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This shark loves getting his belly rubbed just like a dog.

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Just look at that happy face.

"Aw, that's so cute!" isn't a phrase that is generally associated with sharks. A considerably more common one is: "Oh my God! We're all going to die!!!" Even, "Well, he shouldn't have been surfing with a cheeseburger," pops up a bit more often.

However, as this belly-rub-loving zebra shark in New Caledonia's Aquarium des Lagons proves, cuteness exists within the Chondrichthyes order:

All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful,
Belly rubs for them all.


Shorten it.

Prepare to be grossed out by what's actually in your make-up.

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Fake make-up is a million dollar industry that sells unsuspecting buyers poisonous and disgusting knock-offs.


She thought she'd found a deal... (Comedy Central)

Super bummer! That MAC blush you've been buying online for a fraction of what it costs at Sephora? It's probably made in an unregulated factory somewhere. Instead of paying full price for the unicorn shavings and fairy dust in a brand-name eyeliner, you're buying stuff to smear on your face that contains traces of lead, arsenic, mercury, human urine and rat droppings. The first three are the worst, but the last two feel the worst.

Of course, most people don't find that out and say, "Oh well, it's worth it to look this good." There are lots of folks online who dedicate time to smoking out the fakes, or helping you to.

Um, some of the differences are subtle:

Very subtle:

You might be thinking the legit make-up industry just wants us to be afraid to go for these great deals on what is essentially the same product. In that case, I have a tinfoil hat to sell you. This discount make-up is definitely fake and even real brands frequently contain chemicals with very little regulation or testing for safety, or they're known to be toxic and are still on the market. Basically, what I'm saying is, girl, you don't need makeup, you're perfect when you wake up. Now, go wash that lovely face in the sink.


Before it falls off. (Thinkstock)

At least this gave me an excuse to post this amazing Amy Schumer sketch again:


5 moments from this week’s ‘Kardashians’ episode that prove we’ll never keep up with any Kardashians.

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Things got more serious last week on 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians,' but this week the family is back to their old tricks: boobs, butts, arguing over who's the famousest, and vacations.

Have you missed wondering what it's like to fail at keeping up with the Kardashians? Here are five moments from this week's trip to Montana that made us want to give up on their demands to continue watching their every move, as if one day we might be able to make the same ones:

1. When you talked to your mother about your growing breasts, it wasn't in terms of how many thousands of dollars' worth of diamonds they can display.


2. When people say your sister is more famous than you it's because she was homecoming queen 20 years ago and neither of you left town.

3. When your family member becomes a national conversation starter, you don't have the option of jumping out of a helicopter to escape.

4. No one sends anyone in your family a box of vibrators, no matter how much of a medical necessity it clearly is.

5. Your recently divorced dad's house doesn't have a BYOH policy.

This man's Final Jeopardy response was hilariously wrong.

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If you don't know the answer to a question, always guess something hilarious.

A man who has no idea he's about to become a a brief internet celebrity. (screenshot via YouTube)

How much do you know about hymns? What about musicals? Yeah, me neither. We're in good company, because Jeopardy! champion Choyon Manjrekar also has no clue about religious/theatrical music. He gave it his best when confronted with this Final Jeopardy question on Monday:


(screenshot via YouTube)

These are some of the things he did NOT guess:

  • Ain't Misbehavin'
  • Book of Mormon
  • Jesus Christ Superstar
  • The King And I

And this is what he went for instead:


(photo via Uproxx)

Who doesn't remember Grandma, dressed to the nines every Sunday, right there in the front pew, hat bobbing rhythmically as she belted out a pitchy rendition of "Kinky Boots"?

Don't worry, he didn't wager any money and he won anyway.

(The correct answer was jukebox musical Rock of Ages, which is awful.)

Watch the full video here:

5 things I learned about love from this week's 'Bachelorette.'

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My name is Nathan, and I'm bad at love.

So I'm turning to the 11th season of The Bachelorette for help. Week 2 of dating is all about separating yourself from the competition. My date, just like Kaitlyn, still has several men to choose from, and it's up to me to stand out and move on to week 3. Here is what I learned from last night's episode to make that happen:

1. Don't pay more attention to other women during the date.

Most men on the first group date tried to get as much time with Kaitlyn as possible. Kupah is not most men. He thought impressing boxing champion Laila Ali with his work ethic would be the quickest way to Kaitlyn's heart. I'll admit I was surprised when this forward-thinking strategy did not work. It turns out if you don't acknowledge the woman you are dating she might forget you are on a date in the first place. Good to know.

2. Do knock out the competition (or get literally knocked out).

Ben Z. isn't able to use JJ's never-fail tactic of “be a dad" to win group date roses, so he was forced to use a new approach: knock everyone else out. Nothing says lifetime partner like sending someone to the hospital. Give that guy a rose! Unfortunately I don't have the physical ability to do this, but luckily for me Ben Z. wasn't the only winner here. Jared also won favor with Kaitlyn by getting beaten so badly it required medical treatment. I can handle a quick trip to the doctor in the name of love.

3. Don't play nice with her other suitors.

JJ was not willing to go with the majority decision to allow everyone equal time with Kaitlyn during the cocktail party. It doesn't matter if every guy in the house and every person watching at home hate you. This is about showing Kaitlyn that you are there to win her love and only her love. JJ is the new front-runner because he is willing to be a jerk. That's my kind of role model. I also took note that in week 2 of dating it is a positive to start using the term “future husband." Thank you JJ!

4. Don't use bad similes to impress her. Or anyone. Ever.

Oh Tony…

5. Do speak quietly when you're being a dick.

The biggest takeaway this week was when Kupah reminded the world that if you are going to be a jerk when talking about your date to a group of other men it might be a good idea to not talk so loudly that she can hear you from the next room. This error in judgment was enough for Kaitlyn to send him packing before the Rose Ceremony. Lesson learned: be very loud when being nice and keep your voice down when being an asshole.

This touching photo of a Marine and his fiancée just before their wedding is going viral.

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The Internet has been moved by this photo of a couple praying together moments before their wedding ceremony.

I'm sure many talented wedding photographers go their whole careers without getting a photo like this one. But Dwayne Schmidt hit the jackpot when he was hired to photograph the wedding of US Marine Corporal Caleb Earwood and his fiancée Maggie. The two were married on Saturday in Asheville, North Carolina, in a very traditional ceremony. Caleb wore his dress blues, and Maggie wore a classic white wedding dress. They were so photogenic, they looked like the plastic bride and groom on top of the cake.

It was important to Caleb that they pray together before the ceremony, but he also wanted to maintain the tradition of not seeing each other before they reached the altar. To solve the problem, they decided to hold hands and pray while standing around the corner from each other, keeping their eyes closed the whole time. The moment was so emotional that they both broke down in tears, and that's when Dwayne stepped in to capture it forever.

Knowing how special the photo was, Dwayne uploaded it to his Facebook page. Almost immediately, it exploded on the Internet, with thousands of people touched by the simple sweetness and romance of the image. As of press time, it has almost 42,000 likes and more than 6,500 shares. But the real magic of that moment was shared between the people present when it really happened. As Maggie told ABC News, "There were no dry eyes in the room."

The man who was body shamed for dancing just got his own celebrity-packed dance party.

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Finally, this #DancingMan got a party.

I spend a lot of time with stories where a sad person gets carried to wonderful heights by the Internet's intervention. You're kind of always waiting for the other shoe to drop. For example, the people who get hundreds of thousands of dollars on GoFundMe end up getting robbed, or they turn out to be a puppy-kicker, or something. But so far The Dancing Man, née Sean O'Brien, seems to be a nice dude who is using his newfound fame to raise money for the anti-bullying campaign, The Trevor Project. That's very cool and I am honestly praying nothing bad about this guy ever, ever comes out.

If you need a refresher, here's the post that made Sean O'Brien famous:


Very brave of Anonymous to share.(Addicting Info)

A campaign was launched to find this man who was shamed for dancing with the only body he has by some mouth-breathing creeps who then posted his sad face online. Their caption reads:

Spotted this specimen trying to dance the other week. He stopped when he saw us laughing.

The post went viral, but it was because everyone hated the creeps, not Sean O'Brien. We should all be able to dance at a dance party without someone snorting into their hand about how gross they find our bodies, then delighting in our misery and discomfort. Well, the Internet found him and this weekend, O'Brien finally got his jam.

The party included a lot of celebrities, including Andrew W.K., Moby, Pharrell, Meghan Trainor and Monica Lewinsky, because she knows a thing or two about bullying. As you can see in the clips below, the main thing we have to worry about for Dancing Man is that he'll get sick of partying.

Monica Lewinsky at the #DancingMan party!

A video posted by Matt MyAnnoyances Diaz (@mattjosephdiaz) on

#dancingman

A video posted by murdaball (@murdaball) on

This is the party that love built. #DancingMan

A video posted by Matt MyAnnoyances Diaz (@mattjosephdiaz) on

I'm tired just from watching all of these videos. Good for O'Brien and the event's organizers, particularly Cassandra Fairbanks. Let's dance and forget the haters.

So many good vibes tonight. #dancingmanparty #dancingman

A photo posted by Lyndsey Parker (@lyndseyparker) on


Article 11

Here's hoping your performance review at work isn't nearly as bad as the one Conan gave his staff.

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At least your boss pretends like he knows what you do.

Performance reviews are a miserable exercise everyone dreads. Employees feel like they are at a job interview for their own crappy job, and the management feels unclean mixing with the lower classes. However, it could be worse: your performance review could be done on camera by Conan O'Brien.

Watch as Conan terrorizes his lovely staff with unsubtle power plays, disturbs them with creepy physical advances, and makes everyone choose someone from the staff to be fired immediately. Funnily enough, everyone picks the same person.

A man tweeted a great response to the meninist bullies who mocked his wedding photo.

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Adam Harris got emotional on his wedding day upon seeing his fiancée walk down the aisle. Meninists mocked him, and he responded perfectly.

Bigotry comes in three different silhouettes and colors. (via meninist.co)

There is a movement called meninism, which is thinly veiled sexism masquerading as a voice for the agenda of men's rights. The spokesmen represent themselves with a Twitter account that surely enrages feminists and humanists alike. If you want to be frustrated, take a look at it here. The atrocious @MeninistTweet account posted the following tweet, which included photos of Adam Harris and his wife Tisa on their wedding day that were used without permission:

Harris responded to the shameful, sexist tweet with the following:

Way to take the high road! In fact, almost any road is higher than the road taken by meninists, which is somewhere between a deep sub-basement and Earth's magma core. Harris's tweet has racked up over 75,000 retweets, far surpassing @MeninistTweet's original bullying tweet. He's received many positive responses, and it's great that his mature, rational response to something so offensive is what's getting all the attention.

Harris told Buzzfeed News how he felt on upon seeing his wife come down the aisle:

"When I saw her, I couldn't hold back feelings of excitement and love, she looked gorgeous. Our photographer, Dustin Finklestein, captured the moment perfectly."

What a truly heartfelt sentiment from a man on his wedding day. My only regret in writing this article is that I linked to the meninists' account and website, both of which I advise you not to view if you want to remain on your path to enlightenment.

This lazy cat would rather make every McDonald's customer step over it than move.

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It's a cat's world; we just live in it.

This video, taken in front of a Russian McDonald's, basically confirms everything we suspected about cats all along: they are our masters, we serve at their pleasure, and they couldn't care less.

Related: cat looks into his owner's eyes while knocking her stuff off a table.

I think the message of this video is summed up in the title: "Коту похуй." According to Google Translate, that's Russian for "cat fuck."

Cat fuck indeed.

Tuesday morning panic attack: watch a truck drive across flimsy wood planks onto a ship.

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Hitchcockian levels of suspense are achieved in this footage of a pickup truck driving onto a boat.

If you had a calming, restorative holiday weekend but you're anxious to get back to being anxious, look no further than this video. It depicts a pickup truck slowly driving across what appear to be a couple of elongated toothpicks onto a ship. This wizardry defies all principles of physics, logic and reason, and is causing me to question what I know to be true in this world. It's also the most suspenseful 58 seconds of film I've seen since the Breaking Bad series finale.

Push play and hold on to your ergonomic desk chair, this is the summer thriller you've been waiting for.


Time mismanagement.

Mexican man crashes nutbag anti-immigration rally and dances his ass off.

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"See? Nobody likes you guys. I'm livening up the party."


If there is one word to describe anti-immigration activists, it's "wrong." If I were being overly polite to these hatred-fueled rednecks, I'd also describe them as "uptight."

Watch as an anti-immigration protest is crashed by this proud Mexican man, who boogies around these stiffs in a bandolier while waving a Mexican flag, and having a much better time than the protestors. The race-baiting camera operator hurls ignorant nonsense around as he follows my new hero skipping and swaying and smiling his way through the hate party. However, nothing stops this guy from grooving to the music.


Rumer Willis and Demi Moore could be twins in this new Instagram photo.

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The 26-year-old posted this image of herself and her 52-year-old mother in matching outfits.







That moment when you realize you actually are becoming your mother #twinning #imnotmad
A photo posted by Rumer Willis (@ruelarue) on

It's a moment that most of us dread: when you realize you're turning into your parent. But when that parent happens to be a famous movie star bombshell who looks the same as she did 20 years ago, it's probably easier to take.

That's how Rumer Willis, the daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, must have felt when she posted this Instagram pic of herself and her mother on Sunday. In their matching outfits, the resemblance between the two is uncanny. They even have their hair done the same way (good thing Rumer didn't copy her dad's style).

Less than an hour later, the 26-year-old Dancing With The Stars champion shared this other photo of herself in a bikini:




I can understand her mom not wanting to take part in that one. That might have gotten a little weird.

Two BFFs made this contract so they could "legally" torture their little sisters.

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Big sisters abuse their power with the help of a binding legal document.


Signed in blood. (via Facebook)

Comedian Emily Winter recently uncovered this contract she and her friend Meg made 20 years ago in order to feel better about torturing their little sisters Alexis and Elizabeth. She posted it to Facebook saying "This is what happens when lawyers have kids."

The "W.W. Contract" reads:

This contract contains the rules and information of W.W. (war weekend). W.W. is a weekend in the summer in which everyone gets to do whatever she wants. Example: if one child wants to do someones [sic] hair weird and another child wants to make somebody wear a weird necklace then if possible it happens and NO TELLING! Do whatever you want to us and vise [sic] versa but no telling. One more rule: no bloodshed! No black and blue marks for small children.

The sad thing is, the little sisters probably thought they were getting a pretty good deal. "No bloodshed—wow, that's generous of them!" As a little sister myself, I wish I could go back in time and tell them not to sign.

But honestly, they'd probably do your hair weird anyway. Big sisters never follow the rules, whether they sign an agreement or not.

Article 2

Justin Bieber demonstrated how he makes love while he sang Boys II Men classic "I'll Make Love To You."

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In an impromptu performance, Justin Bieber sang his rendition of "I'll Make Love To You."

Model and performanceartist Justin Bieber returned to his musical roots over the weekend when he took the stage during Jazz Night by Jin&Quin at the W Hollywood Hotel. He chose to grace the audience with the smooth sounds of the Boys II Men classic "I'll Make Love To You." And he didn't just sing! He also took a moment during an instrumental break to get down on the floor and do a couple of air-humps to let everyone know he knows how sex works.

I wonder if Boys II Men would approve of Bieber's cover and/or his love-making methods. We may never know. But in the mean time, please enjoy the original version of the song:

These illustrations of foreign words with no English translation can only be described as "clickable."

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14 words or phrases too subtle for the language that brought you "turducken."


Brave 2: Merida vs Strangers With Boundary Issues (via Behance)

Artist Marija Tiurina has created a series of artworks depicting the real-world meanings of words in other languages that have no precise equivalent in English. The works are available on Neon Mob, a site where you can buy and trade packs of artwork like trading cards. You can't buy each print individually—you buy a pack and hope you end up with one of the super rare ones, and you can trade with other people online to complete your set. In this set, "Cafuné" and "Deunde" are ranked "extremely rare" and only appear in one in every eleven packs. I wonder if some nerdier language has a word for the feeling of opening a metallic-wrapped pack of trading cards and finding a rare one. The best I can come up with is "being-twelve-again-ishness."


This elicits a feeling best summed up as "been there, bro." (via Behance)

Predictably, the comments section on these images involved a lot of nitpicking. Apparently, "gufra" should be "gurfa."


If only there was an English word for how much a full hand can hold. (via Behance)

I wonder if the people who thought they were winning imaginary Internet points were feeling a rush of what I can only describe as "relevant-XKCD-idity."


This word I've heard, usually after "schlemiel" and before "Hassenpfeffer Incorporated."
(via Behance)


English translation: "That part in 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off' where Cameron looks at Seurat."
(via Behance)

We may not have a word for it, (we decided we weren't keeping "tiger mom," right?) but we know exactly what this means. (via Behance)


I bet several people in history came up with a word or phrase for this, but only the French guy made it back to tell everyone. (via Behance)

Whereas someone who is a LuftBnBmensch is just a step above a squatter. (via Behance)

Some Swedes were skeptical about this word, but on the other hand, it should exist.
(via Behance)

Did you ever think this horrible universal dread might be nameless for a reason, Germans?
(via Behance)

OK this one we've adopted, so it's kind of ours now. This one is wrong! HA HA! DELICIOUS OTHER-PEOPLE'S WRONGNESS! HAHAHAHA! (via Behance)

"One day ting here, next day ting go."(via Behance)


In America, we call everything & anything you can put on bread "anything & everything."
(via Behance)

In English, we call this "that joke from that Friends episode that the entire nation got sick of more than 10 years ago." (via Behance)

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