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Caitlyn Jenner has a new blog about finally joining the trans community.

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Now she also has a more popular blog than you.

Caitlyn Jenner has partnered with WhoSay for a series of editorials about the LGBT community. In the first post, which went up yesterday, Jenner explains how she's learned so much from her transgender friends and wants to share their stories.

Seeing how my new friends have overcome their adversities is such an inspiration. They are so well-adjusted and smart. I'll be sharing their stories here in the coming weeks and I can't wait for you to get to know them. They are just like you and me.

This is the first in a series of editorials where I will discuss the serious issues and lessons that I am learning through this process. I have so much to discover and hope that you'll join me on this adventure.

Jenner is doing a ton to educate the public about transgender experiences, and she seems to be carefully trying to make all of her appearances and writing accessible to everyone.

Who knew what civil rights activism the Kardashian empire would spawn?


This puppy just found out about air conditioning and can't get enough of it.

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Adorable black labrador puppy does what humans are too embarrassed to do.

Dogs are great for many reasons. They start out as puppies, so that's wonderful already. They don't shoot video in portrait mode. They also have bottomless enthusiasm. Dogs are constantly excited about all the great stuff out in the world, even a simple pleasure like a blast of cold air from the air conditioning.

Although, I can relate. There have been times I've been so excited to be in air conditioning that I tried to eat it.

Kim Kardashian let North dress herself and the result was an adorable disaster.

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Kardashian posted pictures of her daughter's outfit to Instagram.







The struggle is real! We cannot go out of the house like this!!! LOL
A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

Dressing a two-year-old is no easy feat. Dressing a two-year-old whose parents behave like two-year-olds is nearly impossible. Especially when the whole family is also obsessed with clothes.

That's how, last Friday, North West wound up dressed like a mannequin at a Disney Store. Kim put the picture on Instagram, along with the caption: "We cannot go out of the house like this!!! LOL." She forgot for a moment that they can do whatever the hell they want.

Kim was eventually able to coax her daughter into at least removing the Minnie Mouse bike helmet. She posted a followup photo, captioned: "We compromised."






We compromised
A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

If they managed to compromise, they've both clearly grown up a lot. We should be proud of them.

P.S. All hate aside, that kid's really cute.

A woman spent 12 hours in jail because she refused to do her husband's laundry.

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One way to end a dispute over chores is to call the police.


This is how a woman in her home SHOULD look. Happy to be keeping her brights bright!!!!
(via Thinkstock)

A woman in Tamaulipas, Mexico was accused of "causing a disturbance" by her husband. Why did her lover and life partner call the cops? Because she refused to do his laundry.

The 26-year-old man says that he asked his 21-year-old wife to wash and iron his laundry. She refused because she knew he just needed clean clothes to wear to see his mistress. I guess "knew" is a strong word, but if there's a chance your hard work is going to please some other lady who doesn't have to deal with his skidmarks, you better believe you'd be yelling, "Hell no, we won't go... to the laundromat."

According to Fox News Latino, after the police responded to the disturbance complaint, the husband told them that his wife spends her time avoiding chores and watching television. She argued that she wasn't feeling well, but the officers told her it was a 400 peso fine (about $25) for disturbing the peace. She couldn't pay and, shockingly, her husband refused to. She was arrested and spent 12 hours in jail.

This story is pretty ridiculous, but it's also upsetting that a woman can be imprisoned over ironing and the cost of two movie tickets. I hope when she got out she bleached his clothes until they turn into soup.

We're all pieces of sh*t for laughing at that Elsa cake, even though it's very, very funny.

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The Internet, including us, had a good laugh at the expense of this crazy cake yesterday.


Sometimes a picture isn't worth a thousand words explaining why this cake exists.
(via Reddit)

After the above photo was posted on Reddit, it blew up as a hilarious example of a baking tutorial gone wrong. Internet trolls everywhere had a good giggle (yes, including us, we know!) about how insane the Elsa on the right looks, comparatively. Well, turns out the joke is on us bunch of jerks!

The cake was designed by McGreevy Cakes, which does offer free tutorials online for bakers. And that is what it should look like on the left. So far, pretty close to what people guessed, except the one on the right was made by Icing Smiles, an organization that provides custom celebration treats to families dealing with critically ill children. All the bakers are volunteers and the materials are donated. That Elsa was delivered to a child who was very happy with the finished product:


This picture is too cute to handle.(via Let's Make a Cake)

That's the baker holding her creation and she generally makes some pretty darn impressive cakes, judging by her Facebook page. Mea culpa, ma'am. All we can say is you brought us joy with a giggle at the expense of a marzipan Elsa before we even knew about your generosity and talent. Thanks for the icing smiles.

Article 32

Women are photoshopping themselves with male nipples to protest anti-boob policies on social media.

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Avoid being banned from social media by replacing your lady nipples with a set of man nipples.






A photo posted by !.....Indigo (@awaken_the_souls) on

According to Instagram and Facebook's sexist censors, male nipples are perfectly acceptable body parts to show to the world, but female nipples are totally not OK. Last year, artist Micol Hebron created what she called a "nipple template." Micol wrote on Facebook that she "posted an image of [a] male nipple and told everyone to put it over images of female nipples to make them 'internet acceptable'."

Since this serious boob-phobia is still going strong, women are taking this artist's advice and photoshopping male nipples atop their lady nipples as part of a weirdly hilarious protest. The resulting images are as strange and disturbing as Instagram's censorship rules.

OK, time to look at some pics of what ladies look like with male nipples:







This one was reported again. So here it is with two MALE NIPPLES stickers that I put on to cover my illegal FEMALE NIPPLES! So now you can't say shit, this is so fucking wrong and this is not equality. #malenipples #freethenipple #freethenipplecampaign #freethenipple2015 #female #femalenipples #my #body #natural #fucksexism #sexism #feminist #feminism #bw #covered #with #nipplestickers #tydligen #buzzfeed ! @freethenipple
A photo posted by ♀a l i n e n i l s s o n♀ (@alinenilsson) on










Male nipples are so lovely... #freethenipple #malenipples #freethenipplecampaign #nipples @freethenipple
A photo posted by rekha Garton (@rekhagarton) on








'Hebron was frustrated with the way female nipples were hypersexualized while male nipples seem to be completely permissible. So, Women who are tired of having their topless photos removed from social media have begun using male nipples to cover up their breasts.' #malenipples #fightingboobcensoreship #micolhebron #nipplesarenipples ? #weallarefuckingequal #boobs #fuckyourrules #societydoesntmatter #mylifemychoice #hypersexualising
A photo posted by Naddi (@zefislove) on








I dag har vi kjøpt oss nytt basseng, et såkalt Fill 'n fun pool. Min søster nekta å flytte seg da jeg ville ta bilde av det for å legge ut på sosiale medier. Heldigvis fant jeg en #malenippletemplate så jeg fortsatt kunne legge ut bildet. #basseng #dagensinnkjøp #funinpool #splashandplay #malenipples #freethenipple #notfemalenipples
A photo posted by Siri (@siribifaller) on








Don't worry, it's a man's nipple. #transformation #FreeTheNipple #malenipples #inequality #boobies #humanbody
A photo posted by Mary-Kate Ritchey (@marykategrams) on








Yep I find nipples hilarious, I'm sexy and you know it! #malenipples #haveanicefuckingday #nudepicture
A photo posted by Amanda Allander (@manda_allander) on

Jared Fogle adds "nation's respect" to list of massive things he's lost.

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Say it ain't so, you svelte piece of shit.


"Inside me was a thin man trying to get out. Inside that was a fucked-up perv." (Getty)

When I woke up this morning, I came into the kitchen to find my wife at the computer. She looked up at me and said, "The FBI raided Jared from Subway's house today." Thinking my day would be brightened by the spicy zest of a drug ring or maybe even some kind of massive Subway weight-loss fraud, I immediately brightened up. "Nice!" I said, my salacious blogger's appetite whetted like a fat man trying to live on a six-inch whole wheat Italian BMT alone. But my wife just stared at me. And then I knew.

"It was child porn, wasn't it?"
"How did you know?" she asked.
"Because otherwise this would be hilarious," I answered.

But it's not hilarious. It's Jared Fogle going from former obese person to current potential pedophile. He has not been arrested, but he has been detained. Authorities have confirmed he is a suspect. He has not been charged. But, his home in Zionsville, Indiana was raided this morning by FBI and local police, who filled up an evidence truck with electronics from Jared's house while serving a warrant in connection to a federal child pornography case. Jared was home at the time and was seen in the evidence truck. Although authorities will not confirm it, this case likely began when Robert Taylor, then-director of the Jared Foundation, was arrested earlier this year with 500 videos of child pornography, which he was also accused of producing.

Fuck. Well, I will say this. For one final time, Jared helped me lose my appetite.

Who knows? Maybe Jared is innocent. A lot of people are saying this is slander. First of all, that is stupid. Slander is spoken—libel is written. He (I repeat) is a suspect. Here's the thing: if Jared was as cooperative as people say, why wouldn't police drive an unmarked sedan to pick up evidence in the middle of the day? An evidence truck and jacketed FBI agents at 7am does not scream cooperation. Neither does the fact that no one will say that it's just part of the other investigation into Taylor. Neither does the fact that they're looking for information on a business associate on home computers. Maybe his former foundation director just accused him of harboring child porn for no reason. Maybe the FBI just really fucking hate Subway and wanted to get back at their former spokesman. One can hope. Usually, however, having your home raided on a child porn warrant is a bad thing. He hasn't been arrested, though, so there is that caveat. Jared Fogle has not been arrested for the contents of the computers they just took from the house this morning.

If he is cleared of suspicion, I'll fucking apologize. A lot. And I'll eat a sandwich, even though I don't think he gets money from that any more.


Bankers fired after mock ISIS beheading video is posted to Instagram.

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Team-building day ends with several team members out of work.


"OK, now one where we don't look like thirsty bloodsuckers."

Six British bankers are out of work after staging a fake ISIS beheading during a team-building exercise. The video was shot during some downtime at Teamworks Karting in Birmingham as the bank's legal workers donned safety gear. One can assume that the balaclavas, the black and bright orange jumpsuits, and the lack of any common sense gave one of the bankers an idea.

The bank-men pose for a short video where the masked few howl and yell "Allahu Ackbar" and brandishing a wooden coat hanger like a knife. Dressed in an ISIS prisoner-of-terror orange jumpsuit, former-moneyman Saf Ahmed kneels on the ground in the video awaiting his fake death. Ha ha ha ha. Man, it's so funny how that go-kart track has jumpsuits and so do the worst group of monsters currently stalking the earth. Ha ha ha.

Did I not make the comedy come alive for you? Maybe you should watch the 7-second sketch for yourself.

Woof. Don't quit your day job. Because you're fired.

The video was brought to the attention of HSBC by The Sun. The HSBC branch Britishly responded, "We do not tolerate inappropriate behaviour. ... We took the decision to sack the individuals involved. ... This is an abhorrent video and HSBC would like to apologise for any offence."

Now, if the banking world could only do something about the bankers that sunk the economy 7 years ago and made even more money from the collapse. I'm pretty sure that's an actual crime on top of being a fireable offense.

Do you live in one of the drunkest states in the US? This map will tell you.

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Detox.net compiled information on how Americans drink, and the results are surprising.


The redder the state, the redder the faces.(via Detox)

If it ever seems like everyone you know is drunk all the time, it might not be your imagination. If you live in Wisconsin, it's probably true.

This map comes from Detox.net, a website for addiction resources. Detox took a bunch of data collected by the Centers for Disease Control and compiled it into a variety of easy-to-read maps and charts. The results are eye-opening. It turns out that Wisconsin is the heaviest-drinking state in the Union, followed closely by most of New England. The fewest drinkers are found in Utah, which is no surprise (Mormons). After that, all of the least-drinking states are in the South, which might come as a shock to some Northerners who think of all Southerners as drunken hillbillies. It turns out that many more of them are clean-living Dixie gentlefolk.

Detox also put together maps for heavy drinking and binge drinking:


More than two drinks a day is heavy drinking? I'm in trouble.
(via Detox)


Binge drinking is like binge watching except it makes binge watching better.
(via Detox)

Wow, the Midwest really holds its own when it comes to binge drinking. That whole part of the country is redder than a Chicagoan's eyes on Monday morning. But once again, the South is lagging way behind. Even Utah is beating them on this one! I'm starting to get disappointed.

Detox's analysis also made some interesting connections between age, race, and drinking habits. For all of that information, head on over to their original article. Also, check out all of our coverage of interesting US maps.

Article 27

England tweets sexist welcome back to women's soccer players.

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It seems like progress with sports goes at a pace of one step forward and two steps back.

The official Twitter page of England's Football Association.(via Twitter)

This year's Women's World Cup helped spark a much-needed discussion about the gender inequality surrounding FIFA. Whether it's the artificial turf women are forced to play on or the pervy comments about their clothing, female soccer players are subject to discrimination in a multitude of subtle and not-to-subtle ways. You would think after they got third place in this year's tournament, all of that would be put aside for a moment to honor all the hard work they put in. Unfortunately, the official Twitter account of England's soccer league managed to be a dick to them, even when congratulating them.

Upon the soccer team's arrival home, the account tweeted the following:

"Our #Lionesses go back to being mothers, partners and daughters today, but they have taken on another title - heroes"

It's a pretty icky, antiquated way to celebrate the players, who all have different lives and probably don't like to be solely defined by their relationship to men and the household. The tweet was quickly deleted afterwards and the organization apologized, stating that it was in reference to an article discussing the lives of the players back home. Still, the players were probably a bit bummed about getting bronze and the tweet would only make things worse. Try a regular "Congrats!" next time, @England. You have the privilege of having the only @England handle (Shouldn't that go to the government or something?), use it wisely.

An expecting dad did an "MTV Cribs" episode about an actual crib and it's adorable.

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Remember MTV Cribs? This guy sure does.

Bryan Canatella has got a serious leg-up on dad jokes. He's already made a short film based on a TV show that was popular even before the baby he's expecting was an idea in his head. Or somewhere else. I can totally picture his future daughter, Cici, watching this video and rolling her eyes. Of course, we'll all be cyborgs and the sun will have gone out by then.

The Canatellas are kind of famous for their viral baby-related posts, so expect to see more clever parodies throughout the development of of their new family. Maybe a version of Dismissed, but set in the playground?

Here's the vid that put them on the map. And Cici, too, when you think about it:

An honest email from a company's HR rep to the employees.

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"I don't know why it's so impossible for everybody in this office to act like a goddamn adult." (via Thinkstock)

Hello, Kopencky Company Family!

HR here. Look, I give zero shits about what you guys do in your personal lives, but I get paid to be your work mommy because, for some reason, a group of adults can't manage to do things like not steal each other's lunches or touch each other's butts for the eight goddamn hours a day that they're in an office. You people are exhausting, and since you apparently need constant reminders in order to be decent human beings, here are some goddamn reminders.

Company fun run

Our insurance premiums are going to go WAY up if Don has another heart attack, and we can't tell him to his face to stop eating Cheetos (although whoever left him that anonymous note that I publicly denounced, please know that I privately agreed with you. STRONGLY). To that end, we're forcing everyone to exercise with this company-mandated “fun" run that almost all of you will find demeaning, embarrassing, and really just awful to participate in. Except Jill. WE ALL KNOW YOU RAN A MARATHON, JILL. SHUT UP ABOUT IT.

Bring your child to work day

It's next Tuesday. You are all welcome to bring your little shits, except for Stephen. I know you and your pale wife are doing that “no negative reinforcement" thing, but last year, all you said was “Great stream, buddy!" when your kid peed on my aloe plant. Never again.

Vacation days

Reminder 1: All employees who started before July 1, 2015 get four weeks worth of vacation a year; if you started after, you get two weeks of vacation a year.

Reminder 2: It was our jack-hole boss Mr. Kopencky who decided to cut vacation time in order to save money, not me, so taking it out on me will only make me hate you more.

Reminder 3: This also means that you shouldn't yell at me for: not getting a raise, no more free soda in the kitchen, the removal of vision and dental from the healthcare plan, and the fact that Mr. Kopencky will only let me buy a dozen doughnuts for “free doughnut Fridays," so that 41 employees have to rush to be the first to get 12 doughnuts. (Yes, I know there are 42 employees here. Allow me to point you to Jill's insufferable “Gluten Free IBS Runner" blog so you can also understand that she doesn't eat doughnuts because of "the shits.")

Glossary

Some people have told me that the HR buzzwords can be confusing. That's because they're a way for HR professionals to thinly veil how we really feel so we don't accidentally yell “You're a childish asshole!" at our coworkers. Here are some definitions to help clarify things.

“My door is always open"
Mr. Kopencky won't let me shut my door, so you guys can always walk in. But please don't, because managing your dumb problems stresses me out to the point where I've had to learn how to cry silently, with no tears.

“Think outside the box"
You have bad ideas. I put your bad ideas all together in a box. Now, I want you to come up with good ideas. That means I need you to think outside of the box.

“Results driven"
Getting results is your job. So when I say I want you to be “results driven," I'm saying “do your fucking job." Jill, that means do your job, not update your blog. Remember, we have tracking software on all the computers, so I know that you spent five hours researching "grain-free pizza" last Thursday.

The sign in the kitchen

I have overheard complaints that the dish-washing sign I put up is both condescending and passive-aggressive. I know it is, and I could change it to get at the real issue by saying, “You need to do your dishes because everyone else is sick of doing them for you, DAN." I don't think that Dan would like that, though, and he is Mr. Kopencky's nephew. Did I say “Mr. Kopencky's nephew"? I meant to say “Mr. Kopencky's shittiest nephew."

One other thing about the sign in the kitchen

Also, it's pretty funny that the sign is for Dan, considering that I know he's the one who drew a wang on the clipart man on it:

Sexual harassment

Speaking of that wang, we're having a sexual harassment seminar in two weeks, and you can all thank Dan for that. Jill, you are welcome to bring gluten-free snacks again, but I swear to god, if you bring grain-free pizza bites and they're just globs of cheese and sauce, I will tell everyone about your IBS, which you have told me way, way, way too many details about.

Remember, everyone, my door is always open!

Best,
Pamela

Article 23


Article 22

Hannibal Buress's leaked audition for 'The Daily Show' proves he should be the next host.

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He had the look and the charm. What a waste.

Trevor Who? After watching this clip, I think Hannibal Buress is the only comedian who could possibly take over from Jon Stewart. He might not care about the news or want to host a show every day, but that doesn't matter. He's got the It Factor.

In reality, this clip is a promo for Buress's own Comedy Central show Why? With Hannibal Buress, which premieres tomorrow. I'm a big fan of Buress's comedy, but I still hope it fails so that he has no choice but to take over The Daily Show. Or at least Tosh.0.

A review of "Magic Mike: XXL" from a lady who loves male strip clubs.

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Always tip.







There's a #MagicMikeXXL ticket with your name on it. Grab yours at @Fandango NOW! http://bit.ly/xxltix
A video posted by Channing Tatum (@channingtatum) on

The thing about movies is that they're a manufactured cathartic experience contained within a 90 minute time frame. That's what they're supposed to be, I know, but they usually make me feel bored. At the end of Magic Mike: XXL I felt like I'd just done a triathlon! The friend who accompanied me admitted she had similar symptoms: we were dizzy, disoriented, our hearts were beating erratically. We'd really been through something.

It was this same friend that I saw the first Magic Mike in theaters with, and it was her bachelorette party that had me organizing a trip to a New York strip club featuring male entertainers. Hunkomania! Yes, it's called that.

It's not badass or uncommon to go with a party of bachelorettes to watch a bunch of men gyrate on stage. But I think about that evening a lot, because I basically lost my damn mind. I spent hundreds of dollars on torsos and watered down gin and tonics. I followed a male stripper down the street yelling profanities. Luckily, he was pretty chill about it, because he definitely could have complained to the police. I'm sorry, David, wherever you are.

Movies about strip clubs and actual strip clubs are a lot alike, because both are about fantasy. Fantasies are intoxicating, and though the gin and tonics had SOMETHING to do with it, I definitely did things that night under the influence of lust that I would never do just from drugs and alcohol. I licked a stranger's chest. I paid for the bride-to-be to get slapped in the face with a d*ck through the thin nylon of a faux-loincloth.

Magic Mike: XXL understands this madness.







In theaters July 1... @magicmikemovie #BDR
A photo posted by Joe Manganiello (@joemanganiello) on

At the movie, my friend and I held hands, screamed, laughed, and stared bug-eyed at the screen. All around us, women were shrieking like Channing Tatum was spinning on his head in the aisle. The thing about Magic Mike: XXL is that they're not just selling beautiful men and fantasy, they're selling an entire philosophy. Strippers are healers.

The loose storyline is that Mike and company are on one last trip to shake their stuff at a stripper convention (please let this be a real thing). It's a swan song to their glory days and they want to do it up right, which means bigger and better routines and all sorts of shenanigans and broken-down ice cream vans along the way. It's funny and engaging and pretty predictable. At one point a lady behind me guessed the next line of dialogue moments before it came out of Amber Heard's mouth.







@channingtatum I know you see... Xoxo #MagicMikeXXL #amberheard #MMXXLTour
A photo posted by Amber Heard (@amberheard_official) on

By the way, every woman in that audience hated Amber Heard. I don't think that's an exaggeration. She's sort of the new love interest for Tatum. They share some uninspired banter about cookies versus cake that you'd roll your eyes at in an episode of Gossip Girl, but she mostly just whines and refuses to have fun throughout the movie. She's the only woman not immediately creaming her panties and it hurts to watch her suck her fingers and talk about how she's a drag queen on the inside.







@magicmikemovie @_adam_rodriguez #amberheard @channingtatum #MagicMikeXXL
A photo posted by Amber Heard (@amberheard_official) on

Then I came around! Because of that great philosophy: Strippers are healers. These strippers are healing womankind after all the shitty stuff mankind does to them. They're here to make women feel beautiful, desired, understood and safe. Because as sexy as it is, it's a sexuality that's completely unthreatening. Even when Tatum is yanking Amber Heard's hair onstage, you know nothing bad is going to ever happen to her. He "gives her back her smile" and for one second I was able to identify with her and celebrate her.


Maybe too many orgasms can be dangerous?(via BuzzFeed)

That night at Hunkomania (which I highly recommend despite what I'm about to write), I also felt safe, except from myself. Women can rarely indulge in public displays of lust. If something happens to them the world will say they asked for it. The display of male lust is so commonplace that catcalling is considered an acceptable way to interact with a woman on the street, even though they're basically shouting, "You gave me a boner!" at a stranger. A stranger they're not tipping.

So, yeah, I went a little crazy. And the next day I woke up broke and very, very ashamed. I had acted like a total asshole, and though they got my money, it seemed like poor compensation for being treated like... a thing. I'd been a waitress for years and kept drawing parallels in the experience. I hated how people acted like they could make me do anything if they dangled cash over my head and I'd done the same thing to a man times a thousand. WHO HAD I BECOME?







Get em' while they're HOT! Head on over to @Fandango to get your tickets for #MagicMikeXXL: http://bit.ly/xxljmtix
A video posted by Joe Manganiello (@joemanganiello) on

I've felt guilty ever since, but seeing a fun movie about what a great time strippers are having made me forget that bad feeling. I just wanted to go again, because they love it, look at the movie! Then I remembered an old friend who used to strip at private parties. I wrote to him and asked what the experience had been like for him. He responded:

"At the end of the day it was a job and money was the only reason I was there. A lot of my co-workers didn't depend on the money and their main thing was having easy access to sex with as many strangers (mostly married or engaged to be married) as possible with no strings attached."

Oh. Boo. Duh, but boo. No healing pelvic gyrations?


(via Cosmopolitan)

He also described some pretty naughty behind the scenes stuff...I won't get too explicit, but it made my antics at Hunkomania seem tame in comparison.

Magic Mike: XXL ends pretty abruptly. There's a big denouement and a happy ending is lightly implied, but there's no real resolution to the challenges facing aging, lonely, uneducated male entertainers. Overall, it's fun as hell, but melancholy and wistfulness permeate the film, too. Entertainment is healing, because it elevates us from the shitty, boring stuff EVERYONE has to deal with, regardless of gender. You just can't stay up there. I almost had a heart attack from all the moments I fell in love during this movie and it was heartbreaking to leave that world when it was done.

The characters from Magic Mike are elevated by entertaining in this story, too. They love spreading love. I have no idea if the hunks of Hunkomania feel any joy in performing for rabid off-the-chain fangirls. They do yell out, "And we're not gay!" at the end of the show. To quiet my conscience, I like to think they know what a gift they're giving on some level, to women that just need a night off. At the very least, I hope they're making bank. I might need to check it out again to be sure...







Burning down the house for one last show...Tito. Ken. Mike. BDR. Tarzan. #MagicMikeXXL #July1
A photo posted by Channing Tatum (@channingtatum) on

Oh, also, Joe Manganiello does a striptease to The Backstreet Boys. You're welcome.

Donald Trump is trailing badly in a poll between him and this Mexican fruit.

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In all fairness, we've never had to hear the avocado say anything supremely dumb.


A terrible politician, but a worse base for guacamole.(via Getty)

Please forgive me if I make a extremely controversial statement, but I do not find Donald Trump to be a particularly serious politician. There, I said it! Man, it feels good to get that off my chest.

Somehow, despite the endless stream of dumb, racist and just plain weird things that come out of his mouth 24/7, he's still managed to secure himself as the current number two choice among GOP primary voters (a fact I will submit without further comment).

But what about a poll that actually carries a little bit of weight? Like, say, a non-scientific online poll administered via Twitter between Trump and an avocado. How would he do in such a situation. Not too great, it turns out:

Needless to say, this poll is somewhat less than ideal. For one thing, the act of voting for the avocado automatically advertises the existence of the poll to all of your Twitter followers. I'm not a professional pollster, but I think that creates an unfair slant. For another, this is a silly joke poll being passed around Twitter.

That said, the fact that the hotel magnate/reality star is losing to a non-sentient piece of savory fruit by nearly 10-1 does force us to face the completely objective reality that avocados are delicious and Donald Trump is repugnant. Trump's people will certainly have to work on that if they have any hope of seeing him through the first round of primary contests next year.

I'm really curious to see if Jeb Bush decides to take advantage of his own visual similarities with the avocado. I think he'd be a fool not to:


Which of these two served as governor of Florida for eight years?(via Thinkstock and Getty)

This dog had a contentious run-in with his own reflection.

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Be on the lookout—there's a backwards dog somewhere in the house!

I don't mean to alarm anybody, but Gretsky the dog has spotted a dog in the house. Now, we can't say for sure whether this dog is friendly or aggressive, but it's probably best not to take any chances.

For the time being, this dog—which looks remarkably similar to Gretzky, except that all of its features are on the wrong side of its body—remains on the other side of the glass window, where the backwards house is found. He seemed to be preparing to come through into the house proper, but it looks like Gretzky has succeeded in scaring him away. But for how long?

Oh, and while we're on the subject, there might also be a cat that wants to crossover from the backwards house.

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