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These epic DIY Slip 'N Slides will put your childhood to shame.

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Slip 'N Slides are no joke to these pioneers.

Pick one up at your local Sports Authority.
(via Imgur)

Remember being a kid in the summer and buying a $15 Slip 'N Slide on sale from Target, using it once, and then realizing it was too gross to ever use again? Well, that hunk of plastic you dared call a Slip 'N Slide is nothing compared to what these grown adults have cooked up.

1. This full-court press slide.

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2. This slide that ends in a tree. 

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3. This slide that's custom made for ducks. 

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4. This slide that took millions of years of sedimentary development to build.

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5. This slide cum Frisbee toss. 

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6. This mega crazy slide ramp. 

The Legendary Slip N Fly at Ohio Dreams in Butler, Ohio

7. This excellent parachute landing. 

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8. This slide that mother nature built herself. 

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9. This loop of death.

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10. This New Zealand rock slide. 

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Did Amy Schumer plan her perfect tweet with J.K. Simmons for months?

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I'm not calling bullsh*t, but I am calling "you've been waiting for the right moment to use that photo."

https://twitter.com/vickytweetsnow/status/636020469695516673

Maybe you've heard or maybe you haven't, but last night someone said Amy Schumer looks like the lady from that iconic "American Gothic" painting. Or a descendent of her, in any case. #NoDisprespect, of course.

https://twitter.com/amyschumer/status/636021026757869568?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Hilariously, and to everyone's delight, Amy Schumer responded with a picture of herself and beloved actor J.K. Simmons being dead ringers for the portrait's subjects. "Complete with plastic fork!" raved everyone. But here's the thingamajig about this here image. It was posted two minutes later. How did she get J.K. Simmons so quickly? Because the photo's from April. How do I know that?

FOLLOW ME DOWN THIS ONE-STEP RABBITHOLE!

http://giphy.com/gifs/amy-schumer-mtv-movie-awards-2015-jk-simmons-xTiTnoF9s7t1ldtFdK

I wondered to myself "How do these two know each other?" So, and this is what makes me a genius, I Googled their names and only searched things before yesterday. Turns out, the last time they were seen together was when Schumer hosted the MTV Movie Awards back in April. In her opening bit, she did the ol' celebrity-packed-revisiting-of-the-year's-big-movies montage, which included J.K. Simmons yelling at her and calling her a "tramp stamp." At some point while filming that, these two must have realized who they look like, or someone on set commented on it, and they took the picture. I'm not saying Schumer got impatient with people not realizing she looks like a poor 19th Century farmer and paid Vicky Rogers to tweet it, I'm just saying that's a long time to wait to use a photo. (I'm really not saying that this is all fake.)

Need to relax? Channel this dog who loves hot tubs and sounds like a motorboat.

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Oh yeah. That's the spot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iacVZyP-74k

It's 7 pm on the East Coast and you know what that means—dogs in hot tubs. This dog loves hot tubs so much, apparently, his name is Cuzzie (like jacuzzi). According to the folks who posted this video, he "loves the jet in the hot tub against his back. He doesn't mind the hot water and will press against it and croon his pleasure. This time he was at it for five minutes."

Related: Watching these capybaras in a hot tub is the most jealous you'll ever be of giant rodents.

Birthday

Alanis Morissette joins Taylor Swift on stage to duet on song that came out when Taylor was 6.

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At Monday night's concert, Taylor Swift sang with Alanis Morissette, a woman who Taylor probably vaguely remembers from her childhood.

https://instagram.com/p/60jV9RjvBH/?taken-by=taylorswift

With all of Taylor Swift's power, savvy, and sway, it can be easy to forget that she's only 25. Or maybe it isn't easy to forget, because she named her new tour after her birth year. That means Taylor was only six when Alanis Morisette's Jagged Little Pill came out, aka the album that I sang along with while staring at the poster of Fox Mulder I had on my wall, because all the coolest girls had crushes on David Duchovny.

At Taylor's Monday night show in Los Angeles, she brought Alanis Morissette on stage with her to sing Morissette's hit "You Oughta Know." This caused me to do a slapdash Googling of "Taylor Swift Calvin breakup," because that's not exactly a "Hey, I love you, boyfriend!" song. As far as the Internet can tell, Calvin and Taylor are fine. As are Alanis and Taylor, as you can see in the video below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LF844sMD4Q

This dog stuck in a hedge is our new spiritual advisor.

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Every time life gives you trouble, just think about this Shiba Inu stuck in a hedge. I'm not telling you it'll help you fix your problems; it's just a fun thing to think about.

"What's on this side?" (via Imgur)

Reddit user draperga posted this picture of a happy Shiba Inu stuck in a hedge earlier this week. Here are some things you might say to this dog in a hedge, and how he would answer:

You:"I am feeling stuck in my life."
Dog:"I am feeling stuck in a hedge. But I'm not whining about it."

You: "I just feel a lack of grounding."
Dog:"I am stuck several feet above the ground, but I'm still smiling."

You:"I am worried about my hedge funds after Black Monday."
Dog:"As you can see, hedges of any kind are no problem."

"Everything's juuuuust fine." (via Imgur)

Yup. Everything is just fine, as long as I'm looking at you, Hedge Dog.

Amazon is starting one-hour alcohol delivery, helping us live our dream of being depressed shut-ins.

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Amazon Prime is finally taking its ultimate form: Amazon Prime Now, a service that will bring you booze when you want it.

"I'm smiling because I'm hoping you'll share some of your beer with me." (via Thinkstock)

OK, technically Amazon Prime Now delivers other things that you'd get at the convenience store as well, like toilet paper, plus things like TVs, because they're Amazon and they can do anything. But while sitting on the toilet for an hour waiting for the Amazon guy to deliver more toilet paper is tempting, we're really just all excited about the booze, right? According to the Amazon press release, they're definitely offering beer and wine; and BuzzFeed News is claiming they'll offer spirits as well, with delivery people checking your ID at the door. 

"Hey, Amazon, will you deliver to this field? We need more beer and hair gel." (via Thinkstock)

For now the program is just starting in the Seattle area, where Amazon Prime users can have items delivered in two hours for free or in one hour for $7.99. If you don't live in Seattle, you can just get off your butt and go to the corner store yourself.

Snooki's husband just got caught on Ashley Madison, but she's only criticizing Anna Duggar.

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Jionni LaValle is the cheating husband of "Jersey Shore"'s Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, but she doesn't have anything to say about him. 

Who bought that ring? (via Getty)

What's a very cool thing to do right after it's discovered that your husband had an Ashley Madison account? If you guessed, "Go on the radio and criticize another woman for staying with her husband after his Ashley Madison was discovered," then you might be Snooki, a woman most famous for being punched in the face.

Yesterday, on her radio program Naturally Nicole, as they discussed Josh Duggar's seemingly infinite number of dating profiles set up for cheating on his wife Anna, Snooki said:

“Yeah, that’s not shocking. He actually made a comment, and he called himself a hypocrite, and he said, ‘I’m ashamed of myself.’

...And his wife is still standing by him! It’s like, ‘What the f*ck is wrong with you? Like, what are you doing?’ Yep, screw it.”

Wow, who is the hypocrite? It could be argued that Josh is worse, since he is pretty much the lowest of the low, but if you're standing by your own cheating husband do not ask what the f*ck is wrong with anybody else who does it. Try supporting women trapped by circumstances as they work up the courage to leave instead. Like yourself. Because you have a sh*t ton of money, Snooki, you can do whatever you want!


Feeling violated.

There's now a Halloween costume portraying 2015's most wanted man.

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Since Cecil the Lion was one of the few things most Americans agreed to be upset about this year, enjoy getting yelled at if you wear this:

Would Cecil still be alive if Walter Palmer had hunted in a dentist's uniform? (via Costumeish)

The costume's description reads:

All Doctor Palmer wanted was to hang dead animals in his house, but what started as an obscure (if legally-dubious) hunting trip has since erupted into a brouhaha of trans-Atlantic proportions.

2015's most controversial killing has laid bare the rift in American and Zimbabwean attitudes toward exotic game hunting and animal conservation pitting an outraged mob against a Minnesotan[SIC] dentist in a scandal sure to be remembered for a generation.

Our Cecil Lion Killer Dentist Costume features a severed lion's head mask, bloody smock, and bloody gloves for a gruesome, complete look.

Wearing the Cecil Lion Killer Dentist costume to parties seems like an invitation for drunk people to get weepy on your shoulder about how much they loved Cecil, once they found out about him after he was dead. Or potentially dangerous altercations with angry people who feel you're mocking something very serious to them. Those people will also be drunk. Happy Halloween!

The costume runs at $59.99 and according to the website 15% goes to a "Wildlife Foundation." You're doing your part!

This handy graphic guide will show you how (not) to poison your dog.

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The Bark published this eye-catching guide that's fun to read and could save your pup's life.

Who knew these foods were so mean? (TAP TO ZOOM)
(via The Bark)

Today is National Dog Day, so why not celebrate by educating yourself? Many people know that chocolate is poisonous to dogs. But not as many know about avocados, or grapes, or caffeine. The truth is, dogs respond very differently to foods than people do, and although they'll eat pretty much anything, that doesn't mean they should.

     Related: This chart indicates which fruits are safe for dogs.

That's why it was so good of the dog lovers at The Bark to put together this graphic guide of the most dangerous foods for dogs. The retro illustrations by Lili Chin really make it pop. It's the perfect thing to read while you relax with a medication/coffee/whiskey cocktail and an avocado chocolate raisin gum fricasee. Just don't share it with your dog. Or another person, because it sounds disgusting.

Enjoy Sam and Nia's new angry goodbye video because they're taking a YouTube hiatus for '5 to 7 days.'

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Sam and Nia's new video explains why they got kicked out of a vlogger conference last week. (Skip to 7:38 for the apology monologue, or watch the entire video to see Sam get his hair blown out.)

https://youtu.be/qxUvFJhxWic?t=7m38s

Sam and Nia, as we all (against our best efforts) know, are Christian vloggers who recently became divisive Internet celebrities thanks to a possibly fakedsurprise pregnancy and miscarriage. (And long-time fans may also be familiar with their good-looking Frozen lip-syncing.) Even more recently, Sam got caught with an Ashley Madison account, the couple got kicked out of a vlogging conference, and their YouTube page started raking in enormous piles of gold. As you might guess, their videos are fascinating because of all the twists and turns and how Sam might be a sociopath.

Now, Sam and Nia have released a new video explaining in sort-of-greater detail what happened at the vlogging conference before they got the boot. Sam doesn't give much more information than what he'd already told Gawker about how he got into an altercation with a vlogger who had criticized his videos. But he does add the background information that the other guy was a mean bully and what Sam had actually meant to do to was forgive him.

At the end of the video, Sam puts on his most evocative sad-emoji face and says to the camera:

"Today has been one of the hardest days of mine and Nia's life, by far, especially for Nia. Just so much going on with us right now. Just entirely too much. And the vlog right now is just not feasible for our life right now. We're going to take a break for about a week, maybe 5 to 7 days, not really sure yet. Could be less, could be a little more, not positive yet."

Wow. It's going to be a long 5 to 7 days or less.

Ha ha this baby horse runs funny.

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Nothing to see here, except an adorable baby horse trying to keep up with mom.

Mom wait, I have little legs!!Follow me on Instagram :) dean0offical

Posted by Dean-O on Monday, August 24, 2015

 

Hahaha, look at that baby horse go! Its tiny hooves are working so, so hard to keep up. You gotta walk before you can trot, buddy. Right now you look like a little wind-up toy. Or a very prim robot. if you drank tea, you'd extend your pinky, little horse.

We've all been there though: looking foolish while trying to keep up with someone else. Keep to your own path and take it one itty-bitty step at a time. 

This undocumented Mexican immigrant works for a very surprising person: Donald Trump.

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This short documentary is a thoughtful portrait of the people Donald Trump doesn't want in America.

Unlikely Trump employee. (via YouTube)

Ricardo Aca is an undocumented Mexican immigrant who has lived in Bushwick, Brooklyn with his family for almost ten years. He attended high school and college, and now he works two jobs in New York. One of those jobs is at the Trump Hotel in Soho, meaning he works for the swirlinghair-ball of hate named Donald Trump, who once said this about Mexican immigrants:

"When Mexico sends it people, they're not sending their best. They're sending people that have lots of problems. They're bringing drugs, they're bringing crime, they're rapists."

Just another one of Trump's wild generalizations that's so flimsy it could be taken down by a mediocre middle-school debate team.

Ricardo has his associates degree in commercial photography. In the video, he says, "I can't vote, but I can take photos and share the stories of people like me." 

They're way too adorable to be criminals. (via YouTube)

In regard to his involvement in the documentary for NewLeftMedia, Ricardo says, "I know I could lose my job just for talking about this, but it doesn't make me proud to go to work everyday under his name."

Ricardo puts a positive spin on Trump's words. (via YouTube)

According to Mother Jones, this was the reaction to Ricardo Aca's participation in the mini-documentary: 

"After the video's publication, the payroll department at Trump's hotel restaurant ordered Aca to bring the renewal of his working permits. When he entered through the kitchen, he told the Times, his fellow co-workers, sushi chefs, and line cooks applauded him."

Current status of faith in humanity: restored. Here's the full video—

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-r9E5n5FnM

 

Related: Trump boots reporter who happens to be Mexican-American from press conference.

Article 50


Here's your front row seat to 14 hilariously brutal Facebook fights.

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Facebook is the digital version of a bar. 

People often gather there to fight each other and then embarrass themselves. Likewise, here are some real social media fights that began innocently, escalated quickly, and were then shut down with entertaining vitriol.

*Click/tap to expand images.*

1.

It is a stupid goatee, because you can still see it with his face blurred. (via Buzzfeed)

2.

So harsh a sitcom studio audience would go "ooooooo!" (via Failbook)

3.

MaKayla copied her homework off of Michael from #3. (via Buzzfeed)

4.

The purrfect response. (via Buzzfeed)

5.

She's a lawyer now. (Via ebaumsworld)

 

6.

To be fair, your grandma sucks. (Via Lamebook

7.

Siblings? (Via Lamebook

8.

Please confirm the crooked dick issue, Mom. (Via Buzzfeed)

9.

Doug drove over there but died on the way. (Via Buzzfeed)

10.

He's so real he makes up new spellings. (Via Lamebook

11.

Some people pay good money for that. (Via Lamebook

12.

Well, he did buy her a computer. (Via Lamebook

13.

Who could leave a baby that can type? (Via Lamebook

14.

Don't bring Dumbledore into this. (Via Lamebook

 

Pets

Trump boots reporter who happens to be Mexican-American from press conference.

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Trump claims it's because he didn't wait his turn.

Donald Trump removed Univision reporter and Mexican-American Jorge Ramos from his press conference last night in Iowa. Trump claimed it was because Ramos did not wait to be called on, which didn't sit well with the other reporters because that's not how press conferences work. Reporters have to be aggressive to ensure they're seen and heard, and Trump's instant remark that Ramos should "go back to Univision" indicated that he knew exactly who Ramos was and simply wished not to speak with him.

His response would be the same if a reporter sneezed, and he had one of his large goon bodyguards escort the troublemaker from the room. Ramos has unsuccessfully attempted to secure an interview with Trump for months, so he may have had better luck by disguising himself with someone hiding on his shoulders wearing a trench coat.

Ramos was allowed to return to the press conference, and Trump took multiple questions from him over the course of several minutes. In the end, real recognized real, because Ramos is known for his confrontational style of reporting just as much as Trump is for his brash style of answering questions. At the end of the exchange, Trump told him they'd speak again, so we have that to look forward to in the future.

Porn stars read mean comments about themselves, and the only losers are people who comment on porn.

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In the battle between porn stars and porn commenters, the stars come out on top.

But Disney World is there! (via YouTube)

If you haven't heard of Pornhub or Brazzers, you probably don't watch porn. They're super popular porn outlets. OK! Now you're all caught up. They teamed up with 4YallEntertainment to bring us this video (below) of a bunch of porn stars reading mean comments about themselves. It appears that the producers of this video hunted for the least-x-rated comments, which was probably someone's full time job for like, a year. 

The porn stars don't seem too phased by the negativity. In fact, they're surprisingly good sports about the whole thing.

Here's the highlight reel:

Power of word repetition:

He actually just looks like he belongs on an infomercial. (via YouTube)

Living in the past:

Great insight, jizzmanwun! (via YouTube)

The overused "Nickelback" insult:

Because he's a millionaire? (via YouTube)

This is just an honest, expletive-enhanced question:

Maybe it's The Hunger Games pronunciation?  (via YouTube)

FYI, he answered "I didn't really understand the question":

This comment makes zero sense. (via YouTube)

People who comment on porn are somewhat of a mystery; just think about the type of person who takes the time to comment while masturbating. Someone who really cares about porn, that's who! Here's the full video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WY70yYOQNmE

 

Jimmy Kimmel texts devastated niece about One Direction break-up, has surprisingly strong grasp of emojis.

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We're all just doing our best to acclimate to the pre-post-One Direction world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNDLZoi3lo0

One Direction has announced that they're going on a hiatus in 2016, and most people are interpreting "hiatus" to mean they're all going to pursue solo careers to find out who among them is a true Beyoncé. (I don't mean to sound naive but I actually think four of them could find success, but it's not the four you think, and I'm not going to say which four it is.)

Last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Kimmel checked in with his niece Allison to see how she was taking the One D news. As it turns out, not well, and it looks like she's either going to drink or stab away her problems.

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