5. Ted Cruz, because he's self-quarantining, even though Trump says that coronavirus is a hoax.

Despite the president's best efforts to cast a global pandemic as a"hoax" perpetuated by the Fake News Media and the Democrats to harm his reelection, the coronavirus is very real, very serious, and isn't up to date on Trump campaign talking points.

Many MAGAs have been forced to wake up and smell the handsoap after an attendee at the recent Conservative Political Action Conference tested positive for COVID-19, the disease caused by the virus.

Among the conference attendees who shook hands with this individual is Senator Ted Cruz, who became the first lawmaker to announce that he will be self-quarantining as a safety precaution.

His name quickly started trending on Twitter, and people couldn't resist making jokes.

While we obviously don't want to make light of a serious situation, we give Senator Cruz our thoughts and prayers—his go-to strategy for other major public health crises.

4. Prince William and Kate Middleton, because Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's "farewell" trip to the UK has some Royal reporters feeling regretful.

After years of pitting Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton against each other, and the William and Kate doing nothing to stand by their siblings, Meghan and Harry decided to retire from the Royal Family. The now-Canadian duo arrived in the United Kingdom for their final Royal engagements, and they look so good, you can't help but hear Lizzo sing "you coulda had a bad b*tch."

Meghan crushed the princess thing so hard that even royal reporters are beginning to regret losing them to the colonies.

This "farewell tour" comes on the heels of a New York Times investigation alleging that Will and Kate have been buying Instagram followers to make themselves seem interesting and important.

For their part, William and Kate did little to pretend to be a happy family, with the Cambridges awkwardly nodding at the Sussexes, and nobody returning Meghan's wave.

Don't it always seem to go, you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone?

3. Melania Trump, because she got salty at people who called her Marie Antoinette for focusing on her tennis pavilion.

While the wife of Donald Trump has yet to solve cyberbullying or help any of the families and children she claims to care about, she has officially accomplished something as First Lady.

That's right, our long national nightmare is over, and the tennis pavilion at the White House has been fixed! Thank you, Melania!!!

A grateful nation thanks you for your not-at-all tone deaf service!

FLOTUS must have seen the replies, because she published a rare rebuke, reminding people who is really suffering these days: her, because of her Twitter mentions.

Melania truly leads by example, and inspired me to get my own private tennis courts fixed.

2. The guy who got charged by police for pulling out his gun when he hated a karaoke song.

Jason Allen Huff, a 34-year-old former Marine in Indiana, was booked into jail and charged with Level 5 felony intimidation after he pulled out his gun on a karaoke singer at a bar.

Per WTHR:

According to a report, "police arrived to find a woman outside a car with a gun, saying the man in the car, Huff, was her cousin, a veteran who suffered from PTSD."

Police were eventually able to handcuff the man. The officer's report said Huff "was so intoxicated it was difficult to communicate with him.”

The police report said employees of the business told officers Huff "became upset at a song choice by the singer” and that Huff fell down as he attempted to "go after" the singer.

The police report did not include the name of the song in question.

1. Everyone impacted by the market collapse.

Are you a .participant in the global economy? If so, I regret to inform you that it's looking bad.

The one-two punch of various industries shutting down to contain coronavirus and Russia and Saudi Arabia's oil price war is adding to the sense of doom and gloom you've been feeling since the last recession.

"These market prices are telling us that a recession is becoming more likely in the United States this year, and that it will probably leave scars on the economy for years to come," warns The New York Times."In effect, plunging energy prices caused by geopolitical machinations are combining with coronavirus to put numerous major industries under pressure in ways that could bounce off one another — through financial markets, to the economy, and back again — in unpredictable ways."

On the bright side, at least you don't have to deal with Ted Cruz for the next two weeks.

Professional housekeepers learn a lot about people's messes—and not just the literal ones. When your job is to clean the darkest, dustiest corners of people's homes, you're bound to discover some pretty dark and dusty secrets about the people who live there. So pay your housekeepers or cleaners well. And don't forget to tip. They know a lot more about you than you probably realize.

Someone asked housekeepers of Reddit: "what do you know about the owners of the houses that they don’t know you know?"

These 25 professional cleaners share the dark and juicy secrets they've discovered about the people whose houses they clean, often without them realizing it:

1.) From LowerEstablishment2:

Missus sends me to the store when she fucks the landscaper. But I hate her husband too and she tips good.

2.) From sisof2:

Not a house keeper but a nanny. A family once took me on vacation with them so I could watch their kids while they‘d go out and explore the area. That week, my bed was the couch in the living room. It’s late at night, the kids are sleeping, I’m laying on the couch and the parents get back. The dad says, “is she sleeping” referring to me? I didn’t say anything so apparently he assumed yes. He then started farting very loudly.

3.) From Thesugarsky:

I’m a nanny. The last family worked for I overheard the Dad calling his insurance asking if a certain Rehab was covered. He talks LOUD naturally. I heard what he was going for and everything. Nobody knew not family not friends. Just me and them. They never knew I knew.

4.) From Grey_Kit:

Housekeeper/Nanny here...

Eventually we find everything.

Mainly where the sex toys are, where dad hides all his empty energy drink cans, where mom stores all her shopping purchases with tags still on them... parents in general hide their unusual items in the most usual places. Simple boxes in bedroom drawers, in random linen closets, mostly readily able to find and just out of they way (I've helped move several families and doing the checks for packing has gotten some interesting results)

We know when the parents are tired and dont want to come home. We know sometimes the bar trips the parent takes before coming home.

We know schedules that they say are the reason aren't really the reason

We know personal preferences they have over the years to any random assortment of thing. Seriously who buys mayo to put on everything as their condiment of choice?

Some things that we know, they know we do and accept it. Alot of the stuff we know, we find out and DEFINITELY play dumb with.

First milestones in nannying are a big one. Keep that to the parents finding the first tooth we found days ago, the walking steps they took yesterday were really the first today. Why take those moments from parents needlessly is our perspective.

Housekeeping is usually the who is dirtiest. I know which parent doesnt brush their teeth every day. Which parent is having an affair with a coworker and left behind a recognizable item on accident.

We know that they dont even consider or think much about us knowing all these things.

The worst was accidentally listening to my bosses get it on. They had left the monitor for the baby in their room. It was not turned off and they to this day do not know I heard them (and turned off the monitor) lol

5.) From nightmaremain:

My friend who cleans houses said she once had a girl who left dirty pads all over her room. She refused to clean it

6.) From madiet6uwu:

House I used to work at had a secret passage from the master bed to the attic, also a secret passage from a cabinet in the great room leading to the exterior of the garage

7.) From LemmeHear:

A bit of an innocent one but while I was cleaning I saw this cabinet that was very large. Like someone could fit a body in there. So, being curious, I opened it and saw A WHOLE ROOM. It was crazy! Inside there was a bed and lights attached to these tall wood pieces. Then a mini bookshelf with some books and a desk and computer. It was absolutely amazing.

8.) From yaarty:

Where she keeps her dildos. It’s not obvious.

9.) From Times_Hunger:

I'm not a housekeeper but my late aunt used to be. One of her clients, who was fairly well-to-do, had a whole closet full of genital themed toys. And when I say "toys," I'm not using a euphemism for "sex enhancement items" or anything like that. Literal genital toys. Windup penises with googly eyes on them, PEZ dispensers shaped like the most browsed pages of a skin mag (I suspect these weren't official PEZ brand), rather risque variants on "pin the tail on the donkey", a Nerf-like gun that fired foam phalluses . . .

10.) From Batman55599:

There's a secret basement in the house behind a shelf in the kitchen, the previous owner did it.

11.) From MediumSpaces:

When you cheat on your all-organic keto diet

12.) From Kantotheotter:

Man of the house ask me and the other cleaning crew ladies if we have ever seen this type.of dog leash. Holds up what is clearly a under bed restraint system looking confused. I didn't say shit. We all looked at each other like "fuck no im not telling him" he says "mmm, maybe she wants a dog. Why was it under the mattress ???" He just wandered off dragging this thing behind him.

He was a nice guy worked a lot, tipped well, gave us holiday bonuses. She was a trophie wife, and was not nice to him. They divorced while i still worked their, he got a dog named mayonaise and was much happier. It was a rescue grey hound. Sweet dog. I don't live in that town anymore but i hope mr jim is happy still.

13.) From cleanandclaire:

Dog walker, here. I was dog sitting for an older work friend once and saw her "days sober" calendar. I was simultaneously sad, because I had no idea she was struggling, and happy for her because she had almost a full month marked off.

14.) From LunaTheFerret:

That she got a DUI. Typical religious white collar family; husband, wife, and 4 teen kids. She had one of those at home breathalyzer tests from the court sitting in the master bathroom, it takes your picture as you blow into it and it sends it to your probation officer. I only know because I was on probation a few years ago and had one too. Curiosity got the best of me and I looked at her public record...yup. DUI and she messed up on probation too, had another court date. After that I started noticing 12 step books and such.

15.) From 420Minions:

My cleaning guy caught me leaving the house once. Said he knew I smoked pot because he’d find stuff for it a lot and asked if he could find me some for a camping trip with his wife.

I freaked a little after he just said “I know you do marijuana”. I was like am I catching a lecture

16.) From squeaktoy_la:

Haven't been a housekeeper in years but we can always tell when your marriage is falling apart. The amount of "giving up" is clear.

17.) From drop-mylife-away:

Buddy of mine used to clean houses with his mom. He told me about this one massive mansion they would clean and how there were no mirrors in the entire house. There also weren’t a lot of windows and if there were, they had thick drapes. He met the family only once and told me they were very pale and quiet people.

He worked for fucking vampires

18.) From CopingMole:

Honestly, everything. I worked in a house manager/butler type of position, and there is nothing you don't find out eventually. The trajectory of the toothpaste droplets on the mirror would tell me which of the women had spent the night. I knew passwords to computers, alarm systems, bank accounts and safes that I hadn't necessarily been provided with. Drugs, kinks, medical history, sordid family secrets, skeletons in the closet, you name it. I think that's the reason salaries get obscene if you stay long enough, your silence is literally golden.

19.) From sm0kahontas710:

One of my most "vanilla" customers doesn't know I know about her bondage fetish. She seems like she would be a kindergarten teacher, it caught me off guard when I seen her ropes/cuffs.

20.) From coltraneb33:

That many of them are setting their kids up to fail in life.

21.) From throwawaymoldylies:

House cleaner of two clients who are...well...were dating eachother. Guy client (we will call N) has no clue what we know about him, female client (we will call L) is a little more in the loop of what we know.

N apparently cheated on L with a woman (K) who broke up his previous marriage(s). L found out and dumped his ass. He tried to get back together with L even calling and texting multiple times a day. He did that for two weeks and suddenly went quiet, which clued L that he was sleeping with K again.

I cleaned a few days later and sure enough, Ks shoes were hidden under the couch (not a usual place). I didn't realize being in a soap opera was part of the job description.

Special note: N has 3 vibrators. Wth does a guy need three vibrators?

Short Version: guy client cheated on female client... twice. Surprise Dildos.

22.) From Starving_Slacker:

Once cleaned a house for a woman that worked from home. It was a huge house and there she was at her desk on the phone...

I started cleaning that area and she chatted away...

"Mh'hm. I got me a white bitch cleanin' up after me. If my mama could see me now. Yes sir! She worked for them white folk thirty years. Imma beat this little white girl like them folk did to my mama." After saying this she turned in her chair and saw me as I was walking by, as if I just come into the room. She had no clue I heard her.

I feel where she's coming from but I stopped going to her house....for obvious reasons.

23.) From garmento1944:

Nice columbian family. Big tipping. They import coke from Columbia.

24.) From MiddleCoconut7:

That their closet has a secret panic room in it that is actually a dungeon

25.) From imakeenwon:

They did well to hide it but I know both of them are having affairs. She gets really giddy the week she meets her lover. She is usually quite dowdy in the way she dresses, but puts on much younger looking items to meet her man. The week she doesn't meet him is the week she is more glum but gets bombarded with messages so she is stuck in her phone.

He, on the other hand, he is a lot harder to catch. I find seemingly innocuous handwritten telephone numbers and names (always female) on scraps of paper. He is a professional that works all over the world and travels a lot and has a massive network so it is part of the job. However, in his bin, wrapped in tissue paper I'll find a torn off section of paper with a room number and presumably time written on it. This method is used with at least 7 different women judging by the different styles of handwriting. I'm pretty sure he is banging more than that though.

Raising a kid is hard enough to do when it was part of your plan all along, but co-parenting after an unexpected pregnancy can be a whole different bag, particularly if the relationship that created the child is on the rocks.

There are a lot of different schools of thought when it comes to how many rights a biological father should have when it comes to accessing their kid. Some people believe they should automatically be able to see their child wherever and whenever, by merit of being the father. While others believe a mother naturally gets more rights over a child she grew and birthed out of her body.

Obviously, there is no one-size-fits-all prescription, every relationship is different and there are a multitude of factors that shape the dynamics between parents that can't be summed up by gender or traditional roles. Still, the debate over whether fathers automatically should be allowed in the room during the birthing process is one that rages on with a persistence, and there are a lot of perspectives.

In a recent post on the Am I The A*shole subreddit, a woman asked if she's wrong for banning her emotionally manipulative ex from coming to the hospital during the birth of their child.

AITA for telling the father of my child that I don’t want him to be near me for the last month of my pregnancy or in the delivery room.

OP kicked off the post by sharing that she was with her ex-boyfriend for three years, and when they first found out she was pregnant he was excited for the prospect.

Just a breakdown, I was dating my ex-boyfriend for three years. Two weeks before graduating from grad school, I found out I was pregnant even though we took every precaution. I told my boyfriend. He told me he was fine with it. He is about four years older and felt he was ready to have a baby. For about two months, he treated me like crap. Despite telling me that he wanted to keep the baby, he pressured me multiple times to terminate the pregnancy by questioning my parenting skills.

However, soon after the reality of the news hit, he changed his tune and told her she could either keep the pregnancy and break up with him, or terminate it and stay with him.

He was also growing distant. I cried myself to sleep most nights. He eventually gave me an ultimatum - either keep the baby and leave him or stay with him but end the pregnancy. I decided to go with the former and moved out. After grad school, I started working as a Systems engineer so I was able to financially provide for myself. I never asked him for a penny.

While OP stuck with her decision to go through with the pregnancy, during their months apart her ex's best friend and brother harassed her about getting an abortion.

OP also found out her ex had cheated on her with his ex throughout the course of their relationship.

During the four months we were apart, his brother and best friend would email, text and call me to tell me to terminate the pregnancy. I also found out that he had cheated on me with an ex of his during the last 6 months of our relationship. I ended up changing my number and deactivating social media and my personal email accounts. Recently, my ex-boyfriend contacted me. He apologized for everything he did and wants to be in a relationship with me again.

After all of that, OP's ex recently contacted her to apologize, and claimed he wants to re-spark their relationship and be an involved father.

I have no inclination to do this. I am in a country that I have no family (my family lives in Europe). I currently have no support system here. He made six/seven months of my pregnancy hell. He told his brother and best friend to contact me. The girl he cheated on me with sent me screenshots of their messages in which he trashed me for months.

OP has stuck to her guns and has no interest in getting back together after everything he put her through, plus she's currently in a healthy relationship.

In the last two months or so, I reconnected with a childhood friend. He knows about my situation and we are currently in a relationship. My ex-boyfriend found out about this through a mutual friend and all of a sudden wants to be in my life. I am not okay with that. I have no problem sharing custody with him after the baby is born.

While OP is fine with allowing her ex custody rights once the child is born, she doesn't want him anywhere near her for the end of the pregnancy and the birthing process. Some of their mutual friends have pressured her to forgive him and let him be part of the birth, but she doesn't feel right about it.

If he wants to be a present dad, I won’t stop him. But I don’t want him around me for the last couple of months of my pregnancy. I don’t want him to be there with me in the delivery room. His parents and our mutual friends keep telling me to forgive him, but I can’t.

christina0001 thinks OP should stick to her convictions and not let others undermine her ex's behavior.

NTA you saw his true colors, don't let anything make you forget that.

usernameawesome1 thinks OP should alert the hospital about her ex, so he is fully banned from the birthing experience.

NTA. Speak to doctors/nurses/hospital staff and let them know you do not want him or his friends/family around. BLOCK THEM ALL. Before you give birth, see a lawyer about legal rights. He may have to prove he is the father via paternity test that he is the father to get any visitation and if that is the case then that opens the door for him to pay support. He is probably doing this as a means to manipulate you and harass you. Not a good person to have in baby's life.

bastardacademia thinks OP is doing amazing and should continue to listen to her gut.

NTA and, if I can say so, you sound like you’re a badass in an incredible space right now.

This person has put you through some hell and yet not a shred of bitterness or anger comes off in what you’ve written. You’ve come away from him with your dignity, your degree, your career, a new relationship and a baby - a whole actual human for goodness sake!

Trust yourself with how you want to handle your ex’s role in your child’s life. You sound more than capable and they’re lucky to have you.

ugh-leavemealone doesn't even think OP's ex should be allowed near the baby.

NTA.

He sounds like a garbage fire made out of red flags. You did the right thing moving out, changing numbers, and blocking social media. Don't forgive him.

His actions would even make me second guess how much of a positive impact he would have in the life of a child. My immediate guess it's that he wouldn't be one and I would not want unsupervised time between him and my baby.

ggfangirl85 thinks OP shouldn't allow her ex back in the picture until it's legally necessary.

NTA - he has rights as a dad and they don’t kick in until after the baby is born. He’s not entitled to anything while you’re pregnant, especially your delivery room. Stay strong and look into family lawyers now.

It's pretty clear that the internet thinks OP is doing the right thing by keeping her ex from the hospital during the birthing process, but navigating custody after the birth will be a whole different issue.

Every once in awhile you see or hear something in the middle of the night that convinces you you'll never sleep again...

Are ghosts real? Jury is out. However, plenty of people have a story of a paranormal sighting so convincing it's hard to tell. When you're the only one awake in a quiet house it's hard to not let your mind assume the worst. Is that creak a demon lake monster? Probably not. BUT WHAT IF IT IS?

When a recent Reddit user asked, "Night Owls, what is the creepiest thing that happened to you when everyone else was sleeping?" people were ready to share. Sleep with a light on, everyone!

1. So scary, "catcherinthesly."

So, I was at my grandmother’s house in the mississippi countryside. I didn’t know it at the time, but my grandma’s neighbor has pet peacocks. The thing about peacocks is that when they squawk, it sounds like a human being desperately crying for help.

Imagine being me, out on my grandma’s porch swing, at 2am, hearing continuous human sounding cries for help. I was terrified.

2. Damn, "Rhesusmonkeydave."

So back when I was living way out in the countryside I used to have to drive a good 20 min just to get to a county maintained road, and then another 40 min into the city to go to school and work. I’d go to school in the mornings and then work with a video production company filming weddings and Bar Mitzvahs and such.

The events tended to run well past midnight, and then we’d have to breakdown and transport all the gear, lock up the shop and then it’d be an hour of driving to get back to my girlfriend’s family’s home way out in the ranch land.

I’m driving home one night - probably 2 or 3 AM, exhausted and probably in need of a tall glass of water if you follow, and I get to the end of the pavement and start blasting down this tiny dirt road, in that real country dark where all you can see is a little cone of headlight.

Mesquite bushes and desert grass make this sorta wall on either side of the road so its like driving down a little chute of scraggly little branches - and I’m coming around this corner when up in the road is this fucked up looking... thing...

I slam on the brakes and shoot this wall of dust out ahead of me, but through the dust sitting centered in the beam of my headlights is this white, hunched figure. It has long legs and haunches like a jackrabbit but its a good 4’ high and kinda lumpy, like an illustration from those Scary Stories books and I am terrified.

It kinda rocks a little bit and shivers and I’m looking at this thing and it makes no sense at all the way its shaped. I stare at it for a good minute, just idling in the middle of this road trying to make up some kinda story to myself to explain what the hell I’m looking at, but I am completely stumped.

So I start creeping the car forward, and as I’m getting close enough to see the shapes of its muscles and the shine of fur the thing hops up, and the bit I thought looked like a head with a long ear stretches up and out changing its whole shape like something out of The Thing and I about screamed.

Still nearly invisible, except for its white striped legs and underbelly, this black cow that had been sitting at the edge of the road stood up, showing part of its body that had been hidden behind a folded black leg and staggered off into the bushes to find a spot to sleep where people weren’t blasting it with high beams. I felt like an idiot later, but in that moment where it was rising up and like... unfolding its self — if I had run off before I saw what it really was I’d be swearing to this day I saw a chupacabra or a demon or some craziness.

3. No thanks, "Deadman-V."

I recall a few months ago I was on my 3DS when I heard my little 7yo brother calling my name. This wasn't uncommon as he used to stay up a lot on his iPod watching youtube and had questions for so-and-so thing in-game so I put on a shirt and went to check on him. He was laying on the couch under his blanket, his phone still playing Minecraft videos when he looked at me and asked me to check his room for "the knocking". I'm usually paranoid about this stuff happening anyway so I went to look and turned on his light. As I glance at the window I saw a kid, not a man, a kid, maybe 11-12 years old just sitting there, smiling, looking like he just had the best day ever before running off. I ran to my brother and just scooped him up and took him to my parents room to explain what happened, but they didn't believe me. I later learned that the neighbors kid had been sneaking out at night to play with some other neighborhood kids and wanted to play a prank

4. Nope, "Night-Sky-Rebel."

At about 3 in the morning I was playing videogames in my living room when my front door knob turns but doesn't open, so i ran over to it, locked it, looked through the blinds and there was a crackhead standing on my front patio.

5. Wow, "betta_z."

About a month ago, I was in bed at around 3am looking at my phone in my pitch black room when i noticed a very faint, blinking white light being emitted from my front camera. I thought my eyes were just playing tricks on me but even when I turned my screen off I could still see it, very faint but definitely there. After that I turned my phone off and tried to go to sleep. Logically, I know it’s probably nothing, but just the thought of someone watching me through the camera was enough to make me put a piece of tape over it for the following weeks.

6. WTF, "Hawksinger."

I was working from home, third shift, and about 2 AM, I heard the stuff on the coat rack in the living room rattle like it does when the door opens. I thought it might be my cat climbing on the coats, and went to get her down, and found not a cat climbing things she knows shes not allowed on, but a person I didn't know standing in the middle of my living room. He demanded to know where his stuff was, and after me insisting for about 5 minutes I had no clue who the fuck he was, he threatened me.

My phone was in my room, and I wasn't willing to turn my back on this guy, so I reached for the katana my mother had gotten me for my birthday, sitting against the wall behind me. I got to chase a man out of my apartment, with an actual sword. Unfortunately, the whole experience freaked me out so bad that now I keep the sword next to my bed in case of... noises in the night.

I also lock the door.

7. Oh my god, "distilledwill."

I had a neighbour drunkenly enter my house a couple of years ago. My wife was watching TV downstairs and I was in the bath. The neighbour was out on a night with her friends, and came home and went straight to our front door and came in - our puppy jumped up from his sleeping position and rushed to greet them all, and they all immediately screamed and turned to run. My wife also screamed, because even though it was only a group of drunken ladies, they were still strangers in our house.

I appeared at the top of the stairs, angry, ready to fight, sopping wet and buck naked. All I'd heard was the dog bark and my wife scream and my adrenaline went through the roof. When the gaggle of drunken louts noticed me standing at the top of the stairs they turned and ran out of the door, breaking the lock on the way out.

8. Welp, "usernammajeff."

When I was like in 6th grade I was being up late as I always do just about to drift off to sleep when I saw flashing blue and red lights. I then heard “stop!” And “back here!” And I look out my window to see a shadowy figure run up my street and jump into my backyard. Both of my parents were asleep at the time and I was too afraid to wake them as I feared that the guy was in my house. I then go proceeded to see an entire police unit pull up to my street with a full search party to find this man. Parents slept through the whole thing and I still don’t know what happened to the guy.

9. What, "RollerKirbyDerby."

So I was home alone at 2 AM as my parents were out at a yearly company event which always drags out into the wee hours of the morning, and I was cleaning my house as a surprise for my parents so they'd come home to a spotless house. They've worked hard, they've earned their night out and I was honestly enjoying myself as I had my tunes on and was lost in thought. All the lights were on so even though it was night, there wasn't no dark spooky corner to make me feel uncomfortable. This is important for later.

As I'm cleaning,I think I hear a door creaking. I shut off the music and sure enough, I hear creaking again. I go out into the hallway and it's the door to my sister's room creaking open. The light in her room is off, which I immediately found odd as I hadn't even gone into her room since it didn't need any cleaning. I figured the light was always off or maybe I forgot having shut it off. There wasn't much in the way of wind but the doors have been known to open and close sometimes on their own. Offhandedly, I say aloud.

"Hey, could you close the door? I'd appreciate it."

The door begins to creak closed, which at first started giving me the chills, but I dismissed it thinking i must have just timed my words to when it would start creaking closed. So I added on.

"Actually, it's cool you can keep it open."

It started opening up again, creaking ever so slowly. I was starting to get creeped out so I decided to just walk past and ignore it, chalk it up to my imagination getting the better of me. I didn't feel like putting my tunes back on so as I cleaned, I kept hearing the door creaking again and again. And Everytime it was just the door to my sister's room. Starting to get tired and almost sure it was just the wind or something, I passed by it and saw it more open then before, and pitch black inside. I didn't stick around to look inside and just commented in an offhand tone.

"Just close the door already, cool thanks ghosts."

SLAM.

I nearly jumped out of my fucking skin and immediately turned around to see the door to my sister's room closed shut. My eyes were wide and my heart was racing. Everything was so silent and calm, I had trouble believing I was so absolutely terrified. What scared me the most was the fact that my sister's room has a door where you need to turn the knob to fully close it, else the little metal piece which keeps the door closed makes it bounce off the frame, unless you slammed it hard enough to bypass the resistance of the metal spring in the knob.

The other thing that absolutely terrified me and made me go into my room and wait for my parents to come back home, was that under the edges of the door into her room, the light was on.

10. Absolutely not, "Roomah."

Not too long ago, I snuck out to go get high and drunk with my friends and ended up at home at around 2 in the morning. As I stumble back into bed from climbing in through my window a man knocked on the window.

I almost shat myself.

A man in a full tuxedo, small briefcase like bag and glasses said to me after reopening the window.

"What have you been doing tonight?"

I responded

"Who the fuck are you?!!"

I then slammed the window and shut the blinds and I am still wondering wtf happened that night.

11. Terrifying, "Sputnikcer."

I was 8 and I needed to use the restroom so I sneakily sneaked out of the sleepover pile of children and went to the in-bedroom bathroom. I opened the door but the girl who's house we were staying at was on the toilet. She didn't make a noise but covered herself, so I quickly spun back around to go back to my spot to wait patiently for my turn. Except she was still in her bed, completely asleep. I turned back around and she was gone. I closed the door behind me, did my business, constantly looking around for that girl I "saw." The door never opened, and I saw no trace of any other human in that bathroom; not in the closet, under the sink, in behind the curtains, nowhere. Of course that freaked 8 year old me out.

12. *Chills,* "megckuch."

I used to work as a Power Plant Operator and had to work nightshifts. Everytime I would do my rounds up in the boiler house on the 8th floor the lights would flicker sporadically. I found out later that a contractor had died in that exact area a couple years earlier from a heart attack.

13. Aliens, "BuddysGenes."

Back in my early teens, some buddies and I would get together to do weekend sleepovers. One night after getting bored from playing video games till 2 am, decided to go on a night walk.

After saying goodbye to one of our friends heading home early, me and one friend start to head up to the top of the neighborhood hill. After a few min of walking, I turned around and hollered back asking about making plans Tomorrow.

A giant light blue orb illuminating light flew down below the mountain line and took off diagonally into the sky and disappeared. All taking less than 5 seconds.

Shocked, I hollered back if he just saw that. He repeated what happened, reassuring my sanity.

A lot of moms use Instagram to present a picture-perfect version of motherhood. But, as magical as it may be, motherhood can also be difficult, stressful, messy, and uncomfortable. Even for rich and famous people who can afford help, there are inevitably going to be challenges in having and raising kids. And it's refreshing and comforting when people are honest about them.

These seven celebrity moms have used their huge social media platforms to get real about the not-so-glamorous aspects of parenthood, letting moms everywhere know that they're not alone in their struggles.

1.) Ashley Graham

In honor of International Woman's Day, supermodel Ashley Graham shared a photo of her giving birth. "On this International Women’s Day understand that despite whatever pain or trial we have all experienced as women, we are also strong, powerful and capable of accomplishing greatness," she wrote. Hell yeah!

Graham has been consistently honest about some of the struggles of motherhood, like the time she had to change her baby's diaper on the floor of a store.

...and pumping in an Uber.

2.) Amy Schumer

Amy Schumer has been keeping it real about motherhood since day one. She has shared on Instagram about everything from her difficult pregnancy to her post-baby body. Never forget this legendary underwear selfie she posted weeks after giving birth.

More recently she's shared about her struggles with IVF, something many women go through.

3.) Chrissy Teigen

Supermodel and Twitter celebrity Chrissy Teigen has never held back when it comes the realities of motherhood, or pretty much anything else. A week after giving birth to Miles last Spring, she posted a selfie in her "Asian pear underwear" (postpartum mesh high-waisted underwear, which is made specifically for new moms.)

Another reality of motherhood for many moms? Breastfeeding! Chrissy Teigen is not about to let the mom-shamers stop her from being open about how she feeds her kid.

4.) Serena Williams.

Serena Williams has consistently kept it real about the ups and the downs of being a mom, and isn't above asking for help from her fans. Like the time she took to Twitter seeking advice when her daughter was teething.

And recently she shared this Instagram about the challenges of being a full-time working mom.

"I am often exhausted, stressed, and then I go play a professional tennis match," she wrote. "We keep going." Williams' posts serve as an inspiring reminder that motherhood can be stressful for everyone, regardless of how many times you've won the U.S. Open.

5.) Kristen Bell

Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard have always been honest, and funny, about what being a parent is really like. For one, it's messy.

"In the age of social media, when you can edit your life in beautiful pictures, it’s important to remind moms that all of us are wearing yogurt and all of our hands smell like urine,” she said in 2016. Amen!

And let's never forget her hilarious story about how she tried to secretly pump breast milk during a Skype video rehearsal for the movie Bad Moms. It didn't stay secret for long. One of the best things about Kristen Bell is that she has a sense of humor about the mistakes and embarrassing moments that are inevitable for every parent.

Sometimes you just have to....say it with me....let it go, let it go!

6.) Cardi B.

Cardi B displays her love for baby Kulture all over Instagram. But she's honest about the hardships of parenting as well. Shortly after giving birth, the rapper described new motherhood and the toll it had taken on her looks in a video celebrating her MTV Video Music Award nominations—in the video, she refuses to show her face. "My hair's f--ked up. My eyes are so dark and puffy," she says. "Like, I'm wild pale. A b-tch look like she got jaundice ....I've been so busy and so tired in a different world, a different dimension."

7.) Pink.

No mom is perfect, and Pink is not ashamed to admit she's broken some parenting "rules." Like when she let her kid ride her bike indoors.

The singer has unfortunately received way more than her fair share of mommy-shaming—like the time she *gasp* cooked with her kids. But it clearly hasn't gotten to her.

After-all, she's Pink.

She also shared this post which makes breast-pumpking look punk AF.

Moms are hardcore.

Living with people is hard, and even the most ideal roommate situations involve small frustrations and awkward confrontations. Everyone has different ideas of what "clean" looks like, and some prefer keeping quiet spaces, while others like to open their home to a steady stream of partying guests. Overcoming these differences requires patience, communication, and compromise, but when you have mature adults it's possible to navigate peacefully.

Sadly, it doesn't take long in the world of roommates before you discover just how many adults have no idea how to live with others. Anyone who has lived with roommates for a number of years has at least one roommate horror story, and the worst among them live on as legends and cautionary tales.

In a popular Reddit thread, people found catharsis through sharing their roommate horror stories, and it'll make your current living situation look like a breeze.

1. From CtrlAltDeleteShit:

I was away on holiday. When I got home I walked in and the carpet was soaked. My roommates were just sitting there watching TV. Turns out the hot water heater exploded and ruined the carpet and flooded my room which was right next to the heater.

Turns out it exploded 3 days prior to me returning and they just ignored it.

2. From InformationFetus:

Kidnapped two guys and held them for ransom. One hostage was set free weeks later while the other wasn't so lucky. The body was eventually found in a basement cemented buried in the ground.

Cops busted into the flat (I rented a room in an apartment - he lived in it before I moved in) and apprehended my roommate while he was sleeping. Tried for kidnapping and manslaughter along with his other few associates.

This was in Ontario, Canada around 2011/2012. I never really followed the story after I moved the hell out and learned that they were all in jail.=

Edit: Clarity of information / formatting above.

Did this post quickly on mobile, but here's a more detailed story.

My roommate was Sohaib Malik. He seemed like a normal, nice dude. Student at the local university. Had no problems with him (aside from him using my kitchen knife without permission).

3. From Graphitetshirt:

He drank my contact lens solution because he thought it was drugs. The whole bottle. A big bottle. Not only did he not figure it out while not being remotely high halfway through a f*cking pint of lens solution, if it had been drugs, he would've died a lot.

Bonus idiocy: Also claimed he invented lettuce wraps.

4. From TheFifthTurtle:

The roommate who eats your food, uses your things without needing to ask you, but if you take one of his potato chips, he feels a disturbance in the Force and must confront you about it.

5. From SiblingRabblery:

Several of us were hanging out, he ran into the room, took a picture of my girlfriend, without explanation then ran back into his room and slammed the door and did not emerge the rest of the night.

I googled him about a year ago: he is now a registered sex offender.

6. From hairymonkeyinmyanus:

College roommate, freshman year in the dorms. She secretly kept an Excel spreadsheet monitoring my study habits. Like, counting the number of hours she saw my nose in a book. So fast forward to later in the semester, when I return from a party, here she attempts an intervention...

"Hairymonkeyinmyanus, I'm concerned about your study habits..." then she brings out this spreadsheet from the entire semester, comparing my total number of hours studying to the number of hours that were "recommended by my advisor for the number of credits you're taking."

7. From snowlin:

She had a room with her own bathroom and would constantly clog her toilet by using napkins as toilet paper since she didn't want to buy toilet paper. After she clogged it she would resort to using everyone else's bathroom in the hallway with no intention of fixing her own.

One day she clogged OUR toilet as well. So while she was out, me and my other roomies went into her room to see what was up with her bathroom and there was month old shit still in the toilet, along with piles of clothes all over the floor. She also had 2 dogs that she neglected and she always tried to take our community recycling and keep the money for herself.

She was the f*cking worst, so we turned her last name into a thing you don't want to be.

Don't be a Koob.

8. From BecauseIF*ckingCan:

He left a butt plug in his room when he moved out. Didn't even clean it.

9. From borishnykov:

She was a bit of a nightmare to begin with, the kind of person who would come home at 3AM on a weeknight bringing half the pub in tow. She was perpetually late on bills, and useless at keeping the kitchen clean.

She also had a bad habit when she went to take a shower. She was one of those people who would just drop/step out of her clothes, leaving them in a fabric puddle on the floor in the bathroom, and not collect them for days. Unfortunately she very frequently left very visible skidmarks in her underwear, spread out and sunny side up on the floor for the world to see.

One day I got home from work and went for a shower, and encountered her usual filth pile, but today something seemed wrong. Something seemed familiar. I coiled in horror when I realized that it was MY underpants in that particular offering. The fabric was quite unique, and they were now beyond ruined, caked with shit and blood. I confronted her, turned out she was not good at remembering to do her laundry so would regularly steal my clean knickers out of the drier then eventually sneak them back into my laundry basket. Yes I went to get a sexual health screen after that.

10. From mcooper88:

I think I was that guy. I got so drunk one night that I pissed all over my roommate's side of the room in my sleep. In the morning I woke up wrapped in soaked sheets and he told me that he was yelling at me to stop but I was completely unresponsive, then I went back to bed and laughed until I fell asleep. I'm sorry Nick!

11. From Brainling:

Ran an illegal Ebay theft and resale ring out of my apartment. I flew home to Texas to go to a family funeral and two days in to the trip had FBI Special Agents calling my phone, and telling me they had confiscated all the computers in my house.

I was cleared of all wrong doing, the FBI agents said it was clear I had no idea what was going on...but lesson learned. If your roommate is cagey with you about how they pay rent, it's probably not good.

12. From pdp_8:

She used to bring guys home from the bar, start f*cking them (should mention it was a studio apartment with 4 of us living there) and then midway through freak out, start screaming, cussing, and beating the shit out of the guy she was in the middle of fucking. Poor bastards would usually end up in the hallway still trying to pull their underpants on and frequently didn't get all their clothes.

Then she'd weep for some period of time while using a vibrator.

And no, I am not kidding.

13. From TheKingofBananas:

My roommate is one of my best buds but he has his vices. His class schedule starts much earlier than mine and when he showers in the morning he plays Lose Yourself on full volume. Every. Damn. Day. As soon as I hear those opening piano keys in any situation I wanna vomit.

14. From DefenestratedEgo:

He sh*t. In the mother. F*cking. Kettle.

F*ck you, John.

15. From Pleasurechef:

He was the "I drive better when I'm drunk" type. He had bottles of chew spit all around the apartment. Never cleaned. Some how when he showered something on him prompted mold or something to grow in the shower. I had to remove it multiple times. Then I found out he hadn't payed rent for 4 months. I've got more...

16. From MisterPhamtastic:

Killed my rabbit and used his bones to form some sort of makeshift Satanic summoning ritual thing on her bed.

I wish I was making this up.

I didn't even confront her, the next night when I knew she was working late at McDonald's I got a friend with a truck and got all of my shit out of there.

Probably the most stressful time of my college years.

EDIT: Thank you everyone for the kind words, this was probably the worst time of my life as I was getting clusterf*cked by stress because I had to juggle being poor in college, a sh*tty work study job, and a 21 Credit semester load so I could certify into a pretty competitive major. On top of that my roommate that I lived with initially straight up just dropped out of school and moved out without informing me a week before bills were due, I only made enough money to cover my portion and so I had to get a random roommate on Craigslist to come in.

My parents come from a very spiritual background so I've been raised not to f*ck with stuff of this nature, I'm not even going to look into whether or not this crazy thing even worked and I never want to see her again. Although if I did see her again she's getting a roundhouse to the face because my rabbit was awesome.

Moral of the story: Don't use Craigslist for roommates.

17. From Titsticular_Cancer:

Oh boy, where do I even start? I'll just make a list.

I shared a 12x12 dorm room with her, for reference.

She would free bleed and leave trails of her period blood from our room to the bathroom and not clean it up.

She would leave crusty underwear on the floor on my side of the room, next to my bed, while at the same time she insisted we divide the room with tape, and freaked out if anything of mine crossed that border for 2 seconds.

She was 18 and had a creepy 31 year old fiance she had been with for six years (you can do the math) that stayed over every weekend, and watched her asleep over Skype every week night, with me in view of the camera.

She smelled so bad that other students in our hall started making complaints about the stench coming from our room.

The first thing she said to me when I met her was, "I'm bi, but you need to know that I don't find you attractive." As if I was going to be disappointed by that news.

She had a bunch of plants in the room that I was allergic to that were making me miserable, and she refused to get rid of them.

I also used to have a roommate who did meth in our basement and stole a bunch of my money, that was also pretty sh*tty.

18. From Connie_Damico:

Stole my old phone and some other electronics to sell on craigslist for rent money. He gave the landline phone number (mine) for call backs. I was taking a message for him and asked what it was about, when the caller described wanting to buy "the bedazzled sidekick"...I started looking thru my things and figured it out.

19. From Mypopsecrets:

I lived with a guy who charged me and another guy an extra fifty dollars a month saying the rent had gone up, only to find out he was pocketing it all along.

20. From Victoria_Lucas:

I had a roommate once who would leave her tampons on top of the window sill in our restroom. After asking her her, she would always say she was too lazy to throw it in the trash on the other side of the restroom.

“Daylight time, a monstrosity in timekeeping.”

-Harry S. Truman

If you're exhausted after losing an hour of sleep this weekend, you're not alone. The coffee is flowing today and so are the hilarious memes. Stay awake and stay laughing.

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Some dates are incredible and lead to lasting and loving relationships (or at least a hot fling), while others go down as horror stories to be told at happy hours for years to come.

While the storybook dates are far more pleasant to experience and look back on, the nightmare dates are way more entertaining stories to share with the world. Sometimes the best distraction from the abyss of life stress is a good old laugh over the horrible dates of yore.

In a popular Reddit thread, people shared their absolute nightmare dates, and it just confirms that the road to love is paved with dinners from hell.

1. OP kicked it off with a horror story:

So I've known this guy for almost a year now, not really good friends or anything, more of casual acquaintances (we have a bunch of common friends and see each other from time to time, parties etc). A couple of months ago he started messaging me, first on Facebook, then by text (he got my number from a friend, he didn't ask me for it) and most of the time I responded just to be polite. He's nice enough, but not really my type.. so when he started dropping hints about 'meeting up', I just turned him down and said I'm busy, or we'd just catch up the next time there's a gathering with our friends, that sort of thing.

Fast-forward to last week and he asked me out again, which IIRC is the 6th time in the past 2 months. I finally decided to at least give him a chance, cos hey what could go wrong anyway, and who knows what I'm missing and all that jazz. Worst-case scenario it would be awkward, but we've talked more than a few times so I was thinking it can't be that bad and we could actually have a pleasant time.

Date night comes and we meet up in the city after work. We have dinner; nice, cutesy Japanese place.. conversation was okay.. I was certain at this point that it's really not going to take off, he really isn't my type.. but I was having a pleasant enough time and he was a total gentleman and not bad to talk to.

The bill comes, and I was going to suggest a quick coffee before heading home. However, he said that there's something he'd made an appointment for us for and we need to rush off to make it in time. I was a bit intrigued and excited; was it a movie, or a show, a play (he knows I'm into theater)? So we hurry off and he took me to a high-end luxury mall with an attached wing for offices...we went up...wait, this is an office lobby.

It was a f*cking weight-loss center.

So he explains that he's part of this company (he works for them on a part-time basis as a distributor) and he wanted to introduce me to their products which would 'revolutionize' my lifestyle and make the healthier I've ever been in my entire life. (FYI I'm 5'5" and 135lbs). I was totally stunned at this point so I was just nodding like an idiot the whole time we were walking inside. He then left me with his smarmy 'teammates', who proceeded to give me an orientation about their company and a run-through of their health supplements (when he got to the part where the weight-loss products are, the smarmiest one said, "Oooh now this is what you've been waiting for, I saved the best for last!")

I just sat through it because I knew that if I started to say something, I was definitely going to burst and make a spectacle of myself (there was a seminar ongoing and we were at a little table to the side). After I flat-out said that I'm not interested in any of the products and frankly don't believe that I need health supplements (I eat well and exercise regularly), they started on the 2nd phase: introducing me to the 'business' aspect of it.

Basically, it was a networking model of business where you not only sell the products, you also recruit people to sell them and they would be under your 'team', and you get a commission for every sale they make. They rhapsodized about the wonders of the product, how easy it is to sell, and how much money I could be making because they could tell I have the right kind of 'personality' and 'network' for it. Registration was 'only' $1,000, and it was consumable in products...which I could either use or sell to get my registration money back immediately.

I wish I could say I flipped the f*cking table and screamed at them to f*ck themselves with their health supplements and hope they overdose on their products, but no.. right after the 'talk' I just said I should head home since it was getting a bit late.

The guy actually messaged me to say that he had a good time and he hopes to see me again.. and that I would reconsider their products and the 'business opportunity'.

I called some friends up and went out for drinks because f*ck your health supplements that's why.

TL;DR Went on a date, guy brought me to weight-loss seminar, tried to sell me $1,000 worth of weight-loss products, and then tried to recruit me to join their networking business.

2. From FancySchmantz:

When I was a teenager I worked at a retail store in the mall and a guy who worked a few stores down would always come in and talk to me. He was super sweet and genuine and would randomly take me to lunch/bring me coffee and the like. It was nice to just have someone to talk to and who seemed genuinely interested in me and what I had to say. He asked me on a date a few times and I always declined.

I don't like the idea of dating someone who I work with/work next to (just in case it goes sour) After a month or two I finally agree to go on a date with him, because good guys are hard to find! I couldn't just let him pass by. He picks me up at my house and on our way to dinner we get into a car accident. The driver's side was t-boned pretty badly and we ended up having to go to the hospital where he contacted his roommate..... who then contacted my date's girlfriend.

3. From thethirst:

After my freshman year of college I met a guy on OK Cupid and we went to get dinner at Friday's as our first date. Offered to give me a ride, but I said no.

He was a couple years older, well dressed and started talking about how he'd started his own business after college and it was going well. Good for him! Bragging a bit but hey that's an accomplishment.

So after we order he says "Let's play a game. We'll each take out our wallets and compare what's in them." Wasn't a joke, literally started showing me his credit cards and bragging about the high limits, ending with "Clearly you can't afford to pay for this dinner, but don't worry I can cover you." I was pissed and protested but he wouldn't take no for an answer.

So as we leave he says he wants to show me his car. Unfortunately it was before mine in the lot so I had to walk by it. It was a white, windowless serial killer van. He begged me to f*ck him in it, right there in the Friday's parking lot.

I was pretty glad I drove separately.

4. From UptightSodomite:

A guy I had met three days previously offered to pick me up and "hang out". I was cool with that, but he ended up dragging me around on errands (we went to his dentist appointment) and then when I said I wanted to leave, he said he'd give me a ride home but only in exchange for a blow job.

I was pretty scarred about dating after that.

And no, I didn't give him a blow job, I got out right there and walked to a bus stop.

5. From Shakin_bacon:

I went on a date with a guy that I met online. He told me to dress nice and that he was going to take me out for dinner. He took me to Subway, ordered a foot long teriyaki chicken sub. He looked at me and said, "I hope you like teriyaki chicken". We shared the sub in his car.

Safe to say there was no second date.

6. From sirdigbyckncaeser:

Went to pick a girl up at her house after meeting on a dating website. She seemed significantly larger than her photo, but only in the lower abdominal region. This is when I realized that she had failed to mention that she was pregnant.

7. From Sieberella:

Similar story. Guy I worked with kept asking me out, I continuously said no. After about a year, I started to feel bad for the guy and said yes to a date. He asked me to lunch so I figured it could be a quick easy "date". He picked me and took me to Wendy's...where he made me order off the dollar menu...and I could only get two things. After this very quiet lunch where he hunkered over his chicken nuggets like I would steal them he said he needed to stop at Walmart.

We go in and he heads to the lotion section. Strange, but whatevs. He then grabs two scented lotions and asks which one I like better. Being nice I pick one, and he responds with "great! I'll use this for your massage!" O.O luckily I had to work in two hours and told him the massage would have to wait. I spent the next three months trying to avoid him until he quit.

8. From anacondatmz:

I met this cute girl in college. I asked her out a couple times, she was really into me (numerous occasions we sat in a coffee shop for 6-7-8 hours talking the night away), but couldn't do anything about it as she was seeing someone else. Ok fair enough. I'm a little persistent, we hang out on an off, 6 months later after she and her significant other break up (or so I was told), we start seeing each other.

Fast forward 8 months and she's at my place 6-7 days a week, has taken over half my condo with her stuff, we commute to work together, I'm having supper with her parents, always hanging out with her sisters and their boyfriends, she's always over at my parents, things are going really well. I was crazy about her. Part of the family and all that good stuff.

About a week before Xmas she sits me down and basically says that she never really broke up with her boyfriend, he was just out west. He was coming home and we were over. She was just seeing me "on the side" and quite frankly didn't understand why I wasn't seeing someone else at the same time - seeing how "we weren't all that serious".

Excuse me what?!

9. From tillydimples:

On my first date with a guy off an internet dating site, he took us to the Scientology museum in London. I thought "Hmmm, original, easy to find things to talk about/ laugh at the craziness of, this could be fun."

Then he proceeded to read every, single, piece of writing on every, single exhibit, ask the attendant very probing questions about how one goes about joining scientology etc. etc. and sounding slightly too interested to just be intrigued about a religion. Also he was visibly sweating.

Once we were done there we went for a glass of wine and he told me he used to shoot heroin.

I was out of there like a shot.

10. From sweetexasmarty:

When I was young and stupid I dated a guy with a temper. He would get mad about something stupid like saying goodbye too quickly on the phone, pick a fight and we'd break up. He would call a day or two later and we would make up. After a few months I had figured out the cycle and I was fed up. So, when he picked a fight as usual I ended it and then didn't take him back. While we were dating I had become close with his sisters and his mom loved me. We had scheduled a girls lunch and his sister begged me to go.

I finally said yes and went. Everything was fine and I had a great time. The whole lunch was probably 2 hours long. At the end I walked to their car with them and the mom grabbed me and said, "Hear him!." Out of the car comes her son (WTF!) who was trying to explain to me why we should be together. I just walked past him to my car as he ran after me.

He ended up picking a fight with me because "it was my fault we broke up and I didn't even call him so he could fix it." Then he threw rocks at my car as I drove away. I wish I had a picture of what my face looked like when he came out of that car. I never spoke to him again and never accepted another invitation from his family.

11. From smootie:

I'm sure this has happened to everyone who has dated online:

I met a guy online who seemed really nice. We exchanged a few emails and got along well enough, so we decided to meet up for a matinee. We exchanged pics so that we could ID each other at the theater where we were meeting.

I show up, expecting to see the heavy-set dude around my age because that's what his profile (and pic) said. Instead, he was about 20 years older and 100 lbs heavier than his picture. I am a fairly open-minded person when it comes to dating, and I know that many folks embellish, but c'mon!

We watched our movie in silence, and politely parted ways.

12. From clerk_kent:

There's been a few but the absolute worst was the woman who turned up to the pub with literally no money, expecting me to buy her drinks and dinner. I wouldn't have minded if she'd have told me beforehand but this was completely out of the blue.

So anyway, we sat there making awkward conversation, or at least I tried to start a conversation, told her about my life, asked her questions. She was too busy texting and phoning her friends to really take notice.

So eventually we did get talking, and then out of nowhere, she told me that she killed her dog. Not accidentally either. I just upped and left and avoided all contact. That was 2 years ago.

13. From Jemstar:

I met a local dude on OKCupid and we decided to meet up one night to hang out. He took his penis out in my car because he thought we would have sex. Not okay, sir. Not okay.

14. From KoreyYrvaI:

All right, I'll post one. So I went on a couple dates with this girl and she was giving me some signs that she was ready to get a little physical. So I lean in close and try to kiss her, and she turns her face away from me. Stunned I end up going home and thinking it was over between us. Later on, she contacts me and starts hinting we should go out again. I decide to go for it, again, after getting some heavy hints and she pushes me away. So now I just ask, what's going on? She says, "I am on dates with you so I don't feel like I'm undesirable, but I'm not attracted to you."

She called me the next day and I told her I'm not dating people who make me feel undesirable, then hang up.

15. From Rowsdowerr:

In college this guy from one of my classes asked me to go out with him out of the blue (we'd never even talked before) but he was pretty cute so I said sure. We exchanged numbers and he said he'd call me with details. He called the next day and told me we were going to a resturaunt that was WAY out of my price range. We're talking like no way will this bill will be under $100. I tried talking him out of it and when that didn't work flat out saying I couldn't afford something like that but he insists and tells me not to worry (this all really should have been a clue to me).

So I say fine and agree to go. We get to the resturaunt and the waiter comes over and I go to order (the cheapest thing on the menu) when he stops me and says "Ignore her, we're both having the steak." "But I don't like steak." "She's just saying that because she's poor. We'll have steak." and shoos the waiter away. I'm mortified and pissed and want to leave but he was my ride.

He tries to make conversation and just proves to me that he really is an a*s. Then he says he has to go to the bathroom and leaves. I'm sitting there for a good 10 min. Before he text me "Hahaha I got the sh*ts from drinking last night don't eat without me." that was the last straw I call the waiter over, pay for my meal, and go to the Starbucks down the street to call my friend to pick me up. tl:dr Guy was trying to impress me and was the worlds biggest a*s.

EDIT: just to clear some things up: I paid for just my meal, not his. And I'm well aware I didn't owe him anything I just wanted to make a clean break from this guy.

16. From icannevertell:

A girl I had just met asked me out, she wanted to take me to dinner. We end up at this little Italian place, she says she knows someone that works there. When our waiter arrives, he appears visibly shaken, stuttering. She introduces me to him, this is her friend she mentioned before. I can see it right away, this guy has a thing for her, and here she is introducing him to her date.

She then bugs him for special orders and asks if we can get our meals free. He really seems upset, but gives her the "anything for you" look and agrees, I decline and pay for my own meal. I felt really bad for this guy, I could just see his torment at watching this girl date someone else. She was very attractive and very friendly, I assumed he just got friendzoned.

I hung out with her a few more times, but backed off of the romantic part. Then I found out that the guy from the restaurant was her ex-boyfriend, who she had just dumped a few days before and had been dating since high school (this was 2-3 years after I graduated).

tl;dr: girl tried to get her recent ex-bf to serve me free food.

17. From internetsuperhero:

Ahh...I have been in this situation. But not as a date. Here is my story

So I'm working at Borders (This was around the time that it had just gone into voluntary administration in Australia) and I'm chatting to a customer for a bit about how I'm trying to find work as a freelance graphic designer while finishing up uni. She mentions to me that she might have some work for me. I give her my card and think I've totally found a new client.

She invites me to a local coffee shop to 'chat' and I'm really excited about some prospective work. During our coffee chat, she asks me what I do. "Okay.. she must have forgotten" I thought. I told her I do graphic design and she goes 'Ooohhh cool! I used to do graphic design too! But I dont need to do that anymore' This is where I think.. hang on.. why is she even talking to me?

So she pretty much was trying to recruit me to pretty much become her lacky and sign up for a pyramid scheme, where i can sell vitamins and whatnot, get people i know to work for me and earn even MORE money and get cool shit like holidays and loads of money and gift cards and clothes and everything. But she just would. not. stop. selling it to me. I regret giving her my card. I got a text from her the other day saying that we should catch up. Yeah. No.

So pretty much, this friend of yours seems to be milking every single acquaintance he knows. Acquaintances are good because they are not close friends, but they are still connections. This lady I met seemed to wave to a lot of people, so I'm assuming she had tried to poach them from their monotonous retail jobs as well.

Honestly, the best thing to do is just ignore his texts and emails and whatnot. Works a charm.

18. From IceRay42:

Fun story time!

I'd been seeing this girl for a few weeks, and it wasn't exactly fireworks, but we got on all right, and it was the first time I'd actually tried dating someone after breaking up with my ex-fiancee, so I wasn't looking for a home run. She'd told me she was pagan at the outset and I assured her I didn't mind, as long as she didn't try to force it down my throat. For her part, she was true to her word, but it should've been a red flag from the word go. So anyway: She tells me she's leaving town for the weekend to go to a pagan convention (or gathering or somesuch) a few towns over for the weekend and she was excited about it. For my part, I wanted to try to be supportive and non judgmental about her beliefs, so I offered to accompany her, but she said she'd be fine and would call me when she got home.

So I'm at home, playing internet video games in my underwear Sunday afternoon when I get a call from her (a day early) and she's panicked and sobbing on the other end, and it's only after much bleating and confusion that she's able to get out that she needs to see me ASAP. So I go full hero-boyfriend mode, immediately drop what I'm doing (I even put on pants!) and race over to her place thinking something awful has happened.

I burst through her door rapid-firing questions like "What's wrong?" "What happened?" "Who did this to you?" and "How can I help?" and she eventually tells me that she ran into an ex-boyfriend (also pagan) while at the convention, and that they'd had sex. I felt my gut drop out. Rape. One of my closest friends had been raped a couple years prior and it was a nightmare I had no desire to witness again.

"So you were raped?"

"Well....no."

"But you had sex with him?"

"Yes."

"<Hername> I know it can be scary to admit, but I'm not going to think less of you if you were raped. You can tell me."

"Well, I WANTED to have sex with him."

Cue palpable confusion pause. I had to not only try to parse this new bit of information, but also shut down the Rape Reactions going on.

"You...wanted to have sex with him?"

"See it's like this. I like you a lot and I don't want to hurt you, but you have to understand he POSSESSED me."

"He...he what?"

"He has a strong dark magic aura that I succumb to whenever he's around. He makes me not myself."

I'm pretty hopelessly lost at this point. I've tried to respect her beliefs up to this point but this is a bit of a tough pill for me to swallow. I tried to gain solid footing one last time.

"Possession sounds like it was against your will. If that's the case, it was rape, and we should go to the police department."

"No no. It wasn't rape. It's just that the dark magic clouds my mind with desires."

"...So, basically, you're openly admitting to me that you slept with another guy, and you're trying to rationalize it with something you know I don't believe in."

At this point she blew up on me. She was furious that I wasn't more sympathetic to her dark magic plight, and couldn't believe I could be so callous and selfish. After about ten minutes of cyclical yelling. I just turned to leave and told her to have a nice life. I'm not normally this witty, so you'll pardon me for including my snarky exit one liner. As I opened the door she screamed at me

"What, you don't even LIKE ME anymore?! Just ALL OF THE SUDDEN?!"

Calmly, I turned around, gave her a sarcastic grin and made jazz hands and said

"It's like magic." and then left.

EDIT: Okay obligatory "let's nip this misconception in the bud" thing. Addressing the "You kinda jumped the gun on rape." thing. Yeah. Yeah I did. I want you to take "crisis level panic inducing racking sobs" and add in "I had sex with someone but clearly dont' look happy about it" and see what your first assumption is.

Again, it's something I have experience with, and it's not an easy thing to admit happened. Think long and hard about whether or not you'd rather be the guy that's overly worried it's rape when it's just a stupid cheating space case (the conclusion I settled on anyway), or if you want to risk being the person yelling at someone who has just been raped for cheating on you.

I'll gladly make an a*s out of myself every now and again to avoid being the latter.

19. From area88guy:

Back in high school, there was a very beautiful girl named Melissa in a few of my classes. This was the mid to late nineties, and pregnant teenagers weren't as common as they are now, so I think it added to her mystique that she had a child. It never bothered me, though. I just thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. So, any chance I got to be around her, I took it.

She needed a tutor? Check. Someone to talk to? Check.

I never had the guts to ask her out, though. I wasn't much of a looker myself in high school, so it took me a pretty darn long time to do it. Finally, I did, and she said yes! I can't remember how it went down, but I think we decided that I'd pick the restaurant, she'd pick something else to do.

So, she shows up with her sister. That should have been my cue to NOPE it back inside my house. But, I didn't, because I was an idiot. We went to eat, and then she said she had a "surprise" for me that she thought I'd really enjoy. I was excited; did she really plan something?

We pull up to a small convention center and start to head in. I'm already starting to WTF it when we make our way towards one of the rooms, and there it is. Clear as day on a sign out front of the door.

Amway.

I cannot describe my internal anguish and feelings of absolute fail during the lecture and the meetup afterwards. They didn't even sit with me; we'd arrived late, and they moved to open seats on one side while I sat on the other.

I barely remember how I answered the inundation of Amway people's questions, but somehow I made it through the evening. I remember never even seeing Melissa or her sister during this time, and as we finally met up to go home, I was utterly destroyed.

We got home, she looks me dead in the eyes and tells me that she had a really nice time tonight. I echoed the sentiment, told her sister it was nice to meet her, and went inside.

Never even looked at Melissa again.

20. From Pt5PastLight:

So my friend scored a date with a girl he'd had a crush on for years. A super hot crush with a strict and religious family. He tells me he needs me to come on a double date because she will only go out with him if her cousin can come along.

Well off we go and her cousin is surprisingly hot too. This favor seems to be working out in my favor. The plan is to start with an "Irish picnic" on the private beach (we sat on benches and drank a beer). My date has one beer and starts to act odd. She tells me I'm so good looking, she's whispering and giggling with her cousin. Then another group shows up and we all start chatting. Somehow she offers to give one of the guys there a ride home as we're leaving to go do whatever was next. She pulls him into the back seat and her cousin sits next to her for some reason. The sun has gone down and this guy only lives 5 minutes away.

We're driving for like a minute when my buddy leans over and whispers, "Dude, she's blowing that guy!". I look back as a streetlight lights them up. Oh yes she is! To be clear, we are all in the same car.

Now we drop off BJ guy who is like, "Thanks guys!!". And this is where the night gets worse.

My buddy says, "I need you to just come with us to eat. I'm sorry but I'll pay!" He's super intense about it but also I'm starting to laugh about this blatant sluttiness and his date just looks so embarrassed. So I grudgingly say fine.

We're driving like 5 minutes again and this girl is still trying to talk to me from the back seat. Then she leans forward and starts to kiss my neck! I pull away and tell her to stop. This happens maybe 10 more times and her cousin is restraining her and is mortified. I'm leaning forward in my seat to get away from crazy. Ok, she is too crazy for a restaurant so my buddy decides to do a nearby, local cheese-steak place that is pretty popular.

We get inside and my friend starts laughing at me. He tells me to check my neck in the mirror. Yes, I somehow have a crazy slut hickey! I don't even have time to lose my shit on this girl when she hops over the counter and starts yelling an order into the microphone at the register. "We'll have fries!"

We dragged her back out to the car and sat her in the back seat. I stood guard from outside the car (so she couldn't blow any passerby or anything), while my friend had a dinner date. The whole time the crazy girl was begging me to please please f her and trying to climb out. I though less of her cousin for leaving her but she said she needed to wait for her to sober up or whatever before they could go home. That took about two more hours of annoying.

I actually saw her the next day and she couldn't look anyone in the eyes or talk to us. There was no second date for anyone.

TL;DR Girl had one beer and went crazy. Blew another guy on my date.

Long-distance friendships are tough...and so are grudges.

A woman wrote into the Reddit"Am I The A**hole?" forum to get strangers' opinions on whether or not it's a jerk move to skip a friend's bachelorette party because she isn't an official bridesmaid.

The poster, NotAFridgeF*cker, can afford to schlep to the city three times, but because she wasn't invited into the wedding party, she'd rather not.

She sets the scene with the background on their friendship:

Melissa (33F) and I (32F) have been close friends since we were 18/19 year old college freshmen. We met at our dorm and moved in together in sophomore year. We lived together in the dorm for two years before getting an apartment off campus together, and after graduation we moved together to a new city and lived together there for a few more years, until she moved in with her boyfriend.

We wound up moving to different parts of the country but stayed close, text daily, and visit often.

I got married last year and didn't want anyone to have to travel for my wedding, so we had a small ceremony with only our parents and a couple local friends. I didn't have a wedding party. We later had a reception at my home town which Melissa flew in for.

Now here's where the conflict comes in:

When Melissa and her boyfriend got engaged last year, she asked if I'd like to be in the wedding party, and I said "of course!" Recently, I learned that she'd chosen a wedding party, and I wasn't in it. I was pretty surprised by this and asked Melissa what was up, and she answered that she had to make hard choices but she needed people who were local to her. I get that. It hurt my feelings a little, but I understand the practical reasons.

Melissa's wedding is in December, and my spouse and I are planning to fly in for the wedding. Ahead of that, Melissa invited me to visit this summer so we could go see a favorite musical together when it does a limited run in her city. So I'm currently planning to fly over to see her twice this year.

Yesterday, she texted me to ask if I could also fly to see her in November for a "bachelorette weekend".

I'm financially comfortable, but that's a lot of travel, days off work, and so on to see this one person in a city I've already been to many times before. I love to travel, but I want to go new places! Of course, if I were in the bridal party, I would make this work and go to the bachelorette party, but since she didn't include me as a bridesmaid, I feel like there's no reason for me to put extra effort into this.

In my response, I demurred at first by telling her I'd check my schedule but might not be able to make it work out, but she pressed me further, saying she "really wants me there". Because we try to be honest with each other (and we'd discussed the wedding party issue before), I told her outright, "It would be one thing if I were a bridesmaid, but I think it's a bit much for you to ask me to travel out to see you three times this year when I'm not even in the wedding party."

The people are calling her a petty a**hole and even worse—a bad friend.

"YTA (You're the a**hole). You aren't [the a**hole] to not want to fly to her city 3x in 6 months. That's a lot of time and money. Its very petty to tie it to the bridesmaids thing though," throwaway1975764 ruled.

"By making it a 'I'm not in the wedding party' thing you are blaming her. But this is on YOU. You don't want to prioritize this. And its fine to not prioritize this, it's reasonable and sane. You are going in the summer, and in December. But own it. Own that you are choosing to not go. Don't act like its on her you made this personal decision; That's AH territory."

vanastalem ventured into some psychoanalysis:

YTA for how you handled it, you could have just told her three trips was too expensive/too much vacation time. You said you understood why she picked local people for the wedding party, but you seem to be holding a grudge.

NotAFridgeF*cker earnestly thanked the jury for helping her see the error of her ways, and will talk to her therapist about it—not just Reddit:

I'm the a**hole for bringing up the bridesmaid thing again. Thanks, guys! I'll talk that over with my therapist before trying to talk to Melissa about it again. Obviously there's a lot more going on in my head than just whether I get to carry a bouquet for two minutes or not, and I need to resolve some deeper sh*t.

Oh, don't we all.

Traditionally, firing people is the boss' job—not the other way round. But if you have a cruel or unreasonable boss, you've probably dreamt of getting them fired. It might even be the fantasy that keeps you at work every day until 5 pm. And I'm here to tell you not to let go of hope, because sometimes, dreams do come true.

Someone asked Reddit: "People who’ve gotten their bosses fired: how?" These 22 people share their stories of workplace karma being served:

1.) From [deleted]:

He grabbed the back of my neck and said "If you ever say I'm wrong in front of a customer again I will beat your ass."

I went to the GM and told him and my supervisor was relieved of his duties about 5 minutes later

2.) From yowiezowie:

I took a cell phone video of her taking money from the safe and putting it in her wallet. I knew she was doing it, and I also knew that the moment it came out that money was missing she'd blame it on me.

She was so stupid that she didn't realize she should stop doing that while I was standing ten feet away with my phone out and facing her.

3.) From karatelemon:

The CEO publicly praised me for completing a task that my boss had struggled with, so my boss retaliated by forwarding all of his tasks to me in an effort to overwhelm me with work. I actually found his job pretty manageable, which the CEO also noticed and fired him, giving me his job and office.

4.) From redgroupclan:

TL;DR: GF (18) starts cheating on me with supervisor (31), I tell his boss, he gets fired, he tells GF to f*ck off for ruining his life, GF and I break up, I tell supervisors wife he was cheating on her and now they're divorced.

My supervisor was a 31 year old who had just gotten married a year ago. He was known for hitting on any young girl at work he could. I was dating a girl at work who was 18. My GF and supervisor became really good friends. I mean realllly good friends. He sold her his Mercedes at a verrrry steep "friend discount". She got promotion after promotion that she frankly didn't deserve or have the experience or availability for. She very rarely had to even perform the responsibilities of these promotions.

It was obvious to everyone what was going on. There was something between my GF and our supervisor, though to this day she still insists there wasn't. I could TELL our supervisor was straight up trying to win her over. They would go on dates (not dates in her eyes) and when he found out her and I were dating he told her he would fire me. She was seeing him a lot more than she was seeing me. I tried to express my concerns to her about all this, like maybe this isn't what it looks like and I just need to hear her side. She got defensive and huffy and said he's just a "really really REALLY good friend". At that point there was nothing I could do because if I told her to stop seeing him, he'd know I was the cause and fire me. One night I was closing the store while they were together at midnight doing who knows what. She decided to stop by and hang with me for the rest of the night. Our supervisor dropped her off with the intention that a non-working employee would be let into the store after close - a security violation. That's where I got him.

I went to the owners and exposed the supervisor. I told them about how he is fraternizing with an employee, which is against policy for a supervisor, and I told them about how he brought her to the store one night with the intention of violating security policy. The owners asked some other employees about the situation and they all agreed you could tell just by looking at them that something wrong was going on.

Supervisor was fired. GF became ex-GF. Supervisor wanted nothing to do with her anymore since he got fired because of her. I googled the supervisors name and found out where he lived. I had someone he wouldn't recognize (in case HE answered the door) knock on his door and tell his wife exactly what he had been up to, about how he had been trying to get with an 18 year old girl. They are now divorced.

That's what you get for trying to steal my girlfriend and ruining our relationship. Both of them can burn in hell. My ex-GF still doesn't think she did anything wrong.

5.) From irishmuminacoldland:

It was my supervisor. It got to the point that I had decided to quit. I had my resignation letter in my purse, but decided to let his boss know why I was quitting. Supervisor would talk about all the people on our team constantly, but only behind their backs. I got so sick of telling him to cut it out. My husband and I happened to work at the same place (different departments) and my Supervisor would make sexual comments about threesomes (with him - ewww), what hotel we picked for our afternoon delight, shit like that. It was so bloody uncomfortable. Apart from this he spent most of his supervising time outside smoking. Problem was Supervisor was "one of the guys" and I was the only girl.

Turns out his boss was disgusted, told his boss who lost his mind. They started an investigation which took three days. They interviewed staff - they corroborated what I said. They checked the security cameras, saw he was spending most of his work day outside smoking. And was fired.

When he was told he guessed (wasn't hard!) that I was the person who complained and tried to get to me to "apologize that I took it the wrong way". The best feeling was my co workers surrounding me as he was waled out. That was a lovely ending to it all.

6.) From grizzfan:

Was working maintenance at an ice rink. The rule for anyone who knows how an ice rink works is if the zamboni doors open, you get the f*ck off the ice. Some dick-head decided to ignore the fact that they were open and that I was standing in the doorway, and decided to rip off one last slap-shot. The puck bounced off the glass and hit me in the head.

I was OK, but reported it to my boss, because we have to fill out an incident report for things like that. The boss asked "Are you OK?" I said I feel OK, then he responded with "Well, we don't really have to report it then do we?" I reminded him of the protocol, but it was clear he didn't want to do it. Since he wouldn't do it, I sent a descriptive email of the incident up to the administration, because I felt there should be some sort of documentation/paper trail in case god-forbid I ended up having a brain hemorrhage or something a few days later.

The boss was fired by my next shift.

7.) From Nymaz:

Our desks were separated by a 5 foot cubicle wall. He was under the mistaken impression that it totally blocked sound. Thus I got to hear all his loud phone conversations, primarily his booty calls including those with his boss's fiance. I figured it was none of my business and tried to ignore it.

Well there was a position in another department that I was interested in and as per procedure I handed in an application to my talkative boss. Didn't hear anything further and followed up a couple of days later, only to be told that something must have happened to the application. Filled out another one and handed it in. As I return to my desk I hear the boss on the phone with a friend laughing about how he had just trashed my application again and how he was never going to let go of me.

I go to boss's boss and angrily offer my resignation, telling him what I had just overheard, explaining that I was constantly hearing his phone calls like his booty calls like with <woman's name> and <woman's name> and <boss's boss's fiance's name>. He got very quiet and told me to go back to my desk and he'll take care of everything. The next day I come in and boss is gone. The day after, I have an interview with the other department (got the position).

I tend to avoid office drama, but really, he should have stuck to screwing his boss's fiance, and not tried to screw me as well.

8.) From sonnykeyes:

My boss hired me at a surprisingly good salary, and got me two raises in the first 5 years. When the work slowed down to our department, he defended all his employees to management. They fired him the same day they fired me.

9.) From AkariAkaza:

Phoned him to tell him I won't be at work for the rest of the week as my mum is terminally ill in hospital.

The next day (about an hour after she passed away) he phoned and asked why I wasn't at work, I just hung up on him so I wouldn't say anything that would get me in trouble.

The next day I sent the area-manager a Whatsap message explaining what he'd be done and attached a video of him breaking the freezer door while having a tantrum which cost the store nearly £5000 in lost stock and the repair costs (which he'd told the AM it broke on its own). He got fired that day and I got 2 weeks off with full pay

10.) From blipsman:

About 13-14 years ago, I was working as a web designer for a dot com. In our immediate group were a creative director, a creative manager, and 2 of us who were designers and we were all part of the marketing dept.

The creative director was a joke. Brought in by the previous VP of Marketing who he was friends with, he hardly did any work himself, and just played online poker waiting on us to send him things for approval. And he'd never stick around late when the rest of us needed to stay late to hit a deadline or deal with a crisis, etc. The creative manager, who'd been in charge for a couple years before the creative director's hiring, still ran the day to day.

So the creative manager gave his notice that he'd accepted a new job, and when I met with the current VP of marketing to discuss transition, I mentioned that the creative director would need to step up and pull his weight. I guess a similar message was expressed by a number of people, and less than a week after the creative manager's last day the creative director was fired!

This kind of sucked because we went down from 4 to 2 people in our group. I was appointed acting creative manager, and we eventually did hire one more designer. I left the company a couple months later, too, after the latest VP of Marketing was let go and there was going to be a 10th different person overseeing marketing in my 5 years there.

And the asshole creative director? He'd reached out at some point (looking for files for his portfolio, I think?), and it happened to be in the 2 week window where I'd accepted my next job but hadn't yet started so I mentioned my new position. Well, he fires off a copy of his resume to the company president and tried to poach my new job out from under me! On my first day at the new job, the president mentioned that somebody else from that same company also applied for the job and forwarded me the application email to see if I knew him... saw that the date was after he and I had last communicated!

11.) From r48811:

I was fired because I "abandoned my job" while on short term disability, because wile on approved leave, they are a date for me to return, never informed me (by their own admission), and when I obviously didn't return to work... i was fired.

The locker I had at work had my work boots in it that the company pays $90 a year towards. However there isn't a pair under $100 available. So you always end up having some come out of your paycheck. At that point they are yours regardless of the company line. They disagreed and said they were thrown out, I reported them stolen, and the HR director responsible for getting me fired was fired.

12.) ​​​​​From awhq:

About 15 years ago, I worked at a major university in the IT department. After I was hired, it took me a couple of months to realize my boss was a sociopath as was his #2 guy.

Once I realized what I was dealing with, I just tried to keep my head down because I didn't want to job hop so soon after leaving my last job. But they made that impossible.

We had a database administrator and I was interested in becoming a DBA so I talked to him a lot about what I should do to transition from a programmer to a DBA. The VP of IT, my bosses boss, would stop by and talk to me and ask me about my aspirations, so I told her about wanting to be a DBA and that I was actually taking night classes so I could. This was a woman who my boss referred to as "she who must be obeyed" in a totally disrespectful manner.

As the months went on, I saw more and more egregious behavior by my boss and his #2 toady. We had a large corporation consulting on transition to their database. This included a young guy who was doing the database install including ordering the right equipment and migrating the data.

We also had student workers in our department. They were students who worked part time hours. One of these was a young woman. The big corp young guy and the young woman started going to lunch together. Apparently this was offensive to my boss, who threatened both of them with termination for "fraternization". The university had no such rule, my boss was just making it up as he went.

About 6 months after I was hired, the DBA quit. I went into our weekly staff meeting and at the end, my boss announces that I'd been promoted to DBA. My spidey senses were tingling because of his tone of voice and because this was the first I was hearing about it.

After the meeting, I went to his office to thank him and tell him I really appreciated the chance. He was very angry. Apparently, his boss had made him promote me. I had no idea.

The next thing I know, I'm being called into my boss's #2 guy's office. He tells me that performance reviews were coming up and I would have to be reviewed on job description of DBA rather than the job description of my old position. That is, unless I turned down the DBA position. Yep, he was threatening me to get me to turn down the promotion. I asked him to see the written description of my old position as well as the one for DBA. He couldn't give them to me because they didn't exist. Now, I can be a pretty stubborn bitch, and this really pissed me off. I didn't do anything wrong and now my job was being threatened.

Part of my job duties during the 6 months of my employment involved working with the head of every department of the university, including the legal department. I had a good working relationship with every head of every department.

So I made an appointment with the university's head counsel. I explained the situation to him including my boss's boss making him promote me and my boss threatening me with my performance review. I told him that, although I was studying to be a DBA, I was really not qualified to be one without some hard work and if the university didn't want me to take the position, I would absolutely turn it down. I also mentioned my boss's nickname for his boss and the issue with the student worker and the big corp guy. Apparently, the student worker had already filed a harassment complaint so the head counsel knew about it.

He told me I had been promoted by someone (boss's boss) who had every right to promote me and I should not worry about anything. He said if my boss gave me any more trouble that I should let him know.

A week later my boss and his #2 toady were fired. My boss ended up working at a small city college and is there to this day. I pity his employees.

I left the university about 2 years later and had a successful career as a DBA.

13.) From CrazyHussarHU:

My manager wanted to prove I'm slacking off so he could write me up. So he watched CCTV footages then wrote, printed out and SIGNED a detailed 17 pages worth of Word document what did I do in the past two days. With timestamps (like, 07:59 arriving, 08:01 speaking with co-worker A and B, 08:07 sitting down to my desk, etc.). He told me that he's not happy with my work ethics if I won't improve my efficiency, I'm fored. . I took the papers and showed to his boss and told her that I'm not happy with my managers work ethics and his efficiency might be better if he wouldn't watch 17 hours of CCTV footages to spy on an employee. She was terrified (it would've been a rock solid lawsuit for me - but I love my job) and we had to search for a new manager. Also, my salary raised.

14.) From forever_gaijin:

One summer I volunteered to help a conservation society in East Africa. The aim of the project was to educate the local rural population about poaching and to get them to help us stop it from the ground up.

Anyway, I was staying with the lead ranger and his family and on numerous occasions he served us meat that I'm 100% sure was poached. He tried to tell me that it was pork, but it was dark and gamey with lots of small bones. I think that it was small antelope like dikdik or duiker.

When I returned to Nairobi I mentioned to my grandpa (his boss's boss) that we'd eaten some odd meals. He investigated, and found out that my boss had a poacher friend who was selling him illegal meat. He was fired, I didn't feel guilty. Poaching is awful.

15.) From akujiki87:

I left my last company due to a bully of a gm. Many people were leaving over him causing problems, being sexist,racist,doing things people could easily sue them for claiming sexual harassment. List goes on. Everyone informed HR during their exit interviews, hell he even tried to make my exit interview not happen. Though they still weren't doing anything. I had been at my new job for a couple months now and was STILL getting complaints from my old team almost daily. So I made an email account and named Concerned company name Crew. Sent an email to EVERYONE who had an email account within the company explaining what he did/still did with events spanning from his start to the day prior. They fired him within the week and my old crew thanked me.

16.) From Aleyla:

I took a phone call on my cell when at my desk. Middle manager came up and screamed at me. Yelling about how I was not allowed to take calls for clients while at that office. I was a contractor and made it perfectly clear that I did work for multiple clients prior to doing work for this company.

The CTO’s office was 10 feet from mine. He came out and stood in his doorway listening to the rant. When the middle manager was done I just looked over at the CTO and said “it’s him or me and at the moment I don’t give a f*ck which you pick.” CTO walked the middle manager out right then.

Funny thing: I didn’t hang up throughout the incident. And it was my wife on the other end. I was spending about 70 hours a week at their site digging their staff out of a hole they had dug themselves in.

17.) From badmotherfolker:

Waited until my exit interview, then told our professional standards department that she had been bullying me the whole time I was there.

18.) From Gardengnostlc:

Not my boss but I helped my friend get her boss fired. He was a general manager, and always grabbing her sides, purposely scheduling her to have shifts alone with him, asking her for nudes, asking her to sleep with him, etc. She reported it so many times to the owner(big boss) and they said they couldn’t do anything because they hadn’t seen it and had no their reports other than her account. So I called and complained as a customer about how I witnessed him being creepy to her and how it made me uncomfortable. For the most part true lol, I just don’t shop there.

19.) From ElToberino:

He was presenting a PowerPoint that I had put together to all the managers in the building. There was something he wanted to add at the last minute that he had never told me about, and when it wasn't there, he verbally abused me for like 5 minutes straight. Yelling, name calling, telling me to prove to him that I had a college degree and wasn't just making it up. I was a contractor so I was afraid to complain to HR because I assumed they'd just fire me, but a lot of other people in the room did.

After the meeting, I went into the share drive folder to find the presentation notes where the extra information was supposedly located. I watched the last changed time change from a day ago to the current time, then he immediately called and said it was right there in the notes file.

He was fired the next day for unprofessional behavior.

20.) From FearlessLingonberry:

It was the night shift and for years this f*cking guy had been either locking himself in the office and playing video games all night, or going home and f*cking sleeping on the clock and no I'm not making that up. Finally one night the regional manager showed up for a surprise visit at like 3am...it was a group effort, the night crew took great pleasure in telling the RM exactly where his night manager was.

21.) From DontTrustTheScotts:

He was stealing $5k in parts for his personal cars. He also was turning customers into cash jobs for a discount and then pocketing about half the money.

I went to HR asked the proper way to report theft. I followed what HR has said and then We were both fired.

Best thing that ever happened to me tbh.

22.) From sullyonthemove:

My complete misogynist of a boss walked by my desk one day and goes "sweetie, I would never put you in front of customers with your blonde hair and your size 0 jeans". RIGHT in front of our president of sales, who happened to also be a woman. He was gone within a few hours, although I had already filed several grievances with HR. It was delightful.

A lot's changed since 2000, especially for students.

Twenty years ago, it was rare for a middle-schooler to have a cell phone. Nowadays, it's pretty much normal.

And it's not just technology. Even what we teach kids in school has changed. For instance, did you know cursive writing is now a rarity in the classroom?

In light of these changes, teachers are answering a question on Reddit: what's the difference between students in 2000, 2010 and 2020?

1. Remember passing notes? Apparently, today's students will never know such joy.

Teacher here. [...] h/t to some unknown user, as this response is not originally mine.

2000: "Please stop passing notes."

2010: "Please stop texting."

2020: "Seriously? You're streaming Netflix right now?" - Daveb138

2. Kids' behavior is becoming less violent — but it might be because of phone addiction.

The biggest difference I've seen is that as the years progress, students become in general more tolerant/accepting, less violent, and more hooked into their phones.

Also, kids are hyper-aware of fashionable trends and personal image/grooming, to the point that I'm left wondering if teenage "awkward" years even exist anymore. - failing_forwards

3. Teachers are siding with parents less and less.

my dad taught middle school from 1968-2004, when he retired i asked him what changes he saw in students from the beginning of his teaching career to the end. he answered; "the kids never changed. a teenager is always a teenager. the parents however, changed dramatically. they used to respect teachers and side with us in disciplinary matters, but now they think their kids are perfect and we are wrong. glad i'm getting out before it gets worse." - MelisaVerrett

4. Students no longer take notes, they take pictures.

Students now take pictures of things I write on the board or have on PowerPoints. Some still take notes on paper or on laptops/tablets of course, but especially for tables or data that has layouts or graphics involved, out come the phone cameras! - SereinOfLanden

5. Students are somehow getting nicer.

The biggest difference for me is just that my 2020 students are just nicer. They have a great deal of empathy and care for others. My seniors like to hang out with the freshmen and be cool. My girls are all nice to each other instead of being bitchy. My boys are open about their emotions and talk about their feelings freely.

And it isn't just the school I work in. Some of my friends have siblings in that age group that are at different schools and I see the same thing in them.

But nobody knows why:

I don't know what sparked the change. My 2010 kids were pretty standard "high school sucks and I hate everyone" kind of kids. Which I totally get, I was probably the same way. But my current students are just so kind it's hard to believe.

Say what you want, I'm excited for the next generation. They are seriously going to make the world a better place. - SalemScout

6. The "popular" paradigms have shifted a lot.

My nephews are both in high school at this point, and hearing them talk, a lot of the things that made you an outcast or loser 20 years ago are now the cool things. I graduated in 1999 and there wasn't a single "out" gay kid in my class (though obviously a few came out within the next few years). They probably figured (not without good reason sadly) they'd be socially ostracized AT BEST if they did. Now, it's not a big deal, hell you might become MORE popular even. - ironwolf56

7. Students are drinking more — more water.

The students drink waaaaaay more water than we did in high school. I think part of this is realizing how terrible soda is for you, especially if you're watching sugar content. When I was in high school, I remember a friend kept a 12 pack of Mountain Dew in her truck and had one every day after lunch. Students drank lots of soda and had to put Crystal Lite or some other kind of flavoring in their tap water to drink it. Another reason for this is that Hydroflasks, S'wells, Thermoflasks, Camelbaks, and good old Nalgene water bottles are all super trendy and a place students can personalize with stickers. These bottles also keep water colder, so people are more inclined to drink it. Hence, I allow them to use the bathroom when they need to because 90 minute periods + 4 cups of water = a mighty need to pee! - MissBonny

8. Student's don't torture each other or their teachers as much.

Cliques the way they are portrayed in teen movies don't really exist. Social groups are more fluid and based around extracurriculars, rather than popularity. Students are generally nicer to each other and their teachers. - MissBonny

9. Status obsession is dwindling.

The students aren't as materialistic as they were when I was in high school. The students aren't as interested in status symbols or brand names the way they were when I was a teenager. They don't generally like huge logos on their clothing and they don't really bully anyone if that person doesn't, let's say, have a Hydroflask water bottle, but rather a Contigo or a dollar store brand. I remember the opposite happening when I was a teenager. - MissBonny

10. What's the point of high school if you can't violate dress code to be cool?

Fashion trends are all over the place, but mostly break down into comfort rather than style. Mom jeans and turtlenecks or oversized sweaters are trendier than skinny jeans or hip huggers and a skin-tight henley from Hollister. On non-uniform days, the students mostly wear variations on the same outfit. Van slip-on sneakers, leggings, and a big school hooded sweatshirt. - MissBonny

11. RIP Uggs.

No one wears Uggs anymore. The "cool" brands are so much different now. No one shops at Hollister, American Eagle, Abercrombie and Fitch or Aeropostale anymore. Now it's all about Brandy Melville (and the cachet of fitting in their clothes), Lululemon, Victoria's Secret PINK, Fashion Nova, Amazon and H & M. Older girls like Zara. The trendiest "it" girls go to thrift stores. A lot of them are trying to avoid "fast fashion." - MissBonny

12. Social media might be knocking kids' confidence and curiosity.

I teach English at a rural high school. The biggest issue for 2020 students is that they have almost zero self confidence. I don't know if this is a product of culture, or if this is just a fluke with my students. However, they are unwilling to try anything challenging or new without an extreme amount of one on one guidance. And that's very difficult to give in a classroom of 30. - VerdieJaffee

13. In some schools, kids are reluctant to even try sports.

I'm not a teacher, but am friends with a bunch of teachers and high school coaches. They said that the kids now are incredibly lazy and almost "scared" to do anything that remotely requires hard work or that they might fail at. Sport teams struggle to even have enough kids to play, 10 years ago that would have been insane. They said all the kids want to do is sit on their phones and play video games. And this is coming from 25-35 year old teachers, not some old cranky senior citizens. I really think that giving kids access to the internet and phones from basically age 5 and up is really fucking them up. - chuckrutledge

14. Some think the alleged lack of courage has to do with helicopter parenting.

I think it comes from kids nowadays being stuck in their parents' sight 24/7. A couple decades ago and kids could wander a 10 mile radius and no one had an issue with it, even if some kids got into trouble. Now when a kid is being independent and gets into trouble everyone yells "where were the parents/teachers/guardians." The kids are stuck in their house and backyard without a chance to get any confidence in their own actions. They end up needing the hand holding out of a lack of experience - lemonadebiscuit

15. Mental health diagnoses seem to be less stigmatized.

the big change I see is just a better awareness about a whole lot of things. When I started teaching, if a kid had ADHD you and another teacher or parent talked about it all hush hush in the hallway. Now kids meet me and tell me right away, I have ADHD, or, I have anxiety, or I'm really stressed. That awareness will hopefully help them cope with life a bit better--but I do worry they're also pigeon-holing themselves. Like, if they know at 10 they have anxiety, they may never break free from it. - QueensMorningBiscuit

16. Most shocking of all: Wendy Williams is huge with kids?

I don't get the popularity of Wendy Williams these days. Most of my students talk about her more than any other celebrity. In 2000, it was mainly TV stars like Friends, 2010 movie stars, and now her? - mundane_teacher

17. Sorry but being forced to hold in your pee throughout childhood was torture.

Used to hear,

"Can I use the bathroom?"

Then it was 'I need to use the bathroom."

Then it was "I'm going to go to the bathroom."

Before saying something like "no one should ask permission to go to the bathroom", realize that a school/classroom is a controlled environment. It's not that you are asking to use the bathroom it is that you are asking to leave the controlled environment and I have to decide if you are trustworthy enough to not leave and do something stupid that might get me in trouble. Unfortunately your parents and school district seem to put everything that happens to you completely on me, which can affects my job and my ability to put food on the table. - hanginonwith2fingers

18. Thanks to the ease of smartphones, it's not longer a given that kids are better with tech than adults.

I would say that kids are actually less tech-savy now. So many have phones and so forth, but are absolutely clueless now about how to use them above the minimum required level. I think that many teachers now know much more about technology than the students. I think many of us remember when teachers couldn't use tech. I think the kids are kind of the clueless ones now, at least comparatively.

Screen addiction is certainly a major problem. I probably sound like someone in the 50's and 60's thinking kids watch too much TV, but I really do think that many parents just give their kids full-time unfiltered access to their phones and other stuff and kids are really unable to regulate their choices on these devices. - Mahaloth

19. An introvert's dream.

2020 students seem to actively avoid interpersonal interaction as much as possible. They'll text friends in the class instead of speaking with them. They'll also email us during class instead of raising their hands and asking a question. - caffeinatedmermaid3434

20. Sounds f****** rad.

Kids used to censor themselves around adults. Now they literally do not care about casually swearing/making overtly sexual references. I teach 6th grade. - mywifemademegetthis

21. And a university professor adds more fuel to the theory that kids are less curious.

I teach undergrad [...] what we’re seeing today is less inquisitiveness. Students don’t ask questions as often by a long shot or question the material. There seems to be less critical thought going into assignments and more doing the bare minimum. It’s a shame because challenging systems and instruction is one of the best ways to be engaged.

I start off every semester telling my students that they’re not expected to know the answers. They’re expected to know the questions. Now I feel like they just want everything served up with no interest in engaging themselves. Ten years ago, it was the complete opposite and an absolute joy to be kept on my toes as my students hungered for more information. Now, I feel like I have to deliberately rattle their desks to get them to wake up. - digitalred93

As coronavirus continues to spread — and panic spreads even more — one dad wanted to take drastic measures to ensure his daughter washes her hands.

He orchestrated a fake doll death.

Yes, this dad told his five-year-old daughter that her doll had died of coronavirus in a bid to increase her hand-washing. Now his wife's mad at him, his daughter's possibly traumatized, and he's wondering if he went too far.

"[Am I the a-hole] for telling my daughter one of her dolls died in an effort to get her to wash her hands more often?" he wrote.

The dad is concerned because coronavirus cases are up in his area:

There's been a handful of COVID-19 cases in my area and there seems to be very little government effort to slow down the spread.

His five-year-old daughter can't seem to get the memo on hand-washing, so he threw the doll in the garbage:

I've been encouraging my kids to wash their hands frequently but my 5 y/o daughter isn't washing her hands enough. I came up with the idea to throw out one of her dolls and tell her it died of the coronavirus.

No one is happy:

She's pretty upset and my wife said it was a stupid thing to do. I just want to limit the chances of us all catching the disease, especially since I work in a care home.

Most people agree that staging a doll death probably wasn't necessary.

"Yes. It’s stupid," PastaM0nster wrote. "Instead, maybe buy her a scented hand sanitizer, or go on a special outing to get fancy soap. NEVER LIE TO YOUR KIDS. bending the truth is okay, but not lying."

NomNom83WasTaken agreed:

*rubbing my temples*

You threw away a toy... and said it died of Coronavirus... to scare your kid into washing her hands more... ? Um. Gotta agree with your wife there.

[You're the a-hole.]

How hard is it to teach your kid about hand-washing, schrodingerscat83 asked:

It’s so cruel to take away something a 5-year-old is probably EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO instead of just explaining hand-washing to them normally like a decent parent. YTA, op.

The doll could've been added to the lesson in a much less traumatic way:

Hell, if the doll was plastic (would not recommend for a stuffie!) then OP could even have made a little game of having the daughter help the doll wash her hands too! There are so many ways to make hand washing fun for a kid that I'm astounded OP went for like.... the exact opposite.

RedoubtableSouth speculated that this could give the kid long-lasting neuroses around germs:

There are other ways to encourage handwashing or using sanitizer that don't also involve needlessly terrifying/traumatizing your child. COVID-19 is scary, but people also need to keep their heads cool, you don't want to frighten your kid so badly you create a germaphobe who's terrified to interact with the world at all.

The dad thankfully seemed to get the point. He later added in the comments section:

It seems I've made a huge mistake she's been crying for some time now. What can I do about the doll? Can I 'bring it back to life'? Or should I just get her a new one?

RedoubtableSouth suggested something revolutionary: telling the kid the truth.

You could try telling her the truth. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, I didn't mean to scare you. I was trying to get you to wash your hands more because I'm scared and I want to protect you. But the way I went about it wasn't very nice to you." And then give her the doll back.

Littlecaterpillar agreed:

This. Parents frequently don't apologize to their kids when they're the ones in the wrong, but expect their children to know how to do it. Let your daughter know what you did wrong and why it was wrong, and that you are truly sorry for the hurt you caused her. This models a genuine apology, allowing your daughter to see the process at work.

Aldithedinosaur made a great point:

Apologize. Tell her what you did was wrong. She is five. Even if she pretends her toys are alive she likely knows that they aren't. She knows you threw it away.

Consider if she does believe the toy is alive and died. You just told her she killed somebody she loves because she didn't follow directions. That is something that will likely follow her for her entire life.

Whatever happens, let's hope this kid gets her doll back healthier than ever.

I'm not a morning person in any way shape or form and even I can appreciate the humor in this random collection of memes. Start your morning off with a laugh and make your entire day better.

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Is there anything funnier than watching someone get completely owned for their ignorance on social media?

We all think and say dumb things every once in awhile, but writing it out and posting it to Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram is definitely a commitment. Cyber bullying and trolling is definitely different from calling someone out, so remember to always be patient and kind even if someone wrote something so dumb you're about to claw your eyeballs out and unsubscribe from humanity.

Think before you type, everyone!

Here are 17 people who did the work of crafting A+ responses for us...

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Being open about your feelings is good...except if they're your feelings of rage after you just got fired and drove you to commit some major property damage.

People who have had the honor and privilege of firing people on the job shared the angriest and most intense freak-outs they witnessed.

Pro tip: Make sure you're actually the manager before attempting to fire somebody.

1. Cubbance's story about working at a porn store is long, but worth it (that's what she said).

Oh hell, so many times.

The first time, I started working at a porn store. I had only started working there like two weeks earlier, but the manager told me I was now his assistant manager, and I needed to fire the night shift guy. I got a (slight) raise, so I figured I pretty much had to do it. I was only 21, and had very little work (or life) experience. I didn't know how to fire someone.

But, I did it. I came in to work the next morning to fire this guy. I didn't know what to say, so I was like "look, dude, I know this sucks, but as you know I've been made ASM, and my first order of business was to let you go." I barely got the words out before he was screaming at me, calling me names, telling me I didn't have the authority, and that he'd been there over a year.....and he refused to get out from behind the counter. So, I called my manager...but since he was a raging alcoholic, he was still passed out cold at 9 am. Meanwhile, the night shift dude called the owner of the business, who sent his son (one of the supervisors). I had the owner and the supervisor screaming at me (one in person, the other on the phone). The supervisor said that I needed to get the manager on the phone, and I better hope he answers, because if he can't fire him, he'd fire me instead.

I called, and the manager finally answers. He has a conversation with the supervisor that lasts about five minutes or so, while I'm sitting there freaking out about the likely event of getting fired myself. After five minutes, the supervisor looks at night shift guy and says "you're fired, get the fuck out." Then he turns to me and says "sorry about that. The f*ckhead manager never actually promoted you...he was just too much of a coward to do his job."

Two weeks later, I was the manager.

2. LycorisSeig had to protect Colonel Sanders's seven herbs and spices from a possible spy.

I used to be a manager at a KFC, and had to fire this girl for overuse of her cell phone. Got so bad, I would take it from her at the start of shift. She would talk on it in front of customers, text constantly, and never follow through with her duties. About 16 or 17. I started taking her phone at the start of shift, but I never really checked her phone, turns out she got another and gave me her old one with no service. Caught her texting under the register one day, told her to leave. She freaked out and shouted and screamed at me, said she needed the job, wanted another chance, etc. but I had already given her a bunch of chances. She ended up throwing stuff all the way out the door, dumped a whole tray of chicken on the floor, knocked over plate stacks, etc.

3. Msmooov2 was dealing with "adults."

I have had the parents of fired employees call me to yell at me and/or try and get there child's job back, and these "kids" were over the age of 20. I have had this happen several times when firing an employee and I've even had parents come into the office to chew me out. They failed to realize that being a helicopter parent has resulted in their child having a sh*tty work ethic.

4. Don't mix business and pleasure, Fish-x-5.

I had to fire a guy for c*mming on his computer monitor at work. He ripped the giant office phone out of the wall and tried to clobber me with it.

5. jesseunderfire's story is exactly what I imagine goes on at a skate shop.

Worked at a skate shop when I was 16. It was only a seasonal job. But any way this girl who got hired with me was hanging out with her friends on the job. So my manager who was really nice lets her talk to then for a while since it was a slow day, but as soon as other customers came in she just disappeared... Half an hour later she shows up stoned out of her mind and acts like nothing happened. Long story short my manager fired her and this girl loses her sh*t throwing shoes and skate boards at me and my manager. My manager calls security and this guy who is huge runs in and tackles her to the ground, aparently he broke her arm and got fired as well... I remeber sitting with my manager in the back and just laughing about her face when she seen the guy running toward her. best day of work ever!

6. ncson's predecessor pulled a George Costanza.

Hired as an executive chef at upscale sports bar after current chef no call/no showed for three days. My first day on the job, the former chef finally appeared like nothing had happened. I informed him he no longer had a position, he began trashing the office, wrecking the computers, credit machines, everything not nailed down. I stepped out, called the police and had to eventually tackle the guy when he went for a knife.

7. I want to hold your hand, nutellasammich.

I had about 5-6 write ups on this girl at work. She consistently had a crap attitude at work, would wander off to make long, painfully detailed personal phone calls, was confrontational and volatile. My documentation was impeccable and I wrote down, verbatim, every single one of our check-ins, verbal warnings, constructive criticism conversations, etc-- and I let her know this, every time. The day that we sat down with our director to tell her she either needed to move to a different position in a different location or leave the agency, she sat stone faced while the director read off the exquisitely detailed and specific (with dates and times) incident reports, then asked if she recalled any of those incidents. She stood up, and started a slow clap. She looked me in the face and went, "oh, nutellasammich, brilliant. Well played! you got me! How proud of yourself are you? Amaaaazing. Fantaaaaastic. Good for you. Good for you. Are you happy with yourself? This is just great." I sat there and stared at her until she stopped. She sat back down, cleared her throat, and said, "I had no idea this is how you felt about me, nutellasammich. I really wish you had come to me sooner."

Started blubbering like a baby about how "fragile" she is and in the next sentence claimed I hadn't been "direct" enough with her and just needed someone who "wouldn't hold my hand and would just man up and tell me what to do." Director looked at her dumbfounded and said, "Well, no one has ever called nutellasammich a handholder before, but if you insist..." She then placed her in a location with a high turnover rate and this biggest hard-a** in the agency. She quit soon after marrying one of their staff on a whim. FUN!

Also had a woman burst into tears and tell me I was firing her from her entire life. I informed her that if her job was her life then maybe she should think about taking up some hobbies. (handholder? I think not.)

8. It was the last straw for narrator_of_valhalla.

Let a girl go for stealing $400 out of my wallet while I was outside on a phone call. Had security camera in my office but she didn't think they really recorded. I ask her for the $400 back and she denies it. I show her footage and she leaps for the DVR and starts smashing it. Gives me the biggest sh*t eating grin and says "Good look firing me now, and I am calling [DM's name] and telling him I caught you doing drugs and you broke the DVR to cover it up". (My company has a pretty high turn over rate so to fire someone you have to have a really good reason, solid proof, and the district managers and HR managers approval to fire them, and even then unless it was something really bad they would just transfer them to another store, and all the employees knew thats how it worked). So she is standing there staring me down, I turn on my monitor and open the saved video of her opening my desk and taking my wallet out and money, she lunges at the computer trying to break it at which point I pinned her on the ground and called the police. Ended up being such a huge issue, and the crazy thing. She wasn't even fired immediately. We had like 3 huge drama meetings with her making up loads of sh*t to get me fired, caused a lot of drama for me (I had to get drug tested, they pulled footage of my activity for the past 8 weeks, reviewed all my punch cards and everything). They end up terminating her, and in that phone call I tell them I quit (This was about 3 solid weeks of drama and bs after the day of the incident, and they had also tried talking me out of pursuing her termination because the crew was light already and to suck up the 400 loss) and that XXX (the company we were hired by) was hiring me on directly and cutting them off as a contractor. It was a sh*t company to work for.

9. But did HB24 snitch?

We had an entry-level delivery driver, and he had been acting weird, showing up late, taking too long on drives, etc... so my boss asked him to go take a drug test. He went willingly and then came back to the shop, he was back just a matter of minutes then just left. I asked my boss if he knew what was going on, but he did not the (drug test) results take at least a few days as far as I know).

A little later that afternoon the kid's Mom calls and starts telling me she will pay for all the merchandise he broke if we would let him have his job back. He was over 18, so none of this was her business, but I told her he did not break anything, as far as I knew he had not been fired and that he just left without saying anything... so told her she should really go talk to her son and find out what is going on. We never heard from her or him again.

His (drug test) came back a few days later and he tested positive for a lot of things...

10. He's a mean one, rescuerabbit123.

I fired a guy from the coffee shop I used to manage around Christmas time and he threw our Christmas tree with customers in the store. I called the police of course.

The reason I fired him? He stole money. I watched him take his time doing a cash out through the cameras and he would turn off the lights, and go into the bathroom as to try to trick me. What he didn't know was, we had infrared cameras.

Dumb prick.

11. Koyoteelaughter should report this to their sibling.

I fired my nephew who had worked seven months for me. He got pissed and threw my phone in the toilet. Kicked the screen door off the office and threw a brick through my truck window. Turned out it was his [phone] he threw in the toilet. He come back a few minutes later looking for it. I got revenge after the family reunion three weeks later. He got drunk with his brother and some friends after the reunion. I rolled his car into the creek below his house. Before you get up in arms. My nephew is five years younger than me and the reason I let him go was because he caught a customer's living room on fire when we were installing a pool table. He laid a lit bottle torch on the living room floor next to the curtains after he melted the beeswax on the table.

12. That'll do it, mermaidhairnoocares.

I work for a corporate retail store, and at one of our sister stores when a girl was fired for stealing, she lit a shelf of clothes on fire, grabbed a shoe, threw it at the manager, and ran out. She's in jail.

13. Enjoy, swimminginvinegar!

I fired someone from a job at a residential program for adults with disabilities. He got a subscription to Hustler sent to work in my name. My boss and I were amused by it.

A lot of people reach full-blown adulthood without learning a really obvious life skill that everyone else seems to know. If this is you, don't feel bad! It's never too late to learn. And it's not your fault—this is just something else to blame your parents for in therapy.

Someone asked Reddit: "what is the worst case of 'I don’t know how to operate this everyday object' you’ve seen?" These 22 people share their stories of people who reached adulthood without learning how to use everyday objects:

1.) From WL14K:

I dropped and ice cube on the floor once and threw it in the sink. My roommate at the time was flabbergasted - she had never thought of that, and always put dropped ice cubes in the garbage.

2.) From BaconConnoisseur:

I was checking into a hotel and asked if I could get access to the conference room to start setting up for the training I would be conducting all week.

The lady at the desk was adamant we hadn't booked their conference room for a full week. It had only been booked for today. We went back and forth for a little bit until she got out the schedule book to show me.

The schedule book was just a spiral bound book with calendar pages. She points at today the 31st and says "see there's nothing after this."

I screamed internally and turned the page to show that reality didn't end at midnight and our company name was indeed written in every day that week. She didn't give me any trouble after that.

3.) From piscDSM:

My roommate didn't know to cut the lemon/fruit in half before he tried to juice it

4.) From TroperCase:

I once saw someone in my office start to climb up the wrong side of a common metal ladder before being stopped.

This claim is so ridiculous that, despite it's simplicity, it may be misinterpreted, so here is an image to confirm that this is what I mean.

5.) From i_fuckin_luv_it_mate:

As the youngest in the office, I'm now the official "Printer Guy", anyone has a problem with the printer they come to me dumbfounded. Sometimes it's just the machine telling them there's a jam and they refuse to read the display telling them where the issue is.

6.) From EveFluff:

My 70-year old dad frustratedly shaking the pepper grinder at an Italian restaurant

7.) From arcsine:

I worked deskside IT support at a Fortune 10 company. There was a Director of some super important division, I think it was involved with the launch of new products. Like all Directors there, he had an assistant. Unlike the rest of the directors' assistants, she had THE biggest printer we supported sitting right next to her, and connected directly to her PC. It wasn't even on the network, so no one could use it but her.

Turns out, it's because EVERY DAY, this woman comes in, prints EVERY email the Director got single-sided, and puts a huge-ass pile on his desk when it's done. He then goes through every one (of course, immediately trashing 99% of them), and hand-writes replies on the back. She then stays late EVERY DAY to type them up and send them. All because this dude found Outlook too challenging.

8.) From Bellamy1715:

Roomed with a girl who did not know how to open a can.

9.) From artbento:

I almost stapled my hand or my face with a staple gun if my teacher hadn't intervened in time. I had never seen one in my life and was just handed one to put up some posters. I'm not sure how I held it but it was wrong enough for the teacher to dive over like a baseball home run.

10.) From ImInJeopardy:

My boss doesn't know how to forward emails. He also doesn't know how the printer/scanner works. He will call me over to his office, have me print an email, then he'll tell me to scan what I just printed and send it to the person he wants to send it to.

11.) From Poes_hoes:

Had a kid at one of my jobs not know how to use a broom. He swept back and forth as a cartoon would.

12.) From The_Sceptic_Lemur:

My mom and Gmail.

Quote: „No, I don‘t need a password to log in. Now get my emails back.“

I get older generations are not as tech-savy, not having grown up with computers and internet, but come on, you‘ve had that stupid computer for at least ten bloody years. You must have picked up on the basics by now.

13.) From ReeG:

As an IT manager at a small office I'll just say the majority of people when it comes to understanding and operating a Windows computer. The amount of people that get hung up and stop working over the the most minor issues is astounding. Want to prove yourself more efficient and put yourself ahead of 90% of the current workforce? Learn basic proficiency in how to operate a Windows 10 PC

14.) From remes1234:

It was me. Operating a self check out at walmart. I scanned a thing, and held it in my right, then proceeded to try to scan the next thing using my left hand. The machine said "please place item in bagging area" like 15 times. I just stared at it like it was speaking swahili. The check out person had to help me. I was completely sober. I just vapor locked. I have no idea WTF Happened.

15.) From shandower:

One time, my wife and I were at Taco time. They have one of those touch-screen coke machines.

Unfortunately, we were in the back of a long line that wasn't moving, because the group in front couldn't figure out where the ice was or how to make the coke come out. So my wife goes to the front and asks if they need help. She ended up taking several minutes describing the machine, where the ice was, where the coke was, and how you could add different flavors to your drink.

I was proud of her both for teaching those people, and also for using our drinks as her demonstration.

16.) From tiptree:

My sister in law had a flatmate who never cleaned up after himself in the toilet. There was always poop left. My SIL and their other flatmate were annoyed, but didn't want to embarrass him by telling him.

When they were moving out and cleaning the apartment the others told the poopguy to clean the bathroom, and pointed to the toilet brush and told him to make sure to use that too. When they came in a while later to see how it was going he was using the toilet brush. But not in the toilet, he was using it to clean the walls. This guy was in his late twenties and had no idea what a toilet brush was used for.

17.) From BrilliantWeight:

Served in the army for a brief time with a girl who didnt know you had to rinse clothes after you soaped them while manually doing laundry. We had incidents where our laundry services would be woefully behind schedule, so occasionally, you had to do some sink laundry here and there. She would get hers wet, soap it up, and then just hang it and wonder why hers always came out worse than everyone else's.

18.) From FordGuyV8:

Wearing a medical mask around your mouth, but leaving your nose completely exposed.

19.) From Hysterical_Realist:

My wife is a middle school teacher, and her principal is technologically illiterate. He updates the same Powerpoint (not the same template, but the same literal Powerpoint file) for every single presentation he makes. It's now an illegible mix of fonts, font sizes and formats. His bullet lists switch between unordered and ordered, and different types of sub-bullets (so there would be three "bullet" points, followed by a "4" and an "e").

The worst, though, was when he was giving a presentation about the #MeToo movement, talking about how it might potentially impact their students and staff. Thing was, the guy has no idea what a hashtag is, or how to talk about them in a public setting. His entire presentation, he was talking about the "Pound Me Too Movement".

No actual message was communicated that day.

20.) From Miolner:

My girlfriend never used a toaster until 4 years ago. She inserted 2 slices of toast and started the toaster. When she thought the toast may be finished, she took a metal knive and wanted to get the toast slices out of the toaster by picking it up with the knife. I just noticed a second before she would have put that knife into the electric heating wire and shouted "WHAT ARE YOU DOING" from across the room. Maybe I saved her life. Now she knows toasters stop automatically after the preset time or you stop it by pushing the respective button rather than killing yourself.

21.) From d33jaysturf:

A friend got a call from her cousin who recently went to college - "hey so I'm about to do laundry, how should I sort the clothes? Is it by brand?"

22.) ​​​​​​​From UnwantedButter:

A housemate of mine once put something in the microwave that was covered in tin-foil (Not a "foil" lid, something she had covered in actual foil to re-heat).

I saw it happen out of the corner of my eye and dived in to open the microwave before anything went wrong. She got very angry and said "what the fuck are you doing? I'm trying to cook my lunch, what's your problem?!".

I said something along the lines of "look mate, you can't put tinfoil in a microwave". She told me to fuck off and I sat down in the corner of the kitchen to eat my food while she tried to do it again. When the microwave sparked and made a fuss like it was going to catch fire, she started screaming and turned the microwave off at the wall, while I sat there with a smug grin on my face.

I wanted to say "see, told you so!" but I felt the smug grin was probably enough.

23.) ​​​​​​​From hulagirlslovetoparty:

New hire was asked to mop the backroom when I worked at a coffee shop.

It's a mop, I thought; no one needs to be taught how to use a mop.

Well, this dude lifts the mop up, dips just the ends of the mop into the soap water, and proceeded to lightly brush the floor with wet-mop-tips like he was doing a giant-sized calligraphy project.

Scary things can happen at sea...

Remember when ancient sailors were so far from the shore that they started to think manatees were buxom topless women with fins brushing their hair and singing on rocks? While we know a lot more about the world now (mainly that it's round and there's no such thing as mermaids) there's still a whole lot of mystery surrounding the ocean.

When a recent Reddit user asked, "Sailors and boaters of Reddit, what's the most amazing or unexplainable thing you've seen at sea?" people were ready to share their tales from the waves. Warning: dolphins are better than humans.

1. Puppies of the sea! "khaleesi152."

We were sailing through an area of high biological productivity in the north Atlantic one night. My shipmate was on bow watch, I was on the quarter deck assisting the mate with whatever needed to be done. I suddenly heard my shipmate yelling my name and saying I needed to come up to the bow as quickly as I could. When I got up there, I saw seven or eight bottlenose dolphins swimming through bioluminescent water right under the bow of our boat. Every inch of them glowed green. It was like something out of a dream. They looked like glow in the dark torpedoes. When we looked out across the horizon, we saw green spots everywhere. There must have been close to 30 dolphins swimming around. We got almost the entire crew out of bed to come watch.

That's definitely something I'll remember for the rest of my life.

2. Uh oh, "Electrojet."

I worked on a cruise ship for 7 months as a youth staff taking care of kids while the parents party it up. At certain parts of the day we close the playroom to the older kids and just let parents with their children that are under 2 come in. This woman comes to the gate with a double stroller with two of the ugliest looking babies I have ever seen in my life. She asks if she can come in with her babies. Of course, I oblige but something seems a little off. She takes the babies out of the stroller and puts them on the blanket that we have toys placed upon in the middle of the room. It is then that I realize what was so strange about these babies: They were dolls. This woman was taking pictures of them with the toys and pretending they were alive, names and all. I just looked over at my co-worker and she's giving me the same look of shock and horror that I had on my face. We had no clue what to do or say. News spread quickly to other crew member on the ship about her. Apparently she bought gold bracelets for them at the jewelry shop on board. That woman is by far the most amazing and strangest thing I have ever witnessed at sea.

3. Weird, "starstarstar42."

I saw a penguin swimming around in the Gulf Of Mexico.

Friend invited me fishing offshore when I went to visit him. While out there, he pointed out the funny black & white bird in the distance that that would occasionally dive down. Proclaimed it a penguin. I calmly explained there is zero, zilch, NO way that was a penguin. I explained currents, geography, water temperature, etc. We floated closer to it.

It was a penguin.

We snapped a few pics of it. Back at home, a trip to Wikipedia told us it was "Spheniscus demersus".

An African Penguin visiting the Gulf of Mexico. Go figure.

4. Not a log, "NonTransferable."

I was canoeing on the coast of Florida and my wife said "Let's paddle up to that log." We did. Right before we reached it the log snorted heavily and swam away. Scared the shit out of me. My wife laughed because she knew it was a manatee and knew what would happen. She grew up in Florida.

5. Yikes, "[deleted]."

I almost hit a sea turtle the size of a mattress off the coast of Washington. It suddenly appeared and I threw the engine in reverse and swerved hard to port throwing passengers off their seats. I looked out the starboard window as I went by and seen two eyes staring at me on a head the size of a basketball.

6. Wow, "Aves1."

While on a crossing from the Bahamas to Charleston South Carolina I was on watch in the middle of the night and saw a strange bright orange light rising up from the horizon until it flickered out. Couldn't figure out what it was, but when we got to shore I saw in the newspaper there was a rocket launch in Florida.

7. Amazing, "Top-Tier-Tuna."

I've seen a dolphin do the most elegant backflip you've ever seen. We caught a blue albatross as it went to dive for our gear. When we pulled the bird in to release it, it was so unbelievably calm, we held its wings open to take a picture. Massive birds those ones.

At the back while working gear, all of a sudden we see this black blade-like looking thing climb its way out of the water. Once it reaches a height of roughly 6 feet, it comes slamming down into the water. It does this maybe 5 or 6 times. Hard to explain how bizarre it is seeing something like this until you've spent days/weeks/months staring off at water and seeing nothing. It was the tail of a thresher shark that was climbing out of the water and trying to concuss the squid-like looking gear.

But honestly, one of the most amazing things is the bait ball. It's caused by weather phenomena actually. What happens is that herring and other feed fish predominantly survive in green, plankton filled water. Their predators hate it for the most part because the plankton clogs gills and so on. But what can happen is if blue and green water mix and due to temperature differences and a large amount of clear blue boils up from below, it can expose massive schools of feed fish. Well once this happens, the entire ocean kicks into gear. Tuna come over, dolphins come, sharks, seagulls and other birds - everybody's getting into it. Below, they create this tightening circle of doom where they travel around the ball, keeping the feed fish from escaping. Fins of all kinds breach the surface. And just when we think we've seen everything, a massive humpback whale crashes the party. It went directly through the center, destroying the ball, scattering the feed and all the predators.

8. Aw, "cowboyincognito."

Freshwater boater here, I typically hunt and fish the Arkansas River, where I'm at it's a huge body of water. One day while fishing in some lazy back water off the Arkansas we (my GF and I) heard a faint, very faint raised voice. We stopped and listened intently. The wind and noises of the water lapping against the side of the boat made it impossible to make out what they were saying but it sounded serious. So we stowed the fishing gear and made towards the sound. When we came out of the backwater area towards the main channel we could see a capsized boat with two people clinging to it desperately screaming for help. A pretty dangerous situation, they appeared to have no life vests on and the river was carrying them away. We made our way over and helped the couple into our boat and made for shore so I could go back and retrieve the boat. Another boater saw what was happening and made his way to the capsized boat. The couple were older and clearly exhausted from their ordeal. From talking with them they told me they had hit a sandbar going top speed (was only a 25 HP motor and a 16 ft boat) and when the boat suddenly stopped water swamped over the stern and turned the boat over. After dropping the couple off on the bank with my GF to rest I helped the other boat tow the boat to the bank. When we got it there we managed to get enough of the boat on the bank so we could turn it over and begin dewatering it. Once it was seaworthy again I towed it back to the boat ramp for them and they were able to get it back on a trailer and they left after thanking us profusely.

9. Damn, "hotdogfartbreath."

Most amazing is the non-sound of wind.

When you're on shore wind rustles through the trees, moves wind chimes, makes birds chirp...etc Way off shore none of those sounds exist. It's very eerie to feel the wind but have it make no noise. Just a force that moves across your skin and then gently leaves without a sound.

10. Damn, "_josepi_"

Dropping sails and sliding into a mass of dolphins, about 20-30 of em. Jumping out all around us, swimming all around...if it wasn't for the concentration of jellyfish (Chesapeake Bay), I'd considered jumping in with them. It's one thing to see them on a nature show, it's another thing to watch them round up and fish in person. They'd break off into subgroups ~3-5 and they were simply, EVERYWHERE.

11. No thanks, "steelicarus."

I was three or four days out from Antigua on a row boat. 3am very little cloud cover and only a bit of moon. I'm in my own head thinking about food and on deck alone and rowing when I realise something is watching me off port side, so I turn my head to the right (rowing backwards remember) and whatever was watching me ducks its head under water.

Yes, under water. And yes, a fucking head. Whatever it was had been watching for maybe a minute or so.

I only caught a glimpse of what it was and to this day have no idea. It looked like a human sized head, black pupiless eyes, no nose or ears, bleached white and wrinkly skin. Think albino seal.

Scared the shit out of me so much so that I stopped rowing. I've looked everywhere to figure out what it was and the closest I got to was a goblin shark but...IT HAD A FUCKING HUMAN SIZED/SHAPED HEAD!

12. Cool, "Wrobot_rock."

Worked on a dive boat in Australia. Half way out to the barrier reef looked outside and the ocean was completely calm. Not a single ripple. Didn't know that could happen

13. Wow, "Cessno."

I was out on Lake Michigan early on in the summer. It was a really warm day but the water was really cold still. Much like a hot day on Tarmac this created mirages. The only difference was that the mirages were inverted since the air was much warmer than the water. So if you looked at a boat in the distance or the Chicago skyline across the lake you would see a mirror image of the object in the air above the actual object. It also made the sand dunes in the distance look like a sheer cliff that was painted in watercolor. It was really trippy looking at first

14. Ha, "[deleted]."

I got to swim in the middle of the Atlantic ocean. I'm a very good swimmer and have never had any fears of the water ever. As soon as I jumped in (the water is very clear when you're away from the shore line) I couldn't help but notice how deep and big the ocean is. It was a very unsettling feeling so I got out immediately. 1/10 would never do again.

15. Oh my god, "teaching-man."

I worked at a boat rental rock during my late teens. I was sailing around my local harbor for a quick little lap after work. I get out to the middle of the bay and saw something struggling in the water. I sail closer and take a pass, it was a puppy. I tack back to do another pass and I get close enough to grab it by the scruff of its neck. I took it home, it was the best dog my parents have ever had.

16. Awesome, "safetyhamster."

On watch in the early morning while delivering a yacht across the Bay of Biscay, I thought I saw a red smoke flare going off. Turned towards it, saw another one, realised it was the sunrise tinting the plumes of a school of whales. It was beautiful.

17. So cool, "[deleted]."

I have mentioned this before. The coolest thing I have seen is a humpback whale giving birth, with a school of porpoise circling them the entire time. Seeing the little one surface for its first breath of air was so awesome. I'll never forget that moment.

We all had "an incident" at our high school that swept the school like a hurricane, something so dramatic or bizarre that it kept people talking for years.

In some cases, the incident takes the form of tragic death or scandal, something morbidly fascinating in concept, but depressing in reality. But other times, "the incident" is a story of wacky shenanigans that perfectly encapsulates how weird it is to be in high school, and how boredom can lead to great stories.

In a recent twitter thread, Dean Lines shared "the incident" from his high school and it's a gripping tale on par with Ocean's Eleven.

As with all good heist stories, this one started with the discovery of a trap door.

Naturally, as explorers, Lines and his friends climbed inside the tunnels to see where they would lead.

Their efforts were soon rewarded when they realized one of the tunnels led to the vending machine store room, essentially the El Dorado for hungry high schoolers.

While the configuration made it difficult to make a quick getaway with snacks in tow, Lines and his friends were up for the challenge, so they started to plan their heist.

It took three weeks of assessing tunnel measurements, figuring out who needed to do what, and of course packing emergency tools (in this case, a knife for cutting through carpet).

When the day of their scheme finally arrived, they were absolutely ready for whatever the world could throw at them.

That is, until they realized the heating pipes were turned up to full blast, and the tunnels felt like a spa from hell.

Then, things somehow got worse, when Lines felt the mysterious soggy lump of flesh of a dead fox. His hand was now covered in the chest cavity of the dead animal, while stuck in a concrete tunnel with his compatriots.

The feeling of his own blood-stained hands caused Lines to start puking, and the sight of it all caused his friend to scream.

Soon, the whole group inside the tunnels started wailing in fear.

Still, despite the trauma of their first attempt, Lines and his crew doubled down on their plans and returned a week later, this time with cleaning supplies in case they came across any more dead animals.

However, just when they were about the pull the trigger, the school called an emergency assembly.

Apparently word about the tunnels had spread, and a total of 28 kids had jumped into the tunnels through the trap door.

Teachers had to call the fire brigade, and the entire school was ordered to look for any more access points in order to close them off.

People on Twitter were completely drawn into Lines story, and many marveled at the fact that they returned to the tunnels after the dead fox incident.

More than a few people could envision this tale hitting the books or the silver screen, since it screams high school movie.

Suffice it to say, Lines and his friends have brought a whole new glamour and mystery to vending machine storage rooms.

Remember when you were a kid and you saw your teacher at the grocery store or the doctor’s office? That felt weird, right? So many of us have a memory similar to this, and the strange feeling that happens when your school life melds with your home life stays with you for a while.

One Reddit thread highlighted a similar phenomenon when a poster asked if anyone currently works as a teacher at their childhood school. They were digging for dirt, and dirt is what they found.

Reddit user karnerblu asks:

Teachers who ended up working at schools that you attended as a student, what behind the scenes secrets, dirt, or teachers lounge gossip did you learn that you were clueless of as a student?

And the answers do not disappoint.

1. From TormentingTomato:

The biggest surprise for me was that the teacher I adored as a kid is actually a douche. I loved him as a teacher when I was 14 years old, but I can't stand him as a colleague.

2. From staiseanoireacht:

All the staff hated the deputy principal as much as the students did, if not more.

3. From Captain-Hank:

I found out the school I work at has a decommissioned shooting range in the basement

4. From sunveren:

We recently discovered that my girlfriend's teacher, who would occasionally break down crying during class when the kids were being particularly childlike, was dealing with cancer during that time.

5. From bloodinthefields:

Marriages and divorces, depressions, cancers, all of that sh*t about the teachers that you sometimes suspected but never really knew for sure. Also, teachers can be ruthless when talking about kids, but it's funny as hell. Drinking wine with some of my former teachers was f*cking weird but 100% would recommend.

6. From CanuckBacon:

When I was in grade 7 we had this teacher that was absolutely terrible. She was a kindergarten teacher for over a decade and was only teaching grade 7 because she had gotten her certification a long time ago and union reasons. She wasn't knowledgeable about the curriculum and wasn't able to handle the students as she was not used to the age group at all. The students didn't like her and the parents didn't like her.

I recently reconnected with another (absolutely fantastic) teacher that worked at the school during that time and it turned out that all the other teachers weren't happy with her either. Thankfully she only lasted about 2/3 of a year there before a position elsewhere opened up and she went there. Nowadays when I think back on it I almost feel bad for her given how basically every group disliked her.

7. From Sweetred9:

My 3rd grade teacher was killed when her car got a stuck on the train tracks. Her husband was the principal.

After I found out through parents that every was starting to suspect that the Principal was seeing one of the teacher's aides. It was one of those uncomfortable things were a lot of the moms were after him because he was single and so they were incredibly jealous and petty towards this particular aide.

Years later, I found out the principal and this aide got married. Years after that when they were both gone.... I started working with my old elementary school. And that's when I found out the truth.

That the aide and principal had started having an affair back when my 3rd grade teacher was still alive. She found out about their affair and her death was not an accident. She was actually on the phone with the aide when she purposely drove her car onto the train tracks and killed herself.

8. From rake2204:

I interned at my old elementary school and subbed at the high school. Honestly wasn't as wild and debaucherous as some folks wish it to be. Biggest revelations:

• My old music teacher would fall asleep during after-school meetings and professional development with regularity.

• Sweet fourth grade teacher actually took no crap during after-school meetings if someone was trying to push policy or curriculum that made no sense.

• High school teachers would gossip in teachers lounge about students, though generally only occasionally in passing. And not always scandalous gossip. Just generally more aware of each student's social life than I'd have ever imagined they'd be. An example would be something like:

"How's Steve been today?"

"Turned in his homework but it was incomplete. Didn't really participate today. Heard he and Kristin weren't really talking anymore."

"Yeah, seems to be going through a rough time now but I think he's going to be better off in the long run."

In hindsight it was weird to consider that these folks were likely talking about me and my personal life in various regards a few years prior. Always assumed my life in school was relatively insular, but teachers see a lot more than we think.

9. From SoldMySoulForHairDye:

My mom did her student teaching at the Catholic high school she attended. She didn't know that, while she'd been away at university, one of her favorite teaching nuns had left the order and gotten married. She almost had a heart attack when she recognized Sister Mary Irony in the halls one day and realized she had a solid seven-month pregnant belly.

10. From Onepopcornman:

Mrs X, who was always the jerk AP English teacher,

she hated the more "inappropriate" parts of our AP English books.

Turns her Husband cheated on her and she was in the middle of an unpleasant divorce. No wonder she couldn't stand any sex in famous literature.

I'm not sorry for feeling she was a jerk, but, boy, did it make a lot more sense.

11. From Cucumberappleblizz:

I work at the school I attended. Nothing weird, but drinking/hanging out with your former teachers and principals is kinda cool honestly

12. From Tmanning47:

I work in IT at my old school district. All the teachers are just as immature as the students they teach, and most of the "nicer teachers" turn out to be dicks and horrible to work with. Also, everything is political and clique-y.

13. From musicloverrmm:

Oooh... This is a good one. I realized that my first grade teacher (who I adored) was the butt of all the other teacher's jokes, and that our principal (who I also adored) was actively trying to get her fired.

You see the other end of the environment. Burn-out, negativity, factions and cliques... Idk. you kind of assume as an elementary school student that your teachers that preach kindness, cooperation, etc. also do that with the people around them - but I've learned that sometimes, teachers are worse than the kids.

14. From SomeRandomTeacher:

Oh man I've definitely got one. I worked in the same department as my old teacher (one of the people who made me want to be a teacher, it was pretty cool). One day we're at a bar and he's telling me his biggest horror stories and mentions a girl that I knew from high school.

Turns out she was selling blowjobs during class under the stairs! We only found out because she confessed it to my co-teacher! Apparently some kids had not paid her and she was really upset about the whole ordeal and she thought my colleague would be the only one who would listen. He was quite shocked to say the least.

She was right, and he worked with the right counselors in the school to get her back on track and deal with some trauma. It never really spread around the school and I walked with her when I graduated. It was another checkmark on the list of why I looked up to him as a teacher though, and I try to be as open about listening to my students now.

Edit: For some clarification since I don't want him to come off as a jerk. This stemmed from me speaking to him about a student confessing to buying drugs for their family. I was a new teacher and I was not fond of having to be a mandatory reporter, his advice stemmed from this story and other horror stories, that reporting to the right people can actually make someone better. He wasn't just bragging about somebody I might've known

15. From wehosh:

A lot students we'd pass just bc because we don't want to deal with them anymore, or because their failure would hurt funding and we were pressured to overlook failure of certain students.

16. From LiaaaaaaamWasHere:

My school had an old lunchroom, an entire portion of the building that was only accessible through 2 doors. I cannot say with certainty that this is true but rumor has it several teachers ended up turning that room into a suitable living area and slept there for a few months. I didn't think it was that crazy until I remembered at least 2 of those teachers had a history of drug use, LSD, MDMA and Cocaine. What went on in that old lunch room is anyone's guess.

17. From ImNotRacistBuuuut:

I worked at an after school childcare center at a Catholic school. This was in an affluent community around the time of the child abuse scandal in the early 2000's. I didn't realize how many complaints of sexual misconduct the school received regularly. While I was a young student attending that school in the 90's, one of our priests suddenly disappeared. We were told he moved to a Church that needed him. I found out later he was dismissed when accusations of sexual abuse were made against him. But he wasn't removed from the priesthood. True to what I was told as a young student, he was just moved to another parish.

No investigation was opened against him. The child's parents did not go to the police.

I found out later when I was working there, just how such a thing could happen.

I was required to attend a sexual abuse seminar which outlined the behavioral and physical symptoms of molestation, and the methods to approach a child and ask them if they were inappropriately touched. So far, a pretty solid presentation, lots of good points and valuable information. But of course things go off the rails when I'm then instructed that it is Church policy that we relegate all accusations and red flags to a designated 1-800 phone number that is managed by the Los Angeles Archdiocese.

Note, this is the Archdiocese managed by the only man I will punch in the face if I meet him in person, Cardinal Roger "The Pedo Peddler" Mahoney. Seriously, I will very happily f*ck him up, he shouldn't be retiring comfortably in an affluent mansion in Santa Barbara, he should be living the rest of his undeserved life eroding away in a jail cell. I'm disgusted just thinking that in high school, this is the same man who laid hands upon my shoulder during my Confirmation ceremony and welcomed me to the Church.

Because it turns out, at the same time he rested his hand on my shoulder, he was operating a massive cover-up operation. He was constantly transferring priests to different parishes the moment accusations of child molestation would be made against them, making it almost impossible for a proper follow-through from the victims. So these priests would always be put into a new community with new victims none the wiser to them.

And this seminar I attended was requiring me to be instrumental to Mahoney's cover-up. They wanted me to direct victims and their families to a 1-800 "prayer line" where they would be gaslit into not calling the authorities, where they would be assured they'll be taken care of immediately while doing absolutely nothing.

I spoke up about it to my coworkers, saying I refused to give victims the Church-sanctioned pamphlet with the 1-800 number, saying I would go to the police. My supervisor responded by telling the program director what I said, and I was blindsided with a one-on-one meeting with the director where I was derided for refusing to comply.

She said to me, "do you not take sexual abuse seriously?!"

That always stuck out to me. Because at the time, I was just a young college student with very little experience in handling adversity or getting vociferously reprimanded by my boss's boss. I should've replied with the obvious "Yes I do! The problem is you guys f*cking don't!"

But nah. I was young and just wanted to keep my job there. Which didn't help anyway because my hours were cut significantly under the pretense that I was "a liability" and needed to work the same hours as my supervisor (meaning all the days my supervisor had off and the last hour after she left were pulled from my schedule).

It gives me a sense of validation and...yeah I'll admit it, smug-**- satisfaction...seeing the Los Angeles Archdiocese get absolutely o-f*cking-bliterated in a class action civil suit. It put all their wrongdoings into legal documentation, it absolved me of any guilt in not being more forthcoming about this policy to authorities, and it forced Roger Mahoney out of a position to continue circulating about his pedophile ring of kiddy-diddler priests. Albeit, it didn't force him into a federal penitentiary, but considering how sh*tty the whole thing is, I'll take what I can get.

18. From teacherdoingthething:

My 4th grade teacher was being abused by her husband. Not only that, she was his 4th wife. The first one had divorced him, twice next two “disappeared”. The husband is on death row for my teacher’s murder.

Turns out the lives of teachers is far more interesting than our childhood imaginations can even muster up.

"Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with."

- Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City)

It's all how you look at it. Being alone doesn't mean you're lonely. It just means you haven't settled. Look on the bright side, you get to sleep in the middle of the bed, you never have to fight over what to watch on TV, and you get to laugh at these memes. Take that married people.

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