I'm worried you're planning on drinking less this Friday due to the short workweek.
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I don't need a football game to get drunk and scream at my television.
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We are not entertained.
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I'm glad our relationship is solid enough that we can spend our time criticizing everyone else's.
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May your favorite football team's victory not contribute to your fantasy team's loss.
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Thanks for the invitation to watch you watch football.
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My fantasy job is to work with people who don't incessantly talk about fantasy football at work.
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It's been far too long since you, me, and a bottle of wine hung out together.
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Here's to it finally being even colder outside than it is in the office.
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I want an Indian Summer in the least racist way possible.
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I'm impressed by your weather-resistant dedication to always showing an inappropriate amount of cleavage.
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Wine time.
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If you drink enough tonight, you won't have to lie when you call in sick tomorrow.
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Congratulations on the nose job you're about to insist you didn't have.
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Poor Miley.
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Sorry Mrs. Perfect's little angel got head lice.
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May this be the iPhone upgrade that makes your life bearable.
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Here's hoping the iPhone 5S totally revolutionizes the way I ignore human beings.
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I'm glad there will be an iPhone that's affordable to the sweatshop workers who make iPhones.
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Just a heads up that we aren't going into that war you heard about in between twerking videos.
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