The Lion-y Coward speaks out.

Can't make this up. Walter Palmer dental office morphed into makeshift memorial. Suppose #CecilTheLion in foreground pic.twitter.com/tW59sUuB3J
— Paul Blume (@PaulBlume_FOX9) July 28, 2015

As Americans, we're more comfortable than most developed countries with both hunting and crappy non-apology apologies. But Walter J. Palmer, the Minnesotan poacher whose most impressive achievement in life will be changing the image people have in their head when they hear the phrase "sadistic dentist," has offended even this proud nation of hunters and half-apologizers with his weasely attempt to avoid any responsibility for killing a world-famous lion he had no right (no matter how much he paid) to kill. That attempt to outrun the ceaseless hounds of approbation and scorn took the form of a letter to patients, begging them to separate his desire to snuff out rare forms of life for his own private enjoyment from his ability to competently drill the f**k out of your cavities. I present to you now the letter, complete with my annotations on why it is a weak, stumbling, diseased little antelope of an apology just begging to be ripped apart by predators in the public savannah:

"In early July, I was in Zimbabwe on a bow hunting trip for big game."

- In early July, my mid-life crisis had a mid-life crisis of its own.

"I hired several professional guides and they secured all proper permits."

- I bribed some guys and I just assumed it was Africa so whatevs.

"To my knowledge, everything about this trip was legal and properly handled and conducted."

- I didn't ask.

"I had no idea that the lion I took was a known, local favorite, was collared and part of a study until the end of the hunt."

- I just thought it was one of the other, anonymous apex predators in this fragile ecosystem. Didn't realize he had an Insta account!

"I relied on the expertise of my local professional guides to ensure a legal hunt."

- Did I mention it was a REALLY BIG bribe? $55,000. Do you even make that much in a year?

"I have not been contacted by authorities in Zimbabwe or in the U.S. about this situation, but will assist them in any inquiries they may have."

- I threw out my cell phone. I am a genius.

"Again, I deeply regret that my pursuit of an activity I love and practice responsibly and legally resulted in the taking of this lion."

- Yes, I took him, as one would take a mistress. Then, after he had grown comfortable with my love (and after the guys I bribed tricked him into feeding on a dead animal directly behind my truck), I shot him with an arrow, followed him as he bled for two days, and then finally shot and decapitated him.

"That was never my intention."

- This is literally what I paid a year's salary for.

"The media interest in this matter – along with a substantial number of comments and calls from people who are angered by this situation and by the practice of hunting in general – has disrupted our business and our ability to see our patients."

- There have been consequences for my actions, which is total f**king bullsh*t.

"For that disruption, I apologize profoundly for this inconvenience and promise you that we will do our best to resume normal operations as soon as possible."

- Please respond to my receptionist's appointment reminder calls. She didn't shoot any lions. This time.

"We are working to have patients with immediate needs referred to other dentists and will keep you informed of any additional developments."

- Please don't go.

"On behalf of all of us at River Bluff Dental, thank you for your support."

- Me, the receptionist who hasn't quit, and all the severed heads of animals on my walls thank you.

"Sincerely, Walter J. Palmer, DDS River Bluff Dental"

- Please contact me if you'd like your family to receive $100,000 in exchange for letting me hunt The Most Dangerous Game

If you want to make it in the movie business, you have to take a lot of roles, even if the police have a warrant for your arrest.

If only he could rob banks as well as he acts.(screengrab via AOL video)

Another actor chewed up by the big Hollywood system. You give your whole self to this profession, and the universe says: who cares?

That's exactly what happened to actor/convicted bank robber Jason Stange who recently starred in a low-budget horror film called Marla Mae while the police were searching for him for violating his parole. Jason Stange is a man so dedicated to the craft that when the law said "lay low" he said "NO! I'm getting my name out there. The Jason Stange brand will survive despite the law."

Stange is such a good actor that the producer Brandon Roberts claimed he rewrote the role of "a doctor who does something deranged" specifically for Jason Stange. Mountains were moved to make sure this man could shine in this piece of cinema. And yet, the American justice system decided to smash another great actor's dreams.

So what if he broke his parole after a ten-year jail sentence for armed robbery? I want to see him creepily flirt with a woman half his age who will be covered in pasta sauce (blood) in the next scene! Free Jason Stange, I say!

There are no small roles. Only small brushes with the law that might keep you away from your shoots. I can only hope they show a jury the final cut of the film before they make a decision.

I am so glad that the words 'master class' and 'Kim Kardashian'
were finally used in the same sentence.

#TheMasterClass I think I may do the next one on the moon who's coming?
A photo posted by Mario Dedivanovic (@makeupbymario) on Jul 26, 2015 at 2:06pm PDT

Reality TV star and app-creator Kim Kardashian is widely known for her mind-boggling, reality-bending makeup techniques. So when she teamed up with makeup artist Mario Dedivanovic to offer a four hour master class for $299-$999 a ticket, a bunch of people with too much time and disposable income signed up for it. If you paid the top tier price you even got to take a selfie with Kim and Mario, and here I thought selfies with Kim were priceless.

The fact that people would pay that much for a makeup class is so fascinating and strange. I'd take a class just to learn about who took the Kim Kardashian makeup class. I mean, if you could learn to do this kind of magic, I sort of get it. Sort of:

Get this look for just $1,000!(via Instagram)

I hope everyone got what they wanted out of the class, and that they go forth and spread their contoured selfies all over the Internet.

Here are some highlights from the event:

#TheMasterClass @norvina
A photo posted by Mario Dedivanovic (@makeupbymario) on Jul 25, 2015 at 3:08pm PDT

#TheMasterClass moments. #selfie #MakeupByMario
A video posted by Mario Dedivanovic (@makeupbymario) on Jul 26, 2015 at 1:01am PDT

#TheMasterClass ❤️
A video posted by Mario Dedivanovic (@makeupbymario) on Jul 27, 2015 at 11:26am PDT

The messed up thing is the cat doesn't even eat any of it!

Goddamn cats! I mean, really! I've had cats drink out of my water glass, chomp out of my pasta bowl, and steal my underwear. Pretty much any kind of mayhem a small animal can stir up in a home, my cats have done. But using a tray full of raw chicken as a launchpad is truly next-level life-f*ckery. My hat's off to this cat, as well as to its owner for not immediately chasing it through the house while screaming his head off. Deep breath.

Okay, the real question is: do you think he still put that chicken in the oven? It looks like it's just marinating there... And the heat would burn everything off... It's just, nothing is unsalvageable, ya know? He's definitely thinking about it at the end there. That's when the dude slinks over and covers the security camera with that copy of The New Yorker.

I'm more surprised that those carnival games can actually be won.

This is the least-weird reason to get a partial ban from a county fair. (via Instagram)

Going to the county fair as a kid is fun. Going to the county fair when your dad is former three-time NBA all star Gilbert Arenas is another story. This past weekend, Arenas Instagrammed a picture of himself with his four kids to the Orange County Fair, where he tore up the hoop at the basketball booth. In fact, he tore up the hoop so much that he was banned from all of fair's hoops, but not before he won his kids a comical amount of stuffed animals. The looks on their faces is exactly how you'd expect kids to look after winning those IMPOSSIBLE carnival games (I feel like it's more financially efficient to just go ahead and spend money on stuffed animals as opposed to ever trying to win). Apparently, he shouted his catchphrase "Hibachi!" upon winning, which has inspired me to start watching basketball because that is the best catchphrase ever. Hibachi!!!

We just got banned from all the basketball hoops at #orangecountyfair...every one screamed #theRimsarebent I screamed #hibachi ...#ArenasFamily #CountyFairRockstars
A photo posted by @g.i.l.b.e.r.t.a.r.e.n.a.s on Jul 26, 2015 at 5:38pm PDT

Successful pop songs sound like sugar: easily dissolved and leaving you hungry for more.

Carly Rae Jepsen is an earworm machine. All of her singles smash the charts and have you tapping your toes, willingly or unwillingly. Her new single "Run Away With Me," is no exception, and lots of people are singing its praises. Literally. Other musicians are already covering it and sending it down the Instagram river:

OBSESSED #poplove @carlyraejepsen @mattmanswe @mrfredriksson
A video posted by Tove Lo (@tovelo) on Jul 23, 2015 at 3:31pm PDT

But can it top Tom Hanks lip-syncing?

Or a sick NIN mashup?

Or her original hit "Call Me Maybe," as performed by an insane person on Chatroulette?

Only more time spent on the Internet watching music videos will tell.

You might be enjoying your day in the sun, fly, but know this: The average lifespan of a housefly is 28 days, and the average lifespan of a human in the US is 78 years. WHO'S BETTER AT BREAKDANCING NOW?

Oh, it's still the fly. The fly is definitely still the better breakdancer. Good job, fly.

Yesterday, we wrote about this terrible interview on "Good Day Sacramento," in which Cara Delevingne was harassed by her interviewers for not being peppy enough:

Some people think Cara was a brat, some think the hosts of the show were completely unprofessional asshats. Either way, everyone is going home making a living.

However, Cara Delevingne is making that living as a famous movie star and she has lots of famous movie star friends who are like, "Seriously, WTF Good Day?" It started with this tweet from Cara Herself:

Some people just don't understand sarcasm or the British sense of humour
— Cara Delevingne (@Caradelevingne) July 29, 2015

Yes, "some people." Honestly, I expected Cara to be too posh (am I using that word right?) and above it all to even comment, but I guess when you see fifty headlines describing you as "awkward," you're gonna say something.

So will your budz:

@Caradelevingne or how it's condescending to ask an actress if she's read the book.
— Zach Braff (@zachbraff) July 29, 2015

And I guess Boy George gives a sh*t?:

I do. :) https://t.co/4Uve6kcnPY
— Boy George (@BoyGeorge) July 29, 2015

This is just someone Cara Delevingne retweeted, who has been verified on Twitter which is almost like being a celebrity:

Is @CaraDelevingne "in a mood," or are these anchors just horrible? (A: They're horrible.) http://t.co/4frsmQUJJV
— Kristen Walbolt (@kWalbolt) July 29, 2015

There's also this guy who knows Anna Kendrick (and is very successful in his field):

You get @Caradelevingne to give "better answers" in this interview by asking better questions/saying her name right: https://t.co/LLy8ly75wV
— Jeff D Lowe (@JeffDLowe) July 29, 2015

And Perez Hilton, who will be the meat in any celebrity feud sandwich:

@Caradelevingne This is very true! I learned this firsthand earlier this year! Ha! There's deff a diff between American and Brit humor. #CBB
— Perez Hilton (@PerezHilton) July 29, 2015

I want this feud to end, because it's probably generating a lot of revenue and attention for Good Day Sacramento and they should not be encouraged.

Oh, who am I kidding? I hope they make every celebrity freak out enough to cut their feed, from now until eternity.

We got gross so you didn't have to!

The human body is a work of art when it's not excreting waste. (via Thinkstock)

Have you ever wondered what mystical things happen in the forbidden realm known as the other gender's bathroom? Well, wonder no longer: We got our female writers to ask our male writers about the men's room, and then got our male writers to do the same. The results are illuminating, to say the least. (BTW, we are by no means trying to reinforce the gender binary; our office just doesn't have a gender-neutral bathroom. We're interested in everyone's shit/piss!).

Women ask men.

"Gents? It's like we're in Mad Men!"(via Thinkstock)

Do you avoid eye contact with others?

"There are few things scarier to me than making eye contact with another man at a urinal."

How much time do men spend in front of the sink?

"If men spend more than 4 seconds in front of a mirror in the bathroom, they are almost murdered."

Do you ever pretend you're having a high noon stand-off with your reflection?

"If there is music playing and no one else in the bathroom I sometimes try to lip sync the song in front of the mirror."

Are you ever nervous about strangers seeing your penis?

"I exaggerate the size of my penis by holding my arms out wider than I need to."

Why does this dude look so lonely? (via Thinkstock)

Is it customary to leave a urinal between you and the next guy?

"This is the only actual rule. Yes."

Do you often get pee on your pants and do you put water on your pants and pretend it's all water?

"Newer urinals have less splash-back, but generally the droplets are small enough that if you take your time leaving they'll evaporate."

"Most bathroom stalls have a wall up, which is good, unless they're covered in splatter from pee bouncing off the urinals. The worst ones are the urinals that jut out and have no separators so out of your peripherals you can basically see everyone holding their penises in a line."

What's it like having a penis?

"GREAT (usually)."

Futuristic pee-pods. (via Thinkstock)

Do you get more “guy cred" if you pee on the floor instead of in the urinal?

"I was considered a badass in high school because I used to shit on the floor."

Do you ever reflect on the weird homophobia inherent in intra-men's room interactions?

"All the time."

I heard that some bar urinals have pictures on them to try to help drunk guys to target their stream. Does anybody ever bring their own picture to target, and if so, is it a picture of their dad?

"Traditionally it's a fly."

And now, it's time to switch things up:

Men ask women.

Laaaadieess? (via Thinkstock)

Is flushing tampons down the toilet as big of a nuisance as people make it out to be?

"Never flush tampons. It destroys the plumbing. Once when I had just started getting my period (I was 11!!!!) I got a pair of underwear bloody, ripped it up, and flushed it. There, that's my darkest secret; put it on the Internet!"

How often does someone leave pee on the seat?

"There is ALWAYS pee on the seat. But not at WeWork [ed. note: WeWork is the shared office space where Someecards resides.] cause they clean it every 10 seconds."

"I suspect some of the pee is enthusiastic toilets spewing spray...I just can't believe so many women are that demented."

What is preferred: coating a dirty seat with toilet paper or hovering above it?

"It has to be really disgusting for me to do any effort. Like one time I was at the Brooklyn public library and someone had smeared feces around the entire toilet seat. So I held it."

"If its really bad, hovering. If it's just a little pee, I usually wipe it and then cover it with toilet paper. If there were feces everywhere, I would also leave. Ironically, if there's no pee, it probably just means someone else wiped the pee that was there, so toilet paper is probably still a good idea, but I still think 'clean seat.' Sitting down is the worst, guys."

One woman. One roll of toilet paper. One destiny. Coming 2016. (via Thinkstock)

How do you use the bathroom if you're wearing a long dress?

"You just pull the dress up around your waist like you would with a short dress. The real trick is if you're wearing something dumb like a romper, leotard, or jumpsuit."

If the line is long, is it not okay to poop?

"My feeling about lines are that once you've made it to the front of the line, you can take your time pooping, fixing your outfit, whatever. You earned it."

Can I request this instead of a standing desk? (via Thinkstock)

When you go to the bathroom at a fancy dinner party, do you fix your make-up and smoke cigarettes and talk about the guys at the party, like in the movies?

"I haven't smoked in a bathroom since high school."

"I like going stag. You always meet interesting people on a bathroom line. One time I made out with a couple and it turned out the guy was still in high school."

Men, just before they pee in the urinal, sometimes spit into it, and I find it really disgusting. I guess it gets them excited about peeing to have other fluids coming out of their bodies? I don't know. Anyway, is there something really disgusting that women do right before peeing that scares you?

"That spit thing is the grossest thing I've ever heard."

"I check for ingrown hairs."

Elizabeth Beck is a lawyer, which may make you suspicious, but she sounds much less deranged than Donald Trump:

His hat is his entire campaign strategy.(via CNN and Getty)

Lawyer Elizabeth Beck gave an interview with CNNyesterday, telling them that during a deposition Donald Trump refused to let the courtroom break during an previously agreed upon lunch hour, forcing her to admit she had some excretions that just weren't going to wait. No, not urine. She didn't get her period. Keep going... Bingo, breast milk.

How did Trump react? Like a toddler throwing a sh*t fit, screaming in the new mother's face that she was "disgusting," then storming out of the courtroom and ending the day's deposition. Woo, half day!

Well, this is hardly the worst thing Donald Trump has ever done. In fact I'd describe it as "on brand." Trump insists he was calling Elizabeth Beck disgusting because he believed she was trying to derail the case with the distracting lawyerly shim-sham of waving a breast pump around. He also says in another interview that Beck wanted to breastfeed in front of him, she was in fact desperate to have him watch her. Yeah, right. Every woman's dream is to have Donald Trump make dead eye contact with her as she mechanically presses milk from her body.

His other response is to draw attention to the fact that Beck lost the case. If someone loses a case, they have to sit and stew in their boob juice, until Trump is willing to admit they're a human being. So, forever.

Lawyer Elizabeth Beck was easy for me to beat. Ask her clients if they are happy with her results against me. Got total win and legal fees.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 29, 2015

Oh, well. One day the world won't treat breastfeeding like someone took a poop on a desk! Probably not Donald Trump, he is very committed to being the worst.

Last Friday, Slyva Stoel was about to complete her two-week anniversary working at JCPenney when her (male) supervisor told her that her shorts violated the dress code.

I'd def go with the second option. (via @queenfeminist)

Stoel was shocked when she heard the news. Dhe was wearing a basic pair of shorts that were about as provocative as the summer version of pants suit bottoms. She also bought them from the career section of a little store called JCPenney. Still, her supervisor asked her how long it would take her to go home, change, and come back, to which Stoel responded "probably the whole day" (zing!). She then drove home and posted about the incident on Twitter, with a great double-take:

Boss sent me home for wearing "too revealing" shorts that I bought from the store I work at in the career section. pic.twitter.com/vrAnN4beC2
— Sylva (@queenfeminist) July 24, 2015

The post got a lot of attention, and thanks to the cogs in the vast machine we call the Internet, Stoel opened up a great discussion about sexism in the workplace and problematic dress codes. Seriously, how are dress codes still a thing? Unless you're the type of person who would go to work naked with a python covering up your private parts, you should be able to wear whatever the hell you want.

JCPenney has yet to respond. I'm assuming they'll either let it blow over or release a very stout PR apology. Whatever happens, Stole shed light on some important issues by bringing her story to the public. She also shed light on the dangers of dressing like Popeye.

Do you ever have that dream where you're watching Full House but all of the actors look a little bit different and are saying traumatizing things to children?

Lifetime released the first clip for The Unauthorized Full House Story and it looks cuckoo crazy. The actors look bizarrely similar to the real-life people they're playing, yet they talk with the cadence of characters in The Room.

The made-for-TV movie is about "the rise of the cast of one of America's most beloved family sitcoms and the pressures they faced in balancing their television personas with their real lives." But seems like it's actually just about making fun of the show and indulging viewers' nostalgia for the charms of a worse era of television.

I'm not sure why faux John Stamos is criticizing faux Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's performance, though, when everyone knows Michelle Tanner was the best Full House character. Chill, Uncle Jesse. Don't start a power struggle you cannot win.

Redditor CapnHammered only had one envelope handy when he mailed in his fine.

That'll show 'em.(via Imgur)

Talk about killing them with kindness. A Lincolnshire, UK-based redditor who calls himself CapnHammered (awesome) posted this image on Tuesday with the following caption:

Recently got a speeding ticket (35 in a 30). This was the only envelope I could find, so I felt obliged to dot my i's with little hearts.

Getting a ticket for going 5 mph over the speed limit is pretty ridiculous, so you can't blame him for being a little cheeky in his response. And maybe the cops were reminded of their grief when (SPOILER) Bambi's mother died, filling them with remorse for hurting another innocent creature like himself.

The image immediately went viral, with more than 800,000 views already. And just in case anyone doubted that he really sent the envelope, CapnHammered uploaded this gif as proof:

I wonder what the Lincolnshire police thought when they saw that letter come in. Probably nothing, actually. But at least we all had fun with it.

National Cheesecake Day is finally here, and there's not a calorie to spare on things that aren't cheesecake!

Here are a few ways to make sure cheesecake becomes a part of everything you eat today.

What you'll need: a whole cheesecake...and a little imagination.

This cheesecake was $5.99 and said "Real New York Cheesecake" on the box so you know it's legit.

Let's start with some breakfast ideas...

1. A Cheesecake Danish

The best thing to do with cheesecake is wrap other foods you like around it.

Cut a croissant in half, put jelly on one half and as much cheesecake as you want on the other. The result is pure bliss!

A little jelly goes a long way!

Mmmmmmm! Enjoy!

2. The Bacon, Egg, and Cheesecake

A bunch of ingredients you think won't go well together, but you won't know until you try, will you?

Take another croissant, some bacon, and as much cheesecake as you'd like. Combine and enjoy!

Don't fight it. Just eat it.

I'm going to make these even when it's not National Cheesecake Day!

3. Cheesecake Yogurt

If you're trying to stay on the healthy side in the morning, what better way than with a dessert-flavored, low-calorie yogurt? Except one thing: I've never tried a yogurt that actually tastes like cheesecake. So, what you should do is empty out a yogurt container, and fill it with cheesecake instead! Whose fault is it if the nutrition facts are wrong now?

Perfection.

4. Coffee with cheesecake instead of creamer.

Don't forget a little pick-me-up (with cheesecake!)

Drink/eat up!

Now on to lunch!

5. Salad with cheesecake instead of goat cheese.

Salad is always healthy. I made a side salad for lunch with a light balsamic vinaigrette with almonds and pepper, then instead of adding the sweet goat cheese I usually would, I bumped up the sweetness level with some hunks of cheesecake.

This will get your digestive track moving in several ways.

How about dinner? Surely there's no way you could make dinner with cheesecake, right? Just wait.

6. Breaded chicken and greens in a honey mustard vinaigrette with mashed cheesecake on the side instead of mashed potatoes.

Don't forget to garnish with a little parsley!

Finally, the moment we've been waiting for... Dessert!

7. A small slice of cheesecake.

So simple and yet so powerful.

8. Clean up by using a piece of cheesecake as a napkin.

Have a happy and healthy National Cheesecake Day!

Complex Media had interracial couples talk about stereotypes.

Are they going to be part of a second video about what it's like to look like models?
(via Complex/YouTube)

The video format of "couples sitting down against blank backgrounds and talking about seriousstuff in a lighthearted manner while upbeat jazz plays in the background" seems to be having its moment right now. Complex recently hopped on the bandwagon by having interracial couples sit down and talk about how stereotypes affect their relationships. If the only exposure you get to interracial couples is your Kashi cereal box, it's a pretty funny and interesting way to learn about their everyday life. They all start off with some surface conversation before cutting the b/s and getting to the sexual stuff. Here are some choice quotes, with absolutely no context:

"My mom, she's not so sure about this guy."

"Oh my god, is that what black dicks look like?"

"This pussy is yours."

Watch the full video if you want these quotes to (kind of) make sense:

This is a power jet ski couple.

Jlaw #maniacpic.twitter.com/o5PvHWlxMt
— Amy Schumer (@amyschumer) July 30, 2015

"Breaking" news: Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence are hanging out together. What's more, they're in the ocean. Even better, they're on a jet ski.

Schumer tweeted two photos this morning that seem to indicate she is in a beach-type location with a group of fun women, including our one-and-only most famous actress of this particular time, Jennifer Lawrence.

In one photo, the pair are on a jet ski and Schumer wrote "Jlaw #maniac." As obsessed as I am with the J-Law/Bradley Cooper pairing, this maniacal jet ski adventure looks like it could be a way better movie than Joy.

In the other photo, a group of women including Schumer and Lawrence float on some tubes and noodles. So Hollywood. Can you imagine?

Binders of women pic.twitter.com/7L6Z40xlgv
— Amy Schumer (@amyschumer) July 30, 2015

One question remains: Is this on a vacation, or somewhere near L.A.? Fascinating.

The former slugger will wear women's clothes for a week to make some sort of point that even he doesn't seem clear on.

Getting in touch with his feminine side.(Getty)

Two months after Caitlyn Jenner revealed herself post-transition, she's still making headlines and generating reactions from across the world of culture. Some of those reactions are supportive, some are criticial, and others are just baffling. Honestly, a lot of them are baffling. But this one sets a new bar.

Jose Canseco, former MLB slugger/MMA fighter/steroid-filled balloon man, announced that as a gesture of support for Jenner, he will dress as a woman for seven days. By doing this, he hopes to accomplish… we'll get back to you on that.

Canseco told the NY Daily News that when he first heard about Jenner's transition, he didn't understand it. But then he injected his mind with the steroid of knowledge, and came to respect her struggle:

“In the very beginning, I didn't understand it, so I was kind of like, against it. Once I watched it more and more, and realized what it really entailed, what he was going through, I started supporting him."

Maybe soon, that support will extend as far as saying "she" and "her." Canseco declined to comment further on the motives behind his stunt, but was only too eager to talk about what the process:

“Once it's completely done, I will be dressing up and living as a woman for a week. I'm talking about full everything."

I'm starting to think he's doing this for his own reasons. Nevertheless, it will be documented for the whole world to enjoy:

“The only thing I can do is confirm it. I can't say exactly how it's going to be done yet. It will be done for about a week — it will be on my Internet show called 'Spend a day with Jose.'"

Is this just a promotion for his upcoming webseries? Let's hope so. That would be the most acceptable explanation. Everything else he says about it makes it sound like some half-baked non-joke.

I wonder what I would look like as a woman. Move over Caitlyn
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) July 30, 2015

No, don't move over, Caitlyn! What Canseco doesn't seem to understand is that being a transgendered person isn't about changing the kind of clothes you wear and filming it for a webseries. Caitlyn Jenner went through a permanent surgical change after a lifetime of hiding her own identity, withstanding the scorn of millions of strangers in order to be true to herself and bring awareness to the world. And she's filming it for TV, which is way better than a webseries.

Caitlyn Jenner accepting the Arthur Ashe Courage Award at the ESPYs. Jose Canseco once deliberately rammed his wife's car.(Getty)

I really don't know what to make of this Canseco stunt. It doesn't seem malicious, but it's definitely misguided. I think he's doing it out of some twisted sense of camaraderie with Jenner, and they do actually have a lot in common. They're both legendary and controversial athletes, they both have a lot of experience with hormone injections, and they've both been involved in high-profile accidents in the last year: Jenner got into a car accident that left a woman dead, and Canseco shot his own finger off. They're like two peas in a pod.

There also could be a simpler explanation. Maybe Jose Canseco's mind is addled by years of steroid abuse. Also, incidents like this one couldn't have helped: