In a nation plagued by difficulties and uncertainty, Pizza Rat is here to trend his way into your heart. Comedian and documentarian of life's gritty truths Matt Little captured this little guy dragging pizza down to his underworld layer, presumably to feed the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Anyone who has ever even heard of New York is responding delightfully:
Though there will always be people who look at the negative:
Pizza is even better when it's served cold, baby! He'll be back.
Indie favorite Ryan Adams announced he was going to cover every song from Taylor Swift's hit album 1989. And he did. A lot of people are saying it sounds like Bruce Springsteen?
Probably most teens who are wild about Taylor Swift won't get the same pop-y bubblegum fun feel off these guitar strumming heavy covers, but they're perfect for the snobby intellectual still resisting the hypnotic fun that is T-Swift. They can enjoy all the angsty, romantic lyrics while falling asleep on a porch during a rainstorm or something. Adams does kind of take the bite out of "Bad Blood" though:
That was definitely suffering for lack of Kendrick Lamar. And women parading around firing rocket launchers. Okay, now who do we think will be in Ryan Adams' squad?
Onion, Inc. launched a new site today, StarWipe, bringing a combination of real-time tabloid reporting (and AV Club entertainment writing) and Onion-style humor to celebrity news. One of their opening salvos was a classic "baby bump watch" slideshow, but with a very literal twist on where the "bump" was:
The baby bump was his penis, you see. There's a lot more to that article, featuring many more photos of Clooney hiding his crotch than I ever knew I wanted to stare at. StarWipe didn't only launch today with always-timely topics like George Clooney's Penis, however. It also hit the ground running with up-to-the-minute celebrity coverage.
That soap opera star attacking Viola Davis for no reason was a nice little Monday treat. Stay tuned for more from StarWipe as the new site continues to launch.
This vintage video of Bill Cosby's standup from 1983 has been edited to remove the audience laughter. The blank space is filled with eerie silences, mic static and the blank stares of an entirely unamused audience.
Maybe it's because the jokes feel dated, or maybe it's because of all the sh*t that went down with the comedian, but there is nothing funny about how eerie this is. Well, maybe the fact that it seems to take place in an alternate universe where everyone knew what a total skeezebag Cosby was off-stage is kinda funny. At any rate, it watches like a real creepy carnival sideshow, so enjoy!
Actor Ryan Reynolds recently had a baby girl with his famous and beautiful wife, actress Blake Lively. Naturally, everyone wants to see if this kid is any competition for her parents. Also, she's named James, which is confusing, but will perhaps one day be commonplace. The couple is not willing to share pictures of little James for as long as they can avoid it.
But that doesn't stop people from trying! In an interview with GQ, Reynolds discussed being almost mowed down by a car as a paparazzo tried to get that hot shot. Apparently, that's not the worst of it. He caught one of his best friends trying to sell pictures of his kid to the tabloids. BETRAYAL!!!!:
“A guy that I’d known for my whole life, one of my closest friends growing up, he had been shopping pictures of my baby around. I kind of got in front of it, which is good. But it was a slightly dark period. A bad couple of weeks.”
This was somebody you knew well?
“Somebody I grew up with, yeah. Somebody I’ve known, who’s been one of my closest friends, for 25 years.”
Was that an experience you’d had before, being betrayed by someone like that?
“No. It was like a death. It was like one of those devastating things to find out.”
Did you have a conversation about it?
“Yeah. Yeah. It was a pretty strongly worded conversation.”
Did he do it for money?
“Yeah, just for money. I mean, I don’t think he thought he would ever be caught. But it’s a pretty narrow group of people that I would send photos like that to. They’re just, like, my closest family and my closest friends: ‘Here’s us in the delivery room!’ ”
Were you like, “Next time you need a check, just ask”?
“Well, I think he’d asked for a check enough times where I was like, ‘There’s no more checks to be had.’ ”
Probably no more baby pictures, either.
“No. It was, like, so kind of shocking. There isn’t really a conversation to have. It’s just, ‘Oh, well, now I’m never going to see you or talk to you again, unfortunately.’ That’s kind of how it worked out.”
Ryan Reynolds does not mess around!
A cat-sitter received instructions that were as strange as you'd expect from a cat owner (sorry, oh god so sorry). The cat is named Freddy Mercury (not Meowcury) and the note was posted by redditor lonewolfhowl with the caption "My friend left these instructions for watching his cat."
The note was supposedly co-written by both cat and owner, and it's a quite brilliant display of this feline's penmanship and grasp on the English language.
This note paints a very strange picture, and if taken literally, it leaves the cat-sitter with a feeling of unease about what this cat and the owner are really expecting. Is it ok to hang out there? Does Freddy really like pizza? Why is a Hollywood big-shot watching a cat? Somewhere in the note there are actual instructions, buried deep as Waldo on the last page of a Where's Waldo, so good luck to whoever is watching this cat!
In case you hadn't heard, allegations have arisen that David Cameron put his genitals in the mouth of a severed pig's head in college at a party held by the Piers Gaveston Society at Oxford. Dubbed #piggate, it is simply the best scandal ever, regardless of whether or not it turns out to be true. Now, a day later, it finally has the music video it deserves in "Gettin' Piggy With It."
God, I love the Internet. Long live #PigGate, and long live, uh, pigs?
If you have several million dollars to spare and are looking for a home that makes your neighbors say, "Wow, I sure hate the jerk that bought that place and didn't tear it down," then get ready to pop that champagne. For the first time in 19 years, the "Flintstone house" in Hillsborough, CA (a suburb of San Francisco) is up for sale. Named for its wacky Bedrockian exterior, the the home was built in 1976 and has long been considered an eyesore by the other Hillsboroughians.
According to Yahoo Homes:
The home was designed in 1976 by architect William Nicholson, who achieved its multiple domes by inflating special aeronautical balloons, building frames around them from rebar and mesh, then spraying on concrete, or shotcrete.
While I don't love the colors of the home's exterior, I do really dig the shape. But it's not really surprising that the neighbors don't love it. The sales site for the home describes the other homes in the area as "extravagant, beautiful, and tucked away in the twists and turns of the hills," which I take to mean "the other homeowners in the area are very rich and stuffy, and their houses do not look like Dr. Seuss's fever dreams."
You can view all the photos of the home on the Flintstone House website.
In anticipation of The Peanuts Movie, the Peanuts people launched PeanutizeMe.com, where you can make anyone in the style of Charles Schultz. We made Peanuts doppelgangers of celebrities, so you can recognize them if they make any cameos in future Peanuts sequels.
Some fan tributes to The Simpsons are fun, like this real-life kitchen that's modeled after Marge's kitchen on the show. And then there's this fan tribute from Yoann Hervo that looks like someone took The Simpsons intro, fed it to a demon, and put what the demon shit out onto YouTube. Obviously, I have watched it seven times. And I will probably have terrible dreams tonight. Enjoy!
Bartenders have a job that can be super fun (they do get to eavesdrop on your terrible Tinder dates, after all), but can also be super unglamorous. I mean, the only other job that features more surprise vomit is probably elementary school nurse. It doesn't help that many of us can be huge jerks to bartenders without even realizing it. Well, I hope we're being jerks without realizing it. If you're being a jerk to a bartender on purpose, you're just a terrible person.*
Anyway, the folks at Playboy's Indulgence put together this video of bartenders sharing the most annoying things that their customers do. Watch, and discover exactly what your bartender gave you that dirty look.
* This is assuming that the bartender in question didn't do something like steal your spouse or take your mother off of life support.
