Valentine's Day is a very special holiday for CVS, greeting card companies and Big Chocolate™. But it's a pretty tough holiday for everyone else. If you're in a relationship, chances are high that you will be either disappointed or in big trouble. If you're not in a relationship, you can't leave your house because the streets are full of couples pretending to be happy. And if you're a waiter, you're definitely not getting the night off. The holiday is a blood bath. And no one knows this more than people who work in the service industry, where much of the Valentine's Day drama goes down.

Someone asked waiters of Reddit: "what Valentine day disasters have you witnessed?" These 25 servers spilled the hot, hot, messy tea:

1.) From Theholynun:

I saw a couple have a full blown argument in the middle of the restaurant. The woman stood up, took her ring off, threw it at him and walked out. The man continued his meal, had dessert and then paid the bill, left a pretty big tip for the inconvenience and left!

2.) From lacroixisbad:

It wasn’t disastrous for the couple as much as it was the restaurant. I used to work at a small southeastern franchise restaurant, it wasn’t anything you could mistake for upscale. We had someone call in and ask if we could fry the ring he was planning to propose with in a hush puppy. Extremely weird request, but we said sure.

They come in to eat with their families, she gets her order of hush puppies, doesn’t choke on the ring and seems excited enough. Stayed at the table for about two hours total and chatted.

They dined and dashed.

3.) From ryanzbt:

not really a disaster but this guy came in and said he was waiting for his date, he stayed for 5 hours waiting and she never showed, he eventually ordered for for himself and asked that I remove the other glass of water from the table, he said it was their first date

4.) From mickyo25:

I got dumped on valentines day last year (I am a waiter)

5.) From banville750:

Not a TOTAL disaster, but still not good.

Had a table of two people, probably in their mid 40s last year. Took 45 minutes for this couple to get their entrees due to our kitchen being way too slammed. When they were dropped at the table, they immediately asked for to-go boxes because they told their babysitter they’d be home by a certain time. I overheard the wife say “well I guess this is why we don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day”. The worst part was that they weren’t angry, just... very sad.

My personal feelings about dining out on Valentine’s Day aside, I felt so horrible that this couple clearly had put in an effort to have a nice night with each other only to have it go that way. (We comp’d their meals, btw).

6.) From kaylikesalatte:

Was a server at a popular seafood chain that isn’t very fancy- but when you live in a town like the one I worked in, that sort of place is the nicest place to go for Valentines Day. Well, the night was incredibly busy when a couple came in. They were upset after waiting 45 minutes for a table, and they were complaining quite a lot. The woman was decked out in a super nice dress and faux coat that was actually very realistic. Well, she was sat and served her frozen drink. She goes to lift the glass to her mouth, and inexplicably, the bottom of the cup simply breaks and the drink is spilled ALL OVER her dress and nice coat. Was unfortunate.

7.) From epiultra:

Someone showing up for a date and you both realize about 30 minutes in she ain’t coming. “Drinks on me buddy”.

8.) From notyourcoloringbook:

Eh... I was the disaster. I was a new server. And horrible. I dumped an entire tray on the floor.

My bad.

9.) From limegreenbunny:

I was a waitress many moons ago, and two couples spring to mind. The first were an older couple who were dressed nicely. They were polite and cordial to me, but not overly enthusiastic or friendly. They were at the table for a little over an hour and a half, and we didn’t see them say one word to each other during that time. Every time I went over to their table, the atmosphere felt like I’d walked straight into an argument, but they weren’t speaking, or looking at each other or anything. It very quickly became awkward as fuck.

The second couple was meant to be having a proposal dinner. The guy had rung to book a table, and had let us know he was going to propose during dessert. He’d given the ring to kitchen staff so we could bring it out with a cake, and he’d got some balloons and streamers too. Anyway, he walks in a couple of steps behind his partner - everyone has big grins for them both - but he grits his teeth and shakes his head, surreptitiously dragging his finger across his throat pantomime style. Great. Oh, and lucky me, they’re seated in my section. It’s obvious she was bloody furious with him about something; she spends the first half of the meal seething quietly, and the second having a constant pop at him. While she was in the loo, the manager made me double check he didn’t want us to bring the ring out or anything. “Fuck, no!” was his response. I felt really bad for him, she really was mean!

10.) From rjwyonch:

It was like a movie. I was bartending at an italian restaurant (not a fancy one, but still) and it's pretty much full of valentines dates. A guy walks in and sits at the bar by himself, looking pretty down. He asked for a whiskey, so I poured it, told him it was on the house because he looked like he needed it. He proceeds to tell me his story:

he had come to the city to surprise his girlfriend for Valentines (about a 5 hr bus trip between cities) and he sure surprised her. She was in her dorm room fucking one of his friends from high school. He didn't know what to do, so he just walked into the first place that sold alcohol. I spilled as much whiskey as he wanted and watched the raptors with him. Never saw him again.

It's cliche, but it happened.

11.) From teke367:

Nothing too scandalous, but I'd say "Happy Valentine's Day" pretty much to any couple that sat at my tables, occasionally one of them would say something like "we're not dating". Some of the times, the other person would give a look that pretty much confirmed that they both had very different interpretations of what was going on.

There's an episode of 30 Rock where they mention that "going to IKEA" is a big stress test in relationships. That has nothing on going to a restaurant on the busiest days of the year, particularly Mother's Day, and Valentine's (especially when it's on a weekend). I'd say 99% of the "disasters" I've seen have just been normal run of the mill issues where couples realize they have different levels of patience, and one person undoubtedly gets aggravated with the packed restaurant, and their time is ruined.

12.) From jimmyjohnjohnjohn:

Two failed marriage proposals on the same Valentine's Day.

The first one simply said "no I can't do this," and walked out.

The second one stared like a deer frozen in the headlights for an excruciating 30 seconds before muttering "let's talk about this later." They stayed for the rest of their 6-course V-day special dinner, eating and making painful small talk.

13.) From PM_Me_UrRightNipple:

Couples who are close to the spring breakup trying to save everything on one meaningless holiday dinner. You see at least one every year

14.) From tararanz:

I got the “I made a reservation last week!” Schpeel which ended up making him look bad when I responded with “we’ve been booked for 3 months”

15.) From jetmax25:

I worked at a sports bar

Every couple there on valentines day was a divorce waiting to happen

16.) From PackersFan8712:

Saw a couple have a full blown argument in the middle of a restaurant. I wasn’t their server but the table was directly in the center of the restaurant and they were certainly loud enough for everyone to hear. My manager kindly asked them to leave and the Mans response was to yell “I’ve been wanting to do that shit for 2 years now” and stormed out

17.) From -eDgAR-:

Worked at this Japanese restaurant and had one guy comes and orders a bunch of sushi to go, says he's going to surprise his girlfriend. He comes back like 30 minutes later and asks us if he could return some of the sushi. Apparently his girlfriend has a seafood allergy and couldn't eat anything he ordered and she was mad he spent so much money, so she made him come and try to get some of it back. Obviously we couldn't really give him a refund on the food, but we made him a chicken hibachi on the house so he could have something to take back to her because we felt bad for the guy.

18.) From me-gusta-la-tortuga:

A nice lady brought her kid in for dinner. Got seated at a table next to her husband and his mistress.

19.) From yaaasss_INDEED:

Just being a waiter on this day is a disaster. It’s amateur hour: people who don’t normally go out come out. Not only will you get rude, clueless guests... very good chance you get stiffed for the majority of the evening.

20.) From geckosandwine:

I set my hair on fire and spilled a full Stella on a lady. I work in a causal fine dinning steak house. Luckily for me, the lady I spilled the Stella on was super understanding and her husband said from across the table “well now she has to take her pants off”. Sooo that could have gone worse for me.

21.) ​​​​​​​From Janaruns:

I weighted tables at a mexican restaurant while I was in college. A couple sitting at a table not in my section, the guy gets down on one knee and proposes with an unopened black box. The girl said "can I see the ring first" he opened the box and she hesitated and then said "ok". A couple I was waiting on could not stop talking about it. They were both mortified for the guy. Then we all kind of wondered if they would actually get married or how long the marriage would last.

22.) From Vesploogie:

Happened to my poor co-worker;

A guy and his date came in for Valentines Day. They had a great time, ate a lot of food, drank a lot of wine, and got along really well with my co-worker who was their server.

About two months later they come back in and request my co-worker again, who happily says yes to serving them. He goes up and greets them, the guy introduces his wife to him, and my co-worker mentions something about how much he enjoyed serving them on Valentines Day. They go quiet. Wife gets up and leaves, guy just lowers his head.

Turns out he had brought his mistress in on Valentines Day, but my co-worker didn’t realize he was with a different women this time around so didn’t think anything of it. We never saw the guy again.

23.) ​​​​​​​From ShitMoneyAndTheWord:

Soho, NYC, V Day 2009. Mid service, guy in a cheesy jacket comes in with a full mariachi band, takes a knee in the middle of the restaurant, and proposes to one of the servers with a ring..the entire restaurant is watching, staff and guests alike. She instantly says no, mortified, and leaves the floor sobbing. The band continues to play while he half-hearted pursues her, but is stopped by the manager as he tries to enter the kitchen after her. He exits shamefully while the band plays him off. Band sticks around for beers at the bar.

Turns out he was her ex, they hadn't spoken in over a year and this was his attempt to win her back. We got drinks and laughed about it after service, and she banged the bartender later.

"If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane."

- Jimmy Buffett

Laughter is so important. We literally need to laugh just to cope with everything life flings our way. These memes will bring joy to your morning, even if you're absolutely NOT a morning person.

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Before Snapchat nudes, romantic TikTok videos, making your relationship "official" on Facebook and tagging your significant other in a memory montage on Instagram, people exchanged conversation hearts for Valentine's Day.

Conversation hearts are those pastel heart-shaped candies that say something cute, but then you eat them and you immediately regret it. Unfortunately for the spirit of Valentine's day, candy hearts are becoming a thing of the past. The company that made conversation hearts (Necco) filed for bankruptcy in 2018 and while a limited number of hearts were made for Valentine's Day 2020 by the company who took over (Spangler) some will be made without the conversation. No! The conversation is the majority of the fun! "Thanks so much for the bag of hard, sugar chalk hearts without a cute message, babe...I love it..."

Before we forget about candy hearts forever, though, here are some of the funniest responses to the trending hashtag #IfGrandmaWroteCandyHearts on Twitter. Let's just say grandma definitely wouldn't include the "text me" heart.

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With all due respect to Saint Valentine, this so-called "Valentine's Day" thing is a nightmare, especially when you're in school. The Valentinss give you papercuts, and the unrequited crushes break your heart.

People shared stories of students' romantic gestures gone awry, and teachers have a front row seat to the drama. Lots of love hearts and love triangles.

1. olderthanishouldbe's students really go for it.

Two very quick ones.

Boy liked a girl, wrote in huge letters on the chalkboard "I love you Tammy. Love, Charlie" when the class saw it Tammy ran out in tears, Charlie was thenceforth declared gay for loving a girl. Because that's how that works.

Boy sent teacher a d*ck pic with "give it a kiss mrs h ???" written on it. He's now at another school.

2. Still a happier ending than Romeo and Juliet, Euthimo2k.

Back in middle school one of my classmates actually tried to sing in front of his crush's house to make her come out and tell her he loved her. Romeo boy ended up at the wrong house.

3. She learned quickly, nuhraini1792.

I was teaching a class of second- and third-graders some years ago and one of my little boys sent a note to a little girl in his class with 'I love you' scrawled on it, covered with hearts and smiley faces.

Her response? 'You are stupid'.

I had to leave the room to cry my eyes out laughing in the corridor.

4. A "fine" story, unauthorisedCat.

A classmate had a big crush on my friend and it was VERY obvious. Every time he tried to make a move she would try to avoid him, but he would keep trying. On Valentine’s Day, he came to school with chocolates and small flowers. My friend out to lunch that day. Then, at the end of the day, he approached her and tried to give her the flowers and chocolates. She just stared at him and said “I’m fine” and ran away. He tried to chase after her but she is on the track team and eventually got away. This happened this year.

5. That's harsh, iamjetes.

This happened to me in 7th grade. I really liked this girl. And when I say I liked her, I mean I REALLY liked her. Valentine’s day was coming up and I thought it’d be my chance to finally make a move. I asked my mom the night before Valentine’s to buy Hershey kisses for me to give to “my friends.” Of course the Hershey’s weren’t actually for my friends but for her (her name is Ridley). So I stayed up late on a school night making a jar with hearts on it with a whole bag of Hershey’s in it. Valentine’s came and I was thinking about giving it to her all day because I only saw Ridley last period in theater class. That part is very important. So last period came, we were in Mrs. Sharp’s theater class. Mrs. Sharp told us to get in groups for a quick valentine’s scene we’d perform in front of the class. As I got into a group, with Ridley of course, we were discussing who would be the couple. One kid yells, knowing that I had a HUGE crush on her, “You and Ridley should be the couple!!!” Then I get super red and Ridley yells, “EWWWW. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS WANT US TOGETHER?” and I got sooo heartbroken in that moment. We ran out of time and we didn’t even perform our scene. Before the bell rang, I gave the jar to my friend taylor and Ridley asks, “is that for him?” And I said yeah, of course. And he shares it with her. He shared the Hershey’s that were meant for her originally, but I actually gave to Taylor because I am a complete loser. Let’s just say that pornhub premium was free that night.

6. Morning-gloria with a ~fire~ story.

Not a teacher but a kid in my dorm made a floral arch with candles under it to ask a girl to be his girlfriend. The whole thing caught fire and the RA found out. RA was pretty sympathetic though, so he wasn’t kicked out and was only punished with 8 hours of mandatory fire safety classes instead.

7. RyanReids taught a surprise polyamorist.

Former 9th grade science teacher here:

The class bookworm finally got the guts to talk to the sweet, quiet girl that shared his class schedule. He approached her before classes started one day with a heart-shaped box of chocolates and a rose. He presented his gifts to her and asked if she'd like to sit next to him every period. She was immediately flattered and blushed. For the rest of the day, the two could be seen holding hands down the hall, sharing sweet gestures, and just smiling at each other in general. I had trouble keeping their attention on the lesson. Even as classes ended, that rose never left her hand. All-in-all, seemed cute... until the next day.

Just before classes started, a fight broke out in the hall. Turns out, bookworm and three other boys (including a senior) were getting into it because sweet, quiet girl told each of them separately that they were her boyfriend. Not sure what punishment, if any,was brought down on the four boys, but the principal thought it was rediculous and tried to make the whole incident forgotten.

Last I saw, the girl would only be seen hanging with the senior boy after that.

8. Nothing says romance like post-apocalyptic child murder movies, tyuwec.

He gave a girl an entire set of The Hunger Games movies and she got really weirded out by him after that.

9. Love hurts, Floof36.

Once on Valentine's Day a boy in my class gave a girl chocolates and roses. she was very grateful and began to share all the hazelnut chocolates, then she realized that they were not hazelnut but pistachio which she had a severe allergy to. still, they were good chocolates.

10. Quite the daredevil, Mr-Steal-ya-memes.

My dad works at a high school and this one kid a couple years back decided that to ask his crush out he would climb on the roof and write “[Name] will you go out with me” on the sunroof windows... she said no.

11. Don't set the bar too high, Saved0.

This didn't fail terribly, but it was a rookie mistake. During my second year of teaching, I had a junior decide he wanted to buy his relatively new girlfriend (3 months, I think) a nice gift for Valentine's Day. He wasn't sure what he wanted, maybe a necklace, but had heard good things about Tiffany's, so, not knowing what he was getting himself into, he went there. He quickly realized he was in over his head and couldn't really afford it, but also didn't know how to bow out with a shred of dignity, so he bought the cheapest necklace he could find at about $300 or $400, effectively emptying his bank account. I found out because the other students were giving him a hard time. I asked him why he didn't return it if he couldn't really afford it, but he said he worked every day after school before V-Day so he didn't have time. The story ended well in that she absolutely loved the necklace, wears it every day, and that they are still together over a year later, but I told him there's no way he can come back from that. By establishing a nice piece of jewelry as the standard for their first V-Day, he can't just give her a card the next year. At least he got a good life lesson?

12. At least you have something in common, lilypanda22.

In seventh grade I got my friend to give this boy I liked a little balloon and a card for Valentine’s Day. (Anonymous) Later during lunch he said to me “hey lilypanda22, I think I know who these are from.” I just kinda smiled and said “I do too.”

Welp that kid avoided me like the plague. I never did anything like that again haha

13. We can't all be ballers, DryBicycle.

Use to coach a coed middle school basketball team.

One of the girls on the team was barely 4' tall but fast af. She was an awesome point guard but not much of a scorer. The kid who played center was this nerdy kid who was kind of a bully. We constantly had to put him in time out during practice. But every time he was put with on the girls team, he started to behave and try his best. We just kind of went with it. After awhile, he started to only pass the ball to her. If he got a rebound, pass it to her. Someone passed him the ball, pass it to her. He picks the ball up off the ground, pass it to her. It was all this kid did. We coaches just let it go, but this kid was obviously starting to crush on her.

During our first game with another school, we were losing pretty badly. We expected it but tried to make it at least fun for the kids. Center kid kept passing to point guard girl and the other team eventually picked up on it. At one point, 3 players are marking her and he tries forcing a pass. The other team goes on a fast break. This girl walks up to him and yells "Stop passing to me all the time. I don't like you." and the boy runs off the court crying. I had to have a fun conversation with an 11 year old boy with about not smothering girls if you like them.

tl;dr: Coached coed basketball. Boy tried to turn girl into Kobe, made her frustrated, yelled at him in the middle of a game.

14. Chocolate goes great with public humiliation, Zetdoessomeshit

So when I was in High school, we had this pretty girl in my third period. She’d flirt every morning with her boyfriend who’d walk her to class.

So when Valentine’s Day comes, she’s sulking that he didn’t walk her to class when he finally walks in with one of those bigass teddy bears and a box of chocolates. Needless to say, she’s ecstatic. The entire class is watching the exchange and rooting for the guy.

The kicker? Another guy walks in, completely oblivious, with a rose and a box of chocolates saying, “hey babe,” and kisses her on the cheek. The girl kinda just freezes in place, smiling but obviously panicking on the inside. The original “boyfriend”? He’s still holding the bear and chocolates and just walks the fuck out.

He never walked her to class again.

Money is one of the top reasons people divorce, and even before marriage it can prove a complicated area to navigate for couples who live together. Even couples from similar financial backgrounds are likely to have a little bit of income disparity, so it's crucial to reach a mutual agreement about how you approach shared costs before tensions mount.

While some couples go dutch all the way, others scale things based on who makes more money, and who has more individual costs. If one partner makes a lot more money, it's not uncommon for them to pitch in more for rent or nights out. But similarly, if one partner has a lot of debt or personal costs, it's often expected they'll cover that from their own income.

Of course, every relationship and set of circumstances are unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to finances in a relationship. The most important factor is that both partners communicate and come to a comfortable mutual agreement, because if you don't have that - there's trouble in paradise.

Speaking of trouble in paradise, in a recent post on the Am I The A*shole subreddit, a woman shared how her relationship has become tense since she inherited a windfall of $4 million dollars.

AITA for telling my boyfriend he isn’t entitled to my inheritance?

In the post, OP shared that her recently deceased grandpa left her a surprising $4 million, an amount she never could have imagined.

My grandpa passed away a few months ago and I inherited a little over $4 million from his estate. I had no idea he had that much money and was honestly not expecting to receive anything, as I assumed it would all go to my mom.

After getting over the shock, OP decided to use the money to quit her job and pursue a quiet and peaceful life of art and gaming.

After I got over the initial shock, I took the opportunity to finally quit my job (which I really hated), as I don’t have any outstanding debts and can easily live off of $40,000 a year. I’m pretty introverted and am more than happy to stay at home working on art/music/other interests and gaming.

However, since the inheritance hit, things have gotten tense with OP's boyfriend - who now feels she should cover all of the rent and utilities.

Ever since I inherited the money, my boyfriend has been pressuring me to cover all of the rent and utilities (about $1200 a month) for our apartment and start putting money away into a joint savings fund. I would be happy to do this if we were married, but we’re not. We’ve only been dating for a year and a half, and I would prefer to keep our finances separate. Despite not working anymore, I still pay my half of the rent every month and have started paying for a housekeeper to come in and clean a few times a week, so our apartment is nearly always spotless and looks great.

While OP thinks her boyfriend is being entitled, and prefers to keep her finances separate, her boyfriend thinks she's being selfish for making him pay an equal amount when she has so much more money.

I told my boyfriend he isn’t entitled to my money and he said I was being selfish for expecting him to still contribute to the rent when I could easily afford to pay for the whole thing. AITA?

playhookie thinks OP is totally within her rights, and that she should be wary of moving forward in the relationship.

Nta as you’re not married - I’d be very wary of marrying him though at this stage if this is his instant reaction to your finances.

Get some urgent legal advice on the precise law where you are regarding locking up your money into a trust with named beneficiaries (you and any future children), cohab agreements, common law marriage (if it exists where you are) and anything else which a decent lawyer will know.

Mlhxll thinks OP is selfish and her boyfriend is entitled, and they should possibly reconsider their relationship.

I’m sorry but ESH, woah boy I’ll get some hate for this.

A year and a half isn’t that long. It really can be an awkward stage in any relationship, been there myself. But having been in a really long term relationship, at some point you have to decide. If you're really in it for the long run.

He’s definitely the a*shole here for pressuring you, it’s not a decision that needs to be made now, you're still adjusting, and getting comfortable with how you want to spend your time.

But you're the a*shole because your thinking about yourself.

Reddit and specifically the wider commentators in r/AmITheAsshole have this weird view of social and relationship norms, that don’t actually reflect the real world. Yes it’s your money to do with what you want, yes he isn’t entitled to it, yes legally he can’t really do anything. But that’s not how love really works.

You need to think about what the money you have can do to better both of your lives and your relationship.

Do you want kids? Do you want to buy a house together? Do you want to travel together? do you have dreams that you have and want to realize together as a couple?

It sounds like you’ve made the unilatteral decision to quit your old life for a new one. To explore yourself and spend all of your time doing things that make you happy. which is great, and fantastic, but you should have had, especially in a relationship your committed to, a serious discussion about what you should do moving forward.

Is he in a job he loves? Would the money from the rent relieve pressure on him? Allow him to focus on other areas that allow him to be a better partner? In turn adding to your relationship.

Relationships are harder I think, as they go grow longer. They start to transition from that honeymoon phase of love and lust to more give and take, sacrifice, and bettering each other. Because this is the one person *you have * decided to invest in.

You have created this post for validation of your decision because I think you know that you're ignoring a lot of things that are deeper and more real than a reddit post could ever solve.

kaylag00 thinks that if OP's boyfriend hasn't expected money in the past, he's not a gold digger, just a man struggling to pay his half of rent.

ESH just my opinion, don't take it to heart. If you've been with him for a year and a half and he's never asked for more money, he's not a gold digger. If you two live together already, you should be a team. He shouldn't be asking for you to pay everything and putting money in a joint account, but if you are planning to marry this guy some day I think y'all should start talking about financially building a future together.

You planning to just live off the money and not work is a little selfish. He's busting his ass to pay his half, you're just using your dead grandpa's money so you don't have to bust your a*s.

ChubbsAndMaiAxe doesn't think anyone is technically wrong, they are just misaligned.

NAH

It seems clear you aren't really interested in marrying this guy.

The reason I say this is because it seems all your thoughts and energy so far have been to improve and set yourself up for life, not a budding family. You guys cohabitate and have been together for a decent chunk of time, its not casual.

Put yourself in his shoes. He works hard, like you did. You two were building a life together. You come into an a*sload of money and all you are focusing on is yourself, not the family. He has to work full time like before and watch you do whatever you want. When he asked for help with saving ( a smart way to use money, not just asking for stuff etc), you went apesh*t on him. Even a saint would have trouble being cool with that.

He won't be wrong for feeling that way and you aren't obligated to be that into him. But with your attitude the relationship has run its course.

What do you think? Is OP being needlessly selfish with her generous funds, or is her boyfriend acting entitled about someone else's money, or is this merely an issue of compatibility? The internet appears to be divided.

Digital communication technologies make our lives so much easier—except when they don't. Sometimes accidentally clicking a button on auto-pilot can transform a regular day into a psychological hellscape. And few digital features have ruined more days/lives than the "reply all" button in an e-mail. Seriously, that button should come with a WARNING. Because some e-mails are really only intended for one person, and not your group of friends, address book, or entire company.

Someone asked Reddit: "what is the worst 'reply to all' mistake you've witnessed?" Here are 21 stories of people who accidentally hit "reply all" and probably regret it to this day:

1.) From needsmoresteel:

An Excel sheet containing a LOT of salary information. And then another one following it to say don't open that first one and to just delete it. Nope, curiosity not piqued..... not at all.

2.) From Slytherintensity:

Former admin at my old job received an email from my boss with an attachment and the note "send this (attachment) to that stupid f*cking idiot (client)." she forwarded the email straight to the client. That's why she was the former admin. To be fair, he(boss)was terrible dick, but still......

3.) From emby5:

HR manager sent an Excel workbook with some pertinent info on the first sheet to everyone, but failed to remove the fourth sheet which had everybody's salary.

4.) From tiedyeladyland:

A woman sent a retirement announcement inadvertently to the entire, tens-of-thousands strong agency I work for. People were hitting reply all to tell others not to reply all. It went on for hours

5.) From unozom:

There was an email floating around the office about some sort of event that someone was trying to organize. I can't remember exactly what it was about, but this woman clearly thought she was only responding to her friend when she wrote, "I'll tell you the coochy cream story later."

6.) From paulcole710:

Founder asking "how to fire the outsourced Indian developers" cc'ed to the outsourced Indian developers. Problem solved itself quickly.

7.) From DamnPillBugs:

Worked at a large Fortune 100 company (~70k employees) a few years back. CEO sent out an email to "All Users", then some f*ckstick replys all with a comment back. The chain reaction of dimwits all clicking Reply All to say "Stop pressing reply all" brought the email system to its knees for about 5 days.

8.) From optimaloutcome:

I saw a guy 'reply all' with a file attached that included the social security number of his whole family, his income, wife's income, etc.

9.) From iStankonia:

My former coworker hit reply all on an email about a golf scramble. He tried forwarding it to another guy talking about seeing one of the new interns in a short golfing skirt.

Notice I said "former" coworker... Also, my team won the golf scramble if that matters.

10.) From BigOldQueer:

Worked on a TV show that everyone except the creator hated, and everyone knew from the ratings would be canceled any second. I was working in legal, and on an email chain where a report of outstanding legal issues for the upcoming episode was sent to literally everyone you could think of (50+ people) ranging from me (one title above entry level) to the head of the network.

A middling executive replied to all "they're getting canceled and we still have to deal with this shit?"

To make matters worse, she attempted to RECALL the email, just drawing more attention to it, and then replied to all again "PLEASE DISREGARD LAST EMAIL, TRYING TO GENERATE AN INTERNAL REPORT FOR [MY DEPARTMENT], HIT THE WRONG BUTTON"

It was the "Hit the wrong button" that sent me and my boss into hysterics. I so badly wanted to reply that we didn't know there was a shit-talk button.''

11.) From Eddie_shoes:

My cousin once sent an email meant for his girlfriend to everyone in his address book. He wrote in great detail about the ways in which he and his brothers English bulldog were going to have sex with her when he got home. This probably happened 15 years ago, and I'm sure he has convinced himself that everyone has forgotten. Things like that stay forever.

12.) ​​​​​​​From geli7:

My first job out of school, my manager had to fire someone. The manager was pretty young, and it's the first time he ever had to do this. He sends an email to HR for assistance and direction as to how to go about firing this person.

Well, the issue became moot when he accidentally CC'd the guy who was going to be fired. We were able to actually see the moment that guy got the email...though we didn't know what happened at the time. But we did see him stand up and storm over to the manager's office.

13.) From SmackySmack:

My brother-in-law's family decided to carry on the conversation on an email chain without removing my sister or brother-in-law from it. Topics discussed were my brother-in-law's ineptitude in general and disdain for my sister.

These are the people who have made overtures that in case my sister or brother-in-law cannot handle raising my nephew, that they'll take over.

I have the email in safekeeping if there is ever a custody battle.

14.) ​​​​​​​From ligamentary:

Babysitter wrote to my husband, my daughter, and I, about babysitting my granddaughter who was staying with us.

My husband and I were going out on a date night.

I was trying to respond to my husband"Come 7 o'clock..." With a picture of my tits.

Whelp...

Tl;dr Sexted my daughter and the babysitter.

15.) From ask_me_if_Im_lying:

After an all staff announcement (around 2000 people) from the new CEO about an upcoming downsizing, one person replied to everyone shortly after saying:

"Can you believe this shit Kate? This new CEO is such a f*cking c*nt, I swear if I see him on the street I'll break his f*cking neck"

As you can imagine, that's threats of violence and taken pretty seriously. On the plus side though, she didn't have to stress about the downsizing anymore because she was fired.

16.) ​​​​​​​From Thebutthairbandit:

I'm a teacher, and I am in a group chat with my fellow department members.

This past school year, Person A lost his grandmother, whom he was very close with, a week before his wedding. He really wanted her to be there, and he was quite upset. Naturally, as a department, we threw around the idea of getting him a card and putting some money in it for him.

The next day Person B, an ignorant, middle-aged woman who is terrible with technology, makes the mistake of replying to the group chat, instead of the person she was bitching to. Her reply went something along the lines of: "This is ridiculous. I don't have the money to give him. I have too much going on in my life right now and I really don't need this. I'm not giving money." Meanwhile, this lady drives a brand spankin' new Mercedes to school every day, and spends hundreds of dollars on her hair and nails a week (she brags about it often).

Needless to say, Person A was extremely embarrassed, and the rest of us were pissed.

17.) From anduda:

My best friend friend and best man replied all to a group text when I was getting married. We were talking about making plans and doing wedding related errands and he said something to the effect of, "When are we gonna ditch these losers and get drunk?" my fiance was unimpressed.

18.) ​​​​​​​From ProfessorRonJohnson:

At my university, the administration always sends out alerts to all students, faculty, and staff when a sexual assault occurs on campus. These come in the form of both email and text messages, and everyone receives both. So in the spring of my freshman year, we received an alert that an assault had occurred on campus the night before. Well this guy, Mike, who works in the university's IT department hit reply all to that alert email, and wrote to all of the students, faculty, and staff of the school:

How do I unsubscribe to these alerts and text messages? I would still like to receive important messages... just not these

I think he still has his job honestly, but he was as popular as Harambe on campus for about two or three weeks.

19.) From rapmachinenodiggidy:

At university my best friend spent the summer travelling in Vietnam and Thailand, he sent me a very sordid email about all the whores and sluts he was banging. Unfortunately he'd hit "reply all" to one of those chain mails that went around friends back in the day and even more unfortunate was that his girlfriend was one of the recipients. Jesus I'd forgotten about that

20.) ​​​​​​​From Lowyfer:

Fortune five hundred company. Email blast to many many departments and a VP of important things replied all:

"It is Saturday night and I am too drunk to respond to these emails!"

21.) ​​​​​​​From nicktf:

At the Head office of a large UK insurer, Adrian, the pugnacious, unpopular and unappealing contractor was showing Peter, a new programmer on his first day how to use cc:Mail. Peter is logged in, Adrian is next to him, typing. He decides on the following message

Subject: Wanker

Body: You are one.

He shows Peter how to call up the address book and selects the first entry which happens to be "A-J Surnames", couple of clicks and there it is in the to: box.

He then states, explicitly, "better not click send!" then, somewhat inexplicably, does that very thing.

About 800 employees, including the CEO, almost simultaneously look up and start to loudly discuss exactly who this "Peter" is and why he thinks they may have onanistic tendencies.

Peter, rather unfairly, spent some uncomfortable time with both HR and the CEO, who was a "hands on" type, to be sure. Ironically, Adrian, who indeed was a wanker of the most furious variety, didn't receive said email as his initial was further down in the alphabet.

E-mail with caution, kids.

There are definitely two kinds of people on a plane: 1) people who recline their seats in coach with reckless abandon for whomever is behind them 2) people who refuse to recline out of respect for the limited space.

Sure, there's an argument to be made that if the seat you paid for has the option to recline, then you should be able to recline it. The problem is that most planes are designed so tightly that if the person in front of you reclines, now you have a stranger snoring in your lap for the entire flight. If you're tall or have long legs, forget about having any kind of a comfortable experience.

Now, a video of a man punching the back of the seat of a woman who reclined is morally dividing the internet. Repeatedly punching the back of the seat of the person in front of you is a wildly immature and rude thing to do, but some people are still taking his side out of anti-reclining solidarity.

The good news is: whether you are a recliner or an anti-recliner, no one is more annoying than a screaming child on a plane.

Whose side are you on?

Some were on her side: Recliners unite!

Others, despite the punching, were on his side:

Others were divided:

Choose a side, everyone!

Riding the train can be a romantic experience. You can snuggle up to big windows that give you a luxurious view of the outside world as you pass through different towns and regions. If the cafe car is open you can order yourself a drink and make friends with a fellow traveler, and no matter where you're headed, there is a brief sense of purgatory that can be empowering.

The train tracks, however, are a completely different story. Train tracks often serve as gathering spaces for drunk teens, indisposed friend groups, runaway animals, and criminals hoping to litter their crime evidence. Anyone who works as a railroad engineer long enough is bound to have some stories under their belt - good, bad, and ugly.

In a popular Reddit thread, people who work as conductors or for the railroads shared the weirdest things they've seen on the tracks, and it ranges from hilarious to heartbreaking.

1. rolemodel38 is just glad they haven't hit anybody yet.

I work in Houston, as an engineer, and we usually putt around town between 10-20 mph. Slow enough for a naked crack head to jump out of a bush by a city park and start pleasuring herself in front of the engine. I guess she really likes trains.

Edit: I also had a kid play chicken with my train when I was going about 50mph, but that was more scary than weird. I haven't hit anybody yet, but everybody says it's only a matter of time.

2. THESALTEDPEANUT knows that trains always win a game of chicken.

Freight train conductor here, wanna know what's creepy or weird? When people try to get across the tracks last second or play chicken with my 30 million pound train. You're not playing chicken with an inanimate object you're playing with me and my engineer. When you lose, and it happen far too often, I get to see your exploded carcass flipping at 150 RPMs off the track and deal with the overwhelming feeling of guilt. Please don't try to beat a train.

3. kitterpup found a missing person and went to his funeral.

I work as a backup janitor when the normal one isn't available, I've seen some very weird things at the places I've cleaned. There's the usual needles and beer cans, not that shocking after a while, but the weirdest thing I have ever seen was when I was called out to a train yard to clean out some disused engines.

These things hadn't been used since the mid 90's and were going to be sold for scrap as they were too battered to be refurbished. I was warned beforehand that there might be a bum in one of them, but I brushed it off since I had seen many bums at the various places I cleaned, they usually just ran off when they saw me coming. So I picked up my bucket and got in the company truck to go out to the disused part of the yard where the trains were, routine janitorial duties.

As I am driving out there I notice that I left the keys to the trains back at the office, oh well I figure, these things are so old that the door might not even be there anymore. So I drive out to the engines and park my truck and get out, nothing is creepy at this point, just some rotting diesel engines, I had seen much more creepy things before. I walk up the railing and kick in the door with little force, it didn't even have a lock anymore, I walk in and I immediately notice something very odd, it is in near mint condition.

Great I think, one less room to clean, but then I notice something very very disturbing, a skeleton perched against a wall. Then I notice that its wearing a leather jacket and clutching a pill bottle in its bony hands, it was a suicide. I walk a bit closer and grab the pill bottle from its hand, the prescription date was 10/9/96, over ten years ago, this guy had been rotting in a train for ten years and nobody noticed his absence. I pressed the button on my radio and told the guard to call the cops, there's a dead guy in here and he's been here for a decade.

About five minutes later a cop car pulls up and an off duty cop steps out and walks up to the train, turns out that this man had been missing since 1997 and nobody cared enough to look for him. He was an elderly man who lost his wife and offed himself in a train, he laid there for 11 years and was never disturbed. When they buried him a few days later I was the only one to come, all of his family was dead or didn't care enough to come, sad and creepy!

4. AdishBestServed_Cold knows the arches can mean trouble.

Up in the coal mines of Wyoming they have what rail crews call the golden arches. It's just a yellow painted framework that has speakers on it that the empty coal trains pass through. A warning is played on repeat saying in Spanish and English "Danger! Get out! This car is about to be loaded!" Loaded coal cars get dumped at power plant pits where huge augers break it up. I guess more than a few poor souls have been augered up accidentally after being cover up with coal.

5. Whippedkreme saw one guy naked a lot.

Went by a few movie shoots. Biggest one was the first Transformers movie. The scene where Bumblebee gets caught. A lot of movies are shot in that area by the 1st street bridge in LA. Pretty sure there is a porn studio not far from there too.

There is a nudist colony on one run where an old guy would always come out and wave at the trains. Knew we were coming since there were road crossings that we had to whistle for.

Got mooned by some guys on a golf course. Not pretty...

6. 5ptBRO has seen a lot.

Locomotive engineer from the northeast US here with 15 years service.

Aside from the dead animals I think finding a body that was hit by a previous train might have been the creepiest. I've hit a few cars and people before but I never had to go back and look (that's the conductor's job). The person we found wasn't really identifiable as a human being, just a pile of meat. What gave it away were the scraps of clothing mixed into the pile.

As far as weird things, there are a few people out there that are really "in love" with trains. You can use your imagination as to what these grown men do in the middle of nowhere at 2am.

7. GrootTheLivingTree saw the many stages of a dead pony.

I'm a conductor so I'm the guy that sits directly to the left of the engineer. I haven't been doing it for too long yet so I probably haven't seen the amount of stuff a qualified engineer has. My first week as a trainee on the job we came across a dead pony next to the tracks that must have been hit only a few hours earlier.

The next morning going back the other way we passed by it again and it looked like what you would expect to see on a Discovery Channel show. Scavengers had gotten to it that night and it was maybe half a pony at this point. Nature is pretty rad.

8. magicmike87 is saddened by a lot that they see.

I'm a railway engineer in the UK, this time of year is the worst for suicides, with 2 in the last two days on the route I work on. I've been track inspecting before and from the clean-up of a suicide the night before they've missed a few bits, so what appears to be a bit of skull or knee cap can be seen. The worst bit is the smell. You become aware of the drug spots across the route too with the number of needles under bridges. I've seen bongs made out of all sorts, blow-up dolls, vibrators and worst to this day - half a used flesh light.

My gut wrenches the most when I see pets. Cats and dogs are frequently found.

Some aresholes in certain spots are taping or gluing used needles to our access gates too - total sickos.

Happy to answer any other questions.

9. JloveG witnessed a man who knows the meaning of "waste not, want not."

I worked on the signaling for the light rail system in Pittsburgh, USA. We would do all of our testing late at night after revenue hours. Lots of wildlife around the tracks. As we were moving along at about 50 mph a whitetail deer jumps out onto the tracks and we clobber the poor thing. The engineer doesn't hesitate, gets on the radio and tells central control to call Hannibal Lecter, and gives the milepost. I look at him sideways but he doesn't explain.

We continue our run into the city, turnaround, and head back out the same way. As we come up on the site where we hit the deer there is a guy in full camouflage on the side of the railroad butchering the carcass, with a big pile of steaming deer guts next to the track (did i mention it was about 15 degrees F and snowing)? Engineer gives a toot on the horn and we continue with our run...

10. SlutSarahLance's dad has seen too much.

Dads a RR guy in a bigger city yard. He's seen so much death, sooooo much death. Mostly suicides, people jumping in front of trains or laying down on the tracks. He says if you don't lay the right way it can actually take you a few minutes to die because the weight of the cars seals off anything broken. So even if you're ripped in half it takes a few minutes to bleed out.

Tl;DR Unless you really want to die horribly and slowly, don't lay on the tracks to die. Jump in front of the train. Or you know get f*cking help and don't traumatize the people who end up killing up you.No really Get Help: USA National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK(8255)

11. superking01 has countless stories.

Been a conductor for about 8 years now. The main thing I have noticed about human behavior since I started working for the RR is that people seem to view a train as a machine instead of a vehicle being driven by people. Because of this, they are willing to do horrible/ridiculous/dangerous things that they probably wouldn't do if they thought another human being was going to be involved. Here's my list of shit my coworkers and I have seen:

1. More teenagers and gay dudes fucking than you can shake a railroad lantern at.

2. Drunks and druggies lost in the middle of nowhere... like MILES from anywhere.

3. A coworker came across a train hopper that had his legs sheared off when he tried to jump in an intermodal car without a bottom. The guy lived too.

4. Another coworker found a teenage murder victim whose pimp tried to cover up her murder by dumping her body on a remote controlled locomotive track.

5. My uncle was a conductor on a train that hit a woman committing suicide that decided to take her dog with her. She lived, the dog didn't.

6. I hit a man committing suicide. I was oblivious to what was going on until my engineer said "I think that guy is going to jump in front of us". I could see guy trying to time his jump. It was pretty disturbing because there was nothing you could do.

7. A coworker came across $250,000 in counterfeit money in a gym bag.

8. My uncle hit a cow once and managed to knock its asshole out.

9. Some guys laid a bunch of landscaping stones and tie plates on top of the tracks for about 100 yards in front of their trailer park. We could see them all standing back from the tracks drinking beers and waiting. It was all fun and games until our 12k ton train started crushing all the stones and sending shrapnel everywhere.

10. A train one of my coworkers was on snagged a chain link fence that was being installed and rolled up the guys installing it inside the fencing. They don't think anyone got hurt. It was a pretty rough area though, so they didn't stop to find out.

12. greenlantern33 still isn't sure whether or not the trenchcoat man was a ghost.

Conductor here. One time in the middle of the night in the middle of winter (10 degrees and a foot of snow on the ground) my train went into emergency. I had to walk the length of the train to see what the problem was.

The train was right in the middle of a very small town. As I'm walking by one of the houses on the outskirts of this town I see a guy standing in the driveway about 50 feet from me wearing a trench coat and a sock hat type thing. The first thing that struck me as odd is that it was way too cold to be wearing just a trench coat. I shine my lantern on the guy, wave, and say "Hi." Nothing. The guy doesn't even move.

I continue walking past the guy to the end the train while looking back very often. I get to the end, turn around and head back. I get back to the house where this guy is standing and he is still there in the same place in the same position. I don't even say anything this time. I just speed walk back to the head of the train.

The next day I'm taking a train back home during the day. I'm paying special attention to this house as we go by it. There is nothing there. The drive isn't shoveled. Nothing is there that could have been mistaken for a guy in a trench coat. I have since been by this house dozens of times and I have never seen a car parked there, or a light on or anything at all.

TLDR; saw a scary guy in a trench coat standing in the driveway of an abandoned house at 3 in the morning in the middle of winter.

13. 3riversfantasy was relieved it wasn't a real baby.

I thought I found a dead baby under a bridge. I was stopped waiting for my signal and I noticed a bundle of clothes and what looked like the body of a small child underneath the bridge. My heart was pounding like crazy as I approached it. Turned out is was a doll, some used needles, and some discarded clothes. I was relieved.

14. King_Superman hopes an engineer somewhere remembers them fondly.

One time I went skinny dipping with some friends then we all stood next to the track naked as a train went by. Hopefully it brightened the engineer's day.

15. bynjay knew where the women sun bathed.

As a previous train driver in Sydney Australia. There where two spots to look for naked women who would regularly sun bake naked in their back yards in summer.

I've also ran over a lot of stuff like bikes, shopping trolleys/carts and a lounge.

Weirdest thing I've seen was when preparing my train in the yard I found a brown paper bag with a huge black dildo in it and yes I left it there.

Edit: for the love of science and titties. The East Hills and Bondi Junction lines.

16. Signal_Maintainer caused a hilarious locomotion commotion.

Not an engineer, but I do operate a HyRail truck with train wheels on it that zips down the railroad tracks...

I was working in the port of Metro Vancouver, and had to measure out 2500 feet from where we were working to do a certain regulatory test, so I jumped in my truck and reset my counter and went on my way. I arrived at my 2500 foot stop and jumped out to spray paint the railroad tie, to mark that spot for the rest of the crew. I then realized I had no spray paint, nothing in the whole truck. I searched for a little flag I could put up but had none of those either. I ended up searching the ground for something like a stick or garbage that I could just leave there in the middle of the tracks for the time being.

Now, down in the part of Vancouver, the tracks basically run parallel to Hastings Street, and for those of you who have never heard of it, it's basically the world's biggest confined heroin problem. Drugs Inc. Actually did their heroin episode down there. Anyway, you always find crazy shit along the tracks there, if it's not a body, it's 500 hypodermic needles.

So in this giant pile of garbage, I find an old bbq, complete with a set of bbq tools like tongs and brush etc. I thought it would be pretty funny if I just set up a bbq in the middle of the tracks (we were working there so no chance of a train hitting it) so I went to move the bbq and found, no joke, the biggest, longest, girthiest dildo I have ever seen in my life, even to this day. It was at least 3 feet long and had to have been almost a foot in circumference. Who is buying this type of thing..

I decided this would be the best thing to mark the location with. I ended up finding a couple old random shoes in that pile and, armed with my tongs I found earlier and a pair of gloves, I managed to jam the dildo, balls first obviously, into one of the shoes and got it to stand upright all by itself. I really wish I was able to have my phone at work, I would have had a good picture for you guys.

Anyway, with that spot marked for the next guy, I put my truck into reverse and headed back to the crossing we were working at. I arrived and the foreman at the time was asking how I marked the footage without taking the paint, I told him that he would eventually find out when we got there.

We packed everything up and were waiting for a train on the opposite track to go by us when the trains brakes hammered on and started screeching. Scared the shit out of all of us. Now when a train goes into emergency, everything stops and the traffic controller is on the radio immediately. We were all told to stay where we were as there had been a person struck by a train just half a mile from our jobsite. We took our truck off the tracks and headed down the parallel road to see what had happened.

When we arrived we found a CP police officer and 3 port authority vehicles there, all parked right beside where I had left my uh.. "marker"

With the way that it had looked, how thick it was and the fact that the top of it was red, I guess one of the port authority officers thought it was a severed leg and called it in to stop all trains in the area and call the police force as well.

The look on my foreman's face was priceless when he looked back at me, after looking at the 4 grown men standing around a 3 foot high dildo stuffed into a dirty Reebok...

We didn't say a word to anybody about it as I'm sure we would all be in shit..

I realize now that this is probably not the response you were looking for and I'm almost certain you had to be there to really appreciate how ridiculous this was but, you know what, this is all you're getting from me.

I hauled half a dead bear off the tracks on my second day working for this company. I've also seen a few dead bodies of people committing suicide by train but, they're just laying in the ditch, they didn't ever end up exploding like I thought they would.

17. jokerblues's brother saved a life.

My brother was a lifeguard and used to walk to work across several train tracks. One day, a train was stopped on one of the tracks and my brother saw a figure lying prostrate next to the train in a pool of blood. It turns out the guy had tried to crawl underneath the train while it was stopped only to have the train start moving while he was underneath it.

The guy must have been about 60 years old. The train had crushed one of his legs. Being a lifeguard, my brother made a tourniquet, called 911, etc. The man survived, but his leg had to be amputated. The paramedics said that he would have died within the hour from blood loss if my brother hadn't been there.

18. TheBeerMonkey hit an entire flock of sheep.

Bit late to the party but here we go..

Probably the strangest/most messed up thing would be the time we hit a flock of sheep. At line speed (110kph or about 70mph). No idea how they got there, guess the fence fell over or the gate was left open but the first I saw of them was what appeared to be long grass covering the tracks ahead. A second later we realize they are sheep so start leaning on the whistle.

A matter of seconds after that and we're on top of them. Can't forget the awful, continuous noise it made nor can I unsee the bits of wool and guts on flicking up onto the windscreen. The smell itself was horrendous, especially once the heat of dead sheep started cooking itself on hot traction motors underneath.

We pulled up at the next crossing loop to cross another train so we got out and viewed the damage. I used to have photos but that phone has since died.

19. SenorPierre saw a train order a pizza.

I'm no engineer, but I saw a Dominos delivery guy make a delivery to a train that had been at a crossing for an hour or so.

20. howlingwaters likes seeing where people live.

I'm not a train engineer per se, but I've spent lots of years working on the signals of the east coast...

I'd say one of the most interesting things I've seen are the villages of people that really pop up in the right spots. Tons of people, dogs, homeless villages with friendly people who aren't afraid or embarrassed ever at all.

Also, in some mountain towns of West Virginia, there are some unique folks with tracks running through their properties.

No matter how awful an artist your partner is, everyone loves getting a homemade Valentine's Day card. The annual romantic crafts projects puts pressure on couples once a year, and it's not too late to get inspiration.

1. A jolt of energy.

2. It's an honor to be included next to bacon.

3. "Shame on you."

4. Plants are the reason for the season.

5. Congratulations to them both.

6. The best Shakespeare quote.

7. Product placement.

8. Art from the heart.

9. Nothing says romance like dad jokes.

10. Honesty is better than hearts.

11. Slide into each other's DMs.

12. True love.

13. Extremely 2020 card.

14. Elegant.

15. "Met my girlfriend using Tinder, made her this Valentine's Day Card featuring my amazing opening line."

16. Charming.

17. Feeling warm and fuzzy.

If you wore born and grew up in the U.S., Canada, Australia or any other country considered "developed," there are probably a lot of things you take for granted on a daily basis. Things like clean drinking water, big grocery stores, and even mirrors. But for people who grew up in developing countries and then left, many aspects of life in the developed world might come as a shock.

Someone asked this question on Reddit: "People who grew up in third-world countries, what was the biggest shock for you when moving into a developed country?"

These 35 responses offer fascinating insight into the things many of us don't realize are "first-world" luxuries:

1.) From 0m3gaMan5513:

My wife’s first time in the U.S she burst out laughing at how a 4-way stop worked, and just couldn’t believe people actually followed the rules.

2.) From paladin400:

Not getting suspicious when a stranger talks to you on the street. I can't get over it, I get anxious every time, but people in Canada don't seem to mind at all

Where I come from, when a stranger approaches you, you nope the fuck out

3.) From Kenan3345:

Grocery stores like Walmart, Publix, and Kroger. Huge and vast, have air conditioning, massive variety and tons of stuff I have never heard of. Huge culture shock to me and my father in 2001 since we had no major grocery stores in Bosnia at the time.

4.) From truckerslife:

When I was in the Marines I had a friend that was from extreme rural Africa.

So we took him to 3d shows and such. He had been in the US for around 6 months but even things like tv was an amazing luxury to him. Someone in the group picked up one at a pawn shop off post and gave it to him and he was just amazed that someone would just give him a TV.

Something nifty. He had it set up so direct deposits would go to an account his village had access to. His salary as an E2 in the Navy made his family semi royalty in the village.

5.) From Ferna_89:

The quality of the public infrastructure, and how respectfull city planning is with pedestrians. Sydney is full of beautifull little gifts in the shape of shortcuts, stairs, parks, pathways. Everywhere.

It truly is a joy to just walk through the city.

Also, dogs are more polite that people where I come from.

6.) From CheesyDigz:

That things would get fixed. I had a vending machine in my dorm building, it broke down and said well shit guess no more vending machine. Absolutely flabbergasted when I saw the machine repaired and working

7.) From Cypher007:

I visited my cousins in the U.S once. I was suprised that your houses don't have walls around them. There were only those fences at the side and back that pretty much anyone can jump over. Where I live the only houses who dont have walls surrounding them are those in compounds or subdivisions that have roaming security guards. Paid security guards not volunteers like the neighborhood watch kind of thing

edit: To the people asking I'm from the Philippines but its nice interesting to see that other countries carry this tradition practice.

8.) ​​​​​​From McLee78:

Just how much of my mind was previously occupied by machinations of keeping my family alive. Like always subconsciously running through the drill of what to do in the event of an armed high jacking or house break-in, and being super vigilant around people and in various places, no matter the time of day.

I felt like at least 10% of my mental capacity has been freed up for other more productive thoughts like appreciating beauty and freedom, planning a prosperous future and trusting that the sense of security my family and I feel isn’t just a ruse.

9.) From spartan6222:

My roomate's coworker is from Guatemala. He says the one of the best things about the US is that when you call for an ambulance, one actually shows up even if you aren't rich or important.

10.) From brazilian_irish:

Safety when walking on the streets during night.

When in Brazil, I used to wait for my wife on the bus stop from college. As she usually left college around 22:00, it was dangerous. We used to live on a central zone, and her college was also central.

In Ireland, if she leaves a party at 3:00, I don't get concerned at all.

So great to live without being afraid. It took us about 1 year to relax.

11.) From burn_motherfucker:

How little theft there is. I was always told to always mind my bag and make it clear I'm holding it tight. Now I can freely leave it beside me, sometimes not even look! I've had friends leave a purse on a table in a restaurant and I made jokes about how easy it would be to steal it. Just a lot more relaxing in public due to less theft.

Another one is how less physical fighting in schools there is. From a young age I was always told "if someone hits you, hit them back harder" but when we moved to UK my dad told me before my first day of school "if someone hits you, tell the teacher".

12.) From imk:

I am from the USA, but I am currently in South America. Back home there are couples where if one texts the other and they don’t respond right away, they assume they don’t like them or that they are cheating or something. Here if you text someone and they don’t respond, you assume their phone was stolen.

I am attending a wedding next week in Buenos Aires and I needed to tell the bride something. She didn’t respond. After a couple of days I contacted her mother. Yep, phone stolen. Now she is trying to get in touch with people who are undoubtedly sending her messages. Ugh.

13.) From alittlbitofJessica:

1. Toilet paper. Toilet paper everywhere. You don’t have to bring your own to a public restroom because there’s one in every stall here in America, and it’s free.

2. Restaurant service and food abundance. You asked for a medium well steak but was slightly over-cooked? You send it back to the kitchen and you get a new one cooked for you, and the server even apologizes for it!

3. Black people. White people. Asian people. People with natural red hair. In my fifteen years living in a small town in Central America, I saw maybe two black people, a handful of white people, the one Chinese restaurant owner, and 0 red-heads. Now I get to see all kinds of people from all over the world, with different experiences and backgrounds. It’s kinda neat.

14.) From ihateuusername:

Being able to walk around the city while using my phone.

If I use it where I live, I get murdered, raped or kidnapped over a phone.

• Honduran :)

15.) From ziggyjoe212:

Giant grocery stores are full of food and always fully stocked.

Coming from Ukraine to USA in the 90's, my entire family's jaws dropped for hours.

16.) From Onisenshi88:

Toilets ..flushing toilets that you could repeatedly flush too

17.) From rocketwayne:

The discpline in driving. In my country, even when the signal light is color red, they just brush it off and continue accelerating.

18.) From roses10111:

How old the houses are. I was expecting modern construction like in my country, buy instead saw old buildings which, ironically, valued more than even the more modern ones

19.) From BellasFloyd:

How expensive many things are while certain things are very cheap but theres always enough.

20.) From FreshPrinceOfH:

The postal system. The logistics of delivering millions of letters to millions of homes on a daily basis is astonishing. Especially at that price. The idea that I can send a letter across the country and have it reliably delivered the next or possibly even same day is truly impressive.

21.) From cloudvodca:

I grew up in South Africa and have been living in England for 20 years.

1.Cars stop when you walk up to a pedestrian crossing.

2. Double glazed windows are really good at keeping the warm in and the noise out.

3. I can walk around at night without thinking I'm going to get shot or robbed.

4. There are only a few people on building sites and the buildings get built in a quick and organised manner.

5. When things break - someone will come and fix it.

I could go on all day....

22.) From boopboopthepoop:

Peoples' personal space is surprisingly vast

23.) From minecraft1984:

The one thing which baffled me is how there is an absence of petty crimes and how the shops in the city center were not worried about displaying their wares outside their shops. There was no risk of someone stealing those tiny stuffs.

Also at night , the shops were just closed with their glass doors. no extra iron shutters with multiple locks and stuffs.

24.) From hatedpeoplesinceday1:

Coming from the worse country to a better one, it surprises me how easy it is to do a transaction online.

Apply visa? do it online. They will notify you once they need documents, once you are ready, etc. Every step of the process.

Pay bills? Fine, do online banking.

Order food, groceries? Do it online, call for delivery.

Schedule for appointment? Call, Do it online.

Meanwhile in my country, you need to do all this PHYSICALLY. Fall in line for hours. Registration done?

On to the next step - payment. Uh oh, you need to go the bank, collect the receipt and come back here.

You want to do it online? Good luck with the shitty websites and slow internet. I could go on and on.

Its day and night comparison.

25.) From meatywood:

You've got so much fresh water, you shit in it!

26.) From UnableHorse:

The lights. So many lights from street lamps, traffic lights, huge buildings lit up all night. Oh and the highways blew my mind. They were so wide and full of so many cars.

I was 6 and I’ll never forget that first drive from the airport to my new home in December. It was also my first time seeing snow.

Edit: I moved from a small Southern Croatian village (the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia at the time, 1989) to Toronto.

27.) From randomBlackbox_:

drinking water directly from water taps

28.) From TheGalagaGuy:

I visited Germany once with my family. We were about to cross the road when a Porsche came racing through. Living in India, we experience daily traffic mishaps and there is negligible concern regarding pedestrian safety and courtesy. So we were actually shocked when the driver literally halted to a stop and insisted on us crossing the road. There was no traffic light, no zebra crossings nothing and we actually were used to letting cars pass by before walking, so this was the biggest shock to us.

29.) From naimza18:

Being a girl, you can live alone.

30.) From idontlikeflamingos:

How things actually work.

You can rely on your electricity not going out at least twice a day. If you buy something and it breaks, there's warranty with little to no hassle. Internet actually works more than it doesn't. Public transportation actually arrives and shockingly, it does on time. If you hire a service, it'll actually be done and with an expectation of quality. The list goes on.

Of course it's not perfect and there's shitty people everywhere, but that's the exception, not the rule. And it's a massive difference.

31.) From rommelslombardi:

How fast food wasn't $50 per person, but rather $5-10. Also, how much civilization advances when the AC is on on all day and everywhere, it's a blessing.

32.) ​​​​​​​From Tammytalkstoomuch:

This is a bit of a cop-out that I answer because I usually live in wealthy countries but I lived in a small town in Bolivia for 18 months and the two unexpected things that got to me when we left was cars everywhere, going to the toilet without it being an ordeal, and seeing your reflection. Such a weird thing - we lived in grass roof huts so the only time you'd see your reflection would be in our tiny mirror, there's no glass or bathroom mirrors. I'm not vain but it was very strange to suddenly see what I look like all the time. I had lost about 25 kgs (55 lbs) while I was there so that was even stranger.

33.) From LazerMoonCentaur:

A Tsongan African man who was staying with me came rushing in the first week he was staying me and woke me up. He was extremely excited that there was a garbage truck with a motorised arm and was picking up the wheely bins as it went down the street "Have you seen this! Have you seen this!" He kept exclaiming over and over again, "Amazing, amazing!" It made me laugh very hard, but he was a lovely guy.

34.) ​​​​​​​From jessalves:

That people don’t care at all with the clothes or my overall appearance (weight, hair, etc).

In Brazil I always get comments (good or bad) about how I look. Mainly from friends or family but it’s common to always talk about it.

When I moved to Australia I made friends, and never got a comment about any of these things. It was a big relieve to find out that I can be myself and not worry about the tons of comments about something that doesn’t matter at all.. :)

35.) ​​​​​​​From c_apias:

There wasn't too much of a disparity between what I knew and what was directly spoken to me compared to what was portrayed in media regarding the United States. However, the biggest and most glaringly obvious difference was how easy and common a thing it would be to have someone of another ethnic or racial background within arms reach. My younger self, being more accustomed and familiar with brown skin, walking around Miami International and seeing so many beautiful and 'new' tones of skin was shook.

When loved ones pass away we tend to valorize the good memories as a way of keeping them alive. But sometimes, the aftermath of death reveals indisputable secrets they've been keeping - running the gamut from deeply wholesome to terrifying.

While most of us have a few secrets we keep to ourselves, there's a huge difference between a secret hobby and a secret family, and finding out key information about a loved one after they're gone can be confounding. But for some, there can be a sense of closure from knowing the full truth of their loved one.

In a popular Reddit thread, people shared the secrets they learned about relatives after they passed away, and it'll inspire you to delete your browser history ASAP.

1. 2020_A_Chad_Odyssey never knew their grandma drank.

My grandmother was a drinker the whole time I knew her. She died when I was 10 of cirrhosis. My grandparents would babysit us during summer vacation and she'd always tell us to get in the car because we're going to Timbuktu! We never ended up getting out of the car, but Timbuktu apparently had bars on the windows and neon signs in them.

Her mixer of choice was 7-Up and she'd put the vodka in the cans and just leave them in the fridge. For years I thought pop went really bad once you put it open in the fridge, and also it would make you feel funny if you had a couple sips. By the time I was in high school I realized what she did that whole time. Timbuktu was the liquor store, the 7-Up was spiked, she drank herself to death.

When I was in my 20s I was going through some boxes at my parents' house and I found one of those Alcoholics Anonymous books. I thought it was strange since my parents didn't drink, nevermind need AA. I opened it and all these people had signed it with various messages. "You're so strong Joy, one day at a time," etc.

No clue what year it was from but she apparently was in AA at one time, but relapsed and never got sober again.

2. gunbunnycb has a suspicion their grandma ordered a hit.

Great grandmother passed away, we found a letter from her brother written in the 1930's.

The letter is cryptic, but hints to the fact that Arthur was "disposed of" and shouldn't be an issue.

Arthur would be my great grand father who left to Chicago for a job and was never heard from again.

3. cwade84's grandma held a grudge and misrepresented it.

My grandmother swore up and down about how nasty her daughter-in-law (my aunt) was. Turns out right after THE fight those two had my aunt sent a very heart felt apology letter and tried for years to make up for it. My grandmother "hated" her for never apologizing. My grandmother kept this apology in her purse with her passport, green card, social security card...important shit that means something to her. She didn't want us to see the apology. The letter was 20 years old and both people are dead. It's so sad to see people die so bitter.

4. DarthSanity got a fun surprise.

Growing up, me and my brother and sister had a legacy from our great-grandma that was going to go to college. 10 years later my parents split up, and for the rest of our lives we heard how awful our dad was for losing our legacy in the stock market and that we should make him pay it back.

Mom died in 2013, and we had to go through all her stuff. She had a collection of journals detailing all her struggles and coping - the thing that struck me was how infrequent we children were mentioned, and usually it was to complain about some slight.

But in one set of journals we found financial records of our legacy - and saw that her second husband had “borrowed” every cent, then left mom high and dry.

“Surprise, motherf****r!”

5. Benkei929045's dad wanted the marriage to work.

My dad tried really hard to make things work with my mom.

Found a stash of letters and other documents related to their divorce. Found a very heartfelt letter pleading with my mom to try to talk things out and do what’s best for the kids. As far as the divorce, he basically let her take everything. Mom always made it seem like he just gave up on us. Turns out she gave up on him and he was trying really hard to make things work. He just did it behind the scenes to not stress out my brother and I.

6. illogicalfuturity's uncle had a secret family.

I had an uncle that died, he lived by himself and everyone thought he was just a curmudgeon. He left everything he had to a 20 something man and only left $5 each to his ex and kids. I then found a paper showing that my uncle was not the father of his and his wife's 6 children.

The funeral was fun as in the wife and kids fought with everyone to get my uncle's stuff. The man he gave everything to was his son with a woman he met long ago, after all his kids were born.

The wife and her kids wanted his land so they could sell it for millions.

7. liltastypuff's grandma did good in secret.

My grandma saved a few (three that we found out about) people from homelessness. She never said a word to anyone.

8. The_Crig's grandpa faked his age.

After my grandad died, my Grandmother and my dad went through his stuff and found his birth certificate. Turns out he was 10 years older than he claimed. Nobody knew. They reckon he did it so he could join the army during WW2.

9. cheesy80s's dad set things up until the very end.

My dad had a post office box no one knew about. When I discovered it, my mind went immediately to the worst. He had a credit card that my mom didn't know about. When I asked her about it, she looked at the charges and realized that in the months before he died, she was getting worried about finances, so he took out another credit card so they could have dinners out without her seeing them added to their official credit card bill and overly worry.

That was just like my dad. Also, quite literally a week before he died (unexpectedly), my dad paid for some program where if he passed away, the mortgage would be entirely paid for.

10. Weird-and-Proud's grandpa left a grenade behind.

My grandfather kept a grenade from WWII. He had it hidden in an old beat up footlocker. The pin had started to erode so only small portions of it were in the hole. I remember accidentally dropping the trunk down the stairs when we moved him out of my aunt's house and into his retirement home.

He kept the trunk with him all ten years he was in the home. He must have moved rooms at least a dozen times. Then we lugged the trunk to my parent's house to clean it out after he died. That 60+ year old unstable explosive was jostled around so many times, it's a f*cking miracle it didn't self detonate. We ended up calling the police to have them safely remove it from the trunk for us. Thanks, Grandpa.

11. BubbleWrapGuy's grandma dated curly from the Three Stooges.

My great aunt dated Curly from the Three Stooges. She had mentioned it to me once because I was wearing a shirt with his face on it. Everyone laughed and brushed it off due to her dementia. Cleaning out her house we found a picture of them together tucked inside of a book.

EDIT: I've got a message to my dad, and he's asking around for the picture. He seems to think my Aunt J has it. She's really stingy about letting people see/scan photos - not sure why - but worst case scenario I drive 2 hours to visit her and take a picture of it.

12. steerbell's aunt had a drawer of love letters.

My aunt passed away and I found a folder in a drawer next to her bed. It was all the love letters and Valentine's cards my uncle gave her for over fifty years.

I am not a sentimental dude but damn.

13. MyBroPoohBear's grandmother was a sentimental sweetheart.

My grandmother kept every card or letter ever given to her. It was so sweet to go through them and recognize a card I gave her when I was a kid.

The coolest thing was finding the letter my uncle wrote to her explaining that he was gay, and diagnosed with HIV. He had been to visit her the month prior and just didn't tell her. My grandma was very hard of hearing so telling her on the phone wasn't an option. My aunt and uncle took her the letter and offered to answer an questions she had. My Irish Catholic grandmother don't said, "He's my son and I love him. That's all that's ever mattered." Reading the letter and hearing that story made me love that woman so much more than I already did.

14. Tater5105's step dad left one final message.

A couple days after my step dad was killed suddenly (hit by person who ran a red light) my mom was very upset that she couldn’t figure out how to recover this voicemail from him she deleted accidentally. (He sent it a week or so prior while she was alone visiting us in another state).

My wife was able to recover the voicemail somehow and it was amazing. It was basically like a goodbye for us. All it was was him talking about how much he loves and misses all of us including my kids. Other than the initial call, I hadn’t broke down yet and I lost it after that one. World lost a great man.

15. platypuseggnog's grandparents had quite the love arc.

That my great grandparents married, divorced, then married again, then divorced again! There was rumored to be a third marriage and divorce between them too but we only found the paperwork for the first two. They were born late 1800s and both died in the 1980s. What was so funny was that in the files the divorce papers were next to the marriage certificates telling us a very quick visual story.

Other cool things we found: teeth (about 10 total my grandfather was a dentist so they could have belonged to anyone really), a lock of hair from my grandfathers sister who died at age 3 from pneumonia, 14 boxes of band aids, and a social security card for a relative born in 1900.

16. dearevanhanson's grandma just wanted that real, good love.

I found a lot of poems that my grandmother wrote about how unhappy she was in her marriage and how she just wanted to feel loved again... :/

17. Crash-Bash's great grandma could've been a Real Housewife.

My great grandma had a millionaire tryna wife her up but she went after a broke ass dude instead.

18. dos-stinko-uno-pinko's dad had a lot going on.

This is a doozy. I found out my dad had families all over the U.S. and two in foreign countries.

I have dozens of half siblings, and have developed relationships with some of them.

Some knew nothing about dad, so I’ve gotten to tell stories about him over the years. I feel bad for the younger kids, they never spent any time with him, and while this is a totally sh*tty thing to do, he was a good dad to me, and I hate that some of my siblings didn’t get to know him like that.

19. SpongeJake's mom had a lot of hidden money.

My mom managed to stash something like $30K all around the house. To this day I still wonder if any of the things we ultimately got rid of maybe had some money hidden in them somewhere.

20. Poshpoder113's uncle knew how to party down.

My great uncle was gay- and a party animal.

“What's Galentine's Day? Oh, it's only the best day of the year,”

- Leslie Knope

Happy Galentine's Day, ladies. It's the best holiday ever because it celebrates what's really important in life, girlfriends. Oh and chocolate, lots of it. Share these Galentine's Day memes with your besties and let them know how much you love really love them.

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Hiding behind their usernames, men on Reddit felt the freedom to get vulnerable and share their feelings about the romantic gestures from their loved ones.

Take notes: It's not too late to make your man a bacon rose bouquet.

1. FireButchJones wasn't afraid to cry.

My girlfriend made me a comic book of us and all of our adventures.

Yes I cried.

2. whenfortniteislife's story takes a turn.

ex-girlfriend secretly had been meeting up with my mom for a couple weeks so that she could learn to cook my favourite dish exactly like her, and so on our trip to france for a weekend (that was my gift) she made the dish and it was spot on. so amazing.

shame she developed money problems a few months later and started trying to take out a bunch of loans and credit cards using my parents address or she would have been a keeper for sure!

3. Raininglemur is the better gift-giver in that relationship.

I got a steak, bourbon, a jump rope, and a bag of Doritos.

I gave her a "sexy/naughty" calendar of me doing household chores wearing only an apron, a week of nightly foot rubs, I made her cinnamon rolls from scratch, and I hid 50 Ferrero Rocher around the house.

4. CptnNayNay got a good gift for his good deed.

A new video game I really wanted at the the time. I chose not to buy it so I could spend the money on her, and she surprised me with it after we had a Valentine's day dinner.

5. Original_Dinwiddie got the gift of freedom.

Wife told me that she hates Valentines Day and that she never wants to celebrate it. Best. Present. Ever!

6. ki11bunny is grateful for the proof that somebody listens.

Socks and boxers cause no one got me any for Xmas and my gf thought I was joking about wanting them for Xmas.

7. ThePancakeChair with a reminder that CDs exist.

8 years ago, the girl I was dating gave me a CD with a playlist of songs she picked out that were meaningful to her - some about our relationship, some just for fun, some because of other events in her life, and even the first song we danced to together. Along with it she had a note with just a sentence or two describing what each song meant to her. It was the most meaningful and appreciated gift I've ever received in any relationship, because it meant so much to me that she opened herself up like that and I could better understand her and share those feelings with her.

We broke up a few months later for various reasons (including distance problems), and it was a break up that took me 2 years to get over, but I've kept that CD and through the breakup it became something that means more to me about myself than about her. I still listen to it often, including over this last week. It remains the most special gift I've ever received from a love interest.

Crud, now I'm going to be sad today.

8. Follow cbarnes15's girlfriend to the letter.

A letter telling me all that she loves about me and how I treat her. It was the best. Her birthday was a couple of days after so it was very hard making her feel loved and appreciated like I felt when I gave her a sh*tty Valentine's gift.

The second best has to be nothing (different partner). Literal nothing. I bought her some of her favorite candy. But it was great because it really showed how our relationship was and I knew she wasn’t the right one for me and I wasn’t the one for her. She dumped me a couple days later. Couldn’t say I was surprised.

9. Brighter_Lighter knows that friendship is important, too.

I was in college (22M). I a girl I had known since high school had a crush on me and I could tell. She was a student at the same university and we would occasionally meet our group of friends for lunch. This little gathering had gone on for several semesters and we all knew each other quite well. This girl had a really rough life and a learning disability that prevented her from reading social situations and advancing in her studies. I had been trough an incredibly difficult break up the previous semester and was looking at a lonely Valentine's day. I am not sure if she was told by a mutual friend or if she took her own initiative but she got me a little sucker bouquet in a coffee mug for me. I have a really bad sweet tooth and am a coffee addict so this was the perfect gift. We ended up getting lunch just the two of us and had a great time. I will always remember how much fun I had.

10. The dude with the username PM_SmallButtsorBoobs had a very devoted girlfriend.

A girl I dated led me around a scavenger hunt that had my favorite snacks and candies scattered around my apartment complex. By the time I got back around to my place, she was waiting for me on my bed with more snacks. It was pretty great

11. Pity gifts are still gifts, AuthorSAHunt.

... The only Valentine's Day gift I ever got was an anonymous rose in high school from some girl that felt bad for me. When I found out who it was and tried to thank her for it, she said she shouldn't have done it.

12. angry-nomad got the gift of peace.

One year I forgot to get my wife anything. I didn't buy anything, didn't make dinner reservations, nothing. And she didn't even complain. She just said, "it's fine, we're both busy". Best present ever.

13. ken_jammin found his Princess Peach.

A Switch, because I got to play Mario.

My GF isn’t even into gaming she’s just super supportive of my hobbies and I love her.

14. nackavich got flowers he could eat.

One of my ex's once baked me a bouquet of Bacon roses.

15. Congrats, egus.

Blow job. Because we're married and those don't happen anymore as was foretold in the prophecy.

16. HelloBucklebell's answer is very romantic and very specific.

Scrabble. In Russian. From the 80s.

It was amazing, but I never had anyone to play with.

In a court of law, defendants, plaintiffs and witnesses must swear on a Bible to tell "the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth," so help them God (why yes I have watched Law & Order). But, if you can believe it, a lot of people seem to have trouble keeping this oath. Especially the part about "the whole truth." Even lawyers don't always get the truth, or the whole truth, from their clients, which can make it really difficult—or impossible—for them to do their jobs.

Someone asked lawyers of Reddit: "what is a detail that your client failed to bring up to you that completely lost you the case?" These 23 stories show what happened to clients who lied or omitted the truth to their lawyers (spoiler: it did not go well).

1.) From scott1327:

Friend of mine is a defense attorney. He was representing a guy with a lengthy record for assault. Basically this guy took an A/C unit and threw it at his girlfriend. My buddy tells me he was able to get a plea deal for 1 year probation no jail time. The judge is all ready to accept the deal when he asks the defendant if he had anything he would like to say. The defendant responds,” yea I don’t know why they charging me with assault I never touched her. I just threw and A/C at her. This is bullshit.” Judge rescinded plea deal because of defendants attitude/lack of remorse, went to trial and got a year in jail.

2.) From LegalDuchess:

That he filmed his offences for his youtube channel. The cops didn't even know, a witness brought it up on day three of a trial. It was a nice quick change of plea that afternoon.

3.) From BearyPotter:

Guy in prison hired me to request a modification of his sentence because he was doing very well, completing a lot of optional programs, no rule violations, etc. He had his family come in and pay and everything to get started. I asked the family and the client if he had requested modification before, because the law said that for his conviction, he could only request modification twice for any one sentence, regardless of if they were granted or denied. Swore up and down he'd never filed before. You can see where this is going. After spending a few hours going over records and preparing documents, a copy of the CCS (the case record basically) finally arrived. He'd personally filed for modification SIX TIMES since he was sentenced with handwritten pleadings that were all denied. So the one he hired me for was a waste of time and would never be considered at all.

4.) From Crow_eggs:

Not my client, but the son of the opposing party (and presumably the party himself) lied about being blind to make himself seem more sympathetic as a witness. We didn't know either until he took the witness box, their counsel asked him to take the oath, and he picked the card up and read it.

That was the cherry on top of a series of ridiculous events. The judge dismissed the whole thing in our client's favor shortly after. I was a trainee at the time, but my boss, who was in her late sixties then, said it was the most ridiculous case she'd ever handled.

5.) From AbjectDisaster:

Case as a paralegal.

Negligence case, client argued that a lack of street lights and a cyclist he couldn't see was responsible for him hitting a wire pole.

Upon discovery, the first respondent's report indicated that they found the driver in the driver's seat, pants down, with porn playing on the phone.

Wasn't difficult to figure out who was negligent at that point.

6.) From Quaffle47:

I'm a public defender in an area with lots of meth use. Meth makes most people talk. A lot. So I can't tell you how many clients forget to mention that they got to the jail still high and called their mom/girlfriend/buddy on the recorded jail phone and not only confessed to the crime, but also brainstormed whatever alibi or version of events I'm relying on to defend them.

Edit: I'm seeing this question a lot, so I'll add some info here. This. Is. Not. Legal. Advice. Just explaining things a bit more. Calls to a lawyer are privileged, and generally go through dedicated lines that aren't recorded, depending on the facility. Calls to family, friends, etc through the normal phones are not privileged, are generally recorded, and can be used in court. There are usually printed signs near the phones and a recorded warning before each call that this is the case.

7.) From flyingthrghhconcrete:

I'm a court appointed attorney for qualifying individuals in family matters.

Termination of parental rights case. Have been fighting to argue that parent is stable, working lawfully, has a suitable apartment, doesn't need psychotropic meds anymore, ready to be a parent, etc. After a few months of negotiating with all the parties and Department of Children, Court services; we have a pre-trial to try and convince guardians.

I meet with my client before the hearing to see if anything changed. "nope, all good, let's get my kids". Great, that's not happening today, but let's try...

We get going in court. My client, who is super hot headed and quick to anger, gets riled up and goes off on the guardians. Screaming in open court. It doesn't end there, but reveals 1. that no longer is working; 2. no longer in apartment, 3. doesn't want to have a relationship with guardians despite her kids loving them, 4. won't send her kids pictures of the toys they miss and can't have; 5. plans on moving out of state 6. thinks they can live as a family off of state aide when she gets then back; AND is 4 months pregnant. All in the matter of 15 seconds, I was too shocked to even react. Speechless.

Not the image of stability and parental fitness I've been trying to paint since last July.

8.) From francisdavey:

"Now you put it that way, maybe I did hit the car". Simple is good.

9.) From Jugiboy:

I am actually a lawyer, but I was only watching this trial, not participating.

So the case was, that Woman A had hit Woman B in the head with a heavy beer pint at a bar, and Woman B got pretty serious injuries. The defense claimed that Woman A had not hit anyone with the pint, but instead had just thrown the pint into a random direction, and it happened to hit B in the head, thus it was an accident and not a battery. Well, the prosecution had a CCTV tape from the bar, and it was shown at the trial..

And the tape CLEARLY showed in HD as A walked behind B, and smashed the pint to her head so hard that the pint shattered on impact..

I looked at the defense lawyer and his jaw literally almost hit the table. The prosecutor also noticed this and asked something along: "Thrown, eh?" And the defense lawyer said that due to technical difficulties he couldn't get the CCTV tape open on his computer when he was reviewing the evidence. Woman A was found guilty.

So yeah, I was completely dumbfounded.

10.) From hankthetank2112:

Credit card theft/fraud case. When I was a young lawyer back in the late 80’s I was trying this guy on a cc case and the witness was the department store clerk. Before video surveillance the state relied heavily on witness identification. As she described the “customer” that was purchasing the very unique clothing her store sold I asked her how could she be so sure it was my client. She looked at my client who was wearing the most obnoxiously yellow shirt imaginable and said “because not only does he completely match the description I just gave you but he’s wearing the exact same shirt I sold him.” The jury convicted him and I learned that day to better prepare my clients for trial.

11.) From mortismalum:

My father is a Judge. I remember him talking about a case where a woman was suing for a severe back injury that she said was preventing her from working and taking care of her kids and so on. In the middle of the trial a pen rolled off the table and she is bending over trying to reach it from her chair, but pen was too far away, so she stands up and bends over and picks it up and goes back to her seat as if nothing is out of the ordinary. My dad is just looking at her and she snaps at my dad and goes what are you staring at? My dad asked her if she was okay and her response was that she was fine. Her attorney leaned over an said something to her and She then loudly started complaining about her back and how much her back hurt but no one believed her lol

12.) From rivlet:

Not me, but my mentor. This is the reason you never ask questions that you don't already know the answer to in court.

During the trial with the judge on a divorce matter, the wife brought up that he had abused her during the course of their marriage. Client whispers to my mentor that that is absolutely NOT true.

On the stand, during his portion of testimony, my mentor asks, "At any point in the marriage, did you lay your hands on your wife?"

"One time we were having an argument and I held her down on the couch until she stopped arguing with me."

What.

My mentor said it was like she could see it happening in slow motion and all the alarm bells were going off in her head because he had NEVER mentioned this and, apparently, to him, this was not abuse.

The judge gave wife a lot more money as a result and husband was baffled. My mentor was fuming.

ETA: Husband admitted this was the only time he had laid hands on wife. My mentor was more peeved because she had thought the case was in the bag since wife had abandoned the kids with husband to run off with her lover down in Florida and literally only came back to the state to get the divorce done. Husband had been noted as being a great dad to the kids and a good figure in the community. Hence why she was so damn shocked at his answer.

13.) From Quaffle47:

I'm a public defender in an area with lots of meth use. Meth makes most people talk. A lot. So I can't tell you how many clients forget to mention that they got to the jail still high and called their mom/girlfriend/buddy on the recorded jail phone and not only confessed to the crime, but also brainstormed whatever alibi or version of events I'm relying on to defend them.

Edit: I'm seeing this question a lot, so I'll add some info here. This. Is. Not. Legal. Advice. Just explaining things a bit more. Calls to a lawyer are privileged, and generally go through dedicated lines that aren't recorded, depending on the facility. Calls to family, friends, etc through the normal phones are not privileged, are generally recorded, and can be used in court. There are usually printed signs near the phones and a recorded warning before each call that this is the case.

14.) From flyingthrghhconcrete:

I'm a court appointed attorney for qualifying individuals in family matters.

Termination of parental rights case. Have been fighting to argue that parent is stable, working lawfully, has a suitable apartment, doesn't need psychotropic meds anymore, ready to be a parent, etc. After a few months of negotiating with all the parties and Department of Children, Court services; we have a pre-trial to try and convince guardians.

I meet with my client before the hearing to see if anything changed. "nope, all good, let's get my kids". Great, that's not happening today, but let's try...

We get going in court. My client, who is super hot headed and quick to anger, gets riled up and goes off on the guardians. Screaming in open court. It doesn't end there, but reveals 1. that no longer is working; 2. no longer in apartment, 3. doesn't want to have a relationship with guardians despite her kids loving them, 4. won't send her kids pictures of the toys they miss and can't have; 5. plans on moving out of state 6. thinks they can live as a family off of state aide when she gets then back; AND is 4 months pregnant. All in the matter of 15 seconds, I was too shocked to even react. Speechless.

Not the image of stability and parental fitness I've been trying to paint since last July.

15.) From lawgirl3278:

This one ended my marriage (well, it was the start of the end of marriage)

My husband lost his job in the title/mortgage business. Applied for unemployment, got denied. I decide to help him with his appeal hearing. I asked him multiple times before the hearing “ Is there anything you did that caused them fire you?” He says no absolutely not they fired him out of nowhere.

Hearing day comes. He testifies under oath that he did nothing wrong, was a good employee, no issues. Upon cross examination, the other attorney pulls out documents from one of his real estate closings - documents he forged and back dated. Had to admit he perjured himself.

Needless to say he didn’t get unemployment and he didn’t sleep at home that night.

16.) From hankthetank2112:

Credit card theft/fraud case. When I was a young lawyer back in the late 80’s I was trying this guy on a cc case and the witness was the department store clerk. Before video surveillance the state relied heavily on witness identification. As she described the “customer” that was purchasing the very unique clothing her store sold I asked her how could she be so sure it was my client. She looked at my client who was wearing the most obnoxiously yellow shirt imaginable and said “because not only does he completely match the description I just gave you but he’s wearing the exact same shirt I sold him.” The jury convicted him and I learned that day to better prepare my clients for trial.

17.) From mortismalum:

My father is a Judge. I remember him talking about a case where a woman was suing for a severe back injury that she said was preventing her from working and taking care of her kids and so on. In the middle of the trial a pen rolled off the table and she is bending over trying to reach it from her chair, but pen was too far away, so she stands up and bends over and picks it up and goes back to her seat as if nothing is out of the ordinary. My dad is just looking at her and she snaps at my dad and goes what are you staring at? My dad asked her if she was okay and her response was that she was fine. Her attorney leaned over an said something to her and She then loudly started complaining about her back and how much her back hurt but no one believed her lol

18.) From rivlet:

Not me, but my mentor. This is the reason you never ask questions that you don't already know the answer to in court.

During the trial with the judge on a divorce matter, the wife brought up that he had abused her during the course of their marriage. Client whispers to my mentor that that is absolutely NOT true.

On the stand, during his portion of testimony, my mentor asks, "At any point in the marriage, did you lay your hands on your wife?"

"One time we were having an argument and I held her down on the couch until she stopped arguing with me."

What.

My mentor said it was like she could see it happening in slow motion and all the alarm bells were going off in her head because he had NEVER mentioned this and, apparently, to him, this was not abuse.

The judge gave wife a lot more money as a result and husband was baffled. My mentor was fuming.

ETA: Husband admitted this was the only time he had laid hands on wife. My mentor was more peeved because she had thought the case was in the bag since wife had abandoned the kids with husband to run off with her lover down in Florida and literally only came back to the state to get the divorce done. Husband had been noted as being a great dad to the kids and a good figure in the community. Hence why she was so damn shocked at his answer.

19.) From Isawablackcat:

Not a lawyer but a woman I know received several hefty speeding fines. In my country you can go see a magistrate to have the fines reduced if you plead poverty. She heard about this and decided to give it a shot, so she went to court and told the magistrate a sob-story about not having enough money.

The magistrate heard her out, then he asked her: "Madam, what type of car do you drive?"

She replied in a tiny voice, "A porsche."

20.) From Tytonidae7:

I’m still a law student and this happened during my first internship at a court: A girl among other people was charged with drug possession but because she had thrown away the drugs and the police couldn’t prove that she bought or owned the drugs (bc it could have been one of the other people as well who still had drugs on them). The judge ruled in dubio pro reo, he then asked if she wants to say/ add something and this girl asked if she can get HER drugs back. The defense attorney looked like he was about to get a heart attack.

Edit: For those wondering I know what in dubio pro reo means but I wasn’t sure if the use the term in other countries and tried to explain it if not. This happened in Germany.

21.) From drbusty:

I was actually on a jury. Guy was suing a business, said he got injured, couldn't work for 3 years. Defense council sir, isn't it true that you spent 18 of those months in prison for armed robbery?

Edit for more info: guy was saying he was shopping at a major grocery store chain and slipped in some water on the ground in front of a freezer. Guy has cell phone video his wife made of him in the water and we could hear her saying that the water wasn't showing up on video and to splash it with his hand so it would look better in the video...

It also came out that he'd had 3 prior convictions for 'crimes of dishonesty' (that may not be the exact term, but something similar) for things like shoplifting and other petty crimes.

Second edit for more info while I'm on my lunch break: guy was representing himself pro se .

Defense council asked him if his inability to work could be from the 2 previous knee injuries he'd had. When asked how they knew about those injuries he was told his previous lawyer had given the defense his medical records upon request.

Guy wanted to enter his MRIs as evidence, but had no one there as an expert witness to explain to the jury what they showed. He wanted to show us what the results were.

22.) From Percytude:

(UK) Not a lawyer as such, but a planning consultant. Client signed sworn affidavit stating he’d been running a truck park business for over 10 years on a piece of land. After 10 years the use becomes immune from legal action. The Council checked google maps and saw immediately he lied - had only ran the business for 7 years. He had committed a criminal offence by submitting a false sworn affidavit. Plonker.

23.) From Goat003:

I did some personal injury stuff before I went into teaching, this wasn’t my client, but rather the person trying to sue them for 7 figures.

I imagine his lawyers wouldn’t have been too pleased with the fact he failed to mention the two reality TV shows he’d been on since the accident. He was trying to claim 7 figures for a brain injury that supposedly ruined his life, yet half the country had watched him be perfectly fine on TV, and a quick google brought all that up to us.

Trial was supposed to last three days, we were done by that afternoon.

"Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile."

-Franklin P. Jones

You've found your bae, your heart is full. What could be better? You're lucky in love and in laughs thanks to these funny and sweet memes.

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"A happy man is too satisfied with the present to dwell too much on the future."

-Albert Einstein

This is your daily reminder to stay in the present moment and don't take things too seriously. This utterly random collection of memes will help you start your morning off with a laugh. It's going to be a good day.

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The emotional pressure placed on dates can make them supremely awkward. Even the most confident among us occasionally suffer from a case of foot-in-mouth, but the fall out from a dumb comment feels exponentially worse when it alienates someone you're attracted to.

Take comfort though, even if you've botched a string of past dates with untactful banter, you are far from alone. There can be an immense comfort in knowing that other people across the world are also suffering humiliation because of momentary brain blips.

In a popular Reddit thread, people shared the dumbest things they've said on dates, and it's truly glorious how many people cock-block themselves.

1. OP kicked it off with their own gaffe.

Me and this girl (cousin of a friend from school) were on a date, I had just finished telling her a story about a dramatic event that happened to me when i was younger.

She said "wow, that's how serial killers are made.

"A very dumb comment but I thought it opened up the door for me to say "how do you know I'm not?!"

Apparently it didn't come off as light hearted as I thought.

The rest of the night was just downhill and awkward. The goodbye was "see ya."

I called her 2 days later and left a message, she never called back and I just left it alone.

2. Bendubendubendu brought up incest.

This was more just me hanging out with a girl I had been dating for a little while. We were talking and she brought up the fact that her biological father was a sperm donor. We had already talked about this before and I didn't really have anything particular to keep that conversation going besides "That really increases your chances of accidental incest, you know."

3. TherapistNinja accidentally made fun of a woman for self-harming.

When I was 17 a girl messaged me on myspace wanting to hang out. I though she was pretty cute so I agreed to meet her for some games at her place which her family joined in on.

She had on a shirt with really short sleeves revealing a few horizontal, parallel lines just below her shoulder. Wanting to make light conversation and being the "funny" guy that I am, I asked, "Where'd you get those cuts on your arms? Do you cut yourself?"

As soon as I finished cracking that "joke", my sheltered Utah childhood came crashing down around me as I realized that people actually did do that, and I'd just called one out right in front of her family.

4. ceaRshaf truly botched their compliment.

Wanting to compliment on my dates intelligence I said :

"I have met stupider girls than you, so you are really ok".

5. string97bean went there.

"So, your profile picture, was that your sister or something?"

6. Kanadier made it racist.

Wasn't on a date, but when I first met my girlfriend, I blurted out "you're really good-looking for a Filipina."

I still cringe remembering that.

7. Ignostic5 emotionally bombed in the time of Cholera.

Visiting Manhattan, watching a Rangers game in a bar by myself. Cute girl comes up and starts chatting with me, mentions that shes Dominican. I don't remember my exact words but I somehow brought up Cholera in the first 30 seconds and that was that.

8. CrackedMug brought up the stains in their bathroom.

First date and the lovely lady and I get the bright idea to go to a Russian themed Vodka Bar called Red Square. 30 bucks buys like a craft of infused vodka and a plate of sliced pickles, anyway it was going well and were definitely invading each other's personal space . I'm getting lushed and sloshed and start to realize that in the marathon that is a night of intense drinking I was sprinting out of the gates and fading fast.

"You know I just cleaned my bathroom for the first time in like 3 months, the piss stains on that toilet were formidable.... so it's clean now... if you wanted to comeover the and you had to use the bathroom it'd be clean now... my bathroom is clean." In the ensuing awkward pause she scooted about 6 inches away from me, and it was a 6 inches I would never recover.

9. DynamicImpulses professed the wrong kind of appreciation.

It wasn't a date per se, but very early on in my relationship with my ex we were on the train from CT to NY and sitting across the aisle from us was a young woman with an adorable puppy. After my ex let out an audible "aww," I somehow managed to say "I love fucking dogs" instead of "I fucking love dogs."

His response was "Do I need to hold you back?" -_-

10. JimmyBojangles1 made the breakup even more painful for themselves.

I was at my ex-girlfriend's house and she broke up with me.

I pretty much begged, and while begging, used a phrase that will haunt my manhood and the manhood of every man in existence. I used a phrase that should only be used for the most manly of times.

"Put me back in the game coach!"

I've since grown bigger balls.

11. Highlet really killed the vibe.

Early on with my now ex. We're fooling around. She liked to talk dirty. She's really good at it (or maybe I'm just really easy). Anyways, each time she says something I feel the need to respond (it got her going). This has been going for awhile and honestly, I'm running out of ideas fast. Only enough blood to run 1 organ at a time ladies.

Long story short, she goes "I want you inside me." and me fumbling around trying to quickly think of something to push this perfect moment over the edge attempted to say something along the lines "I want to be inside you." (only sexier, ok not really) but instead it came out "I want your cock.".

Holy sh*t, I have never wanted to just die and fade from existence anymore in my entire life. She on the other hand pushes me back a bit off her stares into my eyes and laughs uncontrollably for oh I'd say a good 20-30 minutes. That pretty much ended my chances for that night and many to come.

12. LissieRae06 went on a date with a terrifying man.

This was said to me, but it fits.

Met a guy on vacation. Chatted online for a while, liked each other. Decided to have our first "real" date. While eating, guy told me a story about the time his father shoved a cat in a pillowcase and slammed it into the pavement "until it went r*tarded". Told him his story was horrible and to stop talking. He apologized. Tried to make me feel better by reassuring me that afterwards, his father bashed it's head in with a shovel.

13. kondichael unknowingly insulted her tattoos.

Was out with this girl once, she asked me what my opinion was towards tattoos. Said something like this: In my opinion its fine as long as its not barbed wire, tribal or names/dates.

She had her parents names tatooed on her arm, which I didnt notice till after I said it.

14. kingofvodka was too honest.

Technically the date had finished, and she'd invited me back to her place.

While in her room, we were slow dancing, solid, deep eye contact. I was going in for the kiss, she was deliberately teasing me by pulling away or brushing my lips with hers, had her fingers in my hair, i had my nails running down her back, the sexual tension was like electricity in the air.

She leans forward, kisses my neck and whispers in my ear "Have you ever had to work this hard before?"

"Yes"

15. rr1252 quickly left the party.

More of a comment to a girl at a party. I walked out to the patio where she was sitting on the floor. I have big clumsy feet, so naturally I kicked over her drink and spilt it all over her crotch on accident. She says, "aw you got me all wet!". I reply, "I just met you and I got you all wet already?". She then points to a man in the corner and says, "umm, yeah that's my boyfriend over there". I laughed at my own joke. No one else laughed. I showed myself out.

16. TheBalance tried to riff with a Nuva ring.

This is something I said and did, but it definitely fits the theme.

So I met a girl, went on a date, everything was pretty standard. I got wayyyy too drunk, but somehow charmed this girl into bed. We were getting down to business when I felt that she had a Nuva ring, which I then proceeded to pull out of her and throw onto my erection while saying "throw the ring, win a prize" like some sort of carnival game guy. Needless to say, she was immediately turned off. We didn't end up completing the deed, she kicked me out, and we never spoke again.

TLDR: Don't pretend to play carnival games with birth control devices.

17. lacktoes roasted her outfit without realizing it.

When I was 16 I was on a date and in an attempt to be funny (because you know, girls like funny guys) I racked my brain trying to come up with a funny story.

The first thing to popup in my mind was a story a friend had once told me, about a jacket he had seen one of his girl friends wearing. The brand was Identity, and the name was displayed centered on the front of the jacket, with the zip splitting the word in half. Iden | tity. Now, to a 16 year old guy's mind, that is hilarious. A girl walking around with the word "tity", basically labeling her tity's? pftfchch

So I told the story and started laughing! She looks up at me with a completely numb face, and then looks down at her jacket.

This was 2 hours or so into the date. I hadn't noticed that she was wearing the exact jacket I was making fun of.

Yeah.

18. brumbrum21 deflected the compliment a little too hard.

After a night out with this girl I've been courting, we went back to my place and started fooling around. we got into my room where she knelt down and began to take my pants off. once I was naked she said "wow you're really big" . Trying to be humble, I responded "nah, I've seen bigger"

It was very awkward.

19. carrot_soup received the creepiest compliment.

A guy told me he associated red hair with incest because he came from a small town where it was apparently impossible for the ginger kids to avoid sleeping with a cousin or two.

Right after he had complimented my very ginger hair.

Super smooth.

20. Penny_Lane11 trotted out the smoothest compliment.

I was on a first date with a guy I really liked. Everything was going great, and we ended up making out on the couch. I pulled away for a moment to say something sweet, but all that came out was, "You smell..like laundry detergent."

Valentine's Day traditions weren't always conversation hearts, heart-shaped surprise chocolate boxes and fighting for dinner reservations.

The tradition of sending your sweetheart a Valentine's Day card really took off in the 19th century with the boom of inexpensive and reliable postage stamps. Postage stamps even allowed senders to take the Valentine's Day game to the next level and send love letters anonymously.

Turns out, we might have gotten slightly more sensitive over the years as our cards have evolved from Victorian-era passive aggressive roasts to pink, heart-covered sentimental poems. A Victorian studies PhD student, Rosie White, shared a hilarious thread on Twitter in honor of Valentine's day that will definitely make you happy you are living in 2020.

Don't want to be called an old hag if you're over 19-years-old? Don't got back to the Victorian era.

Of course, some were beautifully designed, ornately crafted and sentimental.

However, some of them were definitely not.

Making the recipient pay for the card? The original collect call!

Now, go get your special someone a card and Happy Valentine's Day!

Thank you, Rosie White for this history lesson! Follow her on Twitter @rosalindmwhite.

The only thing more upsetting than not being on the receiving end of any grand romantic gestures is being subjected to a cringey one.

People on Reddit shared stories about the moves their significant others made that were intended to be romantic...but did not go as planned.

1. Literally, Trychtopus.

He used to think that whispering sweet nothings into my ear meant literally whispering the phrase, "sweet nothings." Took me about a year before I couldn't keep a straight face anymore.

2. We all scream for ice cream, Nazenaze.

Had an ex who thought that it would be hot to surprise me by getting Hershey's syrup, whipped cream, and a banana to make a sundae IN HERSELF.

Do you want yeast infections?...because that's how you get yeast infections.

She got a yeast infection.

3. poopants2 comes in third.

During an encounter of a sexual nature with a girl I was seeing at the time she whispers "you’ve got the 3rd biggest penis of a man I have ever been with" forget gold reddit go for bronze

gold get in there! Sometimes good guys do finish first.. . or not at all

4. gypsyscot is a good editor.

My girlfriend when I was 16 tried to give me a lap dance while I was editing her English paper. She threw her head back and broke my nose. At 16 that was still kinda hot.

5. Tcraw487 dated a vampire.

After a long week of exams, I came home to take a nap before we went out for the weekend. My ex lied to my roommates to get a key to the place and proceeded to watch me sleep for 4 hours to make sure I wasn't "disturbed."

6. eyesonherhorizon got too close to her mother-in-law.

For Valentine's Day one year my ex-husband got me a full body massage...with his massage therapist mother.

One hour of straight cringing.

7. the_dayman got a zoo.

Bought me one praying mantis egg because she thought it would contain one praying mantis. It hatched in my room and there were like 500 babies eating each other and crawling everywhere, since they were small enough to fit through the vents in the bug cage.

8. He could have at least tried Photoshop, Totesmcgotes702.

He gave me a picture of "him", it was an old pic of him and his ex cut in half. He cut it right in front of me and put the other half back in his drawer..

9. VandyGirl has good instincts.

My now-husband, after a night of drinking in college, decided he would sneak into my dorm room (I had to work the following morning) and kiss me awake and we'd have some sexytime.

He completely overestimated the level of suaveness he could pull off while plastered. He makes it through the door without me hearing, but I wake up to a naked dude crawling up my body from the bottom of my twin bed. I screamed and shoved - as one should in such a scenario - and he ended up on the floor, where he very nearly passed out.

About this time, I realized who it was, got his naked butt up off the floor, closed the door after assuring my sleepy neighbor that he was fine, and shoved him into my bed. I got into bed, and he attempted to crawl on top of me, mumbling something about how sexy I was in the middle of the night. It took two "Go to SLEEP, [VandyBoy]"s before he finally rolled over and passed out.

He had no idea the next day how he'd ended up in my bed.

10. Samipearl19 dated a dog?

Went over every inch of my face like a blind man reading Braille. Something about being able to better remember me later....

And instead of kissing me on the cheek or forehead, he would kiss under my chin, like, directly beneath my tongue...because "it was a space no one else had ever kissed" or something.

Took me 2 years to realize how damn crazy he was.

11. Munsonise boyfriend was no Magic Mike.

When we were 16 my boyfriend tried to give me a lap dance and tried to swing his leg over my head. He's not the most flexible person so he ended roundhouse kicking me in the face and making me cry.

12. Vini vidi veci, ihaveasthmar.

My ex girlfriend got turned on by the romance languages and heavy accents. Luckily for her, I took 4 years of Latin in middle and high school. Unfortunately it's not really a speakable language, however I memorized a few things for class assignments.

I seductively whispered the pledge of allegiance and the opening paragraph of the Caesar's Gallic Wars in her ears more times than I can remember.

13. Big yikes, RubberDuckF*ck.

She wrote "I love you" on a piece of paper.. with her blood

14. mickey5499 was totally bugging.

A guy I went out on a total of one date with. We were at Burger King (yes, I know, how romantic to begin with), when he saw a fly on the window next to our table. In a display of his big strong manly man-ness, he used his bare hand and smashed it against the window. Upon seeing me disgusted, he decided that, to make it better, he would just smear the guts into a heart shape on the window glass. How truly touching.

Most of the time the messages that accompany flowers are straight-forward professions of love, condolences for a loss, or congratulations for an achievement.

Luckily, not everyone sticks with the predictable or formal expressions of love. The messages that travel alongside floral arrangements are customizable, which means you can get as dirty, weird, or specific as your heart desires. The only hurdle is convincing the florist that you're 100 percent sure about the message you want to send.

In a popular Reddit thread, florists shared the weirdest and most specific notes they were instructed to send, and the thread serves as a great reminder that flowers can send vastly different messages.

1. twisted42 had a NSFW one.

Love and Kisses on all of your pink parts...

2. maumacd's mom's well wishes backfired multiple times.

My mom once sent me flowers with a card that said "Hope this isn't the nail in the coffin."

Why you might ask? Because even though my mom ordered a bouquet with NO ROSES, the last time, There were roses in the bouquet. I'm allergic to roses. Turns out the next bouquet still had roses. Both were supposed to be get well soon flowers after a series of surgeries I was having.

The second time she called to complain because her order said on it NO ROSES, but the place essentially said they did substitutions (because the bouquet she picked had like some super seasonal flower) at their discretion, and she could eat it. She did a yelp review and they changed their tune... by sending a new bouquet to me, OF FUCKING ROSES. After that we just had to laugh. I mean, I get the roses are expensive and that's what most people want, but really? REALLY?

3. susinpgh's mother's wishes made the funeral home feel weird.

I sent an arrangement to the funeral home for my mum with a banner that said Bon Voyage. As mum had gotten closer to passing, she would always refer to it as going on her cruise. I was teasing her one day and told her that I was going to put that banner on her arrangement. She totally went with it and made me promise that I would.

The florist was just all kinds of frowny. So were some of the visitors to the funeral home. Too bad for them.

4. TargaryenBastard saw one that got to the heart of it.

"I didn't mean what I said about your sister. You're much prettier."

5. ohlalameow's fiance made the florist do a double take.

Last year on our anniversary, my fiancé sent me flowers with a card that said "I love you, turd hammer!" He said the florist asked him twice if he was sure he wanted to say that.

6. partmyk had a customer who royally screwed up.

I'm a part time florist. Never got anything too crazy, but I remember there was this one guy who called and ordered a $100 bouquet to be delivered as soon as possible. The card? "I'm SO SORRY. You're my everything - it'll never happen again. I can't imagine life without you. I love you."

He called every half hour for the next few hours to tell us he hadn't heard back from her yet and that we must've delivered it to the wrong person.

Sorry guy, you f*cked up.

7. PeaShootP actually wishes people were more creative.

Used to work as a florist...once had to write "I'm sorry. I'm really REALLY sorry". Couldn't get more creative buddy? Or were you just relying on the 3 dozen roses you sent?

8. autumnx isn't sure what the other person was going for.

Can I just tell a card that I got even though I'm not a florist? It's one for the books.

"I can't wait to see your face light up when you get these". They were left on my doorstep. Not given to me by whoever sent them.

9. Pinga_in_my_Taco majorly cringed.

Worked with a girl who got flowers from her boss which card read "Tulips for your Two Lips" .

10. bullshit-careers arranged a Shakespearean bouquet.

I was a florist for a flower company and we got an order from this guy who stressed we send it to his girlfriend on this exact day because he was on vacation. He ordered a dozen roses in a nice flower pot with this message:

"Hey honey I am having fun here. But I must confess I am not working I am f*cking a hooker I bought with our joint account. All my valuables has been moved out by me personally before I left but you probably didn't notice because you've been too busy f*cking Devon from work".

11. tsim12345 loves their husband and The Office.

My husband and I are big fans of the office. One time he sent me an edible arrangement on my birthday with a card that read:

"It is your birthday."

I think the person who typed that up probably had a laugh or thought my husband was a dick. I loved it though.

12. hesunderthebed sent some prank bouquets.

I sent a bunch today with the card reading, stay with your fiance, he's a better man than me. The florist actually rang me and told me he laughed at it. I didn't think it was my best work but least I can make someone laugh.

13. aReallyGayHobo knows firsthand that romance isn't dead.

"I wanna f*ck you senseless til we both can't walk right for a week."

14. AppleAppleFapple enjoyed the shame.

"Sorry your butt fell out"

He seemed sorry when he came and picked up the flowers.

15. m0nicat_ appreciated the candor.

I work in a bakery and was once asked to write on a cake "happy birthday you sexy b*tch."

16. ReferencesCartoons will never forget the Spongebob bouquet.

"Happy Leif Erikson Day! YURDER HINGUR DINDER"

17. Chiropteran113 arranged flowers for a very horny Sex and the City fan.

Finally! I get to tell this story! I used to work for 1800 flowers and there was this one guy who used to send super expensive arrangements to this girl every week. He always signed them 'from Big'. One week he ordered her a houseplant. A peace lily, which is usually used as a funeral plant.

But the card message said "This isn't just a plant... this is a dirty plant. This plant wants to rip off you clothes and paint you with its tongue. This plant wants to feel you hot, wet and wrapped around it... oh wait, that's me. Love, Big" I feel so weird about peace lilies now... There was also a card message that must have been some sort of code cause it just had a bunch of random words like 'Apple Ferret Bannana etc'.

18. krazkitteh's teacher got a floral intervention.

My biology teacher got a flower arrangement once that said something along the lines of "Stop dating douches."

19. FunnyMuffler lived The Wire.

This young looking kid came in for a funeral of his friend who killed himself in prison. He asked me to make an arrangement look like these sh*tty buildings where there's a bunch of crack dealers.

20. bookelly's coworker met their wife in the most rom com way.

I worked at a Florist on and off in high school. This is a great story of how my co-worker met his wife:

So this really rich guy takes out this cute girl and decides that he is really gonna impress her. He calls up my shop and explains that he wants a really expensive bouquet delivered every day for two week to her house and/or work. So my co-worker starts delivering these flowers every day...and she's obviously happy. Really happy. They start chatting up and by the 10th day, she pulls him into her house and f*cks his brains out. They were married a year later.

Moral of the story: don't pay to have some other guy deliver your crush flowers.

20.