I bet you're thinking about every game you threw out right now that could be worth a fortune, aren't you?

Somewhere out there is a kid who screamed in the store that he NEEDED this game.
His mom called him a spoiled brat and made him go home. Stupid mom.

When it comes to rare, expensive video games, the North American version of Bandai's Stadium Events is a regular contender for the gold medal. Only about 200 copies are known to exist, and the last time a factory-sealed version was up for auction, it went for $41,300 and shattered the previous record for the most expensive video game ($20,100 for a copy of Nintendo Campus Challenge 1991*). It's so rare because after Bandai made it, Nintendo bought the intellectual property (which included a special controller which would later be released as the Nintendo Power Pad) and re-released the game as World Class Track Meet.

The previous champion—Nintendo Campus Challenge 1991*. Only $20,100.

History is happening today. Nerdy, nerdy history.

Now, the collectible video game world has been sent into a tizzy (it's not a big world, so tizzies spread rapidly) by the revelation that another factory-sealed copy not only exists, but is up for auction right now on eBay.

This is the ancestor of Wii Sports...which everyone owns and is therefore worthless.

As of press time, the highest bid is listed at $32,252.00. There was an earlier bid of $100,000, but since that turned out to (probably) be fraudulent, the auction has since been limited to verified bidders.

In 3rd and 4th places, Nintendo World Championships Gold ($18,000) and Gray ($5,500).

Remember: Always take home anything your company throws out.

So, who is this mystery seller who's about to pick up an extra year's income? According to Gamespot, who landed an interview the seller, eBay user menaceone, it's a former Nintendo employee who worked there for 22 years. Apparently, Nintendo gives away games to employees at the end of their life cycles. Whether that's when they release a new system or just stop making the game is unclear, but basically instead of cleaning out the office fridge at the end of the month, Nintendo takes old games and puts them in a bin for employees. This turned out to be quite profitable for one employee, although it took him 20 years to realize it:

I did not realize the value until 2011, when a story came out about this game being sold on eBay for $44,000. I told my wife 'I know I have that game.' I collect a lot of different items, so after looking through several boxes I found it! Since I was still working for Nintendo I could not sell this item for profit, which is a smart company policy. When I left in 2012, it was possible for me to sell this game.

He also told Gamespot that if Nintendo wants it for their archives, they're welcome to bid on it.

The sale doesn't end until 10pm EST, so if you want this thing and have a few cars' worth of cash to throw around, head over to eBay. Or, just check back in throughout the day, because this thing may well beat the previous $41,300 record.

*Hello! I see you've followed the asterisk down to the nerd corner! Nintendo Campus Challenge 1991 is the rarest actual game in existence, however it was never a game available in stores. It's a cartridge with 3 games on it (Super Mario Bros. 3, Pin-Bot, and Dr. Mario), which Nintendo used to conduct a nation-wide contest at colleges to crown a national video game champion. They were supposed to all be destroyed after the competition, but an employee saved one and now it will always be the rarest video game until someone throws it into Mt. Doom. Check out Pricecharting for a full list of rare video games.

Taking selfies with strange dudes at the gym is not how you defend yourself against accusations that you are a closeted "Scientologist," but that's what redditor jnitsuj claims happened when he was alone at the gym at 3am.

Just two dudes chilling at the gym alone at 3am. (via Imgur)

According jnitsuj's post, he "thought he was alone at the gym by myself at 3am," but then "this guy comes up to me and introduces himself."

This guy, of course, is famous "non-gay" Scientologist John Travolta. And to be clear, John Travolta came up to the totally not-famous dude, and not the other way around. And, why not?

He clearly has a lot in common with jnitsuj, like being one of only two men alone at the gym at 3am.

Jnitsuj, the only other person at the gym with John Travolta, has some deleted comments, but another redditor posted that in the comments that jnitsuj "had said that John approached him and asked if he was married, if he had kids, what he did in his spare time, and then started talking about his private jets. He said they talked for a while."

You know, things like, how attached are you to your family? Would you leave them for a celebrity with a private jet? Will you help me stretch my hammy?

At the very least, refrain from doing it on national television.

And... Plinko!

You probably don't need to be instructed not to jog backwards on a treadmill, particularly if you're also speaking into a microphone and reading copy in front of a studio audience. That's the kind of thing that's generally considered instinctive.

But just in case, the above example helpfully provided by Price Is Right announcer George Gray should serve as an adequate refresher.

Watch this human with a dog's head totally get infantilized by the stylist while getting his hair cut.

Melissa Nil says in her description that "This is a video of my poodle mix, Jackie getting a haircut in a barber shop exactly like a human!"

As though we are going to believe that this is a dog sitting like a human, and not a human with a dog's head. Nice try, Melissa, nice try.

If this elderly driver had "destroy a car wash" or "star in a viral video" on his bucket list, they can both be scratched off.

"Bye! Don't come again!"

The folks at Quick Quack Car Wash in Sacramento seem nice. Not only do they provide a quality, affordable wash using 100% recycled water and environmentally friendly soaps, if you accidentally step on the gas peddle instead of the brake and plow through the wash going 30 mph, instead of freaking out and suing you, they'll set the video to music and make you the star of their new viral marketing campaign.

That's how they responded after an elderly driver blew past the young lady waving him off, through thousands of dollars worth of brushes and gear, and into the parking lot fence.

No one was harmed during the commercial's "production." And Quick Quack was back up and running two days later.

Hopefully, the 94-year-old driver is enjoying his viral fame from the comfort of his home. And his Oldsmobile is parked in the garage.

Her day's eats will make you feel both better and worse about yourself.

Yeah but when do you eat meals?(via)

Kara Rosen, founder of juice company Plenish, published her "My day on a plate" in the Telegraph yesterday. It went viral after it was tweeted out by Anita Singh, a Telegraph editor.

Have a Twix, love pic.twitter.com/fGWoHLcP98

— Anita Singh (@anitathetweeter) January 13, 2015

Rosen's someone for whom an "almond-milk cappuccino" is a weekend treat, and rice cakes count as "something carby." Her ridiculously ambitious schedule starts at 6am with "hot water and lemon" and ends at 9pm with "ginger tea with a squeeze of lemon." Even the Telegraph's nutritionist seems to think Rosen needs more fuel.

Is she binge eating brownies between 9pm and 6am?

I feel lighter just reading about how little food she actually ingests, but oddly also started craving macaroni and cheese. With a squeeze of lemon, obvi.

Singh's sentiment that Rosen needs to eat a Twix resonated with people, and soon they were sharing their own "days on plates":

My Day on a Plate. pic.twitter.com/D7YFR86wvN

— JamieDMJ (@JamieDMJ) January 14, 2015

I know that you must be wondering what my "Day on a plate" looks like: pic.twitter.com/Df4cmf0Lfo

— Gaz Weetman (@GazWeetman) January 14, 2015

Cool, they finally printed my day on a plate. pic.twitter.com/d2fFuLnfUt

— Steve Hogarty (@misterbrilliant) January 14, 2015

My day on a plate: 5am - Wake up & check emails 6am - 10K run 7am - Yoga and a green smoothie 9am - KFC double 10am - Cup of ghee 11am - Bed

— Adam Liaw (@adamliaw) January 14, 2015

My "day on a plate" pic.twitter.com/QjMH5JvRDv

— Craig Deeley (@craiguito) January 14, 2015

Day On a Plate 7am Porridge Banana Shed load of Golden Syrup 9am 2 Twix 11am Cake 1pm Sarnies 3pm Cake 6pm Curry 9pm Cake 11pm More cake

— Julie D Irwin (@JDIrwinbooks) January 14, 2015

My Day on a Plate….@anitathetweeterpic.twitter.com/VsHNkGFqin

— Dave Jones (@WelshGasDoc) January 13, 2015

In the silliest-sounding country on Earth, there is one town that even other Swedes think sounds funny.

The city of Umeå is located in northern Sweden, which is a country located in northern Earth. Umeå is 250 miles south of the Arctic Circle. This may be why they've chosen to stop saying one of the most common words in Swedish, ja, which means "yes," in favor of just making a little *whiff* sound with their mouths. Is it just so cold there that they'd rather not open their nice warm mouths all the way for something as minor as answering in the affirmative to someone asking, "Cold enough for you?" Yes. I believe the answer is yes. I'd say this makes them sound silly, but this is Sweden, a nation of Viking-descended good-governance addicts who hand out Nobel Prizes every year and all speak casual English to boot, none of whom will never be taken seriously again thanks to a certain Muppet who tosses out "snorgyborgy" sounds as haphazardly as he throws ingredients. That's why they love death metal so much—it's just to avoid sounding like a children's puppet.

Apparently, that earwormy Rembrandts song was actually kind of key to this opening credits sequence.

Much less danceable, for some reason.

Seeing this very awkward alternative version of the Friends opening credit sequence without the jangly chords of the Rembrandts' "I'll Be There For You" playing over it kind of gets you thinking, doesn't it?

How would other classic elements of television history been changed with only the most minuscule of alterations? Like, what if M.A.S.H. had been set during the French and Indian War instead of the Korean War? Or if Knight Rider had been about an office with a non-artificially intelligent station wagon? Or if Seinfeld had literally been about nothing and was just a half hour of static and white noise with intermittent jazz bass guitar punctuations?

Would any of these shows have been nearly as popular and acclaimed? We'll never no for sure.

Last night on Empire, during what seemed to be a grave conversation about a character's fast-eroding mental health, a bold new addition was introduced to the world of network television: The Blow Job Bib

Just let me imbue this fellatio with a little childlike wonder.

If you were one of the millions who tuned in to last week's premiere of Lee Daniels' new one-hour hip hop soap opera Empire, you probably reacted the way most people did, with a shocked and plaintive "Holy crap, this might not suck!" The premise of Terrence Howard as drug-dealer-turned-rap-mega-mogul Lucious Lyon engaged in corporate warfare against his ex-wife and sons for control of his label seemed destined to be campy at best, and at worst, cancelled by February.

Instead, what the premiere seemed to promise was a hip hop version of Dynasty, with strong characters, amped up verbal battles, and Timbaland supervising a soundtrack that at least wasn't entirely embarrassing. Everything seemed on track.

Then came episode 2, "The Outspoken King."

About ten minutes in, we're settling into what appears to be the morning routine of Lucious's son Andre and his wife, Rhonda. Andre is recording for himself a series of voice memos hammering down his schedule for the day. Rhonda listens in, and becomes concerned.

Oh no. It turns out poor Andre is bipolar. This could be serious. He's not going to the doctor, not taking his meds. How does a wife deal with a bipolar husband who's refusing pharmacological treatment like this?

In the world of Empire, she ties a baby bib around her neck and goes down on him in the kitchen.

Does this technique work? Pssh, yeah. Rhonda barely even gets Andre's pants open before he agrees to return to his doctor.

Leave your co-pay on the bib.

This is how Empire is going to pull away from the pack. We've all seen the pre-work blow job device. With the addition of the Blow Bib, not only do you have an icebreaker at the watercooler, you've got yourself a hell of a merchandising opportunity.

Available wherever baby-themed fellatio wear is sold in your neighborhood.

So many questions, Empire. Let's knock em all out real fast.

Does Rhonda keep her blow bib in the kitchen island drawer because she's a girl on the go and her morning, take-your-meds fellatio routine always happens when the two of them are already dressed and finishing up breakfast? Or, if we inspected Rhonda and Andre's home, would we find a baby bib stashed away in drawers in every room in the house?

Does it have to be a baby bib? Would a lobster bib suffice? Bubba Gump's let's you keep them.

If things escalate to vaginal, does she tie her "Kiss The Cook" apron around her waist?

For anal do they just throw down a painter's tarp?

Things were already looking like they were heading to camp town before we even got to Rhonda and Andre. We barely made it to the opening titles before Lucious's current lady Anika greeted his ex-wife Cookie dressed like so:

Keepin it casual at La Casa Lucious.

And while last night's episode was overflowing with silliness, they go just far enough over the top to bring me back for episode 3, like this phone call to President Obama after Lucious's son had a video of him calling the president a sellout go viral:

Yasssss. Remember, Barack, the streets ain't made for everybody. That's why they invented sidewalks.

If you don't want your convenience store to get robbed, you don't need a gun behind the counter. You just need someone everybody knows.

Cool, see ya later! (via KMGH)

A man in a blue hoodie, jeans, and a bandana popped into a Quick Stop in Wheat Ridge, Colorado this week, intending to rob the place, and then immediately changed his mind when he recognized the clerk. That's when the would-be robber decided he should have a little chit-chat before making any decisions.

According to the Indy Channel,

"The store clerk said the suspect looked at him and said, "(Expletive), I was going to rob this place but I know you."

The suspect then asked the clerk, "Do you know me?" When the clerk replied he did not recognize the man, the suspect said, "Good" and walked out of the store while giving a "thumbs up" sign to the clerk."

So, at least we know the suspect has thumbs.

A little while later, a nearby 7-11 was robbed by a man with the same description.

That 7-11 should probably hire better-known clerks.

This is what you do when you've been snubbed for an Oscar nomination everyone thought you'd get.

I heard they weren't nominated because the real Oscars are made by Playskool.

The LEGO Movie was one of the few universally liked films of 2014. Many people, it turns out, are really mad that it was not nominated for Best Animated Feature. I mean, people are really, really mad. Not director Philip Lord, however. Philip Lord doesn't get mad. Philip Lord gets crafty.

It's okay. Made my own! pic.twitter.com/kgyu1GRHGR
— philip lord (@philiplord) January 15, 2015

Who was nominated? Big Hero 6, The Boxtrolls, How to Train Your Dragon 2, Song of the Sea, and The Tale of Princess Kaguya. If you've seen all of those, I either wish you congratulations on being a great parent or condolences on being a very lonely adult.

EVERYTHING SUCKS.

It wasn't 100% snubbed. "Everything Is Awesome" was nominated for Best Original Song, but who gives a crap about music? These are MOVIES we're talking about. Clearly, for the viewing public, nominating the song wasn't enough.

#EverythingIsAwkwardpic.twitter.com/898AOwKHTb
— Empire Magazine (@empiremagazine) January 15, 2015

It doesn't help the #OscarsSoWhite problem that not even characters with the same hue as The Simpsons can get a nod. That being said, is there any way a reasonable person can think it's OK that The LEGO Movie didn't get nominated for Best Animated Feature?

I understand that the Lego Movie was good, but it's still a story about licensing rights come to life. #Oscars2015
— Johnny McNulty (@JohnnyMcNulty) January 15, 2015

Jeez, who is that numbskull? Ignore him. The LEGO Movie totally deserves all the Oscars.

A communal cat that survives on the attentions of local residents in Obninsk, Russia returned the favor by saving one of their own.

Underneath this rundown car is our hero cat's version of the Fortress of Solitude. (via)

Masha the long-haired red tabby was found by Irna Lavora meowing in a box. When Irna looked closer, she found that Masha was not alone. She was laying next to a small, well-clothed baby.

"She is very placid and friendly, so when I heard her meowing, I thought that perhaps she had injured herself," Lavora told CEN. "Normally, she would have come and said hello to me. You can imagine my shock when I saw her lying in a box next to a baby. Clearly her mothering instincts had taken over and she wanted to protect the child."

Or, maybe she just wanted in on some of that sweet box action. Cats will go in any box, baby or no.

Just missed his opportunity to be raised by cats. (via)

Nevertheless, the baby was rushed to the hospital where it was determined to be perfectly healthy and had only been in the cold for a couple hours. Despite abandoning him in a box outside in winter, Lavora believs the mother still wanted the baby to be ok.

"He was well-dressed with a little hat, and whoever left him here had even left a few nappies and some baby food."

It's like a baby starter kit. And saying that babies come from boxes in the snow is a lot easier to explain to your kids.

Moar boxes plz. (via)

Now, Masha is getting the hero treatment and the residents are rewarding her with her favorite: food. No word on wether she got to keep the box.

How maniacal would your dance moves in a supermarket be if your identity was hidden inside a giant plastic cow?

The best part is watching everyone nervously try to avoid any contact with the flagellating cow.

Based on the music and the Mexican dairy company our dancing cow is schilling for, Alpura, my best guess is that this is a grocery store in Mexico. And, based on the dancing, an even better guess is that Alpura laces their milk with ecstasy.

One of the few things more embarrassing than accidentally leaving your mom a voicemail recording of you having sex, is having her tell the story on her daytime talk show.

Coleen Nolan, a panelist on the British chat show Loose Woman, told a story recently about being confused by a strange sounding, 4-minute-long voicemail left on her phone. After listening for ten seconds and thinking "What the hell is that," she realized "that" was the sound of her son Shane Junior shagging a bird (or a lad, she didn't specify).

Though, she didn't actually say "shagging," or "screwing." She may be a "loose woman,' but she's still British. The way she put it was that her son "had gone off during his night of passion."

We all know that young people are glued to their phones, but still, how the hell do you butt-dial your mom during sex?

Evidently, Shane Junior doesn't watch his mom's show, and didn't hear about her confession until 4:35 that morning. We know this because that's when he sent out the following tweet:

Why oh why? Ratings.(via)

If you don't want to be sending tweets full of flush-faced emojis, learn to put down your phone for four minutes while you have sex.