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Kelly Clarkson sets new bar for crowd work with casual mid-song pregnancy announcement.

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Now that Kelly Clarkson has covered everysinglesong, she found a new way to keep fans on their toes. Because you should never get too comfortable at a pop concert.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JaV2ml11ZQ

According to People, at Clarkson couldn't get through the song "Piece By Piece" at her LA concert last night, a tune which is apparently about dads. (I was under the impression all Kelly Clarkson songs were about crushes and/or independence, but I guess there's also one about dads.) Clarkson told the audience:

"I was not planning on announcing this, but I'm totally pregnant."

The crowd was really into this news:

https://twitter.com/andrewcurryla/status/634227238972461056

Even the Staples Center tried to get in on the action:

https://twitter.com/STAPLESCenter/status/634227634008776704

Best wishes to Kelly Clarkson, who's going to have to go into labor during a concert to top this.


This horror movie trailer is so scary, you won't want to see the movie.

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'The Witch' is the latest trailer to scare us more in two and a half minutes than most horror movies do in two hours.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQXmlf3Sefg

It may not be causing people to vomit and faint at test screenings, but the upcoming horror film The Witch is generating a lot of hype for being deeply unsettling and scary as hell. In the trailer, at least.

Set in colonial New England, the movie actually takes place decades before the infamous Salem witch trials, and taps into the same deep-seated Puritan fear of the occult that made those trials possible. So at least a little good came out of that (this movie, that is).

Can writer-director Robert Eggers pull off a horror movie worthy of our screams, or will it fall flat like so many toothless horror movies that come out these days? This trailer gives us hope, but we're not making our minds up until we can see the movie for ourselves.

Josh Duggar’s OKCupid profile is even more aggressively vanilla than his Ashley Madison one.

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After Josh Duggar's Ashley Madison account was discovered, people searched his unique handle "joesmithsonnwa" and found this:

:) (via OKCupid)

Gawker writer Ashley Feinberg makes some good arguments for why this free OkCupid profile is likely Duggar's:

"It’s also worth noting that, on this OKCupid profile, “Joesmithsonnwa” claims to be looking for “casual sex” while simultaneously describing himself as a “strictly monogamous” type. “Joesmithsonnwa” last appeared online in September of 2014 (around the same time Josh J Duggar’s credit card stopped paying for the first Ashley Madison account), and “Joesmithsonnwa” lists his location as near where Duggar, his wife, and their three children lived in Oxon Hill, Maryland—that is, until they moved back to Arkansas when scandal hit.

What’s more, his occupation is listed as “politics,” and Duggar was the Executive Director of the Family Research Council at the same time this profile was active."

The photo is also one of the first images to pop up when you Google the words "random guy" and it has been revealed to be a picture of a model named Matthew James McCarthy, who lives no where near VA. Hmm, maybe it was just for the Family Research Council? Field work, you might say.

Not Josh Duggar. (via OKCupid)

The profile has been deleted since earlier today, so either the user was shocked to be bombarded by suspicious gossip-hounds or (more likely) Josh Duggar was like, "Oh. Shit." Hey, you get what you pay for! Unless you buy an account on Ashley Madison. Then you just get what's coming to you.

Article 27

We fail to see the link between John Stamos’ 52nd b-day and this pantsless Instagram, but OK.

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I'm not against this 52nd birthday pantsless Instagram from John Stamos. I'm just not sure I understand it.

https://instagram.com/p/6ktnYBih8-/

John Stamos posted this photo with the caption, "At 52, proof I put on my undies like everyone else... one leg at a time. #mydepends" I think the subtext is "I know I'm in my 50s but check out my bod so you know I've still got it." 

The picture is black-and-white, so it's what's known as a classy pantsless 52nd birthday Instagram. It appears to be staged in the foyer of a home with rustic country accents. In the background, astute viewers might notice the partial silhouette of a man, half hidden by shadows and a coat rack. The composition is simply stunning.

And not to be controversial just for the sake of being controversial, but why isn't anyone discussing that this isn't just a "pantsless" Instagram? I mean, it's also shirtless.

We uncovered a series of intimate conversations on Ashley Madison.

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According to the hackers of Ashley Madison, 90-95% users were male. So who were these dudes talking to?

BOTS.

Millions upon millions of names from the cheating website AshleyMadison.com have been dumped by hackers onto the Internet, and dedicated nosy people are currently sorting through the pile to parse the names of all the husbands cheating on their wives. Or trying to cheat on their wives. It's hard out there for a wannabe pimp, because according to the hackers, there are barely any women to hook up with on any Avid Media Life website:

Find someone you know in here? Keep in mind the site is a scam with thousands of fake female profiles. See Ashley Madison fake profile lawsuit; 90-95% of actual users are male. Chances are your man signed up on the world’s biggest affair site, but never had one. He just tried to. If that distinction matters.

So what are these conversations between horny men and legions of lady bots like? Here's a few ideas:

(images via Thinkstock)

These hilarious letters from summer camp are something to write home about.

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Summer camps are keeping the art of letter writing alive. 

A letter from their dauter. (via Imgur)

Remember when you'd go to summer camp as a kid and they'd make you write a letter home, so your parents would know that you're not dead?  Well, thanks to the mighty Internet (and by that we mainly mean Imgur), people have started posting their children's handwrittennotes online because they're simply too amazing to be kept private. Reading them, you'll wish you were a kid again, when your unfiltered stream-of-consciousness was funnier than anything you can come up with now. We've rounded up the best of the bunch. Be warned: these were written by children, so the spelling is a bit funky. We were going to correct their mistakes and include fancy "[sic]s" in the transcriptions, but then we realized there'd be a [sic] every other word ,so we just went with the original spelling. Brace yourself.

1. This murder threat.

(via Imgur)

I am going to murder you guys when I get home well you mom because you did this to me we had to take a stupid swim test I know you said I would love it but I will never it is terrible. luv ya and please ask me next time so you don't waste 700 dollars on me.

2. This amazing toilet story.

(via Imgur)

The food is good most of the time. We were at our evening activity one night when we came back to our bathroom with one toilet clogged with a huge sh*t in it. Some kid then put like ten pieces of cheese on all parts of the toilet, and someone else wrote "The Holy Sh*t" on a note and left it on the tank part.

Love, Jared.

3. This brief, to-the-point note.

(via Imgur)

 I am having a lot of fun at camp. I am not dead. please send lots of magic cards. I miss you.

4. This letter to a cat back at home.

(via Imgur)

Dear Willow, Meow

Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow.

Love, Jackson.

5. This wedding announcement.

(via Imgur)

Dear mater,

I have married.

Tell fater.

6. This kid, who's not even pretending to be brave.

(via Imgur)

How are you? I want to go home now. I love you very much, around dinner I cry and miss you.

Please Reply or come.

I miss you and I want to go home now!

from Greyson.

(those wet spots are my tears)

7. This fart-filled manifesto.

(via Imgur)

Dear Mom,

Good you packt extra underwear. Since I had diyareeya. It got on my shoes but not my pillow. I'm having fun at camp and learning stuff. I rock and winserfing and kyaking. I've at more push-pops then anyone. I've ate 23 since Monday. Still two days left. Oatmeel is bad mom. Even with razins. I shot a riffel. I'm a good aimer. Can we get one when I get home? Did you know you can light farts on fire? I'll show you on Satterday. 

Love,

W xoxo

PS your spaketti is way better
PSS tell my brothers to have lots of farts for Satterday

37 is the rekerd and I can beat it. Sweet! I went horseback riding and the horse in front of me took 3 huge dumps. Smoke came off the poop. It was awesome. I used my toothbrush to dig for werms. Don't freek out. The guy in the bottom bunk let me use his. It's safe. I don't know his name but he can burp the alphabit like me. A kid named Zack can burp the alphabit backwords. I'm practising that. We put oatmeel in the counsillor's baseball hat. It was pretty funny. 

 7. This blunt statement of the facts.

(via Imgur)

Dear Mom,

I was forced to write this to eat.

Love, Josh

8. This f*ck you to camp.

(via Imgur)

 Dear mom and dad,

Hate! I hate this camp take back you money and send me home! love you! 

love, 

Julia

9. This list of demands.

(via Imgur)

mom (help from dad)

I am going to give very specific directions in the letter so pay attention.

1st: can you go to amazon.com and look up "lokai" bracelets and buy me 2 and send them to my camp address. Thx

2nd: everyone's moms are sneaking them candy through their packages so can you please send me lots of candy but Hide it in the box Caylee! My counselor is even helping the kids sneak it in but chocolate will melt. Thanks 

Love you,

Caylee

oh and preferably ASAP

Couple fleeing wildfire area left a really nice note on their house for firefighters.

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There are wildfires sweeping through northern Washington, and these people realized what is important in life: staying alive. 

https://www.facebook.com/KHQLocalNews/posts/1034778539887002

The sign above was found outside a home in Twisp, Washington, where wildfires have claimed the lives of three firefighters. This heartwarming sign was left by Bruce + Mo to let firefighters know that theirs is just an empty house, not worth risking young men's lives to save. Remember, a house is just a giant material thing.


Nice things people have said to me vs. what my anxiety thinks they actually said.

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I like believing in basic human good, and that most people are trustworthy and honest. My anxiety, however, assumes that everyone is a James Frey-caliber liar that harbors a secret hatred of me.

"I thought you guys were my friends, and then you complimented me! HOW COULD YOU?" (via Thinkstock)

Here are some very nice, or at least very benign, things people have said to me and how my anxiety interpreted them.

“I love those boots.” — Acquaintance

What my anxiety thinks she said: I can’t think of anything nice to say about you as a person, so I’m going to compliment your boots, which somebody else designed and made, and you just chose to put on.

“I’ve really seen improvement in your work. Good job!” — My boss

What my anxiety thinks they said: But I remember your mediocre old work, and if you backslide just once, I am going to fire you. Actually, I'm not just going to fire you. I'm going to wait until your birthday, have everyone in the office sign a card where they write down what they hate about you, and pretend to hold a birthday party for you that's actually a "f*ck you; you're fired" party. There will be a cake, and you won't be allowed to have any, but you also won't be allowed to leave until you watch everyone else eat the cake.

“Cheers.” My boyfriend, at the end of a phone call

What my anxiety thinks he said: That’s how he ends business phone calls. Oh my god, this call is the first sign that I’m being downgraded from a girlfriend to a business interest. He’s going to break up with me when he gets home tonight. Oh shit. Maybe he’s already broken up with me via email, and I just haven’t checked it. If I never check my email again, can he never breakup with me? I better text everyone I know and let them know they can only contact me via phone and text from now on.

"Are you OK, ma'am? All I said was 'I like your haircut.'" (via Thinkstock)

“That was a great comedy show. I loved the part about the hospital clown.” — Someone talking to me after seeing a show I wrote

What my anxiety thinks they said: I hated your show, but I don’t have the guts to tell you to your face. I especially hated that part about the hospital clown, but I’m telling you I liked it because I’m hoping that you know it was one of the weakest pieces in the show. Then, if you correctly deduce that I couldn’t possibly like that bit, you’ll know that I hated the whole show, but I’m just trying to protect your delicate little ego, which I assume is as weak as a sparrow’s hollow bones. 

P.S. — Don’t quit your day job. Oh wait, you won’t have to, because I bet you’ll get fired the first time you backslide.

“...” (silence) — Anyone, anywhere, anytime

What my anxiety thinks they said: YOU ARE TERRIBLE AND THERE IS FOOD ON YOUR SHIRT RIGHT NOW BUT I AM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT.

Article 21

Article 20

Ben Affleck looking sad on the Dumbo ride at Disney World will make you happy.

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Ben has joined the illustrious club of celebrities photographed looking sad in happy places.

Some mama elephant needs to rock him to sleep with her trunk.
(via Tumblr)

Despite his recent separation and infidelity scandal, Ben Affleck still has a cordial relationship with his ex, Jennifer Garner. This past weekend, the two took their kids on a trip to Disney World to celebrate Ben's 43rd birthday. In most of the pictures, he seemed to be having a good time, except for this one gem taken when the family was on the Dumbo ride.

Don't get us wrong – we're sure he's having a rough time and we don't take any pleasure in his pain. It's just a pleasure to see a celebrity's larger-than-life face look so downtrodden in such an incongruously happy atmosphere. I mean, he's on the Dumbo ride! Come on.

Here are a few more sad celebrity pics to brighten your day:

Sad Billy Corgan at Disneyland
Sad Kanye West waiting to zip-line
Sad Keanu Reeves gets 3D-printed

Incidentally, the picture above comes from a great Tumblr, appropriately called Ben Affleck Looking Sad. If this has just whetted your appetite for more quality Sadfleck pics, head on over there to get your fill. It should tide you over until Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, which promises to feature some serious Affleck moping.

5 reasons you shouldn't feel ashamed for rocking a pair of cargo shorts.

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It's time to end cargo-short-shaming.

(via Amazon)

It seems like every summer someone puts together an article damning the most comfortable article of clothing in a man's wardrobe: the cargo short. They're not cool. They look dumb. They're for dads. While there are heroes like, sigh, Carson Daly coming to our defense, the cargo short wearer is always forced back on their heels as a social pariah. Well, forget that.

Here are 5 reasons you shouldn't feel ashamed for rocking a pair of cargo shorts. 

1. Cargo shorts are indestructible.

(via Pose/YouTube)

When the weekend comes around, I like to grab one of the pairs of cargo shorts I bought 10 years ago. Cargo shorts have never betrayed me and I'm not going to betray them. I have no scientific evidence or consumer reports to show that the material is tougher than regular shorts but next time you're at Target, feel the difference. The cargo short is a thick, strong article of clothing. You can't just tack on extra side pockets without the foundation being strong. And in the unlikely event that you are able to tear your cargo shorts, what bad ass superhero stuff were you doing anyway?

2. Cargo shorts are low-maintenance.

(via GreggMP/flickr)

I have two kids. I don't have a ton of time to iron my shorts. Fashionable shorts are a nice idea but it's the summer. If I'm doing anything where I have to dress up, I'll wear pants like an adult. The rest of the time, cargo shorts, clean or dirty, will do. In fact, my favorite cargo shorts are scarred with reminders of productivity. Whether it's paint or grease from fixing my car (or from the wrench my dad handed me while he fixed my car), cargo shorts say, "I may not look cool but I was too busy doing stuff to notice."

3. Cargo shorts are protective.

(via istolethetv/Flickr)

I've never once had to put sunblock on my legs anywhere above my knees and that's all thanks to cargo shorts. If I'm sitting in a chair, relaxing at a barbecue, I don't have to worry about my pasty thighs roasting because my cargo shorts are there to protect. Likewise, if I go for a hike on a weekend, I don't have to worry about embarrassing myself at work on Monday with some unconscious thigh scratching because my fashionable, extra-pocket-free shorts exposed some skin for mosquitoes. 

4. Cargo shorts are practical.

(via Isaac Wedin/Flickr)

Sunblock, bug spray, sunglasses, wallet, phone, wife's wallet, wife's phone, sippy cups, snacks, keys, deodorant (that one might just be me). These are all things I can carry on me at one time because of my cargo shorts and you wouldn't even notice. If the biggest complaint about cargo shorts is that the cargo pockets are unsightly and serve no purpose, try giving them purpose. Don't lose the utility of coat pockets just because it's too hot for a coat. There's no limit to what I'll shove in a cargo pocket. I'm like a kangaroo.

5. Lastly, cargo shorts are for dads.

(via Seth Sawyers/Flickr)

Besides the utility of being able to discreetly carry diapers, wipes, pacifiers, sippy cups, toys, blankies, teddy bears, etc., little kids also hand you stuff all day long. Rocks, leaves, acorns, more rocks: there is no limit to what they will find amazing enough to pick up and give to you to carry for them. Also, despite having limited bandwidth in their brain, they almost always have total recall for every seemingly insignificant thing they've given you, and unless you're willing to face the meltdown that comes from not having that really cool rock that you threw on the ground, a cargo pocket is a great place to store their treasures. 

So go easy on cargo shorts, people. They may not be the coolest article of clothing, but as an adult, you should know there are more important things in life than looking cool.  

This guy made his family vacation tolerable by turning it into a rap video.

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Hip-hop isn't dead.

"Stepmom" would actually be a great rap name. (via YouTube/Travis Henning)

Travis Henning was forced to a spend a day tubing with his family on Lake Charles during their vacation. Tubing is both hazardous and requires a degree of coordination, and everyone knows doing something that involves either of those things with your family can be hell. So, naturally, they started arguing. Travis wasn't going to let that ruin his day, though. Instead of just sulking in the cabin, he filmed their exploits, and with the help of a rap song and some editing software, turned his footage into a hip-hop video. His step-mom kept yelling "slow down," so he set the video to Clyde Carson's song "Slow Down" (feat. Mama Gin). It's a pretty amazing mash-up that will remind you why your family stopped vacationing. 

Josh Duggar on being the biggest hypocrite ever: "I have been the biggest hypocrite ever."

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Josh Duggar may not know how to be a spokesman for Christian values, but his reading comprehension skills are A-OK.


Josh Duggar and his wife Anna announcing the birth of their daughter Meredith in July, two months after closing his Ashley Madison account in the wake of his molestation scandal. (via Josh Duggar)

In the wake of revelations about his shockingly boring Ashley Madison accounts (he had two) and his even-more-vanilla OKCupid account, Josh Duggar had the unenviable task of looking at this evidence (we won't even get into his prior molestation scandal) and having to decide whether or not he was a huge, unrepentant hypocrite. This morning, he issued a press release on the subject:

I have been the biggest hypocrite ever. While espousing faith and family values, I have secretly over the last several years been viewing pornography on the internet and this became a secret addiction and I became unfaithful to my wife.

I am so ashamed of the double life that I have been living and am grieved for the hurt, pain and disgrace my sin has caused my wife and family, and most of all Jesus and all those who profess faith in Him.

I brought hurt and a reproach to my family, close friends and the fans of our show with my actions that happened when I was 14-15 years old, and now I have re-broken their trust.

The last few years, while publicly stating I was fighting against immorality in our country, I was hiding my own personal failings.

As I am learning the hard way, we have the freedom to choose to our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences. I deeply regret all hurt I have caused so many by being such a bad example.

I humbly ask for your forgiveness. Please pray for my precious wife Anna and our family during this time.

Josh Duggar

Well, he's definitely a gigantic hypocrite, although it must be said he is the literal definition of repentant. That's the nice thing about God, I suppose. He takes the long view on things. Sure, Josh Duggar used his fame to become a political operative as executive director of the Family Research Council, advocating against marriage equality and trying to keep loving couples from partaking in the same social contract he repeatedly and unabashedly violated, but God has seen a lot of shit. His wife Anna, on the other hand, has probably never met anyone worse than Josh. So, we'll see how her mercy and redemption plays out in all of this.

Related: We uncovered a series of intimate conversations on Ashley Madison.

He also hits the "blame pornography" note pretty hard, which is a favorite among certain circles. While I'm not saying porn is good for marriages, I am saying looking at porn is by a gigantic margin the least bad thing he's been accused of doing. Stick to the porn, Josh. It may soon be all you have.


Biting bugs are swarming at Burning Man. Are they high, or what?

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Gnarly news, brah. Burning man is crawling with insects and they're harshing everyone's buzz.

https://twitter.com/khloestarr/status/633589760309653504/photo/1

Festivities for 2015's Burning man celebration in the Nevada desert don't start until August 30th, but the people setting up have some advice: pack bug spray. Everyone is getting bitten all over by mysterious stinging insects who have no respect for the Burners trying to connect with Mother Earth by dropping acid and succumbing to heat stroke.

https://twitter.com/CLoungebrc/status/633789214987956224

The enterprising folks over at Gizmodo delved into their field guides and figured out what these little arthropod ravers probably are: an exciting melange of "seed bugs" and "stink bugs" from the Pentatomidae family. So they bite AND stink! Yummy. They're probably just swarming through because they're having a huge population outbreak. These species tend to feed on the moisture in weeds (heh heh), and occasionally there are a lot of weeds (heh heh), which creates a lot of bugs. Here's some more description:

Landing occasionally upon people they may seek moisture by inserting their proboscis into the skin - i.e. they bite and can be rather annoying! They soon move on and do not persist, for blood is not their preferred meal. 

Good news, everyone! The insects are biting you because they're thirsty for water, not blood. Now, who has the drugs?

Playboy ranked the sexiest cities in America, so you can see how much your neighbors do it.

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The ranking includes data from Ashley Madison, so you know it's 100% accurate and trustworthy.

New York, NY: If you can have sex here, you can have sex anywhere. (via Thinkstock)

Playboy, the company that somehow maintains an air of classiness despite 10,000 reasons that it's skeevy, has released a list of the 25 sexiest cities in America. Or, as far as I can figure out, it has released a list of cities with the most walkable nightlife, which they say translates to more opportunities to get tore up and bone. If walkability is what makes a place sexy, then my parents' 55+ housing development in Florida is sexier than Hef's bedroom.* 

OK, so there are a few other elements that went into Playboy's ratings, including frequency of sex, length of sexual congress, interest in kink, money spent on sex toys, and that good ol' Ashely Madison info. That includes nuggets like this one, for Phoenix, AZ: "Ashley Madison says 33 percent of its female members here are on the prowl for somebody else’s husband — the highest rate in the U.S. Plus, Phoenix mistresses rack up five partners a year on average, double the rate anywhere else." Considering that most of the women on the site were fake, and the site was 90-95% men, maybe you wanna take that part out, Playboy?

Like so many of these "the most X cities in America" lists, it's basically just "Hey, guys, we put the biggest cities in America in a different order. Take a look!" But they do pull in some interesting details, Like, people in Miami like having sex in cars more than any other city in the country. I presume this is just because Miami is so muggy that people don't want to get out of their air-conditioned cars in order to plow someone.

"21% of men in Pittsburgh like penetrating their partner while they eat cake." — an Ashley Madison stat, probably. (via Thinkstock)

Anyway, here are Playboy's sexiest cities in America:

1. New York
2. Los Angeles
3. Chicago
4. Miami
5. San Francisco
6. Boston
7. Seattle
8. Las Vegas
9. San Diego
10. Portland
11. Dallas
12. Philadelphia
13. Austin
14. Minneapolis
15. Denver
16. Tampa
17. Atlanta
18. Phoenix
19. Washington, D.C.
20. Charlotte
21. Orlando
22. Houston
23. Pittsburgh
24. New Orleans
25. Santa Barbara

They also mentioned the least-sexy city... Detroit. Great job kicking a city when it's already down, Playboy

You can read all of the details about the kinkiest/not kinkiest cities, what surprising city does the most sexting, and more Totally True Ashley Madison stats (and actually true stats taken from other places, like NerdWallet) on Playboy's website.

* When Hef isn't in it. Hef entering any room drives down that room's sexiness by 78%, which is why the Playboy bunnies have to be SO attractive.

We asked comedians for the worst DTR (define the relationship) conversations they ever had.

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No matter how valiantly you try to never, ever talk about the status of your relationship with the person you're dating, there inevitably comes a time when you have to face the DTR.

Not good DTR role models. (via Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer)

A DTR (aka "define the relationship" discussion) can leave you with clarity, a partner, or tears quietly streaming down your face on the subway ride home. Even all three! We asked our writers and contributors to share the worst DTRs they've ever had, so you can relate and/or feel better about your own life.

"Every day for four months, I had a DTR with the girl I was sleeping with asking her to split up with her current boyfriend. She eventually did. We dated for two years, then she left me for my roommate. Am I doing this right?" - Dan Wilbur, @DanWilbur

"Me: 'Do you want to move in together?' Him: 'I like keeping relationships at the place this one is now.'" - Meg Favreau, @megfavreau

"In high school, a girl who had rejected me years earlier called late at night to say she had changed her mind. She asked me to meet up in a nearby parking lot, where she said she wanted to be my girlfriend. We started kissing and she immediately broke down in tears. Then she got in her car and drove off without explaining, leaving me to walk home. When I got back, I called to find out what happened and she was already asleep. She never called me again." - Matt Nedostup, @mattnedostup

"On my birthday, we snuck into my room to mess around, away from the party. He went down on me, started crying, said he loved me, threw up in a plastic bag, then snuck out of the room, with the bag. We never spoke about it again." - Aimee Lutkin, @alutkin

"I once fell asleep in the middle of a DTR talk. This girl was telling me she had hooked up with another guy on our trip and wasn't sure if we were exclusive and I woke up to her being really pissed." - Johnny McNulty, @JohnnyMcNulty

"I asked my date what his expectations were for the movie Django Unchained, but he thought I was asking about his expectations for our relationship. His voice dropped and he said 'Can we not do that?' When I clarified what I was actually asking, he said, 'I love Leonardo DiCaprio.'" - Ariel Karlin, @arielkarlin

"I was making out with a guy I'd met at a bar and he stopped and said, 'If we're going to do this, there's something I want you to know—I huffed a lot of Scotch Guard in high school.' I'm glad he felt brave enough to confess, although maybe he could also have mentioned the herpes." - Jessie Dean Altman, @niccagematch

"I had been dating a guy for about a month. One night we took Molly and he referred to me as his girlfriend for the first time. I was like 'Hey! You just called me your girlfriend!' which made me happy. He got a horrified look on his face and said, 'Umm, I didn't really mean that. Sorry, I really can't have a girlfriend right now. But let's have fun the rest of the night!' We didn't. Of course I still dated him for 2 months." - Anonymous

"I was dating a guy for a bit. Things were going well, and one night he told me loved me. The very next day, he told me he thought I was more into 'this' than he was. I asked him what gave him that impression since he was the one to say he loved me. His response? 'That's an excellent question.' Thanks! We never spoke again." - Deborah Gross, @convoswithdeb

"Once I told a guy I loved him and he gave me the thumbs up." - Missy Baker, @themissybaker

This dad's sweater was so ugly that it made his son cry.

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"Dad, this isn't pre-K anymore. I have a reputation to uphold!" 

Kindergarten looks 2k15. (via America's Funniest Home Videos/YouTube)

This kid was crying when he arrived at school. Not because he didn't want to go to school and not because he was afraid to be separated from his parents. He was sad because his dad's sweater was ugly af, and he didn't want to be seen with that shit:

Step up your game, pops. (via America's Funniest Home Videos/YouTube)

Who could blame him?

With today's data dump, Ashley Madison hackers have officially put out more than the site's users.

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Are these additional 20 gigabytes of husbands cheating on you?

We are running out of sexy stock photos to illustrate Ashley Madison stories. (Thinkstock)

The hackers behind the big Ashley Madison security breach just released another 20 GB of data, twice the amount of their last leak. According to Motherboard, the data seems to include emails from Avid Life Media's CEO Noel Biderman (Avid Life Media is Ashley Madison's parent company). It's not yet clear how much of the data is user information. 

And then Noel was all like: "QTc1k81uBC, motherf*ckers!" (screenshot via Motherboard)

The data, uploaded to the same dark web site as the last dump, was sent with the message "Hey Noel, you can admit it's real now." This is probably a reference to Biderman, who, let's be honest, can probably admit it's real now. Sorry, Noel (but also you're the person we probably feel least sorry for in all of this, so). 

Hey, denial is something a whole bunch of people are probably practicing right now as their email addresses turn up on sites like this one, where you can search for yourself or anyone you know. 

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