When you're in the right state of mind, there are few activities more fun than getting into a playful argument. Whether it's about a petty grievance or a larger world view, a battle of wit and logic can be both stimulating and bonding.
However, some arguments are so dumb all potential fun is overshadowed by the other person's stubborn lack of logic. In these cases, even agreeing to disagree becomes impossible, and all you can do is smile and back away from the ideological time bomb sitting in front of you.
In a popular Reddit thread, people share the arguments they "lost" because the other person was too dumb (or stubborn) to understand basic logic, and it's a doozy.
1. From Boxman75:
Guy once told me he was speeding on his motorcycle one night in the freezing cold and was almost caught by a police helicopter with an infra red camera. He said he ditched the copter by taking his coat off and cooling his body down to ambient temperature so the infra red camera couldn't see him.
I ignored the fact that he'd be dead if his body temp dropped that much and simply asked why they couldn't pick up the heat from the engine. He said infra red cameras only pick up heat from organic sources. At this point I decided against even trying to argue against any of the ridiculous points he was trying to make and just noped right out of the conversation.
2. From BuckPucker420:
Why it's not cheaper to buy a new $1,200 phone on a 24 month payment plan than to fix a phone that's paid off with a broken screen. ($150).
3. From dead_OwO:
Girl tried to convince me that she would lose her virginity if used tampons. I literally had to teach her the anatomy of the vagina/uterus and she said that if you retract the poop while taking a shit, it's "self oral sex".
I just wanted to kill myself after that.
4. From daveyhh:
A guy I knew in high school insisted Hawaii was in the Gulf of Mexico because that's what it showed on the map. He even opened our textbook to show and then looked at me like I was an idiot. I just told him to educate everyone he could then.
5. From Kcups:
I did not get credit in a game of Trivial Pursuit for my guess of King Tutankhamun.. The "correct" answer was, yep you guessed it - King Tut. I was like 13 and we had just done an Egypt study in school. So, I was positive about being correct and pretty proud for knowing it.
6. From Thedemonspawn56:
Guy said that I could touch a black hole because they only targeted stars and planets...
I wanted to die, I was trying so hard not to laugh.
7. From MTAlphawolf:
In HS football, the night before a game, we would get together and set goals for the game. Defense set the goal of >200 total yards of offense allowed. I corrected the > to a < to make it "less than 200 yards". They disagreed adamantly and kept the greater than. I was tutoring 4 of them in math at the time. They also hit their goal, more than 200 yards given up.
8. From bread-in-captivity:
Was trying to ask my neighbours to shut their dogs up at night because we can't sleep. "But my dogs never bark." There they are, barking in the background. Smh and walk away.
9. From Back2Bach:
A guy argued that a "baby grand" piano was for little children during their earliest piano lessons, saying "that's why they're called baby grands."
I explained that the term "baby grand" simply refers to the smallest size of a grand piano, about 4'5" long.
He just insisted that baby grands were for little children, and that's why they're called "baby grands."
10. From Nyawk:
One of my college teachers gave us a test on computer hardware. One question was What is the most important part of any computer? It was multiple choice. CPU, memory, motherboard, PSU. I told him that the question made no sense. All of the parts are necessary, no one is most important. Without any one, the computer would not work.
He insisted that it was the CPU.
11. From Enemy_Within:
I’m a bartender. When I put a drink up to be run to a table in the restaurant the servers have to put a garnish on depending on the drink. I see new guy standing there staring at the lemons. Ask him what the deal is and he responds “these limes aren’t ripe yet...” Try to explain that’s not how that works and guy tells me I don’t have to be an a**hole. Suffice to say we’ve lowered our standards for servers lately.
12. From swanyMcswan:
A guy I used to work with believed that germs were a myth. He thought "bad air" is what made you sick. We worked in a meat department. Luckily he would wash his hands and keep stuff clean, but his logic was dirty things make bad air.
I tried so hard to convince him germs were real. To the point I would print off literature of various educational levels. From kindergarten to college level and he believed it was all a hoax.
It drove me up a wall.
He also believed the moon landing was fake. We got in heated arguments over it. To the point my boss put a ban on discussing the moon at all.
13. From ceramicsun:
I was trying to explain to my roommates that we can’t leave our front door unlocked 24/7 (especially when no one is in the apartment and when they’re out and I’m sleeping) and that they should replace the keys they lost. Plus we’re on a college campus where theft is pretty common and my room was broken into the previous year.
Them: “We live in on a college campus so we’re safe. What good is a locked door going to do if someone comes in with a gun? If something happens that’s just life.”
We went around in circles for 27 minutes. Worst argument ever.
14. From Priest_Of_Chaos:
Whenever I use words my mother never heard of and tells me to correct myself. I now have to actually get google definitions to show her I'm not speaking nonsense, cuz I used to always lose those because "She's the mom and older, therefore she knows more than me".
15. From danielottlebit:
I once was innocently commenting about something on the news about the pope... the (idiot) guy I was dating was like “eh!!! I don’t wan’t to hear about those stupid Christians!!! You can’t trust any of them!”
I’m like: ”um.. [name], you’re Lutheran, aren’t you?”
Him: “yeah, exactly... that’s why I try to avoid Christians and their rants”
20 minute convo as I TRIED to explain to him what a Christian was and that he was one... didn’t understand/believe... turned into a breakup convo for realizing how dumb he was hahaha.
16. From Beezo514:
When I was working waiting tables they changed scheduling systems and the times printed were in military time. My shift said I started at 10:50, so that is when I show up, 10:50 AM. At the end of my shift, my manager hands me a write up to sign for being late. I refuse because I was there at my scheduled time, 10:50 AM. He then tried to tell me I was supposed to be in at 10:30.
This is when I go and grab the paper schedule and point to where it says 10:50, clearly written. At this point I start to notice that all of the start times were either at the top of an hour (1:00, 13:00, etc) or at the hour and :50. When making the schedule, he thought that :50 in military time was a half hour and would not listen to me when I explained as clearly as I could that it was the hours that changed, not the minutes.
He still put that f*cking write up in my file. Stupid a*shole.
17. From Careless_Hellscape:
They kept insisting that they were entitled to their opinion over something that was a fact. For some reason telling her that her opinion didn't sway the truth just made her double down.
Situation: I mentioned that a certain YouTube personality was gay. I said it matter of factly, not to be mean. The guy has mentioned being gay on his channel several times. This girl got mad and girl kept denying he was into dudes. This was despite me pointing out that he openly identified as gay. She cited that it was 'her opinion' to validate the dude's sexuality on what her stupid ass wants to believe.
18. From FutureBlackmail:
I'll be finishing up my history degree in a few months. I really shouldn't be arguing my subject with people who've never had a reason to pick up a history book, but I was stuck with a buddy of mine for several hours a day for the better part of last year, and we got around to talking about pretty much everything.
At one point, for one reason or another, we got to talking about the Comanche Indians. I mentioned a common misconception, and he countered with a stereotype that he learned in grade school. We went back and forth for a while, and I tried to reference books on the topic, but his response was always to restate the same stereotype and say "I'm part Cherokee, so I know." Eventually, when he clearly had nothing left to say, he asked the most annoying question possible in that situation: "yeah, well were you there?"
How do you even respond to that? I definitely wasn't "there," but neither was anyone else alive today, and accepting that argument would pretty much void all study of history.
I pretty much gave up. He's not a dumb guy, but history is clearly not his field, and there was no way anything was gonna come of the argument.
19. From phase172:
Ex once argued with me that "a vegetable is not a plant."
20. From saurusmaximus:
I got into an argument with a guy who swore red cars were faster. His rationale was "because Ferraris are always painted red" (which is also not true). At first I thought he was just messing with me, but no, he really believed it and nothing I could say would change his mind.
I finally gave up on arguing with stupid and told him how right he was.