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Plan your summer vacation with this interactive world map of murder.

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Avoid Honduras during the busy, year-round homicide season.


Latin America is experiencing a heat wave of homicides, but lets take a look at your 10 day forecast.
(via News.co.au)

If you're looking to get away this summer, see the world, and come home alive, do a little pre-vacation research with the Homicide Monitor. Using all available comprehensive data on homicide rates around the world, the Homicide Monitor can show you just how likely it is to end up dead by another man's hand anywhere in the world.

The Homicide Monitor was created by Brazilian research group Igarapé Institute. According to the map's data, Honduras is the most homicidal country on earth, with 85.5 in every 100,000 people killed in 2012. The least homicidal country in 2012, according to the map, was Monaco, with not a single murder.

Creating a world-spanning map of death does have some usefulness besides fueling your latent xenophobia. The map reveals a lot of concerning details, particularly that half of murders on record around the world are committed with firearms. Seeing the trends of data over time, as well as how the crime rates compare worldwide, can help find the troubled places on earth. Perhaps the official governments of Latin America—particularly Honduras—are less than eager to publicize such shocking data. Now that the information can get out, hopefully we can find a way to stop shooting each other so much.


Chicken proves its better than your coworkers at noticing a new haircut.

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A video proving that children and chickens can be warm and cuddly when they feel like it.

A kid with a cooler haircut than yours returned home and waited for his friends to notice the big change. It took almost no time at all. One friend took awhile to inspect the new haircut, because the haircut was so good the kid didn't seem like the same person. The kid was so happy that the friend even noticed, that he gave his friend a nice, long hug. By the way, all the kid's friends are chickens.

Remember this video the next time you're about to eat chicken at a fast food restaurant. Then remember that most fast food places offer food that's likely only 30% chicken, so you're not that bad. Then get a cool haircut.

Trying for a year to get your academic advisor to advise you? That's harassment, apparently.

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Kennesaw State exercise science major Kevin Bruce has been trying for a year to get an academic advisor help him plan his course load. It got him a whole lot of nothing, and then a whole lot of hostility.


Kennesaw State's mascot is Scrappy the Owl. That seems relevant.(Via Gawker)

Figuring out what classes you need to take to graduate in a timely way is a tough field to navigate. Rarely are advisors much of a help, as they've got hundreds of students to manage, and they're always trying to "publish or perish" or whatever. It's especially tough at really big colleges. Kennesaw State University in Georgia has more than 30,000 students, and Kevin Bruce has been trying to get some of that basic assistance from his advisor, Abby Dawson, for more than a year.

Good news! He finally got some face time with Dawson. It didn't go so well. That's when Bruce started filming with a smartphone camera, which jerks always seem to forget exist when they start acting like jerks.

As you can ascertain from the video, Dawson is apparently too busy once more to actually meet with Bruce, so he says he'll just sit and wait until an advisor—any advisor—becomes available. Dawson then threatens to call security on Bruce because to her waiting around to see an academic advisor once and for all is "harassment."

Responding to what has quickly turned into a PR nightmare, KSU has begun a formal inquiry into the situation.

A woman left her four-year-old alone in a car on Mother's Day so she could get her drink on.

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Mom can do whatever she wants on Mother's Day. It's her day! Except when she endangers the safety of the person that enables her to celebrate Mother's Day.


"You want me to grab you something in there?" (Via My Fox 8)

28-year-old Oklahoma City woman Hayley Dawn Hampton decided to cut loose from the restraints of child-rearing on Mother's Day and accompanied her boyfriend and some friends to knock back a few at a local bar called Lumpy's. But rather than get a babysitter for her four-year-old, or leave the kid with Dad, she just left the young one buckled up in the backseat of her Nissan Xterra in the Lumpy's parking lot.

Police responded to a call of an unattended child at about 12:20 a.m., about an hour after Hampton reportedly arrived at Lumpy's. (The child was fast asleep, as it was 12:20 a.m.) Even though Hampton claims that she had her boyfriend (not the kid's father) stand in the parking lot and watch the car for a few minutes, police still went ahead and arrested her on charges of child neglect.

We realize you just talked to your mom last weekend, but go ahead and call her today and thank her again, specifically for not ever doing this to you (probably).

Workplace

Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively released the official teaser for their baby, and it's adorable.

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This little hand is all the media has seen of baby James.







Thumb wrestling isn't always fair. Curiously, my hand is the small one.
A photo posted by Ryan Reynolds (@vancityreynolds) on

Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively had their first child, a daughter named James, toward the end of last year. To date, however, they haven't shown her to the media, preferring to maintain their privacy. Today, however, Reynolds backed off from that position slightly, posting this adorable picture to Instagram of her tiny hand grabbing onto his thumb.

Considering that he's only been on Instagram for four days, Reynolds is making a pretty big splash with it. Lively even regrammed this pic with the caption: " ...and with that, my husband @vancityreynolds joins Insta."

These stars, they can't do anything without fanfare.

Someone accidentally leaked Daniel Craig's (aka James Bond) role in the upcoming Star Wars movie.

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Simon Pegg accidentally revealed that Daniel Craig wanted to make a secret cameo in the new Star Wars movie.


There could be anyone under that helmet. Could be a black dude, could be a famous actor who doesn't need to be there.(image via Getty)

Stars Wars is so cool that international sex symbols who usually play the world's most famous spy want to be in it as an extra. Daniel Craig (AKA "agent 007" AKA James Bond) is rumored to be in the upcoming installment of the sci-fi franchise.

Instead of playing some cool bounty hunter ordering some oddly-specific drink at the Mos Eisley Cantina, Craig, apparently upon request, will be making a secret cameo as a lowly stormtrooper.

This is all according to Simon Pegg, who accidentally let the cat out of the bag at a movie premiere in London. He immediately followed up with: "I shouldn't have said that."

Finally, an actor who was Bond will know what it's like to play the role of one of a million henchmen who gets killed by a more important character. I hope this will add nuance to Craig's future Bond performances.

Awesome cat catches bat in midair, owner proudly decrees it "dope."

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This cat and its wise-cracking owner could easily become my new favorite crime-fighting duo.

Nobody likes it when bats get in the house: Not humans, not cats, and certainly not the bats themselves (or if they are super chill and having a good time, they certainly don't know how to show it). But dealing with a bat is a lot easier when you have an awesome, ninja-flipping cat. I hope the cat was also the one who figured out to slip a piece of cardboard under the box and carry the whole thing outside to let the bat fly free.


10 of the funniest and weirdest lunch bag notes.

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All the kids who got sappy love notes from their parents in their sack lunches are grown up with little brown-baggers of their own. These new parents are a goofy and unsentimental bunch.


Obviously written by a dad, because the joke is about eight years out of date. (Via Izismile)


It took two people to make this note. (Via Imgur)


Even lunch is tough in the Corleone family. (Via Imgur)


Hey, Mom, it's my lunch, and I can do whatever I want with it. (Via Izismile)


That's fine, because crusts are really just big croutons. (Via Parentdish)


Challenge accepted. (Via Parentdish)


Everybody knows Mom's love tastes like peanut butter. (Via Buzzfeed)


Still funnier than City Slickers 2: The Legend of Curly's Gold. (Via Izismile)



Lies. (Via Buzzfeed)


Eh, why start now? (Via Parentdish)

Parrot pulls out boy's loose tooth, makes you yell "Ahhh! No!"

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Prediction: CBS will buy the rights to this video and have a show called 'Bird Dentist' on air within six months.

Child/daredevil Aaron Androschcuk recently posted this video of his parrot pulling out a loose tooth. According to his YouTube page, this is the fifth tooth the bird has pulled out of Aaron, which means Aaron is five times braver than I am.

Also, I'm a little worried that Aaron is accidentally training the parrot to develop a taste for pulling human teeth that could drive the parrot to go pull other kids' teeth when Aaron's baby teeth are all gone. The upside is that there would be a winged creature that cares about taking your baby teeth, which makes the tooth fairy kind of real. But the downside is that the tooth fairy is just a parrot that steals your teeth directly from your mouth and gives you no money.

Hilarious "deleted" action movie scenes explain how women look stupid good while fighting.

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If you ever wondered why women look so dumb perfect when they're running, fighting, and jumping through action movies, these sarcastic "deleted scenes" have the answer.

You don't need some Internet writer like me to tell you that the portrayal of women in 99% of dude-written action movies is ridiculous (or if you do need me to tell you that, you need to see more films). Women in action movies are either helpless, one-dimensional, plot driving trophy tits; or they're badass fighters who for some reason choose to work in ankle-breaking heels and look like they had their hair replaced with never-move plastic.

Thankfully, this video by Dara Laine is here to help explain how women manage to look so good when the world is fucking ending.

Paris Hilton tries to stay relevant with creepy sex party music video that looks like a parody of itself.

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Paris Hilton is back! Or maybe she never went away! Maybe she's been hiding in your house for the last several months, filming this bizarre sex party in your basement!


The woman on the right has the facial expression of someone questioning all the life decisions that brought her to this moment. (via ParisHiltonVEVO on YouTube)

I guess Paris Hilton is still a thing, and Paris Hilton trying to have a music career is still a thing, because suddenly we have this music video for "High Off My Love," featuring Birdman. It's a fever dream of a video in which Paris asks "Do you want to get high off my love?" at least 50 times, but never gives anyone an opportunity to answer.


If this is a sex party, and I have to pick one of these people as a partner, I choose the man with a chandelier for a face. (via ParisHiltonVEVO on YouTube)

Well, I guess this featured Birdman fellow technically has an opportunity to answer, but he uses the time to discuss money. Oh, and I have some bad news about Birdman: He's not the film Birdman or the cartoon Birdman. Rather, he's a rapper whose rhymes are what I believe people in the music business call "tepid."

The whole video is just slightly off, but oddly compelling because of that. It feels 90% like a parody of itself and 10% like "Hey, maybe these people aren't having a sex party and this is actually a masked murder cult." I mean, seriously:


Bon soir! Did anybody call for a death? (via ParisHiltonVEVO on YouTube)

Anyway, here's the thing for your viewing... pleasure? That's not quite right. Your viewing masochism? Oh, and if this video turns out to have a Ring-style curse on it, my advance apologies for sharing:

Attentive partners.

This adorable baby bunny is STOKED to drink his milk and it's a lesson in joy.

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His frantic dancing will remind you of how it feels to be in love.

Seriously, this was me at the bar last night, but for wine. Considering how I feel this morning, hopefully this cutie is okay!

Yes, I know, he's probably simulating the kneading that baby mammals do to express milk from mama's nipple. Don't be sad for him, my cat does the same thing to an old blanket and he seems very happy. And this little cottontail has two loving caretakers who only laugh at his flailing a little. My favorite part is how the tempo changes, going from hysterical speeds to a much more methodical pace that seems to say, "I still feel strongly about milk, but I am getting sleepy." Again, much like me at the bar last night, but for dancing.

This squeezable hedgehog tries to turn over and looks how getting out of bed on the weekend feels.

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He is beautiful as snacks made him!

YES! CHUBBY HEDGEHOG!

He wasn't always so. According to HART Wildlife Rescue, who put out this incredible video:

This adorable wild hedgehog was brought into HART Wildlife Rescue as a poorly underweight juvenile in Autumn 2014. He was treated for parasites and put on weight but had to stay with us for the winter as it was too cold for him to be released. Here he was videoed during one of his health checks, trying to make a run for it! We are happy to say it wasn't long after this video that the weather improved and he was released back to the wild!

Bless you, little guy. I, too, struggle to get up some days. I'm not quite so adorable and rollie-pollie, but you're making me really feel the phrase "more to love."


Watch this very funny mom reenact how her daughter came out of the closet.

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22-year-old tumblr user Bri shared her mom's performance of how Bri came out to her as a lesbian and it is hilarious.

Mom's are always the first to know. A loving mom, like Bri's, is willing to sit back and let her child discover who she is and share it on her own terms. Doesn't mean they won't tease you unmercifully later, but Bri is giggling throughout the video, so I think it's okay. Bri writes:

My mom's says this was how it was when I came out. I love her. She's a minister everyone. Religion shouldn't involve hate.

Preach.

Did you know that Disney used to recycle its own animation to cut corners?

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Twice upon a dream.

Apparently, Disney animators used to rifle through old films they'd worked on to find bits of animation that they could pencil over and repurpose for newer movies. I had no idea, but it makes absolute perfect sense. If you think animating feature length movies is difficult now, imagine how hard it was when every single frame of the film was hand drawn and photographed individually. Film projectors zip through 24 frames of film per second, so a 90 minute movie would require roughly 130,000 images. I'd be recycling things constantly!

In fact, this very post consists of about 60 percent material I reused from previous posts I've written. I just go through old posts, looking for useful sentences, and then I swap out the subjects, verbs and adjectives for ones that make more sense for the topic I'm writing about. It really cuts down on time.

See what the world would be like if everything was bundled like cable channels. (Spoiler alert: It'd be awful.)

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Cable works like this because that's how cable works.

This video from Funny or Die, featuring David Koechner (a.k.a. that guy from that thing), does a pretty good job of highlighting the absurdity of cable companies' policy of channel-bundling. It's pretty short, quite funny and rather illustrative.

Unfortunately for you, it happens to be bundled with this 48-minute lecture on misconceptions in aerodynamics from the University of Michigan. If you start watching now, you'll be able to close the tab on this post in a little less than an hour. Enjoy!

Miley Cyrus and Ariana Grande "flirt" and do an incredible version of an eighties classic in onesies.

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Them pipes, though.

Soooooo thankful for Ariana Grande for being a part of the #backyardsessions!! You're the sweetest little #happyhippie...

Posted by Miley Cyrus on Thursday, May 14, 2015

Miley Cyrus isn't my favorite performer, but I have to admit she and Ariana Grande sound amazing singing "Don't Dream It's Over." They look a little ridiculous, but being an itty bitty baby with a ponytail is Grande's brand and Cyrus probably takes any opportunity to dress as a unicorn. ,

I also think it's cool that Miley Cyrus is directing the power of her celebrity towards raising money and awareness about LGBTQ homeless youth with her organization, The Happy Hippie Foundation. Cyrus recently came out as someone who's exploring their own definition of gender and sexuality, and she takes a moment to remind us of that by "flirting" with Ariana Grande. They're both beautiful people, so it makes sense that they're vibing!

Awesome single lady has started dating her JanSport backpack and documenting their dates.

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Comedian Genevieve Blau is experiencing a whirlwind summer romance with her backpack.

You know how it is when you've been friends with someone for a long time...you go everywhere together, you've shared ups and downs, you're both a little travel worn. Then, suddenly, your eyes meet and everything's changed. You can't just be friends anymore. Something like that has happened for Ms. Blau and her beautiful pink backpack. She wrote to The Daily Dot:

I was going to a nice restaurant and I was wearing this backpack. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to choose to not feel bad about the fact that I'm wearing jeans and a T-shirt going to this fancy Italian restaurant and make this about something fun that I can do while I dine by myself...dudes come and go. I have had this backpack for 10 f*cking years.

Here are a few of their outings:

We're splitting a marg!! #yolo #thursdaylunch #jansportdate

A photo posted by Gen Blau (@heresthedoodle) on

But they also stay in:

Shhhhh... JanSport is sleeping. But I'm busy creeping!! #jansportdate

A photo posted by Gen Blau (@heresthedoodle) on

This should be their photo when they make it "Facebook Official:"

OMG so embarrassing... #jansportdate

A photo posted by Gen Blau (@heresthedoodle) on

Double date:

Double #JansportDate.

A photo posted by Gen Blau (@heresthedoodle) on

On the verandah:

Happiness is a Brooklyn backyard on a beautiful Sunday with your love. #springinnewyork #brooklyn #JansportDate

A photo posted by Gen Blau (@heresthedoodle) on

It's nice to be with an object that can make you laugh:

Friday night #jansportdate A photo posted by Gen Blau (@heresthedoodle) on
Well, this is great. But does it beat this single lady?

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