Quantcast
Channel: someecards.com
Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live

A simple explanation of the viral 'Simpsons' theory that Homer's been in a coma since 1993.

0
0

The best explanation for why the Simpsons is so crazy besides 'it's a cartoon.'

If you've had access to television almost anywhere in the world in the past three decades, chances are you know The Simpsons. Chances are also good that you've heard people say that as the years go by, the plotlines on the show have gotten wackier and wackier, as well as becoming significantly more Homer-centric after the first few Bart-led seasons.

Well, a certain fan theory posted on reddit that explains all this went viral last week. The theory states that the past 20 seasons have all been dreams in Homer's mind after he was put in a coma on April Fool's Day, 1993, in Season 4, Episode 18, "So It's Come To This." This video from Cartoon Conspiracy explains all this in a way that's impossible to misunderstand (but will still make you want to rewatch all the old episodes).


Everything since I was 8 has been a lie. What else is new?

For the record, that coma was initially intended to give the writers a break—it was the show's first flashback clip episode—although the theory goes on to posit that this also let the writers create modern storylines (Homer can hear pop culture references on TV through his coma) without worrying about aging characters or too much plot consistency.


As redditor Hardtopickname pointed out, maybe we should have listened to God.

Also for the record, Simpsons producer Al Jean has called the theory "intriguing but false." Which is exactly what he would say.


Bad news, fellas: two thirds of dating app users are men.

0
0

There's no reason to swipe left.


Now imagine there's two of him.(Stock photo)

According to the latest report from research firm GlobalWebIndex, 91 million people use mobile dating apps like Tinder, Momo, and Hinge. Those odds sounds pretty good, until you hear that 62% of those users are men. So dudes, you might have 35 million women to choose from, but those women have 56 million dudes (if they're even looking for dudes).

Keep your chin up, though. Talk to any woman on Tinder and she'll tell you: your level of competition is not that high. If you can string two sentences together and know not to show her your penis until she asks you, you'll be in good shape.

By the way, the one thing the report doesn't make clear is what the hell Momo and Hinge are.

Watch Justin Bieber get pelted with eggs in this Comedy Central Roast promo.

0
0

Why couldn't Bieber have been caught throwing cinder blocks at houses?


A terrible waste of eggs.

When Comedy Central airs its celebrity roast of Justin Bieber next month, it will, in all likelihood, not feature a segment in which people get to hurl food at the shirtless singer. Just repurposed jokes from the editing room floor of last year's James Franco roast.

So, enjoy this 30-second promo, because it'll probably be all you get:

World's smartest police dog can get into the squad car by himself.

0
0

Now let's see him do the Good Dog/Bad Dog.

This video comes to us from the Greenburgh Police Department in Greenburgh, NY. It looks like the GPD got their hands on one talented K-9 officer. This German Shepherd can open the squad car door, get in, and close it behind him all by himself. I've seen human cops who can't do that.

Come to think of it, this would also be a handy trick for a criminal dog. Let's hope no underworld types ever get ahold of him.

Krispy Kreme accidentally invited children to celebrate KKK Wednesday.

0
0

You gotta try their hot cross buns.


The hooded sheets double as napkins. (via Twitter)

In a series of events intended for children during half term (a week long school break enjoyed by students in the UK) the Krispy Kreme branch in Hull, England invited children to celebrate "KKK Wednesday."

OKKK.

In case you're not familiar, "KKK Wednesday" comes right between "Colouring Tuesday" and "Face Painting Wednesday," and just before "Hood Wearing Saturday."

The Pundit Press reckoned that KKK may have stood for "Krispy Kreme Klub," although I couldn't find any such klub on their websites, UK or otherwise. I did find a coffee club, but they spelled it with a "C." And even if they did have a Klub, it's still a bad look.

The image was posted to Krispy Kreme's UK Facebook page, although it has since been taken down. In its place, they issued an apology on their website:

Krispy Kreme apologises unreservedly for the inappropriate name of a customer promotion at one of our stores. We are truly sorry for any offence this completely unintentional oversight may have caused. All material, both online and in the store, has been withdrawn and steps are being taken to ensure that greater precautions are taken with publicity materials in the future.

Those greater precautions hopefully being to keep their Klansmen off social media.

Or, they could just own it. In which case, look forward to "Aryan Afternoons," "Nazi November," and "9/11 Was an Inside Job-uary."

Charles Manson's wedding is still on, even though his fiancée wants to put his corpse behind glass.

0
0

Love finds a way.


"Now hold that pose forever, honey."(via MansonDirect)

Good news for the Manson Family and Manson friends the world over: just weeks after it was reported that Charles Manson's wedding to 27-year-old Afton Elaine Burton was called off, Burton told Inside Edition that it's back on in a big way.

You may recall that Manson canceled the wedding because of rumors that Burton wanted to preserve his body behind glass after he dies and charge viewers admission. Burton didn't comment on those allegations in this interview, but if the nuptials are back on, it must have been resolved. Either she convinced Manson that it's not her plan, or she convinced him to go along with it.

Oh, to be a fly on the wall of that conversation. Actually, scratch that. I don't want to be in the same room as Charles Manson. Even as a fly.

This guy fell off his snowmobile and then fell hundreds of feet down a mountain.

0
0

How you say? Le "oops."

We've seen a lot of crazy near-death winter sports videos in the last two weeks, from a snowboarder who barely managed to stay ahead of the avalanche he caused to a snowmobiler who started an avalanche, got buried, and was rescued by his friends within 90 seconds. Today's mixture of adventure and serious danger was actually filmed a few years ago, but has only gone viral today (perhaps after exhausting this year's crop of insane snow videos).

In it, a French snowmobiler loses his snowmobile at the very tippy-top of a mountain. Then, until about 1:25, he takes a terrifying slide down a narrow ravine where you're pretty sure he's gonna die. Then, like an idiot, he watches his snowmobile plummet towards him. When it passes him at 2:00, he lets himself fall again down another ravine in order to chase it. Finally, at 2:50, you hear him make a noise that pretty much sums up his entire day.

If only he knew how to enjoy the misfortunes of winter like these people making the best of the cold weather pounding the East Coast.

A-Rod hand-wrote an apology to fans because his roided-up fingers are too bloated to type.

0
0

The pen is mightier than the syringe.


That handwriting has declined almost as much as his batting.(via MLB)

Disgraced Yankee Alex Rodriguez, who was suspended for all of last season for using performance-enhancing drugs, released a handwritten note today apologizing for his misdeeds. The note is pretty convincing, because as everyone knows, it's physically impossible to be insincere in longhand.


Even Clinton had a better apology face.(Getty)

Back in 2013, A-Rod and 12 other players were suspended from the MLB after investigators discovered they had received treatments from a shady Florida clinic with the comically evil name Biogenesis. Rodriguez denied every allegation until he was identified as a customer by the clinic's owner, so fans have reason to distrust him on this.

Knowing sports fans though, whether they accept his apology rests entirely on his performance this season. Better get practicing, Alex! Here's the full letter:


(via MLB)

Here's the text in case you've forgotten how to read handwriting in the 21st Century:

To the Fans,

I take full responsibility for the mistakes that led to my suspension for the 2014 season. I regret that my actions made the situation worse than it needed to be. To Major League Baseball, the Yankees, the Steinbrenner family, the Players Association and you, the fans, I can only say I'm sorry.

I accept the fact that many of you will not believe my apology or anything that I say at this point. I understand why and that's on me. It was gracious of the Yankees to offer me the use of Yankee Stadium for this apology, but I decided that next time I am in Yankee Stadium, I should be in pinstripes doing my job.

I served the longest suspension in the history of the league for PED use. The Commissioner has said the matter is over. The Players Association has said the same. The Yankees have said the next step is to play baseball.

I'm ready to put this chapter behind me and play some ball.

This game has been my single biggest passion since I was a teenager. When I go to Spring Training, I will do everything I can to be the best player and teammate possible, earn a spot on the Yankees and help us win.

Sincerely,
Alex

Embrace your pet co-dependency with a stuffed clone of your furry BFF.

0
0

Missing Mister Mittens while at work? Cuddle Clones will recreate an identical version of him for you (if you're not worried about becoming the weirdo who talks to a stuffed animal at the office).


Because sometimes you can't find a perfect match of your pet in a store.
(via Cuddle Clones)

All you have to do is send Cuddle Clones a bunch of pictures of your pet and, for $199 (for cats or bigger), or $129 (for rabbits or smaller) they will create a spot-for-spot, stripe-for-stripe version of your animal friend.

You even get to pick ear and tail positions. When was the last time your partner let you do that?




It's almost hard to tell which is which sometimes.



Yes, they will do whatever pet you have.



And they really have an eye for details.






The clones are made for a variety of reasons, but as Cuddle Clones co-founder Adam Greene told BuzzFeed News, "about 40% of customers use the service as a form of self-therapy to memorialize pets who died. I've lost a pet before, you at least know someone if you haven't. It really is like losing a member of the family. It's quite a jolt."

Finally, a more subtle way to memorialize your pet than taxidermy, and a lot more acceptable to take to bed with you.

The rest are made for people who otherwise just miss their pets due to traveling, going to work, getting the mail, etc.

From what it looks like here, the biggest fans of the clones are the originals.



This 'Jurassic World' parody trailer makes no sense and it is perfect.

0
0

More nonsense like this, please.

Australian video editor Darren Wallace has created the Mona Lisa of weird parody trailers, if the Mona Lisa had some flying saucers in the background and the same hairdo as Riff Raff. It makes perfect nonsense, featuring Jeff Goldblum's head on dinosaurs, a giant brachiosaurus in an inner tube, and of course velociraptors who are in a gang and ride motorcycles.

Prior to this, Wallace was best-known for his Star Wars: The Force Awakens Disney parody trailer:

Of course, what bizarre parody version of Jurassic World would be complete without bizarre parody merchandise? You can buy t-shirts with the jumping motorcycle velociraptor logo at Wallace's Teespring page.


I'm, uh, parodying commercialism.

All out.

Enough already.

Nostalgic hockey fan tells story of her son's conception in arena parking lot live on air.

0
0

There's a time and a place to share that story, Ma.

For this New York Islanders fan, the time and place is on live TV.

It's the Islanders' final season at the Nassau Coliseum before they move to Brooklyn, and Joy Rosen, superfan, got a bit nostalgic about the good times she had there, which included conceiving her son in the parking lot in 1982.

She also describes nearly missing seeing the Islanders win the Stanley Cup in 1983 because she went into false labor, but luckily she was able to see the game before her son was born.

I'm betting the time she shared those intimate details on live TV will also go down in family lore.

Man caught seeing '50 Shades of Grey' alone tries to hide from reporters.

0
0

His face is 50 shades of red.

Check out this video from Danish TV. Look behind the woman being interviewed about 50 Shades of Grey, and keep an eye on the man walking into the theater by himself.

Clearly this guy had no idea he was going to have his love of BDSM exposed. That's why he was alone, wearing his most inconspicuous sweater.

Frankly, I'm surprised he was so sheepish. I always thought the Danes were more progressive about that stuff. Then again, maybe he doesn't even live in Denmark. That's just how far he was willing to go to cover his trail.

Grape appreciation.


An angry bride tore her a-hole parents a new one in this savage anti-invitation.

0
0

This is what can happen if you abuse your children and then demand to be included in their happiness.


'Till "fuck you" do us part. (stock photo)

23-year-old Alyssa Pearce has been estranged from her abusive parents since she ran away from home at 16. Despite the hard childhood, Pearce has managed to move on with her life. She is working toward earning a Ph.D. in applied linguistics, has plenty of friends, and found a loving and supporting person to marry.

Typical to what Pearce calls "narcissist parents," her folks are trying to worm their way back in. As she posted to reddit five months ago, "Now they're trying to bully their way (via family, they haven't bothered to speak to me personally) into getting an invitation to my wedding."

"There was really only one way to respond."



Sending this letter is a way better wedding gift than a toaster oven. (via Imgur)

According to BuzzFeed, she penned the sentiment in Word, and printed it out on the original wedding stationary because, "if you're going to send someone a memorable 'stuff you,' you've really got to put in some effort. You may as well go all-out."

One commenter pointed out that narcissists are drama-seekers and manipulators and that she might want to avoid giving them "evidence of 'bad behavior' to go crazy about, [something to] show to people while distorting the story, and in general stoke the flames of their madness."

Pearce responded, "I did consider this before sending, but I'm sick of it and even if things do get worse, I'll at least feel that little bit better about having stood up for myself for once."

And if that reason isn't good enough, there's always, "because fuck you that's why."

No-nonsense wiener dog tackles unsuspecting cat to get toy.

0
0

Wait for it…

This is why cats never seem interested in playing our games. They know it's just a distraction before the attack. The video's uploader, vesky39, says that the dog's name is Penny and the cat's name is Jujubee, which are surprisingly adorable names considering the NFL-style maneuvers they're pulling off on that hardwood.

Badass 'Wheel of Fortune' contestant solves puzzle with only one letter on the board like it ain't no thang.

0
0

It was pretty obvious, if you're clairvoyant.

Rufus, who left Tuesday night's Wheel of Fortune with a cool $7,100, does not need to get a few consonants and a vowel or two up on the board before he solves the puzzle.

He needs a single letter. If that. Actually, Rufus doesn't even need a "T" to tell you the solution to this puzzle is "Championship Match." He just needs to see the blank spaces laid out. The white squares speak to him. In fact, Rufus can guess the answer to the puzzle before he even enters the studio. He knows just by picturing the dimple in Pat Sajak's left cheek.

He was born for this. Everyone get out of his way.

Oklahoma makes U.S. look bad by trying to ban AP U.S. History for making U.S. look bad.

0
0

Students now have to settle for OK U.S. History.


At least their grandkids will never learn about this embarrassing episode.

A bill overwhelmingly passed (11-4) in the Common Education Committee in Oklahoma's state House of Representatives to ban all public funding for Advanced Placement U.S. History because the course, taken by millions of high school students across the country to prepare for college and earn university credits, fails to highlight "American exceptionalism" and only teaches "what is bad about America." If that's true, I assume today's AP U.S. History must be full of lessons on the American education system. More specifically, lessons on how education policy is falling into weird hands.


Things that scare me: 1) black robes, 2) regiments, 3) black-robed regiments.

(screengrab via Black Robe Regiment)

The bill was sponsored by Republican Dan Fisher of Yukon, OK, who is a member of a group that thinks it's totally fine to call themselves the Black Robe Regiment like that's not creepy as hell. The BRR is a group of hard-line Christian conservatives who have promised to "attack the false wall of separation between church and state" and uphold their "biblical responsibility to stand up for our Lord and Savior and to protect the freedoms and liberties granted to a moral people in the divinely inspired US Constitution." A job that is clearly not being made any easier by AP U.S. History.

"Who controls the past controls the future; who controls the present controls the past." - Me, as far as future OK students probably know.


Oklahoma City, where men with strange ideas about the US gov't never cause problems.
(via Urbanative on Wikipedia)

In an editorial, the Tulsa World called on the Oklahoma House Speaker to keep the bill from coming to the floor of the House for a full vote, calling it an "ignorant effort that belongs on the ash heap of history." They also note that this is separate from the fight over Common Core, which is a federal set of guidelines for public education courses. Even though many of those fights revolve around similar topics of American exceptionalism and making America look good (and "ideologically biased" ideas like evolution), the AP is designed by a private company and is an important tool used by colleges in admissions (and save students lots of money by letting them earn credits in high school).

Like the great American Bison, nothing bad can ever happen to Oklahoma.


Oklahoma's State Mammal, the bison, which was totally not almost wiped out by humans.

I could sit here and make snotty observations about why Oklahoma lawmakers might be embarrassed by U.S. History. You know what? I will. Like how their state was once called the Indian Territory because it was the end destination for the Trail of Tears, that little incident in which America forcibly removed (and killed many of) the "Five Civilized Tribes" from eastern areas. And how eventually, shockingly, the federal government took the Indian Territory back from the Native Americans and gave it to Sooners, white settlers who got that name because they were too impatient to wait until the land didn't legally belong to Native Americans anymore. What's the term for giving someone something and then taking it back? Oklahoma-giving? Oh, and even though it wasn't a state yet, slavery was totes legal until 1866. Anything else? Oh! The Tulsa Race Riot in 1921, when white residents of Tulsa attacked and burned down a black area called the Greenwood District, because it was the richest black neighborhood in the country, a.k.a. the "Black Wall Street." 300 people died.


"Don't mind us, we're just trying to prevent a black middle class from ever forming."
(Tulsa Race Riots, Library of Congress)

Now that's some exceptional U.S. history right there, Oklahoma.

Try this Google Maps driving simulator and the world is your video game.

0
0

It's a lovely day for a drive.


You get the best view when you park on top of the Empire State Building.(via Frame Synthesis)

Having fun with Google Maps is nothing new. Whether you're finding a church shaped like a penis, staging a murder, or writing reviews for North Korean prison camps, it's one of the Internet's most reliable time sinks.

But the one thing you couldn't do with Google Maps was get in a car and drive around. Until now, that is. Japanese game developer Frame Synthesis has created a free, browser-based 2D driving simulator that lets you tool around in a car or bus anywhere in the world on Google Maps. It's even better than real driving, because you're unconstrained by geography or physics. Feel free to drive over water, up the sides of buildings, or anywhere at all. Where you're going, you don't need roads.

Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live




Latest Images