If you've ever spent your hard-earned cash on something ridiculous and useless, you are not alone.

A Reddit thread had people confessing their most embarrassing purchases, and they can't blame them all on Drunk Amazon Shopping. Places like Spencer's Gifts, museum gifts, and carnivals exist precisely because middle schoolers have interesting priorities.

Here are the hilariously specific answers—not the obvious ones like a wedding and a college degree.

1. "When I went on a school field trip to Washington DC back in middle school, I bought a $2 bill at a souvenir shop for $20. smh."

-ogkudo

2. "A copy of Cory in the House for the Nintendo DS. Except fo 30 dollars. In 2019...."

-WobbleFrosty

3. "A 155 pack of condoms. A week after I had a vasectomy. Complete brain dead moment."

-Meanings_Kits

4. "Got drunk and started ordering Ninja gear off of Amazon and forgot about it until it showed up like a week later. Swords, nunchucks, a suit and mask."

-CeeArthur

5. "Shamwow. I mean, it's got 'sham' right there in the name. But I wanted to support Vince from Shamwow's crusade against Scientology."

-tellincob

6. "I was pretty high one night and bought a pool net handle (one of the 16 foot metal ones) in order to turn off the living room lights from the couch."

-butt_stallion_is_hot

7. "I spent $40 one of those amusement park booths where you had to throw darts at balloons. For some reason, I picked out this really ugly 7ft tall frog stuffed animal. It’s in the corner of my closet and still scares me when I’m half awake in the morning."

--ariose-

8. "The blanket that makes you look like a giant burrito. It was super thin and of poor quality, not to mention not big enough to cover me. Now I’ll never look like a burrito!!"

-its_not_appropriate

9. "I bought my oldest a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man."

-Haplo74

10. "Shampoo. I'm bald."

-uwhy

11. "My quarantine shopping recently lead to me purchasing a manatee shaped tea infuser..."

-EiEnkeli

12. "I bought a pager. The clip snapped, I took it to where I bought it. 'We only cover the pager, not the case.' I walked outside right in front of the window and spiked the sh*t out 8f it. Walked back inside and said 'My pager is broken.'"

-JonnyRebel357

13. "I bought a 'make it yourself' music box, with a series of cards to punch out the notes and then insert so you can play whatever tune you want. Thought I could make my GF a special gift, then I realised that I cant read music and when I tried to punch it by ear it sounded bloody awful."

-LifeIsBizarre

14. "I was drunk and bought Monster Ballads off an infomercial. And I paid an extra $20 for rush delivery, because I was drunk and needed it ASAP, and it showed up a month later."

-TheDandyWarhol

15. "I was just a few weeks out of basic training and bought one of those family lineage with the shields on it and description. I blew $500 or so bucks just to find out it wasn't even accurate."

-th3_warth0g

16. "When I was like 14 I bought a pack of intentionally mismatched socks that were really expensive. Like, only one of each pattern. Could have bought twice as many normal socks and just mismatched them myself."

-virgo-punk

17. "I’d had a few drinks (TGIF) and wandered into a Williams Sonoma store in a state of euphoria. There I saw a special edition Kitchen-aide stand mixer made in bronze that was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. It was on sale for $999.00. Naturally, I bought it, but because I’m a single guy who doesn’t bake it’s just taking up much needed counter space."

-o_shrub

18. "The Uber eats delivery fee for an entire dozen cookies from great American cookie. I live less than half a mile away but i was lazy and I wanted those goddamn cookies at like 10pm. They were glorious and I don’t want to think about the calories I consumed that night."

-ZFP000

19. "I was 11 and my dad gave me 50 bucks to spend at the mall. So, I wandered into a gift shop and spent it all on an electronic vibrating oinking pink pig. I never played with it after I brought it home.

20. "Tried to return it, only to be offered store credit."

-TheQueensBishop

21. "In-app purchases. I once blew $1000 on a mobile game."

-mylegismissing

Unless you're a lawyer, most of us get our understanding of laws from procedural television shows and blindly trusting whatever our friends tell us.

Turns out, there are a lot of things that most people just accept as laws that actually aren't at all. In the United States, there are still plenty of archaic laws that get passed around as rumors but aren't still enforced. Shout out to the laws we all hear in college about how six women living together is considered a "brothel."

So, when a recent Reddit user asked the all knowing legal network that is the internet, "Lawyers, What's a law that isn't real that normal people insist exists?" lawyers everywhere we ready to set us straight on all the legal rumors we still believe.

1.

Probate attorney here. I’ve had many people ask me when the ”reading of the will“ is going to take place. I explain to them that only happens in movies. But one of these days I am going to have one, and hire a mysterious blonde wearing a veil to sit in the corner quietly. Then I’ll tell everyone that she inherits everything. Provided, of course, that she must adopt the decedent’s cute but troublemaking six year old child no one knew about. Or she can spend the night in a haunted house. Her choice.- SpaceFaceAce

2.

That commercial use of a photograph means selling the photograph.

Commercial use means that there is an implied endorsement. You can take and sell photos of Eric Clapton all day long. Put that same photo in an advertisement for a certain guitar without a release and you can be sued. - xaclewtunu

3.

People that think it's illegal to be video taped in a public space. - RmeMSG

4.

In California, it's not illegal to discuss your wages with your co-workers, despite what your boss might say. - Coolest_Breezy

5.

You do not need to wait 24 hours to report someone as missing. - LadyBugPuppy

6.

The one that is the most frustrating to me, even though it's not really a specific claim that a particular law exists, more a rule of evidence, is "that's just hearsay! You have no evidence!" Comes up all the time, in all kinds of contexts. Even lawyers love using it when it suits them: "nothing but hearsay and speculation."

Usually, what people mean when they say that is "don't believe them! They're lying!" Which, fair enough, but that's not what hearsay means.

Lottttts of evidence is just a person talking. That's what a witness is. It's why testimony exists. It's not not evidence just because it's a person talking. "Hearsay" just means that in most cases, you can't have person A say that person B said XYZ, in order to prove that XYZ actually is true. Hear-say, get it? A heard B say it. It just means your witness can only talk about things they actually know about.

(And, extremely importantly, it also doesn't count as hearsay when person B is actually the person on the other side of the case. Person A is totally allowed to say "Person B told me 'yes, I will commit the crime on Tuesday" if Person B is the defendant, who has been accused of committing the crime on Tuesday. You don't get to complain it's hearsay if you're the one who supposedly said the thing they heard.) - DogEsq

7.

It's a law that exists but widely misunderstood is the concept of Entrapment. If the police put a Bait vehicle in a high crime area, that is NOT entrapment. If the police are watching a bar known to over-serve to see if there are impaired drivers at the end of the night that is NOT entrapment.

Entrapment only occurs when a gov agent suggests committing a crime that you were not otherwise going to commit. - Dinothegreen

8.

"If you live together for X period of time, you're automatically legally married."

There are different time periods for different purposes, and being common-law doesn't always have the same effect as being married. So for example your employer might give your partner spousal benefits after one year, but division-of-property laws might only apply after three. And all of this varies from one place to another. Some places don't have division-of-property laws for common law spouses, for example. - snow_big_deal

9.

No laws against driving barefoot. - LaserBeamsCattleProd

10.

A lot of people think that the law requires you to be a good, decent person.

If I'm sitting on a bench and see a blind person about to walk into the path of a bus, it's completely legal for me (in the United States) to remain silent, take my cell phone out, and take a video of his death. It's even legal for me to profit from the video. I'd be a monster for doing it, but there's no law imposing a duty on me to tell this stranger, "watch out for that bus!" - NoBlueKoolAid

11.

There is no law that requires the police to provide you with their name and badge number when asked (there may be internal policies, but it's not the law).

There is also no law that requires the police to get a supervisor if demanded (again, policy vs law).

There is no law that allows you to question whether an order given by the police is lawful or not (a court has to decide if the order was lawful after the fact), but there are laws to punish you if you do not comply. - Pazlen

12.

It's federal law in the US that a plain clothes or undercover police officer HAS to identify themselves as law enforcement if asked. No, it's not the law, and they can tell you whatever the f*ck they want. - doctor-rumack

13.

Driving with interior overhead car lights on is not illegal. - GuiltyLawyer

14.

Brothel laws at universities. There are no laws stating that 3 or more women in one house constitutes a brothel. - fingawkward

15.

They cannot arrest a husband and wife for the same crime. - ToastAndASideOfToast

16.

Typically, you can’t just go get a restraining order against anybody. Most states have specific laws for who you can get restraining orders against (typically household members or former romantic interests). Usually, it’s only in domestic violence cases or for victims of crimes.

You can’t just get a restraining order and comically use it to keep someone 100 feet away. - hawkjc19

17.

People often assume that if they were treated unfairly at work like getting fired for something trivial that someone else got away with, that some kind of law has been broken and that they have a strong case for suing. In most cases this is not true. There are only a very few reasons for firing that get a company in trouble. Firing for race, color, national origin, religion, sex, age, or disability is illegal in all states. Firing for anything else varies from state to state. In many states this means you can be fired for a medical condition, your sexual orientation, tattoos, that stupid look on your face, your weight, etc. or just because I'm not attracted to you. - shadetreephilosopher

18.

Many people think that black belts in martial arts have to register their hands as deadly weapons. It pains me when people say this. You can tell who's lying their a*s off when they say "My hands are registered as a deadly weapon since I am a black belt in (Insert martial art here). - [deleted]

Few subjects bring out people's passion quite like kids and pets.

Whether you're a parent and pet owner, a childless animal lover, a parent who can't stand animals in the house, or a single person trying to distance your self from tiny humans and animals alike, there are a LOT of feelings and opinions surrounding how people should parent, and how animals are treated.

So, it's hardly surprising that the internet got into a heated discussion when a woman tweeted about pouring water on a neighbor kid after he poured water on her cat.

Shannon Cooper likely didn't expect to prompt a viral discussion when she jokingly posted about exacting revenge on her young neighbor.

Nonetheless, the tweet quickly set off a chain reaction of responses.

Some people were quick to write that Cooper could've handled the situation better, and should've talked to the boy and his parents instead of giving him a taste of his own medicine.

Others however, were fully in support of Cooper's method of problem solving, and were quick to point out that 10-years-old is old enough to know better.

Of course, as with any popular Twitter thread, there were also plenty of memes and GIFs roasting the situation as a whole.

Cooper followed up with a picture of her cat and a tweet claiming the boy and his dad weren't too pressed about it, and they're all technically friends, which paints the story in a very different light.

What do you think of the situation - was it inappropriate for her to throw water on the kid, or was it a good way to teach a lesson?

We've all been there, someone we thought was a close friend or potential romantic partner shows their real cards, and we know it's time to run far, far away.

Pretty much everyone whose lived on this spinning blue ball has a few absurd opinions and beliefs, but there's a line between holding a weird belief and completely jumping off your rocker into the abyss.

In a popular Reddit thread, people shared the moments they realized someone was off.

1. From OP:

Here's mine: Lived with this seemingly logical, levelheaded, intelligent guy for a couple of months and he tells me he's decided he can trust me enough to tell me about his theory on why the world is f*cked up. Started with chem trails and killer vaccines, then on to Jewish control of the media and the 9/11 conspiracy, then on to the handful of elite families that control all the money in the world, and finally to the ultimate source of power and corruption for the entire world: ALIENS. Yes, aliens.

Apparently they are dying due to some genetic weakness and have come to earth to conduct cross breeding programs with humans to strengthen their stock. In the mean time they have approached and struck a deal with the aforementioned elite families and military leaders to help smooth the way for an eventual takeover of the entire world.

The wackiness continued when he started occasionally accusing me of the most random, illogical and weird sh*t, and would refuse to believe my side of the story because my explanation "just felt wrong." It was really confusing, because he was slowly becoming more unstable, and could turn his emotions on a dime. Turns out the guy was not only astoundingly paranoid, but had borderline personality disorder as well. THAT was the OH SH*T that got me outta there.

Edit: It's interesting and completely in character to note that he had an extreme, basic mistrust of anyone with any real, verifiable authority, such as doctors and scientists, as well as a general trust for higher education in general. At the same time he would swallow whole the theories and testimonies of random self-proclaimed UFOlogists and other shady characters who gained personal fame and/or made money directly off of their devoted and gullible followers. This is why he'll never see a psychiatrist. He's convinced himself that the psych profession and industry is simply a massive effort at mind control, specifically for the purpose of silencing people like him, who can see "the truth."

Shouldn't there be an equivalent term for "not putting your dick in crazy"? "Not letting the crazy put it's dick into you", perhaps? Sounds vaguely Nietzschian . . .

Edit 2: Yes, I am aware that it's possible that some or any of his conspiracy theories could be true. I'll buy that all the world's money is probably controlled by a handful of families. As for the rest, I DID try my best to wrap my brain around his ideas, in the very least o I could understand him better. I never told him he was right, but I never really contradicted him, either, except to say that without any evidence I couldn't believe them outright. Honestly, I believe in the existence of conspiracies in general, I just don't believe in the majority of stuff he was talking about.

Most importantly, his beliefs weren't why I left him. I left him because he started raving at ME about what he perceived were MY thoughts and motivations, and then accused me of lying when I corrected him. That was too much.

2. From romans_twelve:

One of my friends in high school got pregnant. I spent a lot of time with her and her family during the pregnancy. She made me the godmother of the child. After 9 months of belly swelling and weight gain, she did not have a baby. She had made it up and convinced her friends, her parents, even her boyfriend.

3. From jester510:

Dating a girl but it started going poorly, she didn't understand boundaries at all... Like I'd tell her that my plan from 6-10pm was to go out to a birthday party for a friend. She'd call at 7pm and beg me to leave. So I broke it off, it was amicable.

Calls me two days later: "I'm pregnant." Well sh*t. So I start talking to her and planning how we are going to raise this child... but all she wants to talk about is why I dumped her. Long story short, she faked a pregnancy, when I call her out on it she responds with "I'll take another test right now and come show it to you" so... she comes over with the test... the test shows nothing. And she screams: "but I know I'm pregnant!"

So she's f*cking crazy. I tell her to never talk to me again "YOU CRAZY B*TCH" so she proceeds to call my brother, mother, my ex-girlfriend, my friends and ask them all what is wrong with me.

Bonus!: Then I start getting messages saying: "call me before Sunday... I just want to hear your voice one more time before I'm gone... FOREVER" ... UGH I don't want a suicide on my conscience so I call her and give her the number for a suicide hotline... she gets angry because I "misinterpreted the voice mail.... and can't we hang out sooon?" Click.

4. From pakage:

My ex girlfriend faked the birth, death and burial of a fictitious baby and accused my new girlfriend of digging up the fake baby's ashes. Sh*t was f*cked up.

Edit: Here's the news article about it.

5. From InferiousX:

We weren't an exclusive couple yet, but this girl and I had slept together a few times, become kind of buddy buddy. But something about her always felt "off". I always hesitated at the idea of making her a serious g/f.

Then one day while watching a movie, she randomly tells me that she can talk to cats. I say:

"Oh you mean like communicate with them? Kinda 'Horse Whisperer' type thing."

Her: "No. I can hear them talk. Just like you're talking now. Except they only talk to me and they tell me how they feel."

Me: "....huh..."

Her: "Yea they also tell me about when they see ghosts n stuff."

Believe it or not, I didn't break it off right away (sex was pretty good)

I also questioned myself being around her when I met on of her friends, who proceeded to tell me right off the bat that one day, him and a friend of his got high on mushrooms and LSD and tag teamed a coyote in the woods.

My life is a f*cking cartoon.

6. From Lancks:

"Why do you wear glasses? You should just self-actualize the problem, realize the solution and you'll be able to see clearly again."

"...What?"

"Have you heard of Deepak Chopra?"

7. From DigitalHubris:

Online dating gone weird:

I had recently moved to Florida and knew almost no one, so figured online dating would be a good way to meet people/get out of the house.

A very cute girl emailed me via Match.com and started chatting, eventually made plans to meet at a bar.

The night I meet her there, I am shocked that she is in fact more attractive than her pictures.

We sit down and order a few drinks and hit it off right away and start discussing indie movies. After drink number 2 she says to me "I hope this isn't too forward, but how about we go back to your place, grab a bottle of wine, and watch a movie?"

This is where it starts to get weird.

I agree, and she says that she needs to go to the bathroom, and with a smile, says "Don't leave before I get back." About halfway between me and the bathroom, she repeats "Don't leave before I get back." I thought it odd, but let it go.

She returns from the bathroom, and as we are halfway through our 3rd drink, she says to me "I hope this isn't too forward, but how about we go back to your place, grab a bottle of wine, and watch a movie?"

Ok, now its starting to be strange as she is repeating things, verbatim, and this is only the 3rd drink. But she is hot, and so I told her "We are. We are going to watch Pi. Remember?"

"Oh yea." She says.

So we finish our drinks and I pay the bill. She said that she was dropped off at the bar, and so I drive us to my place.

Being Florida, and everything is horribly spaced out, I have about 30 minutes to get home. While driving, she falls asleep...into my lap.

I figure this explains the Groundhog Day earlier, and figure I will just take her back to my place to sleep it off on my couch.

A about 10 minutes later, I hear a ziiiiiip, and see her trying to fish through the fly of my pants. Apparently she had awoken from her stupor and wanted to thank me for the ride.

I politely decline and she sits up, and reminds me that we need to pick up wine before the movie.

So, we get some wine and head to my house. I pop in the movie and as we start watching the movie, one things lead to another and we start fooling around on the couch....where she asks me to choke her.

Since I have a pretty good indication this girl is batsh*t crazy, and don't want to end up in jail if she decides to show bruises to some one, I decline and we continue to fool around on the couch...and then asks me to take naked pictures of her.

I have never been so happy to own a digital camera in my life.

After our photoshoot, we hookup some more. When finished, she gets up, gets dressed, and tells me "Well you have gotten all you need from me. I'm leaving." I try to protest, but she has her phone out and calls someone to pick her up, as she is walking out my door.

I sit there in shock, wondering what the hell just happened, when I hear a motorcycle drive up. I assume this is her ride, as it departs shortly there after.

About 5 minutes later, I hear my doorbell ring. I of course assume this is a TV crew, but it was her.

Holding a bouquet of flowers.

Apparently the guy on the bike brought them for her.

She hands them to me and said she decided she wanted to sleep at my place for the night and hoped I would drive her home in the morning.

Unsure of what to say, I told her she could and let her sleep in my bed that night.

I drove her home the next morning with an odd story and nude photos to remember her by.

8. From a*s_munch_reborn:

I've said many times, but it's worth repeating:

So, my fiance is at my house, and my old college friend is about to come over. I was excited because this was the first time they were going to meet. She asks what type of snacks do I have for him? Where are my cookies?

Huh?

Well she explains that in her family, when a guest comes over, she has an array of cookies and biscuits and tea for guests. I have to explain to her that guys don't have an array of biscuits. I have a beer in the fridge. Besides, I've known this guy for 14 years, and he's never eaten a goddamn biscuit in his life.

Well, she calls me up two days later and says we are too different, that since I didn't have biscuits, I don't respect people or family at all, and I am a changed man from the one she met earlier. She then says the wedding is off.

I guess I owe some further explanation. She mostly likely had borderline personality disorder - this type of irrationality is a defining characteristic of such a disorder. We got back together, because, yes, I was a little codependent. But the wedding was called off yet again by her - a week before the event. So, no, not bullsh*t, but she was crazy and I did dodge a bullet!

9. From Shpedoinkle:

My mother is clinically insane, but the first time I realized it I was 7 or 8. She and my father were divorced, but she had visiting rights, so every few months I would go stay with her for a week or more.

One night, while I was staying with her, I found her completely topless chilling on the front porch smoking a cigarette. I asked her what she was doing without a shirt on and she told me it was legal to be naked in public when the sun goes down. WTF, even at that age I knew better than that.

EDIT: Oh and she peed in some "apology" cookies and fed them to my brother after they had a fight. I laughed so hard.

10. From Drunk_Tugboat:

I have two friends, let's call them Tom and Steve, who dated for about four years. When they met, Tom was in college and Steve was not. They were a great couple and seemed very happy. After three years, Tom graduated from his university and was accepted to grad school in a different state. They decide to both pack up and move 1000 miles so Tom can go to school. He starts at his new University, but his schedule is strange and keeps changing. Steve never sees Tom doing homework.

After about a year, Steve starts to get suspicious and does some investigating. He follows Tom a couple times and finds that he's not actually going to school. He's just sitting at coffee shops or going to movies. Steve confronts Tom, and Tom confesses that not only was he never accepted to this new university, but he had never attended a single day of college in his life. He made it all up, and got away with it for four years. When asked why he really couldn't give an answer. He was just compelled to fabricate this fake part of his life. Needless to say they are not seeing each other anymore.

tl;dr: Two friends dated for four years with one saying he was attending two universities which he had never even applied to.

11. From bethoneyet:

I had my first serious crush in 8th grade- he was cute, asked me to the Valentine's dance, etc. After a few weeks of dating he convinced me to stay after school to show me something "very important." Turns out there were tiny green bugs living in his blood, that would give him super powers once he'd finished "metamorphosizing"- a process he demonstrated by taking a nap in my presence. I left him asleep in the gym and never talked to him again.

12. From ZebraBalls:

This is a repost, but...

I waitressed in high school. At the restaurant I worked at, there was this super cute guy (think James Franco). We'd flirt a lot, sometimes I'd give him a ride home. One of those times, he asked for my phone number.

I started getting phone calls on my cell from a number I didn't know. It started as heavy breathing, then it turned into a creepy voice telling me I was 'So beautiful' and they wanted to kill me and see my insides. That finally freaked me out enough that I started crying and freaking out. I hadn't told anyone yet, but my dad finally got it out of me. He called the cops, we made a report, but the number was from a pay phone (circa 2001) and they couldn't trace it to a person.

Well, the next day I was driving with my friend to lunch, and I pulled out my phone and was trying to find the number to show her. I rear-ended the car in front of me because I wasn't paying attention and totaled my car. Of course, I get another call that night and I just start screaming into the phone, 'F*ck you, you a*shole, I totaled my car because of you, leave me alone!' (I realize I did not total my car because of them; I was just hysterical from the situation.)

I go into work the next day and that really cute guy that I gave a ride home a couple times and asked for my number goes, 'Hey, are you ok? I'm sorry to hear about your car.'

But I hadn't told anyone at work yet about the car. And the guy wasn't even supposed to work that day, he had just stopped in for whatever reason. It all clicks into place and it turns out it's this f*ck who's stalking me. He's been calling me from the bookstore payphone next to the restaurant we worked at. I tell my manager and he immediately gets fired and told never to come into the restaurant again. He doesn't, but he does hang out right outside the huge picture windows out front and watches me. My manager tells him to get lost. Two weeks later, he has a job as a security guard at the mall and is stationed outside my restaurant, staring. He must've gotten fired because a few months later, he disappears.

About a year after the whole ordeal, I'm stocking napkins in the booths right before close. I'm the only one in the restaurant, manager's in the back. I had slid all the way into the booth, doing sidework, and suddenly there he is. He leans over and puts his hand on the booth behind me, the other on the table, trapping me in. I tell him to go away and he goes, 'Can't we be friends? I was just young then.' Thank God my manager shows up and tells him if he doesn't leave, he's going to beat the crap out of him. Never saw him again.

Nearly ten years ago and it still creeps me out thinking of it. Icky.

13. From godisbacon:

Roommate, in a Coke (Cocaine), Lexapro, alcohol fueled rage, got exceedingly violent after I popped a bag of popcorn for his friends. Took three people to hold him down.

Edit: Specified Cocaine as I should've from the start. Sorry about that. He had been doing it quite a bit that night.

14. From Olliebird:

This is a true story. Names have not been changed. F*ck the innocent

I was sleeping with/dating my roommate, Cait, about 5 years ago. (2 warm bodies, 1 cold cave…you guys understand.) She had a reputation for being a little nutty and her ex-bf, to his credit, did try to warn me. In my experience, she had been nothing but a sweet, nice, caring person who was a lot of fun to be with.

So, one day I get a phone call at work. Cait is on the other end crying hysterically about how someone has broken into the house. Naturally, I tell the boss I have an emergency, and book it home. I get to the house and lo and behold...nothing. Absof*ckinlutely nothing was wrong.

This is how the conversation went. I can’t make this stuff up.

Me: “So…what did they take?”

Cait: “Nothing, they moved stuff.”

Me: “Huh? What did they move?”

Cait: “Everything! Everything in the house!”

Me: “Wait, what? How…I don’t even..”

Cait: “You don’t see it? Everything has been moved exactly 5 inches to the left.”

Me: ಠ_ಠ “You’re serious?”

Cait: “Yes! I even measured!” as she points to a measuring tape.

Me: ಠ_ಠ “Exactly 5 inches?”

Cait: “YES!”

Me: ಠ_ಠ Oh shi- I done stuck my dick in crazy…”So, how’d they get in?”

Cait: “Through my window.” BTW, her window was on the second floor, with a sheer drop to the ground below it and locked from the inside.

Me: “Wait…they scaled the wall…in broad daylight….and unlocked your window from the outside?”

Cait: “Yes.”

Me: “Like a ninja?”

Cait: “Yes!”

Me: “And came in and moved EVERYTHING in the house 5 inches to the left?....even the wall hangings?”

Cait: “Yes.”

Me: “What about the leftover nail holes?”

Cait: “They filled them.”

Me: “What about the marks in the carpet after you move the furniture? What happened to those?”

Cait: “They vaccumed them.”

Me: “Did they put the vacuum back exactly 5 inches to the left of where it was?”

Cait: “Yes.”

Me: “Wow.”

Cait: “I know right?”

Me: “You’re f*ckin with me right? Punking me?”

Cait: “What? No! I’m serious.”

Me: “There is no way you are serious. You really believe this sh*t?”

This is where she solidly decked me in the jaw and broke one of my molars. I kicked her out of the place, she robbed me of my tv, av receiver, and several valuable jewelry pieces and skipped town. About a couple years later she contacted my fiancée to tell her that I was crazy and that she was fat. Completely random and out of the blue. Never heard from her since.

15. From iamatf*ckingwork:

I worked at a care facility for the chronically mentally ill, there were many outstanding stories, but one elderly lady sticks in my mind.

"Christ and Jesus lived inside of me, I burned them to death by smoking, now there is no God."

"The Devil turned me into a pig. People eat pigs."

"I used to live in Egypt, by the pyramids. Camels had one hump back then. Then I sat on one, and it parted into two humps. They've all been the same since."

After falling off the toilet in her bathroom"Iron Man pushed me off the toilet."

"Kiss my black a*s!" She was an elderly white woman.

"I have no bones and no blood, and my body is made of metal."

"Aliens are burning me with a laser beam."

The list goes on, but these are the gems.

16. From True_Bromance:

Okay let's see if this is good enough to be considered crazy.

So I ask this sophomore girl to my senior prom last minute, because I thought she was cute and interesting and I didn't have a date and so I was getting pretty desperate. (Probably makes me sound like a jerk but oh well.)

We go on a few dates to get to know each other better and then the day we go in town to get my tux together, I pick her up and she breaks down and cries and tells me that she got drunk and was gang raped at a party the night before by three of her friends. So here I am consoling this crying girl in my car in her driveway and the mother comes out and starts crying too and telling me that it wasn't her daughter's fault (Apparently the girl told her about it) and the girl keeps asking me if I still like her, so forth. I tell her yes and eventually everything calms down, we get the tux, and go on.

I later find out that the gang rape wasn't a rape at all. She wasn't drunk and according to everyone at the party she wanted to have sex. As for the guys, I knew them, they were pretty good guys, and they said that yes they had sex with her, at different points in the night, but it was consensual. (None of them knew that the others had had sex with the same girl.) Upon further investigation, she revealed that she had wanted sex, but afterwards felt bad about it so SHE FALSELY ACCUSED THEM OF RAPE. I did not go to prom with her.

Fast forward to now, 7 years later: she is dating one guy 'officially' while going steady with another guy, while being pregnant with a third guy's baby and still having sex with him. I think I dodged a bullet.

TL;DR Prom date said she was raped by three guys at a party, she wasn't. Seven years later, she's having sex with three different guys.

Now onto part two, this was my junior prom date. (I did not have a lot of luck with the girls I selected as prom dates.)

I dated this girl for half a year, she was okay but not really my type. We broke it off but she was still obsessed with me and wanted to go to prom with me. I kept telling her no, I'd rather not go. That's when she pulled out the big guns and told me, sobbing one day after school that she had leukemia and all she wanted to do was go to prom with 'a terrific guy like me.'

So I took her to prom. (How was I supposed to say no to that?)

When I came to pick her up for prom, I was waiting in the living room with her father and mother and I said quietly, "I'm really sorry about your daughter's condition, is she getting treatment?" (Except it wasn't said like that, I don't talk like that, but I can't remember the exact words.) To which they replied in shock, "What condition?"

Turns out she didn't have leukemia and was lying to guilt me into taking her to prom, which I still did, but I didn't pay for her meal, I didn't dance with her, and I didn't speak to her for the rest of the night. (Or the rest of my life for that matter.)

TL;DR Prom date lied and told me she had leukemia so I would take her to prom. I have sh*tty luck picking prom dates.

17. From Buglet91:

When I was 17 I was making out with my then-boyfriend when I felt a weird cold sensation on my neck. My hair was wet at them time so I thought I had a bit of my hair on my neck, when I went to brush it away I realized my boyfriend had a KNIFE TO MY F*CKING THROAT!!! It was the dull side the was touching me, but still...I freaked the f*ck out & went home. What's really sad is I dated him for another month.

18. From clocksailor:

I've told this story before, but I realized my first boyfriend and I were seriously, irreversibly incompatible when I asked him why he never looked around before he crossed the street and he said he'd just sue anyone who ran him over.

19. From DaddyDom:

I met a kinky girl online, we chatted once, ended up camming and it went really well. I gave her my phone number and email so we could continue things. The next day when I was at work I got about 20 messages telling me to check my email. I did and she had sent me a link to a video. I open the video and she is in a bathroom crying and telling me "I am a devoted slave master, I'll do anything for you even this." The camera pans down and I get an HD view of a disgusting toilet, dried piss, little shit flecks just pure nastiness. Then she sets the camera down and leans down and starts cleaning the toilet with her tongue.

I'm a pretty hardened kinkster, but the sheer degradation she heaped on herself for me after chatting with me for four hours immediately set off my sanity alarms. Never have I seen anything that set off such a war between being extremely turned on and extremely disgusted. Needless to say I sent her a message politely telling her it wasn't going to work and I didn't think I could handle her properly. She will still message me on occasion and she's sent me more than a few pictures including a few of her getting f*cked by a fat disgusting guy while crying.

20. From DocTaotsu:

Having a conversation with some guys about pissing in the shower. Suddenly one guy chimes in, "Oh man, I love sh*tting in the shower."

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah, it's the only time I feel clean after taking a sh*t."

horrified looks all around"But, but what do you do with the sh*t?"

"Oh, I just push it down the spout with my toes."

Everyone beats a hasty retreat.

Erin Bachman, a 27-year-old mom of two, is wowing the internet with the trick she uses for her kids' treats.

Hot weather means cool treats like ice cream and popsicles, which mean sugar highs and cavities. Bachman has been giving her sons a snack that has all of the fun of eating a popsicle with none of the consequences: water popsicles.

The artist formerly known as frozen water. Ice. She's giving her kids ice, and they're not just buying it, they're begging for it.

"That's what I always do, and they never catch me. Ain't nobody gonna catch me," Bachman lip syncs as she fills the popsicle trays with regular ol' tap water.

The TikTok has over 300,000 likes, and moms (and dieters!) are in awe.

Bachman told BuzzFeed that the main reason she's into the water popsicles is not because of the lack of sugar, but because of the lack of mess. The kids know that it's just ice, and they don't feel duped.

"Both of my kids always say they’re yummy, but they also think that every flavor of real popsicles tastes the same, so I think it’s more that they’re excited about having something frozen on a popsicle stick than it is about the actual taste," she explained.

Bachman is a popular influencer on both TikTok and Instagram.

Come for the water popsicle recipes, stay for the cute kids.

Losing sleep is no joke - sleep deprivation can lead to mood swings, hormonal changes, memory loss, and straight up hallucinations.

Normal interactions can get surreal very quickly when your brain is lacking sleep, and the tasks you normally crush at your job can turn into nightmarish obstacle courses. Which is to say, we should all go to bed earlier and prioritize sleep when possible, because when it goes to the wayside our minds unravel.

In a popular Reddit thread, people shared their weirdest experiences and hallucinations while sleep deprived, and it'll make you want to pop a melatonin.

1. From LunaticSongXIV:

In college, I tried to hold down a donut delivery job while taking a full credit load. I got up at 4:30 AM to deliver, and often was up until midnight or even later. After a particularly busy week with almost no sleep, I hallucinated a man crossing the street right in front of me while delivering and I slammed on my brakes to avoid hitting him.

When I realized that there was no one in the crosswalk -- and no one anywhere in sight -- I finished my deliveries and immediately quit my job.

2. From WhatMakesYouBork:

They were auditory, but I heard sirens in the distance and just kind of weird sounds, not really voices or anything distinguishable.

3. From ShootyMcSnipe:

Mostly auditory for me, like whispers or someone saying my name.

4. From eggosandnosebleeds:

I had a meth problem several years ago. I think my longest stretch was 4 days.

Past a certain point you just don’t know which way is up. Sure meth can make you weird, but in my experience I think the sleep deprivation is actually what makes you lose your marbles after long enough. When I made sure I slept and ate regularly, it was almost like an energy drink. But when I binged and had my junkie weeks, oof.

Once I thought I was hearing music playing loudly somewhere outside. I was convinced it was a soundtrack to a big music festival I had attended a few weeks before that someone had also attended, and was now playing loudly in the middle of the night. (The whole musics festival? Multiple bands had a soundtrack? Bruh.) I couldn’t hear it when I listened for it, but while distracted I could plainly hear it. Dead of the night and no music was playing.

Another time I was sketching in my room at like 3am. I had a friend over who was just chilling with me, asking questions every so often that would lead to discussions. Slowly they responded less and less until I looked at them and they were just looking at me. Asked what was wrong, looked down, looked up waiting for the answer, and they were gone. Never there. They hadn’t talked to me in months after they found out I was using.

So many shadow people. And those took a long time to go away after sobering up.

Whispers, hearing someone talking to me, my name being called, hearing someone talking about me. Even though I was by myself lol.

Sometimes I’d be driving and cars would suddenly be coming straight at me, lights blinding and everything, only to sort of “come to” and realize I’m driving on a back road and I’m the only car for miles.

By no means am I saying any weird mental sh*t had nothing to do with the meth. But in my experience not sleeping for days had a much more horrifying effect.

5. From wildgoose2000:

I had driven for 20+ hours and was in the Arizona/California desert. It was the middle of the night, it had been dark for hours and only other car lights and stars where visible. Started seeing things out of the corner of my eyes, just kind of objects off a distance on the side of the road. Then it was things in the road ahead. That got my attention. After a bit I started seeing fantastic meteor/light showers in the sky. Wasn't scary or anything, didn't stop driving. To be young, dumb, and invincible again.

6. From sleepyprojectionist:

I once spent three days without sleep. By the third day everything was in soft focus, colours were wrong and I was hearing voices whispering my name. I do not recommend it.

7. From MistressLyda:

I had cats in the corner of my vision for the most of it.

8. From -DementedAvenger-:

While deployed overseas with lack of sleep for like 70+ hours, I would black out and re-experience/dream completely different scenarios that happened days prior. It was crazy. Like Deja Vu, but for like an hour.

I’d snap out of it and be completely confused for like 30 seconds, wondering which experience was real.

9. From FirstThoughtResponse:

Scary enough it always happens while driving. I wouldn’t say I’m hallucinating so much as dreaming with my eyes open. The darkness begins to creep in from the side until you’re somewhere else for what feels like you’ve always been there. Then you feel your eyes open and BAM!! Adrenaline. Only lasts for a moment until the same darkness begins creeping from the side again and you’re doing everything you can to keep your eyes open, but keeping them open doesn’t help.

10. From Dustymc456:

It was the weirdest thing. I was taking notes on an extremely boring video in theology but then words started appearing on their own without me writing anything. They were dancing around for a bit and I found it completely normal for a bit but then I realized that words aren’t suppose to dance. Then I snapped back to reality with nothing on my paper.

11. From yung_safari:

I have Exploding Head Syndrome and when I’m really tired sometimes I can see the sounds I hear. If that makes sense?

12. From Warnerthed:

Hearing my brother and other loved ones calling my name whether they're, there or not I can hear them, somewhere.

13. From FloralBison:

For context, this happened during some military training. Laying down in the woods desperately trying to stay awake, usually the plants turn into people. Like you'll see a figure walking around out in front of you, and then "come to" and realize it was just a sapling or a bush or something. Happened surprisingly more during the day than the night.

14. From burgundyXx8:

When Need for Speed Underground 2 came out on PS2 I stayed up for 3 days...aside from being extremely tired and vision/hearing being very impaired, everything was mostly normal...until I woke up standing inside Subway probably 10 miles away with no memory of how I got there. I guess I was hungry.

15. From Takeitoutalready:

Used to overwork myself to the point of hallucinations fairly regularly.

Most were auditory; I’d hear someone talking nearby (usually saying my name or just a couple of muffled syllables), bits of songs; like having an ear worm except louder, lol. A distant ringing telephone was also common. Less commonly I’d hear something loudly falling somewhere.

Visually, I’d mostly see flashes of color or blackness in the periphery of my vision. Like when someone walks by and you just barely see them out of the corner of your eye. Tall figures in the room (such as a coat on a rack) would also briefly appear to be a person standing there. Those were probably the most startling to me.

16. From suziq7722:

When I had a new baby, I was in target with the baby and got a call from an officer. Turns out I had left every single door of my car open. He thought it was a break in. It was not... just me sleep deprived!

17. From dailydonuts16:

It's honestly scary, like one time I was on the verge of falling asleep and I thought I felt somebody run their finger across my cheek. When I snapped upright into a sitting position, nobody was there. I live alone btw. I'm sure I hallucinated it but that sh*t is scary regardless.

18. From DocHoss:

Over one summer in high school, my friends and I stayed awake for a few days playing Dungeons and Dragons and other rpgs. We had tons of sugar and caffeine to help us play through the pain. I was laying on the couch staring at the ceiling and I saw a leprechaun (may have been a gnome...hard to tell from that distance) walk into view standing on the ceiling. He looked down at me, smiled and doffed his hat to me, and started to dance a jig. I said to myself, "Oh HELL no" and buried my head in the pillow until I fell asleep.

19. From iwantallthechocolate:

I sat down on the couch at 6:59pm not sure if I should go to bed then (after not sleeping at all the night before) or try and force myself to stay up another few hours so that I wouldn't wake up too early the next day and throw off my whole sleep cycle. Well I felt like I couldn't even force my eyes open another minute. The next thing I know I am waking up and it feels like it is the middle of the night and I am wide awake and mad at myself for letting myself fall asleep that early and throwing off my whole sleep cycle but it it what it is now.

I get up and go to make myself some tea and the time on the stove catches my eye and it says 7:00. So I assume it is 7am and I must have slept a lot longer than I thought and I didn't throw my sleep cycle off after all. But then I see it is kind of dark out. So I look at my calendar on my phone. It is 7pm on the same day I sat on the couch. Literally only 60 seconds had past since I sat down and contemplated trying to keep myself awake. Still can't figure out how it happened.

20. From BugsArePeopleToo:

Colicky baby woke up every 45 minutes for 6 months straight. It would take 20 minutes to get her back to sleep, leaving me 25 minutes of sleep until I was awoken back up. Not enough for a REM cycle.

I once was in lime at the grocery store, blinked (or something) and the cashier just...disappeared. How long was I standing there? Did I pay for my stuff? No idea what happened.

Another time I was waiting in a downpour at a crosswalk for the walk symbol. A homeless man also waiting was yelling about how he lost his umbrella. Suddenly my umbrella disappeared from my hand. I look back at the homeless man thinking he swiped it but there is no homeless man. Also the sun is out and the sidewalk is bone dry. I guess I was walking down the street with my arm up like I was holding an umbrella.

Too many stories like that.

These memes hilariously illustrate what we're all experiencing right now, having our summer plans completely derailed by the nightmare that is 2020. If you're down about missing out on travels, holidays, and bangin' pool parties, you're not alone. Hey, at least we've got memes, right?

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Social distancing means that instead of staring at your computer for eight hours a day, you're gazing into the cool, blue light for 16ish hours. Work, socializing, and entertainment are all on screen, and while it was fun to not wear pants at first, it can be super exhausting.

If you wish you could just log off, you are not alone.

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Cocktail hour is definitely a different vibe in quarantine...

Remember crowded, hot, loud bars where it was impossible to get a drink because the staff was so busy and people kept cutting you in the "line"? Going outside without a mask that collects a very glamorous pool of upper lip sweat on your face? Going to happy hour when it was actually at a bar and not just you pouring wine for yourself at your house while your co-workers gossip through little squares on a screen? Life is pretty weird now, but it's critically important that we socially distance, wear a mask, and do our part to support our local essential workers.

Turns out, not every social event can seamlessly translate to Zoom. Last week we brought you the funniest tweets from people who are definitely planning on getting delightfully tipsy on Zoom this weekend, and this week is no different. Enjoy and stay safe, everyone!

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"No sh*t" is not just a common way to sarcastically respond to information you already knew—it's also this woman's babysitting policy.

An aunt with the descriptive username nopottynoauntie asked "Am I The A**hole?" whether she'd be a jerk to refuse to babysit her nephew until he is potty trained.

She wrote:

My nephew is almost 5 years old and he is still not reliably potty trained. This is not a cognitive issue, this is the result of my sister in law's "parenting style" which I strongly disagree with.

She's a big proponent of "child led development" which means she lets her kid do basically whatever he wants, whenever he wants. He goes to bed when he wants to go to bed, usually after lots of "gentle suggestions" from his parents. He sleeps wherever he wants, too. He still occasionally breastfeeds for comfort. He wears diapers in public because he only uses the toilet when he feels like it. He knows how to use the toilet, he just doesn't always want to. He eats whatever he wants to eat. You get the idea - there are no rules or boundaries in this kid's life.

He's a pretty well behaved kid despite this, he doesn't have tantrums etc, probably because there's never been a need since he gets whatever he wants immediately.

Now here's where the toilet (doesn't come in):

I recently babysat him while his mom was at a doctor's appointment a couple hours away and I had no idea he was still wearing pull ups. He pissed himself and I told him he needed to go take off his diaper and put his jeans and clean underwear back on. He did that no problem, but then a little while later he pissed himself again after refusing to use the toilet. After he pissed himself the second time, I told him he has to use the toilet when he's with me. He didn't really agree or disagree to that, he just pissed himself again the next time he had to pee and found me afterwards.

She called her sister-in-law, and announced her pro-potty policy:

I scolded him and called his mom. She demanded to know why I didn't replace his diaper and that he usually wants help getting changed. Sorry, that's not what I signed up for when I volunteered to babysit a five year old child. I'm not wiping any a**es or changing any diapers, because I've literally never met someone at that age who is incapable of doing that on their own. I was taking showers, brushing my teeth and wiping my own ass at that age and so was my brother.

Needless to say my SIL feels personally attacked. I know my brother isn't totally on board with this but he goes along with it because my SIL is the primary parent and feels that it's her call to make, since she's with him all day every day, especially since the pandemic started.

After the aunt gave her ultimatum, her sister-in-law accused her of parent shaming.

I told her I won't be alone with my nephew until he reaches the appropriate self care milestones for a kid his age. She can do whatever she wants as a parent, but she's not going to get any more help from me until his behavior falls in line with other kids in kindergarten.

This led to a pretty big argument between us where I ended up hanging up on her after she accused me of parent-shaming her.

AITA?

The Court of Reddit appears to side with OP on this one.

"(Not The A**hole)! A lot of child care facilities that deal with children his age won't accept kids who aren't potty trained. I feel bad for your nephew," littleteacup1976 explained.

Most of the other jurors agreed, citing school guidelines.

"Is she homeschooling him? Because no Kindergarten will admit him if he's still pissing his pants and teachers will certainly not put up with him expecting to always get his way," trashpandainbelair asked.

"If this doesn't stop, his wife/husband will be [here] in 30 years asking if she's the a**hole for denying him something."

People also argued that a mother of a still-untrained five-year-old deserves to be shamed, and corrected the record about what "child-led parenting" really means.

"For the record, child-led parenting does not mean letting your child do whatever they want," tomis2003 wrote.

"Child-led parenting means letting your child make choices like what clothes they wear or what kind of vegetables they want to eat or what book they want to read. It also includes setting boundaries. They’re going to get an unpleasant shock when they realize even Montessori schools require kids to be potty-trained."

“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.”
—Mark Twain

Procratinate as much as you want, but if you put off laughing at these memes, you will definitely be kicking yourself for the rest of the day. This list is silly, wacky, and downright funny. Plus, you're already here so you might as well scroll on down and have some laughs.

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“Woke up today. It was terrible.”
—Grumpy Cat

Are you grumpy in the morning? Of course, you are! What is there to be happy about? Sunshine? Ugh, who cares? Even the crabbiest morning hater will laugh at this hilariously random collection of memes.

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Texting is one of the modern world's most popular mediums of communication. And yet, for a technology that's supposed to bring people together, it sure seems effective at driving people apart. Communication breakdowns via text message are so painfully common, it almost makes me long for the days of communicating by postal service (I'm 104 years old).

Here are 21 examples of text conversations that could not have gone worse for one or both people involved:

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Most adults need between 7 and 9 hours of sleep every night to function at their best. For the majority of parents, especially those in quarantine with their kids, this is nowhere close to realistic. This is where the terms "mom brain" and "dad brain" come from. Sometimes even the most capable parents are simply too tired function at full capacity.

Here are 18 posts from parents who are feeling the effects of sleep deprivation, but haven't lost their sense of humor:

1.) This mom who is accidentally drank from a baby bottle.

2.) This dad who accidentally cooked a baby bottle soufflé.

3.) This mom who forgot to button her shirt up.

4.) This mom who lost her pen.

5.) This mom who hung up her daughter's "car" keys.

6.) This mom who couldn't get her sock on.

7.) This mom who got her brushes mixed up.

8.) This mom who started the coffee but forgot the pot.

9.) This dad who accidentally put coffee grinds in his kid's waffle mix.

10.) These parents who forgot to looked everywhere for their keys, except their key chains.

11.) This dad who learned two rights make a wrong when it comes to shoes.

12.) This mom who washed her fabric softener.

13.) This dad who refrigerated his drill.

14.) This dad who left his keys in his car door for five hours. Oops.

15.) This mom who forgot about her pancakes for two days.

16.) This dad whose exhaustion turned him into an accidental innovator.

17.) This dad who accidentally cut up the wrong credit card.

18.) This dad who remembered to make coffee but forgot the cup.

It makes sense to engage in risky behavior when there's a motivating factor (like financial gain, which is why so many people willingly participate in the show Survivor). But the truth is, humans will often engage in risky behavior even when there's absolutely no reward whatsoever. For many people, fear/adrenaline is reward enough. It's why activities like bungee-jumping are so popular, and one of many reasons ER doctors will never be out of a job.

Someone asked Reddit: "what's the most high risk, low reward thing you've ever done?" These 20 people share stories of the most dangerous and risky things they've ever done with little-to-no reward:

1.) From Cow-Brown:

I swam in the Zambezi when I was drunk on a tiger fishing trip. Still can't believe I was that stupid. For those that don't know, its infested with hippos and crocs, known for taking people.

2.) From SugoiBakaMatt:

I used to dive in ponds at golf courses to collect the lost balls and clean/sort them to sell back to the courses. It's unbelievable just how many snakes, alligators, and leeches live in those things. I made less than minimum wage (around 6ish at the time) and had countless close calls with critters. However, the most dangerous creatures on golf courses are old people. They do not give a fuck if you're working, they will absolutely send balls of hard plastic hurdling at your head at 50mph without a second thought, then get pissed when their ball hit your tank or cart and split open, then demand you hand over some of your recovered balls in compensation.

3.) From Churonna:

My friends and I used to target and steal those signs that said "If you are caught stealing you will be prosecuted". Many illegal things were done and many hundreds of thousands of dollars of stuff was ignored to steal increasingly difficult to obtain paper signs.

4.) From somebitchsthrowaway:

I once followed a young homeless man I just met because he wanted to show me where he was staying. It was nighttime and he invited me down into a dip in the trees. We walked through a dark section of forest then he showed me some rocks and small caves with a couple beds set up. Then we left. I literally followed a stranger into the dark woods because...curiosity? Suicidality?

5.) From Smeggywulff:

My friends and I used to break into expensive looking houses and use their showers. This was in the late 90s when ridiculous showers were in vogue and we wanted to know if they were actually any good (for the most part they were not). We never stole anything (well, except water). We brought our own towels and toiletries. We were very careful about who we "hit" and made sure they had set schedules and no children or pets. The reward was a shitty shower. We risked jail time.

6.) From CheekyBlind:

Climbing up a water tower when drunk to find a friend. Turns out said friend was not even lost. He was yelling at me from the base of the tower

7.) From hybridHelix:

Broke into an abandoned mental hospital on cocaine with a bunch of people I mostly didn't even like in college. Technically I got something out of it-- a door number from one of the rooms, which I promptly became terrified would somehow make me haunted (because cocaine) and passed off to someone else at the first opportunity.

8.) From PurpleEnterpriseNX01:

Jumping onto a bus that was pulling away from the bus stop without closing its doors.

The bus is every 10 minutes.

9.) From PapaOoMaoMao:

Whilst building a house, the second floor had an I beam that extended our into nowhere that needed to be painted with rust protection paint. The floor had not been installed yet and the joists were still going in. To save time, I shimmied out to the end of the beam and started painting. Every breath of wind made the whole thing sway. Just my movements made it wiggle a fair bit. Nearly took a six meter swan dive to a concrete floor about 12 times. I could have painted it after the floor was in but that would mean laying down drop sheets and lots of messing around. Should have waited. Was a totally stupid thing to do.

10.) From igraduatedfromoxford:

Shoplifted condoms 3 years ago, I'm still a virgin

11.) From JimmyReagan:

I skipped class after a standardized test. Literally the afternoon teachers were showing movies and doing nothing and I decided it was smart to get in school suspension to sit behind a warehouse and nap with with my dumbass "friend"...

12.) ​​​​​​​From technitaur:

When I was about 7, there was some kind of meeting we had at school where the school counselor was asking a large group of us if there was anything we were sad or mad about. I think it was basically meant as an introduction to the concept of a counselor.

I was sad that my great-grandmother had recently died, and I mentioned it. The counselor told me that it was okay to be sad, that there's a grieving process, etc. - you know, the regular advice for that sort of thing.

But for some bizarre reason, what I told my mother later was completely different. To this day I cannot figure out why I did this - I don't remember disliking the counselor or anything like that. The only thing I can think of is that maybe I was doing one of those nonsensical 'what happens if I do this thing?' experiments that all kids do.

I told my mom that the counselor had told me 'you need to just forget about it and move on with your life.'

I had nooooooooooooo idea what can of worms I had just opened. My mom was livid. Over the course of the next few days, she called the school asking why the counselor would say something like that to me and she discussed it with a few different people. They asked what the counselor's exact words were according to me, and my mom sat down and began to write a letter to make it into a formal complaint.

She asked me what exactly the counselor said so that she could put it in this letter. At that point I knew this had gone way too far, and I was feeling bad over the fact that I was going to get this woman in trouble. So I finally admitted, quietly, "She said... that it's okay to be sad."

My mom, dad and grandmother were all very disappointed in me. My mom asked me why I would lie about something like that. I genuinely didn't have an answer for her, because I didn't know.

When I said it, I had no idea it was going to go that far. I didn't know that my mom was going to go all the way to making a formal complaint about it - in the few days before she started writing the letter, I was hoping that she'd just sort of let the whole thing go, but she didn't, so I eventually had to fess up.

I still feel bad about that to this day, because assuming the counselor was told about this, she had to be wondering why I was trying to get her in trouble. She was a nice lady and didn't do anything wrong. But for whatever reason, I clicked the wrong dialogue choice and quickly realized that I couldn't exactly reload from save...

13.) From frattboy69:

Decided to see how fast I could get up to on a nearby neighborhood road. Driving my mother's car no less. Got up to 80mph in around 6 seconds I think, and by the time I realized I should be slowing down the tires were screeching as I tried to stay on the road.

It was a mostly straight neighborhood road (35mph) that curved near the end leading to a four way stop. I got up to 80 right where the road began to curve, and as I was turning I was going so fast that I went over into the other lane, just a foot or two from going up over the curb.

Slowed down and brought the car to a stop at the intersection and my family member sitting in the passenger seat looked over at me as if he had just shit the life right out of himself.

I was 19 at the time, and got my license that same summer. My passenger was 16. I've never had such a powerful moment of instant regret after that day. I didnt feel cool at all. I could've killed a pedestrian, a child, or myself and my family member.

That was the day I truly learned that I could lose my life, and have respected all traffic laws since (well, to a reasonable extent). I'm only glad that we came out completely unharmed.

14.) From Knowing_ghost:

Taking a year in a program I wasn’t interested in to try and get a girl, who turned me down instantly. Edit: I wasn’t horny, I was lonely... and we were good friends prior, not so much afterwards as shit got awkward; it was also my second year, so I did get a useless degree I never claimed for my trouble (social science)

15.) ​​​​​​​From Stauen:

I stole every wheel off the chairs in my high school's computer lab as a joke during a 20-minute break. I still have one of them. Probably could've gotten expelled just for a slightly funny joke and a useless chair wheel.

16.) From Happyvibe5:

Balanced on the top rung of a six meter ladder to change a light bulb at work.

17.) ​​​​​​​From ProfethorThnape:

I was in band in high school, I had a friend from middle school that was also involved in athletics at the time and the two of us were outcasts among the greater band nerd population and often got talked down to, which even our instructor would join in on from time to time.

At the time flipping backpacks was popular (taking things out of the backpack, flipping the backpack inside-out, returning the items to the bag and zipping the bag back up).

One day when we had a substitute in and he had the class watch the typical BS Mozart movie from the 80s again. I found a mega bag of zip ties and convinced my buddy to help me flip every students backpack, zip tie the bags closed, and then zip tie the bags into the instrument lockers while everyone watched the movie.

If we got caught and reported the instructor 100% would have suspended us, so we were on extra edge and right as we were wrapping up the substitute locked eyes with us from across the room and realized what was going on and decided to pretend nothing happened and we completed the mission right on time. The class was very pissed as the lights flicked on and they saw what had unfolded.

The substitute came back for a class later that year and talked to us saying he had to actively try not to lose his shit when he saw what was going on.

I f*cking love you Mr Hudson.

18.) ​​​​​​​From MrMcQuestionable:

I started smoking. Like wtf is this stupid shit? It has literally no benefit it just makes me uncomfortable when I don't do it and when I do it as well. F*ck cigarettes

19.) From Pyronic_Chaos:

Once got in a fit of road rage...

• A guy cut me off on the interstate, so I honked at him (wasn't a quick honk, it was a longer one, few seconds)

• Guy slows down and matches the speed of the car in the right lane, so I'm blocked now.

• I flash my headlights and honk again

• He proceeds to spit out his sunroof and it hits my windshield

• He then accelerates heavily back to speed

• I floor it, move to the right lane and move to pass him

• He floors it, now we're both going faster (definitely got over 85mph, limit was 65 IIRC)

• Coming up quickly on a delivery truck in the right lane (he's still in the left, I'm in the right) I punch it harder

• I just barely get in ahead of him then cut him off, maybe 50ft before the delivery truck.

• I slow down and match the speed of the delivery truck. Wait for probably a minute at that speed (speed limit) then pass the delivery truck and move right. (he had been tailgating me and half driving on the shoulder)

• Guy floors and flies past, I return to going 5 over the speed limit.

Lots of risk, zero reward. I was a complete idiot and there was nothing to gain. Saved no time and endangered at least 3 lives, if not more (mine, other guy, and delivery truck)

20.) From bndboo:

Sent my boss a glitter bomb, never told anyone who sent it. The whole organization, thousands of people, know it happened, boss flipped out when glitter went everywhere. I’ll never tell anyone.

We all lose touch with reality sometimes, telling ourselves we'll have "one cookie" (impossible), or that the emotionally available guy will text back "when he has time" (he won't). But for some people, self-delusion isn't just a temporary lapse in judgement—it's a way of life.

Someone asked Reddit: "what is the most severe case of someone being completely out of touch with reality you've ever seen?" These 18 people share stories of the most out-of-touch people they've ever met or known:

1.) From CathNelson:

I will never forget the man who angrily told me, a wheelchair user with no feet and no prosthetics, to go down the stairs if I didn’t want to wait for the elevator (I had been talking to my friend, and mentioned we were going to be a little late because of the huge line).

2.) From Back2Bach:

The pastor of a small town church insisted that members set up the parish hall and provide food and beverages for 125 people after every Sunday service, even though the average attendance was only around 20 people.

Week after week, month after month, much food would be disposed of and large urns of coffee dumped down the sink - and all because the pastor was in denial about the reality of weekly attendance.

3.) From skizzers1243:

There is a girl at my work that always bitches about not making enough bc she makes 200-300 a paycheck. Then is always the first to leave early and always shows up late and has other ppl take her shifts. She asked me how I make 600-800 a paycheck. I said bc I work more. I’m currently at work taking over HER shift. She doesn’t realize if you don’t work more you’ll be paid less

4.) From --BMO--:

I worked on shifts with a guy for years who thought every single person was out to get him. I’ve never met anyone who had such a warped sense of reality.

He would joke on with someone then go away for the weekend and stew on one particular thing, then come in on Monday absolutely raging over taking something the complete wrong way.

I’ve seen him attack 2 people and heard about a third. Thing is he’s so dopey, everyone thinks he’s harmless and “that’s just the way he is”.

A guy I trained as an apprentice has just started on shifts with him, doesn’t take anyone being a dick well at all. I think they’ll do well together haha.

5.) From itsacalamity:

In college I had a roommate from the most sheltered part of Long Island. We met an exchange student from Switzerland and I swear to god she said this in complete seriousness: "Oh wow I didn't know people actually lived in Switzerland, I thought there were just banks there!"

6.) From MyAnimalsBite:

“My parents payed for half the down payment on my house. Pay for our landscaper, housecleaner, child day care, car insurance and give my wife an I a monthly allowance. We’re completely self sufficient human beings who even try and give other friends financial advice...”

Obviously written in the voice of someone I know.

7.) From thunderfart_99:

My parents' neighbour thought that her garden was too small for her sons to play in. So when she met my parents for the first time, the first thing she actually said was "Can you give me some of your garden so my sons have more space to play in?". Thankfully my parents just said no.

For context, they live in a very expensive neighbourhood where houses cost on average from £750,000 to £1 million. The gardens in that neighbourhood are a lot bigger on average than the majority of gardens in the UK. I've never heard a story of somebody being as painfully out of touch as that woman.

8.) From Hennifer__Lopez:

My step brother:

Got into a weird gnostic religious group and thought he could convert people by talking to them (harassing them) Socrates style, except without any ability to carry out a philosophical conversation. Also assuming workplace is a fine occasion to do this. When he'd get fired from his temp jobs he'd assume it's a conspiracy and fight against enlightenment. (This is more funny then deluded as a side note, but one of the group activities is to have to rewrite their religious book by hand, which he diligently did and it wasn't a small book either. Turned out he used the wrong color ink which for some reason invalidated the whole thing)

Got a job in a restaurant as a waiter. Assumed for whatever unimaginable reason that the proper way to act for waiters is to bow after taking the order. When his supervisor asked him to stop he lectured the supervisor on proper waitstaff manners

Wanted to propose to a 50+ year old woman who has until then shown no signs of being interested in him. Luckily he believed in the tradition to first ask fathers permission so he asked his dad who talked him out of it

Had an idea to join the military to convert them from the inside

At one point believed the sun rays can sustain you but luckily never really bothered to practice it

Is totally against capitalism and wants to live a free life as a wandering philosopher rather than live as a working drone like everyone else, however does believe the working drones in his family should support his noble pursuit while also chastising them for selling out

and more

9.) From fd1Jeff:

A woman I knew a few years ago. She had a job. She was convinced she was supposed to be a movie star. She never did any acting, though. She also told me about the married man that she had slept with, “he loves me, but he can’t leave his wife.“. She actually did stop having sex with him, but they still hung out.

10.) From picnorez:

An ex became really religious and I'd still talk to her sometimes. Somehow the topic of flat earth theories came up and she said she thinks it's actually possible that it could be true. I tried to explain that we have more than enough imagery and data indicating that the earth is round, and she said it could all be planted there by Satan.

You just can't come up with a response to that.

11.) From Crazielilpoptart:

Work with a girl who is a flat earther and on top of that denied the existence of space. When the topic came up and I disagreed she asked if I had ever been there... obviously I haven't. I told her I have also never been to Japan and that does not mean it doesn't exist.

She complained to management about my intolerance of her beliefs.

12.) From meehaja:

My sister in law. Kicked out by her boyfriend, comes to stay with us for a few days. We suggest looking for a flat/ cheap house to rent near us. She won’t live in the scummy part of town near us, she’d like a three bed house with garden in the best part of town. She has no savings and isn’t sure if she has a job (was a part time cashier in a super market, stopped going to work when covid came (note, not furloughed, super market still open, she’s just not going in).

When I suggested maybe she couldn’t afford £500k on a family home on her salary, she suggested she’d “just get a council house”. Disregarding the huge waiting list and the fact that most council properties are I the ghetto parts of town!

This is just the crust of a deep layer of unhinged fantasy world that she lives in.

13.) From bricorianlive:

I was a stable hand of a very upper tier barn in a wealthy part of the country. The staff have to sign non-disclosure agreements to protect clients.

On one particularly scorching July day, I overheard a client venting to another about how she was "incredibly stressed" and "going to have a mental breakdown" because her first choice catering company was all booked up for the weekend of her last minute yacht party.

I'm paycheck to paycheck and had probably a total of 3 days off since christmas. I would love for a yacht party to be my basis for a mental breakdown. Needless to say, the staff had a healthy chuckle on that one.

14.) From swallowyoursadness:

My friend suffered a psychotic break when we were teenagers. He’d been smoking weed constantly for a couple of weeks, not eating or sleeping, and I think he had some underlying mental health issues anyway but that routine just sent him over the edge. Before his parents had him admitted to hospital, he cane and met us before we were going out to a gig, he was wearing a pink silk pyjama shirt and jogging bottoms and just looked very unwell, he was rambling on about the discoveries he was making and that he was going to meet some scientist in America. Then he laid on the pavement in the middle of the street and told us we all had to lie down to conserve the earths energy. That was about 15 years ago, he runs a successful business now :-)

15.) From C0l0n3l_Panic:

I dated this girl who believed her roommates were spying on her. That every time they had friends over and were hanging out in the common space and laughing, it was because they were spying on her in her room. She also believed the government was spying on her and her parents directly. Us dating lasted about a week and ended not just because the red flags, but because she tried to drop by unannounced after only being on a couple dates.

16.) From fiftynineminutes:

I had a fat, ugly, unemployed friend who believed he deserved a perfect 10 girlfriend. He only asked out women that were WAYYYYYY out of his league. It was so cringey. He truly had no self awareness. In the club he would walk up to supermodel types and ask them out and would come back angry when he was (always) shot down. He eventually moved to Brazil because he was convinced American women were too smug to appreciate his excellence.

And the crazy thing was that he wasn’t just playing any “confidence is sexy” game or anything. He 100% believed in this. He saw himself as a god.

17.) From Dabistar:

All these people that think that the corona virus is a made up disease or is being spread by 5G towers.

18.) From WhatWasThatLike:

Celebrities broadcasting from their mansions about the suffering of the Covid lockdown.

Memorial Day weekend marks the beginning of the summer season, and according to pictures of parties across the country, it'll mark a second spike in coronavirus cases.

Videos of a packed party at such beaches as Missouri's Lake of the Ozarks went viral (no pun intended), and had people cringeing at the shameless violations of social distancing during the pandemic.

People might have Memorial Day off, but the virus does not, and the partiers who put themselves and their communities at risk are being shamed on social media.

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Just as quickly as a crush can develop—like when a guy brings out a guitar at a party and plays a song that isn't Wonder Wall—it can also instantly dissipate. Nothing pops the balloon of infatuation like a bad joke, public humiliation, and littering.

A Reddit thread asked the internet, What made you lose interest in a person you had a crush on?"

The results are a interesting insights into the big and little things that men and women find to be dealbreakers.

1. Why you gotta be so mean?

I realized she was mean.

About 4 years ago, I moved in next door to a beautiful woman. She was fun and we got along great. We started doing activities together. We hiked, we worked out, we watched movies.

Then one day, we went to a fast food drive thru and she completely berated the workers for no good reason. I was mortified. Then as we were driving away she said "They're the stupidest people. They never listen." Then I said "You know they probably spit in your food, right?" She gave me a "thanks a lot" look. My crush ended that day. -casino_night

2. Yeah? Well I met someone EVEN MORE egotistical.

I noticed he was an attention seeker, I heard the same cool stories he told me when I first met him that drew me in again and again and realised he was egotistical. Basically if you say you've climbed a mountain he would interrupt to say he's climbed a bigger one that was more dangerous. -ciggybuttbrain666

3. Sounds like The Bachelor.

He kept talking about other girls as if I was supposed to compete for his interest and constantly have to prove myself. Too lazy to figure me out for yourself? I'm not good enough for you? Cool. Bye. Your loss. -aFloppyDisk

4. Was she a Real Housewife?

Watching a date throw a wine glass over her shoulder, off a balcony and onto the street because she was done with it. Just noped the f*ck out of that situation. -Mediocre_Omens

5. That'll do it.

She was a bad parent to her kids. -​​​​​​kwack250

6. Don't be a litterbug.

I was on a date with a girl. We were taking a little walk. The weather was quite cold so she was wearing a big coat. She took her hands out of her pockets. He hands were full of tissues, scraps of paper, candy wrappers, and she just dumped it all on the floor. We were a couple of meters away from a bin. I pretty much went straight home. -Herzogsteve

7. A common dealbreaker!

She littered. It was supposed to be a nice walk in the park, we got subway and she threw the wrapper and napkins in a garden. I picked it up and threw it out myself after she called me weird and walked away. -chevy1500

8. Support the troops?

I found her on Tinder while her fiance was deployed in the Navy. -homojayspliffson

9. Whatever you are, be a good one.

I got a promotion at work, he got butthurt and then stabbed me in the back. He was given a part of the promotion that I was given, not even half of the responsibilities. When I realized that he was a weasel but also not GOOD at being a weasel he wasn’t sexy anymore. -awww_shit45

10. The opposite of PDA.

We got into an argument during my freshman year while we were in the “talking phase” and then she screamed at me in the hallway. -hernia1713

11. Meowch.

She took a cat she had adopted and allowed it to run away because it had become noisy at night. I knew she allowed him to run away because a day later he came back smelling of the outside and meowing at her door.

I took him in, washed him in the bathroom, and she kept sarcastically saying "That's your cat now!".

Yea, he is, and I still have him and he's still annoying and loud but I love him anyway. It's the ugliest sort of person who selfishly adopts a cat while depressed and then tries to rid themselves of this life they took responsibility for. -​​​​​​TheDood715

12. The reddest of flags.

He blew up at our waitress for absolutely no reason other than his having a bad day. Idiot. -WeasersMom14

13. A total Team Rocket move.

I showed him my holographic Squirtle notebook and then shortly after it mysteriously vanished from my cubby and he wouldn't look me in the eye I asked him about it.

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID JOEY. -EFFING_TREE_STARS

14. She didn't deserve you (or the cheesecake).

In seventh grade, I brought her a slice of cheesecake at lunch for Valentine's Day and she laughed at me in front of her friends and wouldn't even take it. I was socially awkward at the time but damn, that fucked me up. -Growlin_T

15. 'Til debt do us part.

Bad money management.

Not into someone who’ll eventually expect me to help them pay off several credit cards. -BigMilk0

16. Pressure makes diamonds.

I found out she couldn't handle any sort of stress or pressure at all and would just give up, left basically everything she touched half finished. -demonardvark

17. Cheers!

Met him in college, thought he was funny and cute so I invited him out for drinks. All he'd talk about were his drunken escapades. Which are fine to have, but have some other interests too. We're still friends and I still kind of like him, but the crush went way down after that. -Aerrianna

18. Sounds like an entitled Karen.

She was getting a masters degree and she mentioned casually one time that she was paying people to write her papers for her, didn’t seem phased by it at all.

I worked my a** off to get my masters, so hearing someone thinking nothing of just paying people to basically get it for her really lowered my opinion of her. -SmellThisMilk

19. Such a nice move...for a man.

He told me on the first date, "you have such a witty sense of humour!......for a girl." -somduttamazumder

20. Thanks, Mom.

Table manners: you might spend years, across the table, from someone chewing - - like the sounds of someone marching through mud. -DEAR7340

21. Taking it step by Stepford.

After getting to know him a little bit I found out he wanted a modern version of a 1950s housewife.

We got on the topic of kids for whatever reason. He said he excepted his future wife to do all the childcare, and all the housework, and all the cooking. -​​​​​​nannylittle

22. Constructive criticism.

When I was 13 I made him a poem (yeah, I know, cringy) and put it in his backpack.

Next day he gave it back to me, graded and made corrections on my spelling and a little note saying "I wont tell anyone, just work on your spelling next time".

Like hell I will give him another one!

He gave an 8, tho. -9106-17

23. Fake news.

He thinks that COVID-19 is a Democratic hoax. -angel_dust_bunny

Many people are in denial of the fact that the coronavirus pandemic is still raging as states begin to loosen their social distancing guidelines. Large public gatherings are breaking out all over in the nice weather, contagion be damned.

With crowds partying like there's no pandemic, a bride couldn't comprehend that her friend was willing to risk her health (and the health of those around her) by attending a wedding, and the result is a wild, profanity-laden text.

IceQueen2288 posted this screenshot to the Wedding Shaming subreddit with the headline, "I can’t believe you’re afraid of Covid, what about my wedding?" It features a Bridezilla at their most dangerous.

The comments were appropriately savage. The bride was *this close* to saying "A RIDE OR DIE FRIEND WOULD DIE!!!"

"With that attitude, I don't think her wedding will be a once in lifetime event," redghostplanet quipped.

On the other hand, as potatoish-pooh said, "You can't have other events when you are dead, so her 'once in a life time event' might be accurate."

She certainly sounds like a good, understanding, and selfless friend you wouldn't want to lose.

Congratulations to the happy couple on their future quarantine together.

We've all got different tastes when it comes to food, but some people's preferences can be a little out-there.

A recent Reddit thread asked people to share the "greatest food sins" they've seen someone commit. These gag-worthy flavor combinations will make your last meal seem like haute cuisine.

1. Call the police.

Putting mayonnaise in orange juice - SirMinecrafter

2. A little spice is good, but this is ridiculous.

No matter what it is, my dad will put chili sauce on food. I hate it. Whether it's chili flavoured tomato sauce or Olson old spicy sauce hell drown out the flavour of the original food and I can smell it from across the table.

It ruins food. He needs to stop.

Dad, if you're somehow seeing this, you need to stop we can smell it from across the table seriously - HangryHufflepuff1

3. This sister must be stopped.

My sister eats green bell peppers filled with whipped cream. I have insisted from the very beginning that it's cursed and gross and wrong and she just doesn't care. She's eaten them since she was maybe 7 or 8. I even tried it earlier this year just so she couldn't say "well you haven't tried it," and it's still gross!

It tastes like you're having salad and dessert at the same time, it's like listening to music in stereo where one ear is playing Bohemian Rhapsody and the other ear is playing Pop Candy. It's just awful and she keeps doing it. Every time I hear the pshhht of the whipped cream can I just know she's filling up another green pepper. :( Her food disaster is my cross to bear. - StrawberryR

4. How are his arteries these days?

My stepdad would sit down and watch TV and eat a block of cream cheese like a goddamn candy bar. Like sitting there holding it with the wrapper, eating it bite by bite, sometimes accompanied with saltines or something. I watched him finish several blocks of cream cheese that way in the time I lived with him and my mom. - UYScutiPuffJr

5. Sweet and savory can be a great combo, but this is just wrong.

Not me, but my parents once met someone who made crepes, and then put only ketchup on it. just ketchup. Why? - Qj94255

6. Offensive to all sandwiches that have gone without mayo.

Mayonnaise straight out of the tub. Spoon by spoon. A giant tub. Those baby sized ones. As in the size of an actuall human child. I nearly puked - Swimminginsarcasm

7. A lot of people destroy their meat this way.

I was a kid. Went to Disney World with my family. We ate at Wolfgang Pucks. I ordered a tuna steak and made them cook it through. That tuna died in vain for my stupid, immature taste buds. - obsessedwithguitars

8. Is your fencing club located in hell?

Everyone at my fencing club drinks "Creamsicle juice". It's orange juice and milk mixed together. It curdles into a thin liquid with chunky bits of curdled milk floating in it like some demonic cereal. And big surprise, it doesn't taste like a creamsicle! - raccoonTowel

9. Bet they had amazing breath.

I once watched someone eat an onion like an apple - salsicha108

10. Sounds... wet.

My sister poured her juice box over her Mac and cheese and ate the whole thing. She was like 4 though. - MrHotdog97461

11. Don't even want to know what this would taste like.

I know someone who sugars their eggs. - vengefulmuffins

12. Ah, the preferred meal of latchkey kids everywhere.

I’ll admit it. I never toast or warm my Poptarts. I eat them right out of the bag. - gaylonelymillennial

13. This flavor combination is hard to even imagine.

This girl I used to talk to put cheddar cheese on peanut butter sandwiches - CompletelyIncomplete3

14. Just why?

Personally the worst thing I've done is put Coca Cola in a cup of coffee. - Someidiot233

15. A festival of carbs.

Putting a donut in between two slices of bread. - kalasnaps

16. This person doesn't deserve pizza.

My friend eats pizza with a fork and uses it to dip it in ketchup. It’s f****** digusting - GrootTheTree

17. Is ranch really that good?

My gf adds ranch to all sorts of s***. Mostly pizza but I lost it when she drowned a hot dog in it - DangerouslyAnonymys

18. The ranch crimes continue...

I had a room mate who did this. Pizza, Pasta, anything with bread. Instant Ramen with ranch was a regular occurence. He especially loved mangoes dipped in ranch. The way he acted, that was an extreme delicacy. - lizzpop2003

19. Wild choice.

I witnessed my brother dip a banana into a jar of pizza sauce. To this day I still refuse to eat his cooking, I don't trust his tastebuds. - SquilliamFancySon95

20. Not sure if the salt makes this better or worse.

I once saw someone put ice cream on a hotdog.

And that's not all! He added salt - ALEXISGREATFTW

21. Is your friend a raccoon?

At a Halloween event with a couple friends. We all get some caramel apples while we're waiting in line. Friend 1 gets to the center of her caramel apple, then without even stopping, proceeds to eat the apple core, right down to the stick it was on. She could not fathom why friend 2 and I looked at her in horror.

I once also watched her eat a bunch of shrimp tails. - ScottFisher9

22. And finally, the grossest for last: a tuna and jelly sandwich.

I have a peanut allergy, so as a kid I was never able to have a pb&j. I did, however, really like tuna. Do you see where I'm going with this?

One time, as a kid, when I had a babysitter, I came up with the idea of the beautiful, unholy tf&j, and requested it. She gave me "the look" and asked if that's what my parents gave me, and I said yes. Y'know, like a liar.

She made it. I consumed it.

I loved it.

I still eat it, actually. I've even managed to convince my dad and a couple friends to try it after much trepidation on their end, but the ones who liked tuna actually said it was good and the ones who didn't just thought it was fine.

Whenever people hear about it for the first time, they freak the f*** out and I live for it. I am the proud keeper of this cursed artifact.

This is what god gets for nerfing me with an allergy. Go forth and spread my vengeance, if ye be brave enough to take the sweet, fishy plunge. - throwaway-in-general