himself out almost every day somehow.

Dave cutting his belly open climbing into our alley because he locked himself out and covering both of our backyards in blood.

Dave getting banned for the THIRD time, from the local bar, for trying to sneak in one of the many rotating underage "good time party bros" or drug dealers. And then popping his stitches and bleeding everywhere. While wearing a cowboy hat and fake facial hair. I dunno if that was part of his plan or just some other adventure.

This is also when we started actively f*cking with him because we knew he was moving out and that his landlord had sold the house to some young gentrifier. He was allowed to see out his lease as long as there was no more damage (the place was a disaster at this point) and no more major incidents of any kind. We put every speaker in our house up against our shared wall and played recordings of giant turtles mating, and responded to his texts with "nah man no ones home, not us" until he finally flipped out and called the cops, but we heard him doing it during a gap in the sounds, and so we called the cops and said the noise was coming from his place, hid the speakers, and left. He got a citation, and so somewhere in writing, he's been charged with playing animal mating sounds at a volume exceeding acceptable levels.

I would pick up rocks from the construction site across the street, and place them on his side of the stoop, right in front of his door. Each night I grabbed a bigger rock, until one day there was essentially a piece of debris the size of a basketball just sitting in front of his door. My room is above the stoop, and every morning I'd been watching him move the rocks and becoming more and more frustrated. I did this for at least two weeks. In the morning when he saw the giant rock, he finally lost it. Flipped out, screaming, pacing angrily, whole nine. The "invisible conspiracy I can't believe none of you sheeple see" kind of flip out. But then something truly amazing happened...he grabbed the giant rock and threw it directly at the facade of his house. Which broke an enormous piece of...some part of the building (not an architect) off. These are really old houses...this was definitely not a cheap or easy thing to fix. He just stood there staring at what he'd done and then just started slamming the rock into the steps screaming f*ck until he sort of fell across the sidewalk backwards, and smacked his head into a parked car. The alarm went off and he went inside. About twenty minutes later the cops showed up. Two days later he was gone.

7. Absolute nightmare, "Onid8870."

When i lived in a high-rise there was a woman who rode the elevator on her scooter day and night and write down "violations" in a notebook. She would read this notebook at the condo board meetings. It was stuff like "2am-Unit 2203-Door to the unit is dirty; 5pm-Unit 605-I can hear the television through their door"

One day I came home after a happy hour slightly buzzed and feeling good. I get off the elevator and this woman on a scooter is driving right at me yelling something. I yelped and ran to my condo. Scared the sh*t out of me and nuked my buzz.

8. The plant thief! "VandWW."

My neighbour came into my back yard when she thought we (university students) had gone home for the summer. I still lived in the house. In fact, I was sitting by the window when she entered or back yard. I thought nothing of it - I chalked it up to her looking for her cat.

I went back to reading my book and completely forgot about her until I saw movement out of the corner of my eye some while later. She was walking out if my backyard with all our plants.

She stole our garden. I was so astounded that I just sat there and stared at her. I never even tried to stop her.

9. NEIGHBOR TIME! "BighouseJD."

My neighbor called the cops on us because our dogs were outside barking in the middle of the day. When the cop showed up we explained to him that our dogs only go outside during the day and for 10-15 minutes at a time tops. He tells us that it's not a problem and he thinks the neighbor has been drinking. Just then the neighbor stumbles by our house on the side walk wearing what looks like some kind of moomoo style pajama shirt and shouts "NEIGHBOR TIME!", as if she's about to rally the troops against our obvious tyranny. Our neighbor on the other side told us she was trying to get him to complain too. Problem is, he's lived next to us for 10+ years and has dogs too.

10. Practice makes perfect? "YourMakeUpHoe."

Neighbour loves waking up at 6AM, fighting a random mannequin in his backyard while shouting. It's painful, but we all deal with it

11. Oh boy, "m00tles."

Oh man, my time to shine. My neighbour is an unemployed hoarder who built a recording studio in his house, which looks like a shanty because instead of siding he uses plywood, old road and such as siding. He currently has people living in a camper in his backyard. He used to have yard sales everyday until we put and end to it. One time, I heard him yelling at his child's principal on the phone for a half hour because they won't teach his 12 year old how to play instruments. His logic was that kids should make music and he would teach for free, "like school of rock"

12. What! "banjohusky95."

My friend has a key to his neighbors house. When she goes to work, he goes in and watches her tv and uses her toilet, then leaves. He leaves everything else untouched. Other than this, the guy is a normal dude. He does it just because he can.

13. Long live Speedo John, "Samson-I-Am."

Speedo John, we called our crazy neighbor. The day we moved into this nice, typical suburban, family-oriented neighborhood, Speedo John greets us from his lawn in his leopard print Speedo which was hardly visible underneath his giant beer belly. There was a neighborhood pool that was usually crawling with suburban families + awkward Speedo John sporting his favorite swimwear. He lived alone, had long stringy hair despite the fact that he was balding, and would sit in his car in his driveway for hours at a time smoking cigars and blasting 80's rock (he had time to burn because he didn't have a job).

On more than one occasion, he asked us if we'd been in his house looking for drugs. He claimed that his ex wife had been trying to frame him for drug possession for years and would sometimes sneak into his house and plant drugs.

One weekday morning, we're getting our kids ready for school and hear someone banging on the front door. Speedo John is standing there looking as confused as a lost child and asks "what time is it?" We hesitantly answer, "John, it's 7:00." He looks around for a moment as if he's unsure of our answer and follows with this gem, "AM or PM?"

16 people share the biggest scandal at their high school that everybody talked about.

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When you're young, hormonal, and in high school, everything feels so incredibly dramatic. While oftentimes high school feels like a massive catastrophe, sometimes, that is actually the case.

People are sharing the stories of the one major "incident" in high school that everybody couldn't stop talking about, and the truth is stranger than Riverdale.

Well, almost.

1. The_Burushi went to school with Tom Sawyer?

We were all called to an emergency assembly and told a student had died... Her friends were distraught and even the people who didn't know her went quiet. I think I remember a group of students putting together a type of memorial card. The whole morning was morbid... Until the 'dead girl' arrived at school and didn't know what was going on.

2. tyler2114 is very Die Hard, emphasis on "hard."

Two kids got caught f*cking in the ceiling. Like they took panels off the ceiling, climbed into the small space there, and f*cked.

3. CanadianMiss's principal had a sting operation.

When I was in high school, our hick town school had a “gang” called the Cobras who would spray paint “Cobras” on school property, write it on desks, in the bathrooms, basically everywhere. It’s was dumb and many of the students had a good idea who was a part of this “gang” but the teachers didn’t.

The principal would call down groups for photos in the year book (siblings, sports teams, drama club, etc) on overhead announcements, and one day they called down the Cobras for a school photo for the yearbook, to try and figure out who they were. They caught almost half the students who were defacing school property because they showed up for the “group photo”.

4. jbird1423's yearbook was NSFW.

Senior year we received our yearbooks the week of graduation and to our surprise the full page action shot for men's soccer showcased our player jumping up and lifting one leg to trap and control the ball. Unfortunately, he forgot to wear underwear that game and the tip of his weiner was fully visible sticking out of the bottom of his shorts.

Our school had over 4,000 students and we were required to bring our yearbook in to security to have the d*ck Sharpied over or we would not be able to walk at graduation.

5. Mad_as_a_Lorry's principal was Dwight Schrute.

Principal found weed in the boys bathroom. Called an assembly and told us we had to vote for who we think it was. I think the principals son got like 98% of the votes. Suddenly the voting system wasn't valid.

We didn't even coordinate it, everyone had the same idea at once and it was glorious.

6. From itsallinthehips123:

We had a teacher who was super nice. She was out for 3 days and we didnt question it much until she wasnt there again for the next week.

Turns out her husband murdered her quite brutally. Was so quiet the next few months for that class we didnt really know how to process it.

He's in prison and [the] kids [are] with the grandparents last I read. Quite sad.

7. V-by-V's story is messy.

A guy went into the locker room during gym class and sh*t into another guy's backpack.

8. Soulessgingr's story is devastating.

At my high school, seniors had to do a senior project. Can be anything really. Just plan it out and follow through.

A very popular and well liked senior made an end of day announcement that tomorrow morning he'd be in the student parking lot working on it and needs as many other folks there as possible.

The next day he drives into the student parking lot, setup a tripod and a camera. A large crowd gathered round, just about 30 mins before the first bell. He hit record, thanks everyone for showing. Then he reached into his car pulled out a handgun and killed himself before anyone could react.

No one knows why. He was a great guy with a bright future. Never know what struggles others are going through. I think about it frequently and take that into consideration to try and be nice to others with random acts of kindness.

Read the news story here.

9. juliasaige's anecdote is begging for a "cream" pun.

Last year, in a middle school in my district, there was a baking contest. Some eighth grader put cum in a pastry and gave it to a teacher judge, she ate it and later ended up pressing charges.

10. Yikes, DIYsandvich.

This kid was doing pull ups on a door frame in our wood shop and some of his friends thought it would be funny to place a pipe bender under his a**. When he finished his pull ups and dropped off the frame, the pipe bender went straight up his butt and tore his rectum open. Kid didn't graduate cause he spent so much time in the ER and now he has to sh*t in a bag.

11. LimpLeg18's high school was lethal.

Every year somebody died.

Freshman: A senior drowned in a lake

Sophomore: Another guy drowned

Junior: A girl got ejected from her friends car

Senior: A girl got stabbed like 18 times with a gardening tool

12. How is Gemmabeta's story not a true crime podcast yet?

Some unknown guy killed a prof in his office and apparently hid out in the drywall space in the medical school building for a few days.

The police ended up having to clear out that building like it's a war zone and they never caught the killer. They think it was either

A. A crazy student

B. A bit of office politics that gone murderous as the professor was just about the get the plum gig in the department

C. An escape crazy person from the local mental hospital--which was for some reason on the grounds of the university right behind the physics building

D. some combination, thereof.

13. So is SkidsWithGuns's.

One of the students ditched highschool one day and rode his dirt bike really fast in front of the school popping a wheely while the school was still in session. He wiped out and slid and hit his head on a light pole and died right in front of the school across the street. Really sad and super crazy.

14. Stay clear of dead deer, two2blue2.

Somebody threw a dead deer into the quad. I think they only got in trouble because they broke some lights on the roof while doing it!

15. A classic, TriplePepperoni.

Undercover cop posing as a student for 6 months. Busted a variety of students dealing and transporting drugs

16. Eki75's classmate got the whole college experience.

My junior year, they took a group of us on a college visit. We had some time to explore the campus on our own. Two girls ended up at the frat house. When it was time to leave, they were nowhere to be found. They finally came to the bus about 45 minutes late, completely shitfaced drunk. They apparently had sex with at the frat house as well and one of them ended up pregnant from it. Family sued the school but settled out of court.


20 people who fish share the strangest things they've pulled out of the water.

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In theory, fishing is a supremely peaceful activity, it's just you, your fishing gear, and an open sea full of swimming critters. But in reality, the lakes and oceans of the world are polluted with bizarre garbage, secret keepsakes, and murder victims. While the dark underbelly of fishing waters can hamper plans of peacefully communing with nature, the creepy findings do make for fascinating stories.

In a popular Reddit thread, fishermen (and women) of Reddit shared the creepiest things they've reeled up, and it just emphasizes how much we need to clean up our waters.

1. Gillybilly found Santa at sea.

I was fishing with my Dad off the coast of Mallorca in Spain when I was about 15. It was really warm and we weren't catching anything much, so we got some snorkels and went for a swim around to see if we could see anything interesting, (it was only about 20 feet deep).

Around these cave-like rocks I spotted what looked like a dead body. I started trying to dive down, but I'm not a super strong swimmer so when I would get to about 10 feet away from it I would have to come back up for air.

Eventually my Dad gets to it and I was diving and watching and diving and watching, thinking f*ck f*ck f*ck f8ck.... And he was wriggling a rock trying to free it. It starts to float towards the surface and my Dad follows.

Right in front of my face a half melted slimy life size plastic Santa bobs out of the water. Weird thing is I'm not sure Spanish people even really have Santa as part of their Christmas decorations.

I'm glad I was in the sea because I'm pretty sure I peed my pants.

My Dad thought it was hilarious. He put melty-dead-guy-Santa in to the boat to show my mom. About a week later I woke up and it was in my bed.

2. thr0aty0gurt's friend's grandpa pulled a saber out of the water.

My buddy's grandfather pulled a confederate saber out of the James river in VA.

3. iHateThisJob999 found a bomb.

I caught an unexploded test bomb...here is the story.

We were fishing down in Southern Maryland and what is called the "Target Ships" in the Chesapeake Bay. The ships are old navy vessels that have been set on concrete pillars so they remain above water. The military uses them for radar testing and test bombing runs.

It was about 8 years ago, during the summer. We were all on my dad's Grady White fishing for croaker and flounder right near the ships. There was about 20 other boats in the area. The coast guard was patrolling the area, doing inspections on boats. Sure enough the coast guard pulls up to my dads boat. They are on a big vessel with about 15 trainees. The officer and a trainee get onto our boat and are performing the inspection with the help of my dad. Suddenly, my rod gets very heavy. The officer stops his inspection and says "Go ahead son, reel it up. Lets see what you got". So I reel and reel...and to ALL of our amazement...I caught an unexploded test bomb.

The best way I can describe what it looked like (I don't have a photo, I will explain why). It was a cylindrical diamond shape, with neon green stabilizers. About 12-14 inches long, maybe 4 inches in diameter at it's thickest part. Well now the officer, the trainee, and the entire boat of coast guards have just witnessed what I brought out of the water. The trainee on our boat leaps to his boat, and they haul a*s away with their sirens on. Leaving the officer on our boat. I am ordered to FREEZE, and not make a move. The coast guard gets on our VHF and tells all the boats in the area to leave the target ships. After about 20 minutes of me sitting here, with this bomb on my line, the area is finally cleared away. The Officer orders my father to put the boat in drive, achieve a good bit of speed, and don't stop.

So my dad does as he is ordered. Puts the boat in gear, and we are rolling about 15-20 knots away from the ship. The officer brings out a knife, cuts my line, and orders my dad to just throttle the boat and get away as fast as he can. Needless to say, it did NOT detonate when it hit the bottom of the bay. We took the officer, who was clearly shaken, back to his ship. I know it's hard to believe this story without proof, but we were unable to get a picture of it, we tried, but the coast guard officer was adamant about us getting the hell out of there as quick as possible.

TL;DR - Caught an unexploded testing bomb with a coast guard officer currently boarded on our boat.

Edit: Found a little article about the ships we were fishing at. http://www.navsource.org/archives/09/53/5312.htm

4. crundy was saved by the mysterious fisherman.

The first time I went fishing with my dad and brother, we were stood at the end of the pier looking like dolts not knowing what the fuck we were doing. A nice guy on the opposite end of the pier came over and gave us a hand setting up and gave us some tips on casting off etc and then left us to it.

After a while my brother realised he had a bite and reeled it in. He pulled up a really ugly looking fish and was about to grab it off the line when the guy who had been helping us previously shouted across "DON'T TOUCH THAT!!". He came over and explained to us that it was a Lesser Weever which has poisonous spines on it. He just cut the line and kicked it back alive before explaining about how you can't kill them in case they wash up on the beach.

So if that guy is reading this, thanks for saving us a trip to A&E!

5. EamusUrsi caught an immortal fish.

A few years back I went catfishing at a river not far from my house. I was dropping shad on an egg sinker a few feet deep when I got a very weak hit. I set the hook and started reeling in and whatever was on the other end was heavy, but not fighting...like at all. I saw the tail rise out of the water a few times, so I knew it was a fish, but the thing just laid there.

When I landed it I found out just how god d*mn tough catfish are. Some sh*tkicker had caught this fish before, cut off the filets and released it back into the river. This fish had been stripped of all muscle, but was fully healed, still swimming and even hunting. I took a rock and put it out of it's misery, but that poor fish was tough.

6. wailingMonkey caught a fish while it was engulfing another fish.

I guess it was more the experience that was weird, but I caught a small walleye and was actually lifting it out of the water when a HUGE northern pike jumped in out of the water and engulfed the walleye, before diving back into the lake. When we cut it open later, there was a pristine fully intact walleye sitting in its belly! Awesome experience...

7. chocolate_chimp returned a man's fishing license to him.

My brother and I were fishing in a lake last year and we pulled a hat with a fishing license on it out of the water. It was an out of state license but it had the guy's name and location. So we got on Facebook, messaged him and gave him his slimy drenched hat back.

8. K1llerRogue had a meta fishing experience.

I pulled a fishing rod, with a carp still attached to it out of the water. It was quite an experience.

9. Rick_Rambis's dad witnessed some fish anal play.

I was fishing with my dad and he reeled in a fish, except there was another fish right next to it. Seemed weird, and when he pulled his catch up onto the dock, the bonus fish landed on the dock too.

Well as we figured out, fish number 1 had taken someone's bait, but the the line must have broke off. He then proceeded to shit out the hook with some bait still on it, while a bunch of line was still lodged in his stomach. Fish #2 then decided to eat the bait trailing from fish #1's anus.

Must have just happened too or they both would have probably been dead. Also no one believes him when he tells the story.

TL:DR - dad caught a trout that was into a*s-play

Edit: definitely gonna have to show my pops this thread. He's a huge fisherman so he'll be stoked that so many people have heard one of his fish tales!

10. Sheriff_Twinkie's grandpa has impressive skills.

When I was a kid I went fishing with my grandpa, and while we were fishing he dropped a pole into the water and it quickly sank to the bottom. He says "I want my pole back" threw a line in and caught his fishing pole! 10 year old me was amazed. Sh*t, 22-year-old me is still amazed.

11. cephaloman once caught a bat.

Well, not out of the water. But a Bat. I was fly fishing at dusk and a bat got tangled in my backcast. Thankfully he did not hook himself and was able to crawl out of the tangle after hitting the ground.

12. CountryRoads8 has a few tales.

I once saw a bright orange hellbender (usually they are dark brown) walk by my feet. Hellbenders are just strange enough as it is.

Also I caught an oyster toadfish off a pier once and when I landed it there was a crowd around to look at it. The Latino guys behind me kept pointing at the fish and saying "el Diablo".

EDIT: Here is a pic I snapped of the Hellbender: http://imgur.com/RwjbC0B

13. daasianmang got faked out.

A rubber toy trout. I was so happy... and then I realized it was fake.

14. Logitechnicality found an ancient boot.

Mattice Lake, Ontario Was trolling for walleye, and no joke, snagged something. I brought it up, and it was a boot. Not just any boot, but an old boot. Like ancient. Wooden sole, leather, looked like it was from the civil war. I think that the near freezing spring lake preserved it. Keep in mind this is a lake that even today you cannot get to except by sea plane, so this thing was probably a pioneer's boot who fell into the water and drown.

15. Homeless_Prophet's cousin found a body.

My cousin left his line in the Ohio River over night with hopes of something latching on to the hook. He went down to check the line in the morning and a female human body had gotten tangled in his line near the bank.

I would have sh*t my pants.

16. Ugenia123's mom got a peak dude response.

We went fishing while on vacation and my moms fishing line got caught on someone else's and she yelled "Is anyone over there hung?" and all the guys on the other side of the boat with no hesitation said "YEP." Her face got immediately red.

17. whistledick found a new fishing spot.

A human skull. I stopped fishing in that lake.

18. jared1981 found a power drill.

Dragging for scallops yesterday, I found a Makita power drill.

19. IWantToFishIt and their friend have seen some things.

I was fishing a city park for bass, and I felt something weird on the line (often a fish moving in a direction you don't expect) so I set the hook and it was fish on. I fought that fish and it felt like it kept thrashing it's head and diving for the bottom. Was ready for a big fish and when I pulled it out of the water it was a lovingly-worn strap on dildo with the straps intact.

TLDR; caught a strap on dildo once.

Not my story but a friend of mine was fishing a lake for bass that often had Mexican migrants fishing and drinking around it as well. He thought he had snagged a log one day and was pulling it in to get his lure back. It wasn't a log, it was the body of a dead migrant and his jig was hooked into the flesh of his stomach where it had ripped a hole.

TLDR; friend caught a body.

20. TheNewandConfused found a whole folding chair.

I caught a fold up chair once when I was younger. I had my hook at the bottom on the lake cause I wanted some cat fish but I caught something heavy and pulled up a chair. And I was sure that there was a body that fell in with the chair. But no such luck

TL;DR a chair

21 married people share the 'elephant in the room' in their marriage that's never spoken about.

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The key to any healthy marriage is communication. But there are certain things that are better when not communicated about. These "elephants in the room" exist in every marriage or relationship. And although they can be harmful, i.e. a spouse's infidelity, they can also be a relatively harmless issue, personality trait, or event that both partners have an unsaid agreement to never discuss.

Someone asked married people of Reddit: "what is the harmless elephant in the room that won't affect your relationship but you never speak of?"

These 21 people shared the "elephants in the room" of their relationships that both members of the couple have chosen to never speak about.

Hopefully their partners aren't also on Reddit.

1.) From drjankowska:

He never finished his coffee, so there's always a half drunk coffee on the table. Sometimes a few if he hasn't put the mugs in the kitchen. I've asked him why, and he says it's because it gets cold too fast. Tried smaller coffees. Still does it.

2.) From p3dantic:

We're a Chinese family and my father is born in the Chinese zodiac year of the pig. After they were married, my mother started buying pig-themed things for the house. A pillowcase featuring a farm scene, a mug in the shape of a pig, pig figurines, etc.

My father thought my mother liked pigs because she kept buying pig-themed things, so he started buying pig-themed things for the house, too.

10 years later, with the house filled in pig-themed things, they have a conversation and realize that neither of them really were into pigs and they were just buying them for the other person.

Now guests who come over see pigs all over the place and think my parents collect them and they buy more pig-themed things as gifts for birthdays, anniversaries, etc.

3.) From plcwork:

My wife uses all the dishes when she cooks. I don't even know how that's possible. I'm grateful for the meal but salty that whoever doesn't cook does the dishes

4.) From Seaflapflap1:

I give a 10 min and 5 min warning before I put dinner on the table. Yet, the minute I say dinner is ready, he has to poop. Every single day. I'm learning to tell him dinner is ready at the 5 minute mark so that he is ready when dinner is.

5.) From darkness__incarnate:

That he talks constantly about any movie or show we're watching.

"Who's that?" "What's happening?" "Are they gonna die?" "Is that the bad guy?"

I DON'T KNOW MAYBE IF YOU STFU AND WATCHED THE MOVIE YOU WOULD FIND OUT

Pisses me off so much, but really harmless in the grand scheme of our relationship.

6.) From rabbit_killer82:

There is a small red colored magnet hidden somewhere in the house. When it's found it has to be moved to another hiding place. We've been doing this for 15 years now but never talk about it.

7.) From turtlenipples:

On multiple occasions in our dozen years of marriage, my wife has talked to my farts. As in, I fart and from across the house I hear "what was that honey?"

It's little things like this that I wake up for every morning.

8.) From Cake_Bear:

I travel for work, and bring back a stuffed animal for her. I did this for years, and then found out that she refuses to donate/throw away anything "with a face". We have GOBS of stuffed animals from my trips all over the place.

Did I stop getting her stuffed animals after I learned? Of course not.

So the elephant in the room is probably from my Arizona trip.

9.) From The_Young_Celt:

My wife is the absolute worst story teller ever. She is so smart and funny, but my goodness, her stories go on forever. She takes a story that should take 2 minutes to tell and turns it into a 25 minute story with EVERY SINGLE DETAIL that actually happened.

10.) From Hybridmomentsx:

Every time we are driving by an outdoor mall or anywhere with a lot of store fronts, he will read every. Single. Store. Out. Loud. Every time.

11.) From duckyblinders:

Neither of us puts up laundry. It's supposed to be one washes the other puts it away but neither of us do it. All our clothes just sit in baskets 99% of the time. It irks us both but we're both guilty so we keep our mouths shut.

12.) From meowmeowlincoln:

I'm disabled and have a lot of trouble lifting stuff because of my shoulder. I can do it, but it's painful and I can injure myself pretty easily. We have a tiny bathroom and can only hang our towels over the shower rod... I can take the towels down easily since I can just pull them from the bottom. However, I can never hang them back up because I can't lift my shoulder over my head very well, so I always leave them on the toilet seat. By the end of the day they're always hung up again. There's a lot of stuff he does like this that makes my life easier, but he never brings it up or complains. I'm seriously the luckiest woman alive.

13.) From Watty13:

Well there is this bag of luggage at the bottom of the stairs that she left there when we got back from holiday last week...

14.) From d00d3r1n022:

My wife doesnt screw the top back on the bottle of..... anything. Everything with a lid is a potential bomb.

15.) From FlyingChange:

She never puts the f*cking cap back on the toothpaste.

16.) From Horrorllama:

When my husband takes off his socks he leaves them balled up and in the hamper they go. If they are missed when getting put in the wash and then dried they stay wet and it makes me irrationally angry. I said some thing early in our relationship a few times and 9 years later the socks are still balled up.

17.) From FunkamoidFlex:

My wife has an eye disorder that makes all cat puke completely invisible, regardless of its size or location in the room. It will sit there until I pick it up. And then when I pick it up she says, "oh I didn't see that!"

18.) From iateallthereeses:

He leaves any and all doors/drawers open after getting what he needs out of them. Kitchen cabinets, the dishwasher, the microwave, bathroom vanity, closets, dressers, night stands.. I can always tell whether or not he's home when I walk through the front door. It will look like our kitchen is about to be ransacked.

I've called him out on it like twice - when I first noticed it was a trend and a time after that - and he was genuinely surprised. He was like, "you're fucking with me, you opened some of those." Nope. 7 kitchen cabinets and drawers apparently had to be opened for you to make your snack - all you, babe. He sincerely apologized, but here we are 4 years later and I still just follow him around closing cabinets and drawers after he leaves the room. It's too comical to fight over, and it really doesn't even bother me terribly, so I just don't bring it up. 🤷🏻‍♀️

19.) From jaqrabbitslim:

My wife eats pizza starting on the crust end first.

20.) From Dravous:

Well, it was a long time ago so it doesn't matter now, but the time I farted in front of her whole family while we were all crowded around a small table looking at something. It was a bad one. One of those ones that's hot coming out. Nobody flinched, left the table, or ever said a word about it.

21.) From HellOnHighHeels94:

We're not married but he leaves nearly everything he owns in his pockets when he puts his shorts/jeans in the washing machine

22.) ​​​​​​​From fruitjerky:

Every time he puts on a new toilet paper roll, he does it upside down. I flip it over every time. Sixteen years and counting.

23.) From kittensbjj:

Her - leaves half finished glasses of water everywhere. Also, puts a glass of water next to the bed despite knocking it over at least twice a week.

Me - human perfection, no flaws.

24.) From melspockets:

We have a trinket (small glass monkey) that started out as me putting it on his study desk in secret, to which he would then put it back on mine. Now it has escalated to being hidden in each other's stuff all around the house (underwear drawer, shoes and luggage). We have never spoken about it.

25.) ​​​​​​​From mccarthybergeron:

Farts... We've just chose to ignore and never speak of it.

20 people share stories of how they screwed up Valentine's Day.

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Valentines Day is nothing if not a day full of feelings. For some, the day marked by corporate symbols of love only reminds them of their own loneliness or desire for partnership. For others, it's a chance to celebrate with someone they love, or in grim cases - reevaluate a toxic relationship.

While conceptually, buying roses and chocolates or going out for dinner isn't that complicated, there are a million ways a Valentines date can go wrong.

In a Reddit thread posted on February 15th, 2019, people shared the ways they messed up Valentines Day, and it'll make you feel infinitely better about however yours pans out this year.

1. decafff accidentally gave their girlfriend death flowers.

On my way to see my girlfriend, I stopped off to get a rose, as per tradition. When I was paying I found out I could buy two for the same price so I thought hey why not!

Turns out in the country she is from, presenting someone with double roses is apparently something only done at funerals, so instead of a traditional romantic gesture I’d actually given her some death flowers...oops...luckily she saw the funny side after a few quizzical looks.

2. badnboo_gee was shaded at CVS.

Went to CVS at 8:30pm and paid. Upon scanning my cherry sours, eyeliner, hair dye, and tampons...the cashier commented (with exuberance) "Looks like you're all ready for a romantic night!"

I mean... I laughed pretty hard, but still though.

3. SexyStalkerSociopath helped save a guy's Valentines Day.

I work as a cashier for a grocery store. Yesterday I had a guy come through my checkout lane and he literally asked me (in all seriousness) when Valentine's Day was. I told him it was today, and he said he had previously thought it was next week. He proceeded to buy flowers and a card and I didn't make fun of him. After all, that'd be unprofessional. But it was kind of funny looking back.

4. abunchofsquirrels made a dinner too delicious for sex.

I made a big, delicious, romantic dinner, but then afterwards my SO didn't want to have sex because she felt bloated and gross.

5. Pentaxk1000 had a group situation with the fire department.

Her fire alarm is linked to the fire dept. set the alarm off while searing scallops. 5 firemen, one wielding an axe, interrupted dinner. Embarrassment and laughter ensued.

6. CreativeRedditNames accidentally got too sauced.

I took a bath and was all done up in some fancy new lingerie. My hair and makeup was f*cking pristine. I had been casually drinking for the better part of an hour and started on dinner. Dinner was taking longer than expected, so naturally I drank to pass the time.

Gave my SO his plate, we excitedly tucked in because we were totally going to have dirty kinky sex afterwards.

Then all of the alcohol seemed to hit my system at once and I projectile vomited for a few hours before passing out.

7. fauxxfoxx waylaid the reservations, but still had a good night.

Boyfriend made reservations at a nice steak place over a month in advance. Work this week has been kicking my ass, so we leave work early to change and recharge before going to dinner. Except I fall asleep, and wake up 15 minutes before our reservation. He says he just couldn't wake me up, since he saw how tired I was. So we order Chinese and had sex. Kinda worth the f*ck up, to be honest!

8. Pimpdaddypepperjack only had flowers for some of the women.

I'm a bouncer an usually start working a 9, I decided I would buy flowers for all the girls who work. Well I didn't read my schedule right and had to come in at 5 well before they made cuts and didn't have enough flowers for all the girls. I could feel the resentment from the girls who didn't get 1 throughout the night.

9. ghetto_man's wife suffered unnecessary embarrassment.

Me and the wife ordered a Lelo couples vibrator it came in the mail on Valentines Day. I asked her to stop and get batteries and lube from the store. She did and the store was crowded and she was nervous being a lady buying lube and batteries on Valentines Day. She saw old friend of ours and they where like really. In the end the box had batteries and a little lube. Wife was not happy about that.

10. Trumpianist got in a car accident with their partner.

More like got f*cked up for us. My bf and I were driving back home from the movies when a speeding car hit us. Everyone was okay.

11. TakingItOffHereBoss had to put their dog down.

I guess it wasn't really that we "f*cked up", but just terrible timing that our pup (almost 15 years old) took a turn for the worse and had to be put down yesterday. We were heart-broken.

12. IhateStupidPeopleRar had to roll into work during their date.

Deployed code to production without QA'ing it first. It worked fine for about 5 hours and then 5 minutes after we set down to dinner, phone blows up and have to go into the office for a few hours.

13. jewishpinoy burnt the lamb.

Made Lamb chops for the Ms and burnt it. Sh*t was as hard as a rock.

We put a frozen pizza in the oven afterward.

14. mrgojirasan accidentally made it awkward.

I was on my period so I didn't groom like I had planned to. I felt bad so I told my SO not to do anything, but then I saw a Netflix gift card while I was out and thought it was a nice thoughtful gift. My impulse buy made my SO feel awkward because he followed my order to not get me anything, making him look bad when I showed up with a gift.

We talked it out and I made sure he knew I didn't mean to make him look bad and now we are happy again.

15. GranolaBarSupervisor's girlfriend's sister made it weird.

I bought and gave her a promise ring, she got me some cookies (which was fine), then we spend 2 hours of our 3.5 together cleaning the kitchen so her sister wouldn't throw a fit-- they're roommates.

16. SoulfireSong needed surgery.

I ruined valentines day by being in hospital for emergency surgery. My boyfriend was supportive, but could only visit near the end of visiting hours. We will do something together when I've recovered in about a month.

17. ReadsEntireThreads had a real whirlwind Valentines Day.

Oh boy, I think I've got a good one.

I've begun to loathe Valentine's Day these last few years. My SO, who usually expects me to do everything for Valentine's Day, surprised me this year with tickets to a sports game a few weeks before V-day that I had really wanted to see. I got upset near the end when she brought up how my Valentine's Day plan would probably be some sort of boring dinner, chocolate, and flowers and planned last minute.

I had already been planning to take her on a nighttime cruise and then brunch the weekend after V-day. We ended up fighting since I told her I wanted to cancel those plans since she seems to never give me credit for the time I put into doing this stuff just for her. We make up the day of Valentine's Day, but were both so exhausted by the afternoon that we passed out and woke up a half hour before boarding began for the cruise, and we had to rush to get ready. I took a while and we barely made it in time...to the wrong location. Once we ubered to the right location, the cruise had left.

She was furious. Would barely talk to me the rest of the night. Eventually she brought up how stupid she would look to her friends who she had told about the cruise. I had gotten us a nice bottle of wine so we had a glass of that and she fell asleep.

We still have brunch planned for the weekend but god I fucking hate Valentine's Day.

18. Sep88 friendzoned themself with feelings.

Made and gave a homemade card to someone I’ve been very casually, basically FWBing, to show id be open to a little emotion and she said maybe we should just be “just friends” so I ruined a damn fine casual gig trying to be a guy who has emotions.

19. makenziiko's neighbor has been on a losing streak.

Not me but the dude who lives in the apartment above me must've really fucked up. I can hear him and his girlfriend arguing at least once a week, and they can get pretty damn screamy. Ironically enough my own boyfriend had just called me for some over the phone sexy times (we're long distance) when I hear "IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY! AND YOU DIDN'T GET ME ANYTHING! THIS IS THE SECOND YEAR IN A ROW. I WANTED TO WAKE UP TO FLOWERS OR CHOCOLATE OR A CUTE TEXT OR ANYTHING BUT I GOT NOTHING! IF YOU CAN'T GO TO WALGREENS AND JUST GET ME A $3 CARD, SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU!" Usually the guy has some rebuttal to scream back at her but I hardly heard a peep out of him.

20. RamenTaco's dog really went for it.

My dog blasted diarrhea next to our(me and my SO's) bed.

21 people share the most memorable things that teachers ever said to them.

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People are sharing the things they were told by teachers that will stick with them forever—for better or for worse.

If you're a teacher, you might want to write some of these down. If you're a comedian who does roast battles, you might want to write some of these down, too.

1. realultralord with the burn:

Some smarta** classmate asked our math teacher: "What's the point in this whole stuff anyway? I can't think of a situation where I am using this shit."

He answered: "Honestly, you probably won't use it ever again. But some of the smart kids might."

2. Hopefully Dr. nayersman got good grades.

"What do they call someone who graduated vet school with a 2.0 GPA? Doctor."
My first-term anatomy professor telling us to stop fretting so much about the grades and worry about the knowledge.

3. Take it easy, Navaro27.

I had a home room teacher, that out of frustration one day, ranted about how easy school was.

He said, "We literally give you a book or the text, tell you to read it, then ask you to answer questions. The answers to which are found in the book we gave you. It doesn't get any easier than that. Read the damn books, answer the damn questions, that's all school is"

4. School advice, or marriage advice, jamin_2194?

There's no benefit to being right if you can't make people listen to the answer.

5. bluegoddess13 is free.

“Once you’re an adult, you choose your own fate. Your mom won’t control you anymore.”

This came from a 9th grade Algebra 1 teacher who took the time to tutor me. My mom was/is a antivaxxing, cult following nut bag who didn’t think school was important because Armageddon is coming. I was terrible at math until I met him.

It’s been 25 years and I think of this teacher still, I am grateful. Don’t talk to mom anymore, she got tired of me asking where Armageddon was...

6. Cat_mommie got the best revenge.

My art teacher told me I couldn't draw. Fast forward 15 years and I've graduated university with a fine art degree and have my own small illustration business as a side gig. It's not a huge thing, but I've had over 150 sales now and have like, actual fans! So, screw you Miss H!

7. Notmyrealname knows that teacher jokes are next-level dad jokes.

I'm [Facebook] friends with several of my old teachers. I once wrote about how I had the recurring nightmare of being in my chemistry teacher's class and having to take an exam but not having studied for it.

He replied saying that his recurring nightmare is my being in his class.

8. SilentSamamander learned the golden rule.

I had a maths teacher who was an older woman, really strict and nobody particularly liked her. We mocked her way of speaking and were generally mean teenage assholes.

Once, when I was around 15, I hadn't finished my homework so I dropped my book in a puddle and showed it to her in class to say I'd lost the homework so couldn't hand it in. She questioned me a bit on how it had happened, then asked me to stay after class. The whole lesson I was sh*tting myself, expecting to be absolutely bollocked once everyone else had gone, so when the bell rang I sheepishly went up and sat at her desk after everyone had left.

To my surprise, she didn't shout at me but gently asked if I was being bullied and somebody had taken my workbook and ruined it on purpose. I was a little skinny kid with glasses and braces, so I can see why she would have thought that, but in that moment I suddenly saw her as a human being with feelings and empathy and not just a teacher. I felt like sh*t for the way I had treated her, and for lying about what had happened. I never admitted it to her - just reassured her that I was fine - but it did stick with me and I was much less of a d*ck to teachers after that.

9. And then RayFisch28 never stood in line ever again.

In my senior year we had a dinner at school. There was a very long queue for the desserts, so I went and asked a history teacher where it started, because I couldn't find it (it was pretty chaotic)

The teacher proceeded to put an arm around me, walk me to the desserts table, and say "Ray my boy, F*ck the queue."

10. sinabey English teacher was very wise.

"I know what it is to be young but you don't know what it is to be old"

I don't know why and how it came up, but our English teacher asked me if I understand that. It was the first year and I was 10, and I definitely did not understand. But it somehow stuck in my mind as the sound of the sentence, until I could decipher the memory in retrospect.

11. Chop chop, GreedoIX.

“Just get a fucking haircut” I kept complaining during PE that my hair was in my face. This was one of those teachers that felt more like one of the boys than the teacher. Blew my mind hearing him swear.

12. pmperry68 passed class and blunts.

After being caught smoking pot in high school (1986). My Science teacher (Hi Mr. Fischbein) said to me: "there is a time and place for everything, this is not the time, nor the place". He did not report me to administration. He was a great teacher.

13. Misery loves company, seanmashitoshi.

"Teachers like marking your homework as much as you like doing homework"

14. Game on, AlarmingNectarine.

First day off science class: “Many of the topics I will be teaching you this year will likely be proven false throughout your life”

15. Laziness is close to godliness, symes.

A good mathematician is a lazy mathematician. As the lazier they are the more time and effort they put into finding the easiest solution.

16. From HockeyHarvey:

I took Latin all four years of high school. I quickly realized I despised the language, but I stuck with it for the teacher himself. He alone was worth it.

Our Latin class was right above the hallway with classrooms for special needs kids. One day, after it was apparent nobody did their homework, my teacher stopped class and said, “you’re all taking what you have for granted, and it’s inexcusable. There are several dozen kids in the hallway below you who wish they had the mental facilities to do homework.”

I did my Latin homework regularly after he said that.

17. danial_farooq's teacher was a roast comic.

(Biology teacher, pointing at student)

"Ugly bag of protein, full of water!"

18. CaptainBlackhill's resonates...in a sad way.

"You're going to succeed in life and do extraordinary things." I have not succeeded not done anything extraordinary other than live when I didn't want to.

I feel like kids in the advanced programs got put on such high pedestals when we were kids that once we got to college and in the real world we were in shock with how f*cked we were.

19. From Sith503:

"You have an accent, your skin is brown, your whole life will be filled with people who will assume this means you are not as smart or as good as they are at literally anything. That's why I push you. That's why I demand more from you. You have to work harder now so you can prove them all wrong for the rest of your life."

Ms. Johnson 9th grade English teacher.

20. TommyLund had a woke bible tacher.

In religion class.

“Read the bible as a history lesson and not as dogma”

Actually made me interested in the bible.

21. From LadyGuillotine:

“Killing yourself is a selfish act. There are people you haven’t met yet who need you.”

She was my 5th grade teacher, Mrs. Stone, and I swear to god she saved my life without knowing it.

23 Valentine's Day Memes That Will Only Be Funny If You're Single.

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"I'm single because I was born that way."

-Mae West

Single people rejoice. You don't have to deal with Valentine's Day at all. Forget shelling out your hard-earned cash on expensive gifts and overcrowded restaurants. You can celebrate loving yourself with half-off candy on February 15th like the badass that you are. Single people everywhere will fall in love with these hilarious Valentine's Day memes.

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