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Harry Styles ate sh*t at a One Direction show in San Diego.

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If only Zayn were there to catch him...


"I'm falling for you, girl. Literally falling for youuuuuuu." (via YouTube)

Harry Styles ate shit at a One Direction show last night. The band was kicking off their new tour with a show at the Levi's Stadium in San Diego when Styles leaned back to strike this wicked cool pose:


No matter how hard Harry tries, he will never be Fat Joe. (via Vine)

Unfortunately, he miscalculated the angle of his swag and took quite the tumble.

Hopefully he's okay. We all know pop stars bruise easily.


The Internet can't decide which nail polish goes with this shoe. It's like The Dress, but sadder.

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We're really scraping the bottom of the barrel for color-changing objects.

First there was The Dress. Then came The Hair. Now we have The Shoe. What's next, The Sea? The sea is a different color every time you look at it, but it's never gone viral.

14-year-old Ava Munro tweeted this image for no other reason than to ask her friends for fashion advice. She was totally unprepared for what would happen next. The Internet, with its insatiable appetite for color-based debate, latched on to her photo and blew it up. Before she knew it, her Twitter following was more than 8,000 strong, and her image was being shared by websites including Buzzfeed, The Huffington Post, TMZ, and Cosmopolitan.

The irony is that Munro's newfound fame hasn't solved her problem. She told Buzzfeed she still hasn't decided which polish to wear with the shoes, but she may decide based on the Internet's feedback. What do you think? Is the shoe pink or purple?

Also, seriously, what color is the sea? Is it blue or blue-green or gunmetal or wine-dark? Or is it the color of tears for a love who'll never return? I can't believe the Internet hasn't figured this one out yet. The sea has been around for literally hundreds of years! Get on it, people!

Article 24

Fans leak first picture of 'Ghostbusters' cast in uniform.

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Looks like we can assume that the movie will feature a four-person team that fights ghosts.


"We starched your suits but couldn't get the ectoplasm out." (via Twitter)

Paul Feig has been slowly teasing us with details about his new Ghostbusters remake. First, he released the uniforms. Then he released the car. But all of a sudden, there was a dry spell. Luckily, an eager fan managed to snap a candid set pic of the cast in uniform, which was then posted by a Ghostbusters fan site.


What is Melissa McCarthy looking at? (via Ghostbusters News)

Kristen Wiig and Make McKinnon actually look kind of pissed. Leslie Jones looks taken aback. And Melissa McCarthy seems to have spotted a bird or something? Or perhaps...a ghost? Oooohhhh, spooookkky....

Hard work.

Did this guy teach a seagull to dance, or did this seagull teach a guy to give him food?

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Which came first, the taptaptaptaptaptapataptapataptap or the bread?

In the pantheon of great paradoxes, this is right up there with Xeno's brain-teaser about Achilles and the tortoise.* Is this a Welshman who trained a seagull to do a little dance (something birds do to mimic the sound of rainfall on the dirt, which tricks earthworms into surfacing to avoid drowning), or a seagull who figured out that if he dances near this easily-trained Welshman, he'll get bread instead of worms?

The important thing is, it was filmed. In vertical, yes... but it was filmed.

*If the Greek hero Achilles gave a tortoise a 100-meter head start in a foot race, Achilles would have to run 100 meters in order to catch the tortoise. However, in that time the tortoise would have moved forward again, say by 10 meters. So, Achilles runs another 10 meters, but the tortoise has advanced 1 meter in the meantime. If the tortoise always advances in the time it takes Achilles to catch up, how can Achilles ever actually pass him?

Solution: They've both been dead for thousands of years, although due to tortoises' long lifespans and lack of involvement in Trojan wars, the tortoise probably outlived Achilles in the end.

Jennifer Lawrence says she could make recorded fart sounds go to #1.

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Jennifer Lawrence went on 'Conan' last night to discuss eating burgers, falling down all the time, and being casual.

Actually, she talked about The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 (coming to a Gamemakers' lethal arena near you). Conan asked Lawrence about that song she sang in Mockingjay Part 1 that became a huge hit. She proceeded to make a bunch of sounds with her mouth that she said could have gone to number, because people are hungry for those Games. She also said singing in front of people is her "biggest fear in the entire world," and that's coming from someone who fell down on her way to accept an Oscar. You'd think that would be worse.

Then Lawrence did an impression of Cher singing "Believe," which was silly and fun, but wasted valuable time that could have been spent exploring her magnetic friendship with Bradley Cooper.

Seasonal


Key & Peele made a feminist sketch with pirates singing about consent.

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Is it ever okay to joke about pirates?

I hope pirates will watch this new sketch from Key & Peele with an open mind. I know a lot of pirates will probably feel defensive and start making excuses before they even click play. And it's easy to just say that comedians don't understand pirates or the specific dynamics of being at sea. But the attitude these pirates have toward women is commendable, and it should be thrilling for everyone to see an example of pirating that's so funny, respectful, and insightful.

The latest beauty trend among Brazilian supermodels is dangerous and stinky.

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An Instagram recommendation has brought candle-cutting into the public eye.


"Why yes, I do smell like burning hair. Thank you for noticing." (Getty)

In case you didn't know, Brazilians take beauty seriously. They have every right to; in addition to its famous waxing technique, the country has produced some of the world's most beautiful supermodels, including Gisele Bündchen, Adriana Lima, and Alessandra Ambrosio. And that's not even to mention the bodybuilder who almost lost his arms because he injected them with oil to look like the Hulk.

All four of these people are major tastemakers, and when they jump on a new beauty trend, the world follows suit. That's why, when Ambrosio posted this picture of herself getting her hair did to Instagram, people took notice.






Friday treat @lacesandhair @crisdioslaces #hairtreatment #hidratação #multivitaminas
A photo posted by @alessandraambrosio on

Although it looks like Ambrosio is being tortured for information, her caption to the photo ("Friday treat") seems to indicate she likes having her hair set on fire. It's called Velaterapia, or "candle-cutting," and it was originally devised in Brazil in the 1960s. Its popularity has increased recently due to publicity from celebrities like Ambrosio touting its benefits.

Proponents of velaterapia claim that it opens up hair follicles and help them retain moisture. According to Marie Claire, it's taken off among women on the Internet recently. The magazine interviewed Fernanda Lacerda of the Maria Bonita Salon in SoHo, who said:

"It's more effective than a normal haircut when [the] client wants to keep hair length and get rid only off the split ends. With the hair twisted, only the split ends are burned off, so pretty much all length is kept."

But does it work? At up to $200/treatment, it better. However, Marie Claire advises anyone interested to make sure they only seek out candle-cutting from salons that specialize in the technique, because it's so easy for it to go horribly wrong. And for the love of God, don't try it at home.

Velaterapia salons claim that, when professionally done, the treatment is safe for all hair types, including chemically treated hair. We'd be very skeptical of that, however. If you have the wrong kind of product in there, you're liable to wind up looking less like a supermodel, and more like Ghost Rider.

Puppy born with a half a body wins the hearts of Internet users everywhere.

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His name is Bonsai and I want to adopt him right this second.


D'awwwwww. (via HalfABulldogTwiceTheLove)

Friends of Emma, an animal rescue organization in Fort Worth, Texas, recently received a call from an dog breeder in Arkansas about a 3.5 week old puppy born with multiple deformities that needed immediate medical attention. They instantly hit the road and picked him up. After taking him to the doctor, they learned that he had caudal regression syndrome, sacrocaudal dysgenesis, and spina bifida. This basically means that he was born with half a spine, no pelvis, and tiny, nonfunctional hind legs. He was also diagnosed with "Swimmer Puppy Sydrome," which is defined by the following:

Healthy puppies begin to stand at 14 days and have a rather steady gait by 3 weeks of age. If a puppy cannot stand and walk by 3 weeks, the puppy may be a "swimmer". A swimmer puppy is a puppy with weak adductor muscles that pull the legs together. As a result, the puppy lies flat on the floor and paddles around like a turtle. The legs affected can be the fore legs, the hind legs, or all four, although the hind legs are usually more severely affected.

His rescuers named him Bonsai, after a "little tree to be molded and shaped."

Bonsai's front legs have to be extra strong. (via HalfABulldogTwiceTheLove)

Due to his conditions, Bonsai had to get his legs amputated in late June, about a month after he was rescued.


*Lion King music plays* (via HalfABulldogTwiceTheLove)

The rescue organization made a Facebook page for Bonsai to document his progress, in addition to a PetCaring page (it's like Kickstarter for animals) to raise money for the further medical treatment that Bonsai will require. While the pictures are pretty damn cute, some of the captions, narrated in "Bonsai's voice," are kind of, um, weird. Take the one right before he got his amputation:

Welp ~ tomorrow's the "big day" everybody keeps talkin' 'bout... it's the day them dogtah's are gonna' take away my legs.
I dunno' what the big ta'do is all about, they don't do me any good anyways - but Mama's all jittery n' scareda' me goin' to the hospital so I'm tryin' to be real nice n' "cooperative" (as she calls it) so she's not so worried.
I ain't no baby anymore - n' Mama says all I gotta' do is go to sleep when they tell me and wake up when they tell me, then - TADA - it will be all done!
Heck, I can do that - (even though I don't much like naps).
It's been real good seein' alla' my friends who posted pitcha's here today n' I wanna' say thanks fah' the lovins and alla' those dollah's that's helpin' me get fixed up too.
I love you all ~ the Mama's n' me will come find ya' whenever I get back home from the hospital. ::slurpy kisses::
~ Love, Bonsai

I guess Bonsai is a rugged old Vietnam vet from Texas? Regardless, looking at pics of the li'l guy is a great way to restore your faith in humanity. Check out this video of Bonsai in action:

This Hodor costume from Comic-Con has Game of Thrones fans saying "Hodor" (in a good way).

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I see what you hodid there.


Ho ho ho ho hodor.(via redditor ddeverill)

Comic-Con San Diego is going on right now, and that means one thing: cosplaying. Well, I guess it also means a celebration of comics and nerd culture and also a bunch of movie and video game premieres and stuff, but for our purposes here it means cosplaying. Anyway, if you watch Game of Thrones or have read the books, I don't really need to explain this picture to you, do I? If you don't watch or read it...what are you doing here, exactly?

There's not much I can say about this besides "Hodor. Hodor hodor hodor." Also, there's no way I'll top this joke from the thread where the image was posted on reddit:


Hodor.(via reddit)

If Donald Trump really gets nominated, our last hope may be this cat running for President.

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You can vote to put yet another fat cat in office.

Together, we cat.
Posted by Limberbutt 2016 on Tuesday, June 2, 2015

I, for one, would like to see a dog president first. Cats have had it good for too long, and a dog president would really shake things up. Especially right after his baths. You know... because he would shake off all water? Because he's wet, and dogs do that. OK, you get it.

Limberbutt McCubbins is officially running for president in 2016. Nowhere on his website does it say if he's running as an Independent, though knowing how aloof cats are, I'm guessing that's the plan. All the website really has is his slogan: "The time is meow."

His Facebook page on the other hand, includes a lot of things you should paws and enjoy.

Here he is taking a strong stance on dogs:

On this here 4th of July, I, Limberbutt McCubbins, promise to work my hardest for every American. If elected as your...
Posted by Limberbutt 2016 on Saturday, July 4, 2015

Also, Limberbutt is already diving into a negative ad campaign against his anti-cat opponents:

Now is the time for you start to garner political support for me, Limberbutt. I promise all Americans a bright future in the world wide cat industry! Let's go out there and vote!
Posted by Limberbutt 2016 on Saturday, June 6, 2015

Isaac Weis, a 17-year-old student from Louisville, Kentucky filled out all the official paperwork for candidate Limberbutt. The best part is: Isaac isn't even the owner of the cat. He's just friends with it. It must be a very charismatic cat to convince someone who is not his owner to try something like this.

So far, the cat campaign has already been covered by Rachel Maddow, NPR, and now Someecards. My hope is this article will finally make every reader think harder about the issues and not the politics. The main issue being: would a cat get just as much done as president as his human predecessors?

No matter what the outcome, this cat still has a better chance at being in the White House than Bobby Jindal.

The saddest suggestions websites have actually made for "making your cubicle feel like home."

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This cubicle is not my home. My home is my home, and this cubicle is a three-walled low-security prison where I secretly look at Facebook.


"This reminds me of being home. By which I mean, this reminds me of wanting to be home and not here." (via Thinkstock)

We all understand that working in an office is pretty unnatural — the lighting, the extended periods of time sitting and staring at screens, the lack of outdoor air, etc. But all of us office workers are also complicit in a massive ruse wherein we tell each other that working in an office is just fine. It's like when a child asks a group of adults what a blow job is, and all of the adults fully agree that it's a job working on a wind farm. Except instead of lying to a kid, we lie to each other, agreeing that making our cubes feel like home is a good idea instead of screaming, running outside, and burying our faces in the first lawn we can find (or drought-resistant succulent patch, if you're in Southern California).

I mean no ill will to the people to write these "make your cube like home" lists. I've written plenty of lists like this at other jobs I've had, and shit, we need to do something to help our offices feel less crappy. But I find it depressing to read articles that are written with the tone of a smiling Stepford wife telling us how to make spending 9+ hours a day in a beige cube feel home-like. With that in mind, here are some of the saddest suggestions I've seen for making your cube feel like home.

1. Keep animals on your desk.

Specifically fish. Because nothing gives you the comfortable, warm feeling of home like coming in after a long weekend away and discovering that the weekend guy forgot to feed your now-dead beta fish, Catherine Beta-Jones.

2. "Get a cool desk toy."

"Desk toys play an influential role in maintaining the emotional well-being of their owners and may even help relieve some stress." I'm not sure if they're talking about a human adult here or suggesting that you give your dog a peanut-butter-filled Kong. Either way, follow this suggestion and get yourself a "quirky" desk toy so you can relieve some stress and improve your emotional well-being. I assume you do this by whispering all of your hatred and fears about work into the desk toy, trusting that when you leave the office at night, it comes to life and messes up the desks of coworkers you hate.

3. Hang a calendar.

This article's expert suggests that "A simple wall calendar helps you 'get a sense of time,'... you can see the upcoming vacation." Or, if you have no vacation scheduled, you can see endless days of work stretching out in front of you, month after month, like an ultra-marathon of crapitude. That's fun.

4. "Display art that makes you happy."

I'm getting into semantics here, but "display art that makes you happy" is such an obvious suggestion that it feels like a non-suggestion. Who has ever read this suggestion and said, "Oh my god, that's it! I've been displaying art I hate!" or "Art? What's that? I guess I'll have to find some and learn what it's about."

5. Take Vitamin D.

You get Vitamin D from sunlight. You are obviously never seeing sunlight in your cube. To make your cube more enjoyable, this list suggests taking Vitamin D pills. If you ever get sad, take a moment to pen a brief poem to the sunlight that hast forsaken you. You know, just like you'd do at home.

Congratulations


Patti LuPone gives the woman who wouldn't stop texting during her show a very special performance.

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How many times do people need to be told not to text and ______?


Do you think Patti LuPone has time to deal with your bullshit? (via Getty)

At Wednesday night's performance of Shows for Days at Lincoln Center Theater, an audience member was texting throughout the play. She was texting during the first act. She was texting during the second act. And she was showing texts from her phone to the person sitting next to her. Actress Patti LuPone was not having it.

As LuPone exited at the end of a scene, she walked up to the woman, grabbed the phone out of her hands, and disappeared. Lupone told the New York Timesthat at first the woman didn't even realize what was happening, but the audience did:

"Some people gasped when I took the phone. Some people applauded."

I hope future generations look back and consider our society to have a completely naive, uncivilized sense of how to text. Text messaging can be a great option for communicating, but that doesn't mean it's always non-douchey. Like, don't text to break up with someone. And don't text when you are actively watching a play. Most (but not all) people seem to understand that a phone's light and noise can potentially be disturbing, but it's also disruptive to be absorbed in your device when your attention is requested elsewhere. Okay, I'll get off my texting soapbox—for now!—and let Patti LuPone take over. At the next evening's performance, she addressed the audience before the show.

Patti LuPone's curtain speech

We stand with Patti!(Patti LuPone's curtain speech for the performance following the night a patron was texting during the show and Patti took away her phone.)

Posted by Lincoln Center Theater on Friday, July 10, 2015

Lupone has said that this issue (phone jackassery) has made her "seriously question" if she wants to work onstage anymore. Don't go, Patti! We need you now more than ever!

Prince Philip, the Queen's husband, royally curses off a slow photographer at a WWII veterans event.

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Good f**king show, Pip! Good show.

As Queen Elizabeth II's #1 piece, it is the duty and honor of Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh to attend events like this ceremony honoring WWII veterans of the Battle of Britain (Prince Philip himself served in the Navy). It is not his duty, however, to suffer slow, incompetent peasant photographers, and it is his prerogative to instruct his lessors on what they should do, what what!

In short, he's 94 years old, a (notoriously foul-mouthed and gaffe-prone) Prince and a veteran. There's no point in him wasting his few aristocratic seconds on this guy, so take the fucking picture.

These personal hygiene products prove 'Minions' merchandise has gone too far.

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Kotex posted and then deleted this image of a disturbing Minions tie-in.


Minions tampons: for when your period has you feeling despicable.
(Kotex via Metro)

Today is the official release date of the Minions movie, and the little yellow creatures are absolutely everywhere. TV commercials, bus ads, meme after meme on the Internet… everywhere you look, you'll see a Minion. And because they already look like toys, the merchandising tie-ins have been extensive. McDonald's is even giving away Minions toys that will swear at your kids! But even that seems tame next to this bright idea: Minions tampons.

To be fair, the tampons were never made for sale. They were created as a joke by Kotex Puerto Rico, which posted this image to its Facebook page along with a caption reading:

"We're ready for the movie! And you, who are you bringing along to the premiere?"

I'll tell you who I'd bring to the premiere: my kids! And if I had to bring tampons along with me, they would be normal ones without eyes on them. Because I'm not a weirdo. Also, I don't need tampons. I'm a man. But if I did need tampons, I would use ones without eyes.

Since it was first uploaded, the image has been deleted from Facebook. I suppose Kotex thought better of the joke. Or they were getting too many requests from people who wanted to actually buy the things. After all, everybody loves Minions. Almost as much as they love quality, absorbent tampons.

You should never, ever, ever jump into a pool like this.

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There's a reason we have diving boards instead of diving tables.

We are now smack dab in the middle of summer, which means that it is officially Pool Season out there. Which means that it is officially Videos of Anxiety-Inducing Pool Stupidity Season here on the Internet. So, let's kick things off right with a video that illustrates the wisdom behind the old adage: never project yourself off a flimsy table into a swimming pool.

Oh wait, is that not an adage? Probably because it's not the kind of advice that needs to be given often enough to be adage-worthy.

This new invention solves one of beer pong's worst problems.

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For all the hygienic bros out there.


That guy is dressed way too nicely for a game of beer pong. (via Slip Cup)

U know when ur tryna pong but the ball gets grody and goes in ur brewski? Not anymore, brah! Five brothers from Connecticut have invented a new device that prevents dirty ping pong balls from getting in your beer. It's called the Slip Cup. Basically, it's a small cup that goes on top of a regular cup.


Beer pong will never be the same. (via Slip Cup)

The Slip Cup also features flaps on the inside to ensure that shots don't bounce in and then bounce out. Because they add extra weight to the cup, they can help prevent spilling. They are also numbered, which the inventors claim allows you to play "15 new drinking games."


The innovative cup flap technology. (via Slip Cup)

Chase Treibt, who seems to be the brother spearheading the project, posted about the invention on Kickstarter to raise money for manufacturing costs. It quickly surpassed its $80,000 goal. The video advertisement they made for the page is pretty awesome. It's a slow-paced infomercial set to weirdly inspirational music:


Is that Comic Sans? (via Slip Cup)


Foreigners will take pong when they pry it from our cold, dead hands. (via Slip Cup)


I wish I had four brothers to invent stuff with...(via Slip Cup)

Speaking from the perspective of someone who tossed ye olde pong ball around quite a bit in college, it seems kind of cool but also kind of unnecessary? I feel like you lose a lot of the fun of the game when there's less room for uncertainty. But I'm sure there are some garage pong enthusiasts who will be thankful they don't have to worry about drinking dirt anymore. Oh, I forgot! They have thin rims. The rims are thin. Did I mention they have thin rims?


What are the rims like again? (via Slip Cup)

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