There's a joke teasing Anne Hathaway in Amy Schumer's new movie, Trainwreck. But that didn't stop Hathaway from Instagramming her love for the film.

(World's Tiniest Spoiler Alert) In the movie, Amy tells her BF, who is carrying around a charity award he just won, that he's acting like Anne Hathaway on Oscar night. Zing.

Hathaway posted her ticket stub from the movie and wrote:

Dear @AmySchumer,
Don't pretend like when you win your Oscar- which you could for your brilliant and refreshing writing and/or acting in @TrainwreckMocie- you won't tote it around to every Oscar party you go to.
Way to slay,
Annie

What a casual sign-off. The entire note is very lighthearted and fun, which is typical of Anne Hathaway's public persona ever since we forced her to be that way by acting like hateful monsters who criticized everything about her. Only in Hollywood would a woman have to purposefully stop doing her job for a while because people weren't into her perfect vibe. I'm glad Annie is back, and I hope we can all try to respect her even though she's a really good actor who is in a lot of movies.

Schumer responded to Hathaway's note by throwing Judd Apatow under the bus.

I love you Anne Hathaway. I have no problem selling out and telling you that that was @JuddApatow s joke he made me say! #truth
— Amy Schumer (@amyschumer) July 21, 2015

I believe Amy! I stand with Annie! Oscars to carry around all night for everybody!

A protester in Hong Kong was convicted of assault even though she emerged with a bloody nose. (Graphic image below)

They take their protesting seriously in Hong Kong.(Getty)

Protesters around the world really have to give it up for their counterparts in Hong Kong. They've been demonstrating there for years, despite limited success and endless persecution by the police and local government. This story is a perfect example of how ridiculously stacked the cards are against them. It would be funny if it wasn't so depressing. Well, maybe not "ha ha" funny, but more "what the effing eff?" funny.

30-year-old Ng Lai-ying, a shipping company employee, was participating in a protest against parallel trading on March 1 when the whole thing got out of hand. Police and protesters clashed, and in the chaos, one officer, Chief Inspector Chan, allegedly reached out to grab the strap of Ng's bag. Instead, he touched her left breast.

Ng immediately shouted out, "Indecent assault!" She was arrested and put on trial. Her defense claimed that Chan deliberately groped her, and that she had also been pushed to the ground (which is supported by photos of her with a bloody nose). The prosecution argued that these claims were all false. This past Friday, the verdict finally came in.

The magistrate found Ng guilty of assault, claiming she deliberately struck the officer's arm with her breast. He also accused her of fabricating the assault story, saying:

"You used your female identity to trump up the allegation that the officer had molested you. This is a malicious act."

He added that her accusations had done great harm to Chief Inspector Chan's reputation.

I feel so bad for that guy's reputation.(via YouTube)

A 14-year-old student was also found guilty of striking Chan in the chest with his shoulder. (This cop sure gets attacked by a lot of weird body parts.) The kid, Ng, and other protesters will all be sentenced on July 29. Whatever happens, I just hope they aren't given a slap on the wrist. Then they would be accused of attacking the court with their wrists.

It's basically a montage of vague Bondy images. It's like a dream sequence.

If, like me, you love James Bond, then this new trailer for Spectre probably has you very excited. You don't need a lot of exposition to pick up on the fact that (SPOILER ALERT) Christoph Waltz is playing Ernst Stavro Blofeld, Bond's nemesis. What's more, he seems to be a version of Blofeld much closer to the one in Ian Fleming's original novels, which is great news for purists. The version in the movies pre-reboot got a little goofy.

He doesn't like being called goofy.(via Wikia)

Are you excited to see Waltz as Blofeld, or for Spectre in general? Or do you think the James Bond series should die forever? If it's the latter, then you have more in common with Blofeld than you thought. You should get a cat.

BONUS: Maybe as a tribute to the type of plot they're setting up, right at the end you'll catch a glimpse of Andrew Scott, who played Moriarity, the ultimate villainous foil to another British super-ish hero in the BBC's Sherlock:

I'm not the greatest anti-hero of all time, I'm just a tribute.

Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift are in a divisive Twitter feud. If you haven't heard about it, you must be very fancy and have lots of interests.

Now that everything has changed for all of us, let's take a look back at the moments that brought us to this day, as demonstrated by facial expressions taken completely out of context.

Here are Nicki and Taylor at their high school prom. A lot of people don't realize that they first met while attending a secret academy for children who show exceptional aptitude for becoming pop superstars.

(via Getty)

During senior year, the pair started to feel melancholy, thinking about how they'd soon be leaving school, and each other. They could often be found walking down the hallway arm in arm.

(via Getty)

After graduation, Taylor had a blowout at her parents' house. She knew she had invited Nicki, but no matter how hard she searched, she couldn't find her anywhere the whole night.

(via YouTube)

The truth was, Nicki wanted to come. But she knew that saying goodbye would be too hard. So she skipped town on her ice motorcycle.

(via YouTube)

The girls grew up and went their separate ways, as people do. They saw each other every once in a while to catch up, and they made sure to FaceTime at least once every other month.

(via Instagram)

But things weren't the same, and they knew it. Taylor tried to introduce Nicki to her new friends, but Nicki felt uncomfortable when they kept telling inside jokes about being tall and responding to every question by saying "Models models models models."

(via Instagram)

Nicki invited Taylor to come to a slumber party with Rihanna and Madonna, but everyone got weirded out that Taylor kept screaming in her sleep, "Why are you pitting women against each other? Why are you pitting women against each other?"

And so, without realizing it, and without any fanfare, one day the sun rose in the sky just like always but Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift were no longer in each other's lives. They weren't enemies. But no, they weren't friends. Nicki understood. "This is part of getting older," she thought as she shrugged on a sandy shore.

(via Instagram)

But Taylor couldn't let it go so easily. She felt hurt, just as she had the night of the graduation party. And she reacted the only way she knew how: by accusing every person or object in sight of pitting women against each other. Yes, that included all audience members at her concerts.

(via Getty)

One day, Taylor Swift sent her daily text to Nicki saying, "There are 158.6 million women in the United States. Why have you pitted them all against each other in an attempt to destroy the concept of female friendship, which is my life force?" Nicki shrugged it off, as usual, and put her phone away.

(via Getty)

But it was too late. Because she wasn't alone. The person standing next to her had seen the message. And she would not forget. A feud was born. Actually, two.

(via Getty)

See also: Ben & Jen's tragic love story, told through facial expressions taken entirely out of context.

Being at your job probably sucks, so here are some delicious work lunches you can make to distract yourself from the monotonous and soul-crushing workday.

A photo posted by bonappetitmag (@bonappetitmag) on Jun 27, 2015 at 12:52pm PDT

Grain bowls

Best for: Desperately clinging to the idea that you're the coolest person in the office.

Bon Appetit's grain bowls are the perfect work lunch for when you need to feel like you're better than the pedestrian, domesticated jerks you work with. Grain bowls are simple to put together, but scream, "Yeah, I work in an office right now just like you, but we both know that if someone here was gonna go skydiving, it would be me!" Try not to cry when you remember that Dave, the head of HR who wears a light-up Christmas tree tie for the entire month of December, just went skydiving for his 63rd birthday.

Pizza bagels

Best for: Remembering the existence of the outside world.

If your office has a toaster oven, you can make these pizza bagels. Pizza bagels are like a whisper of real pizza; a cheesy reminder that life goes on outside of your office and that somewhere, real pizzas are being made and eaten without you. Cling desperately to that knowledge, knowing that someday you will escape the doors of this office — even if for just a few hours. When you return to work the next day, make another pizza bagel, and keep the dream alive.

Turkey taco salad

Best for: A silent moment of reflection.

If you make a big batch of the turkey and pinto bean mixture for this turkey taco salad ahead of time, you can heat it up again in the microwave at work, then add it to the cold salad ingredients. Cherish the time you get to spend alone at the microwave. And remember, the more you heat the food, the longer you can stand at the microwave. I suggest reheating it for 45 minutes, until the turkey and beans have become hard and rubbery with the heat, and you can finally face talking to your coworkers again.

A photo posted by Allrecipes (@allrecipes) on Jun 3, 2015 at 11:20am PDT

Sesame pasta chicken salad

Best for: Having to stay late.

This tasty, light sesame pasta chicken salad is great for a long day, because it's easy to make a big batch that you can eat for lunch, and then for dinner, and then again for a late night snack. Plus, if you use bowtie pasta, that's fun! You remember, fun, right? Oh, you don't? Better eat more bowtie pasta to fill that sadness.

Leftover salmon cakes

Best for: When a coworker took credit for your work.

Make these delicious salmon cakes for dinner at home, then take the leftovers to work and stick the shits in the microwave. If a coworker recently took credit for your work, tell everyone that they're the one who microwaved fish. Revenge: It tastes like hot salmon.

Summer rolls with peanut sauce

Best for: Not being on vacation.

Ah, summer. That glorious time when the hum of bugs is in the air, the outside bursts with green, and your office's air conditioner is for some reason turned to a frigid 55 degrees. Remind yourself that heat and light exist with these fresh and festive Vietnamese-style summer rolls with peanut sauce. They're like a little staycation in your mouth, and yes, that is the most depressing sentence I've written today.

Our new visual editor @victakespics made this open-faced deliciousness for lunch with bread and antipasti salad from Di Palo Selects across the street.
A photo posted by Serious Eats (@seriouseats) on Jun 4, 2014 at 10:36am PDT

Ad hoc open-face sandwiches

Best for: When you just fucking can't.

This is a great idea from a Serious Eats employee in the Instagram above: Go to a nice specialty grocery, and get small amounts of some of your favorite indulgent foods. In the picture above, the antipasti-salad sandwich includes a bit of good hard sausage, creamy avocado, roasted red pepper, and cheese; but you can top your open-face sandwich with whatever will get you through the fucking day. Macaroni and cheese, a hot dog, an entire Kinder Egg, and your own personal tears? Sure. Bon appetit!

Ben Franklin left something important out when he made that comment on death and taxes.

"OMG you like to poop? Me too!" (via Thinkstock)

Every "relationship milestone" is bullshit, except for one: poop. It's a biological necessity, so it's something you'll always being dealing with during your relationship. But it's also a taboo, so the way you deal with it is indicative of how comfortable you are with your significant other. Thus, here are the 11 stages of poop in a relationship.

1. You don't talk about poop.

Every relationship has to start somewhere. You've just met someone, and you don't want to scare them off with the whole "I have a digestive system" thing before you even get to know them. Totally understandable.

2. You've acknowledged that poop exists.

You've broken the ice, and things are more casual. You now see eye-to-eye on the idea that there are people out there who use the bathroom for stuff other than peeing. Poop is still just an idea — something you've heard about in medical shows or comedy films — but it's an idea you're comfortable with. You still make sure to avoid coffee or spicy foods while out on dates, but maybe you've gone on a bathroom break that was a bit longer than usual, just to test the waters.

3. You've acknowledged that each other poops.

Congratulations! You and your partner have mutually come to an agreement that you're Homo sapiens of the primate order who expel biological waste through your rectums. I know it doesn't sound like much, but believe me, you've come further than a lot of couples ever get. Things are only going to get better from here.

4. You poop around each other.

Instead of clenching your rectum for dear life or pretending to take a shower, you can now confidently said, "Hey babe, I'm going to take a shit" without permanently causing a cataclysmic rupture in your relationship.

5. You talk to each other while pooping.

Pooping is now no big deal. You can now ask your partner whether or not they want to watch True Detective later while all that separates them from you discharging waste from your anus is a closed door. Hell, maybe you give each other status reports on what kind of poop it is and how you're holding up. Relationships are all about dialogue.

6. You poop with the door open.

At first, all societal barriers were dropped. Now, all literal barriers have been dropped. Your partner can come in to take a shower or brush their teeth, or even just stop by for a chat. They're okay with listening to your plops and smelling your home brew, because they're yours.

7. You've pooped in each other's childhood homes.

You don't really get to know someone until you've seen where they come from and where they've shat. There's something so powerful about meeting another person's parents, looking them right in the eye, and saying, "I love your child, and I want to be there for them," and then sealing the deal with a colossal steamer in their family bathroom, preferably below a framed picture of one of their ancestors.

8. You share a toilet.

Sharing food, a car, or even a bed is really not that big of a deal if you think about it. Taking a porcelain bowl, however, and saying, "This is ours" is an entirely different ball game. You've created a home for the two of you — and your poop.

9. You've pooped out a baby.

Expelling your decomposed waste is one thing. Expelling a living, breathing person who also poops is another. You've invited someone into your life to continue in your shared tradition of pooping, someone who will carry it on long past your death.

10. You've kept things interesting with weird poop sex stuff.

Most couples reach a point in their marriage where sex and pooping just don't bring pleasure like they used to. Instead of consigning yourself to this fate, however, you've decided to take a stand against complacency. You've chosen to be brave enough to tear down those arbitrary barriers and combine them. It'll definitely take some effort, but you've refused to live in a loveless marriage where you don't include your poop in sex. You've chosen to open a second chapter and say "Yes" to life. Go you.

11. You're there for their last poop.

You're holding your loved one in your arms as they prepare to say goodbye to this world. As they exhale their last breath, their muscles spontaneously relax as they expel their last pile into this world, leaving you to only carry on with their memory and their assurance that you'll be together in the next life. Pooping together, of course.

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! And cups!

New cup stacking world record by William Orrell! #peopleareawesome
A video posted by People Are Awesome (@paavideos) on May 31, 2015 at 8:50am PDT

You have to give it up for young William Orrell. He did America proud, breaking the world record for cup stacking (a real sport). But if you ask me, his teammates are the highlights of this clip. Who wouldn't be encouraged to reach new goals with such an enthusiastic and supportive group behind them?

If I were one of those kids, I would be too competitive to give it up. I'd be sulking on the back like, "I could stack that fast if I felt like it." That's why I never set a world record for anything.

This is going to be the hottest Bar Mitzvah ticket of the year.

My money is on Jason Segel and Martin Starr winning Coke and Pepsi. (via Getty)

James Franco is having a Bar Mitzvah. That's pretty weird, but James Franco does so much weird stuff that maybe it's normal. And the event is being set up by Hilarity for Charity, the organization that Seth Rogen and his wife, Lauren Miller Rogen, founded to raise money for Alzheimer's disease. So James Franco is actually having a Bar Mitzvah to help people. Have you ever had a Bar Mitzvah to help people? Maybe you're the weird one.

According to Variety, Rogen said in a statement:

“Ever since I've known James, he's been talking about wanting a Bar Mitzvah. We're excited to see him finally become a man while also helping us raise awareness and funds for people living with Alzheimer's and towards research that will lead to a cure. And in celebration we'll also have a mohel and a live bris for James at the event."

It's really hard for me to tell which parts of that are genuine, thanks partially to James Franco's very effective personal brand (bewildering + handsome). Has he really always wanted a Bar Mitzvah? Is there really going to be a bris? Will they really bounce him up and down in a chair? That last one is an original question I came up with myself, but hopefully we'll get some detailed Instagram posts from the event on October 17 to find out some answers.

When a Twitter user asked her followers to bring her pot, she didn't expect a response from her local sheriff's office.

Somebody bring me weed :( I'll pay for it
— Goddess (@Rosa_Sparkz) July 21, 2015

How many times do you think this exact sentiment has been tweeted? A million? A billion? Probably a billion. So you can't blame @Rosa_Sparkz, A.K.A. Jasmine of Jupiter, Florida, for assuming only her friends would see it. She certainly didn't expect it to be seen by the Palm Beach Country Sheriff's Office. But they did see it, and then they replied with an offer.

Where should we meet you? https://t.co/5YjcB0kLET
— PBSO (@PBCountySheriff) July 21, 2015

Bam. If I had been in Jasmine's shoes, I would have freaked out. But she responded with the chill of a seasoned pothead who's long since gotten past the paranoia.

@PBCountySheriff follow back so I can DM you the location
— Goddess (@Rosa_Sparkz) July 21, 2015

Unfortunately, the PBSO didn't follow her, which is just bad police work. They'd almost cracked the case! Jasmine, on the other hand, wasn't nearly done having fun. The more the cops' tweet went viral (currently over 41,000 retweets), the more she seemed to enjoy it.

They called me Jupiter girl on the news
— Goddess (@Rosa_Sparkz) July 22, 2015

I'm famous Yall!!!
— Goddess (@Rosa_Sparkz) July 22, 2015

Famous just for loving weed. She's living the dream right now. I hope she enjoys her moment. More importantly, I hope she remembers to only smoke indoors. She doesn't want to meet those cops for real.

Nobody asked him to do it, but he stepped up to the challenge anyway.

It's good he doesn't eat guac since that would be 106 additional guac charges.
(via Getty)

Mark Rantal started a burrito bowl eating marathon the way anyone starts a burrito bowl eating marathon: He just kind of fell into it. According to Rantal:

“The whole thing was totally an accident. On Monday I decided to get Chipotle and on Tuesday I made the same decision, then got lunch with my friend there on Wednesday," Rantal told ABC News. “We laughed about it at lunch and he asked how long I thought I could go. And that began the thought."

The news story got picked up this week after Rantal did an AMA on Reddit, where he revealed a lot of interesting facts about his quest. In response to a commenters' questions about whether he gets the same thing every time, Rantal responded:

Yep! Burrito bowl, white rice, pinto beans, fajitas and sofritas. Pico de gallo, corn, medium salsa, cheese and lettuce.

I put the lid on, turn it upside down (only rookies shake silver-side up) shake it up that burrito bowl like crazy, then eat the whole thing with a bag of chips.

He also hasn't had any stomach troubles, despite everyone's assumptions:

My bowel movements are really consistent now. After a week there was no burn at all. Smooth and firm for months now if you must know.

Colon strength reading at 100% captain.

And even though he's gained a bit of weight, those were his intentions:

I have a protein shake in the morning, and about 20% of the time I'll eat a second meal, and maybe another 20% of the time have a snack at home.

Over the 101 days I gained 14 lbs. All of which I wanted. I had lost the weight after cutting meat out of my diet and was lighter than I had been since middle school. Freaked me out and I realized I had to start eating more.

And he got asked about the inevitable Jared comparison:

One of the guys I contract for joked that this would be a great "anti-Jared" campaign. Because once I got back to my regular weight (I'm 5'6", and hover between 140-145), I didn't gain any more. The idea was to do this whole campaign where the whole time I was just asking people to stop asking, because I'm just fine. Not healthier, not unhealthy, I'm just fine.

We got a kick brainstorming a few commercials and print ads before realizing that we had actual commercials and print ads to work on.

The funniest part of this whole ordeal, however, is that in the middle of his AMA, Reddit removed his post from the IAmA subreddit and put it in the less-prestigious CasualIAmA subreddit:

Hello JohnMarkParker! Your post has been removed because this topic isn't suitable for /r/IAmA. Try posting in /r/CasualIAmA instead.

He tried to appeal it, and a hilarious discussion over the merits of his burrito quest ensued:

Hey Courtiebabe! I understand and would love to appeal.

The sidebar states that AMA's should be about:

"Something uncommon that plays a central role in your life"

"A truly interesting and unique event"

I feel that my experience meets both of these criteria.

A diet is a central role in anyones life. But further reading shows that this rule exists to ensure that "a person's topic [is] something that they know thoroughly and is important to them." I assure you that my knowledge on this topic is thorough, and that it is quite important to me.

As far as this being an "interesting and unique event," while everyone will have different opinions on what is interesting, I think this certainly can be described as unique.

How else can I go about appealing the post removal? I was having a great discussion and would love for it to continue on /r/IAMA, where I feel it belongs.
Thanks for your time, I really appreciate the work that mods do and don't want to be one of the assholes I'm sure you deal with!

They kept it removed, however, and JohnMarkParker was banished to the underworld of casual AMAs forever. I guess Reddit thinks someone hiking the Appalachian trail, a surgeon using robotics to cure cancer, and the CEO of GoPro are more important than a guy on a burrito bowl marathon. Don't they understand that progress is relative?

I kind of have to take their word for it, because believe it or not, I didn't actually scroll through all half-million clips.

Every once in a while, something comes along that makes you remember "Oh, right! This is what the Internet was supposed to be!" The Associated Press, usually an organization that keeps a tight rein on its properties, has created such a moment by releasing an unprecedented amount of historic footage to the public via a new YouTube channel, AP Archive. Granted, a lot of those moments don't really have proper video names, aren't easily searchable, and are often just silent b-roll montages; but many of them are truly iconic moments in world history.

The AP is based in New York, but it also has access to many British newsreel videos as well, like this one of Churchill announcing the end of World War II.

Although, to be honest, it's the random ones that I'm loving the most, like this one of astronaut Gordon "Gordo" Cooper speaking at the 1964 World's Fair about how he planned to go to the Moon and "hopefully much farther than that."

It's a great clip that captures the energy and bravado astronauts embodied in the 60s, and a poignant one, because Cooper would do neither of those things. However, he will always be remembered as the reason astronauts actually get to pilot spaceships—a fact which prompted me to find this clip:

A malfunction on his Faith 7 Mercury capsule meant Cooper had to manually align the ship for re-entry (NASA's scientists had originally planned on all spaceships being on auto-pilot, which would have relegated astronauts to being "spam in a can" in the words of Chuck Yeager). By drawing lines on the window and using his wristwatch for timing, Cooper managed to angle the spacecraft at just the right angle to avoid burning up or skipping out of the atmosphere.

Which videos have you discovered? Post the links in the comments!

So, thanks AP. Thank you for uploading countless hours of history for posterity. And thanks for making sure I'm not going to get anything done for a while.

Let the hate flow through you.

Pixels is the latest offering from Adam Sandler and Sony to make reviewers everywhere question the point of their job. Unless they're like MovieBob, who has bravely chosen to see this not as a burden, but an opportunity to hone the craft of artfully destroying something that can only technically claim to be called cinema. From calling out its incoherence to the fact that a woman is given as a literal trophy to one of the manchild protagonists, this 10-minute rollercoaster of rage is, I guarantee you, more fun than going to see Pixels could possibly be. Maybe someone should make it into a movie.

Katy Perry isn't afraid to speak her barely comprehensible truth.

She dissed a girl. She liked it. (You're welcome.)
(Getty)

Singer-songwriter-woman Katy Perry just dipped her big toe into the scum floating atop a feud pond.

In case you forgot, yesterday "Anaconda" artist Nicki Minaj tweeted her annoyance at being snubbed by the VMAs in favor of a video featuring lots of tall skinny (white) ladies (Taylor Swift's "Bad Blood," presumably). Then singer-songwriter-patriot T. Swift shot back that Nicki shouldn't "pit women against each other."

@NICKIMINAJ I've done nothing but love & support you. It's unlike you to pit women against each other. Maybe one of the men took your slot..
— Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) July 21, 2015

The feud went viral, with many think pieces about race, the music industry, and whether it is ever appropriate to use that many of the same emoji in a row. It was time for Katy Perry to weigh in, and this afternoon, she did.

Finding it ironic to parade the pit women against other women argument about as one unmeasurably capitalizes on the take down of a woman...
— KATY PERRY (@katyperry) July 22, 2015

Holler! Wait, what?

I think what she's trying to say is that Taylor Swift's "Bad Blood" is a song about her feud with Katy Perry (which may or may not be true), and since T. Swift is making money off of that, she shouldn't claim that it's wrong to "pit women against each other."

Okay, I had a hard time making that clear, too, but it's still baffling to me how many times Katy Perry (and her team of publicists) must have read this tweet through before hitting "Tweet." At some point, they must have been like "perfect, we nailed it, this makes perfect sense. Send it out." Is it any wonder these Twitter feuds always seem to start with a misunderstanding?

I am so annoyed with myself for liking this ad from Nature Valley, which gives us the heartbreaking reminder that our children don't play outside anymore. MY EMOTIONS ARE NOT YOURS TO TOY WITH, NATURE VALLEY.

I find it uncomfortable when companies make ads like this, ads where I agree with the sentiment wholeheartedly, but I can't escape the icky feeling that I'm sharing an ad. That said, this video is poignant as all get-out. In it, Nature Valley interviews three generations of different families about what they do for fun, and while the older generations talk fondly about playing outside, the youngest generation is all about technology. A child in this video actually says, "I would die if I don't have my tablet," which makes me wonder if she knows the meaning of the word "tablet," or if she thinks "tablet" is a synonym for "food."

So, uh, let's all go play outside this weekend, yeah?

You step through the mist — who's there? It's a 22-year-old bro breathing as deeply as he can, while his friends yell "Chug! Chug! Chug!"

Step into the gin and tonic cloud this autumn at #alcoholicarchitecture @boroughmarket #breatheresponsibly
A photo posted by Alcoholic Architecture (@alcoholicarchitecture) on Jul 20, 2015 at 1:39am PDT

British duo Bompas & Parr describe themselves on Twitter as "Jellymongers and Architectural Foodsmiths;" I describe them as "Some guys whose website is broken." They're currently working on a pop-up bar in London called Alcoholic Architecture that features a "fully immersive alcohol environment," consisting of a "cloud... entirely composed of fine spirits and mixer at a ratio of 1:3 and made using powerful humidifiers to super-saturate the air — alcohol enters the bloodstream through primarily the lungs but also the eyeballs."

Yes, that's right, not only can you get drunk by standing in an immersive cocktail cloud, but you can get drunk partially through your eyeballs. The future has arrived, and it looks glorious! Wait, I think it looks glorious. My eyeballs are drunk.

If you believe Instagram (which I ALWAYS do), the bar will also feature an albino snake in the women's room:

We are getting our own Leucistic #AlbinoSnake for the bar #ladies #toilets #AlcoholicArchitecture #bar
A photo posted by Alcoholic Architecture (@alcoholicarchitecture) on Jul 15, 2015 at 8:26am PDT

And because being eye- and lung-drunk is not enough, the bar will also be an actual, regular bar with "elegantly balanced, refined and luxurious conventionally served drinks that guests can take back into the cloud." Is it still considered double-fisting if you are breathing one drink while sipping another?

I appreciate both a good cocktail and a good stunt, so I consider this whole thing, like, 3 points below full-douche. There it is, Bompas & Parr: The validation you've been looking for from a random writer on the Internet.

A photo posted by Alcoholic Architecture (@alcoholicarchitecture) on Jul 15, 2015 at 8:38am PDT