Boys will be boys, but you're getting too old to use that excuse.

September 17, 2013, 8:01 am

≫ Next: Just wanted to let you know that it's possible to exercise and then not post about it on Facebook.

≪ Previous: Finally, inspirational Instagrams that won't make you throw up in your mouth.

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Just wanted to let you know that it's possible to exercise and then not post about it on Facebook.

September 17, 2013, 8:41 am

≫ Next: May your age be as irrelevant to you as your birthday is to others.

≪ Previous: Boys will be boys, but you're getting too old to use that excuse.

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May your age be as irrelevant to you as your birthday is to others.

September 17, 2013, 9:27 am

≫ Next: I want to fill you up like my DVR in early fall.

≪ Previous: Just wanted to let you know that it's possible to exercise and then not post about it on Facebook.

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I want to fill you up like my DVR in early fall.

September 17, 2013, 9:46 am

≫ Next: If you worked as hard at your job as you do at playing Grand Theft Auto V you might be able to afford a car.

≪ Previous: May your age be as irrelevant to you as your birthday is to others.

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If you worked as hard at your job as you do at playing Grand Theft Auto V you might be able to afford a car.

September 17, 2013, 9:59 am

≫ Next: Let's spice things up in the bedroom by making a tape of us deciding we're too tired to have sex.

≪ Previous: I want to fill you up like my DVR in early fall.

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Let's spice things up in the bedroom by making a tape of us deciding we're too tired to have sex.

September 17, 2013, 10:25 am

≫ Next: You have the perfect autumn body.

≪ Previous: If you worked as hard at your job as you do at playing Grand Theft Auto V you might be able to afford a car.

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You have the perfect autumn body.

September 17, 2013, 10:45 am

≫ Next: Sorry the most exciting thing to happen in your sex life this fall is the new prostitutes in Grand Theft Auto V.

≪ Previous: Let's spice things up in the bedroom by making a tape of us deciding we're too tired to have sex.

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Sorry the most exciting thing to happen in your sex life this fall is the new prostitutes in Grand Theft Auto V.

September 17, 2013, 11:30 am

≫ Next: Your driving in Grand Theft Auto isn't nearly as scary as your driving in real life.

≪ Previous: You have the perfect autumn body.

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Your driving in Grand Theft Auto isn't nearly as scary as your driving in real life.

September 17, 2013, 11:32 am

≫ Next: My kid's head lice feel like members of the family in that they're embarrassing and show up unannounced.

≪ Previous: Sorry the most exciting thing to happen in your sex life this fall is the new prostitutes in Grand Theft Auto V.

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My kid's head lice feel like members of the family in that they're embarrassing and show up unannounced.

September 17, 2013, 12:01 pm

≫ Next: I want to see you naked as much as I don't want to see Walter White in his underwear.

≪ Previous: Your driving in Grand Theft Auto isn't nearly as scary as your driving in real life.

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I want to see you naked as much as I don't want to see Walter White in his underwear.

September 17, 2013, 12:30 pm

≫ Next: I have more food in my body than in my fridge.

≪ Previous: My kid's head lice feel like members of the family in that they're embarrassing and show up unannounced.

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I have more food in my body than in my fridge.

September 17, 2013, 1:15 pm

≫ Next: We should have a lot of sex this fall since my seasonal affective disorder makes it impossible for me to get out of bed.

≪ Previous: I want to see you naked as much as I don't want to see Walter White in his underwear.

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We should have a lot of sex this fall since my seasonal affective disorder makes it impossible for me to get out of bed.

September 17, 2013, 2:01 pm

≫ Next: The arrival of sweater season has coincided perfectly with my new habit of eating every carb I can possibly wedge inside my body.

≪ Previous: I have more food in my body than in my fridge.

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The arrival of sweater season has coincided perfectly with my new habit of eating every carb I can possibly wedge inside my body.

September 17, 2013, 5:01 pm

≫ Next: Please don't mistake this birthday wish for any form of potential friendship.

≪ Previous: We should have a lot of sex this fall since my seasonal affective disorder makes it impossible for me to get out of bed.

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Please don't mistake this birthday wish for any form of potential friendship.

September 18, 2013, 5:01 am

≫ Next: I aspire to be the beautiful, together person my Facebook profile suggests I am.

≪ Previous: The arrival of sweater season has coincided perfectly with my new habit of eating every carb I can possibly wedge inside my body.

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I aspire to be the beautiful, together person my Facebook profile suggests I am.

September 18, 2013, 8:01 am

≫ Next: You're the best friend I could ever settle for.

≪ Previous: Please don't mistake this birthday wish for any form of potential friendship.

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You're the best friend I could ever settle for.

September 18, 2013, 8:39 am

≫ Next: I am fully committed to this relationship unless you ask me to go apple picking.

≪ Previous: I aspire to be the beautiful, together person my Facebook profile suggests I am.

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I am fully committed to this relationship unless you ask me to go apple picking.

September 18, 2013, 9:22 am

≫ Next: Thanks for being willing to conduct our entire friendship online.

≪ Previous: You're the best friend I could ever settle for.

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Thanks for being willing to conduct our entire friendship online.

September 18, 2013, 9:45 am

≫ Next: You're as great a friend as you are a terrible employee.

≪ Previous: I am fully committed to this relationship unless you ask me to go apple picking.

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You're as great a friend as you are a terrible employee.

September 18, 2013, 9:58 am

≫ Next: You're that girl who removes her glasses and everyone suddenly realizes you're just as weird as you were before.

≪ Previous: Thanks for being willing to conduct our entire friendship online.

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