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Larry Wilmore talks to Bernie Sanders about pulling a 'Weekend at Bernie's' if he becomes president.

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Bernie Sanders may or may not have "felt the (heart)Bern" when he grabbed some soul food with Larry Wilmore and talked about his campaign. In what is arguably the most powerful message to the youths yet, Sanders said, "Larry Wilmore told me to tell you that my plans for criminal justice reform are on fleek." Already popular with millennials, Sanders' use of "on fleek" will make him popular with the 14-year-old set, but unfortunately they can't vote. 

With Sanders at a hearty 74 years of age, Wilmore proposed a contingency plan in the tragic event of death that is inspired by everyone's favorite movie from 1989 (other than Back to the Future Part II).  

Wilmore even had some suggestions for the campaign, and presented the swag to match.

 


Justin Timberlake pitched some theme songs to Seth Meyers, and the rhymes are crimes.

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A multi-platinum artist with both an era-defining Boy Band and solo. An actor who has starred in Oscar-nominated films and romantic comedies alike. Justin Timberlake has accomplished much in his career, but has one glaring gap: He hasn't written a theme song for a late night talk show.

Timberlake sought to right this wrong, visiting Seth Meyers' office to pitch his tunes, which might have already been rejected by other hosts. As per usual, Timberlake couldn't let a minute go by without professing his love for Jimmy Fallon.


 

'Jimmy Kimmel' does another round of celebrities reading mean tweets, and this time it's live.

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Jimmy Kimmel Live! lived up to its title with a reboot of its best segment, celebrities reading mean tweets about themselves, last night. After ten rounds of pre-taped lamenting over "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M., Kimmel brought out celebrities to read the meanest tweets they received before the studio audience. After Kimmel kicked it off following a complete summary of his Emmys bit, The Dude abided, with Jeff Bridges "reading the interesting critique... and taking it to heart." Kristen Bell read a tweet that is the stuff of good ol' misogyny, and Benedict Cumberbatch came out with the best comparison to his famous face yet. 

 

 

A snail is friends with two cats and there's a fable in there somewhere.

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If you woke up this morning hoping to see a Japanese video of a snail on a cat's paw being sniffed by another cat, you're in luck. If you didn't wake up like that, you're still in luck, because you'll enjoy it anyway.

This video is a good reminder that there's nothing more heartwarming than unlikely animal friendships. Whether it's a fox and a dog, a bear and a wolf, a squirrel and a dog's fur, a lamb and a baby rhino, or a diver and an eel, there's a special magic to seeing animals get along when they should be eating each other. And that's never been more apparent than in this clip, where you fully expect the one cat to chomp off the snail's head at any second. For all we know, that's what the cat was planning on, but thankfully for us it never happens. See for yourself:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=59&v=0UT6rmrr9a4

In addition to the adorable animal interactions, this video has a relaxing serenity to it that's extremely Japanese. The perfect framing, the ambient noise, the idyllic scenery… it's like a zen garden with cats. And it doesn't stop there. The uploader has posted a whole bunch of hypnotic videos of extremely patient cats sitting with various items on their paws. There's one with a frog:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7InRwrF9GY

Cherries (identified in the description as "mini apples"):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcgELGTrgrY

Kumquats:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Nf5x57nfng

And a whole bunch of stuff:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFjr-Gexe0k

Are patient cats the future of entertainment? Yes.

Maisie Williams stirs up more drama after interviewer asks about Jon Snow being [REDACTED].

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At the Emmys, Maisie Williams was asked by a TVLine interviewer how many times she'd been questioned that night about whether Jon Snow is alive. She immediately replied:

You're the first, and the answer is no. He's dead. Sorry.

Nice try, Williams. Who put you up to this? Was it David Benioff? 

She also said "the interview you've all read," meaning the one in Belgian magazine Humo that seemed to prove Kit Harrington was still under contract with Game of Thrones for multiple years, was "fabricated and it was totally false."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViNRXLdZi-o

Do you mean that he's technically dead but will then become alive again through resurrection by Melisandre before or after warging into a wolf's body and/or becoming a White Walker? Because the evidence for Jon Snow being dead hasaccumulatedsomuch that at this point that no one on the Internet even wants to talk about it anymore. Just kidding! Let's examine the clues forever! It's our only hobby! What else is there to do?

Article 38

Ahmed ditches intolerant high school.

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14-year-old clockmaker and viral sensation Ahmed Mohamed made the call to say "Bye Felicia" to the Texas school that had him arrested under suspicion of bringing a bomb to class. Ahmed and his family saw no reason to tolerate their intolerance.

"Ahmed said: 'I don't want to go to MacArthur,'" Mr. Mohamed told The Dallas Morning News, "These kids aren't going to be happy there." Ahmed's father has pulled the rest of his siblings from schools in the area as well. 

Offers from other schools are rolling in for the budding scientist, who got praise from geek icons from Apple co-founder/Segway connoisseur Steve Wozniak to Star Trek cast member/prolific curator of memes George Takei. Oh, and President Obama, too.

Ahmed has a busy couple of weeks ahead. He and his dad will do the traditional pilgrimage to Mecca, and then take Obama up on his offer to visit the White House. But first, as he was excited to announce, he'll be hitting up Silicon Valley.

Here's hoping his next school is cool, and not just for Texas. 

A drug company CEO raised prices on AIDS meds by 5000% and instantly became the world's biggest douchebag.

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When Turing Pharmaceuticals bought the drug called Daraprim in August, the company immediately raised the price of one pill from $13.50 to $750. That's a 5000% percent increase on a drug often used by vulnerable cancer and AIDS patients. CEO Martin Shkreli defended the price hike to CBS This Morning:

At this price, it's a reasonable profit, not excessive at all. Yeah, I could see how it looks greedy, but I think there's a lot of altruistic properties to it.

Basically the company is saying that they'll use the proceeds of their new profits to invest in research for the development of new treatments for the disease. When asked what percentage of that new Scrooge McDuck-level pile of money would go towards research, the company did not respond. Additionally, several infectious diseases doctors have spoken up to say there's no urgent need for new treatments.

CEO Martin Shkreli at the company puppy party, where everyone charged a puppy $750 for their love.

Outraged citizens, comedians, and even Hillary Clinton unleashed their anger towards Martin Shkreli on Twitter, remarking on both the price hike and his looks:

https://twitter.com/HillaryClinton/status/645974772275408896https://twitter.com/michelleisawolf/status/646127489975234561https://twitter.com/pattonoswalt/status/646199943485517824https://twitter.com/longwall26/status/646128840289468418https://twitter.com/JimNorton/status/646173871981359104

This is a private company that bought a cheap drug and jacked the price to a level that patients with AIDS and cancer cannot afford. We can only assume that their corporate headquarters removed wheelchair accessibility, and that employees can hunt the custodial staff for sport.


These tomboys wore dresses every day for a week and managed not to flash everyone.

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The daring social experimenters over at Buzzfeed Yellow got a bunch of tomboys to wear dresses for a week in order to see what happens. At the beginning, the participants talk about how they didn't like wearing dresses as kids, which led to them never wearing them as adults. After a week of the #dresslife, their feelings don't really change much. They are uncomfortable and more frequently creeped on by guys. They ultimately conclude that you should just wear what you want, because we live in a free country, dammit. 

https://youtu.be/jMj7MXz4cm8

 

This map of the fattest states will show you where your mom lives.

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Obesity in America has reached epidemic proportions, and it's just getting worse. Experts believe the problem can be linked to the fact that food is delicious and exercise blows. But if you've ever wondered which states have the highest rate of obesity, wonder no more. In an effort to shame us all into eating kale, The State of Obesity has put together a handy interactive map of the US, with all the states color-coded by plumpness.

The darker the state, the higher the obesity rate. Wasn't that a Tupac lyric?

The original post also includes a full chart of the states ranked by proportion of obese residents.

Rank

State

Adult Obesity Rate 2014

1Arkansas

35.9%

2West Virginia

35.7%

3Mississippi

35.5%

4Louisiana

34.9%

5Alabama

33.5%

6Oklahoma

33.0%

7Indiana

32.7%

8Ohio

32.6%

9North Dakota

32.2%

10South Carolina

32.1%

11Texas

31.9%

12Kentucky

31.6%

13Kansas

31.3%

14Wisconsin

31.2%

14Tennessee

31.2%

16Iowa

30.9%

17Michigan

30.7%

17Delaware

30.7%

19Georgia

30.5%

20Pennsylvania

30.2%

20Missouri

30.2%

20Nebraska

30.2%

23South Dakota

29.8%

24North Carolina

29.7%

24Alaska

29.7%

26Maryland

29.6%

27Wyoming

29.5%

28Illinois

29.3%

29Idaho

28.9%

29Arizona

28.9%

31Virginia

28.5%

32New Mexico

28.4%

33Maine

28.2%

34Oregon

27.9%

35Nevada

27.7%

36Minnesota

27.6%

37New Hampshire

27.4%

38Washington

27.3%

39Rhode Island

27.0%

39New York

27.0%

41New Jersey

26.9%

42Montana

26.4%

43Connecticut

26.3%

44Florida

26.2%

45Utah

25.7%

46Vermont

24.8%

47California

24.7%

48Massachusetts

23.3%

49Hawaii

22.1%

50District of Columbia

21.7%

51Colorado

21.3%


As you can see, the South didn't come out too well in the rankings. But rather than associate that with any negative stereotypes, maybe just consider how tasty their food is. And sweet tea? That stuff is fantastic, but it also has a million calories per sip. They never stood a chance.

The least obese states (and one district) present less of a clear pattern, showing up all over the map. Colorado, D.C., Hawaii, Massachusetts… it's hard to tell what they have in common, despite a lower (but not fantastic) incidence of obesity. Maybe by studying them, health experts can figure out how to improve the health of Americans in general. Or at least figure out why the states that have legalized marijuana are all so low on the list. Is the munchies a myth? This is a game-changer.

Head on over to The State of Obesity to play around with the full interactive map. It shows how the rates of obesity have changed in recent years, both on the state level and nationally. And if your lust for cartography isn't satisfied yet, check out these other interesting maps we've covered:

Guy with playground equipment fetish banned from coming close to a slide.

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Slide fetishist Christopher Johnson was arrested this week for making sweet love to a playground slide in Stoke Green Park in Coventry, England. It was his second offense. What do you do with a problem like Mr. Johnson?

To be fair, those swings look very beautiful in this light.

Ban him from playgrounds forever! Or three years, at least. That's what happened to the 46-year-old repeat offender. The Coventry Magistrates Court gave him a three-year Criminal Behaviour Order. The order bans him from "partying" at any parks, leisure centers, swimming pools, lidos (what is this, Englanders?) or playgrounds featuring that seductive temptress we call a slide.

It seems sad that Christopher Johnson is being separated from his primary sexual interest, but in addition to the ban he is also receiving sex offender treatment for 18 months, and a rehabilitation activity requirement. It's not explicit if this means psychological treatment and help, or verbal abuse where they shout, "You're a pervert!" at him for a year and a half, but let's hope for the former. A man having sex with a slide is NOT living his best life. Help him get his life back on track, guys!

Once he's a functioning member of society again, he can get a job and buy his own damn slide. 

Article 32

A transgender waitress wrote a Facebook post about a customer interaction that went viral.

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Waitress and transgender woman Liv Hnilicka posted a story on her Facebook page of an adorable interaction she had with a family at the restaurant she works in. She left it public so people could share it as an example of a positive conversation about something that is so often treated negatively. As of now, it has over 2,700 likes. 

Stellar parenting moment of the day:This afternoon I was at my waitressing job on a beautiful early fall afternoon....

Posted by Liv Hnilicka on Sunday, September 20, 2015

The post reads:

Stellar parenting moment of the day:

This afternoon I was at my waitressing job on a beautiful early fall afternoon. Two parents and their young daughter came in; the tall burly dad adorably scratching his back on the door as they walked in. As I was filling the water station, he came up to me and said, "My daughter just asked if you were a boy or a girl. I didn't want to speak for you so would you like to talk to her?" I nervously said yes and walked to their table. "Hi, I like your hair ribbon," I said. "I heard you asked if I was a boy or girl. I think the important thing to remember is that everyone can be anything they want to be in this world. And it's also important to try to be the best selves we can be for our family and friends. And even to strangers. So to answer your question, I was told that I was a boy when I was little and now I live my adult life as a girl. It sounds complicated but it's actually pretty simple. Do you have any questions for me?" She looked at me smiling and simply said, "Nope!"

I walked away from the table feeling really good about parents intentionally engaging their children about possibly difficult topics. And showing that giving people the power to voice their truths in this complicated world is beautiful and healing.

Way to go, mom and dads out there making space for transfolks/gnc people like me. 

Liv told Cosmopolitan that part of the reason this story seems to be so popular is that it stands in such marked contrast to all the crappy "conversations" transgender people face in public:

"Just this morning I was waiting for the bus and this man walked by me and kept smiling at me and then finally said, 'Cut that faggoty shit out.' And I'm like, 'I'm just in the world; I'm just waiting for the bus. It doesn't have to be this big conflict.' So yeah, this interaction was so out of the ordinary that I felt like I needed to run to the mountain top and shout it to the world. Clearly it's resonated with people."

Not only is this story a great example of parents being open and supportive of teaching their kid about different experiences, it's also pretty shocking that a waitress had a good interaction at her job. Waiting tables is a nightmare! 

Taylor Swift met the little boy from that viral ‘Shake It Off’ video. A dance party ensued.

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You've seen Taylor Swift dance to "Shake It Off." You've seen Taylor Swift dance to "Shake It Off" while wearing a tutu. But have you seen Taylor Swift dance to "Shake It Off" with that kid from the "Shake It Off" viral video who danced on Ellen? When you're done reading this post, you can answer yes to that question. Congratulations.

First, some historical context. Here's the original video of 7-year-old Dylan's magnetic performance:

https://www.facebook.com/217520528446848/videos/vb.217520528446848/382656211933278/?type=2&theater

And here's his Ellen appearance after he quickly shot to Internet stardom:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tJYoiFl6FI

And now, the moment we've all been waiting for: an Instagram video of Taylor Swift and Dylan dancing together:

https://instagram.com/p/76-loRDvL-/

This is what it looks like for your dreams to come true. Think of how many goals this kid can accomplish by the time he hits that difficult tween time.

iTunes rejects feminist app that shows real quotes from politicians for being offensive.

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Lizz Winstead, co-creator of The Daily Show and outspoken women's rights activist, created a satirical-yet-informative app called Hinder. The app mocks the infamous swiping aspect of Tinder by using it to display photos of politicians and detailing their words and actions towards women and their reproductive rights. However, iTunes won't allow Hinder in their app store, because it's "defamatory, offensive, mean-spirited, or likely to place the targeted individual or group in harm's way."

Why won't iTunes let me laugh at silly politicians?

Winstead is not happy with Apple's rejection of Hinder. Apple explicitly states that satire is allowed in apps: "Professional political satirists and humorists are exempt from the ban on offensive or mean-spirited commentary." She told Huffington Post, "The biggest joke of all is they have an exemption for professional political satirists and humorists—and dammit, I should have not been a florist all these years and gone into the satire realm!"

The app is available through Lizz's website LadyPartsJustice, so I tried it out. Here are some of the gems I came across while swiping through politicians:

Dat hair tho.
Women wives with permission can do anything!
"My body, everybody's choice."

Hinder is all the fun of Tinder but with a lot of hilariously sad truth bombs. Here's how Winstead describes it:

All of a sudden there's a satirical app like your hookup app that's telling you that, basically, if you choose to hook up with people, or you make a decision to live any kind of sexual lifestyle that you want, there are people who are desperately trying to prevent you from making that experience be safe, be acceptable, be a lot of things.

Although it's not available in the app store, you still have the right to choose to try out Winstead's app on her website.


Carly Fiorina sang songs about her dogs, who are running to replace Bo and Sunny Obama.

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Carly Fiorina is on fire this week, having killed it in the second Republican Debate to surge to number two for the nomination, right behind Donald Trump. Fiorina loves animals: at the debate she said she'd have her Secret Service code name be Secretariat, presumably after her favorite plot arc on Bojack Horseman. She has two dogs, named Max and Snickers, demonstrating her true Americanness by naming a pet after a chocolate bar.

Jimmy Fallon managed to convince her to share one of the songs she sings to the dogs, to the tune of "Rock Around the Clock": Music by Bill Haley & His Comets, lyrics by Carly Fiorina, written from the perspective of Snickers.

 

Amy Schumer just sold her memoir for an amount of $ more shocking than any of her sketches.

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Amy Schumer has sold a memoir for somewhere between $8-10 million, which is so much money that even the range of money it could be is a huge amount of money.

According to Entertainment Weekly, Schumer's book basically made everyone in publishing lose their goddamn minds.

The auction for the recent Emmy winner and Entertainment Weekly cover star’s book concluded last Friday, with the winning bid falling between $8-10 million, a source confirms to EW. (That’s even more than we estimated last June.) Schumer’s agent, David Kuhn, had been circulating the proposal widely across Manhattan publishing houses. Editors had to offer a bid on the book to even get a meeting with Schumer.

And Publisher's Weekly, who first reported the book's imminent deal, has details about the content:

The book, it's thought, will explore Schumer's childhood, how she got her big break in comedy, her family, and feminism.

Hopefully it will be as funny as her Emmys speech.

Kids today are truly coming of age in a historical boom of books by female comedians. This era will probably be known by future scholars as the Age Of Hilarious And Poignant Memoirs By Women In Comedy, high schools are likely a few years away from replacing all their textbooks with copies of Bossypants and Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, and the children, oh, the children... They'll be so funny and wise.

Adorably stupid kid can't blow out his own birthday candle.

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Ashleigh Williamson posted a video of her 2-year-old son trying to blow out his birthday candle. It takes him a while, and by that, I mean it takes longer than two seconds. He doesn't seem to understand the concept of opening his mouth to let out air, or something. His dad makes fun of him for a little bit before giving him a straw to concentrate his blow, which helps him successfully extinguish the fire. What a cute little bozo.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OULuqNgEWmU

 

Commuters' darkest confessions are being displayed in real-time at a train station.

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A new art project called The Waiting Wall is giving visitors to the Brighton train station in England something to stare at while waiting for a train besides their phones and fellow passengers: the anonymous confessions of fellow travelers and strangers on the Internet.

https://twitter.com/FreeTheTreesDev/status/646001660997861376

The large billboard beckons waiting commuters to share secrets on a website (so people aren't just walking up to the screen and typing secrets for everyone to see) that will be displayed both online and in the train station's waiting area. The messages have since spread across news outlets and the Internet for their compelling and sometimes heartbreaking content.

https://twitter.com/thepooluk/status/646300462392569857https://twitter.com/guardian/status/645949091256664068

Created by the electronic storytelling group Free The Trees, The Waiting Wall is part of this year's Brighton Digital Festival, which is going on right now in the English seaside town. Co-creator Alan Donohoe said the idea came to him while waiting for a train there himself, "It just struck me as the perfect place for it. There’s a strange feeling attached to waiting somewhere so busy, in such a transient place."

Is there anything more British than queuing up to wait for a delayed train after a beach trip to Brighton, and hiding your impatience by feigning interest in the completely raw yet politely anonymous confessions of strangers?

https://twitter.com/ClairePotter/status/642243991166173184https://twitter.com/aislingbrock/status/642235246663073792https://twitter.com/thewaitingwall/status/641310942303789056

The name of the project is itself a reference to the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem, where pilgrims leave prayers stuck in between the stones of the ruined wall of an ancient temple. This is supposed to be a "secular, digital Wailing Wall." 

https://twitter.com/thewaitingwall/status/641282383556276224https://twitter.com/thewaitingwall/status/640937138394124288

Similarly, Donahoe hopes that leaving their private confessions at the Waiting Wall will help people remember that "We all have faults, make terrible mistakes and are haunted by things like lost love and personal failure. Acknowledging that you have problems worth sharing is still a big taboo in our society."

I mean, I TOTALLY didn't leave a secret and then feel much better afterwards. I am perfect. Yup. (I hope you enjoyed it, Brighton commuters.)

It's finally here! A fitness app that tracks exactly how much you brag about working out.

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Whether it's a Facebook status update about your lame 5K or assaulting a co-worker with the intricacies of your sweat patterns, everyone knows your workout doesn't count unless you talk about your workout. And now there's a fitness device to track bragging about your fitness, thanks to Mashable.

Keep talking about the gym, almost there.

Sure, this is a parody video, but the fact that nobody knows how to shut up about their marathon training makes it feel eerily true to real life. If this brag-tracking bracelet was really available for purchase for $19.99, people would probably buy it.

I'm fit because I told you I'm fit.

Here's the video, and remember to tell everyone you see about your active lifestyle! And don't forget to include detailed information about your juice cleanse.

 

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