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21 people share stories of when a gut feeling saved their life.

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No one can see the future — but sometimes, you might get a gut feeling about what's to come. And these 21 people insist that those gut feelings saved their lives.

A recent Reddit thread asked people to give examples of when their instinct proved to be correct, and they evaded death or injury because of it. The stories might make you listen closer to your own gut.

1. No one wants to be the kid who makes their friends drive slower — but it's worth it.

When I was around 18, I was on a backroad with some friends and a girl I didn't know was driving really fast. Now, I'm a bit of an adrenaline junkie, and I have always enjoyed a calculated risk in the name of a good time, but on this occasion I told her to either slow the fuck down or let me out. I literally had to start screaming at her before she listened and slowed down.

A week later she crashed on that same stretch of road at 90mph, killing her, and the three passengers of her car. - Canadian_Neckbeard

2. Never get out of your car alone in the middle of nowhere.

I was driving a friend home late at night when I was around 21. She lived in a pretty rural area outside of St. Louis, MO and about a quarter mile from her house was an old abandoned farm and farm house. I always thought of this place as non-threatening as she told me she and her two sisters would go there as kids and they found an attic full of cool things, including a trunk of vintage woman’s clothing and old love letters. Like something out of a movie.

Okay, sounds fun:

Anyway, I’m driving her home and it’s a hot, humid Missouri summer and we have the windows open as the late night had offered some cool air. We are also singing at the top of our lungs. We pass the abandoned farm and I drop her off at her house. I wait long enough to see she makes it inside and I head back out the way I came. I’m driving along and I get to almost where the farm is and I see two things in the road. My danger meter goes off as I had just driven this road and there was nothing there. I put the windows up and make sure the doors are locked. I get closer and I realize the items are two car batteries, spaced out in the road(which was basically a one lane road) in a way that I would have to get out and move them to drive on the road. I immediately knew I wasn’t getting out of the car so I picked the side of the road that had the lesser ditch and I gunned it. I was driving a little SUV and remember feeling the car run over branches and things in the little ditch, but I just gunned it and got out of there. All the way home I felt creeped out and kept checking my rear view mirror. I called my friend the next morning and told her what had happened and we both agreed it was weird. Shortly after that I moved to another state and didn’t think much of it after that.

Nothing too crazy, but then:

Fast forward to 2-3 years later when I was back visiting my hometown. I randomly ran into my old friend and she ran up to me with wide eyes and grabbed my arms. She asked me if I remembered what I told her that night. I said yes and she proceeded to tell me that not too long after that had happened her family was awakened in the middle of the night to someone pounding on their sliding glass door. Her dad went to check and saw two naked, injured women and let them in and called 911. They had been abducted from St. Louis City(about 40 minutes away) by two men and brought to the old, abandoned farmhouse where the men tortured and raped them. The women somehow managed to get free and ran to the only light they could see, the light over my friends garage. They survived, but the men were never caught. There was evidence the men had been going there for a while. My friend was convinced they had put the batteries in the road to lure me out of the car. I’m just really glad my gut told me not to. - elzamay

3. It's always a van...

I almost got kidnapped once. I was like 23 or so.

I was walking down my street at a little after dusk. I saw a van approaching a little ahead, no lights on. Didn't think much of it due to the time of day.

The van slowed down and almost started creeping, as i was approaching this part of the sidewalk which had a tall solid wall fence to a community. This gave me some pause in that quick moment. For me to keep walking, I'd have to go between the wall and the van.

In the little time it took me to take a couple of steps, and as the van was getting close, i noticed that the side door was slowly sliding open.

Yikes:

The one thought in my mind was, why isn't the light turning on inside the van? When you open the door of a vehicle, the light should come on inside it. Unless you deliberately switch that off.

And I just ran to the median, I ran in front of the van and across the street... because if they're gonna have some use of roadkill me, have at it.... but they're not getting me in one glorious piece.

Immediately, the van took off like someone lit it on fire. From a slow crawl to full speed. As i looked after it to see the plates... I noticed it had no plates. And still no lights.

I called the police, of course. They sent cars out and didn't find the van. I never had anything like this happen again and I'm just an ordinary person, so i don't suspect it was targeted. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. - winterbird

4. Narrowly avoiding a tornado has to be crazy.

My now wife and I did the long distance thing in college, and I planned on doing my normal routine to visit her, leave Chicagoland in the morning, get to her early afternoon on Friday. Well I’m closing my store on Thursday night, and get a feeling I should leave that night. So I said ‘F it’ and left that night.

A little after lunch on Friday, tornado sirens go off. I don’t think anything of it until I head back home Sunday, and drive through a town about half hour north of her. It got lit up by the tornado. I quickly realize that I had left at my normal time, I woulda been smack dab in the middle of tornado. - jvac23

5. Eavesdropping saves lives!

Few years ago I was at a bar with a couple of friends. All was good, we were drinking and having fun.

All of sudden, we heard this discussion taking place just a couple of tables from us. Two guys decided to have a shouting/threat match.

I stopped everything to pay attention to them. My friends were making fun of me, saying I was gossipy.

And then:

One of the guys in the discussion got up and left. Immediately after he left I told my friends we had to go. Now. Let's gtfo now!

They didn't get why I was like that, but I'm their friends since forever, they reluctantly agreed.

We went to a different bar in a different neighborhood but I couldn't take my mind off of those two guys.

Here's where it gets nuts:

The next day, the news were talking about a bar fight. Apparently the guy who got up went home, grabbed a gun and came back for a drive by. Killed 4 people in the process.

My grandpa taught me to never ignore my gut and I couldn't be happier to have listened. - beardedalien013

6. Driving is so risky!

I was taking my mom to a follow up appointment from back surgery the month before. The freeway was closed due to a car accident and life flight was called to transport the people injured in the accident. The highway patrol was funneling everyone off of the freeway to the right side exit. I had the strongest feeling we needed to move to the left farthest lane, so I did.

And thank god:

No more than a minute after I moved over, a garbage truck came barreling down the freeway and crashed into the car that was in front of us in the other lane so fast that it lifted the front end of the truck and it landed on top of the car.

We were in a tiny sports car that would have crumpled like a tin can under the weight of a garbage truck and definitely would have killed my mom and me in a second. - skelenaton

7. Here's a fun new lung issue to worry about.

A pain in the lungs when I inhaled. I’ve never been stabbed, don’t know what it’s like but the pain should have been equal to it, if not worse.

It had happened before, years ago. Some hot water in the shower and the pain was gone.

But he didn't ignore it:

My wife (then girlfriend) insisted on going to ER. I insisted on hot water. “I feel like we should go and see a doctor”, she had said.

I was diagnosed with pulmonary embolism on both lungs. Doctor said “1 or 2 more hours and you were gone”.

So yeah, I owe my wife one. - verpin_zal

8. A mom's gut instinct is the strongest one of all.

My mum knew something was wrong with me when I was younger, Drs didn't want to see me for another 2 weeks. Mum went into a blind rage over the phone telling them that she was taking me to get checked whether they liked it or not....

We got to the GP, he puts a stethoscope on my back and smells my breath. Then says "We need to get him to hospital NOW."

Turns out I have type 1 Diabetes and if I'd waited another day I would have died.

The breath part is due to the build up of Ketones in the blood. As I was in the severe stages of Diabetic Ketoacidosis - FracturedPixel

9. Some people's gut feelings help them get a diagnosis.

Lump in my right breast. 43 years old; clean mammogram 5 months earlier. I just knew. Four different doctors told me it was nothing and to come back in a year. I did not and found a 5th. Yeah, I had to argue my way into being diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of breast cancer.

On the bright side, Thursday was my 5 years all clear date! - Tajkaj

10. A creep is a creep!

My ex husband had a friend who I just didn't like although I could never explain why. He was very handsome, always smiling, very respectful speech (always called me ma'am or Miss even though he's a few years older than us). My ex used to give me shit for expressing my feelings about this guy. I was never rude to him when he'd stop by, but I did have trouble hiding my creeped out vibe.

Fast forward to 3 years later. Guy is convicted of indecent liberties and statutory rape of his girlfriend's daughter (12 yo) and a 14 yo female. - ClutchinMyPearls

11. Pregnant ladies who didn't want to hike were the cell phones of the 20th century.

It didn't happen to me but was told by my mom. When she was pregnant with my older sister. Her and her family decided to go hiking in the mountains. On the day of the hike she suddenly felt discomfort and unconformable. So she stayed behind while the rest of her family went for the hike. Her family got lost and if it wasn't for my mom staying behind, they wouldn't have gotten help. Keep in mind that there was no cellphones back then, so if you got lost, it was a lot harder to contact rescue to come find you. - ToldNoOne

12. Parking garages are a gut instinct red zone.

I get really bad vibes from the car park in work - it's a giant, poorly lit multi-storey and I've seen enough horror films to know I shouldn't be taking it lightly. Whenever I get in, I pay attention to the floors people call the lift to to keep an eye on where they're going.

One time a guy got in in front of me and pressed 6, while I was parked on 8. He didn't get out at 6, and was still in the lift as I got to my floor. I leave, he doesn't... so I guess he's remembered he's on another floor, but just before I get to the dark area with all the cars, I turned back. This guy had waited about 30 seconds (therefore held the lift to wait) and silently emerged to follow me. I just stopped and stared him down. He had a deer-in-the-headlights look and turned straight back to the lift.

I have no idea if it saved my life but it freaked me the f*ck out! - Suspicious_Rabbit

13. Sometimes, it's good to stay stopped at a green light.

A few weeks ago.

I had just left my apartment complex and was heading to a friends. I pulled out of my driveway and up to the traffic light and stopped, I was in the left turn lane, light was red. It was late out and there wasn't many people on the road. I watched as the light went yellow, and then red for through traffic, one guy ran the tail end of the yellow, like usual.

My turn! Light goes green, I have an arrow blinking for me to turn left, I looked both ways and there was no one around, and I just didn't go.

I can not explain what happened other than something inside me just said DON'T GO, so I sat there staring at the green light. A couple seconds later a car came screaming through the red light, through the intersection, probably doing about 100km/hr, in the lane I would have been turning in to. They were going so fast their vehicle had a bounce to it. If I had turned my car would have been destroyed, and me along with it.

I sat there through the whole next light cycle and then turned, pulled over and called my sister. It was a ghostly feeling. I am a light jumper, I look both ways but I am impatient, and I can not explain what stopped me from going the second that light went green, but I'm glad it did. - BowlingForPennies

14. And sometimes missing the bus is a good thing...

Went to go catch the bus, saw the bus about to pull out from the stop, and i could have made it if i ran. Something told me not to catch it and just wait for the next one, so i did. Caught the next bus half an hour later. Now, i usually sit at the back of the bus on the drivers side, so that's where i sat. A little way into the journey, traffic was slowing, and we got to the cause of it. A lorry had crashed into the bus i had missed, right into the back on the drivers side. Had i caught that bus, i wouldn't be here. Still gives me chills after 6 years - Cosmo_Shaggy

15. Emptying the trash helped this person avoid getting hit in the head with glass.

Don’t know if gut feeling or lucky coincidence. Decided I should empty the bin on my way to uni which added maybe 10 seconds to my journey as the skip was 10ft from my front door. Began my walk to uni and roughly 10 seconds of walking in front of me some idiot from the third floor flat threw a load of glass out his window smashing all over the path - _helloalien

16. Gas leaks are unpredictable — but this kid had a feeling.

I was like eight or nine when my parents took me and my younger brother to stay the night at my paternal grandparents' house because they were in the middle of divorcing. They lived in a farmhouse that was connected to a barn (with machinery, gasoline tanks, and hay on the ground floor and furnished rooms on the floor above that) and the room we were supposed to stay in was in that barn. As soon as we went into the guest room, I was overwhelmed by panic and felt really dizzy. I turned around and just said that we will not sleep in that room and we spent the night on the couch in the living room instead. Later that night, a gas leak in the barn ignited and almost the entire barn including the guest rooms on its top floor exploded. Maybe I had that weird feeling because the gas had leaked into the room already but no one else felt anything and I'm sure I would be dead if I hadn't noticed it - CichaelMliford

17. Bet those Australians never came back to the US again...

Am a bouncer.

Came across a shady individual who had a gun on his person. Asked him to leave the weapon outside in his vehicle. Made a huge stink about it, but left it in his car.

For some reason, I still felt like it wasn't enough. So I watched him closely all night. He got trashed and then towards closing he decided to get in an argument with some Australian guys.

They were all talking about taking the fight outside. One Australian guy already had his shirt off. I asked them to at least take it outside, but I followed closely.

Once outside, the guy bent over to tie his shoe and I realized he had an ankle holster for a second weapon. As he was pulling the gun out I rushed him and we fought over the gun. The gun went off and hit a lady in her leg. Finally wrestled the gun out and put him in cuffs with the help of other security.

True, a lady got hit that night.. but I have a feeling if I hadn't been watching the guy closer somebody in the Australian group would have died. Weirdest part about the story is the lady who got hit in the leg didn't stick around for the police. She ran off after getting hit. Might have had a warrant or something, but it didn't seem like a life threatening shot.

Drunk people are weird. - kushglo

18. Always trust a creepy vibe.

Always hated the dad scout leader in my area growing up. Just seemed like a real creep. Hated seeing him at community events, soccer games, back to school nights, etc.

10 year old me staged a hissy fit to end all melt downs with me slamming doors, crying and breaking shit to avoid being moved from cub scouts (where the moms ran things) to avoid boy scouts.

Turns out the scout leader was molesting 3 or 4 of the boys in the troop and threatening to kill them if they ever spoke.

Justice found him and he’s in prison. - F_the_toots

19. Sometimes, people are being nice to cover something up...

There was a guy in college who was really Into me. And he seemed fine on the surface, very sweet, always helpful and wanting to do things for me, but my gut said this guy was bad news. Welp, later he went to prison for beating up his pregnant girlfriend, and this killing his child. - AlyBank

20. One of the rare instances where a cigarette actually saved someone...

I was at a pub party being held for my boyfriends father but I had a headache that wasn't going away. I had been drinking, but I wasn't drunk. I was just feeling like crap. So I made my excuses and left to walk home alone as I didn't want to ruin his night with his dad. It was a ten minute walk, if that, from the pub to our house and it wasn't properly dark yet. I walked down the street and passed a man sitting on a wall drinking a beer. A minute after I passed, I heard the bottle smash and then footsteps a little while back. Nothing unusual, it was a main road and there was another pub further along but something in my gut was screaming something was wrong, so I hurriedly walked to the pub and stopped outside to ask the smokers for a light and a chat as I smoked. I watched him pass by me, and then stare at me from across the street for an uncomfortable amount of time. With my gut screaming at me, I asked a bouncer working the doors if he could order me a taxi.

A few weeks later, while in the town centre, I saw a mugshot of the same dude wanted for rape. - McStaken

21. ... Movie trailers?!?!?!

Escaped the abduction of me and my friends thanks to my gut feeling.

I was at the mall with my friends, all of us around 12 years old. It was 8pm, and my mom was on her way to pick me up. We were all chilling together until each of our parents got here to get us. As we’re standing outside of a store near one of the side entrances, a man comes up to us. He’s about 30-ish, wearing huge glasses, and carrying a clipboard.

The man says, “Hey guys, do you want to watch some movie trailers and answer surveys about them? I’ll pay you each five dollars per trailer.”

Naturally, my friends are all for it. The thing is, my heart dropped as soon as I heard it. As they’re all saying yes, the man nods and then points to the side entrance. It’s pitch black outside, and that entrance leads to the back parking lot of the mall- which is always deserted. Then, he says: “We can do it over there.”

Then, a van appears:

My friends start to follow the man as he walks toward the glass doors, and I’m trailing behind them. Then, as we get close enough for me to kind of see what’s outside, I notice a van parked right outside the entrance. The headlights are on, the car is running. The back doors seems to be open. Every part of my being screams “NO! DON’T GO!” I stop in my tracks, and loudly say, “Guys, my mom is here to pick us all up, I don’t think we have time for it.”

The man freezes and keeps his eyes trained on the doors, and I can see his jaw clenching tightly. My friends look at me with confusion, and I try to give them the most terrified expression of warning that I can. Thankfully they get the message, and say bye to the guy.

The man refused to turn to look at us, and simply began to walk outside of the mall.

As we’re walking away, I turn and look behind me one last time.

The van, and the man, were gone. - Some_Explorer


Groom seeks advice after bridesmaid blames NSFW bachelorette party favors on him.

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If you thought the private-part-inspired straws and decorations were over the line at the last bachelorette party you went to, this story will make them seem positively G-rated.

A man is looking for advice (and maybe legal tips on how not to end up on a predator list...) after a playful prank went horrifically wrong.

Basically, he created a mold of his thangy thang for his bride, at the request of her best friend. But then, the best friend decided to distribute the DIY dildos to members of the bridal party instead of the bride. Now she's blaming our groom for the dirty deed.

"Am I the a-hole for accidentally distributing molds of my penis to my fiancée's bridesmaids and sister?" he asks.

It all started when his bride's bestie asked him to help with a party favor for her bachelorette weekend:

About a month ago, I (25M) was approached by my fiancée's (23F) best friend, we'll call her Sarah. Sarah has always been the wild friend of the group. I'm not the biggest fan of having her around because it usually results in her saying or doing things that make other people uncomfortable. Sarah sent me the following text: "Hey (OP)! The bachelorette part is coming up next month and after talking with the other ladies, we thought it would be funny to have one of the gifts be a customized dildo that you make for her".

Wow, Sarah, hello to you too! She managed to persuade him to do it:

Now, after reading that text multiple times, I had major reservations given what I know about Sarah. However, she protested and said that it would be good natured fun for my fiancée so I agreed.

Sarah came over to my apartment about a week later with a slightly different plan. She wanted to give four, yes four, different color molds of my member to my fiancée. She said she spent around $200 on the DIY kits and asked that I split it in half. At this point, I had been working up the confidence so I was all in.

Yes, this fool allowed his fiancée's best friend to make a plaster mold of his pecker:

Thankfully, it was a relatively painless process. Sarah prepped the molds and I went to another room to do the deed. The molds turned out great and I thought the plan was actually working.

This past Friday, the bachelorette party was nearly called off (they cancelled most of their plans due to what's currently happening) so they spent the evening drinking in my fiancée's apartment. I had texted my fiancée earlier in the night telling her to have fun and expect a special surprise from me that Sarah would give her in private. I could not have been more wrong.

Turns out the quarantine wasn't even the worst thing to happen to the bachelorette weekend:

Apparently, Sarah had decided to change her plans and pulled out gift bags with party favors for each of the guests (who included both of my sisters and my fiancée's younger sister). Sarah had placed the customized molds of my johnson in four random bags out of the 8 girls present. My fiancée did not receive one and has to watch my sister holding a skin colored mold of my penis while Sarah drunkenly tells everyone that it was, in fact, mine. She tells everyone that it was my idea. It also turns out that no one else was consulted, so it is Sarah's word against mine.

So now the bride's socially distancing herself from the groom:

It's been nearly 48 hours and my fiancée will not speak to me. My own family has now heard the story and both my sisters said that it was a stupid prank. Literally the only person who has texted me was my fiancée's sister who thought it was funny....

So verdict? I do feel some sense of responsibility for not thinking of this outcome.

TL;DR: I mistakenly trusted my fiancée's maid of honor and she distributed molds of my dick to my fiancée's friends and sister and accused me of planning the entire thing.

The people of Reddit agree that while this guy is a bonehead, he's not necessarily in the wrong.

unaotradesechable points out that he was tricked:

You were tricked. You weren't even on the room with her while you made the mold. You just need to be completely honest with your fiancee about what happened and what you were told. What you did was stupid, but I don't think it means you suck or were even wrong

But bruuhh1234 says collaborating on a secret penis project with your fiancée's best friend isn't a great look no matter what:

I would be mortified if I knew one of my bridesmaids and my fiancé made a secret mold of his penis. Even if your intentions were to be helpful, the big picture, you were alone with your fiancés friend and made a mold of your penis.

Partnerpanda has strong words for the best friend:

She needs to hear your side. Frankly what her friend did was disgusting and invasive of your privacy

LEGOPASTA1 finds it odd that anyone believes the friend:

I never understand why in these stories the one who is clearly crazy is always believed the most. You would think that his fiancé would know both of their personalities and be able to at least think it may be strange. But no, the fiancé believes the hardcore crazy drunk friend over her partner.

Some users suggested the man call his phone provider and ask to restore the texts, which the groom says auto-deleted after 30 days. He responded:

Thanks, this is good advice. I’ll see if I can get something from them.

I’ve tried to route of blaming her but I’m being blocked out by everyone currently.

Lostmyloginfoagain points out that the friend might be in love with the bride, or at least trying to break them up:

This is like....abusive.... who the fuck does that?

Is Sarah in love with the bride and trying to break you two up, cause this this is NOT acceptable behavior on her part.

They also make the terrifying suggestion that Sarah is planning on some sort of secret dildo line made out of the groom's junk:

get your mold back and send her a cease and desist from making or distributing any more dildos of your junk. Make her swear (legally) of the number of dildos she made, the fact that there are no other molds and that shee has no images and has never posts or taken any images of it.

This is such a genie out the bottle scenario.....your junk.....it's out there.

So that's a lot to think about. Hope everything works out for these two lovebirds!

21 funny posts from dads who haven't lost their sense of humor in quarantine.

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Even a quarantine won't stop dads from making dad jokes...

While a lot of kids and college students are stuck inside with their parents during the quarantine, some of them aren't letting the pandemic bring them down. Funny posts from dads dancing with their kids on Tiktok are all over the internet and dads are trying their absolute hardest to still embarrass their kids with cheesy jokes and tweets.

If you're spending the quarantine with your parents, you've probably had to avoid some awkward moments while watching adult content in movies and you might have learned more about the people who brought you into this world than you ever wanted to. However, family is especially important during this time and dads are stepping up to help homeschool their kids while also making them laugh.

Here are 21 dads who are bringing a little light to the quarantine...

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25 funny posts from people learning a lot about their neighbors during quarantine.

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Being quarantined means all of us are more separated from and connected to our neighbors simultaneously. Every single window decoration and yard flourish is now noticeable, and the apartment that was once considered mildly annoying now sounds like an endless parade of torture.

In a sense, we are all getting to know our neighbors better in this bizarre time of uncertainty, whether through friendly waves across the street or tense notes left on noisy doors. Since we're not able to unpack neighborly dynamics with our friends IRL, many are taking to social media to complain or gush about those cooped up across from them.

Regardless of whether you're ready to kill your upstairs neighbor, or you've been falling in love through a series of window conversations, you are certainly not alone in your bizarre experiences.

The world has temporarily paused amidst this pandemic, and people are becoming far more aware of those who live right next to them. Here are just 25 examples of this phenomenon.

1. The neighbors with too much musical theater energy.

2. TFW you'll never be able to look your neighbors in the eye after all of this is over.

3. The neighbor who found her bliss, and let everyone know.

4. The neighbors who shared an exchange about a cat.

5. This neighborhood full of artistic children.

6. This hack for dealing with frustrating neighbors.

7. The neighbor kids who found a creative way to play.

8. The neighbor who got creative with their window fare.

9. The neighbors telling each other jokes through their windows.

10. This wholesome neighbor exchange.

11. The neighbor's kid who is unfortunately learning recorder during this trying time.

12. The neighbor who can't stop singing opera.

13. This dad who created a way to have drinks with neighbors.

14. The neighbor who is ready to kill her handyman husband.

15. This neighbor's very specific grocery list.

16. The neighbors reigniting their passion for drums.

17. These neighbors giving a sweet birthday serenade.

18. This neighbor who is due for some karma.

19. The neighbor with a very loud saxophone.

20. The neighbor who doesn't understand public health.

21. The neighbor still having play dates during a pandemic.

22. The neighbor who isn't taking any chances.

23. The neighbor kids who have a will, and found a way.

24. The neighbor who is too eager to help you do the dirty work.

25. The neighbor have a sexy but potentially concerning quarantine experience.

16 parents share the darkest secrets they're hiding from their kids.

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Some secrets might be too dark to share with young children, but they're not to dark for the internet.

People took advantage of the almost-anonymity of Reddit to share the "most f*cked up secret secret [they're] hiding from their children."

I sure hope that the children mentioned in this story find out after a frank discussion with their parents and not from this post.

1. Hopefully fractalfarmer's kids don't go around opening drawers.

The sheer volume of BDSM related toys hidden in our bedroom. There's also a 50/50 chance our eldest was conceived in a fetish club.

2. ParentsThrowAway559's might find out on Tax Day.

That we're divorced.

Years before they came along, spouse and I decided it wasn't working out and got divorced. Years later, things still weren't working out fantastically for both of us, so we got back together. Never did get around to getting remarried though.​​​​​​

3. nilikon's daughter has a secret aunt.

My daughter knows that her grandparents are getting a divorce. She doesn’t know that it’s because grandpa (72) decided to knock up a 23 year old. We will talk about it once she’s older, but I don’t want to normalize that relationship for a preadolescent.

4. cmjordan3988 values more than just throwing out condoms.

That my 8 year old daughter is not mine. I met her mother, my wife, when she was 3 months pregnant. Neither of us knew until about a month or two into dating. What I did know was that this girl was the one. When she found out she told me and gave me a free pass to leave. She did not just want me sticking around just for the benefits of dating a pregnant chick then skipping out.

I made the choice then to take the leap. Best decision i ever made and never looked back. Now we have my daughter and a 3 year old son. I don't plan on ever volunteering the information to her but will tell her if she asks when she is older.

The father skipped out to Colorado and cut off ties when he found out. Fine by me though. As far as everyone, including the government knows, I am her father. On the birth certificate and everything. But the way i see it, i am. I was there the entire pregnancy, the birth, and every day since. I was 22 at the time.

5. Chinstrap_1 is the kid in this one.

On my 18th birthday my father walked into my room with a bag of weed & a bunch of rolling papers and showed me the entire hidden portion of our house (not on blueprints, accessed through hidden door) that he used to grow weed.

I had gotten grounded for smoking weed several times by that point in my life.

This was in Florida in the 90s.

6. Thr33wolfmoon isn't ready for takeoff.

My daughter was conceived at work, on airport property, in the back of a fucking Ford Focus, while we were waiting for a MedFlight to land.

She knows nothing about this but tells me she wants to be a pilot when she grows up.

7. From Tippett17:

Adoptive parent of three kids two of which are biological siblings and cousins. Found out a year after the adoption that the biological parents were half siblings who shared the same dad. The bio parents found out after they had the first child and proceeded to have another. The kids are now 16 and 13 respectively and have zero clue that they are a product of incest. Unfortunately their biological grandpa just passed away, so there very well could be a big reveal coming in the near future.

8. everybodylovesrando's daughter is lucky to have her.

My 3-year-old is an absolute miracle. Her birth mom (my wife’s sister) didn’t want her, basically tried for an intentional miscarriage via massive drinking and drug use. Born 11 weeks premature, and with 5 different drugs in her system, she shouldn’t even be alive by most medical estimations, yet here she is. Slight developmental setbacks, but she is solidly inside the bell curve. Her socialization is on point, and she should start school on time. She will know none of this until she is in her teens, most likely. I am so grateful for this impossible little person.

9. From sylcremo:

My mom kept it a secret that the woman I was named after (her mom, my grandma) was stabbed to death by my uncle when my mom was 18. I always suspected my grandma had a tragic death because of how my mom would avoid talking about it, but I didn’t know it was that tragic.

10. FlashyCleverUsername's story has a happy ending:

My son is still very young, but I'm not planning to tell him his dad left us for meth and another woman (he's clean now and they actually split). He's at least involved again.

11. tornados1 doesn't know if their cousins know.

Pretty sure they know, but my second cousins are technically twins two years apart. Their parents did in vitro and 2 of the eggs were fertilized. They weren’t ready for twins so they froze one of the eggs and had their second kid two years later. It’s actually pretty cool.

12. idontknowanything469 needs to write this screenplay.

I'm hiding a lot of things- I used to be a stripper for 10 years, growing up in an abusive house, I partied hard and used to be part of NYC & Montreal club scene, that I was kidnaped and taken to another country. There's a lot of things... Now I'm just a boring accountant mom to everyone. No one has any clue what I've been through. Crazy what your kids don't know about you.

13. extraordinarylove is protecting their daughter from a criminal.

That she can't have a relationship with her grandfather because he's a pedophile and I would never trust him. The rest of my family maintains a relationship with him and leans on me hard to open up communication because "family comes first." They are absolutely right, my family does come first, which is why my daughter won't ever have to have a relationship with him.

14. effervescenthoopla is better off with just their mom.

It was a secret until recently my mom told me. When she and my dad got divorced, things were very, very messy, and my dad would do shitty things to dodge paying for my care. He ended up owing my mom a couple thousand dollars, and my mom was ready to sue. But instead of getting the lawyers involved, and because she knew my dad was not a healthy person to be in my life, she offered him a deal- keep the money, but relinquish custody officially. I'd still get to see him if and when I wanted, but he would give up all legal rights as a guardian. Because he hated paying my mom THAT MUCH, he took 2k over me. Not a life-changing earth shattering secret, it's just revealing to know my dad values money more than me.

Before anybody casts judgement on my mom, my dad was (and probably is) a piece of human garbage who abused me and allowed me to be abused a few years after this, so I'm 1000% fine with my mom's decision. She's my favorite person in the world and every single day I am so lucky to have her in my life. <3

15. Jeffclaterbaugh is rolling in the Benjamins.

We hit the lottery for 12.5 million dollars and nobody in our family—including our children—has any idea. Besides us and the government, the only other people who know is an attorney we hired to keep our identities private as well as an accountant. We have kept our lives pretty normal… We both work so there looks like there’s an income coming in… we both enjoy what we do and didn’t want to have anything change drastically. We just didn’t want to ruin our relationships with everyone or spoil our kids… We have it safely invested for their futures… But not until they establish themselves on their own without any idea that there is a safety net. We support numerous charities. It’s a blessing to win but a bigger blessing not to be destroyed by money. Obviously this isn’t my real name which would defeat the whole purpose.

16. Bangbangsmashsmash's secret is the most relatable.

I hate their father. Sometimes he is tolerable, but overall, I hate him

26 people share the 'red flags' they're glad they overlooked in their current partners.

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"He didn't pay for the date!" "He's too chivalrous!" "He lives with his mom!" "He hates his mom!" It's normal to be wary of "red flags" early on in relationships, but often-times having a long list of deal-breakers can cause us to overlook someone who might otherwise be a good match. Some red flags really do spell trouble or disaster down the line—but others might just be a tiny roadblock in an otherwise successful and happy relationship. So be wary, but not too wary—or you could be missing out on Mrs. Right just because she plays the Sims for 2-hours a day or Mr. Right just because he hoards comic books. Don't we all have a red flag or two (or more)?!

Someone asked spouses and partners of Reddit: "what are the red flags are you glad you ignored?" These 26 people in happy relationships share the red flags they're glad they didn't pay attention to:

(But pls don't use this post as an excuse to text that guy or gal who treated you like sh*t!)

1.) From AlexWPJ:

How she'd worry over the smallest things. Anything that went wrong (dentist, food going off, traffic, not having enough time to wash her hair) would send her into a panic and put her in a foul mood that could last for hours. I'm the exact opposite. Completely laid back. If the dentist doesn't have good news I'll accept it and not worry, if food goes off I'll pop down to the shops and grab some more and if we're late because of traffic that's just how it goes.

I thought her moods would be the thing to end us, to slowly wear down my patience to a point where I'd stop trying to comfort, reassure and calm her down.

I was wrong.

Reader, I've never been happier. And we're good for each other. I can calm her down and she can make me care about things I didn't used to think were a big deal but ultimately are. We work so well together.

2.) From Texastexastexas1:

First date: He had a manchete on his truck seat and two ropes on the floor. "I'm sorry, I've been to the ranch and I was cutting weeds."

Little did I know...there were also two shovels under the back seat. He is a biologist and he will hunt down plants.

3.) From [deleted]:

My spouse's very weird and unusual sense of humor.

I was afraid he was mentally unstable. He would draw weird cartoons, mimic people's voices and mannerisms (creepily accurate) and tell the craziest stories.

Turns out he's just f*cking hilarious and he usually keeps me belly laughing once a week.

4.) From DaisyHotCakes:

When I met him, my husband had just closed his comic book store. I had a few people who didn’t know him at all tell me that he was a loser because he had a comic book store and that “type” never does well in life. I knew his store closed for reasons out of his control (business partner for cancer, sold the store to pay for treatment) and that he was seriously depressed about it. No one else seemed to see the man I did and I felt like I was stealing him. Legit the most generous, kindest, funniest, smart-ass dude I’ve ever met.

I’m glad I ignored them because I doubt I could find a better partner in life. There’s been a lot of shit thrown at us but we have navigated it together. I love him and despite how much the rest of my life sucks, my marriage is resilient and healthy.

5.) From RayNooze:

When I met my wife and we became more and more intimate, she opened up to me and told me, she didn't want to have secrets from me. She then proceeded to tell me the story how she had spent some time in a psychiatric clinic recently and what she had been through. I was a little bit scared first, but she managed to convince me that she had made a full recovery. She told me she went full jackpot with me and risked me getting up and leaving her, but she didn't want to build our relationship on a lie. We have been married for 15 years now and she's the love of my life.

6.) From Caira_Ru:

I ignored ALLLLLL the huge red flags about his family.

They were loud, overbearing, over sensitive, negative and narcissistic - my husband's none of those things. I literally told him after meeting them that I never knew families like his really existed. Thought it was some exaggeration or dramatic trope.

Fortunately, nearly 15years later, my inlaws are all cut off or dead and we have zero family drama!

7.) From designgoddess:

I mistook my husband's relaxed attitude with not caring. Nope. He really is that easy going. Now I love his even temperament. Some times is annoying but is mostly calming.

8.) From nevbot1:

He had a side gig as a puppeteer and used to use the plastic eyes from second hand stuffed animals for the puppets. So when I met him I found a bag of eyeless stuffed animals. I made him show me the puppets for proof before getting over it.

He's the best though and we've been married for over a decade with a family.

9.) From Epicuriosityy:

The serial killer room. I went home with him for the first time to a completely blank room. No personal possessions, white bedspread and pillows. The windows had bars on them.

I gave him a cool picture for his walls, didn’t get murdered, and been living together two years now.

He’s just tidy.

10.) From Dvanquished:

We are the complete opposite. I love to flit around, not staying anywhere too long and live in the short term without any kind of planning on impulse.

She hates the idea of being without a long term plan and knows exactly what she wants to do with the rest of her life.

She has managed to help me sort out some kind of realistic path for the rest of my life (our lives), and I’ve managed to get her on a rough planned tour of SE Asia (keep going till the money runs out). We have managed to develop the parts of our personalities that made life difficult for us, and each individually blossomed as a pair.

We are currently on our way to Malaysia, and I’ve managed to stash a ring in my back pack. She makes me excited for the rest of my life.

Edit. She said yes.

11.) From cheeseheadno:

I was always told to date a man that treats his mom right and is a “family man” because I could expect him to treat me the right way. My SO hates his mom and has always been private about his family. We celebrate 7 years together next month, and I’ve never regretted looking past the family thing.

12.) From leeski241:

Both of our families were worried the 7 year age gap would be a big hurdle to overcome (I was 20 and she 27). 11 years together and 5 years married, it’s never been an issue!

13.) From thezombiejedi:

Rumors that he was a douche.

Turns out he was really sweet.

14.) From Yo_2T:

I thought he was too rigid the way he runs his life. He has his routines and follows a schedule for everything. 4 years and some later, as it turns out, eating home-cooked meals and going to bed at 11 and waking up at 7 every day does wonders to your health.

15.) From tufflepuff:

My partner had a string of "crazy ex girlfriends" which is usually a massive red flag.

Turns out he has really low self esteem and ended up with these awful girls because he didn't think he deserved any better. He'd keep trying to work on the relationship waaaay beyond the point most people would bail - after them gaslighting, cheating, burning his belongings, etc.

I'm so glad I ignored that red flag! He's the sweetest guy and their crazy was completely not his fault, beyond poor judgement dating them in the first place lol.

16.) From So-_-It-_-Goes:

She doesn’t like pancakes.

It is still annoying, and she says I should just make them for myself but I’m like... how am I gonna make pancakes for one person? Gawd.

She is super great tho. So I’m over it.

17.) From Survirianism:

She lived with her ex still when we met and started dating.

18.) From ozzieb0bb:

She wouldn't organise for me to meet her family.

It's 2 years in, we're now married, and I still haven't met them - but it's okay. I've met her friends and for her they are her family, so that's all okay in my book.

19.) From ultimateforme:

I thought she was too sensitive (especially since I’m the complete opposite of that). She brings joy and excitement to my life and I wouldn’t change a thing now.

20.) From kazuwacky:

Bit of a twist in that I was the partner with all the red flags. My now-husband was pretty against dating someone with mental health issues when we started going out, due to bad past experiences.

I've got bi polar disorder and a history of abuse that left me with a screwed up relationship with sex. In retrospect, I was the opposite of what he was looking for.

But he stayed because he realised I was working my tits off to get better and hes still amazed at the progress I've made. I think he realised that mental illness and trauma are not necessarily red flags if the person with them isn't using you as a crutch.

21.) From theboyr:

Her mother... we moved 500 miles away and problem solved!

22.) From Anastasia_Bae:

My boyfriend came on to me really fast and strong which I've always been told was a red flag. Asked me out 3 days after meeting me, told me he loved me a week later, wanted to get married after 4 months. Turns out whirlwind romances do exist because we're perfect for each other and still going strong 5 years later.

23.) From claireauriga:

My dad always told me, "I don't care who you bring home, as long as they have their own drill." I come from a family of woodworkers with a lot of DIY experience.

My partner doesn't have his own drill, but he was absolutely amazing in every other way, so my dad loved him right from the start despite this egregious fault.

24.) From chocolate_on_toast:

He had severe depression, no job, had dropped out of uni, lived at home with his parents, and on meeting him, clearly autistic.

He's f*cking wonderful. The kindest, gentlest man I've ever met. He works so hard to overcome so much all the time, despite it being so difficult for him. He supports me through everything unquestioningly, put in hours of effort to help me through my degree and professional exams, and when i was pushing for promotion. He always has time for me, no matter what.

We've been together 8 years, married for 6 years. He got his degree through distance learning and is now doing a masters and has a job. He achieved so much and he just needed some love and support to get there. I'm so f*cking lucky to have him.

25.) From skunky_x:

He said he was involuntarily celibate.

Thankfully he just meant that he hadn't had sex in a while despite wanting to, not that he believed women were beholden to give him sex because he is male. He hadn't even heard of "incels".

Thank god.

26.) From [deleted]:

When on our second date he was super nervous and giving me some real timid-guy vibes. He was doing this thing where he would look at me and nervously bite his lip. At the time I had only ever dated super macho, very confident men. It was a real turn off and I distinctly remember thinking ‘ugh ok just get through this date’.

BEST DECISION EVER 6.5 years later he is my husband, and the best thing that ever happened to me. He is just the best thing in the world and I couldn’t give a shit about those type A guys I used to go for. I’m so glad I ended up with him because he’s exactly what I need. He’s way braver and more confident in himself than the kind of men I thought I was into. And his lip biting thing when he’s nervous is rare and super cute.

I really love my husband. Gonna go tell him again.

22 people who recreated famous works of art with items found in their home during quarantine.

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Some people are really using this quarantine as an opportunity to be creative.

While it is an incredibly stressful time with many people sick, out of work or currently working from home, following all the social distancing guidelines doesn't mean you can't express yourself. Artists have been turning to creating internet content and live streaming shows and music while families are dancing on TikTok and Instagram. People have been celebrating birthdays and other big moments via FaceTime and Zoom and many people are doing virtual workouts while social distancing on balconies. The pandemic can't stop creativity, but it does change it slightly...

So, when Getty museum challenged people to recreate their favorite works of art using only items found in their home to encourage social distancing and quarantine, art fans everywhere definitely delivered. Here are some of the funniest representations of famous artwork! Enjoy and stay safe everyone.

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20 parents share the funniest things they've found on their kids' social media and internet history.

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Learning how to delete your Google browsing history is a rite of passage, and many teens don't finesse the skill of covering their tracks until it's too late.

Similarly, concealing your social media accounts from parents is essential if you're going to navigate the digital age free from embarrassment or trouble.

While many of us grew up concerned our parents would come across our diaries or AIM conversations, the stakes are even higher for Zoomers, many of whom have multiple social media accounts and far more chances to get their hands on some weird Google searches.

In a popular Reddit thread, parents shared the most absurd and embarrassing social media posts and Google searches they've found on their kids' devices.

1. From swordswench:

Not technically a parent but an older sister, so my little brother when he was around 7ish had a search history of naked women and such. And when my mother found out and confronted him he cried and was saying he just wanted to be like Jack from the titanic by drawing naked women and he had a few pages of his attempted drawings.

2. From Chickiepie:

I have told this story before--

This was before my son was on social media; he was 7 or 8, and he asked if he could have some "alone time" in the office. I looked at his search history:

"Big boobs" (which turned up weird humongous photoshopped boobs) immediately followed by

"Little boobs" and then

"Hot grils" which turned up page after page of Weber grills.

He's 18 now and has no memory of this.

3. From _flam_ingo:

I found my stepdaughter’s musical.ly account. She had a bunch of poor attempts at sexy belly dancing to various Evanescence songs.

4. From Maximus125:

My friend told us about how he found his brother's search history:

Girl penis

Girl not have penis?

Why girl not have penis?

He was 10.

5. From princessfairykitten:

Saw my 12-yr old brothers search history once. Was literally "boobs butt and also vagina."

6. From lltwisterll:

She joined one of those Facebook groups. It was called "anything is a dildo if you are brave enough".

7. From BridgetteBane:

Had a coworker bring in her kid during the summer so that she could run him to the local middle school for football practice when she took her break at 9. Since I was in training at the time, I was sitting with her at her desk and mine was not in use. To keep him occupied, I'd log into my computer and then she'd pull up youtube so he could watch the "Watch me Whip" song, because apparently kids will watch that shit for hours.

Well, one day she goes over to check in on him and says in a confused voice "Who the heck is Ed Gein???"

So it turned out that it was still logged into my Youtube profile, where I had taken to watching documentaries about serial killers, and the kid had clicked on one of the recommended videos.

Whoopsies.

8. From AuspiciousAuspicious:

Well I have child-like parents.

Weirdest thing so far was having to sit down and have a talk with my mother about how some things on Facebook are not real. My extended family lives in Houston and during Hurricane Harvey my mother was driving my elderly relatives to hysteria by emailing them horribly photoshopped pictures of Houston landmarks submerged under 50 feet of water followed by "It's a biblical flood, the world is ending, the news is lying to you, you're going to die if you don't get in your car and try to drive out of town right now". I talked to my stepdad and made him give me her password so I can shut down her account during the next natural disaster.

9. From born2stab:

When I was 9 or 10 my buddy and I were on the family computer doing whatever 9 or 10 year olds do. My friend told me to go to "prettygirls.com" (innocent enough) - except it directed us to a porn site called "teenf*ckinglive" and we immediately panicked and closed to browser. My mom really chewed us out when she found it. I tried to tell her we were just looking for pretty girls but she wasn't having it. It was a long few weeks of computer-less punishment.

Edit: not to kill the fun but I am a woman and a tattoo artist/body piercer haha. thus the stabby username.

10. From Headbangerfacerip:

Not super similar but related. My mom gave me and my sister diaries when we were about 14-15 and I instantly knew it was a trap and they would read it so I drew a monster truck and some stick figures doing Kung fu then left it.

My sister instantly decided to write about the dude she f*cked under the pier and how she had been smoking weed everyday and how much she hated my parents. I have never seen someone dig themselves a grave so deep so fast. They read them the minute we left for school in the morning.

11. From chutzpahinheels:

I don't know what it is, but I'm willing to bet it's something I disapprove of. My 15 year old happily announces he "went viral," because his comment amassed 1.5K likes on reddit. "What did you say?" I ask. [pause] "...I forgot." "What's your reddit name?" "...I can't tell you." "Then why did mention it??"

12. From AlexInNapa:

That my 12 year old son searched for “pro study tips“. No joke. My son. Trying to study harder. Never a million years and lives would I have expected this.

13. From AndyWarwheels:

My kids are preteen I was on their computer one time and found a series of internet searches:

kissing

making out

condom

14. From pywhacket:

When my twins were young, elementary school, they were looking up the Simpsons and accidentally came across cartoon Simpsons pornography. The computer was in the living room so I heard them giggling and turned to see two guilty little faces. So hard not to laugh and so disturbing! What a conversation. The sight of Milhouse and Lisa is forever burned into my retinas.

15. From bananapunk:

When he was little, my brother once wanted to help us find a cool new purse to order for my mom's birthday. He image searched "fun bags," and my parents had to answer a LOT of questions.

16. From sloasdaylight:

Not a parent, but my cousin one time got onto the computer when he was 11 or 12 or so and searched for "naked 12 year old girls". I was there when his stepdad checked through the browser history, and needless to say he and my cousin had a chat about acceptable search terms.

17. From thraxsinatra420:

When I was like 12 my dad found Dragon Ball Z Hentai in my history searches and proceeded to look through all of the pages while I hid in the bathroom pretending to take a sh*t. I remember him yelling my name and having to mentally prepare to deny everything LMAO. I’m scared as shit to have kids and find their porn searches.

18. From thegirlwholikescats:

Not a parent, but the other day my twelve year old little brother posted a topless photo on instagram with the caption "F*ckBoy."

19. From leibinz110:

On Halloween I saw a post on my 17 year old cousin's snapchat that was a selfie captioned, (verbatim) "Any girls tryna come over here and suck on this spooky dick and get festive with some pumpkin spice lattes" I immediately face palmed then laughed my a*s off for a solid 15 minutes.

20. From misspence:

I have two quick stories--

When I was a little girl, I wanted to play some Barbie games or look at girl stuff so I went to Girls.com. Went down stairs to my mom crying in order to rat myself out.

My little sister had something similar happen. She wanted to look at new bikes in order to decide what to ask Santa for. She went to Dicks.com hoping to see Dick's Sporting Goods. Instead she saw a lot of shlong.

Guess it runs in the family.


16 young people share funny texts from their parents during the pandemic.

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It's a difficult time, but one of the few silver linings of the coronavirus crisis is that it's bring parents closer to their adult children.

Some millennials have gotten closer to their parents geographically by moving back in with their parents for a good, old fashioned family quarantine. Other adults are connecting with their parents virtually by receiving even more texts than usual. Hre are some hilarious exchanges that will make you want to text your mom and dad.

1. Tom Brady's mom keeps her son updated on ESPN's programming without live sports.

2. "My little chef!"

3. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

4. The ultimate Dad Joke.

5. Come fly with me.

6. That's a lot of love.

7. Not every quarantine binge watch is going to be a winner.

8. Dad's got memes.

9. Mom's got memes.

10. Don't have a cow.

11. Wow.

12. God bless the USA.

13. Hop to it.

14. Moms: they're just like us!

15. "Fun with tripods" is some next-level boredom.

16. You can hear the fiddle music.

Jimmy Fallon asked what people are doing while bored in quarantine and here are 31 funny responses.

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Just because you're stuck at home during quarantine doesn't mean you have to spend the day staring at your phone for hours while lying on the couch in fetal position. There's plenty of time to master a new hobby, watch every YouTube video, organize your bookshelf by color, clean every inch of your home, and binge-eat the sugary cereal you were saving for "an emergency," and then stare at your phone for hours in the fetal position. But enough about me and my weekend, what are you doing to fight boredom in quarantine, other than watching Tiger King, of course?

In his latest hashtag challenge, Jimmy Fallon asked people to share the funny things they've done in quarantine to pass the time and fight boredom.

People are responding with the funny, weird and ridiculous things they've done while stuck at home with the hashtag #ImSoBoredI. Here are 31 of the best responses:

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23 funny tweets from people who can't handle another month of social distancing.

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Staying home and social distancing as well as standing six feet apart from everyone you walk by in the street is difficult, but it's what we must do in order to protect ourselves, our loved ones and strangers.

While many people have come up with fun and creative ways to communicate while trapped inside such as hosting board games nights on Zoom and FaceTime or imagining a romance between you and your alcohol delivery man (just me? ok!), we're all dealing with the quarantine in our own way. The most important thing is that we're all taking COVID-19 incredibly seriously, supporting our frontline workers in the medical field, and staying home as much as possible in order to stop the spread.

For awhile, we had no idea how long we'd be in quarantine in the United States, but President Trump announced the extension of social distancing guidelines until April 30th. This is good news for the health and safety of everyone, but bad news for our social lives.

Here are the funniest tweets from people who took the news of another month inside pretty hard...

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20 sailors share the creepiest things they've ever encountered in the ocean.

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The ocean is a gorgeous and terrifying place full of deadly creatures, moments of natural serenity, and lots of mystery.

There's a reason you'd be hard-pressed to meet someone boring who spends their life at sea: people who work on water tend to have wild stories.

You can't spend years traveling the ocean without running into some terrifying sharks, a few dead bodies, or a mysterious specter.

In a popular Reddit thread, sailors and those who work on the water shared their scariest experiences at sea, and it's a good reminder of why staying on land is nice.

1. From bidet_enthusiast:

Giant spears plunging in and out of the sea lol.

In the gulf of Alaska, I have seen some shit. But one of the most terror inspiring things I've seen are what can happen with some of the loose logs from the logging trade.

Sometimes when a big log gets loose from a raft, it becomes partially waterlogged and floats small end up. So you have this 4 foot diameter telephone pole in the sea, sticking up 40 feet into the air. No biggie. Shows up on radar, and easy to spot.

Now, give that pole 20 years of floating around or so. It rots in such a way that it becomes filed to a point by wind and waves, and looks quite menacing.

Now, put it in a gale with 25 foot waves (50 feet trough to peak)

And it becomes a towering spike of death that shoots up from the sea every 15 to 20 minutes, out of nowhere, 60 feet into the air, only to plunge down into the dark depths waiting to skewer some unsuspecting boat in a few minutes when it thrusts out of the ocean again.

It is a genuine terrifying sight, rare, but not so rare that I haven't seen 2 in one season. It's like the spiked dick of Neptune looking for an opportunity to f*ck your sh*t up in a particularly terrifying way.

2. From Tyree_Callahan:

My dad and I were sailing in the Sea of Cortez, it was early morning with some patchy surface fog. I was 14 or 15 at the time. We heard what sounded like applause in the distance, but becoming louder. We could soon see a patch of disturbed water getting closer and closer and hundreds of objects flying out of the water and splashing back down. A few of them flew out, hit the deck of the boat and bounced back into the water. Stingrays. A whole school of them, jumping out of the water for some reason. It was weird and awesome.

3. From 1kz_akl:

A mate of mine I was working on a Tuna boat with came across an aeroplane emergency life jacket floating in the water about 200miles out at sea, east coast of New Zealand.

4. From daniel1310:

I worked on tug boats for about 6 years. The back deck is considered a "wet deck" meaning it isn't unusual for it to be under water at times. We were making tow with an oil rig at sea with waves that were 14-16' and one hit us just right, taking my coworker George and pulling him out to sea. Now it's 3am and pitch black. This is nearly always a death sentence. About 20 seconds later (which felt like an eternity) another wave brought George back on deck, plopping him safely on his ass right next to the winch. George laughed and got right back to work without missing a beat.

Edit: I'm mostly a lurker on here, didn't think this would take off the way it did. Thanks for the silvers! Let me know if you wanted to hear some more sea stories. I've got some about drunk people getting on our boat, a small boat filled with half assed pirates trying to get on our barge and a bonus story of one of the times I almost drowned in the rudder room.

5. From Sleepyfalcon9:

Not a sailor; however this was at sea. My dad went boating with some friends down near Rocky Point in Mexico in the mid-90s. They went out late at night to drink. It was incredibly dark apart from the boat lights when suddenly a helicopter flew above their boat and the local who took them out shut everything off immediatley.

The helicopter hovered over some water in the distance and dumped a few bodies into the water before flying off. When it was out of sight the local turned everything back on and shrugged it off saying, "they do that all the time, never seen it so close up before."

6. From chief970:

A couple of years ago I was sailing as a cadet on a merchant vessel and I was scheduled on the evening watch. The rest of the crew was enjoying dinner and I was to call if anything went wrong. We were sailing over open ocean, no land within a day sailing around us and all of a sudden I notice a island coming up on my bow. It was still far away but it shouldn't be there. I looked at the maps, checked my position multiple times and then I noticed the island did not appear on my radars.

I called down to the messroom to tell there was a weird island in front of us. The chief mate came up and checked again the maps and positions. He also noticed that the radars did not see the island. We called the captain and when he came up he started laughing. He was a old sailor with over 40 years of experience under his belt. He explained us it was a fata Morgana. The real island was more than a day sailing away in the direction we were heading at that moment. After that incident he took over the watch and I went down. It wasn't really creepy but it was strange.

7. From oops77542:

Worked the shrimp boats in the Gulf back in the '70s. 100 miles off the coast of Louisiana and the sea got dead calm. I mean dead calm, not a ripple or a swell. The sea was so calm that vibrations from the engine idling would make little ripples in the water. The surface of the sea looked like a huge never ending mirror extending out in all directions. The visual memory I have of seeing that perfectly flat sea in the moonlight is deeply etched in my memory and I can see it today in my mind just as real as if it was happening now.

I could talk about 25 foot seas in the middle of a hurricane, or a half dozen water spouts dancing around us during a summer squall, or sargassum seaweed as far as the eye could see so thick around the boat that you could walk on it, or flying fish all taking flight at the same time like a flock of birds skimming across the water. But none of that stuff had the impact on me like the dead calm of the sea 100 miles offshore.

8. From kinkyp3ach:

When I was about 19, maybe 20, my mom's boyfriend at the time decided to take us out on his boat one afternoon so that we could lounge around and swim in the ocean far from the shore. We were super excited because the water was turquoise, completely see through and the perfect temperature that day. So we found what seemed to be the perfect location, dropped the anchor and had a snack.

Before long, we were completely surrounded by hundreds of giant milky white jellyfish. There were so many that we couldn’t see clear water anywhere around us. Their bells were easily 5 feet in diameter, if not more. We did not swim that day.

9. From SlymaxOfficial:

I've been hit in the face by a flying fish at night. It was not nice.

10. From Bigironjoe117:

Not a sailor, but a marine on a ship. We were cruising through the pacific when we received an SOS from a boat(from what I heard he was trying to cross the ocean by himself). Took a few days to find him.

I remember watching off the side of the ship. The sails were imprinted with the Chinese flag. a small team was sent to board the small sail boat. But when they arrived no one was one board. We searched for a body for the following days but found nothing. Still don’t know what happened to him.

Edited to post a link. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/oct/27/us-coast-guard-suspends-search-guo-chuan-chinese-sailor-lost-mid-pacific

11. From Crossroots:

On a navy ship, we were out on patrol and took a massive lightning bolt to the aft mast at the same time as the wind picked up significantly. We started listing quite heavily and the thunder made it sound like we hit something.

Most of us got really fired up and immediately ran below the waterline to do damage assessment, one guy ran to the bridge to check out what had happened. Luckily it was only lightning and not something we'd hit, but it really felt like we had.

Apart from fire alarms I've never been so ready to do damage control in my life!

12. From Bred_Stix:

Two years ago I was about 150 miles offshore from long island NY, in a 31-foot boat. We were trolling for yellowfin tuna. In the distance we saw two hug fins coming out of the water so we headed towards them thinking it was a couple of sharks. As we got closer, we realized it was one big shark...there it was just cruising slowly at the surface, not even the slightest bit disturbed by us approaching.

Once we got up next to it we realized that this shark was almost as big as the boat. It had to be at least 25 feet long and several thousand pounds. I was in absolute shock as we passed it. I'd never seen a shark even close to that big. I've seen plenty of whales, turtles, dolphins, sharks, all kinds of crazy things out at sea. But never a predator this large.

It was definitely not a whale shark. This thing was a killer. I want to say that it was a tiger shark but the internet says they dont even get close to that big so I really just dont know. I wish I could have gotten a picture of it, but I was just frozen, I couldnt even move. I will never forget that moment. The ocean is an incredible place.

13. From FBIFreezeDontMove:

I was pulling a small sail boat mast from the bottom of a lake during a storm - waves had turtled the boat. So I was about ten feet down and pulling the mast up and the weight of it pushed me down so I was basically standing at the bottom of the lake and could see the waves up top. It was an overall weird/frightening/stimulating experience.

And then something big swam past me and brushed my leg - must’ve been at least 3 feet long. I eventually got the boat turned back over and the mast on board and we got towed in. As we hit land I laid down on the beach and decided I wasn’t going to go in the water for a couple days.

14. From angryfupa:

It isn’t all that weird I guess, when I was in the navy we ran into the second largest pod of dolphins in the world. This was in the Western Pacific. Anyway, they were a fun loving bunch and like many fish, followed us because we dumped food over the side while under way.

As we sailed, the dolphins formed a line on our port side and would take turns diving under the prow then the line would make its way aft along the starboard around and repeat. They did this for a couple of hours before breaking off and going wherever they go. Sorta like a Conga line.

A few of us were TDY to the USNS Tulagi(?) for 10 days where we saw the most amazing school of flying fish. They would swim along side and dozens at a time would come out of the water and fly along. It was one of the most spectacular natural things I’ve ever witnessed. I wish I had had the history of that ship when I was on Her. The Tulagi was from WW2 and had survived being hit by the Kamikazes.

Typhoons were the scariest part, we had to sail through two during monsoon season. It was a good sized ship 300 feet long with 15 feet of freeboard and four decks above the weather deck. They tied off lines on the main deck so the engineering section could get Their soundings from the ports in the deck. This told them how much water was in the bilges and the holds. These were maybe 3” holes with a cap and a weighted line was dropped. The boys had to clip on to the line for safety as the swells were 30-40 feet. You could get your face washed standing on the flying bridge. That’s 50 feet above the sea.

We would rise on the wave peaks and you could see the world then we would fall into the troughs and all you could see was ocean above you, way above. We sat literally in a bowl of water and that is all you could see. It was pretty much agreed on the realization of how puny and powerless we truly are in face of nature.

I know dolphins are mammals. USS Haleakala AE-25.

15. From stuwoo:

Not scary, just odd - but one time we were docked in Bermuda and somebody f*cked up and dumped the galley waste into the harbour.

I have never seen so much marine life in one place. Every type of fish imaginable, turtles the whole whack, all on a feeding frenzy. It got so crazy that you couldn't really see water anymore for about 5m off the ship. Just a mass of crazy writhing fish.

16. From zwiiz2:

I did a double-handed overnight race last summer and had a 45 minute conversation with my grandfather while on watch. I was the only one on deck and my grandfather had been dead for three years at that point. I'm fairly certain hypothermia, dehydration, low blood sugar, and exhaustion were all in play, but it was super weird.

17. From Brummiediv:

I was in a kayak and a swan bit me on the ear. Does that count?

18. From mel2mdl:

One of my co-workers fled to the US from Vietnam in a small boat as a young child. (She was one of the Boat People.) We were complaining about little sh*t when she explained why she almost never got upset.

She was only 7 when this happened. She and her sister, father, mother and grandfather were in a small fishing boat in the middle of the ocean. They had been out of food for several days. She and her sister (5) managed to catch an albatross on the boat. Her father said it was bad luck to kill one and released it. She said as she watched it fly away, she knew then that she and her family were going to starve to death. She hated her father at that point too.

The next day they were picked up by a trawler and taken to California. She still wears an albatross necklace for good luck.

19. From Stabfacenotback:

Atikoken, Ontario. I don't remember the name of the lake. It was flooded on purpose, not sure why, maybe to create a lake? Maybe to damn power? Doesn't matter, I was fishing with a guide.

The air was still. The water crystal clear. I looked down and we were literally floating over an entire forest - at the top of the pine trees.

All you could see was thousands of 75 foot pine tree trunks standing side by side as they were when they were alive before the water flooded that valley. You could not see the bottom.

20. From whiskeyfordinner:

The scariest is always finding unmarked half sunk boats. You have to check them to make sure there are no people or bodies and report them. Every time I pull up on one though the hair stands up on my body as I am hoping there are no bodies. So far so good but every time it unsettles me.

Guy asks if he's wrong to expect his fiancée to stop wearing her deceased partner's engagement ring.

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Death is sad, and it's important to remember who suffers: the future partner of the deceased's old partner.

A guy asked "Am I The A**hole?" whether it was wrong of him to expect his fiancée not to wear her late fiancé's engagement ring anymore, even if it's on the other hand.

He wrote:

My fiancée (M) was engaged before me. Her fiancé passed away in a pedestrian car accident 3 and a half years ago. We met a year and a half after he passed on Tinder. On our first date she told me what happened and then I noticed an engagement ring on her right hand ring finger. I didn’t say anything. A couple months in I brought it up and M said that she will wear the ring on her right hand until the day she dies. She said she understood if it was a dealbreaker but that’s how it has to be. I was fine with it thinking it was a temporary coping thing. When I first went over her house (she owned it with him) I saw pictures of him, the life they lived, etc. It felt weird.

It turns out that what the guy assumed was a "temporary coping thing" wasn't temporary, even though his fiancée told him otherwise:

Present time. We are engaged and even booked a venue for 2021. She did sell her house about 8 months into our relationship and packed away the photos. She bought a condo for herself that I moved into when we got engaged. But that ring is still on her right finger. I really figured she just needed more time to heal and that after we got engaged she would take it off. We had a heart to heart last night and I told her this and that it bothered me. M said that she’s sorry that it bothers me she will not take it off, not now or ever. She says she already told me this when we met and I continued seeing her. Am I in the wrong to think that it was a temporary grieving process?

The Original Poster seems insecure about their relationship and what would happen if they're's a heaven:

M said that there’s plenty of room in her heart for me but that she lost a part of herself when he passed and that she will keep the ring on. I can’t help but to think I’m competing with a ghost. That she never would of wanted me if he was still alive. What happens when we die and hypothetically there’s a heaven? She meets back up with this guy and my ghost is sh*t out of luck. Not trying to be funny and I know it sounds dumb but f*ck, why does she have to wear that ring?

The Reddit judges were unaminous in their ruling: this guy is an a**hole.

cstatus94 agreed with the Original Poster as to why he might be wary of the ring, but called him out for not listening to his fiancée.

"[You're the a**hole] She was pretty clear about her intentions," they wrote. "Don't get me wrong I don't think her way of coping is the healthiest in terms of moving on and loving again but she was upfront with you in the beginning. It's not her fault she didn't change like you hoped and it ended up exactly like she told you."

SenselessStatements explained that the OP was being presumptuous, and therefore an a**hole.

"She was upfront with you and your assumption this was just part of her coping was just that- an assumption. It directly contradicted the information she gave you," they commented. "It’d be like if you wanted kids and she told you upfront early in the relationship that she didn’t, and later on you started asking her when she’d be ready to think about having kids because you figured she’d come around eventually. Additionally, it’s a very common and old tradition to wear your wedding ring on your right hand if you’ve been widowed. Her doing this with the engagement ring makes sense."

t4mpo bluntly told him to calm his a** down: "It’s just a ring, on her RIGHT hand. Would this bother you if it was a ring from her dead mother? The fiancé is dead. You are not competing with them. They are gone."

In conclusion, when somebody tells you their intentions, believe them.

29 Memes To Keep You Entertained During Quarantine.

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"There's No Place Like Home."

-Dorothy, The Wizard of Oz

While we're all being responsible and doing the right thing by staying home, we're also getting bored AF. These memes will ease the monotony of quarantine life by making you lol.

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24 people share the unbelievable things that have happened to them that seem made up.

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As ayone who's watched the series Tiger King on Netflix can confirm, sometimes real life really is stranger than fiction. And Joe Exotic isn't the only person out there whose real life seems like a work of wildly creative fiction.

Someone asked Reddit: "what is something about yourself that sounds totally made up but is 100% real?" These 22 people share the unbelievable things that really happened to them that seem like they were made up:

1.) From DepressedPancake4728:

The Volkswagen Beetle on the cover of “Abbey Road” by The Beatles belonged to my Grandfather.

2.) From Tortion:

I have phytophotodermatitis, which is a big fancy word for I can't get acidic juices (lemons, limes, apples, oranges, etc) on my skin and go out in the sun. Turns my skin brown like a rash. Doesn't hurt or itch, just discoloration. Happened three or four times in my life.

3.) From snowfarmerme:

I am one of very few people outside WW1 to live through mustard gas. So rare the doctors (1995 no internet) had no idea how to treat me.

4.) From Sirnando138:

I bought a guitar amp from Brad Whitford, of Aerosmith, when I was 17. He and Steven Tyler served up cheeseburgers for me and my friends.

Edit: as requested:

So, Brad’s son was a punk and I knew him from the scene. I was in a band that had some small local marginal success. This is 97/98 in Boston. I needed a new amp for our first US tour but had very little money. I was getting drunk with his son and, on a whim, I asked him if his dad had any amps laying around that he didn’t need. We laughed and carried on partying.

The next day, I get a call at my home. It was Mr. Whitford himself. He was super nice but to the point. “My son says you got a band and need a good rig for your les Paul. I have something in mind for you. Just gotta have my guy get it from the warehouse. Come by my house in Norwell this weekend and check it out”. That was the gist of the call. Obviously, the whole band came with me. And our roadie.

We get to his house and it’s totally him. So weird. These guys were like gods in Boston. I wasn’t the hugest fan but knew him from his work with Wayne’s World. He takes me to (one of) his garage(s) where there is this cool full stack. The brand is Bedrock. An old company from New Hampshire that made good quality amps in the 80’s. This one was custom made for Brad. Basically Marshall components. 4 tubes. All the knobs go to 11. Not kidding. Still has the “property of Aerosmith” stickers on it. He plugs it in and rips a crazy solo on his les Paul and then hands it to me and I play a couple power chords. He asks for $300 for the whole thing. I pay him and he tells his son to give us a tour of the house.

This is where shit gets nuts. It’s just like you expect. Tons of gold records, platinum records...Pictures of him with people like John Lennon, Robert DeNiro and Joey Ramone. Then we get to see his studio and THE LARGEST COLLECTION OF MARSHALL AMPS IN THE WORLD. Seriously, like 200 cabs. A wall of guitars. Guitars so pretty and amps so cool, it made sense for him to find the one he sold me dispensable.

After the house tour, he told us to meet him at the little bar and grill they own in town. When we get there early and he arrives 30 mins later with muthafuckin Steven Tyler in tow. “You guys the punk group?!” He was so nice. They went in the back and came out with burgers for us all on the house. Then they straight up left. Irish goodbyed, even! I still have the amp. I used it on the road for almost 10 years in five bands. Now, it’s just a conversation piece. But it still works! I’ll crank her up every now and then.

Edit 2: pics.

https://i.imgur.com/2q8mT6W.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/iyi05AY.jpg

5.) From KatzDeli:

I’ve been in 3 fatal train accidents. Never had a scratch.

6.) From rosachk:

There's a scientist who died on the same day I was born and her research subject was very very close to mine. Not just the field but down to some articles she wrote and some of her side interests. Some tidbits of her personal life also echo some of mine. I only found out after I graduated and now I low-key feel like reincarnation might be a thing.

7.) From djauralsects:

I've had a headache since August 2015 and I will probably have it for the rest of my life. It's only on half my head, so I got that going for me, which is nice.

https://www.ninds.nih.gov/Disorders/All-Disorders/Hemicrania-Continua-Information-Page

8.) From accidentallatte:

When my mom was in grad school she took several labs where she worked with cadavers. Because my dad worked nights she often had to take me to class with her, and she'd usually just plonk me down on the table with the cadaver while she worked on it.

9.) From masturprocrastinator:

I got ran over by a car, but the driver didn't see me and proceeded to back over me.

10.) From cubiclequeen:

I can't look left. Seriously. I'm not an ambi-looker, it's like the Zoolander of birth defects! It's called Duane's Syndrome and my left eye can't turn left so if I try to look to my left I see double.

Growing up my parents raised me to believe it was a party trick and not a disability so I would always show it off to friends, which in retrospect I think was pretty sweet.

Edit: My mom discovered that something was off when I was a baby and she was doing the "airplane" motion with the spoon of baby food to the left. My left eye was not cooperating lol

Edit 2: Fun fact - now that i'm in my 30s I can see in photos that there is a bag under my right eye but not under my left eye, presumably because I use my right eye far more often

Edit 3: I am so excited to see there are so many fellow redditors with Duane's and i'm not alone! I've never met anyone else who had it so it's really nice to hear from people who know what it's like

Edit 4: A lot of you have asked about driving--It didn't impact me mainly because my mom taught me how to use my mirrors first by turning my head before even letting me turn the car on for the first time! She walked around the car and we tried to identify my limitations. I also have a blind spot detector on my car now which is super helpful (i try not to totally depend on it though)

Edit 5: here's a photo!

11.) From SpaceManBalls83:

At age 50 odd and with limited to no video game experience, my mother completed Mario64 before I did, in about half the time it finally took me to do it.

12.) From Crazyviclol:

I got hernia by sneezing too hard.

13.) From Ignatz27:

I won two TV game shows. "The $10,000 Pyramid" (won $10,300) in 1975, and "Sale of the Century" (was on the show for 9 days; won $34k in cash and prizes) in '85.

14.) From ShibertInu:

A pelican engulfed my head with its massive f*cking beak when I was a small child. Pelicans are c*nts.

15.) From sierra-_-charlie:

Arrested and spent three days in a holding cell for a crime that I didn’t commit; about a year after the whole matter was done and dusted with.

Mind you. I say didn’t commit the crime. But I was involved in the story from start to finish.

16.) From SimmerSassenach:

My great great grandfather was a Pinkerton Detective, acted on Vaudeville, and had 5 wives in 2 different states that knew nothing of each other. He also slightly changed his last name each time and never got caught until Ancestry website happened lol

17.) From 0xMii:

I cannot see 3D effects in movies or games. I didn’t know that until a friend showed me his new Nintendo 3DS and I asked him whether this thing was a scam because it didn’t look any different to me than a normal DS.

We had a fight over this because we both thought the other one was bullshitting him.

“You’re holding it wrong! How the fuck do you not see this?”

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? There’s nothing 3D about this thing.”

18.) From efan9411:

I am related to William Henry Harrison - the president who died from hypothermia because he wouldn't wear a jacket. My great grandfather and his son both died from hypothermia as well but under slightly different experiences. I have almost died from eating way too many vitamins, jumping into a ceiling fan, and jumping from a cliff. My dad almost lit a gas station on fire. Basically, we are a very dumb bloodline starting from William Henry Harrison.

19.) From Game_of_Jobrones:

I've published four peer-reviewed scientific papers on hamster testicles.

20.) From rawrberry_:

I have won an actual WWE match.
edit:
For everyone that is asking. I did not have a stage name. It was a one time deal. It was during the 2006 Tribute to the Troops. The guy I faced was Chris Masters.
Proof
Obviously I am the dude in uniform. My hair is not as beautiful as it is now. It was short because I was in the Army.

21.) From mox44ah:

I was baptized by a serial killer.

22.) From Arteragorn:

I was the best man on both sides of a lesbian wedding because I had dated both the bride and the bride, stayed close friends and introduced them to each other after our breakups.

23.) From leaky_eddie:

I ran out of gas outside of La Paz Bolivia. Luckily it was down hill for about 6km into the city. I coasted the whole way on my motorbike, passed busses and drifted into a gas station. Never missed a beat!

24.) From drh0tdog:

When I was a kid, I woke up to find my cat giving birth to her kittens on my pillow, one inch from my face. I took it as a compliment.


27 'Tiger King' Memes Because We're All Obsessed At This Point.

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The Tiger King memes just keep pouring in. To be honest, this Netflix documentary is the only thing keeping us going right now. These memes will be hilarious to anyone who's seen this totally insane show.

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16 people share the 'upsides' of self-isolation that are helping them get through.

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Self-isolating is rough and we're living through unprecedented times. No one should feel pressure to be productive or cheerful when on lockdown.

But some people on Reddit are sharing the silver linings that they've found in self-isolation. It's also okay to be upset about what's going on, but here's how 16 people are looking on the bright side, if only for a minute or two.

1. Not having to wait in traffic or board a crowded train? Definite plus.

My commute is 2 seconds - from my chair to my bed. - scarred_assassin

2. If you're a gamer, this free time could be a dream come true.

I am playing so many video games. Incredible, irresponsible amounts of video games. I am having a blast.

Hope everyone stays safe!! - CappinPeanut

3. It's also the perfect time to learn a new language.

My duolingo streak is on fire! - henriliberte

4. And there's plenty of time to read.

If you have a library card there is a very good chance a ton of free online ebooks and audiobooks are available to you. Check your library's website to see what they lend digitally. - Chtorrr

5. Chartreuse mane? Why not!

I don't have to look professional, so I'm going to dye my hair a bright color again - PM_CIRCLE_KEYS

6. There's all the time in the world to cook.

Really getting into cooking. We're cooking together as a family - you dice the potatoes, I'll shred the carrots. It's nice. - Maxwyfe

7. Coming clean about crushes? Great idea.

Took advantage of the fact that I won't be in school for a few months and told my crush how I feel, as if it went badly I wouldn't have to see him for a long time and it would blow over. It didn't go badly, we're still friends and I'm honestly glad I did it because now I can make progress towards getting over him. Couldn't have done it without good ol' coronavirus messing up the world. - paleoarty

8. Some people are finally getting their chance to "play" in the NBA...

Rather than mope about the cancellation of March Madness, [online basketball fans] decided to simulate the entire tournament in a videogame. Of course, the last licensed college basketball videogame was College Hoops 2008, so they've added the 2020 rosters to that 12-year-old game and are running the tournament there. The entire subreddit is discussing and commenting on it as though it were the real thing, with play highlights, brackets, s***talking, the works. The subreddit went ballistic last night when the #15 Eastern Washington defeated #2 San Diego State. It's honestly amazing. - Notmiefault

9. This could be the dawn of a work from home revolution.

Working from home and proving to managers that people are just as if not more efficient than when in the office - dirtybirds233

10. Parents who are approaching an empty-nest situation might be thankful.

I have two teenagers and life pre-March 2020 was feeling a little out of control, like we were speeding to the end of parenthood at a million miles an hour. Most of my life lately has been driving everyone everywhere and the lack of quality time was starting to feel like a real loss. So having this pause has been really nice, to spend time playing card games, watching old favorite movies, etc. Watching them trying to find the positive when they're facing significant teenage losses of prom, grad ceremonies, AP exams, etc. As they've moved from their own self-absorbed losses to concern for their community, friends and family - it's like watching them grow up in a significant and profound way. <3 - Trying_at_it

11. Other people are just concerned with obtaining a hot post-quarantine bod.

I’m going to get slim thick prison style lol - beachxbunny

12. Anyone with misophonia and an office job is rejoicing.

I don't have to endure my cubicle neighbor's constant barrage of disgusting mouth noises and bodily functions - Aterro_24

13. It's also great when you don't have to be privy to your coworkers' bathroom habits.

My office at work is right across from the men's washroom. I am loving not having to listen to the smooth stylings of buddy's IBS. So much less distracting at home. - lemonsqueezee

14. LDRs will thrive like never before if they isolate together.

My boyfriend and I are long distance at the moment and only get to see each other for one weekend every couple of months. My workplace has shifted to remote working which means I can now go and live with him for an indefinitely extended period! - yukyak

15. More time to heal from invasive surgery without your in-laws around is always amazing!

I have a two-week-old baby and am recovering from a c-section, so it's actually kind of nice not to be mobbed with people wanting to meet the baby or feel pressured to go out and do things before I've healed more. - lukelucklicklakes

16. And for those of us who really miss NeoPets...

more time to play ANIMAL CROSSING!!! - Cyke__

12 of the funniest examples of quarantine video conference call fails.

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We're all adjusting to our new lives of remote work and school — sometimes with hilarious results.

Whether it's a not-so-secret bathroom trip or a rogue potato boss, lots of conference call fails are being caught on camera. Some of them are so cringe, they might make you miss going to work. Here are 12 of the best.

1. A radio show crew reacted to seeing that their coworker forgot his pants.

2. A woman accidentally dropped trou and went to the bathroom on camera!

Her classmate had some interesting thoughts on whether it's okay for a social worker to get romantically involved with a past client.

3. This woman's boss turned herself into a potato, and now she's stuck like that forever.

4. Anyone who's used Zoom's chat function to talk smack had a heart attack when they learned this factoid.

Yes, Zoom saves your private chats as meeting minutes. ZOOM, YOU COULDA TOLD US!

5. Having to hear your classmates chew? Definitely a #zoomfail.

6. One woman had to shoo a strange pantsless man out of her frame.

7. Another accidentally invited a founder of her company to her family's happy hour.

8. And this person's just praying she can remove the chip from her cleavage after the cameras turn off.

9. We're not really sure what's going on in this Zoom but it seems stressful.

10. This guy joined a meeting by accident and decided to camp out/destroy it.

11. A student couldn't resist ripping his hot pink bong on camera.

Miles, please do. Please do.

12. And this woman definitely got a little too comfortable.

25 Memes To Help You Start Your Day Off With A Laugh.

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"Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day."

-Glen Cook

Mornings are not fun. Unless memes are involved, then it's a friggin' party. This hilarious collection of memes will keep you laughing at least until lunchtime.

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21 people share things that happened in a job interview that made them not want to work there.

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Interviewing for a job is always incredibly stressful...

Asking the right questions, wearing the right outfit, and making a perfect first impression since you heard the interviewer has already made their decision in the first 30 seconds are already enough to worry about. Then, of course, there's the part where you have to impress the interviewer with your experience, skills, enthusiasm and future potential. Sometimes there is salary negotiation involved which can definitely get awkward, and if you make it to the third or fourth round of interviews, there's a chance you might not get picked simply because the current staff doesn't know if you'll fit in with their happy hour vibe. Sure, you might be qualified enough for the position but they also just might not like your energy. Don't beat yourself up! Sometimes the job process is completely out of your hands.

Always remember though, interviewing for a job is like being a contestant on "The Bachelor." Yes, they are trying to figure out if you're a good fit for them, but you also should be evaluating whether their work environment is a good fit for you.

Here are 21 stories from people who got a look behind-the-scenes at a workplace during an interview and decided to pull their application from the pile...

1.

Interviewer: "Wow, you're really doing great in this interview. I think you're ready for the full interview."

Me: "Erm... what's the full interview?"

Interviewer: "We walk door-to-door to every business in the area and hand them these flyers. Bring your walking shoes, it's going to be a long day!"

Me: "So you want me to work a full day?"

Him: "Yes."

Me: "Without getting paid?"

Him: "That's right."

Me: "Which way's the door?" - kosherbacon

2.

When they started asking me what my parent's did for a living, how educated they were, if they were married, etc.

It was for a part-time job while I was in college for a financial services firm. -Tface

3.

The interviewer, a rather attractive brunette, a few years older than me, did nothing but talk about the guy that created the business. She even skirted my questions about my responsibilities, workflow, insurance/retirement, etc.

She kept babbling on about how great this guy was. Finally, after about a half hour I stopped her mid-sentence, apologized for wasting her time and told her that I had zero interest in working for a company that, seemingly, was entirely dependent upon kissing the a*s of the owner. - jonuggs

4.

When I was in high school I interviewed for job at a nearby convenience store. Gas, minor foodstuffs, etc. It wasn't a high aspiration, but it seemed like a decent deal.

During the interview, the manager asked my ethnicity ("Feel free not to answer if you don't want to, just curious"). I assume it was because Asian folk are something of a novelty in that part of the country.

I told him - Korean, but raised in the US. He then went on a five fucking minute tangent about how he couldn't stand Chinese people, that they were dirty and sneaky and so on. He ended with, "But you're not Chinese, so we're good."

No, sir. We are not good. - Ptylerdactyl

5.

"We're kind of a boys club here. We don't hire many woman outside of the admin department. Also, we have really bad luck with entry level employees. They all seem to leave really quickly."

I'm female and was about to graduate college.- [deleted]

6.

In my youth I had an interview for an 8rh data entry position. I aced every test they have me and being a confident guy aced the interview section. They offered me the job on the spot and I accepted. At that time I had a small goatee, neatly trimmed. The guy doing the interview then said, "obviously, you'll have to trim your beard, I mean it makes you look like an idiot" it totally came put of nowhere and when I came to my senses I just stood and walked out. It was very odd. - Prawnjoe

7.

Sales job for a pharmaceutical company. The interviewer went on a big speech about the company being very conservative, and how everyone wore either a black or brown suit. She told a story about how they had one rep who was very into her shoes, and had shown up at a conference in her black or brown suit wearing red shoes and everyone was horrified. They had to take her to one side and talk to her about her red shoes, oh the horror!!

Turned the job down, went and bought red shoes.... - [deleted]

8.

I applied for a job at a restaurant at the Pike Place Market in Seattle. Told to come in at some early hour in the morning. The job ad said, "must be able to swivel a French knife". I have no idea what that meant, but I had French restaurant experience and knew how to use a knife...

I get there, and am immediately put to work prepping for lunch. Rather than ask me to demonstrate my skills, or ask questions and test my knowledge and skill, I was put to work portioning out a hundred or so salads. Whatever. I did my best.

I actually wanted that job, because it was a seafood restaurant that was able to get almost all its supplies right on the spot. I figured the food was probably the freshest seafood in Seattle.

Anyway, as soon as the place opened, I was sent home, and told they'd call me. Which they did later that afternoon, asking me to come in tomorrow for the same drill.

I told them I wasn't interested in working for free. If they want to hire me, they've had 3 hours to see me strut my stuff, and could decide. Most cooks are hired without actually watching them work. They had enough information to decide. They said they didn't, and wanted to see me work some more before they'd hire me. I said no money, no me.

So they called the unemployment office and told them I refused a job offer, which caused my unemployment benefits to be cut off. - [deleted]

9.

"We prefer the term 'multi-level marketing' instead of 'pyramid scheme.'"

and:

"If you want to work full time you'll need to be on-call 24/7." - discontinuuity

10.

A few years ago I was e-mailed by a business who found my resume online and it sounded like a pretty decent sales position with a base salary and commission. I call the number provided and set up an interview. The day I show up to the interview there's a group of people there (not mentioned during the phonecall at all) and eventually I realize that this is a group presentation scenario. A perky woman takes the podium and finally discusses what exactly the job entails. The job is selling insurance to small businesses. At this point I'm thinking "Okay, I can do this." Then she mentions that the insurance company (can't remember the name aargh) they are working with has been in the news in recent months for denying people coverage (through convenient loopholes) when they got sick and that if anyone had an "ethical problem" working with that company then they should leave the room. As she proceeds to talk about the boat she just bought from her sweet commission checks I leave the room. Maybe not super strange, but it was weird how open (and lackadaisical) she seemed to be about this insurance company being evil. - VickyVale

11.

I applied to a place that I thought was a non-profit that studied safe sex. Turned out it was a abstinence only, bullsh*t institute. They would ignore the majority of evidence for their own skewed vision of things - claiming condoms worked a lot less than they actually do, etc.

I worked there 2 days and quit. It just felt dirty working there. - shutitjess

12.

I recently drove 6 hours for an interview with an ad firm. It started out okay, but the guy just seemed generally uninterested. They had seen my portfolio via email already so it's not like they didn't know what they were going to see, but after about 20 minutes the second interviewer comes in and says, "Yeah we aren't going to hire someone right out of college." I pretty much just got up and left after asking them why they had me drive all the way out here with no intention of hiring me. -olsonmabob

13.

I went for three interviews at a software house, got hired, told to come in next Monday at 8:00am. I quit my job. Showed up for work, and the guy who hired me says, "What can I do for you?", like he'd never met me before. I told him I was ready to start, and he told me he had concerns about the length of my hair.

Hello? I'm not applying for a cooking job, here...

WTF do employers do this shit for, anyway? Hire somebody and hope they'll go away? Sheesh. - [deleted]

14.

"I don't think you'll fit in here, but I'm offering you the job anyway."

Thank goodness I had another offer already on the table. - nyaliv

15.

I went to an interview for a sales job. They wanted me to sell knives, door to door in (wait for it) Baltimore. Which would be kind of like selling flame throwers door to door in Hell, just a lot more dangerous. - thintreads

16.

For an English teaching position at a charter school:

Interviewer: What's your favorite book to teach?

Me: I've had a lot of great conversations with students during units on "Brave New World," but I am also partial to creative nonfiction, especially "In Cold Blood."

Interviewer: Do you read on your own at home?

Me: Absolutely. Right now I am just finishing up Defoe's "Moll Flanders." She's quite a character!

Interviewer: You haven't mentioned the Bible at all.

Me: Oh. No. I guess not.

Interviewer: Have you ever read the Bible?

Me: Academically, I've read portions of it.

Interviewer: Academically?

Me: Yes.

AWKWARD PAUSE.

Me: Well, it was nice meeting you! - HappyGiraffe

17.

I went on a job interview last week with a medical device company and the first thing the interviewer said to me was "why do you want this job, its literally the worst job in the world, i don't know why anyone would want this job?" - pom1234

18.

At the end of the interview, the guy shut his office door and proceeded to tell me that they have a hard time finding and keeping minority candidates for the job (but not that you are a minority!) and that it might be tough to have a social life because there are no other minorities around (it was in a very rural part of the South). Then he tell me the story of some black girl who was hired and he give this same speech to, then he found out that she was engaged to a white guy, and that he didn't know people did that sort of thing.

That sealed the deal for me - whatzgo

19.

My question: "What's the culture like here? Is there a sense of friendship among the workers? Do they eat lunch together, go out socially, etc?"

Answer: "We're all pretty conservative. We all pretty much go to the same church." - VeryFrank

20.

Went to this crazy interview for a fast food job once, one of the first jobs I was applying for. First thing the manager asked me was whether my vaccination shots were up-to-date. I asked why (I mean, this is a fast food job!) and he never answered the question.

The interview was weird from start to finish. - Xiaozhu

21.

"We would like you to sit in during our planning meeting and submit some of your ideas."

TRANSLATION:

We want you to give us your ideas for free. Also, we have no plans to hire you.

I told then that I would come, but my rate was $50.00/hr. I did not get the job. - Irishamerican

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