Channing Tatum knows how to get funky.

Channing Tatum is up there with Chris Pratt as one of the most down-to-earth, relatable hunks currently working today. He's done serious stuff like Foxcatcher and White House Down, but he's never too cool to mess around with his friends on projects such as The Lego Movie, This Is the End, and of course, 21 Jump Street. As part of the many promotions for Magic Mike XXL—the sequel to the semi-autobiographical comedy based off of Tatum's time working as a stripper in Florida—he's teamed up with Vanity Fairto show off some dance movies. He does some classics, like The Robot, The Running Man, and The Funky Chicken, and he ends it with some delightfully silly voguing. Stop being so damn charming, why don't you.

It's pretty amazing the lengths to which humans will go to make themselves throw up.

This is the Tourbillon, a concentric square-based ride that's just opening up at a theme park in Switzerland. There's no denying that it's a really cool design. But I can't help but feel that this is an awful lot of work to put into into making me vomit at the very thought of getting onto this thing. I mean, the idea of a Swiss company hiring workers, buying materials and rigorously testing this thing just to make me run to the bathroom and spew last night's dinner into the toilet is a bit flattering, but they're really overshooting the mark

If making me physically and psychologically ill was their goal, they could have simply sent me some bad milk or asked a conservative politician to do Simpsons impressions.

A video of the actor "freestyle rapping" turned out to contain a line from a 1999 song.

If you've already seen this clip, I trust you didn't press play this time. Otherwise, you must be a masochist. The actor/weirdo/baghead made news the other day when this clip of him haltingly shouting some extremely weak rhymes was leaked online. It seemed like he'd finally found something he's bad at, but in an honest way.

Now, that illusion has died. It turns out that one of his lines was lifted verbatim from "Perfectionist," a 1999 song by rap collective Anomolies. The news was broken on Instagram by Anomolies' own Pri the Honeydark.

He won't reactivate that Battle MC inner being if he knows what's good for him.
(Instagram via Mashable)

In the line in question, LaBeouf raps, “rare commodity, the quality is what it's got to be, and my philosophy is much farther than what your eyes can see." "Perfectionist" contains the line: “I reckon you want more of that rare commodity, the quality is what it's got to be, and my philosophy is much farther than what your eyes can see." Pretty damning bars.

To be fair, nowhere in the video does LaBeouf claim that he's delivering an original freestyle. He certainly doesn't look like he's engaged in a battle with official rules. On the other hand, I doubt he gave a disclaimer about the line afterward. That doesn't seem like his style. Too classy.

A friendly reminder for the upcoming long weekend: you might be happier whining about your job than hanging at that barbecue. Yes, really.

"I wonder what the copy machine is doing right now." (via Thinkstock)

Writer Derek Thompson just did a big piece for The Atlantic called "A World Without Work." It's an exploration of current trends in American work, and what could happen if technology continues to expand in a way that takes away jobs, but keeps giving us money. Could we all start living lives of fabulous leisure and happiness?

Nope! Research says that we'd probably just watch TV and feel a lot of anxiety and guilt about not working. Great job, America!

Thompson points to a few things to help prove his point, including a 1989 study of Chicago workers. The study certainly isn't new, but it's pertinent:

In 1989, the psychologists Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and Judith LeFevre conducted a famous study of Chicago workers that found people at work often wished they were somewhere else. But in questionnaires, these same workers reported feeling better and less anxious in the office or at the plant than they did elsewhere. The two psychologists called this “the paradox of work": many people are happier complaining about jobs than they are luxuriating in too much leisure.

He also mentions a theory "that Americans work so hard because their culture has conditioned them to feel guilty when they are not being productive," and that "the jobless don't spend their downtime socializing with friends or taking up new hobbies," the sort of leisure activities that tend to make people happy. Rather, says Thompson, "they watch TV or sleep."

If you're getting anxious about not working over this holiday weekend, here are some fun ways you can insert work complaints into leisure-time situations:

• "Another burger? Oooh, think I gotta pass. Just like I was passed over for a promotion."
• "This is a fun parade! Much more fun than the parade of paperwork that keeps crawling across my desk. Let me tell you, one by one, about all of the pieces of paper I filed last week."
• "Hey look, fireworks! Fire-works remind me of work, which sucks, and I would like to set on fire."

"You should never feel like you have to wear this. Ever."

I'm not saying I'm a great, uber-evolved dude or anything, but I have always been baffled by how women were talked into wearing modern-day swimwear. Actually, pretty much most of what they wear, but especially swimwear. Granted, if you feel good in it, rock it. Do what makes you feel good. However, it's undeniable that a lot of it seems designed to make me (ok, my gender, but I'm pretty self-absorbed) feel good. Even "boy shorts," like all women's swimwear, still demand the fabric show me (everything is for me, right?) exactly what the contours of the wearer's body are. Most of my clothing, on the other hand, is designed to obscure and create an air of mystery. "Is he actually a stick-figure with a human neck and head, or does he work out? Could he be fat? Is anyone actually even thinking about his body at all? Am I a false narrator created by the writer? I don't exist, do I?"

In short, thanks for your hard work fitting into this stuff, ladies. You can stop whenever you want, and I won't complain—but in the mean time, don't think we (I) don't appreciate what it takes.

Now THIS is how you do a no-makeup selfie!

Look, in my line of work, I encounter a lot of no-makeup selfies, hashtags, and videos. And I'm always thrilled when the Internet unites to question the unnecessary pressures women face surrounding their appearance. Sometimes a no-makeup endeavor really hits the mark. Other times, even when I enjoy the content and mission, the exact message gets kind of muddled.

That's why I really have to commend YouTuber My Pale Skin, aka Em Ford, for her new video. She hits on all the no-makeup hallmarks we love so much: sad close-ups of a makeup-free face, a dramatic hashtag, a transformation, the incorporation of horrifying Internet comments, and an ultimately uplifting message. She also clearly but simply explains her point: women can't win, whether they do or don't wear makeup (which is sometimes forgotten in the Makeup Shaming War of 2015). The equally disgusting comments Ford would receive on social media in response to both her no-makeup looks and her carefully painted face illustrate, you know, that the world is horrible.

Yet she's able to come to this conclusion:

You are beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you differently. Not even yourself.

This is surely an entry for the no-makeup canon.

It's ok that someone got this first. The title of "Protector of the Realm" seems to be perpetually up for grabs.

Siri is kind of like Littlefinger, though. She'll just agree with you to your face and then tell go someone else that theytotally rule. (via reddit)

Redditor xcrunner11 found a very clever way to seize power for herself by programming Siri to proclaim her the one true Queen every time it talks (or sends an email). This may be a risky move, however. Lords and ladies of the Seven Kingdoms have notoriously short life spans, and it's wedding season, which is the most dangerous time of year for Westerosi rulers.

Here in the real world, this weekend will mark the 239th anniversary since America declared itself independent from "George the Third, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland King, Defender of the Faith." So, of course the most popular show on the most culturally influential network in our fine Republic is about the various claimants to the throne of a kingdom/empire where the notion that the realm needs a monarch of some sort is never questioned. Valar dohaeris.

The most popular show on all of cable, however, is about the unwashed (and undead) mob trying to eat the few valiant people who actually count (The Walking Dead). So, you know, democracy is doing great. Valar morghulis.

Considering that just watching this video gave me an adrenaline rush, I think I'm OK without ever going cage diving with sharks.

YouTube user/brave person Hillary Rae uploaded this video of her cage diving experience on a trip in South Africa, when the cage she and her friend were in got attacked by an 11.5 foot Great White shark. Half of that length is the height of Robert Downey Jr., so this shark attack was basically like being attacked by two RDJs, if RDJ had monstrous teeth and could breathe underwater and very easily kill you (and not just with his sweet bedroom eyes).

According to Rae, after the shark was done with the cage, "The round buoy attached to the side of the cage was bent in half. Some of the lining of the outside blue barrier bar was bitten through as well."

Nope. No. No thank you. Yes, I know that swimming with sharks in a dive cage is safe, and no, I still don't want to do it. Even if it is just two Robert Downey Jrs.

Don't ruin thousands of years of human history by being dumb.(via Imgur)

Loving America is awesome and fun and it's proof you're not a filthy commie, sure, but why is it that the people who tend to love it the loudest are the people we'd most like to keep quiet? With the connectivity of Facebook you can now tarnish the image of Americans faster than ever! Here are some Facebook posts that offer a prime example of how a few rotten Facebook Americans can make us all look bad.

Can't wait for 2042 when people like this are the minority.(via Imgur)

Just barely a thought.(via Imgur)

Being American means being free to decide what each holiday celebrates!

Almost right! (via Imgur)

You stay in "Amarica." It's all yours.

That's only in the movie Independence Day.

Thank God I was never taught to speak "American" then.

Sure, this guy didn't post his own photo, but he's pretty much our national mascot at this point. Even the bald eagle salutes him.

Tom is what the tea party would call a "wet blanket."

Andrew has seen some really huge frigging flags in his day.

Yes you are, and our forefathers fought for your freedom to fuck that cannon.

It's arranged alphabetically, not by most-to-least obese.

We need more fake-hair wearing sons of rich dads who declare bankruptcy
over and over again. That'll put us back on top.

He was with them in spirit. Ghost Abe Lincoln never misses an alien fight.

Shut up. All heroes are instantly American the minute they do heroism.

What'd we just say! He's American and so is Red Bull.
What's more USA than super- caffeinated Kool Aid?

Apparently, that whole "freedom of religion" thing really doesn't make
it into the schoolbooks anymore.

Syd wants something catchier! I vote Welcome Back Kotter.

On Independence Day, we all have our period while eating blue popsicles.

.

Yeah that's Kim. She's our official greeter.

Douglas Legler's obituary in the Fargo Forum is shorter than his own name.

Short and sweet.(via Fargo Forum)

Douglas Allen Legler, 85, died recently in North Dakota. He was a husband and father who lived a long and fruitful life, working at times as a truck driver, vending machine repairman, and farm equipment painter. He was also a singer, and once placed second in a talent show. But he was adamant that none of that information appear in his obituary. His daughter Janet Stoll told The Fargo Forum:

"He said over and over, when I die I want my obituary to just say 'Doug Died.' [Other people's obituaries] would say 'he was the president of this, a director of this' and Dad would say, 'What, couldn't they hold down a job?'"

In the end, it was Legler's sense of humor that defined him, so his unique self-written obituary suits him perfectly. Stoll said about her father:

"He was very lighthearted and had a great sense of humor. He was very quick-witted, and funny. He was one of a kind, he really was. Everyone loved him that met him."

Since the obituary was posted online, it has spread across the Internet. People everywhere are charmed by Legler's words (both of them) and wish they could have known him. As his daughter says, this is a good reflection of the way he lived:

"He didn't realize how much people loved and cared about him."

Now that he's gone, strangers from far and wide are loving him in a way he never could have predicted. It's just too bad Doug died.

An Ohio theater played the horror film 'Insidious 3' for an audience of children.

Different kinds of monsters.(via YouTube)

Five kids in Middletown, Ohio were traumatized by a movie theater mix-up, and the woman who brought them is as angry as a personified cartoon emotion.

Jazmyn Moore posted a story to the Facebook page of the Journal-News about an incident that happened at Danbarry Cinema. She took five young kids to see the new Pixar movie Inside Out, an inspiring animated film about a little girl and the emotions that live in her head. Instead, the theater accidentally screenedInsidious: Chapter 3, a horror movie about a teenage girl whose soul is gradually eaten by a demon.

Then again, both movies are about girls, and they both begin with "Insid," so they're basically the same. Right? Anybody?

Moore wrote in her post that “I got our money back but the damage is already done… my children are terrified and keep asking questions." That's too bad for her, but answering awkward questions is part of being a parent. Sooner or later, their bodies will begin to change and they'll want to know when their eyes will disappear. It's called The Talk, look it up.

Here are the trailers for the two movies. See if you can spot the differences!

What's more American than senseless destruction caused by gunpowder?

Independence Day is often celebrated with fireworks shows because it's just plain fun to watch things blow up. That's partly why we had a revolution to begin with. Blowing stuff up is just part of our American heritage.

In the spirit of American pride, we present this collection of awesome destruction caught on camera and shared on YouTube.

Remember, if you're buying fireworks for your own backyard celebration, pick up some M-1000's to blow up a gourd or melon or just some junk out of your garage.

"Give me five minutes to change into my costume and then we'll have 'the talk,' son."

You know how people always say Europe is way chiller about sex than the United States? With all of our social mores surrounding giant penis costumes, why shouldn't they? The best way to teach kids about sex doesn't involved getting bogged down in textbooks and diagrams; sometimes, you just gotta put on your 9-foot penis costume and ejaculate confetti over young people to get your point across.

A Norwegian sexual advocacy group called RFSU did exactly that a few weeks ago as part of a new education initiative. They hired a 19-year-old college student to take to the streets of a beach town in a penis costume to promote their "Tiss kan overraske" campaign, which means "Penis can surprise you" in Norwegian. Some old people were outraged, but the young people for whom the campaign was intended were very much on board. The guy in the suit even complained that they were, perhaps, a bit too excited:

"Suddenly, lots of people wanted to touch the penis and take pictures with the penis. I almost felt harassed."

Sorry that you felt harassed, guy walking around in a penis suit.

Ah, the early 1900s. It was a simpler time, when men were men, women baked apple pies, and magazines gave everyone information on how to accidentally blow themselves up.

Floyd W. Darrow: Creator of hand burns across the USA. (via Popular Science)

Since the late 1800s, the magazine Popular Science has empowered ordinary Americans to master the powers of craft and science. Hopefully without mortally wounding themselves in the process. Now, I'm all for letting people get dirty and do things that aren't safe (just imagine that I've inserted a rant about how we're overprotective with our children here), but homemade explosives seem... ill-advised. And Popular Science knows it. In their the September issue of the previous year, they published this:

But even though fireworks caused $375k in needless fires (that's almost six million in today's dollars), they thought it was a super-cool idea to give every home chemist the ability to make flashy explosives. What follows are selections from the article.

1. Oh, we're making fireworks at home because commercial fireworks have mostly been banned? That's a GREAT idea.

Also, this produces a mixture with "very considerable shattering force"? Great! That's exactly what I want to be making in my home.

2. Here's a recipe for old-fashioned gunpowder, but don't worry: it's on asbestos for safety.

Old-fashioned gunpowder is much better than that new stuff.

3. "You cannot blow out this flame, once it is started." Yay, safety!

...and of course, the best place to light fireworks is in a dark, enclosed room.

If you're interested in not only making your own fireworks but using instructions that are almost 100 years old because you like giving a big ol' middle finger to safety and technological advances, you can read the entire article on Google Books.

Obligatory "Snakes On a Train" joke here.

This time, the snake isn't just a penis.(via MTA)

The people in this video aren't freaking out about this giant python riding the train, but they're not gonna take a seat next to it. Well, this guy might:

(via Reddit)

Honestly, I'm less annoyed by this snake in a bag than by men who think their d*ck is a four-seater. At least it's keeping its bag in its lap. Or is it in the bag's lap? Either way, better than those ladies with their bags everywhere. Haha, you thought this was gonna be about women vs. men, since I'm bringing up "manspreading," right? Instead, it's polite people versus rude dummies and also weirdoes who let their snakes travel unaccompanied.

Even worse, the new bubble wrap will be named iBubble Wrap, a name that iHate.

The next time you see this mother and daughter reaching into a box, it will be with hollow-eyed disappointment. (via Thinkstock)

There are certain things you think will always be there for you: That dive bar in your hometown where your high school friends meet every Thanksgiving. That girl at the coffee shop who gives you free biscotti sometimes. And the bubble wrap that you pop in the supply closet when you're frustrated at work.

But no — bars close down, people get new jobs, and bubble wrap... well, bubble wrap will no longer be yours to pop. The company that invented bubble wrap, Sealed Air Corp, has announced that it is replacing the classic packing material with a slick new version, iBubble Wrap. The stuff comes in flat plastic sheets that can be inflated by the sender during the packaging process instead of coming pre-inflated. The primary reason for the change is that it will make a huge difference in shipping costs for Sealed Air Corp, since the new stuff will take up about 1/50 of the space.

Quartz spoke with Ken Aurichio, Sealed Air Corp's communications director, who said that they're not discontinuing the classic bubble wrap. As Quartz puts it, "for regular consumers who still want rolls of the regular wrap to pop to our heart's content, you need not worry — the good stuff is still going to be produced." But one of the joys of bubble wrap is that you never know when a sheet of that good stuff will come into your life. One day, a package shows up, and you suddenly have bubble wrap to pop. The magic isn't quite the same if you're driving to Staples to buy yourself a roll.

This is for you, bubble wrap: