Shelby the German Shepherd is so moved by Adam Levine's primal scream in Maroon 5's song "Animals" that she has no choice but to howl along. Or maybe she takes pride in the song's title. Or maybe she's just a big fan. There's no arguing taste with a dog.
Toes for completely unnecessary and gross scale. (via redditor av8or)
The laptop's survival is just the second-craziest part of this story. Redditor av8or, as you might have guessed from his name, flies planes. He claims to be a properly trained South African pilot with a license and everything. We'll just have to take his word for that, since he somehow managed to let the canopy of his small aircraft pop open while he was going 200 km/hr (124 mph) at 1,000ft. When that happened, his backpack (containing his laptop, pilot's license and other important documents), flew out. That's when the hero of this story appeared 1,000 feet below: Malopo
Not Malopo, but Malopo's boss, who's also treating this sky-computer like it's NBD.
(via redditor av8or)
Who is Malopo? "Malopo is the guy who found it," said av8or. Malopo looked av8or up on Facebook from the information in the bag, and then texted him. Well, that's really nice! But that is not the coolest part of Malopo's super-chill story:
"Malopo claimed that he heard a whistling sound and when he looked up he saw a bag hurtling towards him. He took one step to the left and it landed where he was standing."
So av8or almost crushed Malopo, who then was like "Oh, I should get this reckless a-hole his computer back, he might be worried." Malopo is a very nice guy who takes in stride the sort of things that would make me shiver inside for weeks. Things like, you know, deadly projectiles from the air.
That loading bar is a triumph of the digital spirit. Also, I edited more gross toes out of this.
(via redditor av8or)
According to av8or, "The laptop is still functional although the cooling system is damaged and the glass on the trackpad is starting to fall out." Um, that thing fell 1,000 feet from a plane going 125 mph. I think it's working great. The only more impressive still-working piece of technology I've seen is the working Game Boy in the Nintendo store in NYC that survived being bombed in the 1991 Gulf War.
I've seen people lean on computers that were half on/off a desk and do more damage.
(via redditor av8or)
Appropriately, av8or posted these images to reddit's r/TechSupportGore page, where it could be best appreciated. As opposed to r/Aviation, which would probably want an explanation as to how the canopy on his Sports Cruiser aircraft opened mid-air.
Step 1: Fasten canopy. Step 2: Fly plane. Which step did you forget?
(via redditor av8or)
Haha! It didn't just fall off. It was my fault. The mechanism for securing the canopy for flight has an overcentered linkage. I didn't push down hard enough on the lever so the canopy came open mid crosswind. The canopy didn't fly off, just opened a bit.
Ah, it just opened a bit. Totally different. And sure, you almost killed Malopo, but if the canopy had totally fallen off, you might have totally killed Malopo. So, props (pun intended) for only messing up your plane a little bit.
Any luck with the Genius Bar? "I actually took it to my local iStore to try to "trade it in." They didn't think it as funny as I did apparently," writes av8or. Maybe because they value Malopo's life, dude. I think you should keep using it, if only to remind you to secure your damn canopy.
By the way, we haven't even mentioned the real real hero, here: that backpack. If I could get the make and model of anything in this story, it would be that terminal-velocity-proof backpack.
Are you not disappointed?!
When accounts from audience members of today's episode of the Daily Show started drizzling onto the Internet, claiming that Jon Stewart was announcing his retirement from the show, it wasn't exactly easy to dismiss them as baseless rumors, but it was possible. When you really don't want to believe something, your brain has ways of shutting that whole thing down.
However, now that Reginald J. Comedy Central has confirmed Stewart's decision from his own personal Twitter account, it's going to be nigh on impossible to stave off the bad feelings:
Thank you Jon. pic.twitter.com/yPdxjnkuLw
— Comedy Central (@ComedyCentral) February 10, 2015
Obviously, this is brand new terrible news, so details are still sketchy. We won't know exactly when his last show will be, or who is being considered as a replacement, until it has become somewhat older terrible news.
Keep your chin up and remind yourself that this will one day be very, very old terrible news. Maybe by then, the pain will start to subside. In the meantime, remember happier days, when Jon Stewart was but a brand new Daily Show host. Check out his very first episode on January 11, 1999:
It hasn't changed a bit in sixteen years!
Who IS that?(via Instagram)
Being a celebrity is difficult. Lots of people are hot for you and that makes a lot of other people feel like it's their civic duty to say, "Well, I certainly don't think so."
One Instagram user took it upon himself to put Ariana in her place and she smacked him down so hard you can see a hole in the ground that's the same shape as his body:
Does it smell like a sick burn in here?(via Uproxx)
Owie. Well, here is Ariana as a small. She looks like a lovely child who would grow up into a beautiful woman who doesn't take sh*t from no one:
Mini-Grande.(via Instagram)
A UK cyclist's helmet camera caught some pretty spectacular bad driving last week. The driver wasn't just using his cell phone. He wasn't just wearing headphones. He wasn't just looking down at his laptop. He was doing all three at once!
The guy on the bicycle, who uses the YouTube handle Aberdeen Cycle Cam, seems to specialize in reporting bad driving, especially when it puts cyclists at risk. He's the British, cyclist version Batman.
The Telegraphreports that the driver has been found and charged. All in a day's work for Aberdeen Cycle Cam Man!
Valentine's Day is enough to make anybody insecure about their romance skills. But if you're worried about how you're doing, you're already light-years ahead of the people on this list. Only somebody with zero self-awareness could screw up this badly. Here are the 14 worst examples of supposedly romantic gestures we could find:
(via Suggested Post)
(via redditor pulltheleverkronk)
(via redditor ArcMaster)
(via redditor Meowjin)
(via DarrylC)
(via imgur)
(via redditor McJudgerson)
(via College Humor)
(via redditor s123456h)
(via redditor tehjarz)
(via redditor TheReWrite)
(via redditor prometheus2808)
(via redditor Uptightwhitey)
(via redditor sexyvinilaphreshness)
Help me, nurse.(via Tuairisc.ie)
There are strict standards for what can be posted on YouTube these days.
1. No porn.
End of list. Some enterprising uploader has found a way to work around this cardinal rule: use a language few people are likely to type in the search engine! Apparently, only 3% of households speak Irish at home in Ireland so it probably seemed like a safe bet. Then one enterprising gaeilgeoir (Irish speaker) was Googling the word for "film," scannán, and was pleasantly surprised by a series of pornographic YouTube vids.
"Well, I never!" Clutches pearls, dies.(via Mashable)
That gaeilgeoir was the roommate of an Irish journalist at Tuairisc.ie named Maitiú Ó Coimín. He was quick to check it out.
Ó Coimín told Mashable that most of the words connected to the videos are word diarrhea that doesn't mean much:
"It's not actually good Irish; it's just random words translated. The grammar and syntax is awful, it looks like it has gone through Google Translate."
The offending videos have been removed, but we'll keep Googling random Irish words just in case.
We rushed to our computers last night to bring you the news that Comedy Central had confirmed Stewart's departure, but since the show hadn't aired, all we could bring you was a copy of Stewart's first episode from January 11, 1999, 16 years and one month ago. (He keeps saying 17 years...I don't know what to tell you.) Now, however, we can show you the fateful announcement itself, made at the end of the show before the Moment of Zen. It's a sad day for Daily Show fans, but at least the summer of John Oliver taught all of us that we could endure this inevitable transition.
Rumors began spreading when the studio audience for yesterday's show—taped hours before The Daily Show airs—started leaking the news to social media. You can see how that would be a hard secret to keep. It must have been really hard to be the first 150 people in the world outside the writers' room to have this information without shouting it to the world.
Who will be the new fake journalist the world turns to? I hear Brian Williams is available, but Jessica Williams has a lot more gravitas.
When Jon Stewart began in 1999, journalists were far more respected than comedians. Thanks to hard work by both parties, that has reversed.
— Johnny McNulty (@JohnnyMcNulty) February 11, 2015
Real talk: almost cried watching this.
Harry Potter had a rough childhood and adolescence, but once he got to Hogwarts he also had friends, popularity, the respect and admiration of his peers. Severus Snape had only isolation, torment and the suspicion of everyone turned on him. The love of his life was a woman he could never have and he held her murdered body in his arms.
Stone. Cold. Bummer.(screengrab via kcawesome13)
Watching all of his big scenes from the Harry Potter series re-edited in chronological order by YouTube user kcawesome13, it's so easy to see how unfair fate was to Snape and how honorably he fulfilled his responsibilities.
Pour one out for Snape, let the tears roll and think about sacrifice. Yes, I know it's a story about wizards.
He was real to me! (screengrab via kcawesome13)
19-year-old Alecia Faith Pennington wants everyone to know she didn't ask for this.
She was born at her home in Texas, was home-schooled, has never seen the inside of a hospital, and her parents never filed for her birth certificate or Social Security number. Without any evidence of her citizenship, she basically doesn't exist.
Watching Alecia really highlights how easy it is to take birth citizenship for granted. She seems like a clear-headed adult, but Alecia still can't do normal things like get a job, go to college, get a driver's license, get on a plane, get a bank account, and generally participate in life. Essentially a ghost, Pennington is only her name in theory.
She tried to get a delayed birth certificate from a judge in the county she was born, but was told she had "insufficient proof." I can't imagine telling a living breathing human adult that there is insufficient proof they were born.
Now she is looking to find anyone that can help her. Someone who might have gone through a similar situation, or who has helped someone like this before. If you have any idea what to do, she'd love for you to contact her at helpmeproveit@gmail.com
If I were her, I'd just start over and buy a fake passport and Social Security card and get a cool name like Victoria Vanderbluusen-Huusen or whatever.
But if you can help her be Alecia, let her know.
