"Marriage is getting to have a sleepover with your best friend, every single night of the week."
- Christie Cook
Married life has plenty of highs and lows. If you're doing it right, there's always something (or someone) to laugh at. These memes perfectly nail all of the hilarious aspects of so-called wedded bliss.
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beOne thing that's keeping many of us going through quarantine is fantasizing about the future.Personally I can't wait to hug my friends, eat food at a restaurant, and then return to staying home and avoiding people on purpose. What's on the top of your post-isolation To Do list?!
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#FirstThingImGoingToDoWhenThisIsOver Get a tattoo pic.twitter.com/I6baNvYyB3
— Kate (@kbeb_) May 11, 2020
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I’m going to drop the kids off at their grandparents house! #FirstThingImGoingToDoWhenThisIsOverpic.twitter.com/zCkPwzvbeg
— Ryan Bartholomee (@RyanBartholomee) May 11, 2020
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"Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional."
– Bob Monkhouse
We're all aging every day, but that doesn't mean we have to stop being silly. These memes hilariously nail the struggle of growing up and getting old AF. We can't escape it, so we might as well laugh at it.
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When you're a kid, your parents basically own your life and they can set whatever rules they want. Sometimes, they go overboard with rules that are so ridiculous, it's almost funny.
A recent Reddit thread asked people to name the most absurd rules they had in their houses growing up. Thank goodness most people don't have to live in their parents' house forever!
No glassware, even though we had a bunch. My dad told me we'd drop it, it would break, we wouldn't clean it up, he'd cut his foot and die, and it would be our fault. As an adult I came back and took all the glasses after I asked him if he was scared about cutting his foot still. Problem solved. - DammitDanBlock
One of my chores was recycling. Once a week I'd have to sit down with all the recycling bins and separate all the plastic from the cardboard, and cut it all down so it would all fit equally. This took a few hours. One day, I watched the trash truck come by, pick up my neatly organized trash, and toss it in carelessly. I confronted my father about it and he told me it's what he wanted. This would be a point of contention until they finally switched to a big rolling bin you couldn't organize. - DammitDanBlock
Not my parents, but my grandparents. If they'd see you sitting and relaxing, they'd point out chores that you have to do instead. Eventually we'd just catch it when they were about to come inside the house and start cleaning just to look busy. - TortillasaurusRex
My parents are from Alabama. (I'm not; my dad was in the Navy so I grew up all over.) As such, they are rabid University of Alabama football fans.
When I was a kid and there was a televised game in our area, I was required to be in front of the TV, festooned in Alabama gear to cheer for the team. If I refused, I got grounded.
I wish I was making that up. - AmnesiaLab
I wasn't allowed to cross the street by myself until I was 17. - napping-is-a-sport
I couldn't have any friends over. My mom was scared they would steal random stuff. 10 years later and she still says my friends stole her pillow cases - Pannike
We had a formal living room with carpet. Mom would vacuum lines in it. You were not allowed to walk on the carpet because it would leave footprints. This was a hard rule that if you broke, you'd have to vacuum the room to put the lines back in. - flawedwithvice
You can't have a phone, even a flip phone, but we want to know where you are at all times, and it's your fault if you can't find a phone to let us know where you are every hour. - AdmiralWaffle3s
Wasn't allowed to watch the Smurfs when I was a child because it would "invite devil-spirits into our home". - sysadrift
No hanging anything on my walls. No posters, pictures, absolutely not allowed. I tried to compromise and put a poster on the side of my bookshelf and it didnt last one day until she threw it in the trash while I was at school. - DejectedNebula
Over the summer, my high school gave the option of reading two books and writing two 5 page reports on them. If you completed and passed you would automatically get an A on the English mid term.
Every summer my parents would "ground" me and my sister until the reports were finished. The only things we were allowed to do is go to our sporting events and finish the reports.
My parents weren't all that strict but this just seemed weird. I personally would have rather taken the 2 hour midterm instead. - mjl1957
In our house candles needed to be lit at least one time. This was my grandmothers rule and she claimed it was tacky and tasteless to have a candle with an unburned wick. I grew up and went to college believing this insanity. I would quietly judge others if I saw an unburned wick on a decorative candle. I’m better now. - theWildBore
We were only allowed to use the computer for 30 minutes a day even for homework, but could play as many video games on the play station and watch as much tv as we wanted. I don’t understand to this day. - anappleadaaay
No electronic devices or playing anything or reading any comics or novels during whole of the school year.
Am asian before you ask - jadedwolf1618
My house had a no Wendy’s rule. My parents had a negative experience before I was born eating at a overpass Wendy’s while road tripping in Wisconsin. Therefore no more Wendy’s ever. - TexanWolverine
I think it was because of how unhealthy it was but we still got Wendy’s and Burger King every week - u-got-spooked
My best friend in high school was not allowed to come home after midnight. Which meant if it was 11:45pm and we were 20 minutes away from her house she would have to scramble to find somewhere to stay for the night.
That or make absolute sure she was home before midnight, which is no fun when you're 17/18 years old. I think it was something about either not wanting to be woken up by her coming in or worrying that they would think someone was breaking in I honestly don't remember. All I remember is her sleeping on my floor a LOT. - httphaimish
Don’t use the good guest towels which were always hung in the bathroom. You had to go to the linen closet to grab an everyday towel. We never had guests over anyway. - TealTemptress
We couldn’t eat breakfast with our shoes on. - MilkyLikeCereal
If you're a hypochondriac like I am, you probably spend a lot of time online Googling things about your body and mind that you perceive as "symptoms" of an illness or disorder, only to find out from your doctor that you're perfectly healthy. But some people swing in the opposite direction, and downplay or completely overlook their symptoms, failing to realize that they have a legitimate health issue. Someone asked doctors/therapists of Reddit to share stories of the "abnormal habits/oddities" that patients mistakenly thought were "normal."
1.) From RRuruurrr:
I had a patient with a cut in his mouth casually say "you know when you're chewing on some glass and...". I had to stop him and ask for clarification. Apparently after he finished a bottle of beer he would just...bite into it? He said he liked the feeling of chewing on the glass. Nice guy tho.
E: To address a request for more context. I was a paramedic student doing a clinical rotation in the ER. Guy comes in complaining of bleeding "more than usual." I dunno if it was a pica thing, but he did admit to frequent and recent prior meth use.
2.) From CrazyCanTalkToCrazy:
Am the patient. All my life I thought I had really good hearing and could hear the electricity in the walls. Well I stated hearing and seeing other shit too and am apparently likely schizoaffective according to my psychiatrist.
3.) From JamesandtheGiantAss:
I always have had trouble breathing during exercise, but my mom said I was just lazy and called me "the family couch potato." I always had cough that would linger for months after a cold or flu, so in general I coughed all winter. My mom called it a "winter cough" and didn't worry about it.
My college roommate was worried about my cough and recommended I go to the doctor. I was like, oh no, it's just a winter cough! She was like, "that's...that is not a thing." Yeah turns out I have permanently damaged lungs from years of untreated asthma and pneumonia.
4.) From Liquid_Ph4ntom:
I can lock my jaw open in a weird dislocation type of way, it doesn't hurt or anything. During a cleaning at the dentist I locked it open so it would be easier for the both of us; my dentist had a total freak-out and pulled like 3 other people into the room to show them. I always thought everyone could do it but I guess not.
5.) From Real_Space_Captain:
I'm the patient, but I use to think we sucked at walking as a society. Seems like everyone was walking into each other and not paying attention.
Nope. Turns out I was loosing my peripheral vision and it was just me running into people like a jackass.
6.) From sdl1986:
Not a doctor but a nurse. Mother brought toddler in for distended belly. Asked several questions, including how toddler was eating, if she'd eaten anything different. She mentioned the toddler ate paper, string, hair, etc. often. Mom was truly surprised all toddlers don't do this. Thankfully there was no blockage and the distention was benign. Doctor referred mom to see their pediatrician for PICA.
7.) From NBSPNBSP:
Apparently, having constant upper back pain and muscle tightness is not normal. Before the pain got unbearable, I thought that my family was just predisposed to having back pain (My dad, grandmother, and various other relatives have similar issues). Then I saw a doctor and was told that apparently I had severely injured my back very early in life, which made my muscles spasm so hard that they could not loosen back up without medical intervention. I no longer have such bad upper back pain, and on the upside, my neck/shoulder muscles are swole as all hell now.
8.) From LifeApprentice:
His Intestinal obstruction was caused by worms. When asked after surgery if he’d seen any worms in his stool, he replied, “only the normal amount.”
9.) From horriblyefficient:
well I'm the patient here but my doctor was very surprised that I thought everyone takes 2 hours to get to sleep every night. I had assumed for years that my "asleep in half an hour" parents were the outliers...
10.) From Lilwertich:
Took me until sixteen to finally realize having a swollen and tangled vas deferens on my left testicle wasn't normal. It's called *varicocele* and it affects about 15% of males. It's caused by poor blood flow, and is only excess blood in the veins leading up to it. Luckily the only downsides are a bit of an ache and a 15% smaller left testy.
11.) From Manasseh92:
One time I was talking to a doctor during a routine check up. He asked about sleep disturbance and I said I was sleeping fine, though occasionally just as I was dozing off I would hear a loud bang or a scream or some other sudden noise that would wake me back up. He asked if I experienced any other sensory disturbances and I said sometimes I would smell words. Long story short it turns out a meningitis infection when I was a child left me with mild brain damage.
12.) From vickicass:
Patient here. I was very young when I had my first period. Single digits. They were ok till I hit ten and had 100+ days period. That was super heavy, like 4-6 pads an hour. Went to the gyno and was told it was normal for women to have this happen. 20 years later still getting the 100+ days periods I find out it’s PCOS with a dab of endo.
13.) From myung_l:
Not a doctor, but one of my classmate in college casually let this out in a discussion that she didn't get glasses for years as she thought everyone has blurry vision and it was normal.
14.) From Olliecatt:
I have "loose" shoulders, I can pop them in and out of their sockets with no effort- sometimes it's more effort to keep them popped in. I found out this wasnt normal in my high school health class when we were learning the dangers of drinking and using "drunk goggles" to simulate how alcohol affects your vision. We all got handcuffed after and I was able to slip my arms in front of me with no issue.
15.) From ih8jimmypage:
I didn’t know people just fell asleep, it’s always been a struggle for me, like it takes me 3+ hours to sleep even with sleep aids, I wake up 5+ times a night, every night, and then struggle to sleep again. Told my psychiatrist and turns out I have insomnia and restless leg syndrome. Was kinda surprised about the legs but I always move them and the sleep study I took showed almost constant leg movement.
16.) From coldsheep3:
I’m not a doctor or a therapist but I had a moment like this about my own life. I didn’t know I was allergic to Kiwis until I was about 17. I was having a conversation with someone and brought up the fact that kiwis make your throat close a little when you eat them and they looked at me like I was crazy. I had to ask a few more people before believing that I was actually allergic
17.) From sweetlyserious:
I was the patient in this. I have gotten stung an abnormally large amount of times from bees as kids. Every time the spot would swell up and double the size (ie if I got stung on my hand, my whole hand would double in size). It would be red and hurt for like a week and then become super itchy for another week (in total lasting about 2 weeks). I thought this was normal and what happened when everyone got stung. Even when I went to see an allergist and they told me I was allergic I still thought it was normal for bee stings to be like that. It wasn’t until my friend told me that when she gets stung it looks like a mosquito bite and goes away in 2 days that I realized my reactions are a little extreme.
18.) From FactoidFinder:
Apparently getting hives when you’re cold , and almost going into anaphylactic shock isn’t normal. Cold Urticaria in Canada is a fuckin bummer.
If you have this condition like I do join the subreddit, they can help you. Do research line I did to see if you have the severe or common type . Figure out who else in your family shows signs and symptoms. It’s hereditary in the common version but sometimes the severe one manifests itself .
19.) From plasticbooks:
I thought it was normal to be able for push my thumbs out of the sockets. Might not be correct wording but thats the gist of it.
20.) From queen_of_narwhals:
A girl I worked with once told no less than 8 people that she "likes the burning sensation" she got after having sex with her boyfriend. Everyone instantly cringed
21.) From wolffy998:
Patient here, thought it was normal to smell numbers and have them appear as different colors.
Edit: its called Synesthesia. I am not 100% sure, but I think its abnormal neural crossings that mix some senses with others. I.e. sight and smell.
22.) From Deuce-dropper:
I have scores of those stories. Maybe thousands. Every day I wind up slowly shaking my head and gently saying, "nope, not normal." Most of the time it's silly, or boring, or common. There are loads of misconceptions. Most anti-vaxxers, I've found, have no idea how vaccines really work, much less basic understanding of human biology. This despite the fact that they think they are smarter than the entirety of the CDC and WHO, which is interesting. I digress.
My favorite that comes to mind was when I was counseling a young couple about their infertility. As it turned out, the man was masturbating several times a day, even at the woman's most fertile time of the month, and they were both adamant that they wanted to have a child. She was sullen and angry for the whole appointment, and said, "he wakes up like three times a night to jack off." He turned to her and said, "everybody does!" This was in addition to maybe five to nine times a day (his admission). I told him that he simply had to know that sperm are lost with every ejaculate, and can only be made at a certain rate, so his count per ejaculate was absolutely low. He was furious that I even suggest he avoid masturbating for a few days a month (I gave them a calendar) and have intercourse with his wife. He wanted her "tested, to see what's really wrong here." I advised that he give the masturbating a rest first. She left him less than a year later. When I heard that I smiled and remember thinking, "good for her. Sometimes you just got to try again."
23.) From jillybean7:
I didn’t realize it wasn’t normal for people’s muscles to give out on them. Like sometimes if I’m walking my legs will collapse on me. Turns out it’s called cataplexy and it’s a symptom of narcolepsy.
24.) From Slavaa:
I'm the patient but whatever it seems like that's what we're doing here anyway.
I always thought caffeine giving you energy/making it hard to sleep was a myth. I had heard the same about sugar and chocolate growing up (actually myths) and my mom had a lot of those old wives' tales (like carrots being good for your eyes) so I just figured it was one of those imperceptible effects where you needed like 10 coffees or a nutritional deficiency to notice. In fact, I found that drinking a can of coke before bed helped me sleep. A few of my cousins said similar things.
Eventually I met someone who would be up all night if she drank a strong tea after 6pm. Caffeine had a crazy effect on her. So I asked some of my other friends and a lot of them had similar experiences (though not quite to that extent).
Anyway it turns out most of my family (including me) has ADHD and caffeine just acts like mild Adderall.
25.) From thunder_y:
Didn’t know being tired a lot and having no energy while also feeling pretty much no joy, and having no goals, dreams, etc. wasn’t normal. Was for me like that most years in school and still now at university but I just recently found out I might be struggling with/from (not a native speaker and I never know which one is the correct one in this context so I’ll just use both) depression. I actually found out by accident: couldn’t sleep one night so I started watching YouTube and came across a video 10 sings of depression or something like that. Scored 10/10 and now I’m just waiting for corona to pass so I can go see a therapist. Edit: thanks for all the kind comments and useful advice I really appreciate it :)
Every profession has its insider information and knowledge that the general public doesn't know. Some of it might be mundane, like the face that bartenders and servers have to spend an hour or two at the end of each shift completing a list of sidework. But other tidbits are actually juicy.
A recent Reddit thread asked people to share the secrets of their job that might shock the general public. The answers are eye-opening.
The sheer magnitude of criminal cases that detectives have that will pretty much never even get looked at, much less investigated due to a massive lack of staffing. - Detective_IRL
All hotels have had bed bugs at one point or another. High end and low end hotels. What separates the good hotels from the bad ones are how they handle bed bugs once they are discovered. But if you ask the front desk if they have ever had bed bugs, they will typically lie and say no since most people don’t understand how bed bug infestations happen. - XenaJaneway
The amount of salt and fat in your food, especially at high quality restaurants. We kept a large hotel pan full of clarified butter behind the line, itd be empty by the end of the night. - MrGorgon
We don’t actually know how general anesthesia works at the molecular level. There are theories but nothing concrete. - linkin06
As a freelance ghostwriter, most of my clients are Russian or Middle Eastern men who publish five to ten ghostwritten romance or erotica books a week under female pen names. They spend 10k a month and double or triple that by flooding the market. At one point one client told me he had six of the top ten Regency Romance spots on the paid best seller list. - Thunder-Matts
Dummy thermostats are pretty common.
It basically works like a placebo where people feel more comfortable when they think they have control over the room temperature. It results in way fewer complaints. - SpicyHats
If you see twelve different sellers for an item on Amazon, in all likelihood the total number of sellers is probably three to four, all of whom have multiple names selling the same item at different prices. - maleorderbride
Most hospitals are actually crazy trusting about who they release dead bodies to when people die.
Often times I show up with just a gurney, and someone’s name scribbled on a post-it note, and they just let me walk out with somebody’s grandma without asking my name or getting ID or anything. - stevebobeeve
I am in IT
We don't always know WHY the fix worked and we don't care. - ITworksGuys
I’m a furniture upholsterer, and the amount of times other ‘professionals’ just recover the old fabric and filling drives me mental. If you’re paying for reupholstery, ask for progress photos. Nobody needs all that nasty old fabric hidden underneath and it’s not fair to the client as they don’t necessarily know any better (nor should they have to) - AliCracker
That most of those "3 people have booked this hotel today" or "4 people are looking at this product right now" pop-ups on travel agency website and ecommerce sites are lies. Totally static and made up. - jyt4167
I worked as a retail a manger in the past. A customer’s attitude and approach is about 99% of the reason someone would help them solve a problem.
Sale ended yesterday? Your return is past the date? You want a better price on a clearance item?
Be a normal kind person and you’ll usually get your way. If you start off being shitty or demanding then,
“Sorry, I can’t help you, it’s store policy.” - Nardelan
Your dog or cat is much more comfortable when you are there with them during euthanasia. It's really hard when people say, "It's too hard for me to be here with him." And leave the room for it. It is one of the hardest things ever, but they need you there with them. They look around for you sometimes.
That being said, if we do the euthanasia without you, we always have one staff member whose only job during the procedure is to cuddle and comfort your pet and tell them how much their owner loves them, and what a "good boy" they are. - leilunatic
The majority of regular broadcast radio shows are pre-recorded. If a DJ is broadcasting live (usually the morning shows), they still have no control over what music plays, it's all pre-programmed. They'll usually record phone requests and replay them during the voice break before the requested song is scheduled to play anyway, to make it seem like they're playing/taking requests. When the studio is empty, all phone lines are set to "busy", so no one calls and realizes there's no one there to answer. - Brookany40
If you ever hear your local morning radio guy interviewing someone that seems too famous to talk to a local radio guy, that's because that celebrity recorded an interview and their audio was sent to radio stations everywhere, then the local guy rerecords the questions. - notonrexmanningday
At the airlines, we generally have no idea where your bag is at any given time. It follows a chain of events to get to the right place. If it ends up missing, no one is "looking" for your bag. Your file gets loaded in a computer and when your bag is eventually scanned somewhere, a person is notified to grab it before it moves on to somewhere else.
This also means, if you jump to an earlier flight, there is a strong chance that your bag is going to fly on the original flight. The time is usually too little to go find it, retag it and get it to a new flight. If you jump to another airline and we have already retagged it/ handed it off to a different airline, it is done. We are not going to be able to retrieve it. It is flying on that flight. - LikeLemun
When temperamental artists ask us to adjust the sound and we pretend to twiddle knobs. - harpejjist
Advertisers can show you ads that are related to what your wife / husband / girlfriend etc. has been looking at online. If you have acknowledged your relationship (I.e marital status on facebook) and are often in the same location, advertisers assume you’re talking about getting a bike or planning a trip etc and will serve you ads even if you haven’t been the person looking them up. - min2themax
Going to the hospital by ambulance doesn’t mean you’ll see a doctor any quicker. - paramedic112012
Gallows humor is how many in 911 call centers and emergency services handle some of the shit we deal with. - WatchTheBoom
The sauna only gets cleaned out once a week. Twice of your lucky. Also the pools are never emptied for “cleaning” they have filters for that. Essentially a gigantic fish tank for humans. The chlorine sterilized any fecal mater or any form of bile that comes out of the human body. All we do is scoop the chunks and send y’all back in. - ArcticSun420
The recycling market is way down in the US because China had stopped accepting most of our recyclables. So, a lot of what you think you're recycling is just ending up in the landfill anyway. - flowabout
I am not a therapist myself but when I was job shadowing at a clinic, the therapists who were on lunch break would gossip about their patients and joke about how screwed up they are. I am certain that not all therapists do this but I wouldn't be surprised if this is a common thing. - jayellem45
"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.”
-E.E. Cummings
It's ok to waste your day at home on the couch eating snacks and binge-watching The Office for the 600th time in a row. However, it is never, under any circumstances, acceptable to waste a day without laughing at least once. These memes will help you get your chuckle on, even if you absolutely hate everything else in the world right now.
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When Twitter user Leo Senpai posted a video of two men who ditched social distancing to fight each other, people were immediately wondering...is that Jeff Goldblum? (Spoiler alert: it's not). But, why are they fighting? This isn't just your standard, everyday street fight either-this guy appears to have some serious skills. Are they rehearsing for their jobs as action stunt doubles?
Yes the guy who was shirtless deserved it. He started it. Before this he was yelling at glasses guy calling him every racial slur too, shirtless man threw the first swing as well. And literally anytime I’ve ever talked to him he always says disgusting things towards women.
— Leo Senpai 🔪 (@fallenleo) May 12, 2020
The reason this ass whooping was dished was because he joked about “oh I could just hog tie her up”
— Leo Senpai 🔪 (@fallenleo) May 12, 2020
The ease in which his glasses fall off and then he casually picks them up is A+. Jeff Goldblum's lookalike is ready for cat-caller combat. Of course, you should never resort to physical violence to deal with conflict (especially during a pandemic), but there is definitely a lot of unpack in this video...
We got angles too 😂😂pic.twitter.com/vZQx7wfjKL
— Leo Senpai 🔪 (@fallenleo) May 11, 2020
Gotta admit, when i saw homeboy square up with glasses on and pinky and thumb extended I was not expecting much production out of him. I was wrong. pic.twitter.com/LRj30VNXoy
— Vinny Barbarino (@VinBarbarino) May 12, 2020
Tall dude legit holding his pinky up like Bruce Lee I’m dyin pic.twitter.com/pfTchyjdqQ
— Mike P. Esq. 🍥 (@nWoYoungBoy) May 12, 2020
NEVER fight the dude that is ready and willing to square up in nice clothes. That flabby shirtless but had no chance.
— IOnlyTweetWhenImDrunk (@TyrantRex12) May 12, 2020
Lol dude was feeling where he wanted to kick lol pic.twitter.com/2igX2bnIs9
— Mike W (@MoneyManMike19) May 12, 2020
YO ya gotta listen closely to the dudes “UGHHHHH” after the kick pic.twitter.com/WRKHaLHwTt
— 🍜Ramen Head Vine🍜 (@Devinethegoat) May 12, 2020
Wedding photographers have front row seats to the happiest days of peoples' lives. Through their lenses, they capture the love, the tears, and the dead bodies washing up on the shore (yup, check out #11)!
Wedding photographers took to Reddit to share the cringeist, grossest, most awkward moments they captured, and both the cameras and the drunk aunts are doing a lot of flashing.
After 10 years of wedding photography- The moment before the ceremony where the groom sneezed a bloody nose onto the front of the bride’s beaded dress. Apparently he gets bloody noses when he gets nervous. Stopped all photos and got emergency Sprite soda cleaning done in the hotel/ceremony location. Was asked to delete all photos and keep the situation from the mother of the bride. Bride was surprisingly understanding! 2 hours of pre-ceremony photos cut short, but the blood was removed quick enough to not be noticeable for the ceremony. After review I had a perfect - mid-sneeze shot with blood flying outta the groom’s face. Sad to see that one edited. -Motogirlmx
During the portrait time with the bride and the groom, the bride reached her arms up to hug the groom, who was significantly taller. She was wearing a strapless dress. The dress stayed put, and the rest of her made a surprise appearance. I did not deliver those images. -Floralmuckboots
There has been several times where I'm on my knee, getting shots of the little flower girl / ring bearer child coming up the aisle, and one or more women will be sitting in full view with their knees apart... while wearing a short skirt. Welp, that's getting cropped! -Sapphicatalyst
There was this aunt of the bride or groom (not sure which) who wore a dress that I’m pretty sure was actually meant to be a long blouse. She got plastered at the reception and was dancing in the middle of a circle of people so I peered in between two people and snapped some photos of her. Didn’t realize until I’d gotten home and pulled them up on my computer that her “dress” was bouncing up when she jumped and exposing her wrinkly crotch.
This was a wedding that I shot for an event company, so the way that works is that I just turn over the raw files to the company and an editor edits them and delivers the album to the client.
I forgot to give them a heads up about the wrinkly crotch but you’d think they would notice.
Nope.
I wound up seeing the couple’s final album in the system after it had already been emailed to them, and low and behold Aunty Wrinkled Vag is in there.. and out there. -plopploptoot
A bride so dosed on tranquilizers that it was almost impossible to get a smile out of her.
Their album just looks like a happy husband and indifferent bride. She was completely emotionless. No happiness, no elation, no joy, no smile.
Just a bad case of mild resting bitch face. -BloodSteyn
A groom who showed up completely stoned. I'm talking couldn't stand up properly kinda stoned. And this was 3 minutes before the ceremony.
Their pastor refused to marry them. -EttVenter
Wedding on the beach, the bride and groom are about to walk up the wooden stairs to the parking lot and the bride asks her new husband to help her with the train of her dress. He scowls at her and says “I ain’t your slave.” And proceeds to walk up the stairs without her.
I hope she left him. -lucycat7
Caught the best man starring at the brides chest. -Woodie626
My friend is one and told a story about how this one bride that would flirt with everyone. I mean some people are like that and it is their nature. But she also flashed the camera ,both top and bottom. Then made out with a few guests. Apparently the groom just sat with best man until he had to interact with the bride. Overall just a shit show of a wedding. -dm_me_your_upskirts
Capturing the moment as the Groom's mother (who yes hated the bride) sneezed big wet, gooey snot etc. into the Bride's hair minutes before she was to walk down the aisle. -ladykevinbacon
Shooting a wedding on a beach, had a drowned body wash up on the beach about 50ft away. -epandrsn
I was filming a wedding ceremony for some friends this summer. The bride's stepfather was sitting in the front row. She had already warned me that he could be trouble, so I made a note of where he sat down before the ceremony started.
He sat down in the front row and promptly fell asleep. For the whole 20 minutes ceremony he slept. I was so angry on the bride's behalf, who sits on the front row and then can't stay awake for the few minutes the ceremony lasted?
I managed to avoid him in the final edit, thank god. -mytevesen
One of my dear friends does a lot of weddings for the 20-something gentrification set. The bride and groom wanted to take a few shots near an abandoned stockyard in their city- "love in a hopeless place" kinda thing maybe, I dunno.
Anyway, in the background of at least 10 of the shots, you can make out two economically-displaced gentlemen involved in some good ol' outdoor dick sucking. -tcinternet
A father-daughter dance in which their hatred for each other was palpable. It was painful and we felt weird including those in the album download.
Close second: giant paper Chinese lantern decorations catching fire. Indoors. In a wooden building. -thereluctantpoet
The wedding was on a pier. The couple and the planner kept checking the radar on their phones for rain to decide if they should do the wedding on the pier, or take it inside. I looked out on the pier and said to them, “I don’t know what your radar says, but those are rain clouds.” They make the call to do the ceremony on the pier anyway.
About 3 minutes into the ceremony, it starts to rain. Out of nowhere, a man appears with a heart shaped wicker box. I always ask the couple if there is anything different about the wedding I should be aware of. They never said anything to me about this, so I was caught off guard. Cool. Fine. I just keep shooting. He hands the box to the bride. She opens it up, and there are two doves in there. Ok. Pretty cool. I’ve heard of a dove release, but had never actually seen one. But, there doves were NOT feeling it. They just sat there and were like, yeah, no, fuck this, it’s the beach and it’s raining. Bride looks at bird handler. Back at the birds. Shakes the box. Nothing. He motions for her to scoot them out of the box. She reaches in there and they immediately flee the box. They both fly directly into her face. I shot in burst mode, and got a pretty wild sequence of shots . One of the birds gets caught in her weave, and she shakes her head while swatting at the bird to free it.
Then the bottom falls out. Pouring rain and heavy winds. The officiant continues like nothing is happening. Zero sense of urgency. People are just getting up and heading inside. One of the family members gets up in the middle of the aisle, and starts screaming and chanting. “JUST SAY I DO! KISS!” They do, and it starts raining even harder. I backpedal down the pier as they run through the rain. The shots of them running through the rain are actually pretty beautiful.
The whole wedding was a complete mess. They ended up telling me that I was the only thing that went right on their wedding day, and that looking at my pictures made them happy, and that the pictures made the awful day look beautiful. -TouchToLose
Maybe not the worst, but the saddest. My wife shot a wedding for a bride and her father died later that night in his sleep of a heart attack. My wife made sure to give them all the nights photos, over 1500 photos, and edited them all for her. Usually she only gives 350 to 450 photos for a wedding package. Anyways, really sad situation. Those photos meant the world to the bride and she's been a return customer for years now. Super sad for the bride though. -praisingthejoesmithy
I borrowed a colleagues car to drive down to England the week before my wedding. On the road back I hit a sheep at 70 mph and took the front left hand wing off the car. The opening minute of my wedding video was him walking into the churchyard shouting 'my fucking car, what have you done to my f*cking car.'
He also had a photocopy of my insurance claim. I drew a picture of a square (the car), with an arrow pointing to the front left hand corner with the word sheep written across it. He handed copies of these out to people at his table. -Markovitch12
The groom snuck a kiss to someone that was not the bride and full mouth-to-mouth contact. Literally screamed when I saw it, deleted in a panic, and told myself maybe hopefully it was only drunk shenanigans...This was maybe 4-5 years ago...last I heard through the grapevine, she's pregnant now with their first kid, so...idk. -ameliapondlives
In theory, Facebook is a place for friends and family to connect, share exciting updates about their lives, and discuss articles and issues near and dear to their heart.
However, anyone who has spent more than an hour at a time on Facebook is deeply aware of how quickly the website spirals out into a hotbed of trolling from long lost acquaintances, unhinged subtweets directed at no one in particular, and family drama leaked onto the web.
While it can be entertaining to fall down the rabbit hole of Facebook drama, it's definitely not healthy to be the one providing it online, and Facebook walls are certainly not constructive places to work out family tension. Still, in a moment of passion, the temptation to post looms, and many of us succumb to it from time to time.
AITA for trashing my son and his wife on FB?
My son is 23 and got married two years ago. He and his wife are head over heels in love and her parents adore him. We invited them over for a Mother's Day dinner as we haven't seen much of them lately. They said they would love to and plans were made. Then they canceled at the last minute saying they had to work. They sent flowers to my wife on Mother's Day. We were both kind of sad though.
I went to his FB page today and noticed he didn't post anything. He usually posts a lot. So I went to my DIL's FB page and saw that this bastard and her didn't work last night - they were having dinner with HER parents. Her parents left comments like "you are the son we never had." There was no reason to lie. It would have upset us less if he had been honest and said he needed to do this Mother's Day with the in-laws. We would get it. My wife found out and was in tears.
I went on his FB page and told him he was a selfish a*shole for lying after we did so much for them like helping them pay for the wedding and other bills. Then I went on my DIL's page and told her that I was sorry that she thinks she's too good for us but not too good to ask us for money when they didn't have it.
Now I know why he didn't post anything on his FB because he didn't want us to find out. It was on their pages for awhile and last I check, it has about 13 comments asking what was going on. They deleted the comments and I have heard nothing from them. I'm thinking about SHAMING them again.
EDIT: I had a talk with my son. He called me and I told him that I was going to speak first. I told him that apparently he feels he's too good for us except when he needs money. He wants to post all these pictures of him doing all these fun things with his new family then they should adopt him.
Then I hung up.
Then I posted this link on his FB page:
ESH- they shouldn't have lied but you are a WAY bigger AH then they were. Seriously? shamming them on FB? Grow the F up and act like an adult.
YTA ffs if you have an issue with your son talk to his directly. Don't stalk his wife's Facebook and then leave abusive comments like you're an internet troll. Maybe we've cracked the code on why they wanted to have dinner with her parents instead.
YTA don't air your dirty laundry in the street. If you were determined to say something, you shouldn't have done it publicly. If you keep doing this, you'll just push them further away.
ESH - your son should have been honest with you, that’s true. You, being the parent, should have approached him privately about this instead of lashing out in anger on a public forum. It serves no purpose except to embarrass him publicly.
You certainly had no right to go after his wife as well the way you did. Talking to one person should have been sufficient. Don’t you think she wanted to see her family for Mother’s Day too? Plans change all the time - they may have found that they weren’t needed at work after all, or that they made a mistake about their hours.
Finally, I think you need to take a long hard look at yourself and the way you have raised your son, because he clearly didn’t feel that they could be honest here. Maybe because of the way you reacted?
YTA. There’s a reason they didn’t want to spend time with you and I’m sure it has a lot to do with the way you’ve behaved in the past. Public shaming only makes you look bad.
I’m going to go with YTA. You decided to publicly insult your son and DIL instead of acting like an adult and messaging them privately. You assumed they were slighting you instead of really learning the context. Like come on, this could just all be a stupid misunderstanding, but the sort of things you’ve said to them could seriously damage your relationship with them.
While it feels sufficiently obvious that OP was in the wrong here, the biggest question left at hand is how OP was able to justify his actions with no ounce of self-awareness.
The early and mid 2000s were a prime time for hidden camera shows. We had Ashton Kutcher trolling fellow celebrities with shenanigans on "Punkd," James Murray tricking the public with silly schemes on "Impractical Jokers," and of course the iconic omnipresence of "Candid Camera" - and all the surprised guests it featured.
While most of us know that reality television isn't true reality - there's always a bit of preparation or scripting, it's fascinating finding out where the lines are drawn on each show. Since no two reality shows function the same, the only people who really know what's real and fake are those who've been on set.
Luckily, we don't have to cameo on "Impractical Jokers" or "Divorce Court" to get the juice on what goes down behind-the scenes.
1. From letterstosnapdrago:
Was picked as a random participant for some MTV show that was filming in my neighborhood. They said it was a game show.
They had me fill out paperwork and made me change my shirt because it had writing on it even though it wasn’t for a product or anything. They gave me a plain black T-shirt. I waited around with other participants for a while, like about 45 minutes. A few people left.
Finally they came over and directed me to walk over to a specific area down the street. I noticed a big residential style trash can with wheels (we have more standard Oscar the grouch types here). It seemed out of place and so as I walked I was kinda looking at it.
Then a guy popped out of the trash can to scare me. I didn’t even react. I just kinda looked at him curiously. At that point a bunch of people came out and someone called cut. The director seemed to be really pissed that I didn’t react well enough. They took me aside, gave me $20 and sent me on my way.
A friend of mine was on cash cab. The whole thing was fake.
They told him he’d be on a reality tv show about food with a hidden camera, but didn’t say which one. Got him to sign a bunch of forms and stuff a week in advance and had him stand at a specific place at a specific time.
There were tv producers standing around and obvious camera crews waiting. Nobody walking by would possibly think it’s a regular cab.
Edit: another friend of mine was on the price is right. The audience members are not randomly selected as they say publicly, they’re screened for TV appeal on the way in.
Well, I kinda accidentally ruined one.
I was walking through a mall when a staff door to my right flies open and this guy is yelling "So who's ready to win 1,000 euro in -" but before he can finish, he SLAMS into me. Neither of us saw each other coming: the camera guy had gone to the left, and this host man has turned himself around to look at the family of five he was leading through the doors. He got right back up and glared at me, the family meanwhile looking pretty worried.
I doubt that made the final cut, but at least I was on camera!
My wife and I applied for and were accepted to do House Hunters but turned it down because it required us to take a week off work to film. Biggest requirement is that you have access to both the place you bought and the place you're moving out of at the same time for filming. So obviously everyone on it already bought their house and are just shown two other random houses by their realtor.
A late night show tried to prank my brother one time. He was a PA at the time out getting coffee for crew members. While he was in the coffee shop, they put a fake boot on his company van and said he was parked illegally. He said the guy who approached him was too obvious though, and my brother didn't buy the act at all. He ended up just taking the fake boot off his wheel, handing it back to the guy, and just driving away. Ain't nobody got time for that.
I was on "Mystery Diners" one time.
It was supposed to be a hidden camera show about the boss of a restaurant hiring undercover detectives to expose bad business operations.
The entirety of the show was fake. The TV show paid the owner of the company to do the show there, the "hidden" cameras in each corner of the restaurant were massive globes bigger then my head with thick cables running to them, we had to train fake employees, even the customers for the entire day were fake.
I was supposed to be the good employee, I was told to greet a table like I normally would, and act surprised when the customer asked me about a promotion I never heard about.
My brothers best friend's family was on Extreme home makeover. They filmed "surprise you're gonna be on TV" scene and the move that bus scene like a crap ton of times till they got the perfect reaction. My dad helped work on the house and he said the camera crew and the hosts were douchebags who were in the way more than anything, they didn't help, and if they tried they screwed stuff up.
I was never found on hidden TV, but a coworker was caught on to catch a predator, in Florida trying to hook up with a supposed 13 to 15 year old female. We live and work in Arizona. He served time, was fired and when his probation was up came back to AZ to beg for his job back. My employer turned him away. I can't imagine showing my face in a place I worked, after such a thing.
Was in Vegas with my wife when we ran into Chris Angel and his crew. Before he really became popular. They asked if we wanted to be on the show. We said sure. We had to wait while they filmed another couple. It was a spider appearing from nowhere deal. We watched as Chris distracted the couple as his producer produced the spider from a bag and slipped it in. We turned around and left.
I wasn't actually on the show but I was at Mountain Creek when Impractical Jokers were filming. Most people just kind of ignored that they were filming but it was extremely obvious as they had set up cameras all over the place all over the walls, as well as having cameramen around following James Murray.
Although they also had people around "encouraging" people that recognized them to put their phones away. It seemed pretty legitimate though because they were trying to get at people who didn't know them.
Edit: https://imgur.com/a/CFLfVxl picture I took of Q from that day, it was also in 2014 when they weren’t as famous as they are now
Was at a resort where they were filming the Bachelor in Paradise and was eating breakfast at the same place a couple was about to be filmed. I watched them look at their scripts and go over their lines. It was faker than I thought it was.
EDIT: Did not think this would blow us as much as it did.
I was in Puerto Vallarta in Mexico which is where they film it.
I go to Puerto Vallarta annually and I remembered meeting a guy on my resort that worked for the show as a technician, he was going to spend 6+ weeks all expenses paid on the resort which is pretty sweet.
I don't know who the couple is.
Lastly, I knew the reality TV was fake but I didn't think there would be scripts, that's like movie fake.
Here’s my sh*tty anecdote about how I could be on some guy’s internet prank show.
I was working at a convention, taking a break when I hear someone play fart sounds from their phone. I look around to see where the sounds are coming from and raise my eyebrow at a guy standing nearby. He keeps making the sounds and I occasionally glance over.
After a while he walks up to me and tells me that he does a prank show on YouTube and asks for a video release to use footage he shot of me reacting to his fart sounds. I give him permission. I was unable to find the show online when I got home, because I forgot his name, so I’m not sure if I ended up on it or not.
My memory on the details is a little fuzzy, but in 2008 I was in Montreal at a park and Just For Laughs Gags was there setting up. I never found the footage again but they set up a bench next to the large pond/lake whatever it was and when someone sat there a bicycle towing a baby carrier would ride by and the carrier would detach and roll into the large pond/small lake, with the rider continuing along like nothing happened.
We saw them set up the area and do some test runs with the bike, the cameras were disguised as a fake water drinking fountain and a fake do not touch electric box. Once they were ready to go the crew made themselves super scarce. Unfortunately we didn't stay long enough to see more than one person get pranked by it.
Set up and testing took *a while* and then nothing happened for a another while, seemed to be waiting for the people in the area to change to people who hadn't seen them set up. We didn't see any aftermath other than someone jumping out to point at the cameras, but talking to people who had seen them do stunts before said they have everyone they trick sign a waiver to allow them to use the footage on the show.
Also fun fact, one of the reasons there is never audio of anyone speaking is because it's a mix of French and English depending on which the person they are fooling speaks.
Edit: There was probably more than two cameras, but we were sitting close to the ones I remember. We saw them roll in the fake objects on dollys, hook in and test the cameras and lock the side panels closed.
Edit 2: TIL the no audio isn’t because of the two languages mixing, it’s because it makes it viewable to anyone regardless of their language. But it conveniently means no subtitles for the mix of French and English that does happen while filming.
Being pranked on a hidden camera show is the strangest feeling - like being dosed on acid without your knowledge and all of a sudden sh*t is going sideways and you wonder if you're legitimately crazy for a moment. It just feel eerie. And my prank wasn't even crazy!
My story: I was broke af and really stoked to be getting a week long gig helping out at a hotel. Turns out I was actually being pranked by a show called Girls Behaving Badly. I show up to work and found out i'd be handing out towels at the pool area. The girl training me seemed normal enough but then she kept "calling dibs" on every dude that would walk by. She asked me why i wasn't calling dibs on anyone. I was just kinda like wtf??? *uhhhh, i dunno? Just here to work. *
Then this hugely obese guy arrived and she kept making jokes that I should call dibs on him. It felt weird. Then she left me alone. As soon as she left the dude started making obnoxious jokes and then things started to feel even more off. It feels like you're in an episode of the twilight zone. I started looking around suspiciously at my surroundings. Then the obese guy asks me to rub lotion all over his back. *Okay something's definitelyyyyy going on* I said no f*cking way.
Suddenly all the people "tanning themselves" by the pool bolt upright and start clapping and startle the sh*t out of me. I scream.
Without much further explanation producers come out and make me do 3 retakes of my reaction. I'm sorta in a stunned daze and go along with it.
Once my retakes are done producers hurriedly usher my still-weirded-out self into a hotel room and like 3 of them are in my face asking "how did you know??" "at what point did you figure it out??" while shoving release forms in my direction. I'm thinking "AM I GETTING PAID FOR THIS SH*T???" (Yes, I was paid one days work at the industry rate for being an "extra" which i think was $120 at the time.)
When I applied for the gig they asked me for 3 personal references - they called my roommate and asked her if I would be cool with getting pranked. She knows I'm easy-going and like an adventure so she said yes.
Yeah, I didn't mind getting pranked but the gig was advertised as being a week long -- so while today it's a fun story I just remember getting in my car and breaking down crying because it was the holidays and I really could have used a week's worth of work.
I never saw the episode to see if my skeptical a*s made the cut!
My roommate in college was on Divorce Court when he wasn’t ever actually married. His ex seen an ad on craigslist about getting help with your relationship and she had responded to it. The producers of the show told her to find someone to join her on the show that she has a history with, so she called my roommate and they flew them both from Chicago to LA for free.
They both were paid $500 for two hours of filming and only had to provide a story and pictures. About six months later the episode aired and we still watch it from time to time on Youtube.
Easily a top 3 college memory for even myself as I watched all unfold.
My grandmother was pranked on Just for Laughs in Montreal. She took my cousins to the zoo and there was a man disguised as a gorilla. She loved to tell the story but passed away shortly after and I don’t think ever saw the footage.
One day we had a small get together and had the TV on in the background, sure enough her episode came on. We all freaked out, mainly me. I still like to look back at the clip from time to time.
Edit: she also mentioned that it was not fake, complete genuine reaction.
I was in one of those "Real People" ads for Chevy. A web one around Comic Con, not a TV one.
Felt weird from the start, figured something was going on when they started talking about a lame superhero named "aluminum man," figured I'd play along for the cameras, revealed it was for Chevy.
I was also in a commercial for Paypal where my credit card was taken away in a retail location. Was cast, accidentally showed a sheet of paper on the day - of that listed out what was going to happen, went in and pretended I had no idea what was going on.
This really only applies to the Northeast. Was in one of my regular lunch restaurants while an episode of Phantom Gourmet was being filmed. This is not some big production TV show, and it's not meant to be dramatic. But I was sitting at the bar less than 10 feet from the 3 or 4 guys that were apart of the episode.
I've watched the show and they weren't faking anything. They legitimately ordered and ate the food they were reviewing, spoke to the owner, and asked the pair of ladies next to them their thoughts. I tried not to gawk or interrupt as I knew it would only get cut. It was cool to see that they weren't embellishing, or misrepresenting the establishment.
I was on one in Portugal, when I was a tourist there. Basically, an old guy pretending to be disabled and require my help, I helped him, then he pretended to be insane. Felt really bad for not being able to help him, then after a minute some lady walked up to me and told me it was for a hidden camera show.
I just felt bad and used, told her OK and walked away with my friend. Not fun in any way - unprofessional people.
EDIT: That being said, I f*cking loved visiting Portugal.
My cousin was a producer for Bar Rescue. Apparently it's generally real, no fake waitresses or anything, and all the skeezy stuff they catch actually happens. Like the employees all know there are cameras. And they still act like that. It's crazy. They would have the cameras up for two weeks - the first week everyone wore a lot of makeup and best behavior. After a week they forget about the camera and do their crazy shit you see on the show.
He did say that part of him and another guys' job was to rile Jon Taffert up. They would do multiple takes with him and egg him on until he was yelling. But other than the (super obvious) product placements they basically let Jon Taffert do whatever he wanted in the budget.
Also - the real bartenders HATED training people. These are people on the top of their game trying to teach rank amateurs. He said those were the hardest to film because the fancy bartenders were often terrible people, and the bartenders they we're teaching were often well-meaning idiots. Not a fun combo.
I was part of the filming of an episode of Impractical Jokers - the episode where they have the questions booth set up in Times Square. I had never seen the show, nor had anybody I was with at the time. I was in high school and visiting the city with a bunch of classmates and it seemed like something interesting, so I went up and asked the guy (who I later found out to be James Murray) a question. He gave me a half smile and then said something like “Alright okay then” and turned away from me. I was confused, but brushed it off and walked away.
About 3-4 years later, I couldn’t fall asleep so I turned on the TV and what happened to be on? Impractical Jokers (which I had never seen before). Not just any episode of Impractical Jokers - that exact episode of Impractical Jokers. It was completely surreal to figure out what was going on, I was almost in disbelief. I remembered there were cameras around, but it was Times Square so it didn’t seem out of place at the time and they seemed to be filming something unrelated anyway.
I didn’t sign a release or anything and they of course never aired my clip, but it was so cool to see it on TV especially not knowing at the time what was going on.
I still wonder to this day what the guys said to him in his earpiece that he wasn’t willing to say to me...
I remember I was at a college party for Thanksgiving; MTV was there filming. I had to sign a bunch of paper work.
Anyways, I was invited to this event by a friend. They never mentioned any filming or what the party was about. Soooo...I got a kids costume that was a full on Turkey costume not thinking much of it.
I go to the party...all the other girls are dressed slutty. Guys dressed in Togas and/or shirtless. I’m the only one in a normal costume and I wasn’t there to drink or dance. Just hang out I thought.
MTV found it hilarious and kept following me all night and kept egging me on to do things. I don’t know if it ever aired or not. Afterwards they gave me a piece of paper, and said they’d email me. I never got an email. Really unsure what happened.
Not quite a hidden camera show, but I was visiting Orange County Choppers in NY once when “American Choppers” started filming. I was in the background of the show when it aired. It was the episode where Jr. went back to the shop to pick up the black widow bike.
We were just looking at the bikes when Jr and Vinny walked through the door with camera crew following in front of and behind them. Jr. At the end Sr. stayed around and took pics and we had to sign agreements to be on TV. Pretty cool experience.
Back in high school (twenty years ago) Candid Camera came to town after our high school band created a bit of buzz by performing a Blues Brothers themed halftime show, complete with all the band members wearing black suits, ties, and sunglasses. We made local news when we partnered with a local Blues Bothers cover band, and they performed a couple songs with us during our homecoming halftime show. Even had the local police escort the performers on and off the football field via police car.
Candid Came a few weeks later, with the cover story of being a local news crew doing a piece on our show. They wanted footage of the band performing a piece of the show for additional B Reel for the story. So they trotted us out early in the morning (band rehearsals started a half hour before first period) and it just happened to be a very cold, very rainy day. In Mississippi.
Unseasonally cold. We were initially told we would be doing our part in the gym, but at the last minute, they changed their minds and we went to the field. None of us were wearing cold weather gear (the suits were very thin, we typically wore two or three pairs of thermal underwear).
Now we are outside. In the cold. In the rain. Not properly attired. We do our routine, and rejoice at the thought of going back inside to the heat.
Nope. The producer guy tells the director that we need to do it again. So we do it again.
The producer guy then requests we repeat the routine another time.
After the third time, the band mob begins to turn. We begin to grumble, as our fingers begin to freeze to our instruments, and we start to lose feeling in our toes.
Then the producer requests we do the routine another time, but this time he requests we increase the tempo. The grumbling turns to swearing.
After about another half dozen attempts to please this producer, who requests we increase the tempo each time, one of our bass drummers, who had Muscular Dystrophy, finally tripped. A couple nearby band mates helped him up, and off the field. The producer had the balls to request yet ANOTHER run through, with the tempo increased to ludacris speed.
Now. Something happens to you and a group of people when you spend the kind of time together and have gone through some of the crap we all went through together. To a man, no one reset for this fool. We all turned to head back to the band hall together. It was at this point that he realized he had lost us, and did the "Smile! You're on Candid Camera!" bit.
We never made it on TV. They couldn't edit the footage enough to cut through all the "F*ck You", "Eat Sh*t", and other random profanity. The Drum Major even dropped trousers and mooned the camera, and everyone was prepared with the single-finger-salute.
On one episode of Undercover Boss, they were at a tilted kilt, and I was there. I used to go there all the time, and this waitress who I had never seen before was walking around with the CEO (dressed to look like a server). She was teaching him how to be a server in a place that only has female servers. Tons of cameras following them around to catch different angles. It really felt staged. The waitress was clearly just an actress hired for this. I watched the clip and saw myself in it in the background.
Kids, much like adults, love them some screen time. And now with quarantine keeping them housebound and exhausting their parents, kids are logging in more screen time than ever. But not every parent thinks this is a bad thing. A mom named Tiffany Pitts shared a Twitter thread in defense of her teenage son spending all of his free time during quarantine online. It went viral and received a ton of positive responses from parents who agree that screentime, especially in times like these, can be a blessing in disguise.
And more happy tears were shed.
It's interesting how little pushback this mom got, given that a lot of parents have strong opinions about their kids' use of screens, internet and video games. But kids need connection and community, now more than ever. And if video games provide that? GAME ON.
Overhearing every move your neighbors make while being trapped inside during a global health crisis can turn any sane person into someone who constantly jokes about feeding their fellow tenants to Carole Baskin's tigers. Do your upstairs neighbors think that their walls are made of sound-proof cement-foam? Do they slam your ceiling every day with metal boots while managing a bowling alley/chainsaw factory for clinically loud opera singers?
Then, of course, we're all familiar with that one couple in the building who is constantly fighting, then making up, then screaming, and then practicing their postoned wedding's salsa dance all over your ceiling. Remember, if something is loud in your apartment, it's definitely going to be loud for everyone else. I've considered changing my WiFi password to "STFU," buying a noise canceling bodysuit, hacking into their speakers and playing back a recording of how loud they are--the options are endless. If you're an upstairs neighbor or a generally unaware person, please respect the people in your building! You could be stomping all over tired essential workers and your post-quarantine life will have some seriously bad karma coming for it...
“No daughter and mother ever live apart, no matter what the distance between them.”
― Christie Watson
Raising a daughter isn't all sugar, spice, and everything nice. Sometimes your little princess is going to drive you up the friggin' wall. Any mom raising a daughter will relate hard to these hilarious memes.
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In many South Asian, Orthodox Jewish, and Muslim cultures, marriages are arranged by the parents. It is the subject of curiosity to a lot of people in the United States and United Kingdom, who can't imagine trading the Tinder algorithm for parental involvement.
A curious Redditor asked people in arranged marriages, "was sex awkward initially? How did you break the ice?"
The answers were fascinating and moving. Especially the one from the guy who admitted that his wedding night "reads like an erotic story written by a 9th grader."
I met my husband three months before my wedding. We went on a few dates before the wedding. How was the wedding night? Pretty nice.
Since we'd both come directly from the wedding, we needed to shower. He took a shower first, then I did. It was about 2 am before we finally got started.
It wasn't awkward at all. A bit painful, but not really awkward. First orgasm came a few days later on a train in France for our honeymoon.
20 years later, we've got a house full of children to prove that the sex has been both enjoyable and plentiful.
My parents and aunt arranged a marriage for me and I traveled back to my country, met her once before the marriage. First night she was really shy and kept hiding under the blanket and pulling it away from me while giggling, nothing happened that night, then she got a call the next day from her mother and they kept talking for half an hour.
It happened then later that night when we were in bed innocently watching TV, then she looked at me and said maybe the first complete sentence: "I don't know what I'm supposed to do" in a nervous voice. So I laughed and played it funny, then started gently kissing, hugging, and joked a bit then two hours later we are doing it and now I've two kids from her and she turned 26 last month.
Arranged isn't as bad as it sounds, but back in my place it's normal to have arranged marriages and even marriages without seeing the bride. Mine was great considering there are parents who wait outside the room to hear the daughter orgasm to make sure she's virgin.
From a Muslim standpoint, I had an "arranged" marriage, but it really wasn't all that arranged. I met my wife through a family friend. We were introduced, our families were introduced, and we spent about a year getting to know each other. Both of us, at either point, could have decided we were not interested, but we fell very much in love and got married.
We discussed sex, contraception, etc. prior to getting married so it wasn't a foreign topic.
When we finally ended up having sex (day after our wedding night, we were way too exhausted that night), we took our time and went slow. It was very much enjoyable for both of us and we have sex nearly daily now (a year in). We were both virgins and had zero experience doing anything sexual with the opposite sex. Looking back now, I am really glad I got to experience all of that with her and only her. It makes it that much more special to me.
I had arranged marriage this past June. We talked over the phone 3 months beforehand as we were both in a different countries. I had read lot about sex for the first time which helped me prep up for the first night. This made it not awkward cause I knew how to make it comfortable for her. There was lot of foreplay so that made it less awkward. And she says that first night was the best sex she had of all times we had since then.
So I was in an arranged marriage only inasmuch as I met him on a blind date, but had full veto power over whether things felt right or off. We went out for a total of 9 dates which were roughly 2 hours each and spoke very little during our our 3 month long engagement. Our relationship was formal so as to not lead to sex or teasing before we were married.
The first time we had sex. I will not lie. It was awkward, but not nearly as awkward as I expected it to be. Our wedding night was spent holding hands and stroking fingers and we slowly progressed to hugging. I had no previous physical contact with men and no intimate touching before and even holding hands was intense. I was gasping for air just from the intensity of the whole thing. Eventually we progressed to sex. It was a little awkward at first but not as awkward as I expected it to be. This was my husband, and he was sweet, patient and cautious. He was concerned about hurting me. I reached out to hold his hands during intercourse. It made me feel closer to him. We were in this togethter. I treasure those first memories spent together and reminisce often. In summary it was a bit awkward although I am sure that losing my virginity to a high school crush at 16 would be miles more awkward.
Breaking the ice. Well that took a few weeks to fully happen. I did not feel comfortable undressing in front of my new spouse for probably a good 3 months. Gradually. Slowly. We warmed up. And there is not one part of the process I regret.
Culture: orthodox jew.
Throwaway because I'm a loser. Like a fool I opted for an arranged marriage on the rebound. The girl I was originally seeing was batsh*t crazy. But something strange happens when you get rejected, more so than the hurt...You become incapable of making good decisions.
Anyhow, was introduced to a girl. She had different interests, a different outlook on life and didn't take to kindly to my casual humor. So like an idiot I got engaged to her. Over the course of the engagement I was really busy with work so didn't see her at all. Then came the marriage. It was surreal. There I was sitting on stage with a girl I hardly knew getting married! Most of the fuckers at the wedding were my parents friends etc, I hardly knew anyone there!
Fast forward to the honeymoon. We were like awkward strangers. We actually never had sex on our honeymoon. Was the sex awkward? You're damn right it was.
Fast forward 6 years later and we have a child. Did I make the right decision? If I wasn't a father I'd leave tomorrow. I wouldn't let my parents choose my socks, but I let them choose my 'life partner' (the loser that I am). So why am I sticking around? To cut a long story short, I want my child to do well in life, so am living an act.
Do I have regrets? Don't we all?
Am I a good husband? I never argue, never complain and put on a smiling face.
Have I f*cked my life up? Not totally, I earn quite a lot. And unlike the bullsh*t you hear in the movies, money gives you great options in life, and I try to enjoy as much of it as possible.
My marriage was arranged-ish, in that it was not 'love-based' (initially).
So, I'm of Pakistani descent. I was born in the UK as was my Mum but my Dad is from Pakistan. He moved here when he married my Mum at 22 years old so generally speaking we - as a family - as quite British.
Recently I finished my degree and I had been working for a couple of years at which point my Mum and Dad asked me if I wanted to get married. In Pakistani culture it is not expect that your children go out and date or whatever, standard practice is usually for parents of the children to discuss marriage plans on behalf of the children and the level of involvement varies between cultures, ethnicity, religion etc.
Anyway, my Mum said she had thought about the possibility of me marrying my cousin (I'm the dude in this scenario btw) and asked me what I thought. I was initially pretty grossed out by it but she asked me to mull over the decision for a while. A couple of months later my Mum said that her my (my aunt) said that my cousin (now wife) is willing to chat to me about it if I am. Turns out she was actually playing me at this point because my wife hadn't been told about this at all but my aunt was potentially onboard with the possibility so she did this to get me to make up my mind quickly.
Which I did and I agreed to meet at some point - after all she was hot yeah,Iknowthatsoundsgrosstoyou! We met up and had the most awkward first date ever conceived in the history of mankind where basically we discussed virtually every aspect of normal dating into one 3 hour dinner where we basically discussed our likes, dislikes, what we find attractive in the other person, personality traits etc. Like I said, super awkward, at the end of the dinner we had literally agreed to marry each other which was the surrealest experience of my life. Afterwards I talked about it with my brother and sister (who had apparently known about this plan for me and her to marry before I did) and they been poking fun of me ever since!
A couple of weeks later I send her some non-explicit nude shots and we trade back and forth, a couple of weeks after that we make she comes over to my house and we make out under the guise of 'going to the supermarket to get onions'. At this point I would like to state how surprisingly cool my parents were with all of this, going into this all I assumed (since we are all pretty religious) that we would be banned from seeing each other until the wedding or something but we were allowed to act pretty freely and it was implied that we knew we couldn't have sex.
A little while later making out turns to groping/rubbing (over other/underwear) and a little while later we were sending each other full blown nude pics/videos. This would have been about 6 months after we were 'engaged'. This continued on for another 6 months until we got married.
The actual wedding night the sex wasn't awkward per se, the actual act was. Like physically doing it after talking about it for almost a year but in terms of breaking the ice or anything we didn't have that problem because we were super horny for each other at this point.
Warning - this reads like an erotic story written by a 9th grader
Indian-American (born and raised in New York) here... I had an arranged marriage to a girl in India at 29. I was getting fed up with the dating scene and told my dad that maybe getting married from India wouldn't be such a bad idea. He signed me up for a matrimonial site for Indians. I met my wife by chance on this thing while she was working in Dubai. I have dated a few people in my 20's and two of them got serious enough that marriage was being discussed when we split. I've dated girls casually as well as a FWB. Going in I thought I was well beyond puppy love and was convinced that arranged marriages were for convenience, security, and all the boring but comfortable things things that my Indian parents gave as arguments for arranged marriage. She was extremely shy and spoke in a low tone for our first conversation. Her English isn't as good as mine but I speak our language fluently so we mainly communicated that way. Eventually this turned into Skyping for hours every day for 4 months. The topics we discussed were absolutely the most innocent things you could imagine. I mean absolutely nothing near sexual was discussed but I felt like I was really connecting with someone like I hadn't before. I also found myself really excited at the prospect of meeting her. One of my previous relationships was three years and I felt more honest and safe with this stranger in Dubai over the internet.
I had a little anxiety attack the week before I flew out to India to meet her but I convinced myself that I had no less than a 50/50 shot that this would turn out great for me and carried on. We met and I was floored with how pretty she was. I was used to seeing her sans makeup after her shift (nurse) over webcam. I was really happy with how pretty she is that way so I was smiling ear to ear when I saw how absolutely stunning she looked in person, dressed up in a sari. We talked, I confirmed that I still felt the same way in person as over the internet and I officially proposed that afternoon after a walk (followed by her older brother and wife at about 100 paces). We got married that Sunday. It was awesome... so much more awesome than I expected my wedding to be. We partied until 1am before winding it up and going back to our room.
I knew we were both thinking about it but no one said anything. She sat on one side of the bed nervously looking through her bag. I sat on the other side kind of wondering if I should just go over and put my hand on her boob or something. So I got up and did what I thought would be pretty clear sign... I took of my shoes and socks, took off my shirt and went into the bathroom and ran the water. I stood there for about 5 minutes silently as I waited for her to follow...she didn't. I took a shower with the door slightly ajar, waiting for her to come in... she didn't. I stood behind that door ass naked and tried to get her to come in by asking for a towel... she stuck her arm through the door, gave me the towel and sat back down. My proud erection was a little confused... She was extremely innocent but I don't think I could have been clearer without saying "come in here, I'd like you to see my penis." So I got dressed and sat on the bed next to her.
She got up and went into the bathroom with a pile of clothes. I heard the latch slide over and a door chain being used. I sat through a long shower and watched her come out wearing cotton PJ's with some stupid floral print on them. Not sexy sleepwear like I would've expected. She turned the lights off and sat next to me in silence under the covers. Five minutes of silence before I decided to try tickling her side. She grabbed my hand and I felt her hold it...so I rolled over and planted one on her mouth. She kissed back like the first girl I ever kissed; awkward but excitedly. We made out like I haven't made out since probably high school. Extremely fumbly heavy petting from both sides eventually ended up in shirts and pants being taken off. We were both naked but not "doing anything" yet. I eventually just took her hand as we were making out and put it on my dick. She held it like she was holding a flashlight while kissing me so I was forced to reassess the situation and come up with an alternative plan.
I took both of her hands and held them while I worked my way into position to go down on her. She had reacted when I started kissing her stomach and this turned into "what the hell are you doing?!?!?" once I started what I was down there to do. She was surprised but didn't stop me. She held onto my hands and repeated asking what I was doing several more times before putting her head back and really getting into it. She then had her first orgasm (apparently they don't teach you that girls can do that in Indian nursing schools) and we lay there while I explained what just happened to her. After talking and her regaining composure I rolled over and did my best to get it in. That didn't work and I was too stupid to bring any lube with me from the US. Spit didn't work to well either and she was in pain so I stopped. She asked if I could have orgasms too so I was obliged to show her that I was indeed able. She used her hands (with some step by step coaching from me) and was kind of dumbstruck by what happened. We cleaned up, kissed and laughed some more and fell asleep. After a few more painful attempts, we got that sucker in and have been banging like rabbits since.
TL;DR - got an arranged marriage to an girl from India. The sex was awesome.
When Andy Warhold predicted that everyone would get their 15 minutes of fame, he was on the money. Everyone from skateboarding dogs to rapping grandmas to small town welcome signs seem to get a moment in the spotlight, and in many cases the weirder the temporary fame is, the more memorable.
While big cities across the world have expansive reputations that draw visitors from near and far, smaller towns still get their 15 minutes of fame, often in the most random ways.
I live in a small town in Central Scotland between Glasgow and Edinburgh. It's a nice working class town, but it's not very big. There have been a few things that have 'put it on the map' so to speak.
Last year Brad Pitt was in town filming a scene for World War Z. You can see it in the official trailer for about 1 second at 1:06 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcwTxRuq-uk (Camper van driving down a road).
Then last week it was announced in Vogue that Chanel & Karl Lagerfeld will be hosting their latest Metier d'Arts fashion show at a Linlithgow Palace just a few miles from my town too, which was a bit of a surprise - http://www.vogue.co.uk/news/2012/11/13/chanel-hosts-metier-darts-show-at-linlithgow-palace-scotland
Danvers, Ma. Where the witch trials actually happened. Oh, and the haunted mental hospital. Also, the ink plant that exploded on Thanksgiving.
Sigh. That fame hungry dad who claimed his son, Falcon, was in a balloon.
Christopher Reeve broke his neck riding a horse in my town.
Yeah, my town killed Superman.
In 2010, after Newsweek had declared Finland the best country in the world, the biggest tabloid newspaper conducted a similar research based on the municipalities of Finland. My home city, Kauniainen, was declared the best city in the best country in the world.
It's not a big city - population around 8000, a lot of Swedish-speaking Finns and rich people.
Jacksonville Florida...
We had the church that banned children to keep their pedophile preacher...
It's not the best city.
Pilgrims landed there almost 400 years ago.
In the 90s, my hometown was featured on an MTV show. It was a contest about the most boring Spring Break destinations, and it won.
Jasmine Richardson. 12 year old girl murders her parents and little brother with her adult boyfriend who thinks he's a 200 year old werewolf.
Edit: her name is Jasmine, not Jessica.
I'm from Huntsville, Alabama. Hide Yo' Kids, Hide Yo' Wife.
I'm from Rancho Cucamonga, California.
Workaholics takes place there. As did the movie Next Friday.
My town has Americas longest named body of water. Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg. or Webster Lake, in MA. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/26/Patch_of_a_lake_with_a_really_long_name.jpg
A teenage girl had a baby in the bathroom at Walmart, and left it in the toilet. Yup, my town is a gem.
Senoia, GA, aka 'Woodbury' in The Walking Dead. It's actually bringing in tourists who want to see some 'walkers' during the filming.
We had an upstanding citizen featured in To Catch a Predator. Yayy.
My hometown of Cookeville, TN made national news several years ago when police performed a felony stop (guns drawn, no fuckin' around) on someone who had left his wallet on top of his car, then proceeded to shoot his dog when it got loose.
A movie was made about where I live by the Coen Brothers about murder, horribly incorrect accents, and a f*cking woodchipper.
The Chi Chi's in my town was linked to a hepatitis outbreak that killed 3 people and infected over 600 others....it was just like the movie Outbreak, but with less monkeys.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chi-Chi%27s#Bankruptcy.2C_hepatitis_A.2C_and_closure_in_United_States
I grew up in Sarasota, Florida. Our biggest claim to fame besides having the top rated beaches in the world is Pee Wee Herman getting caught masturbating in an adult theater.
After boasting that it was escape proof, we kinda sorta let John Dillinger escape from our jail :S
edit: Crown Point, IN was my hometown. People called us "Clown Point" for awhile after that.
A kid poisoned a teacher at my high school. I was in the freaking classroom. But did anyone interview ME? NO!
The movie "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" was filmed at my high school. For a whole summer Emma Watson hung out a minute from my house and many of my friends ended up being extras in the movie.
I was born an raised in Enschede (Netherlands), there was a big firework disaster in may 2000. The shock wave of the blast was huge and the smoke was seen in Amsterdam (about 135 kilometers / 85 miles / 79.500 smoots away).
I thought it was in the news all over the world but I'm not sure. Anyone from another country who can confirm?
link for the interested.
Edit:
A video of when it happened (thanks to gurry): click here
Madonna went to middle school and high school in my hometown.
Also, Eminem was re-married at Meadow Brook mansion.
You're not the only person who's obsessed with true crime. You're also not the only person in the room right now...or are you?
This kind of true crime-induced paranoia can affect both podcast listeners and the people who love them.
He wrote:
I am not a controlling person in my marriage. If my wife wants to go out she goes out, if she wants to buy something she generally gets it, if she wants to watch Vampire Diaries for 750,000th time go for it (while I watch something else elsewhere).
But recently she’s started listening to a true crime podcast and it’s starting to affect our daily life. Since listening to this podcast, which she tells me is about unsolved murders, she is starting to get very paranoid and wants to make huge changes to the house that I don’t personally feel are necessary and are not worth the money.
She wants to add door and window alarms which is fine, I don’t personally want them but I can manage with those.
But now she wants to switch out our exterior doors with new ones that don’t have a window at all and also is looking into buying bars for the windows in case someone tries to break in through there.
We do not live in a dangerous neighborhood at all and the crime map online I can look at shows a single case of domestic violence in a 2 mile radius of our house.
Would I be the a**hole if I ask her to stop listening to this podcast and try to work through her newfound fright in a different way?
Also of note as it’s definitely important we do have an almost 3 year old that she is of course worried about and could be fueling the majority of this.
People on the forum related to both spouses.
"[Not The A**hole], I am interested in true crime but I never demanded to turn our house into the DMZ," nashamagirl99 commented. "Wife sounds paranoid."
Salmonellq went with "No A**hole Here." "Maybe your wife is overreacting a little, but nobody's an asshole. Her intentions are good, so are yours," they wrote.
"(No A**hole Here)," sje223 agreed. "Your wife is a concerned mother with new information at her fingertips looking to protect her family, you are a concerned husband who wants to ensure that your wife isn't unnecessarily adding to her anxiety."
It's safe to say that this podcast fan could benefit from diversifying her media diet. She should consider watching something with a little less murder...something like RuPaul's Drag Race.
The days are blending together, we don't remember when we last wore pants, aliens and killer bees are allegedly on the loose and it's safe to say 2020 isn't going to be anyone's "year." However, social distancing and supporting your local essential workers is critical right now to keep people safe. Go ahead, bake that 900th loaf of banana bread, watch everything ever made on Netflix, and get too tipsy on that Zoom Happy Hour call...
Luckily, being trapped inside for a global health crisis hasn't stopped people from churning out hilarious jokes on Twitter. Here are 22 of the best tweets from the month of May so far. Enjoy and stay safe!
Because society places such a high premium on weddings, planning them tends to bring out extreme behavior in brides and grooms. Which is why people who work in the wedding business get a front row seat to some of humanity's darkest and weirdest tendencies. Someone asked wedding planners of Reddit to share stories of the "weirdest couples" they've ever worked with, and people delivered.
1.) From loritree:
I worked at a tux place. I was measuring a groom and his best man. The whole time the best man was saying awful things about the bride. Finally the groom said something along the lines of “oh well, that’s what divorce is for.”
2.) From rabidentertainment97:
I manage events at the facilities I currently work at and we had a wedding where the groom wore a three piece tux, all white, with banana yellow converse and a banana yellow bow tie; his groomsmen wore all black with banana yellow converse and ties.
Throughout the wedding service the groomsmen would hold up emoji signs reacting to things that were happening (each holding up puke emojis when they kissed).
When it came time to get the rings the best man acted like he had lost it when suddenly a man in the audience stood up and threw a frisbee with the ring taped to it to the groom (they were all avid frisbee golfers). The frisbee was also their guest book signed by everyone who came.
The thing that saddened me is it seemed the bride really did not want to be marrying the groom. One of her bridesmaids came to me before the wedding asking for any snacks for the bride because she felt like she was gonna throw up from crying so much.
I hope the best for them in the future but it was all a little hard to watch.
3.) From AloopOfLoops:
I had one girl who wanted the guests to pay for the expenses she needed 900$ per person.
I don't think she got a single yes to her invitations. She asked me to lower my costs. At that point I kindly asked her to get another person to help her. I don't know what happened after that. Maybe she canceled the thing.
4.) From hititandquitit_:
I've had a few weird couples for sure. The one that comes to mind first is one that is getting married later this year. The bride and groom are around 19-20 and they act like children. Like the bride literally will only talk in a baby voice to her parents who hover over everything. They also picked to go with Spider-Man and Beauty and the Beast as their theme. Yes they want both to be depicted and not in a fun adult interpretation of it, but in like wanting to use party supplies that you would use for a kid's birthday.
My venue also rents out a fog machine that can be used for the first dance. We had this one groom that was obesseed with ninjas and wanted to try to "hide" in the fog and jump out and do crazy karate moves and such. It was weird.
Those are the only ones that stand out to me, but I've definitely dealt with a lot of weirdos.
5.) From AloopOfLoops:
I had one wedding where the bride told the groom aloud at the altar "I'm not really that in love with you.... but I think you'll be a good husband."
The look on his face..... He tried to laugh it off and told her to hush but he was tearing up as they walked away.
6.) From measureinlove:
Ooh I’ve had some good ones.
I had the groom who wanted the minister to do the “speak now or forever hold your peace” thing, at which point the groom would reveal the gun holstered on his belt by lifting up his suit jacket. I nixed that immediately. The bride was perfectly normal and sweet and I honestly worried that she was in an abusive relationship.
Then there was the father of the bride who was a very strict Presbyterian and was hosting a dry wedding for 225 guests and reprimanded me for using the words “cocktail hour.” Like, yes sir I understand there will be no alcohol served at this wedding but it’s still called cocktail hour. He also wanted 225 prime ribs served in 20 minutes which was impossible with the size of our kitchen. He was a condescending asshole.
Then there was the mother of the groom that pretty clearly didn’t like the bride, and didn’t want to pay one penny more than she had to for the rehearsal dinner (which turned out to be a rehearsal luncheon). She decided on a deli buffet menu (make your own sandwich style) at $13 per person. Didn’t even splurge for the $15 per person version which would have gotten her some potato salad and desserts. She also liked to call me on my cell phone at 7:30am, well before I was in the office. I stopped answering her calls until she would call my office phone.
All in all though most of my couples were perfectly normal and nice. I honestly had more trouble with parents than I did with couples.
7.) From vhsfiend:
I met this couple who was so obsessed with the movie Back to the Future. They rented the original Delorean from the film and the groom entered the ceremony inside the car.
The really weird part was they named their child Calvin. Calvin was the name Marty had he went back in time in the 1950s.
8.) From orangustang9:
I was a wedding photographer at one of those cheesy wedding chapels on the strip in Las Vegas. The story I remembered most was this couple who got married it was business as usual. We didnt think much of it, had the service and took the photos. We told them to return the next day for photos. The next morning we get a call from the groom we will call "James" saying that his new wife "Emily" threw him out of the car last night and left him on the side of the road. We come to find out James wasn't an american citizen so he essentially paid Emily I believe 10,000 dollars so he can start the process of becoming a citizen. He was now asking if he could annul his wedding after being scammed out of 10k. It's fairly common youd go online or even to other chapels to "shop" around to compare prices and the types of wedding packages other chapels offer so a few months later we see Emily on another competitors wedding website with a different guy!! So we assumed she was making this a business marrying dudes for money and leaving them high n dry. I wish I had some more resolution to the story however that's all I have on my end...Other than that you encounter alot of interesting walks of life doing elvis theme weddings/ceremonies with the occasional costume themes.
9.) From badjuju824:
Former wedding coordinator for a very small, very high end company. You can make a LOT of assumptions just on observing someone’s wedding morning.
Most memorable - Not “weird,” but “terrible in all ways.” Also possibly “socially inept.” This bride and groom were clearly both so rich and so entitled their entire lives that they didn’t know how to function properly. The bridal party suite (in a penthouse hotel room in downtown Chicago) was silent except for a comment here and there from the bride’s mother about it being a big day. The bride complained about everything - the mimosa being strong, the water being room temp, the bagels being bagels instead of fruit, everything. She didn’t respond when I asked her questions, and instead looked at a bridesmaid with annoyance to answer for her. The groom’s suite was trashed with liquor bottles and they were walking around in boxers 5 minutes before photos. I told them we had 5 minutes, and the groom drunkenly responded “hey, HEY, I’m pretty sure I’m really important today. It’s not going to happen without me. And it’s not happening in five minutes.” And then the guys decided to slide down the back stairwell banister instead of take the elevator to the lobby. One of the groomsmen didn’t go with them and told me I “really needed to take control of the guys otherwise why were they paying me?” OH and, and groom’s mom came into the suite with her dress, which showed almost all of her titties, and said “how do I look boys?!” They all hooped and hollered for her. I had to stifle a laugh. 0/10 would not recommend.
10.) From livingmayhem:
I was a wedding coordinator intern at a local banquet hall once summer. The actual coordinator on staff would work with them for months then I’d typically help out with the rehearsal and ceremony/reception the next day. We had one couple that we knew was going to have an interesting ceremony. We knew she was going to have elements around the hall that were woodsy and natural because she liked fairies, and also their best friend was going to marry them and it was his first time. They show up to rehearsal and she’s in full fairy wings and she confirmed that, yes, she was going to wear them in the wedding. Sure, whatever. We start getting a ceremony order together. Groom is super awkward and won’t give a straight answer, barely even looks us in the eyes. Bride has somehow failed to inform us that her parents are divorced and haven’t spoken to one another in years. Great. That eventually gets worked out and they walk down the rehearsal aisle to the poor guy officiating. We tell the officient he can practice what he wants to say or just skip it and cut to the ring exchange. Homeboy pulls out a stack of papers and proceeds to read a 25 minute speech. Bride looks like she wants to ascent to another plane and the bridesmaids are barely containing themselves. They were nice and their wedding day was great and frilly and warm. Oh, and the officiant had them do their vows while he twirled a wand with streamers on it. What a weird weekend.
11.) From Tackybabe:
I had a couple hire me and the night of our first consultation, they bickered and got a little inappropriate... maybe they thought it was funny, but they were strangers and I met them in my home and I found having them there uncomfortable. It seemed clear that they didn’t know one another very well and it looked to me to be a Green Card kind of situation. I would bet money that they are no longer together.
12.) From a_garzon3:
I bartended a wedding of 2 transspecies people. She thought she was a pony. He was a centaur. They were pretty adamant.
13.) From John6233:
I'm a chef for a caterer/event planner, US based. We coordinate everything for the couples (unless they choose not to). We always learn the crazy stuff about the couple direct from the person who has been meeting with them for months and is coordinating the night of. Or we saw it first hand if it happened at the wedding itself.
One couple got married in a gorgeous old venue. No alcohol (VERY odd), no music, no dancing. The couple had their actual first kiss after the vows. They barely looked at each other the whole night. A waitstaff found the officiant's wife crying on the floor "not knowing if she could keep doing it". She pleaded for a drink, which we didn't have because it was a dry ceremony. Then she disappeared for a while. We think they might have all been in a cult. But that info wasn't relevant to the booking so we can't know.
Honestly that is just the first one that comes to mind. After seven years doing this you see some weird shit.
14.) From Chewyjhewy:
My friends cousin is a wedding planner. One of their clients had their wedding in the cemetery, just because they wanted it to be unique. They were televised on their local tv channel.
15.) From Chipcobandtea:
Early in the morning, I had to go on a hunt for the missing groom in Marbella who had been on a 24hr drugs fuelled bender with his grooms and best man the night before the wedding. I Found him in one of his mates rooms at the hotel still wide awake. There were pills all over the floor and the room they were staying in had kids in (who were asleep at the time but still fucking disgraceful). The bride was threatening to leave but eventually changed her mind and the wedding went ahead. The groom hadn’t slept and his dinner speech was the worst shit show I had ever seen. The very angry father in law had to prompt him throughout on what to say. I later learnt that two of the bridesmaids got divorced with the groomsman after that night.
16.) From bdaniell628:
Had one couple who left to "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" - her a tiny thing in a pink gingham dress and he about 6'1" in overalls with no shirt
One couple, very young, who wanted to do the dance they had learned in ballroom class but could only do it to Santana's Smooth
One couple, again very young, who had nine bridesmaids in floor length hot pink gown with matching elbow length hot pink gloves and matching hot pink Converse. And they served pink lemonade to drink
One couple who wouldn't let me play any songs but the ones they requested which were all hardcore rap and most of their guests were 60+ year old white people.
"Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it."
-Jane Wagner
Are you stressed out? Welcome to the club. Life is pretty dang anxiety-inducing. These memes will be hilariously relatable to anyone who's stress level is through the roof right now.
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