Congratulations on your only remaining hurdle to gay marriage being your incredibly homophobic state.
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I hope me changing my avatar to support gay marriage will suffice as your wedding gift.
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Here's to the Supreme Court on somehow finding a way to make the Gay Pride Parade even more festive.
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If you want to get gay married, you may want to start by changing your red equality avatar back to a cock shot.
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The 8 best things ever drawn on people who fell asleep in the sun.
Sir, that's physically impossible.
The victims of these painful pranks have learned three valuable lessons: apply your own sunscreen, don't pass out on the beach, and find new friends. Laugh at them all you want, but let their crimson marks of shame serve as a solemn reminder that you're only three pina coladas and one giggling douchebag away from waking up to your own dermatological nightmare.
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Sorry I assumed you were gay based on your exuberant support of gay marriage.
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Thanks for supporting gay marriage even if it just consists of you imagining two brides kissing.
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Let's make out like gay teens at Bible camp.
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I've put more effort into supporting gay marriage this week than I have into my marriage this decade.
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I don't want to hear you complain about the heat unless you are planning to take off all your clothes.
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11 guys who shouldn't be shirtless on a hot summer day or at any other moment of their lives.
If there's one thing we've learned from all the rippling mounds of pasty flesh we see at the beach every summer, it's that for every ab-flexing meathead who looks like an extra from Magic Mike, there are approximately 250,000 guys who deserve to be filmed from the neck down for a news segment on morbid obesity. Here are 11 of the most egregious examples we could find. Now if you'll excuse us, we have to put together our new calendar, Fat Shirtless Sex Gods Of Summer.
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It's good there's not a law against food porn because you'd be in jail.
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Our deepest sympathies to Aaron Hernandez's fellow prison inmates on not getting someone as pretty as Tom Brady.
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The most insane, disturbing, and/or perverted sand castles ever built.
All the real women on the beach asked him to stop staring, so he had no choice but to build his own.
Your days of getting by using a plastic bucket and shovel to make a sand castle are over. Nowadays no one wants to see your sand creation unless it looks like you spent four years studying at RISD, learning how to shape your sand piles into perfectly designed, often terrifying, and occasionally really perverted sculptures that pretty much have no place on the same beach where children come to enjoy themselves. Before you head away on vacation, enjoy this collection of sand castle artistry and remember, if you see someone who looks like they're really good at sand sculpture, they're probably demented and you should move to the other side of the beach immediately.
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5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today — June 27, 2013
Someone's getting money, someone's calming tensions, and someone's almost dead (OK, the last one is Nelson Mandela) and more in 5 Things You Should at Least Pretend to Know Today.
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I'd rather make new friends than help you move.
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Let's all pretend we're shocked that a professional football player committed sociopathic violence.
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Sorry that it costs more money to move your possessions than they're actually worth.
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Best of luck not getting murdered by the roommate you found on Craigslist.
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Your wedding better be gay as hell if I'm going to waste one of my summer weekends attending it.
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More Pages to Explore .....
