The fun thing about having an incredibly stupid fight is that, as long as you're wasting time on it, nobody wins.

People shared the subjects of their dumbest, most inane arguments, and only the strongest relationships can service the toilet paper argument.

1. That escalated quickly, C*ntyMcGiggles.

My college roommate and I didn't speak for three weeks because of an argument regarding toilet paper roll placement. It started off as a discussion, then an argument, then to the the point where he called my sister a whore and I broke his wrist.

OVER. It goes over.

2. "0BurntRice0" should have been nicer.

She got pissed at me because "I" was mean to her in a dream

3. ff2488 is a fruit ninja.

Fighting with my brother about which fruit would win if they were sentient and could fight.

4. Hypothetical weddings test rush_into_safety's friendships.

My wife and I got into a shouting match as to whose friend's wedding we would attend IF they scheduled them for the same weekend. Neither was even engaged yet.

5. _Jedidiah_ didn't think through the spaghetti war.

I was living with a buddy and we were getting on each other's nerves. One night we were arguing about whether to break spaghetti noodles in half. I finally said, you cook yours your way (broken) and I'll cook mine unbroken. He took half the spaghetti from the package and broken the noodles in half, put them in boiling water and started stirring, while I stood there with the package. Mostly we glared at each other, then he reminded me to add my half to the pot. After I did it, then he thought of something: "How are we going to separate the long noodles from the short ones?"

6. stander-j learned their lesson.

When I was six my friend and I stood facing each other, arguing about which hand was your left, and which was your right. It took us about five minutes to realize that, when standing opposite someone, your left side is their right.

7. Djlionking question isn't a riddle.

I had an ex argue with me "over which would weigh more, a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers." We went back and forth forever while I tried to explain it to her.

It did not help when her mother chimed in with "what about a pound of wet feathers?!"

The apple does not fall far from the tree.

8. KittenSwagger had to explain the "credit" part of "credit card."

Way back when I was a phone service advisor for a credit card company; this lady called in confused as hell about a piece of mail we had sent her. "I don't understand why you sent me a bill...I paid for the TV at the store with my card." Yes, ma'am. Now this is the bill for using your credit card. "But...I used my credit card. Why would I have to pay again?" This went on for about a good hour. This poor excuse for an adult believed that a credit card with just an all-access pass to buy anything you wanted for free. That was a devastating job.

9. handndacookiejar added a stereotype on top of a stereotype.

My friend once tried to argue that Token, the black character in South Park, was named as such because "black people are stereotypically always toking on weed and crack." I argued that it was because he's the 'token black character.'

10. Karmaworks's friendship burned out.

Me and my friend are both smokers, we were talking to my other friend who wasn't. The non-smoking friend was saying how bad smoking is etc. and that we should both quit and my smoking friend was arguing that smoking wasn't bad for you at all and he had no reason to quit. Now at first I thought he was joking, but no he was deadly serious, so I informed him he was wrong and that smoking does indeed kill people, he got angry screamed that we were lying then left and hasn't spoken to me since this was like six years ago..

He's not dead, just stupid.

11. All racists is stupid, but donac's coworker was especially stupid.

A woman I used to work with at a UNIVERSITY got into an argument with me because she didn't believe that the different races of HUMANS were, in fact, the same species. Her final argument? "You're wrong, it's like Whites and Native Americans are just like fish and dolphins - they're both in the ocean, but not the same species. Now do you get it?"

Um. No, not really. And, not at all coincidentally, this was the worst group of co-workers I have ever had.

12. Rachellybean's stupid fight had serious consequences.

My friend and I got into an argument over whether chocolate would kill my dog. Of course I was arguing that it would and he was arguing it wouldn't. Eventually he went home and I went to bed. Woke up to my dog vomiting violently under the bed, I could smell chocolate. THAT BASTARD!!! I rushed my dog to the vet and he needed to know how much chocolate my dog may have ingested. I called my friend but he denied feeding my dog any. He had 80% dark chocolate when he was over.

My other friend was in the car with him when I called. He turned to her after hanging up the phone and said "I might have fed him a couple of squares to prove my point." My dog ended up in intensive care at the vet for days. On an IV and carefully watched, he pulled through, the vet said throwing up undoubtedly saved his life.

The stupid argument that almost cost my dog his life. Needless to say I am no longer friends with that asshole.

13. Totesmcgotes702 friend was a crabby one.

My friend was convinced selfish was pronounced shellfish. I wrote out the word out, sounded it out...and it was like I was saying the sun was blue, she just wouldn't have it. Idk if she was screwing with me, but 2-3 years after that whole argument we got in a different argument about her basically being a b*tch and she says "sorry, I was being shelfish" I couldn't stay mad at that moron.

14. Multai smelt it, but didn't dealt it.

*Friend farts*

Me: Did you just fart?

Friend: No I didn't.

Me: Yes you did.

Friend: NO I DIDN'T, YOU F*CKING LIAR

*Silence, only a horrible smell*

He was the only one with me in that room, and he's known for lying.

15. Obviously burp confetti, yrael12.

My colleague and i spent half a day trying to decide what would be best: Burp confetti or fart glitter. Thank you internet for giving us wonderful things.

16. Prove it, BYoungNY.

That human blood is blue before it hits oxygen, which is why your veins are blue. This led to 5th grade me poking myself with pins for hours to see if I could see it change over from blue to red while my brother kept me at it be telling me I wasn't doing it fast enough... God damn older brothers...

17. Yikes, avagina.

One of my colleagues thought that beef came from a pig. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!

18. Sounds commie to me, Lowbacca1977.

I had an extended argument about whether or not Oregon Trail (the game) promoted communism. Like, this was like 20-30 minutes of arguing.

No. No it doesn't.

19. Sounds like a funny prank, gypsythatremains.

An "I'm breaking up with you" April Fool's joke led to the real thing.......^gladitdid

20. She'll appreciate it when she's older, Tolstoi78.

When my daughter was three, we were driving home together from the park and Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven came on the radio.

She told me to change the station, it was a bad song, and I told her no, it's the best song ever, you should listen to it. She then proceeded to tell me 'I hate this song!'

I was like 'You're three! This is the best song ever, you don't know anything about it...oh my god I'm arguing with a three year old.'

We got home and she took a nap.

There are places to make a move on someone, and there are places where you absolutely should not shoot your shot. Bars, parties, dating apps, and most social gatherings are fairly normal spaces to get your flirt on, but there are so many places (bus stops, car accidents, and family Easter celebrations) where it's not only a faux pas, but majorly creepy.

In a popular Reddit thread, OP shared a cringe-inducing story of getting hit on at a public pool while super pregnant. She followed up her story by asking the internet to share equally awful tales of getting hit on at the worst time.

Unfortunately for the state of the world, lots of people had stories of getting asked out in the creepiest ways, at the worst times.

1. From OP:

Let me start my story be reiterating the fact that I am very, very pregnant. I am so hugely and obviously pregnant that people feel the need to approach me in public and offer their condolences for how pregnant I am. I am not kidding. Men and women alike have stopped me just to say "You poor thing.. I am so sorry. You look miserable." That is how pregnant I happen to be at the moment.

That being said, my favorite place to be in the entire world is in a pool. Swimming makes me feel like a normal human being.. The swelling in my hands and feet goes down, the pressure on my hips vanishes, my belly button goes back to being an innie.. It's wonderful. Anyway, last weekend my friend texts me and asks if I'm up for a swim. I certainly am up for a swim; however, it's a little after 8:30, and my condo's pool closes at 9. We decide to go to the pool at her apartment complex, as it is open until 10.

We make our way out to the pool, where the only occupant is a middle-aged guy wearing a swim cap and goggles. I don't pay him any mind, just figured it was a resident doing some evening laps. No big deal. He watches us get in the pool, and says something I can't make out...I ask him to repeat himself, and he says "I'll just swim over here." Um, okay. So my friend and I start chatting about nothing in particular, and Mr. Swimcap starts awkwardly butting into our conversation.

He wasn't trying to add to it, he would just ask random questions, only we couldn't make out what he was trying to say. So we kind of brush him off, and he starts swimming around the pool, and keeps "accidentally" swimming into us. (Keep in mind he's wearing goggles.) So we move to another part of the pool and try to act like nothing's happening. He stops trying to swim into us and starts just staring at us. Then he says something. The conversation goes as follows:

Him: "hoowanblah-ate?"
Me: "What?"
Him: "hoowannaoate?"
Me: "Dude, I can't understand what you're trying to say."
Him: "WOULD YOU WANNA GO ON A DATE?"
Me: awkward pause"...Are you talking to me, or her?" motions toward my non-pregnant friend
Him: "YOU. I THINK YOU'RE REALLY ATTRACTIVE. DO YOU WANNA DATE?"
Me: "Um.. I'm very flattered, but no thank you."
Him: "SO YOU DON'T WANNA DATE?"

Me: "Yeah. I don't want to go on a date with you."
Him: "YOU HAVE A MAN?"
Me: "Yes. I have a man. And we're fixing to have a baby."
Him: "DO YOU LIVE TOGETHER?"
Me.: "Yes we do."
Him: "SO YOU DON'T WANNA GO ON A DATE."
Me: "Dude. No. I don't want to go on a date with you."
Him: "..BUT WOULD YOU?"
Me: "Would I what?"
Him: "GO ON A DATE WITH ME. I THINK YOU'RE A REALLY ATTRACTIVE PERSON."
Me: "No! I'm done talking to you now. Please leave us alone."

I go back to my friend and we start discussing exit strategies, as the guy continues to talk to himself. Luckily my friend's male neighbor decided to come hang out for a bit. Mr. Swimcap starts ranting at the neighbor about who knows what (mortgage companies, maybe?) so we try to enjoy the remainder of our time in the pool. A little while later the security guard comes by to lock up, my friend, her neighbor, and I bolt out of there while Mr. Swimcap is gathering his things. Good Guy Neighbor later walks me to my car to ensure there are no creepers lurking about.

2. From Logic007:

Gave a speech for a class once, and after my speech ended I went to take a piss and get a drink. On the way back to class, a cute Asian from the class was in the hall, looking like she was waiting for someone. I assumed her boyfriend, since he was also in the class with us. She saw me and lit up, asked if I wanted to join her for a cig (I don't smoke but I obliged to keep her company since other people speeches suck) and we headed outside.

We joked around a bit, she tried flirting but I have a gf and I didn't reciprocate. Figured she was just a bubbly person. Right when we're about to head back, she hands me a slip of paper with her number and says "you should give me a call later today, we can get high and get to know each other better". I ask her about her boyfriend and she says "he's working later".

I of course politely declined, went back to class and spent the rest of the day wondering why the porn script scenarios always happen when I am in a happy, committed relationship but never when I am single. When we got back to class, she gave her bf a peck on the cheek and sat back down next to him.

3. From MittyMandi:

I was walking down the street, in the middle of December, hands stuffed in my peacoat, walking behind a young man who looks pretty paranoid. He finally stops and asks,

"Do... Do you have a gun?"

I pull my hands out of my pocket and shrug. No, no gun.

"Oh. Do you have any weed?"

"Nope dude, sorry."

"Oh. Do you have a boyfriend?"

Priorities man, priorities.

4. From GoodLuckStevesy:

I was walking down a street in Berkeley often lined with older homeless guys and panhandlers. It was a warm day so I was wearing a cute, but modest, black and white polka dot 50s style dress that always got me a lot of attention from the men.

Anyways, walking by two older guys sitting on the sidewalk near each other, but far away enough to not encroach on each other's change-seeking turfs when the first one I pass hollers something to the effect of "Hey Girl, let me see that dress on my bedroom floor!" (Ironic because, you know...) To which the second homeless guy responds, without missing a beat, "Hey don't you talk to my wife that way, she's a lady!" TL;DR: Random Berkeley bum defended my honor.

5. From cranberry94:

I was arrested in high school for a spontaneous bout of stupidity and as I got into the cop car I realized that there was a teenager doing a ride along with the cop. I didn't think much of it seeing as that I was, you know, pretty busy focusing on how much trouble I was going to be in.

A few days later, as I settled into my permanent-grounding, I got on Facebook. Lo and behold, I have a Facebook message. The boy doing the ride-along with the cop had written down my contact information and found me on Facebook just so that he could send me

"Hey Girl, I just wanted you to know that I hated arresting a woman as beautiful as you."

6. From periodboobs:

I was hanging out with a friend the day before Easter. She had to drop by another friends house for a quick errand so I went with her. They had an Easter party going on for this woman's children and a few of their friends. The parents were having a BBQ and the kids had done an Easter egg hunt and moved on to painting pictures for their parents.

A normal enough fellow started chatting with me and after about ten minutes with the group I realized he was there with his two year old and the baby's mum. I wasn't sure if they were together but I just assumed they were and left it at that.

So when we went to leave, I was totally taken aback when he pulled me from the doorway where everyone was saying goodbye to each other. He shook my hand and whispered 'shhhhh... It was so great to meet you. Shhhhh.' He put his finger to his lips, winked, then turned me back around to face the group. I just stumbled through my normal goodbyes and left without acknowledging him. While walking away, I unfolded what he'd slipped me while shaking my hand.

It was his number and a note that said 'UR cuute. Txt me'... Torn from a large chunk of the Easter painting his child had proudly handed him ten minutes before.

Tl;dr: Father of the year destroys his child's masterpiece to hit on me in broken English. In front of his baby mamma.

7. From ronearc:

Walking down the main street of a medium sized town with my girlfriend and her sister. Alright looking guy in alright looking car, maybe about 22-25, pulls up, and shouts to the sister, "Hey, you, in the blue. Come get in the car, go with me."

She shrugs, walks over, talks to him for a few seconds, gets in the car.

They were married four months later. Last I heard, it was still going strong, but that's been awhile.

8. From marty102:

My parents were walking through Target when this stumpy guy walks up to my mom. He says, "Sugar zero, sugar zero, sugar zero". Mom laughs and asks him what he means. The guy goes, "If anybody asks, you can tell them that I whispered sweet nothings to you". My dad was laughing too hard to care. Tl ;dr Mom got told sweet nothings by a gnome.

9. From leguellec:

I was waiting for the last train from Paris to go back to my good old suburbs, so this is right after midnight, the station is quite empty, only a few people left around. Should probably mention I'm a girl, and alone.

Anyway I have about 15 minutes left to wait, and this old guy just comes and sits next to me. After a few minutes he gets the courage to ask me:
*- Could I ask you a favor?

• Sure?

• Oh, no nevermind it's ok..*

He looked really sad and miserable about something, so I try and be nice and I insist, thinking he's just going to want to talk about something:
*- Could I.. see you feet?

• Excuse me?!

• I think you have beautiful feet... could I just see them? I won't touch or anything, I just want to look! You can keep your socks on if you want.*

At that point I'm quite weirded out, I was wearing some converse, and this guy is making me feel bad for telling him I don't want to show him my feet >_<
He kept insisting with this miserable look on his face, he even suggested to get on the next train and if there's too many people I don't have to if I'm being shy or something..

I actually felt like I had to apologize to him because I didn't want to show him my feet.

TL;DR: I apologized to a creeper who wanted to see my feet.

Bonus story: Same night, got off the train and walking towards my dad's car waiting for me, other car drops their window and someone mumbles at me "Hey what's your name?" at which I'm too tired to think and mechanically reply like they're asking something from me: "Sorry I don't have a name." >_<
Felt embarrassed at the time about being so dumb, but turns out it's quite a funny way to get rid of weirdos ;D

10. From the_story_you_came_4:

So I witnessed this at a bar one night:

This was at a college bar in California. Anyways, this young couple were sitting together at the table next to mine and it was apparent they were dating (holding hands, smiling at each other constantly etc...) and were minding their own business when out of nowhere a guy in his early twenties and clearly a bit drunk walks up to their table and looks at the girl for a second then glances at the guy and says: "Hey guy! Mind if I talk to your sister?!" Well hearing this I look over at the boyfriend and he has this look on his face that just screams, what the f*ck? So here's how the rest of the conversation goes...

Boyfriend: She's my girlfriend man, so yeah I mind.

Guy: You're dating your sister? Isn't that illegal?

B: No, she's not my sister(clearly agitated), she's my girlfriend.

G: Ohhhhh. So she was your sister... and now she's your girlfriend?

B: No, leave us alone kid(at this point the drunk guy turns around and yells for his friend to come over)

G: Hey (Guy 2)!!! Come over here! This guy is dating his sister!!!

So next thing I know this well groomed/ dressed guy (clearly gay) comes over to the table to see what kind of trouble his buddy is getting into.

Guy: He's dating his f*cking sister (Guy 2)!

Guy 2: Isn't that illegal?

Guy: That's what I said!!

Well now the couple are pretty pissed off and the girl suggests to her boyfriend that they go somewhere else. As they gather their things and start to walk away the second guy walks up to the girl and says:"Hey, would you mind if I talk to your brother?" And this look of horror spreads across her face as she realizes this gay guy wants to talk to her man. The couple basically ran out of the bar and the two guys busted up laughing from the reaction they got.

tl;dr: Mind if I talk to your sister?

11. From trikstor:

I was in the back seat of my friends truck with a girl I just met riding home one day. I make small talk, maybe two minutes of pleasantries are exchanged. Throughout the ordeal I am totally enthusiastic, and just the embodiment of suave. I ask her "Do you have a boyfriend?" "no." "Do you want one?" Laughter"Oh, you're serious?" "Yeah babe." "Sure!" I will never be that cool again. Keep in mind I'm normally fairly shy around new people.

TL;DR I felt like Fabio.

12. From DarkishArchon:

My mom was working at her pharmacy job at the pick up counter, when a man came up to her, and gave her a pick up line something along the lines of "hey, I'm not here to pick up medicine, I'm here to pick YOU up."

That man is my father.

13. From Skishkitteh:

There used to be this veteran who went to my college and always wore his uniform. and he used to hit on me in the creepiest ways until I reported his a*s. It started off as just friendly banter every once in awhile until one night he has me cornered alone in the bus shelter "I bet you taste good little princess, like cotton candy" I walked down to the next stop.

14. From myowndevo:

I was riding my bike and got hit by a car, the guy stopped and we exchanged information. I get a call later and it's him, asking me if I was alright, which I thought was normal and nice of him, but then he follows it up with if I would want to get lunch with him. He then proceeded to call me everyday leaving messaged like, "wanna get lunch, I'm realllllly huuuuungrry"

You don't break a persons tailbone then ask them out.

15. From Id_rather_be_lurking:

My girlfriend and I were walking along the beach in SD last year. An older gentleman, probably late 50s or so, came up to me and said "Son, if I had your body and my money I'd be unstoppable. How about we put the two of them together?" My girlfriend just about fell over laughing while I tried to politely decline. As we walked he way he let me know "You're even more fine watching from behind." Still haven't lived that one down.

16. From stinatown:

I was walking back to my car one night and a group of young guys were hanging out on the sidewalk, taking up most of the width of it. My friend and I had to walk through their group. As we walked though, a guy stepped in really close to me and whispered, "girl, I'll buy you Starbucks every night."

I had no idea how to respond, so I just smiled and kept walking. But later, I had to wonder: do non-white men think the way to a preppy-ish looking white woman's heart is the promise of daily Starbucks runs? Because... well, he's kind of right, I guess.

17. From Takatchi:

This isn't mine (as I've never been hit on), but when I was going to college I was sitting in the cafeteria with a group of like 11 people who all knew each other and were D&D nerds together. There were about 4 very attractive girls in this group.

One kind of sweat-smelling, mouth-breathing new-ish guy who had only recently "joined" our little group leans over to one of the girls in the group brags about how he can do a perfect Zapp Brannigan impersonation. She asks to see, and he goes "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you take your pants off and dance around a little?" in Zapp's voice. We laugh in that awkward "not sure if rapist" way. I have to leave for class.

The next day he gets to the table before the girl from earlier does, strikes a heroic pose, and says "Kipf, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men." The girl is mortified that he not only told everyone, but told everyone in Zapp Brannigan's voice. Fortunately he had the good sense to be too embarrassed to show his face again after that.

TL;DR Zapp Brannigan's pickup lines apparently work.

18. From sharpiefairy666:

Buying condoms at a gas station late at night (17-year-old girl should do, or anyone for that matter). I paid, and as I reached for the box, the old Indian cashier grabbed my wrist and said, "Take me with you." It was so creepy, I'll never forget the desperate look on his face. F*cking chills.

19. From GabrielleSalonga:

I was at a beach with three other friends. It was a weekday, so there wasn't a crowd, but a bearable amount of people to handle.

We were enjoying ourselves and my friend and I were just floating about and talking, when I then notice this tan guy not too far away from us. He was staring straight at us. With an extremely creepy and perverted grin.

We decided to swim back to shore and started to take pictures, and guess who decides to come along? Creepy tanned guy. At this point we still really haven't reacted, but then he starts RUNNING back and forth on the beach, never taking his eyes away from me and my group.

He eventually starts doing his little running routine closer and closer to us. When we thought it couldn't get weirder than that, it did. Every time he ran towards us, he slowed down, eyed us up and down then smiled his creepy smile and began CHANTING. He was chanting actual gibberish - no English words, or any language you'd recognize. It was like he was performing a f*cking ritual on us. It was creepy as hell.

TL;DR - Creepy dark tan guy tried to hit on me and my friends using some mystic ritual at the beach.

20. From CoriCelesti:

I was 17 and in charge of supervising the installation of carpeting in our new apartment, alone. My mom was home packing. This should be an easy task. All I had to do was wander in every couple hours to see how it was going, and the rest of the time I could go for a walk or hang out outside.

The installers were 2 guys, maybe in their 30's. Seemed nice enough to begin with. I introduced myself and explained I'd be around the building if needed for any issues. It became rather apparent that one of the two was being a little too nice, but I just shrugged it off. I was used to it because I looked older than I was and got hit on by older guys on occasion.

The problem is that he didn't stop, and there was a major storm so I was stuck in the building. Every time I was around, he tried to make small talk. He'd ask things about me and what I liked, and talk about himself a bit. He started to flatter me and be rather openly "flirty." I tried to be polite and make it clear I wasn't interested.

Eventually he started asking me out on dates and offered me his number. I kept declining, but he didn't stop. To try and hammer in my point, I casually worked my age into a conversation. To my dismay, his response was to flatter me more and tell me that I could always call him when I turned 18 and he'd show me a good time (I think there was some insinuation about it being an "adult" good time, but I can't remember the wording.)

His partner looked thoroughly embarrassed and kept trying to avoid eye contact, between sneaking rather disgusted looks towards the guy. It was incredibly awkward and I didn't feel very comfortable because he refused to take no as an answer. At one point I got stuck in the dang elevator with him and he "accidentally" hit the wrong buttons, then hinted at how nice it was being stuck with me alone. Gave me the total creeps.

The day ended with him giving me the company card in case there were any problems, then winking at me and telling me to call him soon. His cell number was on the back.

In hindsight, I should have complained to the company itself, because it really, really disturbed me. I wish I had.

TL;DR Creepy carpet installer who was twice my age wouldn't take no for an answer and kept hitting on me, all day, when I was underage.

If you're lucky enough to be spending the quarantine alone, with fun roommates, or with a loving partner--don't forget to light a candle for the people having a more tumultuous lockdown...

Many college students were forced to leave campus due to COVID-19, which for many means knocking right back on mom and dad's door. Many adult city-dwellers have chosen to flee the chaos of cities and return to their childhood homes while the outbreak passes, but it's important to stay extra careful as to not unknowingly carry the virus with you. With so many adults spending isolation with their parents, a few people are definitely regretting their decision. Are you 35 and feeling like you're 15 again? It's ok. You're not alone. Just don't dye you hair black and hot pink and slam the door in your mom's face. She doesn't deserve that...

Regardless of where you're spending your quarantine, it's a wild time for all families. Dads are dancing on TikTok while millennials and Gen Xers are lecturing their parents on the important of social distancing. Gen Z is trying to party the virus away on their spring break. It's not exactly a recipe for a peaceful family lockdown...

Here are 24 of the funniest posts from adults who are spending the quarantine at their parents' house.

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Everyone is handling quarantine differently. But if there's one thing that many of us housebound folks seem to have in common, it's using food to cope. Turns out, being stuck at home, with no end in sight, and cupboards stocked full of "emergency" rations can lend itself to some weird, unusual and/or compulsive eating habits. If you had cereal for "dinner" at 1 am and "breakfast" of cold pizza in bed, or if you simply can't stop chewing, you're definitely not alone.

Here are 23 hilarious and extremely real tweets from people in quarantine about food, eating, and snacking in the time of corona:

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Almost everyone has had at least one job they hated with a passion. Sadly, the scramble for survival has launched many of us into workplaces we wouldn't wish on our worst enemies, but in many cases you don't know how bad it is until you've worked there awhile.

However, there are some workplaces that are so horrible you can see spot the dirty laundry during your first day on the job (whether literally or figuratively). When possible, sometimes the best thing you can do for your mental health is walk away from a job you can already tell will kill your soul and potentially put you in harm's way.

In a popular Reddit thread, people shared the jobs they quit on the first day, and it's safe to say going penniless is still a safer option than some of the gigs out there.

1. From loudlittle:

An ex of mine worked for Kirby, if I recall correctly. He was expected to be in a person’s house for TWO HOURS to sell them this goddamn vacuum. I wouldn’t want a salesman in my house for ten minutes.

He lasted maybe a month and then his paycheck bounced which meant our rent check bounced. It was a mess, much like our relationship.

2. From BobbySurfer2019:

When I was 16 I got a job at KFC, it was disgusting. The kitchen was dirty and people were rude. They had me making the coleslaw. It came in separate bags i.e cabbage in single huge bag, carrots, mayo. I was mixing it by hand and in a huge vat thing. Found a cockroach in there. Told the manager and he replied that it was normal. I quit then and there. Noped outta that place.

3. From dbeey270:

Worked at a recycling plant for medical supplies. My job was to get inside the compressing machines and clean them. The machines were filled with blood needles and sh*t. It was absolutely disgusting. Plus the place was infested with rats.

4. From mustbeshitinme:

Got a job at a sawmill right out of high school. It was probably opened in the 40’s - dangerous as hell. First day One of the guys that worked there was bragging about how good the owner was to work for, held up his 2 fingered hand, touched the two nubs one at a time and said “I got $500 each when that happened!”

About an hour in I went to my car under the auspices of grabbing my thermos. Left and never went back.

5. From Veganpuncher:

Retrieving used formwork. Ten guys throwing 20kg pieces of nail-infested timber down from five floors up. My job was to dodge the falling bits of timber and avoid stepping on nails while I did it for ten hours a day. F*ck that. No first aid guy on site, got a nail through each foot on my first day which I disinfected, bandaged and went back to work.

6. From Flamingo_Lemon:

I was 18 and it was as a waitress for a fancy retirement home, where they made meals to order for the residents who all ate in a communal facility. Somehow we were responsible for knowing a person's dietary restrictions but there was no list of people with dietary restrictions as it's protected health info - we were just supposed to "figure it out." For example, if Grandma was allergic to peanuts, forgot and ordered a dish with peanuts, we were held responsible.

The men keep smacking my butt with their napkins and making inappropriate comments, which was fine with management because they were old/senile. My first shift was supposed to be covering breakfast/lunch (8 hrs) but because so many people quit mid-shift it became a mandated double. I lasted one day. Of the 15 people I trained with, only 1 made it 2 weeks.

7. From Goolajones:

I was working at a restaurant.

A co-worker told me the boss asked him if he would sell him his passport.

Different co-worker said the boss asked him to be a guarantor in a totally blank passport application.

Some customers came up to me to say they overheard some men on the patio talking about trafficking people. Like, in the way that they were discussing plans to do it. Unbeknownst to them, one of these men was the owner.

Owner was from Albania by the way. Not trying to generalize but they are known to be a one of the Human Trafficking hotspots.

I quit that day and called the RCMP. (Sort of like Canada’s FBI)

8. From alex_harold:

As a teen, I applied for a standard teenage summer job picking berries on a farm. Thought I'd be with other people but turns out I was the only one hired and half of the first 12h day was also construction/helping the farm renovate their barn. Not worth it for minimum wage.

9. From Kastba:

Away at college, needed a job. Got hired on at a national pizza chain, with a table involved. Anyway, show up the first day and quickly notice every single person working there is tweaking. Everyone. No way I was going to deal with a bunch of f*cking tweakers, and quit after my first shift. Manger asked why, and I told him because everyone here is tweaking. His response: How did you know?! Maybe it was the dilated eyes, the fact everyone here is sweating like it's 113 degrees out, yet I need a long sleeve shirt to stay warm?

10. From scruffyskitty:

I applied for a call center in my local area, interview went well, hired on the spot and introduced to coworkers (small rented space, less than 20 employees). Was left by manager to chat with future coworkers while I waited for my mom to pick me up (I was still 17 at the time, 3 months shy of 18) when one coworker let's slip some mumble about how he hopes "this young girl doesn't leave like the rest."

I couldn't get the guys words out of my head so when I got home I did some more research on this business and found out they've been hiring for months and constantly losing people, but primarily hiring females who then left the company pretty quickly after.

Found a forum of such employees talking about being sexually harassed while working there, how they never got paid what they were promised, etc. Just really shady things, but immediately after learning about the sexual harrasment claims I called and said I would not be taking the position after all. They didn't even ask for a reason.

11. From Daveinatx:

I tried being an ice cream man over a Summer. 11 hour day, made around $80, and was considered a top seller. If that was the best, I didn't want to see the average day.

My highlight was buying a kid ice cream. He started crying when he didn't have enough. I bought it for him instead.

12. From absolutesh*tbrick:

I applied for a job online titled "feeding baby pigs". I got a call from a man and he gave me a vague description of the job and said I could come to the pig barn and have a chat about it.

So I showed up and he continues to talk about it in a way that gave me a weird vibe. He seemed very desperate to hire somebody. He ran it by me that 'occasionally' a piglet may need to be put down so I figured that's what the elephant in the room was.

I show up my first day at 7am and I enter the barn. You are required to shower off before you enter due to human-swine disease contraction. After that I enter and the first thing I smell is the strongest odour of ammonia I have ever smelt. The place was like prison cells of 500lb pigs and my job was to feed them. I was instructed to shock them with a shocking stick if they were lying down and wouldn't get up to eat. Which I didn't like. Sometimes you had to repeatedly do it and it felt cruel.

I continue to follow around this woman who is sort of touring me around / training me. I'm noticing piles of dead and blackened piglets in the aisle ways. I guess it's common for the mothers to accidently roll on them and squish them because they are so massive.

I mentioned the overpowering smell of ammonia but what was even worse was the amount of flies in the place. And they were so aggressive. You could barely take a breath without literally breathing in a fly and if you did it was a polluted breath of pure ammonia.

I'm continuing the tour and still pretty much only feeding massive 500 lb pigs. At the end of our feeding round we finally get to the place where the piglets are.

There are slightly bigger pens with mothers nursing very small newborn like piglets. There's a couple pens with a mother specifically for feeding runts from other pens that weren't strong enough to fight for a tit.

What I learned was if the runts in these pens still show no signs of being able to nurse we need to put them down. The method of putting these newborn piglets down is to grab them by their hind legs and basically tomahawk them on the cement floor so that the back of their head hits first.

I asked my trainer how often this needs to be done (because I was told it was only seldom) and she said it's a daily occurrence.

I told her right then that I don't have it in me to do that, let alone everyday, and that I would not be able to sleep at night if I did this for a living. I said I don't see myself pursuing this and don't want to waste anybody's time. I didn't mention all the other stuff to her. I used the baby pig killing as a point to get me out of there.

I was only in there for 2 or 3 hours but when I got home I had a cough and sore throat for the rest of the day from the ammonia. By far the worst job I ever had.

Tldr: a job for feeding baby piglets turned out to be tomahawking piglets onto the cement.

13. From accidentallatte:

When I was 14 I got a job at one of the few fast food places in town that hired kids under 16. I went to orientation, where they explained the positions different age groups could fill. My job would be to take people's orders out to their cars. I wasn't allowed to touch money or work the fryer. I showed up on the first day and was told my whole shift would be on the fryer. I told them I was 14 and not allowed to, plus I hadn't been trained on it. The guy basically said tough sh*t and tried to hand me a hair net. I just left.

14. From BradyBunch12:

I didn't but it was not uncommon at all to see new Amazon delivery drivers quit after 1-3 days. They picture it as driving and just sitting on their butt was my theory. Delivering 250 packages to 180 stops is hard work. Loading the van + walking some stupid ass driveways/stairs with heavy packages + traffic can be overwhelming.

15. From SnowQuixote:

Wendy's. I worked a lot of fast food when I was a teenager, but being corrected on the way I said mayonnaise was too much apparently, lmao. We are weird when we're kids.

16. From yakshack:

I was 23, out of college with a business degree, and I had just done a year teaching English in Eastern Europe and when I got back to the U.S. it was hard to find a job (2008). My hometown is really small and there weren't many opportunities so I was primarily applying in Nearest Big City. I was living with my parents and full time job searching for about 4 months when I got a job at a translating company. It was billed as a project manager as most of their work was remote with translators working all over the world.

For my first week the company put me up in an Extended Stay with the idea that I'd find something permanent while I was there onboarding. Cool.

My first day on the job it became very clear that this "global translating company" was actually about 5 people and my position as "project manager" was actually receptionist. Seriously, the most exciting part of the day was walking across the building to pick up the mail.

I went to the hotel every night and cried on the phone to my mom, both about the sh*tty job and also that I was so stressed about trying to find an apartment or room to rent in a week with a $26,000 salary. (A mid-size city in the Midwest during an economic downturn is a bleak place to be)

My mom and dad told me that if it was truly that terrible and stressful that I should quit, move back with them and find something better.

I did just that. I told my boss I'd finish out the week and, as no one had even asked or attempted to start the hiring paperwork while I was there, also a huge red flag to me, I told them not to pay me and just cover the hotel.

It's the only time I've ever quit a job without notice.

A few months later I found a much better job in that same city. It didn't pay that much more, but was with a big local nonprofit and the rest is history.

17. From ChefHannibal:

it was a "brew house": code for independently owned Applebee's with more beer options, usually local. The cooks smoked on the line, trash was thrown on the floor ankle-deep until the end of the night, the "confetti" in the ceiling light covers were bugs, the ceiling tiles were brown from having never been cleaned, the floor even with non-slip shoes felt like I was walking on ice from the oil and whatever else, the chimney of the fryer caught on fire and I was told that happened every 2-3 days.

I worked 4 hours, got my shift meal, told them I couldn't do it because I didn't want to be there the day they got a less lenient health inspector.

18. From Flahdagal:

Not me, but my coworkers. When I was 19 I had a summer job doing quality inspection of vias on ceramic substrates. What that meant was you got to work, put on a clean room suit, went through the air bath and into the clean tent. Clean tent was dark, not pitch black but not light enough to read much. Long table in the middle with two stations either side. Sit on stool, retrieve the first tray of substrates.

These were about the size of an old photo slide, about 2"x2", but a little thicker. Place the first piece on the lighted microscope stand and inspect, scanning the entire piece as you're hunched over the microscope, side to side, about three minutes per piece. Note inspection on sheet, reach for next piece.

Repeat by the hundreds. Repeat on Tuesday, then Wednesday, etc etc. There were two of us that made it through the whole summer. Most of the other hires lasted one day or less. More than one hire left during the training session.

19. From homeric34:

I was in a seconded job but was later offered another job by the CEO of the company I was seconded to. He tried to convince me to take the job without any contract or any assurance that the position was in any way secure once I assumed it and then later that day tried to withhold my salary after he heard rumors that I was resigning. I was thinking of resigning but I hadn't made my intentions official yet so I pleaded my case until they finally released my salary. An hour after withdrawing my salary, I submitted my resignation.

20. From MogadonMandy:

McDonald’s when I was 16. Thrown straight in to work the grill during a very busy lunchtime. Kept getting shouted at because I was making mistakes. Then after they gave me a brush that was the size of a toothbrush and told me to clean the grill. I just went in the back, picked up my bag and went home.

Who would have thought that the antidote to the quarantine blues was a docuseries about big cats and sex cults?

If you've spent any time on the internet lately—and of course you have, what else is there to do—you will have become familiar with two controversial subjects: Donald Trump's handling of the coronavirus pandemic and Tiger King, a deep dive into the homicidal people who run their own tiger zoos.

Donald Trump Jr. was likely feeling jealous that people were talking about someone other than him or his dad for a hot sec, and shared a meme which photoshopped Daddy's face onto Joe Exotic...as if it's a good thing.

Joe Exotic is currently serving a 22-year prison term for attempted murder-for-hire and federal wildlife law-related charges, including euthanizing five tigers. Like Donald Trump, he has run for office, and has multiple spouses, including two at the same time. Exotic's claims to fame include getting straight men to marry him by providing him with weed and meth.

Journalist Aaron Rupar shared a screenshot of Don Jr.'s post with the caption "who wants to tell him?", and people proceeded to call Don Jr. dumb.

What a difference being born with money makes.

The comparison isn't exactly apt. Joe Exotic's 2018 gubernatorial platform was "anti-cyberbullying."

Meanwhile, the real Joe Exotic is lobbying the president for a pardon.

If COVID-19 gets even worse, Trump will almost certainly pardon his "kindred spirit" to change the narrative for five minutes.

It's no big secret that big corporations lie to consumers. And small corporations are guilty as well. In fact, if you patronize a business, there is probably a lot you don't know about what goes on behind the scenes, and some of it might be pretty shady. But while businesses have reasons to keep these secrets hidden, their employees don't. Especially if they no longer work there!

Someone asked Reddit: "what did your job want you to hide from customers?" These 25 former employees (and a few current ones) spill the dirt on things their employers encouraged them to hide from customers:

1.) From loonygecko:

My old boss invented a fake employee that he would blame all mistakes on when speaking with customers. Once in a while, he would tell the customers he 'fired' that imaginary employee and then come up with a new name for a new imaginary employee that would be the new sucker.

2.) From VeganMisandry:

I work at a place that makes artisan french fries. For the last year or so, we've advertised plain old red potatoes as laura potatoes, which are similar but 10000x better. A red potato is red on the outside and white/starchy like a russet on the inside. A laura potato is red on the outside and gold, buttery, smooth, all around awesome on the inside. It's implicit, but we're pretty much encouraged to just lie to people.
We only got called out once when an actual potato farmer came to eat there, but other than that, we mostly get away with it. The injustice of it all.

3.) From [deleted]:

The cup of soup and bowl of soup were the exact same size. People would pay more for a bowl, and just get a cup of soup in a bowl that was shorter and wider at the bottom than the cup.

4.) From IAmGodMode:

At Trugreen they told us to tell customers rain won't wash away the liquid fertilizer and weed control we spray. But it does. A simple Google search will tell you. They also tell customers we can kill crab grass and other grassy weeds. What they don't tell you is that when grassy weeds "die" they don't wilt away. They turn purple, but they will still be there.

5.) From [deleted]:

I worked at McDonald's and they taught me how to pinch the fry carton just right while putting the fries into them so that it looked full, but actually wasn't.

I only had 1 customer call me out on it. He shook the fries out into his bag and poured them back into the fry carton himself and it only filled up half way, so I had to give him more fries. I was impressed and embarrassed. It's been 7 years and I can still see his face.

6.) From ballsahurt:

When I still worked there, Staples charged 160 for basically running malware-byte and CCleaner and called it virus removal , and I think most people know 160 was bullshit for that, but it was always the old people that got screwed with that BS.

7.) From carl_global:

Former Geek Squad here. We weren't allowed to perform computer hardware installs in front of customers. Managers didn't want them to see just how damn easy it really is.

8.) From kakejaufman:

Worked at a bike rent shop where we told customers we sanitized the helmets we rented via 'heat treatment'. 'Heat treatment' consisted of having some sorry ass high schooler run up to the top of the building, essentially the attic of this old wooden structure, and just leave them in boxes, or, if they were wet, hung from nails to drip and dry.

9.) From BRUNCH_DESTROYER:

I've worked for two separate escape rooms. Everyone who didnt get out "got really close". Usually we'll show you what you missed if there's only a few puzzles left. If we don't show you anything it's because we didn't want to make you feel bad.

10.) From _userlame:

I used to work in a jewelry shop that sold cheap chinese shit silver/gold painted plastic jewelry, none of it being real metal, but every sale i had to up sell one of these $5 'polishing cloths', you can't polish a turd the only thing this cloth did was rub the cheap paint off the plastic faster, I felt like such a con artist.

11.) From bitcornonthecob:

A burrito chain that I worked at was on Undercover Boss. In the episode, the chain wouldn't let ABC show the fact that our guacamole comes from avocado paste-not fresh avocados.

12.) From fantastiskandie:

Worked at a restaurant that also did catering. People would come in for tastings regularly for things like weddings and we'd give them samples of some of our food. The big thing at these tastings was the cheesecake, which was made in house to be served in the restaurant and was pretty great. What we didn't tell them was that for catering events, we bought premade cheesecakes instead. I think they were Marie Callender's. Basically we'd sell them on our cheesecake then give them something less good that was easier/cheaper for us. Honestly, we were stretching ourselves a little thin with catering. It was always a mess trying to get all the food prepared as well as run the restaurant. We had one chef who worked every single day and the waiters doubled as caterers, sometimes working long wait and catering shifts back to back.

13.) From deerlingfling:

I work at a shoe store, and we recently got a shipment of "clearance sandals" (aka years old sandals they had shoved in some warehouse). As I was putting them out I noticed some had green stuff all over them... mold. We were instructed by corporate to wipe it off and sell them anyway. Luckily my manager is sane and refuses to put out the moldy shoes, but still some sketchy shit.

14.) From Vibriofischeri:

If something you eat says "no added (X)" this means whatever ingredient X is, it has been added instead by adding an ingredient naturally high in that in lieu of adding it in its pure form. For example if you've got something that says "No added MSG", they likely threw a bunch of yeast extract in there instead, which contains plenty of MSG.

Edit: A few people commented (and I fully agree) that MSG is not bad or dangerous by any standard unless you have an allergy. MSG makes food have better flavor and texture and doesn't make something less healthy (except for the health effects of sodium in general). This is just an example. They do the same things with other, actually worrysome ingredients, such as sodium nitrite.

15.) From CatCairo:

I machine embroider shirts for different companies. If the stitching doesn't line up (such as an outline around a logo) and the colors allow for it, we have a bucket full of markers to recolor the tread, even going as far as coloring the shirt that shows through to make it look cohesive. The best ones are Sharpie or dry erase markers.

16.) From TheHeliox:

Worked at a nursery (plants, not babies) that sold xmas trees in winter. We had to have two employees per customer in the lot at all times. One to talk to and distract the customer, the other to hold up the particular tree they were interested in and shake the rats out while said customer was distracted. Basically these people were buying 50$ rat nests to put in their house.

17.) From kateykmck:

I worked in the vegetable seed industry. Some varieties that were "exclusive" to certain customers were just repackaged and renamed seed of an existing variety.

If something was underselling, they just changed the name, rewrote the description and claimed it was a better, sister line.

It was always funny though when customers demanded the old line because the new one "wasn't as good". We'd just shrug, change the label back to the old name and off it went...

18.) From Mypopsecrets:

Worked for a shady computer repair company that took in "electronic recycling". He would charge a dollar an inch to dispose of old CRT monitors and then toss them into the dumpster. This was just one of the many shady things he did.

Edit: a lot of people are saying they'll just toss their stuff in the trash. Please don't. There are legit places out there that will dispose of electronics responsibly. Look for companies that are R2 certified.

19.) From MsPennyApple:

I worked at an art glass store that sold glass, mostly made in China with very few actual nice pieces. We were told to peel the 'Made in China' stickers off. If anyone asked where the glass came from we would say New Jersey, which is where the supplier was from. I always felt like Danny Devito in Matilda changing the odometer on his used cars.

20.) From ThePopojijo:

Restaurant: that we would reheat sauces for several days and depending on how many times this had happened they would look and taste completely different. I told my friends and family to not eat there as there was plenty of sketchy shit going on there.

21.) From rroses-:

marking shit up so we can put it on 'sale'

Edit: I work at a small, family-owned specialty store. I know a lot of bigger businesses have been caught doing this, but my boss really has to in order to compete with them and their prices.

22.) From clockworkgirl21:

In fast food, drive thru comes first because they're the majority of customers. If you come in you'll get your food between us serving drive thru.

23.) From ARealBillsFan:

The Cheesecakes are not 'frozen'. They are 'deeply chilled' which from what I have gathered is an industry term roughly equating to Frozen AF. Plus a bunch of other stuff.

24.) From Fabri-cobbler:

I worked at a high end resort, like $2000/person a night at the time, they billed themselves as eco, but did things that definitely weren't. Probably the most enjoyable were the slop dumping runs, where we would go and dump kitchen scraps in the ocean. The idea was to not have bears get into it, so we'd freeze it in 5 gallon buckets and go dump it in the ocean. We used the same spot, and had a crab trap set up there, because this stuff attracted crabs like crazy. We were instructed to not dump slop on guest arrival days though, since there was a bit of a slick formed (who knew rich people food was so fatty?). Anyway, one day we forgot and dumped a load on an arrivals day, when one of the guests commented on the slick, I blamed the fish farms nearby. They have since changed their ways, and run a pretty good show now, but back in the day, we were eco in front redneck in the back.

25.) From Hail_storm4:

I work at a movie theater. People are always trying to sneak food in. In our employee handbooks it actually says people can bring food in as long as it doesn't smell bad. It's funny to see customers nervously hide their bags so we don't see it.

Anyone who loves to watch and listen to true crime content will absolutely crack up at the hilarious memes in this list. As a true crime junkie myself I can assure you these memes are not only funny but relatable as hell.

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In a perfect world, people would mind their own business and not give a care what other people wear. We all have bodies and are familiar with the basic parts, and obsessing over ideals of modesty often leads into a slippery slope of objectification.

Unfortunately, our world is far from perfect, and far too many people feel it's their duty to share their opinions on other people's clothing (or lack thereof). As with most invasions of space, this disproportionately happens to women, since our bodies are still overly sexualized and policed in public spaces.

In a recent post on the Am I The A*shole subreddit, a woman shared a recent interaction with a neighbor who scolded her for jogging braless.

AITA for running without a bra on?

OP shared that her gym has been temporarily closed down (presumably due to coronavirus), so she's been getting her exercise jogging around the neighborhood.

Out of a personal preference for comfort, OP has opted to go braless on her runs.

My (27f) gym has temporarily closed down so i'm trying to workout at home. I've been running around 9pm most nights. It's cold where I live so I run in leggings, a long sleeve workout shirt, and a buff to keep my ears warm. When I go to the gym I'll wear a sports bra so nothing is noticeable if you know what i mean. I don't need to wear one. I can jog comfortably without one so when I'm running around my neighborhood I don't put one on.

All was fine and well until OP ran past a family of four the other night, all of whom gave her a stare.

Last night I passed a family of four (mum, dad, girl and boy around 8-13) on the opposite side of the street from me and I noticed they turned their heads as I ran by. No big deal. At the end of the street I turned and ran up the next street over and at the end of that street I ran into the family again. I had my earbuds in but I could tell they were talking and wanted my attention. I stopped, paused my music, and listened and the parents were quite irritated. They said I should have some decency and run with a bra on because a lot more families are out and walking around now and they don't want to see me running like that.

When OP circled the block again the family flagged her down and told her she should put on a bra during her next run, since a "lot more families are out."

I was definitely taken aback. I could only say "you've got to be kidding me?" before I left and started to run again. For context, I am not resembling Pam Anderson doing a Baywatch run. I'm petite, i'm proportionate, and when I run my shirts collar is above my collarbone. The only thing you can notice is that it's cold.

While OP feels the family was out of pocket for giving their unsolicited opinion, the interaction made her wonder whether she betrayed a social rule by running braless.

It's been eating at me since it happened. I have moments of self assurance that fade into guilt and scumminess. I don't know if I violated a big social norm here. AITA?

MinionsHaveWonOne pointed out that it can't be that scandalous if OP is comfortable running sans bra.

My tits are hurting just thinking about running braless but if you can comfortably do this then you do you. NTA.

cherry_149 thinks OP should be allowed to run topless if she wants.

NEVER! Free the nipple.

As a petite female, I don’t like wearing bras. You should not be forced to wear one because other people can’t be mature enough to handle female anatomy

NTA.

AngiePange713 thinks OP did nothing wrong, but cannot imagine running braless comfortably.

NTA but my boobs hurt just thinking about running without a sports bra.

tritoeat thinks it's deeply creepy for a whole family to admit they were looking at OP's chest.

NTA, so creepy of them to comment instead of just averting their eyes. Also, fwiw, I'm a runner too and I can't tell you how many race pics have me rocking the headlights, bra and all. It happens, and it's only weird when people make it weird.

YorkPepperMintPaddy thinks the woman only confronted OP out of jealousy and insecurity.

NTA. Their children probably had no clue, mom was likely jealous and dad secretly enjoyed a nice change of scenery. Next time don’t break your stride. Careful with those ear buds though.

alwaystired7 thinks nipples need to be normalized, regardless of gender and activity.

NTA and honestly what the heck? It’s a biological response and nothing to be ashamed of or stopped by strangers on the street over. Everyone has nipples and everyone’s nipples react to temperature. Just because you’re a woman doesn’t change that. It’s creepy of them to stop you to talk about your body.

While it's clear that people online agree that OP doesn't owe her neighbors anything, her experience highlights just how policed women's bodies are in public, and how we oversexualize bodies in general.

Quarantine means a whole lot more video calls than ever before...

It's 2020, which means when most of us get a phone call we throw our phone down and run for the nearest exit. However, that was before the COVID-19 outbreak forced us into social distancing self-isolation. Since we can't see our friends and families anymore, video calling is the best way to connect. Messages that used to be texts or DMs are now video calls which means we all need to mind our posture and stop filming our faces from below.

Birthday parties, dinner parties, game nights, family reunions, work meetings, and other important events have all become virtual for the time being. If you weren't someone who was into yoga before, chances are you're not going to want to hop on a four-way video chat and take an online yoga class. But that won't stop all your friends from inviting you! Get with the program, your life is a video call now. However, that doesn't mean you can't have a little fun with it...

The quarantine can't stop jokes! Here are 23 of the funniest posts we could find from people who are using the Zoom background feature to the absolute best of their abilities...

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Quarantine has been all about movies, now it's time to make movies all about quarantine.

Jimmy Fallon's latest hashtag game to bring the internet together for something other than anxiety is the pun-tastic #QuarantineAMovie challenge.

He kicked off the trend with a soon-to-be Disney classic.

Here are hilarious ones from people who don't have their own TV shows.

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Staying connected with your friends, family, and coworkers is more important than ever now that we are all at home. Zoom has definitely come in handy for people to have meetings, classes, and happy hours virtually. These hilarious memes pretty much some up the Zoom experience. Absolutely no one is wearing pants right now.

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Social media is full of celebrities and big brands continuing to advertise their wares in the midst of a global pandemic. But thankfully, many brands are also pivoting to make medical supplies for hospitals in need, free of charge.

Kylie Jenner's Kylie Skin is the latest to announce it's producing COVID-19 supplies. Here are the details, plus a list of other companies that have joined the fight.

1. Kylie Skin is making hand sanitizer.

Kylie Jenner and mom Kris Jenner announced on March 31 that Kylie Skin would partner with its investor, Coty, to make hand sanitizer.

“The custom hand sanitizer includes a special message for recipients: ‘Dedicated to first responders working to support our communities,'” a press release said.

Kylie's skincare company and her sister Kim's makeup line, KKW Beauty, have both halted regular production due to lockdown orders, according to Page Six.

2. Givenchy, Christian Dior and Guerlain are making 12 tons of hand sani, too.

Luxury giant LVMH owns three perfume and cosmetics factories that create Givenchy, Christian Dior and Guerlain goods. Those factories will now be creating hand sanitizer to aid French health workers, according to the Guardian.

Dior is also using its fashion facilities to make masks.

3. Zara donated its resources to the Spanish government.

Zara has pivoted from going-out tops to medical masks. The brand made its factories and resources available to the Spanish government to receive shipments of masks, according to Vogue. The company is also sourcing textiles to create medical gowns.

4. Prada is making medical masks alongside thousand-dollar bags for the moment.

The Italian luxury house is shooting to manufacture 110,000 masks by April 6, according to the Guardian.

5. Gucci is also making masks.

The Italian house upped the ante to announce they're making a million masks, according to the Guardian. Just keep them away from all the Gucci-hoarding influencers!

7. L'Oréal's factories are now hand sanitizer central.

The cosmetics giant, which owns everything from La Roche-Posay to Garnier, is making and distributing hand sanitizer all over Europe, according to InStyle.

8. Mercedes-AMG F1 is majorly stepping up to the plate to make ventilators in the UK.

The company usually makes race cars, but now they're leading the charge to up production of ventilators, according to the BBC. They're hoping to produce 1,000 CPAP machines per day.

9. Dyson has pivoted from super-fancy vacuum cleaners to ventilators.

The high-tech vacuum and blow-dryer giant is hoping to help manufacture 10,000 ventilators for the NHS, the UK's healthcare system, according to ITV.

10. Tesla's factory is reportedly reopening to make ventilators in New York.

Tesla head Elon Musk has come a long way since this ill-advised March 9 tweet:

He's thankfully changed his tune. He announced that Tesla's New York factory will reopen to make ventilators as soon as possible, and he bought 1,000 ventilators from China to distribute in California, according to Vox.

Tensions are running high in a lot of households these days, and one family's in crisis because of their preference to not speak English at home.

A woman took to Reddit to ask for advice after her sister-in-law got upset that she couldn't understand the bilingual family's non-English conversations. She says she should speak whatever language she wants in her house, while the sister-in-law says that's rude and exclusionary.

The woman admits she doesn't like her sister-in-law:

My (33f) husband's (36m) sister (35f) is currently staying with us because of many circumstances. She will be staying with us for the foreseeable future. I'm gonna be honest, I wasn't exactly excited about her staying with us but she didn't have anywhere else to go so I relented. I frankly just don't really like her, although we're completely civil.

Her family's bilingualism is important to her:

Now, my parents are from a certain European country and my first language was that country's language. My heritage is important to me and being bilingual has helped me out immensely throughout my life. When we first started dating, my husband made an effort to learn the language, and now although he isn't exactly fluent, he can understand and speak it well.

Normally, she, her husband, and the kids speak the other language at home:

We also have two kids (9f and 6m). At home, they are supposed to speak my language. We absolutely don't have a problem when they speak English at school, or with friends at our house, or occasionally if they can't figure out how to say it otherwise. But overall, they are supposed to limit their use of English in the house and we enforce this.

Now that the sister-in-law lives with them, they're speaking English at home a bit:

The problem is that my sister in law is now staying with us and, like most Americans, only speaks English. Absolutely we have all conversations with her or involving her in English. Like at the dinner table, we all speak English so she can understand. But the rest of the time my kids and I continue to speak my language, as it's also the one we prefer, although my husband speaks mostly English to involve her.

But not 100% of the time:

This morning, I was cuddling with the kids on the couch reading them a story. We were all speaking the language as we usually do. My sister in law was sitting in a chair next to us. She asked me a question, I responded in English, then went back to speaking with my kids. We were all just laughing, having a great time.

The sister-in-law snapped and called the non-English-speakers impolite:

Then she snapped at me. She said that it was impolite to speak in front of her when she couldn't understand, and that she had put up with it but had enough. She said she was tired of the private conversations and not knowing what I was saying about her, and that she wanted to spend time with her nieces and couldn't if she didn't understand them.

Things escalated:

I couldn't believe that she talked to me like that in my own house. I told her that she had 35 years to learn another language, and that it wasn't my fault she never had. I told her that in my house I speak whatever language I want, and that if she didn't like it she should GTFO.

Now the woman's wondering if she was, in fact, in the wrong:

She was very clearly scandalized and left. I guess she complained my husband. He got mad at me and said that I shouldn't speak to her like that. But she snapped at me first! I told him that she was free to speak whatever language, but so was I, and if she didn't like it she could find somewhere else to stay.

Now my husband is pissed at me but I know I'm in the right. AITA?

The people of Reddit had a variety of responses — but most seemed to agree that the sister-in-law had a point.

G0rill4 sympathized with the sister-in-law's feelings:

This is a tough one because Ive been on your SIL side and it really sucks. Marrying into a bilingual family that would only speak english in direct conversation with me and no any other time.

Its not their fault of course but I just felt like a piece of furniture or like I was gatecrashing a party and had no one to talk too.. I barely speak to that side of the family anymore (even though I took time to learn their language - they just turned out to be assholes in 2 languages) bit I will say me and my kids are a lot closer to the kids and parents who spoke English regularly than those who didnt.

Not to mention, the sister-in-law's being kicked while she's down:

I imagine in your SILs case its even worse because shes homeless and having issues and its her kid niece and nephew who are fueling her feelings of insignificance - thats like a double ouch. I think her outburst is not coming from an a-hole place but one of frustration and feeling like trash.

Classycatblogger pointed out that there's a pretty simple solution:

Why not include her by asking the kids to help her learn the language? Maybe they could work with her to help create flash cards, and they can draw the word and write it in the two languages. Maybe they can help her learn to count to 10. It’s a tough situation, but trying to include her could be fun and would make life more tolerable for all!

Symmetryofzero pointed out that there's a difference between having a "house rule" and enforcing it to the discomfort of others:

yes it's your house your rules, doesn't mean you should enforce them. She's a guest, and family. You're deliberately excluding her because you don't like her. Don't dress it up as anything else.

And laserfox90 thinks the "house rule" is a bit on the psycho side:

I’m bilingual, all my friends are bilingual, and I’ve literally never heard of parents literally pressuring their kids to not speak English at home. Wtf kinda authoritarian rule is that?? I and all my friends grew up speaking mixed English and X language with our parents (like Spanglish) and we’re all fine. A lot of times we’d just speak in English with our parents if we got bored of speaking the native language, yet we’re still fine and fluent. I’m not surprised her SIL got annoyed tbh.

And ISpewVitriol pointed out the biggest elephant in the room — she clearly is doing this because she doesn't like her sister-in-law:

You don’t like her and you were being an a-hole about it. You and your children speaking another language around her when you all can speak English is intentionally excluding her. You don’t have to sacrifice your language for her sake, you are being over dramatic and finding excused because as you said, you don’t really like her.

So... anyone wanna start a GoFundMe to get the sister-in-law her own place?

If you need a laugh right now, you've come to the right place. These memes are funny as heck. Sorry for using such strong language, but darn it, this is some comedy gold right here.

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People around the world are finding creative and new ways to communicate and still do their daily routines while in quarantine.

Thanks to video calls and meetings on Zoom or Google Hangouts, classes are still in session (sorry kids) and students everywhere from kindergarten to college are adjusting to the change. While many students no longer have to wake up early and commute to school, having class online doesn't always make things easier. Technical difficulties, Zoom hacks, and prank backgrounds are temporarily a normal part of school. If your professor accidentally turns herself into a potato, just pretend everything is ok...

Luckily, some students and professors are still finding the humor in having to take school from the classroom to the screen. Here are the funniest posts about people struggling through their online classes. Enjoy!

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Workplace social dynamics have rapidly changed as everyone moves operations online during mass quarantine. Instead of gathering around large tables for meetings, companies are moving employees into Zoom chat groups, and a lot of people have yet to finesse the art of making their home offices or share screens office friendly.

This is to say, there have been a sizable handful of virtual workplaces interrupted by accidental screen captures of people using the bathroom, changing their clothes, and various technical difficulties. It'll take a minute for everyone to reach the same level of technical adeptness, and in the mean time there are plenty of awkward moments to go around.

To this very point, in a recent post on the Am I The A*shole subreddit, OP shared how they discovered a coworker's erotic fiction after peeping it on a share-screen.

AITA for sharing a coworker’s erotic fiction with others in the office?

When OP's coworker shared their screen during an online presentation, OP noticed a tab open with an erotic story.

A coworker was sharing their screen with us during a brief component of a presentation and I happened to catch a page open to the side. I was bored during the presentation so absentmindedly started reading it and to my surprise I realized it was a dirty story.

It was well written and actually pretty hot. To the point that I thought “let me grab this for later.”

OP ended up bookmarking the website and username and read through more of the stories after work.

I was able to discern from the available window what the story title was and the name of the website so I went to the website and I did manage to find the same story. I ended up really enjoying the story so I clicked on the username and read a few of the other stories.

There were some series stories with multiple parts or recurring characters, and one was, to my utter shock, pretty obviously our office and people in it. Which meant this wasn’t something they were reading. This was something they were writing.

OP had no idea the stories were written by their coworker until they came across an erotica written about multiple people from their office.

I was so amused by there being about two dozen erotic stories of the people in our office that without thinking I messaged the entire link to a longtime friend explaining what I’d found out that day.

OP ended up sending the link to a friend, along with all of their findings, thinking it would stay between the two of them.

I had intended it to just be a laugh between us, but I hadn’t communicated that to them in time, because they immediately sent it to 5 other people. You can see where this is going. Our entire office knows about it now. Especially with so little other socialization or interoffice drama.

However, the erotica soon made the rounds and now the whole office has read it, and OP's coworker was able to trace it back to them.

So the poor author managed to reverse engineer the spread and find out I am the one who first found it and sent it around. They’re mortified. Beyond embarrassed. Actually seriously considering quitting because they’re not sure how they could reasonably return to work with these people after they’d read about something like this and how she thinks about them in the context of fantasy.

OP apologized and told their coworker the quality writing was what made them so enthralled. Understandably though, that apology didn't undo the humiliation OP's coworker was feeling.

I apologized and told her it’s because I thought it was so well written that I looked them up and read them in the first place, but understandably, that wasn’t enough to smooth this over.

Now, OP's coworker is considering quitting out of embarrassment, and OP is unsure whether they are a full-on jerk, or they just made a really big mistake.

I don’t know whether I’m an idiot who made an honest mistake in the moment, or an a*shole who made a malicious mistake that’s inexcusable.

AITA?

PoshyStroons thinks OP is 100 percent TA, and playing dumb.

You are totally and completely YTA.

So much so it boils my blood.

You're an a*shole for:

• being nosy, and snooping on someone else's computer

• sharing said material when you realized that it involved people in your office

• your poor excuse of an apology in the vein of a backhanded compliment in the face of your co-worker considering quitting solely because of your actions

Personally my views are that all of your excuses are sh*t, and you wanted to watch the drama. There's a reason even published authors use pen names for the erotica they write.

Be a better person, because you suck.

MinnieMooMoocher thinks OP and their coworker are both equally creepy.

This sub is weird.

He's TA for for sharing what was private, fine, whatever.

But she's not the AH for writing erotic stories about real people without their consent and then publishing them publicly? That is a blatant AH move, creepy as f*ck and a giant red flag.

I wonder how all the people writing "Y T A" would feel if somebody wrote and then published an erotic story about them without their consent.

Very clear ESH. Anyone saying otherwise is a creep.

thoughtfulmind29 feels awful for OP's coworker.

YTA. Majorly. It was painful to read this one. I feel terrible for your co-worker. I cannot even imagine how she feels right now but I know it's terrible.

cleyork thinks everyone is a bit in the wrong.

ESH. It's kind of f*cked up to write sexual stories about people you know, and then make the mistake of accidentally showing that work to those people, but you also should have told the person you were sharing it with to not share it with everybody else.

Webbievanderquack thinks OP is underestimating the painful position they put their coworker in.

YTA. You should have know that sending it to one person was basically unleashing it in the office. You have put the author in an extremely painful position. I think you know you're TA here.

AnnieJack thinks everyone is going a bit too easy on OP's coworker.

ESH

But I think the author is a bigger AH than you are. They had this up on a screen they were sharing. What kind of idiocy is that? Don't publicly display something that you won't want to be public!

Unlike many of the more cut-and-dry AITA discussions, this one has brought out a lot of vastly different perspectives. It seems clear that OP shouldn't have shared their discovery with others. However, it's also worth considering how inappropriate it was for their coworker to have erotica pulled up during a work call in the first place.

2020 might not be a big year for April Fool's Day pranks, since the coronavirus has pranked all of us into remaining quarantined for the foreseeable future (savage!). Although I do plan to prank myself later by pretending to put on jeans.

But if you're looking to spice up your quarantine, let's take a trip down memory lane, to a time when people did mean things to people and then laughed at them about it. Those were simpler times. I'd give anything to have a co-worker put a whoopie cushion on my chair or a friend lie to my face and then screech "APRIL FOOLS!" from closer than 6' feet away.

People on Reddit are sharing the best April Fools Day pranks they've pulled or had someone pull on them. Here are 27 of the funniest, meanest, and most diabolical things people have done in the name of "April Fools":

1.) From ProudTurtle:

There are 4 doors to our building and my co-worker put a sign on each one that says "Door broken use other door" with an arrow pointing left.

2.) From Claim_to_Lame:

piece of opaque tape over the lazer on everyones mouse. IT was pretty pissed, I need to take that one to the grave with me.

3.) From Facefoxa:

I work in Sales, and it seems like we always have a new guy around April. I like to write down on a post it "Please follow up with Mr. Baer at..." and then the number for the San Francisco zoo.

4.) From FuzzyManPeach:

I recently purchased an espresso machine that leaves me with little hard pucks of compressed coffee grounds. I intend on covering them in frosting and leaving them on the break room table at work. Muhaha.

5.) From isablaubear:

A greek radio station once said on the news that Greece would quit the euro and go back to their old currency (this was before the whole economy crisis there). The greek stock market had a crazy and troubled morning until they finally got that it was only an April Fools Joke.

6.) From JMace:

High school summer, my friend had a habit of getting up at 1 or 2 in the afternoon. I dropped by his place and his mom informed me that he was still sleeping and I should go wake him up.

He's a really heavy sleeper so I decided to have a little fun. I moved his cell phone into the center of the floor, about 4 feet from his bed. I crawled under the bed and gave him a call. No response. Called again and I finally heard movement.

Hand comes down, can't quite reach the phone. Foot comes down, another foot. He's got the phone sitting down on the edge of the bed.

A very groggy, "..hey, what's up man.. what are you up to?"

I pull off the best freddy kreuger voice I can muster, and yell out, "I'M UNDER THE BED" and grab his ankles with a vice grip. He jumps halfway across the room, nearly faceplants since I have his feet. He kicks my hands away and half scamper/crawls across the room until he realizes what happened. There was lots of swearing, he didn't think it was as funny as I did.

7.) From LaboratoryManiac:

My mom used to be a hunt-and-peck typer, so one year I pried all the keys off of her keyboard and re-arranged them in alphabetical order.

She got pretty mad, but she decided that maybe she should learn to type properly, so she did. That prank wouldn't work today.

8.) From MrQuickLine:

We bought a house before it was built. When we went to the design centre to pick all of our options, we picked a sink with a vegetable sprayer. I told my wife in November, "Every April Fool's Day for as long as we're in this house, I am going to tape down the handle to that sprayer and make sure you're the first one to use the sink."

Every night on March 31, I go to bed last. Before I leave the kitchen, I empty the kettle and the Tassimo. And for 3 years in a row, our April 1 has started with a scream and a wet kitchen.

9.) From sjarfish:

When I was a kid, I woke up really early on April Fool's, crept into the kitchen, and pulled a salt and sugar switch (I filled the sugar bowl with salt and the salt shaker with sugar). I thought it was going to be HILARIOUS. I also planned some other small pranks, but the whole day passed without anyone in my family using the salt or the sugar. My easily distracted child brain completely forgot to switch them back.

Days passed, and that weekend my little brother had a video game sleepover party...the next morning my dad made cinnamon sugar toast for everyone, and piled big spoonfuls of sugar on the toast. All of my brother's friends were gagging and spitting toast out on their plates, one kid even cried. My dad was so confused and hurt that no one liked his breakfast, and when I realized what was going on I ran into the kitchen and joyfully screamed "APRIL FOOOOOL'S!"

Dad did the face palm of the century. One kid loved the salty toast and asked for seconds.

10.) From LivingInTheVoid:

I have a key to the vending machine at work. I've been wanting to buy a bunch of bananas and replace all the chips and candy with them.

11.) From HotTamalesYum:

I'm a female kindergarten teacher. I wore a mustache all day long and pretended it wasn't there...even with the parents. Everyone got a kick out of it except for one student who cried because I "looked scary."

12.) From dragonsfrompluto:

I had a high school teacher who I had for two different history classes two years in a row. During the second year she told us how she liked our class because we never played pranks on her like some kids did at her previous schools. So we decided to play a prank on her.

We set a time and when the clock hit that time everyone in the class was supposed to just stand up and walk out of the room. When the clock struck the designated time we all stood up and our teacher started screaming "oh no!" and cowered against the wall with her hands over her head while we all kind of just slowly continued with the plan of walking out of the room. We had originally planned to stay outside for awhile but we felt bad for her reaction so we went back in early.

She said for some reason when we all got up she thought we were all going to beat her up. I still have no idea where she got that idea because we weren't at a high school where that kind of thing would happen...

TL;DR Pranked a teacher by having everyone leave class at the same time, she thought we were going to beat her up.

13.) From pwlocke13:

In 4th grade our teacher gave us a fake test that had random question 4th graders wouldn't normally know. Like who our senator was, the capital of random countries and what not. After the test she explained it was April fools, then went on to tell us what all the answers were. Not a big deal.

In response we got a kid to come running into class after lunch and say another kid was having seizures in the bathroom. So she gets up and runs to the bathroom all panicked. The kid who told her went deathly white and was like "I didn't think she'd buy it...." She was really cool about it, chuckled a bit and explained why that probably wasn't the best prank to do.

14.) From windy496:

One April 1st I got up before my wife. I went to the kitchen to get some water. I opened the curtains to see that our neighbour's house, across the lane, was on fire. I ran to the bedroom and told my wife. She opened one eye and said, "Sure, sure. Ha ha." She got up seconds later when she could hear the fire trucks. Every April 1st, as a joke, I tell her the same thing.

15.) From randomfactgirl:

It wasn't mine, but it was my mother's. I was six years old and one day she gave my daily cereal, which was cheerios, in milk. But today it was different. The milk was a teal blue, and luckily my six year old self seemed to notice. I asked "Mommy what's wrong with the milk?" She said "oh nothing a blue cow just made it". And I was more excited than terrified and ate it all up. I told all the kids at school I ate a blue cows milk and they were all jealous as fuuuuuck. it wasn't until later I realized it was dyed, and I felt like a fraud for telling all my friends I ate a blue cow : /

16.) From just_talkin24:

When my husband was sleeping on April Fool's Eve, I drew a dick and balls on his chest with tanning lotion. The evolution of his reaction was fantastic. First, his realization in the shower the next morning that it wasn't washing off. "Wha...wha... why isn't it washing off?!?" Then, for about three days, he'd forget about it until he'd come home from work and take his shirt off and I'd hear "God damnit!" from the other room.

17.) From shockingnews213:

Classic Prank: Saran Wrap your own toilet seat because I have no friends to do this on.

18.) From Kyle1337:

Buy someone a smoothie but put the end of their straw in a mustard packet

19.) From rugdivot:

Back in the 80s we filled our university dorm RA's room with popcorn about 3-4 feet deep. We then left his cherished popcorn maker plugged in on top of the pile. good times.

http://i.imgur.com/IRMFR2x.png

http://i.imgur.com/CKA4WSW.png

20.) From RugbyTime:

I replaced a picture of one of my friend's family members with a black and white picture of Boris Johnson.

21.) From 081301:

Cover the top of the ceiling fan with glitter

22.) From Charliegirl03:

I used to work in the office of a small furniture store. We had a woman who shopped with us for the better part of a year. She was basically furnishing her whole house, room by room, bit by bit. All of the employees knew her by name, and we all hated her.

She was incredibly picky & indecisive. Every single item had to be special ordered. Despite knowing full well that special orders took 4-6 weeks to arrive at the store, she would call the day after the order was placed - and every single day thereafter - to check the status. She lived a couple hours away in the country, but insisted that the salesman, Dan, accompany the delivery men on every delivery.

Dan had helped her with her first purchase, and she would only work with him from thereon out. Needless to say, he got sick of her. Started dodging her calls as often as possible, leaving us to deal with her (which she was not happy about). It was a daily pain in the ass.

Finally one day, she called while he was in the office & we forced him to take the call. She had a bunk bed for her kids on special order, and was just now calling to check the weight limit (she had a very heavy child). He said he'd call the manufacturer to check and put her on hold. He just dicked around for a minute then picked the phone up and gave her a made up number. We warned him that this was not a good idea, but he didn't care.

The bunk bed ended up being her final order. Thankfully, it wrapped up in the beginning of the year, which was perfect timing for the April fool's joke: Jane (the customer) was going to 'sue' Dan and have him served April 1st. Why? The bunk bed broke under the weight of her son, causing him bodily harm. Upon calling the manufacturer herself, she discovered that Dan had quoted her a much higher weight limit. I filled my boss in on the plan. My husband helped me make some very official looking documents. We were still using paper records then, so I made sure to pull & hide all invoices & order forms of hers with the exception of the bunk bed invoice - I copied it & altered the phone number so she couldn't be involved (not that Dan would voluntarily call her anyway).

A friend of ours came in on the 1st, pretending to shop for furniture, and then BAM, you've been served. He pulled it off perfectly. It was pretty believable, given how crazy Jane was and the fact that Dan had blatantly lied. He fell for it hook, line, and sinker.

My only regret is letting it go on as long as I did. He was really freaking out about it and absolutely believed it. When he took a break to call his wife about it, I ran outside to let him in on the joke. Right circumstances & timing played a large part in this being successful, but still the best April fool's joke I've ever pulled off.

TL;DR: After a coworker lied to a customer about product specs, I convinced him he was being sued for bodily harm due to his negligence.

23.) From SuburbanCrackAttack:

In college, I got a call from some woman on the way to class asking "Is the monkey still available?" I was caught off guard, said she must have the wrong number, and hung up.

Five minutes later I got another call from someone else: "Hey dude, how much you asking for the chimp?" Uhh, I don't know what you're talking about. Hung up.

At this point I knew something was weird. The first call could have been brushed off as a wrong number or a shitty phone prank, but two calls in a row about some monkey? I didn't recognize any of the numbers or voices so I didn't know what was going on.

Less than a minute later my phone rang again, and some person out of breath asked, "Hope I'm not too late for the monkey. Whats the top offer so far? I can beat it!"

"Okay what the hell are you talking about?"

"The craigslist ad for your monkey. You said you were getting rid of your monkey for free or best offer!"

I made sure they were calling the right number and then politely explained that there must be some mistake. I checked craigslist and sure enough, there's an ad for a free monkey with my phone number. I got over one hundred calls that day. Then I realized that it was April 1st. One of my friends finally confessed to putting up the ad.

I gotta say, pretty good prank. But I can't help but feel I wasn't the only one that was pranked. After all, who the hell believes that someone is going to give a monkey away for free? And then get super excited and super ddisappointed when its not true? Hell, some callers even got pissed and theeatened me. What the hell were they gonna dov with a monkey? Its illegal to own one here. And how would you take care of it? All in all, good prank.

24.) From MsSusieDerkins:

probably falls under the "only funny if you were there," category, but during my sophomore year of college, i called my mom while she was at work and really casually asked her if she'd heard anything from my college. "something about academic probation?" i asked. she was at work and couldn't leave, and but also couldn't yell at me. she was hissing at me through her teeth, getting angrier and angrier, and i just kept brushing her off like it wasn't a big deal. "i dont know, i guess i missed a bunch of classes and i guess that counts against me, or something." she was FURIOUS (my parents were helping me pay for college with the idea that if i let my grades slip that would stop), and my super-casual tone was just making her more mad. i let it go on for a few minutes before i stopped her and said "MOM. look at your calendar!" she called me an asshole and immediately slammed down the phone. i still think it's funny.

25.) From no_anesthesia_please:

The wife and kids got me good with this one.

We built our house near - like about a mile away - from a RR track. My girls gave me lots of shit about complaining that the tracks were so close. We loved the land and built a great home.

Flash forward 3 years. On April 1st I get a call from my wife while I'm at work. She's out of breath, and haltingly telling me that she has to evacuate in 10 minutes due to a Fucking Train Derailment that released toxic gas. My daughters are playing their part by wimpering things in the background like, "But why can't I take my rocking chair", etc. all the while a siren is clearly audible in the background as well.

Needless to say that I'm freaking out. I've noticed my voice - as I'm shouting instructions to my wife about what important shit to take with them - has drawn a bit of a crowd in my office doorway. Couple that with the baby talking I was using when my daughters got on the phone to calm them down. My stress levels are at critical mass, and I'm bolting out the door yelling at my secretary to "monitor the accident reports?!!" and keep me posted. The look she gave me when I said that shit to her should have cued me in, but I was hook, line and sinker caught up in this shit.

I got to my car, and the line went dead. PANIC Intensifies. Start car; phone rings - It was unbridled laughter. My closest neighbor, a deputy sheriff, his voice booming over the din of laughter yells - APRIL FOOL! Turns out he was running the siren in his patrol car. Best orchestration of a prank I've been on the losing end of.

TL;DR: Wife, kids, neighbors and a sheriff's deputy were party to making me believe a train derailment and resulting gas leak prompted an evacuation from my house.

26.) From Andromeda321:

I went to college at a very tech school which meant it was something like 75% guys during undergrad- such a huge gender disparity that it was said on the official college tour. I knew this because I had a friend who was a tour guide and he made the mistake of telling us once where that point was in casual conversation.

Anyway, one day we planted my girl friend who is rather tiny (and didn't know tour guide friend) in a tour group. She was quiet and not noticeable during the tour, but when tour guide friend got to the gender disparity point of the tour gave a signal. At that point several of my guy friends swooped into the group, picked her up, and ran off with her shouting "we've got one, we've got one!!!"

I always wonder what percentage of that tour group ended up applying to our school after that!

27.) From N8theGr8:

Here's one my 5 year old daughter pulled on me:

For a few days leading up to the 1st, she was talking about how her and mommy were going to bake me brownies. Totally hyped it up.

I should have seen it coming, but on April Fool's Day, she brings me a plate with a bunch of brown construction paper cut out letter E's.

She made me brown E's.

March 2020 was one of the most eventful years in recent memory.

With shelter-in-place orders spreading across the world to stop the spread of coronavirus, the pandemic has become harder and harder to ignore.

People are expressing just how taxing the past month was with some solid comparisons.

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Sure, we're all trapped inside with no end in sight, but that doesn't mean we can't still have fun...

Since we can't socialize in real life, people are more active on social media than ever before. Zoom meetings, online classes, virtual workouts, video chat happy hours, and Tiktok dance parties are the closest we can get to active social lives. Waving at someone through your window might be the biggest social event of our weekend. Some people are resorting to sending drones to flirt. With bars, restaurants, and event spaces closed to encourage social distancing and quarantine, people are venting on Twitter. Lucky for us, the tweets keep getting funnier.

When a popular meme started going around about what your "quarantine name" is usually involving the last thing you ate and how you're feeling, people immediately started roasting it.

Here are the funniest responses! Enjoy and stay safe, everyone.

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