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Relax and enjoy two fat bunnies adorably slurping up pieces of watermelon.

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Treat yourself.

You've had a long day. Sure, it might not have been as bad of a Monday as these people had, but at times you probably felt like you were surfing a dead whale carcass in a sea of sharks. The Internet was full of things that frightened and mystified you, and there were way too many spiders. It's time to get under a Snuggie, put your feet up, and settle in to watch some badass bunnies slurp their way through a plate of watermelon. Tomorrow is another day. Sleep tight. 

(by Shira Rachel Danan)


Well-liked.

A whole bunch of couples who got matching tattoos they hopefully won't one day regret.

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I love you like a deer with one eye loves its human hands. (Via)

We're not cynical about love. We're realistic. Love isn't permanent. It should be allowed to grow, to change, and yes, even to die. The minute you try to pin love down with a matching tattoo of half a heart on your and your lover's left buttock, love senses you're taking it for granted and it starts planning its escape. These couples ignore that love often fades far more quickly than ink. Hopefully they're the lucky ones who will never have to laser off evidence of a bad breakup. If you're still thinking of getting a couples tattoo, you might get some good ideas from this list, but we implore you to please check the current divorce statistics before you and your beloved go under the needle.


We will remember getting tatted up... (Via)

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"
Eventually they'll need a third person to "recharge the batteries." (Via)

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Is that a dig about my credit debt? (Via)

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When they breakup they could easily correct this to a flatline. (Via)

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No one understands our love. (Seriously though, wtf language is this? Please put in the comments if you know.) (Via)

Updated 7/18/14:


We wanted to express our love in a way only our dentist could see. (Via)

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Just because you're in love doesn't mean you shouldn't look pissed off in photographs.(Via)

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Their ink is their Link.(Via)

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If it goes south, she could ink "Bridges" on her pinky and say she's a fan. He could maybe add a T to his middle finger and say he just loves cats?(Via)

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Clavicle closeness.(Via)

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Oh fuck yeah!(Via)

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Updated 5/16/14:


That's their anniversary date. Because Google Calendar just can't be trusted.
(Via Tattoo Models.net)



If they switch to polyamory they can just replace them with tats of those 8-person novelty bikes. (Via)



Hopefully Han and Leia look better in episode 7.(Via)

 


Awwww. Ship and lighthouse. They must be from New England. (Via)



Hopefully they made the tattoo artist scream like a samurai every time the needle cut their skin.(Via)


Updated February 28.2014:


They did it for Valentine's Day. Who needs chocolate when you have scalp Legos? (Via)



If only the text on the lock read "Longlegs."(Via)

 


Another Valentine's Day one. Hey, whatever's most important to your relationship.(Via)

 


When he wants to break up, he'll get "SS" inked on his other arm. (Via)

 

They bonded over their shared love of bowel movements. (Via)

 

Updated 1/20/14:


Yeah, it's a good bet that you two don't really need the tats to let folks know. (Via)

 


Together, we are the very notion of imprisonment. (Via)

 


Aw. Way sweeter than the couple's "Buffalo Soldier" tattoo.(Via)

 


Salt and pepper. Not a pair of condoms with the intials "S" and "P." Get it right. (Via)
 

 

Updated 10/24/13:


Hastily. They love hastily. (via)

 


Whoah! Do you love each other or 70's prog rock album cover design? (via)

 


At least when they break up people will find the design too busy to try and figure out. (via)

 


Okay, probably not romantically involved. But who knows? When in Pensacola... (via)

 


Before you hit infinity, stop at a hospital to try and fend off infection. (via)

 


Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! (via)

 

Updated 9/25/13:


The Reddit post for this one read "Was Drunk, met a girl, matching tattoos." YES!!! (Via)

 


They always end up cheating with the guy with the Goofy tat. (Via)

 


This is hotter than porn. (Via)

 


Angels and cowboys is a thing? Kind of wonder if these two had matching tats with other people. (Via)

 


Awww. She probably gets pissed when Luigi stays over for like a week around the holidays. (Via)

 


Our love will last as long as a fleeting meme and yeah we broke up already. (Via)

 


There's romance and there's gore. Somwhere in between, you have really gross love.

 


Well what are you stupid birds waiting for? Home's right there!

 


We're bananas for each other? He's the Velvet Underground to her Niko? They're monkeys?

 


Together, our thighs make a really good religious bumper sticker.

 


Long distance lovers...of phallic architecture.

 


They must have really nerdy fights.

 


He wanted to pick the Swayze movie quote, but "I'm his regular Saturday night thing" wouldn't fit on her finger.

 


They almost broke up arguing over who has to live with the pit.

 


We'd like a design that shows our commitment to both of us dying of alcohol poisoning.

 


When we hold each other in exactly this position, we're in love. At all other times, we're a mess.

 


It's an inside joke. On their first date he threw up in her mouth.

 


Apparently, that way is somewhere around the shin area.

 


His last girlfriend had a tattoo that read, "Bed, Bath."

 


We feel a deep connection at a spiritual level and if you don't like it we'll smack you with double face-punch of intimacy.

 


"Her" and "Him?" Can you be less specific? Weakest show of commitment in a couple's tattoo ever inked!

 


They are way into doggystyle.

 


You're just running around in circles. Make up your minds!

 


Real sweet until he comes home and finds her in bed with a locksmith.

And now here's '10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Jew.'

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Can't ask a nice guy ask another guy about his faith no more?

Once 10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman swept through the Internet, the parody videos were an inevitability. Hot on its heels was 10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Man, which similarly took the Facebooks by storm. And now, for a more regional twist, former someecards staffer and Running Late host Scott Rogowsky stars in "10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Jew."

If you're not from around these parts, it's a common occurrence in New York for Jewish men—or men who just kind of look Jewish—to be approached by Hasidic Jews with the question, "Excuse me, are you Jewish?" I'm told a "yes" answer leads to a discussion that extols the benefits of following all the commandments of the Jewish bible. As an Irish Catholic, while I've been approached many times, a simple "no" allows me to go on my merry way.  

Scott, in this video, isn't quite so lucky.

Well done. Now let's let this be the end of the "walking in NYC" parody videos. Please don't turn this into another "Shit Girls Say" parody virus. I can already hear a rumbling at the UCB Theater as improv teams argue over "what the one guy should do for five minutes" in their version.

(by Bob Powers)

Spotify

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Don't blow it.

Power couple.


Why "Alex from Target" is trending on Twitter, and what it means for the future of fame.

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So dreamy. (Via Twitter)

Twitter hashtag #alexfromtarget has beat out hot topics like #nationalsandwichday and #LenaDunham because, and I'm not making this up, there is a kid who works at Target, and his name is Alex. 


"Hi. I'm Alex. From Target. I had nothing to do with this."

Legend has it that a girl who visited his Target chain became entranced by his fluffy hair and breathtaking beauty, and snapped the above photo while he was bagging her items. Then, someone else got a hold of that picture (How? Why? We don't know!) and tweeted his picture out to her followers Sunday with the sentiment, "YOOOOOOOOOO."

Then, somehow, he became famous. Teen Twitter took hold of his beaming visage like a lighthouse in the storm of puberty. His boy band beauty shone over the rocky shores of teen desperation as the youthful masses sought out his non-threatening love. Through sheer Internet craftiness and desperation, millions of teens jumped on the Alex From Target bandwagon as they found his personal twitter account, which in one night amassed over 350K followers. 

Bewildered by the unsolicited attention, Alex from Target looked to the void of cyberspace for an answer as to what happened to him.

He received thousands of responses, from "yeah" to "no" to "ur hawt."

There's your answer kid: you're a star. 

He became a meme overnight, and things like this began to happen:

And parodies began to take hold. 

And Hollywood (a comedian in NYC) began to pen to the Alex From Target movie.

Once the teens got to digging around about Alex Christopher LaBeouf (AKA Alex from Target), they found the object of their affection already had a girlfriend, and they became pissed. Alex's girlfriend, Lindsay, began receiving death threats. Actual death threats.

Ummmm, what?! 

Obsession! Over a random kid in Texas who looks good in red! 

It used to be you had to make a sex tape to become famous for doing nothing. Now, you literally just have to do nothing to become famous for doing nothing. Although, clearly, there are thousands of horny teenage girls who would love to get their hands on his sex tape.

The kid, who was doing nothing but trying to earn an hourly wage at a retail store, lost every shred of privacy, autonomy, and the security of his girlfriend, all overnight. And from out of seemingly nowhere. 

And now, even the store where his normalcy was stolen from him, Target, wants to jump this kid's bones.  

What the hell is going on? 

The original poster tweeted again today, at 2:59pm, before hiding her account for good. Her last tweet was: "What the fuck have I done."

(by Myka Fox)

Republican Party

VOTE.

8-year-old receives a bag of meth while trick-or-treating.

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They ran out of candy so they passed out some Sweet 'n' High. (Via NBC)

An 8-year-old girl in Hercules, California brought home a bag of meth after trick-or-treating this year.

According to the Contra Costa Times, her father inspected her candy haul after she went to bed and found a small pink ziplock bag that contained a white powder. Aware that neighbors probably weren't just passing out ziplocks of sugar when they ran out of candy, the father contacted police to test the bag for drugs.

Turns out, it was .1 gram of methamphetamine.

No one seems to suspect the little girl of being a budding tweaker who cleverly stashed her crank. Rather, police are assuming it was handed to her while she mugged the neighborhood for candy.

"This could have been intentional or it could have been accidental and we won't know until we speak with the person who did this," Hercules police Sgt. Ezra Tafesse told the Times, adding that there is currently no suspect.

Unless they get a full meth-rant confession, there's no way they will prove this was intentional. I'm not a police officer, but this is how I believe this went down: whoever gave that child a bag of meth did so accidentally. Meth heads make mistakes! The person did a bunch of meth, lost track of where they put it, and accidentally gave it to a kid when they were surprised by the doorbell. There were no other children who got drugs in their plastic pumpkins, and the bag that the kid did get was mostly empty. Yes, a tenth of a gram is enough for a felony possession charge but, come on, look at that bag. It's almost empty. It's hardly enough to get anyone high. (Unless you are a tiny 8-year-old. Then, maybe.)

Without fingerprints, the only chance they have of catching whoever did this is if the guilty party makes another mistake, and calls his or her neighbors asking if anyone has seen where they've misplaced their meth. Which could happen. Addicts love involving the wrong people in their meth problems. 

(by Myka Fox)

Democratic Party

Voting booth

What counts.


Dude seeks girl with his ex-girlfriend's name to travel the world.

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This could be us, but you aren't Elizabeth Gallagher. (Via Facebook)

Are you an Elizabeth Gallagher from Canada? Today could be your lucky day!

Some dude in Toronto bought a trip around the world with his girlfriend and then they broke up. Now he is willing to give the tickets away. He's not going to go through the trouble of changing the name on the ticket, so if you have his ex's name and aren't his ex, and don't mind traveling with a dude who just broke up with someone who has your exact name, the tickets are yours!

Like a lot of single men, ticket holder Jordan Axani went to reddit to solve his problems. It was there that he posted this:

"I need your help. You see, in March I booked a fairly wicked trip around the world for this Christmas for my ex and I. While our relationship has come to a close, I am still planning on going on the trip and she is not (naturally). And because I hate the idea of a ticket around the world going to waste, I am looking for a Canadian named Elizabeth Gallagher who could use the ticket." 

And here's where you, Elizabeth Gallagher, would get to go!


Only one night in Paris. Make it count, Elizabeth Gallagher! (Via Reddit)

That's a lot of traveling with a stranger, but fear not, Axani claims he is not looking for a new girlfriend with the same name as his ex, he has just been "lucky in life" and is "giving back to the universe." That is, if the universe consisted only of girls named Elizabeth Gallagher. 

So, you say your name is Elizabeth Gallagher and you're ready to go on the doomed relationship trip of a lifetime? Not so fast, lottery winner. You still must meet some of his other guidelines:

1. Be sane, smart and (hopefully) interesting.
2. Have always wanted to travel, but maybe haven't had the opportunity or cash to see much of the world.
3. Be named Elizabeth Gallagher and have a Canadian passport.
4. Be ready for a rather spontaneous life experience that will, one day, be an epic story that you'll tell your kids. 

Got that? Ok. You should also know that this trip does not include hotel accommodations or anything other than the plane tickets and the first glass of wine at JFK. "You're on your own, bucko."

And hurry up, because Axani says that since this post has gone viral, he has already been contacted by a bunch of Elizabeth Gallaghers ready to show their passports. 

The cynical side of me assumed this was all just a stunt to humiliate his ex, but Axani added an edit to his post declaring the opposite, asking the masses to "please respect the privacy of the real Elizabeth Gallagher and let's keep this light and fun. Remember that this is a feel good story, and let's stay focused on that."

On that note, here is a picture of Axani "feeling good."


His friend says this was probably from when she had to "steer him away from walking into parked cars." (Via Facebook)

Ok, Elizabeth Gallagher, if you want to get going on the adventure of Elizabeth Gallagher's lifetime, email Jordan at jaxani@gmail.com. 

Have a great trip!

(by Myka Fox)

This guy turned his boring life into a cartoon with some ink and a transparent sheet.

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Orange you glad I didn't spoil the cameo?

Marty Cooper, aka Hombre_McSteez, is an animator living in LA who has made a name for himself by superimposing cartoons over daily life, turning the banal into the whimsical with simple cel illustrations. His doodled imaginings do everything from make parking lots look magical to ensuring you never see cream in your coffee the same way. Plus, there's a special guest appearance from Chewbacca, and also Adam Savage from Mythbusters.

After you check out Cooper's YouTube channel, check out this other artist who superimposed doodles over other passengers on his train commute:


Article: One artist found an amazing way to pass time while riding the train.  

(by Johnny McNulty)

Done talking.

This moving version of the national anthem from Monday Night Football brought an NFL player to tears.

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Are you ready for some weeping?

It's not unheard of for a grown man to cry at a football stadium. But when it happens, it's usually after a horrific injury or a gambling loss. Before the Giants played the Colts on Monday Night Football, jazz trumpeter Chris Botti played a version of the 'Star Spangled Banner' that was so moving, it sent chills through Metlife Stadium and brought tears to the eyes of at least one player.


this is very goodby dm_520cd98243c9e

Right at the "Oh say does that star spangled banner" part of the song, the camera caught Colts wide receiver Reggie Wayne with a tear streaming down his cheek as he swayed side to side, visibly touched by the performance. While it's not exactly the pre-game "eye of the tiger" that NFL coaches are looking for from their players, it was a pretty sweet moment for an patriotic American.


Touching the receiver.

Wayne's emotions didn't seem to affect his performance, as the six-time Pro Bowl player caught 4 passes for 70 yards and one touchdown. On top of that, his team won the game 40-24, which probably had thousands of Giants fans crying like babies.

(by Jonathan Corbett)

American CNBC host interviewing Irish guy clearly knows nothing about Ireland.

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What's an Ireland?

A CNBC interview with the new chief executive of IDA Ireland, which encourages direct foreign investment in Ireland, went horribly wrong yesterday when an American host refused to believe that Ireland uses the Euro. 

The madness starts at 6:55:

Joe Kernen, a co-anchor on the program Squawk Box, kept insisting to interviewee Martin Shanahan that it was a huge mistake for Ireland to use the euro when they could be using the pound. Because if there's one thing Irish people love, it's when people ask them why they wouldn't just want to be under English rule again. Kernen was absolutely mystified by the revelation that Northern Ireland is part of the UK, and Ireland is a separate country. "That's just too confusing," he said. Kernen's information about Ireland all seemed to be based on a golfing trip he once took to Scotland (not technically part of Ireland, though they are close by).

Meanwhile, Shanahan tries not to look too embarrassed for Kernen, even though he is probably also annoyed that someone interviewing him about his country's economy couldn't be bothered to google its currency. Looks like if Shanahan wants Americans to invest in Ireland, he's going to have to start by explaining what Ireland is. 

Here's how it went down:

Kernen: You have pounds anyway, don't you still?

Shanahan: We have euros

Kernen: You have euros in Ireland??

Shanahan: We have euros, yes, which has—

Kernen: Why do you have euros in Ireland?

Shanahan: Why wouldn't we have euros in Ireland.

Kernen: Huh? I'd use the pound.

Shanahan: No. We've had the euro for some time and we're very happy with it.

Kernen: What about Scotland? I was using Scottish, uh—

Shanahan: Scottish pounds? Yeah, so they use sterling.

Kernen: They use sterling?

Shanahan: They use sterling. But we use euro.

Kernen:(mind has just been blown) What?! Why would you do that?

And it only gets worse from there. Would have expected more from a program called Squawk Box.

(by Shira Rachel Danan)

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