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Chrissy Teigen shared the many ways people criticize her parenting and moms are sharing their stories.

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It's nearly impossible to navigate the abyss of the internet as a parent without coming across at least a few mom-shamers. Whether it's your pesky sister-in-law with opinions about car seats, a distant aunt who has strong feelings about how children should dress, or complete strangers who take joy in waving around their superiority complex, the internet is rife with nosy concern trolls.

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I love u buttface

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Few women in the public eye face a constant barrage of mom-shamers and trolls quite like Chrissy Teigen. Regardless of whether she's making jokes or posting a family photo, there is without a doubt, a chorus of disapproving commenters lecturing Teigen on why she's failing at motherhood.

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Just finding old videos of baby toons!

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During a recent appearance on the Today show, Teigen opened up about the constant stream of naysayers, and shared the topic that often brings the most ire is the food she makes for her kids. A lot of vegetarians and vegans have popped into her mentions to accuse her of forcing meat on her young children, instead of letting them make their own food decisions.

"It's pretty much everything. Any time I post a picture of them holding ribs or eating sausage, I get a lot of criticism. Vegans and vegetarians are mad and feel that we forcing meat upon them at a young age. They freak out."

Teigen went on to share the other top subjects that incite parenting trolls on her page, which include any images of car seats and the fact that her family watches a lot of TV.

"If they get a glimpse of the car seat there is a lot of buckle talk. Maybe for one half of a second, the strap slipped down. And TV is another big one. We have TV on a lot in my house. John and I work on television; we love watching television."

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this face. every day it kills me.

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While dealing with trolls isn't an experience anyone should get used to, Teigen shared that she's grown a thicker skin over the years and feels she can compartmentalize a lot better out of necessity.

She also said her thick skin protects her against her own negative self-talk.

"When Luna was a little baby, I would get so sad. I remember being bummed out because I felt like she didn’t love me as much as she loved John. It was the dumbest silliest thing to worry about,. Now, when Miles pulls away from me, I’m not taking it the same way. I know how strong Luna and my bond is, and I know Miles and I will be there too. You can’t take anything personally."

While promoting her campaign with Pampers, Teigen shared she hopes other moms will find ways to have more grace for themselves as well.

A lot of moms have identified with the pressures Teigen shared both in her interview and the video.

Clearly, Teigen is not alone when it comes to struggling with self-doubt and criticism around motherhood, and sometimes the best pick-me-up is being reminded your feelings are valid.


22 people share the mean things exes said that they had no idea hurt their feelings.

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"If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it at all," but definitely don't say it to the person you're currently dating...

We all have at least one relationship where we look back and realize "wow, that person actually treated me like hot, wet garbage! They were objectively mean to me all the time! Cool!" Hindsight is a gift, but dating an evil demon nightmare builds character? Let's hope.

Of course, every once in awhile we all say something we regret, but insults and even subtle jabs from an ex can haunt us forever. When Twitter user, Tallie (@thomasjeferstan) asked the internet about the meanest things men have said to them, people everywhere we more than ready to share their unsolicited roasting trauma. Shout out to guy who told me "looks must not be that important" to me because if I just "lost 30 pounds" I could be famous. I'll never forget you!

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21 teachers share the secrets their students can never find out about.

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As Janis said in Mean Girls, Oh, "I love seeing teachers outside of school. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs."

Teachers shared how they spend their time after work (aka school), and it's not just spending hours and hours on Reddit. Some activities would definitely get them detention.

1. Don't be embarrassed if you accidentally call the_ouskull"dad."

I've hooked-up with some of their moms. I'm teaching in a small town where I also grew up. It happens. Still... I don't talk about it.

2. TheChurchIsHere dealt it.

Native English Teacher in a non-English speaking country here, teaching elementary age. I begin each class by saying, "Good morning, class," to which they respond, "Good morning, teacher." Sometimes, if I feel the energy level is low/response is mediocre, I will say louder, "Good morning, class!" This will usually elicit a "GOOD MORNING, TEACHERRRR!!!!"

What my students don't know is that sometimes I'll aim for them to repeat loudly so as to mask a wicked fart I need to let out.

3. ImDippinDude English teacher should have been a gym teacher.

We had a female English teacher that was a body-builder. She became a pornstar....no joke.

4. tygloalex has a lot in common with his students.

Teacher here. I'm 35 years old male, and I still play with Legos. In my storage closet at school, I have all the new Hobbit Legos. #thuglife

5. Apple_Bloople is a klutzy chemistry teacher.

I drop acid all the time.

6. amirahfusion gets physical.

Physics professor by day...professional bellydancer by night. Their brains would explode.

7. tomorrow_may_rain is a character on Cheers.

I left teaching a few years ago but I would never have wanted my third graders to know I did most of my grading at the local pub and shared the most ridiculous assignments with the regulars.

8. UncleNad is chill.

Grow copious amount of Mary Jane

9. Spartannia is a godless heathen.

I teach in a very conservative area. Can't let the students know that I'm an atheist or that I drink like a fish on the weekends.

10. brandoninpdx in the house!

Friend if mine is a DJ for all the main clubs in the area, I'm sure most of his students are too wasted to even realize he is playing the music they drink to.

11. Alisha33 is cancelled.

After school program teacher here

Im an atheist teacher at a Catholic school. The principal knew when she hired me and doesn't mind and a few teachers I work closely with know as well. If the students or their parents ever found out they would demand that I not be allowed to teach there anymore. I show lots of science and mythology videos.

12. Moosh1010 should recycle.

primary school teacher here - sometimes i file their (busy) work in my other filing cabinet - the rubbish bin.

13. Skidamarinky does not have the connections.

That I do not have a direct line to Santa, the Easter Bunny or any other gift giving entity.

14. latinagringa2121 wakes and bakes.

I smoke weed daily, often right as soon as I wake up to get ready for work. I take recreational drugs on a regular basis as well.

15. Did username1213 fulfill the fantasy?

I'm not a teacher, but I did find one of my teachers on Grindr once...

16. Meet A_Risky_Click, your new stepdad.

I let my students off the hook. All the time. I have no interest in busting a kid for swearing, etc. as long as they weren't being disrespectful to me in the first place.
Far too many teachers are just there to create obedient little automatons (much like they are themselves). Now, keep in mind if I see a kid doing something dickish, even if it's small, I'll go out of my way to set them straight. I'm there to create genuine, empathetic and independent individuals and I think this means the ability to make some mistakes along the way.

I write down the stuff kids say, b/c it's often hilarious and I'd like to write a book on it one day.

The other day, for instance, I'm in a grade 1 class and the student says to me 'You look exactly like the guy that sleeps with my mom'.

17. That's what Sims are for, dietchola.

My second grade teacher told me, when I started high school, that she would make Sims out of her students. Her least favorite students would be isolated in a room w/o doors and just left to die, while her favorite students would live :-)

18. 4agreements's experience is proof that we need to pay teachers more.

I would prefer they didn't know I cleaned houses for money on weekends or that a couple weeks after school is out for the semester, some teachers go through the lost and found box before it goes to charity. Nothing real crazy. Honestly, teachers that I work with are too busy to have too many secrets. And the few nut job educators don't last long. I guess I would never want my students to know that some of their parents are assholes and because of their incompetent parenting, life will be harder.

19. Digitalgeezer, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears...

I went out on a Sunday night; drop a huge amount of X and one of my mates thought it would be funny to spike my drink with acid. Teaching Julius Caesar tripping balls was some of the most fun I have ever had. A bunch of students came up to me afterwards and said that they finally understood Act 2. To this day I have no idea what exactly I taught them.

20. the_low_s should warn them about Reddit.

my main source is Wikipedia, but i always tell my students that this website is bullsh*t and they should not use it.

21. TTTThrow spills the tea in the teacher's lounge.

High school. Kids, if you deserve it, we talk crap about you when you're not around. If you're an idiot, we say so. If you're a butthole, we say so. If you're a lazy good-for-nothing, we say so. If you're super weird, we say so.

If it doesn't weird out who we're saying it to, if you're a hot girl, we say so too

And if you're an awesome person, we say so as well. We're not skewed just one way.

Mom asks if she's wrong for banning her racist family from meeting her biracial baby.

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Most parents will do anything to protect their children, even if it means never letting them near their own parents...

While the ideal scenario is that children grow up with two sets of loving grandparents, life isn't always a Hallmark movie. Especially when racism is involved.

Differing political beliefs and religious views can tear families apart and when children come into the equation, people rightfully become more protective. However, racism is obviously entirely inexcusable and if your family is unrelentingly racist, it's best they're not involved in your life or your children's lives.

When a recent Reddit user consulted the moral compass of the internet (Reddit's "Am I the As*hole?" thread) to ask about cutting off her racist family, strangers were definitely ready to give her advice.

Question: AITA for not letting my family see my baby?

I (Caucasian F26) married (Filipino M 28) 2018. Everyone in my family is married to someone Caucasian, literally no-one is in a mixed relationship. About 2 years ago I met my husband and we've been in love ever since. My parents never approved of our relationship and gave me an ultimatum. If I didn't leave him they'd kick me out and never speak to me again. There was not one reason to hate him bc 1. They've never met him 2. They didn't want to meet him at all and 3. As soon as I mentioned he was Asian they looked visibly upset and my dad turned beet red. And since I didn't leave him, everyone in my family shunned me. For over two years my family didn't talk to me and didn't even know if I was okay. I tried to call them and even visit, but they'd never answer. After a while I got tired of trying.

Fast forward 2018, my husband proposed and we agreed on having a small wedding with just close friends and family (80 people approx). I invited my parents, siblings, and close family but no-one showed up. I was so heartbroken because I never got my parents blessing and this is a one in a lifetime event. Towards the end of 2018 I find out I'm pregnant with our first child and we're so excited to be parents. I plan out a small baby shower and I again invite my family and no-one shows up. My mom decides to phone me later that night to tell me that my child will never be accepted into their family and that I'm a disgrace. At this point I'm fed up with them because they have so much hatred to their own grandson and he's just an innocent baby. A few weeks later I give birth and no-one in my family shows up to see him. But I didn't let them affect my happiness.

Fast forward to this year 2020, my son is 6 months old and he doesn't know who his aunts, uncles, cousins, or grandparents are. He doesn't know any family besides my husband's. Two nights ago, my mom called to meet her grandkid but I immediately said no and didn't explain why. I'm afraid they might hurt my child to begin with and they never cared for him until now.

People were ready to help!

"chargoggagog" wrote:

Keep doing what you’re doing, protecting your child and yourself from toxic racists.

"waireti" wrote:

There are so many experiences that you won’t be able to protect your baby from, but you can protect them from your toxic family.

"drunkenCSSLeapingJS" wrote:

Please for the love of God OP DO NOT LET THEM NEAR YOUR BABY, this is unforgivable.

"HellaHighAtHogwarts" wrote:

Don’t expose your sweet baby to that toxic mess. There’s no relationship with my children if you don’t have a good one with me first and foremost. Congrats on your marriage and your baby!

"lodebolt" wrote:

They chose to write you out of their lives. If they want to see your son I'd make them follow steps to be allowed back into your lives. Meeting your husband and you without the baby would be a first step and during that meeting have a long talk of why their feelings have changed.

"brieezy" wrote:

I’m mixed race, and I’ve never met my moms parents because they, like yours, are racist assholes. That’s just a good parenting decision. Your kid will thank you. I’m really, really glad my mom kept her parents away from me, and know for a fact that she has had no regrets about that decision.

"Hammie95" wrote:

I know in situations like this (mixed race couples, gay couples, etc) the family makes a statement of disapproval initially, then regrets it later. It is possible that they've come around and realized the error of their ways, and have good intentions moving forward. That being said, you absolutely do not owe them access to your life after they hurt you the way they did. Letting them into your life or keeping them out is 100% your decision, and even if they have changed, you're not in the wrong if you choose to be skeptical and not allow them back in to protect yourself, your child, and your spouse. NTA (Not the As*hole), and I'm sorry you've had to deal with this. I hope you, your husband, and your kid (and any future ones) experience decades of joy together.

So, there you have it! Not allowing your son to get to know his grandparents is sad, but it's actually for the best considering they're racist trash. Protect your babies, everyone!

29 parents share the questions their toddlers asked that even Google couldn't answer.

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The world's most famous search engine may seem like it has the answers to any question you could possibly ever ask, but even Google is no match for toddlers and their limitless curiosity. Nobody knows how to challenge the limitations of human knowledge like a toddler asking "why????"

Someone asked parents of Reddit: "what 'why?' has your toddler thrown you that even Google couldn't answer?" Here are 22 parents sharing the questions from their toddlers that no amount of internet-searching could help them answer:

1.) From DrTautology:

"Why was everything in black and white when I was a baby?"

2.) From FunetikPrugresiv:

Son (pointing): "Daddy what's that?"

Me: "that's a cow."

Son: "Why?"

Me: ...

3.) From blue-waters86:

This isn’t a why question, but my kid asked me “what’s your favourite stairs?” two weeks ago and I’m still confused.

4.) From zadiraines:

Why are things called the way they are.

5.) From smaysy:

My 1st grader asked in front of her entire classroom, why does the Tooth Fairy want my teeth? 30 6 year olds looked at me for the answer.

6.) From piglet110419:

True story.

"Mom. What's the thing you put in your butt?"

She asked this for years and I would constantly tell her you don't put things in your butt. She would ask this ALL the time. initially I was terrified she may have.

Finally I got the answer. In Walmart. At the checkout. As I'm purchasing tampons she screams at the top of her lungs " THOSE ARE WHAT YOU STICK UP YOUR BUTT".

I must have had her with me at one time and it traumatized her. Although not more than I was in Walmart that day.

7.) From 8ken88:

Who will be my mommy when you’re gone?

Tears everywhere.

8.) From swallowyoursadness:

‘Mummy why are we alive’

Christ it’s not even 8am

9.) From Ladyughsalot1:

“Why was I in space before your tummy?”

......tell me more kid

10.) From lavachequipisse:

'Why is green?' A genuine question my daughter asked. Not, ' Why is X green?' Just 'Why is green?'

11.) From Pantelima:

Why do I love you so much?

12.) From JshWright:

"Daddy, are you going to be a boy when you grow down?"

13.) From tfwNotPraisingTheSun:

Me: I love you!

3 Year Old: Why?

Me: Because you're my little boy!

3 Year Old: Why?

It's been 2 weeks and I'm still evaluating why. Sent me on an existential journey

14.) From ChRo1989:

It's not necessarily a single why question, it's the fact he continues to ask "but why" after I've given him a perfectly good explanation to his original "why" question

15.) ​​​​​​From Tupiekit:

When I was in the army and back home on mid tour leave my 5 year old neice asked me "Uncle Tupiekit....what is war?"

Like shit kid I don't even know that answer

16.) From Why_So_Slow:

"Why Spring?" - not why is Spring after winter, not what happens in Spring, or why Spring is called Spring. Simply "Why Spring?"

"Why do you have alotof?" (" a lot of" is a single word for her. Doesn't matter what you have and how much of it, she wants to know why do you have it in that quantity)

17.) From Rddj79:

My son was the why-Er. 4.5 yo son in bath: Moooooommy come here I have something to show you. Me: what’s up bud? 4.5 yo son: pulling his penis to the side and aggressively pulling at his balls why does this have wrinkles when my fingers aren’t wrinkly yet and why when I stretch it like this the wrinkles go away? Me: well... I don’t have one so I really have no idea, lemme get your dad.

He killed me with his whys especially since most of them were concerning his penis, poop or throwing up.

18.) From DaddyGamer1984:

"Whats the smell of the colour nine?"
- Daughter back in 2009

19.) From pikachewchew:

Where was I before I was born

20.) From Smec1207:

"Mom why don't I have a pee hose like the boys?"

I laughed so hard, I couldn't come up with a legit answer.

21.) From shapu:

My five year old wants to know what was before the big bang.

22.) From shit-post-mega-bot:

"Why do bad people pretend to be good?"

23.) From youreawizardhailley:

She asked me if employees come to their work on their off day, do they get to use the employee bathroom or the customer bathroom.

24.) From mhamouda2019:

When we go to sleep, where do we go?

25.) From sneklady89:

Do cops go to jail if they do wrong?

26.) From HolyMotherF:

My 5 year old nephew asked "why did God created the forbidden tree if he doesnt want anyone to eat it? And why did he put it in the middle of the eden garden where everyone can see it?"

27.) From caudron:

At 4 yrs old she asked me, "Why is happiness important?*

Turns out, it's a surprisingly difficult question to answer.

28.) From no-money-at-all:

My son asks me everyday “why are we on this planet? Why are we here!” Hes four man. What do I answer?!

29. From duckfat01:

"If there really were dragons, what would they cost?"

15 people share the 'red flags' they didn't notice in their past toxic relationships.

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Hindsight is 20/20, and this rule of thumb applies sevenfold when it comes to toxic relationships. When you're inside your love bubble it's hard to see what's really going on emotionally, whether it's toxic or not.

While processing the emotional gymnastics we performed in past relationships can be incredibly painful, it also lends clarity for spotting future red flags. Sadly, a lot of the cultural norms around relationships are convoluted, we're bombarded with romantic comedies that promote obsession, isolation, and co-dependence in the name of "love," but in the real world relationships require a lot more emotional nuance.

The Twitter user Halima kicked off an online dialogue about toxic relationships when she asked her followers to share the red flags they didn't recognize in past relationships.

Sadly, a lot of people had vivid memories of toxic relationships. So the thread quickly filled up with examples.

1. Always investigate when someone calls their exes "crazy."

2. Emotional hypocrisy can become toxic quickly.

3. If their response to being called out is to call you crazy, run ASAP.

4. If they're threatened by your friendships, that's a bad sign.

5. If you have to beg for communication, they're a manipulator.

6. If the compromising is only coming from you, that's no bueno.

7. Isolation is not love.

8. Noticing other attractive people is normal, but bringing them up all the time is manipulative.

9. If the relationship brings up more bad feelings than good, that's a compass.

10. Partners with explosive tempers who aren't working through their issues in therapy carry a huge red flag.

11. If they think being nice is a high standard, that's a yikes.

12. It's a nope if they lash out at you for their own mistakes.

13. If you're addicted to the highs, but they're countered by intense lows, it's a good time to evaluate the relationships.

14. If you feel like an emotional translator at all hours, it may be a toxic fit.

15. When their biggest fear doubles as their biggest flaw, that's a conversation.

Guy posts about forgetting to pay bartender he had a crush on and she responds.

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The internet can be a toxic wasteland that consumes our time and gives us nothing back but anxiety and debilitating loneliness (I'm fine!). But every so often something wholesome and pure happens when strangers connect in the digital world, and it makes you wonder if all the time wasted and anxiety accrued is worthwhile. This is one of those instances.

A guy named Matt thought he blew his chance with a "super cute" bartender after he left his phone number on the check. He was thrilled to get a text from her later that night, until he realized she was texting to inform him that he had forgotten to pay his bill.

He shared his embarrassing story in the Reddit community "Today I F*cked Up," writing:

This happened over the summer. After work one day I went to a hotel bar. The bartender was super cute and the bar was practically empty so we chatted for over an hour. As I was getting ready to leave a bunch of people sat down at the bar and she got busy, I didn't want to ask for her number in front of a bunch of people who were trying to order, or wait around, so I wrote my number on the check and left. I was half way home when I got a text from her. I excitedly opened my phone to "hey it's Sara the bartender at (hotel name), you didn't pay your bill" and my heart sank into my stomach. I texted her my card number and apologized. She never texted me back.

Matt even shared a photo of their text conversation, which includes him apologizing for his mistake and sending his credit card info.

His apology is followed by some light flirting, which she reciprocated.

Commenters seem to think that Matt seriously blew his chance.

MedicManDan writes:

Hahaha... oh man... you are dead to her. People who skip on their tabs are the worst humans alive to a Bartender. Odd choice to text your card number though... somewhat dangerous.

A number of people think sending his credit card info to a stranger was the real screw up.

DingleBerryJP writes:

Next week TIFU by texting my card number to a random bartender now I had my credit card information stolen.

While others pointed out that he also messed up by failing to pick up on the fact she's obviously flirting with him in these texts.

Schlag96 writes:

The real TIFU is after she said "slick move" and you apologized again instead of flirting.

Turns out, they were all wrong.

In an update to the post, Matt says their communications ended with this text exchange 7 months ago. Until he posted the story on Reddit yesterday and sent her a link. Brave!

The last text she sent was the end of the conversation. It's been over 7 months since this happened and I never texted her back after that. I did send her a link to this post though... and she replied!

His bravery paid off. The real Gina responded to the post, confirming that she was into him, too.

She writes:

This is the ACTUAL bartender. Gina not Sara 😂Only pieces of shit will use someone else’s card. He was very nice and super fun to talk to! I don’t talk to people to only get their money, I actually love meeting new people. Yes I was into him clearly as you can tell from the messages

Then Matt posted a gleeful update to his original post:

She's agreed to hang out! We're going out for a drink soon!

And the moral of the story is, no matter how badly you f*ck something up, love will find a way if you overshare about your f*ckup to a bunch of strangers on the internet.

Also don't get any ideas and start leaving your phone number instead of your credit card info for bartenders you find attractive. 99.9% of the time that will not end well.

16 deep sea divers share their most frightening underwater experiences.

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In concept, going on a deep dive in the ocean is a supremely peaceful experience. You have finally escaped all the endless chatter and noise of human beings, and now you can swim through the watery gorgeous blue abyss.

While diving can be a rare and peaceful communion with nature, it can also serve up a soaking panic attack when you come across dangerous creatures and cadavers down below.

In a popular Reddit thread, deep divers and water lovers shared stories of getting scared to death by the deep sea, and as it turns out - sharks are big and mean business.

1. tsim12345 had a very scary few minutes.

I don't know if this counts but I'm a water lover, so maybe so.

While water skiing in the lake one time (Louisiana) when I flew off I landed like pretty much on top of an alligator. I kinda felt my leg hit him and we were like eye to eye when I gasped for air. Then he went under. The moments after that were the most terrifying moments of my life because I was so certain I'd feel him bite my foot any second and drag me under. I started screaming and couldn't stop until the boat was back to me.

You don't realize how long 2-3 minutes is until you're alone in the open water.

Never again for me.

2. gdwcifan found a hand.

I was diving with some friends and found a fisherman's glove with a hand still inside it. We brought the glove to the local police and they told us that they hadn't received any kind of report of a guy with a missing hand.

3. coshreddit was terrified of the doll's head.

Scuba diving down a ledge - dim, a bit murky: doll's head lodged on the ledge face made me scream into my regulator.

4. gloriouspenguin was face to face with an eel.

I was diving in Thailand and we were at a site diving where there were two steep hills underwater full of rock formations, coral etc. Between these two areas was a sandy bottom with scattered rocks ranging between the 1-5 meters across, all full of holes and full of life.

Were were swimming from one hill to the next and inspecting these rocks along the way. I was swimming along one large one when I get whacked in the side of my stomach very hard. It startled the shit out of me and I quickly back off. The dive instructor noticed and came over and we inspected what happened.

That's when we a gigantic moray eel (I'm later told it was a Giant Moray). He was absolutely massive, never seen one so big. Was easily a couple meters in length and was probably as wide as my head. We assume I had passed too close without noticing and he attacked, he hit my BCD and luckily didn't persist.

5. TeePlaysGames wonders about the history of that motorboat.

I like kayaking when I get the chance, but one day, in a lake up in Glacier Nation Park, Montana (The most beautiful place I've ever been, and I totally recommend it) when I saw a small boat. A little, vintage looking, tiny motorboat. The little tiny mini speed boats you always see in 70's movies set in Miami or something, just a few feet underwater, perfectly preserved.

I could reach down and touch it. There was no signs of damage, no signs of why it sunk. It was strangely eerie. I had to leave because for some reason it just freaked me out. The idea that something could sit, inches from the air but still submerged for years, probably. It made me so uncomfortable and I don't know why.

6. JRR_Tokenring got kicked out of a fish's house.

I was diving in Bermuda, 85 feet down, coming out of the wheelhouse of an old fishing boat. I felt something start tapping my hand, turn my head with thoughts of all kinds of horrible terrifying sea creatures reaching out to grab my hand and see a tiny little fish flinging itself into my hand and waving it's fins at me as if to say "get out of my house! go on scram!"

That was when I discovered you could laugh through a regulator.

7. Ursus_Crap interacted with a ghost fish.

South Floridian, here. I grew up fishing and diving, which has led to a few notable stories. The one that sticks out the most was during my high school years. I had just taken a deep breath and gone down to a reef about thirty or so below. My friend was still on the boat above and we were the only ones on the reef. I got down to the bottom and noticed a thin upright pole. Upon closer inspection it was indeed a normal fishing pole, but old and rotten under the water for so long.

Right as I was going to grab the pole it was pulled from my hands, just shooting up and away, as if being reeled in by the other side. It was gone within a matter of seconds, so i started my resurface expecting to see another boat responsible. No boats, nothing in sight, but of course just my friend and his boat. I never bothered telling him, because he would have never believed me anyway. The only explanation I might have is that the pole was still attached to a fish or something, although I doubt it. Still gives me goose bumps thinking about it.

8. LilyKnightMcClellan ws briefly considered for a meal.

When I was younger, I used to dive and snorkel a lot in the Florida Keys. On one trip, I think I was snorkeling, I was swimming and everything was great, until I spotted a group of big barracudas.

So, I've run into small sharks and eels while diving, and I'm generally fearless, but I stopped in terror when I saw the barracudas. One in particular was closest to me, while the rest of the group was a little further. He turned a bit and made eye contact with me. They have been known to attack divers, so I swam away slowly. Luckily, they didn't come towards me. I don't think there was a real chance that they would have attacked me, but it was the most worried for my safety that I'd ever been while diving. I think what was the scariest to me was that the sharks and eels had basically ignored me, but the barracuda looked at me, seemed to think about me, and then decided, "Nah, you can go." Whew.

9. MakeYouThink doesn't know what the red was, and maybe doesn't want to.

I was diving off the coast of Fiji and we went through a natural tunnel (like a 10 meter cave/passage through a rock formation). So we start swimming through the cave and suddenly the light was weird, like the blue tint from the water has been replaced by a red one. Now all divers will know that this isn't only weird because the color changed but also because red is the first color to disappear after a certain depth (usually between 30ft -10m- and 40ft -13m-), and we were over 70ft (23m) deep. Also bare in mind this was late morning on a sunny day.

So imagine this scene: me and my dive buddy are going through an underwater cave and suddenly everything, for no apparent reason, is tinted red, a color that you are literally supposed to be unable to see while diving at that depth during the day.

Upon exiting the cave, everything was back to blue. I thought it was just me so I didn't signal to go back up. After the dive my buddy asked me if I'd seen the water tint red too. We can't explain it and the folks from the local dive shop had no idea what we were talking about.

10. SeasDiver is now familiar with the gorgeous visage of a Beaded Sea Cucumber.

On one of my night dives at the Flower Garden Banks Marine Sanctuary in either 2005 or 2006, had my first encounter with a Beaded Sea Cucumber. I thought I stepped out of the real world and into a science fiction/fantasy world seeing this long worm with tentacles surrounding it's mouth like a cross between a snake and an octopus. Very scary initially, now I look for them because they are pretty cool.

On a more recent dive (this spring), although I knew I was going to see it (the whole purpose of the dive after all), finding the 3 year old 80 lb golden lab that had been swept away in the spring floods and trapped in debris under a bridge scared the heck out of me when I first found her body visually. Knowing you are looking for it, and actually finding it are two different things. But at least I was able to bring her body home for her family.

11. warwatch's childhood was certainly not boring.

I grew up diving, as my family owned a dive shop. I've dove all over the globe, but the thing that creeped me out most happened on my local lake. I was about ten, and had taken our ski boat from the dock to a secluded cove to look for an abandoned cemetery (the lake was created by TVA in the 30's and displaced an entire town, leaving several places like this lost in the trees with no access). When I got onto the shore, I found a blanket with all the edges tied together to make a bundle. I didn't open it, but did some exploratory poking.

There was obviously a cinder block in there, and the rest was just squishy. After a particularly vigorous poke, blood started seeping through the blanket. I hauled my little ass back to the boat and never looked back. Decades later, I still think about that and wonder what was in there.

On a lighter note, our shop got a lot of business retrieving dropped items and speed boats that idiots would sink. My dad was the shop's master instructor and normally passed these jobs on to me or one of the regulars. However, he took one job in January to test his new dry suit and took along one of his friends. I was their gear-tote, and waited on shore. Dad came up first, and started telling me about this weird looking fishing lure he'd found while sifting through the silt. About that time, the buddy surfaces and asks dad why he was playing with that tampon for so long.

I had an awesome childhood.

12. ArsenalOwl did not want to venture in that mystery water.

Well I definitely don't love water, but here's mine:

Was down by the beach, was around thirteen. My brothers and I went down there to play a lot around then. There's a seagull, they're pretty common around there, flies down to the water to grab a tasty fish. Well, it must have misjudged the size, because whatever it was grabbed the seagull and dragged it under water.

Dunno what it was, but I didn't want to play in the same water as it.

13. Bdag got lost in the underwater abyss.

I was knee boarding one time in a lake not too far outside of my home town. The water is very murky and dark. Well the front end of the board dipped downward in to the water but I kept holding on to the rope. I shot probably a good 20+ feet deep in a matter of a couple of second and when I let go I completely lost my place it space. It was pitch black and I couldn't tell if I was right side up or upside down. Didn't really "find" anything scary but being that lost in space is truly terrifying. Started buying more buoyant life jackets from that point forward.

14. Pun-Chi could've been gobbled up.

Was doing a drift dive down in Mexico. Saw a VERY large grouper off in the distance. Let myself drift towards it. I soon realized it was far bigger than I had thought and I was putting myself in danger (possibly). This thing could have taken me down too far or damaged my gear or knocked me out. I've seen videos of these things eating 4 foot sharks. And this bad boy was bigger than the ones in the videos. I was a bit shaken after that dive.

15. Yeti_Hairball doesn't know what that floating parallel image was.

I was snorkeling in the Caribbean and I got separated from the rest of the group. We had be sticking close to the shore to look at the small fish and things. Touristy stuff. I stayed behind to look at a small school of fish and when I looked up they were all way ahead of me.

To catch up, I took a shortcut across deep water. I was swimming along for a while, not seeing any fish or anything, when I just saw a murky outline in the distance. You know, when you're looking at something underwater from a distance and its just a shape? Like that. But it was huge. Easily bigger than me. Just slowly swimming parallel with me.

I didn't take the time to investigate it closer and just swam to shore as fast as I could. Still gives me chills when I think about it.

16. Kaiju_Blue was chased by a fleet of fish.

Ok here's a fun one, made me feel like a bitch at the time, but now I look back and laugh.

Snorkeling on the gulf side of Mexico, just after high school. Had set up a day beach, good location, water dropped to about 20 feet deep just a short distance off shore. Things are going well, we're seeing just HUNDREDS of fish, small school of puffers (didn't even know they schooled), which scared a few people.

So at one point, I'm just swimming back up to the shallow beach, and turn around to swim backward, when I see...I don't know, 6-12 of these small fish, white bodies with yellow fins, RIGHT off the end of my flippers, swimming HARD. Like, chasing me. Moments later I'm scrambling up on the sand like a shark is right on my ass. Did that whole "look around to see if anyone noticed me being a fool" thing. In retrospect, they probably liked the current I was generating with the flippers or something, I know they weren't dangerous. There's just something truly frightening about so much smaller than yourself being aggressive or chasing you.

TL;DR Chased by tiny, probably harmless fish while snorkeling, scared the crap out of me.


13 people who had to disown or cut off a close family member share what happened.

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Sometimes you just need a good cry, and if now is one of those times, then here is the Reddit thread for you.

People opened up about the toxic behaviors and devastating tragedies that tore their families apart, and we're sending them love from afar.

1. From Lettucelove185:

My parents disowned my oldest sister. I'm the youngest of three girls. My oldest sister had a horrible relationship with my father, blames me for getting in the way of their relationship. She had her first baby (to spite him) when she was 16 years old. My father refused to give her money because she met a deadbeat child predator, and got pregnant again, the again, and again. She constantly put herself and deadbeat before kids. Dad would send money to girls for Christmas and birthdays and never heard a thing, he finally gave up... She's 30, has six daughters, and lives in a mobile home in North Carolina.

We hadn't seen or heard from my sister until June of this year. My oldest niece contacted me asking to come to Florida (where I live) for the summer to get her and her sisters out of the trailer. I agree, contact sister and she agrees, I set up plane tickets and organize the rooms they'll stay in. When they got here, they were completely disheveled. Clothes visibly dirty, smelled foul, so covered in lice that my white towels stained gray from removing them. My niece informed me that they had been without water and electricity for 6 months. They live in a 2 bedroom mobile home, there are holes in the roof, bugs and rats everywhere. As a family, we decide the girls aren't going back to North Carolina.

We tell my sister to come to my parents house in Florida to get her life together and get back on her feet. She refused because deadbeat is not invited. Ironically, she found out that deadbeat is cheating on her. She confronts him and he kicks her out of shit hole trailer. Deadbeat said "I would rather be homeless than live with you". Sister now works for the dollar store and doesn't pull her weight with kids. At least the girls are safe now

......My parents had disowned my oldest sister when she moved to North Carolina with deadbeat for six years until my niece reached out to me through Facebook. I had never even met my two youngest nieces until this event. I regret turning my back on my sister. I really hate her and what she put her babies through, but if we stayed in her life for those six years we maybe could have prevented this.

2. From Yardbird753:

My ex wife disowned my son.

We both married young when I was in the military (high school sweethearts). She became pregnant 6 months into our marriage. I don’t think she connected with him at all after he was born. The most she did with him was Instagram photo shoots where she painted herself as #1 mommy. When he turned 3, I left the military. A year after that, she ran for the hills. I remember it like it was yesterday. I sat down with her at a local restaurant to talk divorce plans. We split all of our financials and material items down the middle. We finally got to custody for my kiddo (something I dreaded to discuss because fathers never gain custody in my area) and she tells me “I want absolutely no responsibility”. I was taken back and I asked if she was sure. She was. That one sentence hurt me more than anything else that happen during that time. My biological father wanted nothing to do with me and now I was seeing it happen with my own child but with his mother. I received full custody and she married within a year afterwards (she had another child too). Her parents try their best to be apart of his life but she still does her best to avoid him. He’s 7 now and used to it, but I know it weights heavily on him. Shit sucks a** but it’s life I guess.

3. Fromgamrgrl:

Not my kid, but my sister I raised for several years. I was a senior in HS when my parents had my sister - completely unexpected. They were 58 and 55. I never really got to know her much as I went away to college when she was 5 months old, and was in the Air Force by the time she was 1 1/2. I saw her twice on leave, and got pics, but the way life was working out we never really got time together. Fast forward, our dad dies when she is 2, and my stepmother is raising her. She was a terrible parent, like the kind that saw one of her kids run away at 16 to halfway across the country, another runaway at 15 and get married, and one that is just a loon who spent his life bouncing around whatever hot MLM program was out there as a career. She also convinced my dad to send me to a pray away the gay camp in TN. when I was 15. So when my sister was 11 and begging for help, I took leave and went to her. Surprisingly, my stepmonster was happy to get attorneys to draw up the paperwork for me to become my sisters guardian, and even pay for it.

So I'm raising my sister and things are okay until she is about 14. Then I caught her doing these videos online talking dirty trying to get guys to jerk off. So that was a mess of trying to get those down and suing the people that hired her to do them.

Ran away for a week, hiding out at a friends house, found her when she was caught shoplifting.

A B&E charge at 14, trying to steal the phone of a boy she was dating to see if he was talking to other girls. It happened on base and I managed to talk it out of being a bigger thing...

At 18 she was accepted to RISD, graduated with honors, and had an actual decent paying job with a web company with benefits and everything. Started getting stoned a lot, lost her job. Sold her car to pay bills. Lost her apartment, still hadn't bothered looking for work. Got her trust fund at 24, blew over $400k in two years, nothing to show for it. Had multiple cases against her for drugs. Was restricted to the state, but decised to go follow Phish around anyway and sell molly. Got picked up for hooking and possession out of state, was returned to RI where she was detained and somehow released pending trial yet again. While awaiting trial she was caught holding enough packaged for sale heroin to qualify as a distribution charge.By then, I hadn't heard from her for almost 7 years, and only managed to keep up with her reading the police blotter or from the ocassional attorney that she had contact me to verify I would pick up her legal tab - I wouldn't. Against any logic, she was out of prison in under three years. I heard she dimed a bunch of people out to make it happen. She showed up at my house, asking for a place to stay. I said I couldn't have her in my house, but I'd get her a place for the night and then help her locate a place of her own. That night she broke into my house, nearly got shot by me while doing it, and tried to spin some story that she was looking for something she dropped in my house earlier that day, despite never actually entering my house. I told her she had to go, she threatened she would call DCFS and tell them I was abusing my kids if I didn't go with her to an ATM and give her all the money I could withdraw. Told her to GTFO before I exercised the castle defense law and dropped her.

took out a restraining order the next day, and in doing so found she once again left state when she wasn't supposed to have and violated her parole, so back to the clink. Since then she's been dead to me.

4. From gambitgrl:

My biological father divorced my mom and also his 3 kids, basically bouncing out of our lives and making it clear he wanted next to nothing to do with any of us when he left.

Man years later, at my older sister's funeral, that he had the fucking gall to attend, I asked him why he did that he said, "I thought it would be easier for everyone." He actually meant it was easier for him to run home to his wealthy family and enjoy a second adolescence while my single mother worked 2 jobs to feed 3 kids under 10 with zero child support from him.

5. From craftythrowaway126:

I have disowned my oldest son. He molested my daughter, has been diagnosed as a sociopath and we have restraining orders against him. It isn't fun and I never thought I would be that parent.

6. From Merryprankstress:

My family disowned me because I disowned my mother. I was sexually groomed and abused/tortured by her husband for years and when I finally told her she not only didn't believe me, but stayed married to him for seven years. I had to move out at 16 to get away from how I was being treated. Then when I finally began speaking to others she started to cover her ass with her social circle by telling them that I seduced her husband.

I cut her off for years, and didn't ever want to see her again but my family bullied me to just get over it and have a relationship with my mother and that I was hurting her. Even my sister who knew what happened, knew I stayed for so long to protect her, fell into a trap of my mother whining to everyone around her and painting me as a liar. About 4 years ago she was very suddeny diagnosed with advanced cancer and didn't have much time. I was moving out of my home state and everyone told me I needed to see her before I left, that I needed to be there, but I didn't want to. In the end everyone turned their back on me. They were so mad I wouldn't just forget my trauma just to say goodbye to someone I hadn't loved for a long time, and rightly so.

7. From Mizzscarlett2pt0:

My parents stopped loving me the moment I was disfellowshipped as a Jehovah Witness, and I was promptly Kicked out.

I knew nothing of how to live on my own at the time, but I had a decent job and survived.

My brother stopped associating with them 2 years later and lives with me, and they since moved away (1500 miles away to be exact).

Its easier to tell people I am orphan or that I do not have parents, cause its hard to explain how they would stop loving or want to associate with there own son over some stupid cult rules.

8. From zuzumotai:

Not me, but my great grandma. This story is really sad but also interesting, so I thought I'd share it.
She was a young creole teenager- french creole was her first language, and she was a quarter-to-half black like me, with tan skin and loose brown curls. She was born in Florida, but when things started getting worse for black people in Florida, her family relocated to Texas. For those who don't know, creole people tend to play heavily into colorism. Although they are definitely mixed race, they prioritize light skinned people. The looser your curl, the lighter your skin, the more white you look, the better. Her parents had high expectations for her to marry a wealthy, light skinned man who would take care of her.

Instead, she met my great grandfather. A poor, dark-skinned man jumping from job to job working for farmers and trying to make a living. The two of them fell in love. They were just teenagers. Her parents threatened to disown her if she continued seeing him, and like a rebellious teenager, she refused. They wanted her to do better. She wanted to be in love.

They might have broken up eventually, if she didn't get pregnant. But she did, and that was the end of it. Her parents basically said "you've ruined your life" and disowned her right there. The whole family disowned her. No one would speak to her- aunts, uncles, cousins, not a single person stood up for her. So she had no choice. The two of them moved to California, so he could get a job picking oranges. He built a house. They had their first daughter. She was 16. She never saw her family again.

9. From el_monstruo:

My mother was disowned by her her parents for her interracial relationship...

...We are from the south (Arkansas). There are parts of this that are weird too. My mother initially lied to her parents and said she was dating an Arab man. This was fine but they found out she was lying leading to her being disowned. I guess in the early 70s Arabs were ok but blacks were no-nos.

They disowned my mom but it was fine if we came over. My older sister was close with them but me and my younger sister always felt weird going over there. They adored my older sister though and she stayed over and went on vacation with them among other things.

I remember asking my grandfather why he didn't like my mother when I was about 8 or 9 years old at a cousin's birthday party. He just walked away.

These same people who essentially pushed her out of their lives were the same ones she took care of and comforted in their darkest times. She sort of went back to them and they didn't push her away for what I am assuming is they knew the end was near and they were trying to right their wrongs. I have no idea just an assumption. She was there with them until their ends though. My mom might not be perfect but damn that made me look at her in a completely different light.

10. From ParrotParent:

I asked my biological father at 28 why he never tried to see me after he and my mom got a divorce. He said he never wanted to try for any custody arrangement because that meant he would have to pay child support. So the fear of child support led him to stop talking to his nine year old. He’s currently doing the same thing to my two younger half sisters. Some people just really shouldn’t be parents.

11. From LeftRightShoot:

My wife left me and took our son from me when he was 6 weeks old. I fought for over 5 years to see him but in the end had to protect my own sanity. The feeling of that parental love turning into just a "feeling" of his existence is something you simply can't describe.

12. From lexrob2421:

I disowned my step mom for shooting my cats (killing them) and threatening to do the same to my dog (there are many more insane stories). Unfortunately my dad doesn't understand... He has issues also.

13. From Phil-Michaels:

Not the disowned child, but my older brother is. He has been a petty crook as long as I could remember, into hard drugs since his pre-teens, and pretty much a full-blown sociopath...

The last straw was him walking out on his kid and her mother, and starting a gang fight at our house over a drug deal gone wrong. Things got really violent and I’m pretty sure weapons were involved. He left the house, and on that very same night, he came back because he needed a place to stay. When my dad said no, he started fighting my dad. I stepped in at that point and almost beat the hell out of him (no one fucks with my dad, no one). It ended with my dad having to hold me down to stop me from killing him, and my brother walking away down the street yelling obscenities. Haven’t seen him since. This was 6 years ago.

At this point, he’s either in jail or dead. I may have every reason in the world to hate him for everything he’s done, but I don’t. He’s a tortured soul who has let his demons get the absolute best of him, plain and simple. I just hope that he finds some kind of peace, even if it takes death for him to do so.

Bill, if you’re reading this, you’re my brother and I still love you, and I hope you’re okay, wherever you are.

23 Memes For Anyone Who Wants To Stay Home This Weekend.

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"There's no place like home."

-Dorothy

The Wizard of Oz got it right, there's no place like home. Especially on the weekend when all the bars and restaurants are crowded with way too many people. If your favorite bar is your couch and the delivery man knows you by name, these memes celebrating staying home will tickle your funny bone.

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Woman texts bride to break up with her fiancé after not being invited to the wedding.

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You've heard of Bridezillas, Groomzillas, and Guests From Hell. Now meet...the Petty Uninvited Estranged Friend Out For Revenge—the PUEFOR.

Lioness_96 posted in the subreddit Wedding Shaming a series of texts she got from an impressively woman she fell out of touch with.

"Girl I rarely speak to anymore asks if she's invited to our wedding," she wrote. "After telling her that she isn't she tells me I should rethink marrying my fiancé."

It turns out that just because you're praying for somebody doesn't mean that you're close friends.

Despite this absolutely well-intentioned advice, the wedding is still on.

Thoughts and prayers to the ex-friend.

21 people from around the world share the traditions in their countries they hate the most.

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Tradition! Tradition! Just because a ritual or behavior has been celebrated in our country for a long time doesn't mean we have to like it. Hating cultural traditions is a universal experience. In the U.S., I would start by getting rid of Thanksgiving (or at least the part where we celebrate genocide—the overeating we can keep). Also bridal showers can GTFO—is a wedding gift and a wedding not enough for you, Kelly?!!??! And the 2-party system is a disaster (not to mention a myth). I could go on. And on. And on.

Someone asked Reddit this question: "what tradition in your Country can F*ck Off?" These 21 salty people from all over the globe share the traditions from their countries that can seriously go to Hell:

Clearly Americans aren't the only ones keeping weird and terrible traditions alive.

1.) From MrHappyPig (Wales):

When I lived in Wales there was a tradition where a person wearing a dead horse skull would come to your house and if you didn't say a poem he/she would steal your booze and it was legal

2.) From MarkRenton93 (Russia):

The tradition of fighting after any traffic accident.

3.) ​​​ From ​​​​raviji22 (India):

Caste system in India is so fucked up, that it could suck my dick

4.) From Reptarftw (the U.S.?):

Most of office culture. "In our world, people judge you if you leave before 6pm!"

Fuck that. I'm not going to apologize for being an efficient hard worker. If I'm done by 4, I'm fucking leaving at 4.

5.) From carlosx86-64 (Ghana):

Before marriage, you have to present a drink to her family members (knocking), prepare a traditional wedding (engagement) before you walk down the aisle in a church (the real wedding). This is in Ghana. Sucks.

6.) From MNLYEvangelista (Phillipines):

Filipino time. Everybody knows that the meeting is at 9AM, but some people purposely come in, late. Or they actually leave their house at 9AM.

When people tell you that you gain weight everytime you meet up.

When a family member or relative asks you when you're going to get married. If married , when you are going to have a child. When you already have a child, when are you going to have another one. And so on.

Also, just because you're a relative. It doesn't mean, you have a free pass to live at their house. Especially on short notice.

7.) From LucyVialli (Ireland):

Going to too many funerals. Fine for relations, friends, someone you actually knew. But in Ireland people go to the funerals of anyone they ever even said hello to, any relation (no matter how distant) of anyone they ever knew or worked with, anyone they ever lived withing a 20 mile radius of, or anyone who ever served them a drink.

8.) From coturnixxx (Phillipines):

Using kids as a retirement plan and making them "owe" you for giving birth to them, so said kids have to give you a cut of their monthly salary and take care of you when you're old and sick.

9.) From TotallyLegitEstoc (U.S.A.! U.S.A.!)

The two party system.

10.) From Just_Alice_Green (Czech Republic):

Easter. More specifically Czech Easter. On the Eastern Monday, boys are visiting every house in the neighbourhood and are whipping girls with a willow stick and ribbons and reciting an Easter poem. Girls are supposed to give them usually sweets, eggs or alcohol. Google it. As a girl, I have to say it's not that scary as it sounds. It's not even painful (if someone isn't an absolute idiot). But it's a really awkward social interaction. And I hate it.

11.) From obekymrad (somewhere in Europe):

Yellow car. You see a yellow car, you have to shout it out and hit someone else. The bruises I used to get.

12.) From baltdd (France)

Shitty politicians and revolutions against every fucking issue ever.

13.) From julianwolf (U.S.A. and beyond):

Black Friday and Cyber Monday.

14.) From bgiw (Earth?):

Casual alcoholism

15. From JustGiveMeAUsernam (India):

Being nice to the elders and never talking back. There have been times when my aunts and uncles have said outright offensive things, and I've had to hold my tongue and smile politely. Oh if only....

16.) From kingcaptor (the UK):

Fox hunting. It's already illegal but only rich people do it, so the law looks the other way.

17.) From Heylayla (Spain):

Bull fighting. I hate San Fermin specially. A full week of abuse, alcoholism and drugs.

18.) From bounybeard:

The old firm (Protestant and Catholic football teams meeting up so the fans can kick the shit out of each other in a lively form of religious debate) honestly needs to die. Luckily the crowd gets older every year.

19. From SquirrelAlchemist (the U.S.):

Tipping. JUST PAY YOUR SERVERS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

20. From lindseychaps21 (the U.S.):

Not being able to hug/hold hands with friends. People in the US are touch starved because we’re worried we’ll be seen as “gay” or something. It’s sad, I want hugs :(

21.) From yashqasw (India):

women aren't allowed inside temples, kitchens or on beds during their periods. in some villages, they're also forced to sleep outside if the house for that duration

23 Memes To Help You Start Your Day Off With A Giggle.

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"He who laughs, lasts!"

- Mary Pettibone Poole

Laughs! Get your laughs here! For the low low price of FREE, you can get all of these funny memes. Wow. Simply amazing.

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25 Memes To Help You Start Your Morning Off With A Laugh.

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If your goal is to laugh today, these memes will accomplish that mission in two seconds flat. Every one of these memes will make you giggle and that is a huge accomplishment for anyone to achieve before noon.

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16 people share the insults they received that made them rethink their life.

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Some insults are stupid, some are funny, some are mean — and some can rock your world so hard, they turn out to be a form of life advice.

A recent Reddit thread asked people to share the insult they received that made them "rethink an aspect of [their] life." After the initial burn subsides, we all might get some good advice from these.

1. This is enough to render you paralyzed with despair.

“You confuse motion with progress.”

Ouch. And he was right. - compIicatedbusiness

2. Oh, good! Oh... oh, no.

A friend of a friend guessed that I was 22 years old (I'm 28) and I was stoked thinking I was keeping my youth until the next day when I learned she only thought I was that young because of my job being not that great - pdxblazer

3. Eyebrows are very fixable.

A girl asked me if I had been in a fire and if that was why my eyebrows were so f*cked up. And that's how you give someone a lifelong insecurity! - Rise_ToThe_Occasion

4. Unless you're telling someone they look like an extremely hot person, keep tidbits like these to yourself.

I had that happen once. A coworker at a new job said, "Hey, you look just like Annie!" I hadn't met Annie, but when I did, I cringed and died a little inside. She was not attractive. - Roscoe_cracks_corn

5. This is the kind of insight $100+ an hour will get ya.

"You test people around you and throw them away if they don't pass." -my therapist

The only thing that truly ever made me think. - BeloKure

6. We can't recommend calling people crackheads, but at least this has a happy ending.

"You look kinda like a crackhead."

This after months of taking prescription adderal daily. Barely getting sleep, barely eating, smoking weed to help me ignore the side affects. I basically walked outside and broke down crying. Quit the stuff that week. Quit my sh**** job a month later. About to graduate college. - themonkery

7. And the very next day, he threw out all his Supreme hoodies and bought himself a bedframe.

I'm in my mid 30s. I was out one night and tried hitting on a girl I had been getting to know because we were both regulars at the same bar.

She said "You're like a 25 year old."

"Oh, thanks!" I said.

"That wasn't a compliment."

After I sobered up the next day I realized that I was clinging desperately to that feeling of being younger and avoiding making meaningful growth and changes in my life. - FancyStegosaurus

8. A dollar? A DOLLAR?

I was hounding somebody for a dollar I was owed. I received 99 pennies.

I think that made me realize I needed to let certain things go. - sithwonder

9. Fake is better than rude or awkward, though!

As an introvert, I am very proud of my people skills and love making people smile. I had a close friend tell me that I seemed fake with first impressions. Made me doubt/feel insecure about how everyone I meet views me from then on. - jj5green20

10. There's a special place in hell for anyone who forwards a nasty email to the person it's about.

An old boss, who was a huge a**hole, once forwarded me an email from a client complaining about my presenting skills. She said her colleagues took bets on how many times I said “um” on our conference calls...

Up until that moment, I sincerely thought I was good at it. I was super embarrassed and ended up making a big effort to improve. I believe I’ve come a long way since then— my current company now frequently asks me to do industry speaking events. - pixelbae

11. This one got deep quick.

When I was in highschool and lying to my parents a lot, my mom said "I don't understand why you are so devious". The word just struck a nerve.

It made me reflect on how my default was to hide and keep things secret and that this wasn't normal. I don't lie about things anymore, but it has been a lifelong struggle to be comfortable being truly known by my loved ones, not to fear rejection if they see me for who I am, flaws and all. - LaeliaCatt

12. The universe is rude for making this person a bullying victim AFTER they realized the error of their ways.

In third grade a friend and I were making fun of a girl behind her back for being fat. We didn't think anyone else could hear us, but some other girl did and she called me a stupid something in Spanish, which despite being young and knowing almost no Spanish I still understood the stupid part. The insult didn't really hurt, but having someone call me out for being mean made me feel bad for what I said. I tried to stop bullying people after that, but the universe decided I had more karma coming my way; my parents switched me to another school for unrelated reasons and I spent the next five years being bullied at the new school. - Taint_Washer

13. Bradley Cooper's brother in "A Star Is Born," is that you?

I’m pretty good at guitar (not trying to brag). Stopped playing for a few years because I was too busy getting drunk. Half drunk at a coworkers house one night and played him a song. Instead of the compliment I was waiting for he just shook his head and said “what a waste” - yamam69

14. Moms really know how to hit you where it hurts.

"If I was a boy your age, I wouldn't date you." -My mother - Mad_Monkey

15. Talk about a kick in the pants.

"I used to think so much of you." Oow. Still stings a little. - Ricjack99

16. Nothing like getting dumped to make you re-evaluate everything.

A girlfriend broke up with me saying I wasn't doing anything with my life and she could do better.

She was right. Motivated me to get off my ass and do something with myself. Whenever I feel like I am not making progress her words ring in my head, makes me honestly assess my situation and what I want to do with my life at that time. That was 15 years ago and I am working on my second degree in an intellectually rewarding career with upward prospects. Thanks, Annalisa. - ahfuq


Mom asks if she's wrong for telling daughter to dump her famous boyfriend.

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Dating a famous person might not be all it's cracked up to be.

A concerned mom is asking the people of the internet for advice after she met her daughter's "famous" rock star boyfriend and wasn't impressed with what she saw.

"[Am I the a-hole] for telling my daughter I don't approve of her 'famous' boyfriend?" she asks.

Mom started out excited, especially after she googled his band:

My daughter told me around 3 months ago that she was dating a new guy, and I was happy for her. Then she told me that he is in a band, and its a pretty big band. At first I thought she was exaggerating but then I looked it up and it turns out they are pretty big (like millions of views on their songs on youtube kind of big!), and that right away kind of made me a bit worried and excited at the same time for her.

Her daughter warned her that he was a colorful character, but it all seemed okay:

She has told me all this stuff about the crazy stuff she has done in the past few months just by being with him, and it sounds fun and part of me is a bit jealous LOL. I was happy for her though, she had met a lot of other pretty famous people and been backstage at some big concerts.

But then she met him — and the off-color jokes, cigarette-smoking and drunkenness put her off:

Then, he came over for dinner. And my opinion of him changed completely. He was an unabashed asshole. He basically made fun of a disabled person right in front of us within 30 minutes of meeting us. He smoked cigarettes without a care in the world for the people around him (outside, not in the house, but still). He interrupted people in conversations and was very rude in general when talking.

His ego was unbearable:

He always had to be the center of attention, almost like he was gracing us with his presence and we should be grateful. He had an ego the size of a sky scraper, constantly talking about all this stuff hes done in his life and places hes traveled. It was almost like a bad stereotype trope of an 'asshole rockstar' from a comedy movie. And even worse, he was dismissive and at points downright MEAN to our daughter right in front of us. It was painfully obvious he did not care much for her, and she looked hurt by the things he said.

And he was drunk before he even arrived:

He also showed up the dinner a bit tipsy, and proceeded to drink quite a lot during the dinner as well. I don't have any real tangible evidence but it seemed like he was on some kind of upper.

She told the daughter right away that this guy seemed like bad news:

When he left, I right away confronted my daughter and told her that he was not a good man and that I do not approve, at all, of this guy. She got very defensive and said he was just a bit drunk and that he is a very nice guy, but I just wasn't having it. I tried to be as honest with her as possible, that this guy is a narcissist and that he isn't good for her, and that I hope she isn't just staying with him because hes famous.

Oof — yes, she basically called her daughter a groupie:

I regret saying that last part to an extent, but it was the truth. She got furious at yelled at me and then left.

Am I the [a-hole] for this? Was it too harsh?

The people of the internet agree that it's okay to be concerned — but accusing her daughter of dating him for his fame was probably not the best way to get her message across.

Reddit user meithe says her concern is warranted:

It's normal to be worried and he doesn't sound like a nice guy (just showing up tipsy to meet you shows how little he cares about her). Maybe you could have approach the subject more calmy just she could be more receptive; but I would definitely try talking to her again.

Many, like notyourcoloringbook, argue that speaking up probably won't help:

I probably wouldn't have said anything. I know a lot of kids (me being one of them) need to make their own mistakes. Everytime my parents told me they didn't like someone I was dating I made that relationship last way longer than I should have, just to piss my parents off.

She will realize he's bad for her, but on her own time.

It seems like this mom's gonna have to play the waiting game, according to Crymson_Ghost:

She's your daughter so I know you want what's best for her. She's blinded by who he is and she'll continue to eat a lot of shit from him. When people think they're in love, they won't listen to anything you say, no matter how good the advice is.

Now we just wanna know... which band is he in?!?!

16 parents and babysitters share the most bizarre things they caught on nanny cams.

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Modern technology has a tendency to make us all feel like amateur spies...

Of course, if you're hiring someone to watch your children, you need to make sure that your children's safety is their first priority. While it does feel strange to set up cameras and watch your nanny or babysitters, a lot of families decide that a healthy dose of low key spying is the best choice for them. If you tell whoever is working for you that they're being monitored, there's definitely nothing wrong with it morally. Considering most bars and restaurants have staff security cameras at every corner, it makes sense that parents would want security footage when they're protecting something a lot more valuable than liquor bottles...

However, if you remember that infamous nanny cam scene from "The Nanny Diaries," sometimes things can get a little weird. When a recent Reddit user asked, "Parents that use nanny cams, what is the most bizarre thing you caught on it?" people were ready to share their strange experiences with spying...

1. Yikes, "NDRoughNeck."

My brother had a camera that was left in the basement just for safety reasons. He had some workers over to fix a tile shower since it didn't drain properly. I guess the guys were pretty annoyed at having to fix it but it's their own fault for not doing it right the first time. Fast forward a couple weeks and my brother's sister in law is turning 21. They are in his basement bar when they start pouring shots of Viniq for her. As they were pouring they could smell something wasn't right. Her boyfriend immediately thought it smelled like nail polish remover. They decided to check the camera and sure enough, the workers drank some alcohol and replaced it with a full bottle of nail polish remover. They found the empty bottle under the bathroom sink and my brother's wife knew that was her unopened bottle she had bought previously. Kind of messed up.

2. Scary, "_Iniquity_"

Our crib was under a window (shut and locked, don't worry). Every few days or so a hawk or some other kind of large bird would land on the outside of the window. The bird and my daughter would sit there for a good 10 minutes bobbing their heads at one another. It was adorable, despite the fact the bird probably wanted to eat her.

3. Ruthless, "afihavok."

My Dad has cameras set up in the house as well as smart lights. (They used to live overseas but still had the house.) One time my brother and I were hanging out at their house while they went on a trip. They left for the airport and we started watching TV - it was after dark. Suddenly the lights started flickering in the house. Scared the piss outta me. A couple minutes later I get a text from mom..."sorry, we're about to take off...your father is sitting here cackling watching you guys jump around as he turns the lights on and off... we'll let you know when we land"

4. Oh no, "crushing2013."

Buddy of mine had a kid at the beginning of last year, discovered that both his cat and his beagle would climb into the crib with the baby occasionally during naps, cute right? Both animals made it a habit to climb in, kick/push the baby to the very side of the crib and curl up in the middle completely alone, you'd catch them glaring at the kid if he started to roll back over and invade their space

5. Wow, "TooPrettyForJail."

Using a baby monitor to care for aging parent. My sister comes in and tries to convince my dad to cut me out of the will and give everything to her.

6. Damn, "lemonadebunny."

When I was a toddler, I went from fairly chubby to very skinny in a matter of weeks. My parents were worried that I was sick, and when they asked our nanny, she said "everything is fine".

A few days later, they decided to install a camera to see what was wrong. Keep in mind that after lunch time, she would let me nap and then go home (that was the deal).

It turns out that she would feed me a few bites and then throw my food away so she could leave earlier. I was too young to make anything of it. This was all caught on camera, and she was fired the next day.

7. Terrifying, "Force3vo."

Not on a cam, but on a babyphone.

My aunt liked to tell a story from a time, when her children were small. One time she was lying in bed, everything fine, and then suddenly she heard a deep voice saying:

"It's me, the monster, I came to get you"

Of course she went into panic mode instantly, ran to her child and... nothing there. So she went back and heard the voice again, realising that it's one of her neighbors playing with his kid.

Turns out those devices used the power grid and, since they both used the same model, apparently made her hear what was said into the neighbors babyphone.

8. Sneaky, "Kalae."

My buddy has a camera that sits on his doorstep. It has a motion sensor and every time it detects someone or something on the porch, it snaps a photo and sends it to his phone.

It's a Sunday morning, and for once, his two year old isn't shouting into his bedroom to get him out of his crib. Ah, yes. A rare morning to lay in bed. His phone goes off. A photo of a little red-headed boy reaching out of the front door to grab a package appears.

And that's how he discovered that his son could get out of the crib.

9. This is so weird, "PlymouthHorizon."

I have my house surrounded by CCTV cameras. One day, just all of the sudden, in the city of New York, in Flushing, an entire heard of goats just randomly walked into the area where our tiny front yard is. They stood there and nobody came to get them. It was completely bizarre. I looked up any information I could find about parades or anything that would have had goats around. None of the neighbors saw anything. This is a regular street in Flushing with only houses around me. My mailbox was eaten off the fence post. They were around for 20 minutes. I'll never know why they were there.

10. Nope, "Inthebox54."

Baby monitor- I woke up to the sound of heavy breathing, to find a face close-up in the camera (two eyes and a nose). My son figured out how to pull himself up on the crib rails. I may have stopped breathing for a few seconds. Very freaky!

11. Genius, "Flynn_lives."

My old roommate has two kids of his own. The older kid(3) deactivates the baby monitor cam when he and his sister want to do something they'll get in trouble for. Kid even waves bye to the camera before he pulls the plug.

12. Aw, "notthatshort."

My girlfriend's (now fiancee's) parents have security cameras. I used to pretend to not care much for my girlfriend's cat around other people. Then when they were out of town we took care of the dog and brought the cat over. They saw me on camera holding the cat over my head and dancing softly in a circle while looking into his cat eyes. The jig was up.

13. Horrifying, "foolsdayeveryday."

When I'm home from college I babysit for these pretty wealthy people. At the time the boys I would babysit were about 2 years old and 9 months old. It was summer and I had laid the younger one down for a nap, then took the monitor out with me to the backyard so the two year old could play. I hear sound going off and see arms reaching into the crib to the sleeping baby. I grabbed the two year old, a knife, and slowly walked upstairs. Their grandma had come to see if I needed any help, but didn't have my number so she didn't text me she was there. We laughed about it but never have I ever been so ready to shank someone.

14. Wow, "okaykitty."

Well it didn't catch my kids doing anything weird.

I had it set up while me, my husband and kids went away for a few days to visit family. I had a friend of mine (who was a recovering alcoholic and staying with us to help get straight) watch our house and take care of our dogs. I felt like it was a simple enough task. There was zero alcohol in our house and she had no car and the closest store was like 10 miles away. And her mom being her only contact in town if she needed help, definitely wouldn't get her alcohol.

We are about two days into our trip. I text my friend to see if everything is going well. Hours go by with no reply. I try calling her several times and she won't pick up. Her sister calls me worried that she can't get ahold of my friend either. So I turn on my nanny cam to see what's going on. She laying on my couch with nothing on but a tank top and my front door is wide open! I can talk through the camera and tried talking to her, but she was unresponsive but I can see that she is breathing.

I call my uncle to go over to my house to check on her and find my dogs. I can see on the camera when my uncle gets there. He tries to shake her awake, but she just groans and won't talk. He throws a blanket over her and finds my dogs locked in the laundry room with shit everywhere. And my dog chewed up the hose on my new dyson, I was pretty pissed. My uncle hangs around awhile until she wakes up and has no clue what happened. He asks her how she got so f*cked up and she told him that she drank a bunch of mouth wash!!!!! Don't underestimate addicts.

I'd like to say though that she's been sober a year and employed and getting her life on track now.

15. Oh my god, "darionlar."

I had a nannycam for our chicken coop. I actually caught one of our neighbors brandishing a power drill about to break into our coop. I called the cops and her defense was 'I was worried about the eggs'. The cops let her go. Thanks rural America.

16. Amazing, "[deleted]."

I used to babysit a 9 year old kid with Autism, along with his almost 2 year old brother. He really liked to watch Youtube videos alone in his room, and his parents were cool with me letting him during the 3 - 4 hours they would leave me with the kids, as long as he ate lunch and as long as he didn't watch anything inappropriate. They had a nanny cam in the baby's room.

So one afternoon, I put the little one down for a nap and bring the laptop with the nanny cam feed with me to the living room, so I can get some reading done. I look up maybe 10 minutes into nap time, and I see the 9 year old performing the most mind-bending and impressive dance choreography I've ever seen, while his little brother watched in complete awe. This kid was like a little Beyoncè.

The best part was his parents confirming that they had watched it too, and they had no idea that he was studying dance videos on Youtube and that he could actually perform such an amazing routine. Five years later, they're on Facebook sharing how he's in his high school's pom squad and how dance has helped with some behavioral delays.

Best Nanny Cam moment ever.

5 people having a worse Monday than you.

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5. Harvey Weinstein, because he was found guilty of sex crimes, including rape.

Finally.

A Manhattan jury has found the disgraced and disgraceful former film financier Harvey Weinstein guilty of a criminal sexual act in the first degree and rape in the third degree. He now faces a minimum of five years in prison and maximum of 29.

Weinstein now joins the 0.7% of rapists convicted for their crimes, and the small circle of rich white men in America who face consequences for their behavior.

"That cheering you hear is the sound of female journalists finally being able to drop the 'alleged' before 'rapist Harvey Weinstein' in their columns," tweeted author Jessica Valenti.

CNN reports that Weinstein was handcuffed in the courtroom and escorted out by security.

Bye b*tch!!!!!!!! Couldn't have happened to a worse creep!!!


4. Jussie Smollett, because he's back in court and facing new charges.

Mugshots are the new headshots.

Harvey Weinstein wasn't the only famous person in court today. Jussie Smollett, the actor whose credits include Empire and allegedly staging a hate crime against himself, was back in court today for his arraignment on six new felony charges.

A new indictment charges with the "disorderly conduct" of lying to the cops.

It's soooo seventeen scandals ago, but you may recall that Smollett claimed he was attacked in Chicago by two white men who called him racist and homophobic slurs, threw a noose around his neck, and then poured bleach on him.

Two black men, brothers Abel and Ola Osundario, later confessed to having been paid by Smollett to stage the attack.

Incredible: Smollett isn't just an actor, but a writer and director, too! And now, an indicted felon.


3. The guy who lost his job on the Elizabeth Warren campaign for telling Susan Sarandon to f*ck off.

Dammit, Janet!

At last week's Democratic debate, candidates losing to Bernie Sanders discussed the Extremely Online, often annoying Twitter habits of many of his fans.

"We are all responsible for our supporters," Senator Elizabeth Warren said.

Susan Sarandon was trending on Twitter yesterday after she shared one of the douchey tweets she got from a Warren supporter to show that every campaign has their meanies.

Twitter personality and alleged Warren campaign employee Tony Posnanski wrote:

Putting her money where her mouth is, the Warren campaign fired Posnanski for his toxic tweet, according to Posnanski.

Posnanski said that Sarandon illegally went through his publicly available tweets. It is unclear what law Posnanski is accusing her of breaking.

He is now committed to saying "f*ck Susan Sarandon" full time.

We all have our passions in life.


2. The people who got busted for filming an adult film in a public library.

In LA, everyone's a movie star.

Amateur porn stars caused outrage by filming a short film in a local library—and not just because they were being too loud.

CBS LA reports that a concerned parent circulated the film and alerted the city leaders, but made no comment on how they stumbled upon the PornHub video in the first place.

The clip was recorded during business hours, and parents are upset that their kids could have stumbled onto the set.

"Children don’t need to be exposed to this. If you want to do porn, stick to the hotels," said library user Janet McLaughlin. "[Officials] say that it is a misdemeanor and unless they witness it themselves, there is nothing they can do about it."

The only recourse is to downvote the video on PornHub.


1. The Flat Earther who died trying to prove his own theories.

(Digital illustration, not a real photo)

While filming a segment for the Science Channel series Homemade Austronauts, homemade astronaut "Mad" Mike Hughes died in a crash on his homebuilt rocket.

EndGadgetreports "the chute for his steam-powered rocket detached shortly after launch, leading to a high-velocity crash in the desert near Barstow, California." Hughes's goal was to prove that the world is disc-shaped by flying into space, and worked to use his homemade rockets to fly to higher and higher altitudes.

His work was mainly crowdfunded by his fellow Flat Earth theorists, and therefore didn't have the budget for extensive safety tests and measures.

Woman asks if she's wrong to call police on neighbor with dementia who tried to force her way into her home.

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Finding a stranger at your door in the evening is usually not a welcomed prospect. The grim news cycle and influx of true crime specials have taught us anything, it's that we shouldn't trust any stranger trying to come into our home, regardless of their sob story.

Still, there are plenty of circumstances where knocking on someone's door is completely harmless and justified (and we're not talking about selling anything). Whether you let someone in distress into your home is completely a personal call, sometimes placing trust in humanity can make you a lifesaver, while other times it can get you robbed, or worse yet - take your life.

In a post on the Am I The A*shole subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for not letting an elderly woman into her home, and proceeding to call the cops on said woman.

AITA for refusing to let a strange older woman into my house at night?

An older woman rang OP's doorbell around 8pm, asked if she could be let in. Before OP could answer, the older woman attempted to push past her into the space.

I was at home by myself, and around 7:50PM, someone rang the doorbell. I checked the video feed and saw it was an older woman (maybe 70) that I didn’t recognize, standing outside with a bag. When I opened the door, she said, “Oh, they left me outside, so can I come in?” When she asked to come in, she started to physically maneuver past me to walk into the house without waiting for my response, so I blocked the door, and I asked her again why she wanted to come in.

When OP asked the woman what was going on she kept vaguely saying "they left me outside." At this point OP noticed a stalled truck waiting for the older woman, which triggered suspicion about the situation.

She said again that they left her outside. I looked, and there was a pick up truck idling in the street and the passenger door fully ajar. Someone was in the driver’s seat, and it looked like he was waiting for her. I told her, “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you into my house, I don’t know you.” She said “Well, I can’t wait outside.” And I offered to call the police for her if she needed, and she said that was fine. I closed the door, and she got into the truck, which then drove forward so they were in front of the house next door.

When OP refused to let the woman in, she hopped in the passenger seat of the truck, which promptly drove off. Because of the tenuously creepy nature of the exchange, OP decided to call the cops, and when her fiance returned they reviewed the security camera footage.

It was all very creepy, and I was home alone, so I called the police to tell them the situation. My fiancé knew I was a little nervous about it, especially because I had just recently moved into the house, so he came home and checked the video feed. It turns out that the woman is our next door neighbor, who he assumed got locked out of her house.

OP's fiance quickly recognized the woman as their next door neighbor, and suspects she is in the early stages of dementia and was locked out of her house. Now, OP feels awful about calling the cops and wonders if she should've just trusted the woman.

I’ve met her once or twice before but I hadn’t recognized her, and she never mentioned that she is our neighbor or tried to clarify the situation other than that she was left outside. My fiancé thinks that she might be in the early stages of dementia but says that it was an honest mistake on my part. Still, I feel like a major a*shole. So: AITA?

_Save_Bees doesn't think OP was wrong, and thinks the woman's family or someone else involved should warn neighbors about her condition.

NTA.

The neighbors should let you know if she's prone to wandering, or whoever was driving her around should have come to the door with her.
In the future, though, you may want to just talk through the door rather than opening it for strangers.

music_lover273 thinks it's fairly obvious there are no jerks, it's just a complicated situation.

NAH. Hopefully she gets the memory care she needs.

jesslynn39 thinks OP's instincts were correct since a lot of robberies are set up with a decoy.

NTA. Alot of robberies go down this way, where the robber will use an elderly person or a child as a decoy, cause they know it will normally pull on people's heart strings. You invite the person in your house cause you feel sorry for them or whatever reason and next thing you know your tied up and your house is being robbed, if not worse. You can't be too safe these day's especially if you're new in an area and you're not familiar with people there yet. You absolutely did the right thing.

boomboomroomroom thinks it's always best to err on the side of safety.

NTA. You don’t know her and she never identified herself. Plus, you weren’t mean to her at all and even tried to help while maintaining your safety. Whether she’s elderly or not, it’s never a good idea to let strangers into your home. Even if they seem harmless you just don’t know what could happen.

greywings1 thinks that OP and her fiance should alert the woman's family (or anyone close) about her condition, for the safety of all.

NTA. She might have dementia. :( My grandma was prone to wandering and saying weird things, like she needs to go to her babies or that her parents abandoned her and she wants to go home. If she has any family or someone visiting her, I would let them know about this, so they can handle it with a doctor from there.

Now that OP knows the woman is her neighbor, any future run-ins will be a lot less alarming. Hopefully, for everyone's sake, the woman has loving family or care-givers nearby to help assist her in times of confusion.

20 people who clean skyscrapers share the weirdest things they've seen through the windows.

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People who clean skyscraper windows quite literally have a direct view into other people's homes and workplaces, which makes for a lot of noteworthy awkward moments. While most buildings give their staff or residences a warning about all planned cleanings, not everyone gets the memo, and making eye contact with a stranger suspended in mid-air is known to bring out the weirdest reactions.

In a popular Reddit thread, people who clean skyscraper windows shared their bizarre and memorable stories from the job.

1. zappasbestfriend ate pizza while suspended in the sky.

Once while cleaning a high rise apartment, an old lady kindly ask me if I was hungry and proceeded to open her window and hand me a pizza slice.

So I sat there, 27 stories up, tangling on my chair and eating pizza.

It was a good day.

2. lokidopolous thinks it's funny how anxious people get.

Not as exciting as the other stories but something I’m blown away by when I’m on ropes is how many people feel guilty about not working when I’m around. When you look into peoples work stations you can see that almost no one works, most people are on Facebook, YouTube or on news sites. But the second the notice me outside the window they quickly switch to an excel spreadsheet.

Like they think I’m some kind of productivity spy about to rat them out to management. Keep cruising the internet people, don’t mind me!

And also, pointing to the window and saying “you missed a spot”, isn’t funny - f*ck you.

3. squirrelbeanie made eye contact at the weirdest moment.

I used to live in a high rise condo. Sometimes the window cleaners go up the side of the building where my small bathroom window is. One Saturday morning after a crazy night out, I ended up needing to take a really spicy beer shit. So I opened up the window and sat down on my toilet, hungover, with my eyes closed thinking about where I went wrong in my life choices that lead me to this moment where death seemed like a reasonable alternative.

Then I hear my window close. Apparently the window cleaner needed to close it to go up higher. Cue the slow ascent of their window elevator thing, they saw me destroying my toilet. We made eye contact and I gave him the universal “nod” of understanding. He gave me one back and continued his slow ascent upwards at like an inch a second.

Edit: Holy crap. I didn’t realize the way I worded the story made it seem like I was either sitting or shitting off my ledge so I added a little italicized edit. I mean sat down on the TOILET!! I’m not suicidal but I’m sure we’ve all had that hang over where you become borderline just for a while.

4. thinretrogod has a litany of stories from the sky.

I've been a rope access window cleaner for a couple years and have seen my fair share of weirdness. A couple incidents that stick out are:

  • a young couple having fun that invited me to join

  • an apartment in a ritzy building completely empty other than a table with several sheets of freshly printed, uncut $100 bills

  • a real ass mummy sarcophagus

Been offered several joint hits and various adult beverages while hanging off the side of a building. Animals were always my favorite though. Cats and puppies lose their minds seeing you outside their window and will happily chase your mop and squeegee while you work. Always brightened the day.

Edit: another memorable moment was causing a mild panic in the dining room of a local retirement home dementia ward. We felt bad and went as quickly as we could, but the nurses laughing their asses off as they tried to contain the pandemonium made us feel slightly better.

5. dman2316 got some cash for their silence.

Not a skyscraper window washer but was a janitor who had to wash the windows in a 6 story building as part of my job so I used a mix of ladders and rappelling down from the roof with a harness to clean the outside windows. One day I was washing the outside windows on the executive floor where all the bosses and higher up employees had their offices.

I was done with one window so I moved to the next window and looked in and saw the CEO of the company snorting something in his office with the door locked and the lights off. He looked up and saw me in the window and we made an uncomfortable eye contact for about 15 seconds then I just pretended I saw nothing and kept washing the windows. Never spoke a word about it to him or anyone in the office but the last day I worked there he gave me a farewell card with 200 bucks in it and a free solar powered portable phone charger that the company produced and sold.

6. dom_976 had a wholesome and hilarious exchange.

I once had a bookcase collapse on me in my office, as I was laying on the floor under a pile of books and shelves I heard a knock, there was a window cleaner at the window trying not to laugh and asking if I was ok.

7. bettywhitefleshlight's friend had a NSFW interaction with the window cleaners.

Friend was fresh out of the shower sitting at her computer desk naked when the window cleaners were at her place. She heard a noise so she turned around to see two men outside her third story window. So she screams and runs into the bathroom to hide. Later she calls the building management to complain and they tell her that a notice went out and she must not have seen it.

Then building management decided to ask the window cleaning service to send those guys to her apartment to knock on the door and apologize to her. Hilariously awkward.

8. agtritter feels bad for the patient in retrospect.

Ok, so not exactly what OP was asking for but a funny story nonetheless. I was in medical school on my psychiatry rotation at the local VA hospital. We’re in the 6th floor inpatient psych unit seeing a guy with schizoaffective disorder...we were asking him about any hallucinations or delusions he may have been having, and he tells us that he was seeing ropes outside his window and was worried people were trying to get into his room.

Seeing that there were clearly no ropes outside his window, we made note of his persistent symptoms and went about our rounds. About half an hour later we get to another patient’s room and we suddenly see ropes dropping from the roof down the side of the building. Turns out the poor guy wasn’t hallucinating...they were just cleaning the windows, lol.

9. zeroUSA has nothing but love for the enthusiastic window cleaner.

I am not a window cleaner, but a paramedic. We got a call once to a suicidal window cleaner guy once. We could see what was going on as we approached. He was swinging around and doing tricks in between each wipe of the window. Like giant swinging leaps and who knows what else. The police had him come down and asked him what he was doing, and he said he just really loves his job. So we told him he needs to be safe and left him to go back to work.

10. Raaaaaaaaaandy had the weirdest trial day washing windows.

One time in college I answered a help wanted ad for a window cleaner. I thought it was going to be one of these high rise jobs. Instead when I showed up the interview it was some methy looking guy in a parking lot. I spent the day with him going from house to house cleaning people's windows. He told me to pretend I was his nephew and he kept introducing me to customers that way.

Then when we were cleaning windows he kept telling me his fantasies of f*cking the housewives. It was super weird. Plus, he chewed tobacco and while driving would spit the juice between his legs onto the floor of his ratty truck. Then at the end of the day he told me it was just an audition and tried not to pay me. One of the strangest days of my life.

11. exscapegoat quickly learned why windows on the 47th floor should stay shut.

I'm not sure why, but while I was working on the 47th floor, the window washers had to open a window. It was like a wind tunnel, papers were blowing all over the place.

12. Cojy730's uncle has quite a few window washing stories.

My uncle is a former window cleaner and he said his most memorable moments were when he lived and worked in Rotorua, which at the time was the crime capital of New Zealand.

The most bizarre was when he saw some naked guy, obviously high on something, getting Benny hill chased up and down a street by the police.

The second most bizarre was when he heard a crash, followed by a van tire bouncing down the street that was being chased by a massive Maori guy who proceeded to throw the tire over his shoulder and wander off whistling as if nothing had happened.

13. Azuris-Bane's uncle rescued a dog on the job.

Not me but my uncle has been doing it for years and had many weird encounters, but this one is kinda sad.

Having changed companies he started at this new apartment building. Near the top there was this old lady with a dog, the dog was young enough and was always excited to see him. Eventually he started talking to this woman when he was working through a small window, they became somewhat friends. Then one day almost a year on the job he went up and for the first time the apartment was empty except for the dog, which he found odd, so when he was finished up he tried to check and see if she was in but got no reply.

A day later a member of staff from the apartment block (I think it was the landlord but can’t remember) got back to him and told him that she passed away, and that she had no family. Assuming that my uncle knew her the landlord asked about the dog, seeing if there was anything that could be done. My uncle being the kind fella he was, took the dog.

Nearly ten years later my uncle still has the dog, a little terrier name Pumpkin.

Edit: For those that asked for a picture of the dog, this is a recent enough one. Dog Tax - Here is Pumpkin

14. mopsarethebomb wished they didn't accidentally intrude on this man's moment alone.

Well. I was washing the outside of the windows at the group home I work at (state was coming by later that week and I was super bored).

I walk up to one of my dudes bedroom windows to wash it off and apparently he hears me outside somehow even though he had his radio turned up to about nine f*cking thousand, like he always does.

He rips up his blinds, totes naked, and starts slapping himself repeatedly in the forehead and screaming.

This was pretty normal for him, but it's definitely the strangest thing I've ever seen so far in my life while washing a window.

15. RedditYankee was the creepy visage in the window.

I was visiting my grandparents in a high rise, looking out their windows a few stories up. As the window cleaners went by, I happily watched them clean, hands folded behind my back, because the windows were a one way type thing where they were basically mirrors from the outside in.

I knew this because I’d seen the building from the outside. Unbeknownst to me, the level of reflectivity changes pretty drastically depending on the time of day, and I realized that when the window cleaners were going by, they had to wash the windows while some weirdo (me) stood about 12 inches from the window watching their form.

16. PiercedGeek got fired for their lack of ladder skills.

During my stint as a window cleaner (about 3 weeks) I didn't really see anything outrageous but I will never forget how I got fired. The boss hands me my check, tells me that I don't need to come back on Monday (I wasn't surprised) and says, "PiercedGeek, you can clean a window and it'll actually be clean, and I can't say that about everyone I hire, but man watching you climb a ladder is like watching a dog trying to sh*t a peach seed."

Edit : OMFG this took off, I didn't think anyone would even see it. I think what he meant was the shaky, super careful super slow way I would get up to the window to clean it. I f-ing hate ladders and was battling every survival instinct just to be on the stupid thing. Thus the lack of surprise on my part.

17. normal242 will never forget Brett Lee's downward facing dog.

It was a normal morning and I had just began cleaning windows. I'm cleaning one with the blind down not really paying attention. I realize that the blind is slowly rising and when it finishes opening I see him. Cricket legend Brett Lee doing yoga. Will never forget that day.

18. Son_Of_Science's girlfriend bonded with the window cleaner.

My condo building was having the windows cleaned. Being a teenager, I forgot.

I was in my room with my girlfriend at the time. I start hearing this noise and think "that's weird, there's no floor above us." So I stop and start turning my head (I'm still on top of her) when "bam!"

Ladder appears at my window. Middle aged window cleaner sees us. Starts laughing.

I jump up naked, covering myself, and run for the remote for the automatic blinds.

Pressed the button, and stood there in front of the cleaner while my blinds slowly "vvvvvrrrrrrrr......"

I stand there buck naked for a good minute while the cleaner and my gf laugh their a*ses off.

19. marmite_crumpet got a lot of winks and giggles.

What I got was a LOT of flirting. I don't know if the pane of glass gave them a sense of safety, or if lots of office chicks are just bored, or if our red overalls were particularly fetching but something brought out the bachelorette instinct, notes pressed against the glass, pretend lesbian performances, you name it. Only seemed to happen when there was a group of ladies though.

Edit: I'm not u/PivotPIVOTPIVOOOT's ex despite the weird similarities.

20. thefabulousbomb's friend had a very uncomfortable moment with the window cleaner.

Not a window cleaner but do have a couple of stories.

My parents were having the windows changed one day, and didn’t warn me, so I went to bed nude (it was summer and British houses aren’t designed for heat), woke up the next morning to scaffolding being put up. Luckily my bed was hidden so they couldn’t see me, but I had to hide in the corner of my bed and text my mum to get some clothes for me to wear.

A guy I briefly dated told me the story of the time his parents forgot to tell him they were having the windows cleaned. His entire family went out for the day so he decided to whack one out, nude, with his blinds open. Just as he’s on the edge he looks up and sees a very uncomfortable man at his window trying to clean it.

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